My apologies for the month-long wait. I've had trouble writing during most of February and have only just found my inspiration again! I'm hoping I can try to update weekly if not, it will be two-weekly, but we shall see.

In this chapter, Tony begins the road to recovery...

PART SIX

THE RECOVERY OF TONY STARK

Chapter Two

First Steps

Gamora found Quill in the Milano making a few minor repairs to the ship. He'd put them off long enough so to see him actually working on them was heartening. She was not looking forward to the conversation she was about to have with him.

After she'd found Tony and promised to stay with him, Gamora had eventually managed to coax him out of the cupboard he had hidden himself in and back to his bed, where she promptly, with his permission, gave him an injection to help him sleep. He needed his rest. She had been pleased to see Pepper was no longer at Tony's side.

She didn't know what to think of Pepper. She disagreed with the action the woman had taken to save Tony's life. It was done now, there was no reversing it. She knew Tony still loved Pepper and his disappointment in her was only paramount now since her actions were still fresh in his mind. She hoped they could find a balance.

Tony needed Pepper just as much as Pepper needed him.

"You ready to go?" asked Quill, interrupting Gamora from her thoughts.

She pulled back from thoughts of them and frowned at Quill.

Quill's clothes were covered in oil and his face was flushed with sweat. The smile on his face vanished when he saw Gamora's guilty face. "Gamora, what is it?"

"I'm staying on Earth for a while," she replied.

"What?" Quill moved forward and grasped her by her arms. "What? Why? We can't stay here. We've got to leave, we've got the galaxy to explore and find new interesting stuff!"

"Peter," she said quietly. "This is something I have to do. I promised Tony years ago I would get him back home."

"You've done it. Earth is his home," pointed out Quill, looking confused over her assertion she hadn't kept her promise. "You've fulfilled the promise you made."

She smiled sadly at him. "He's not… home, home. He's not… himself. I need to be there with him, to help him."

Quill stepped back. "You haven't really seen him in years. You do not need to do this, Gamora!" He was denying her the opportunity to do what she knew she had to do.

"It doesn't matter if we only just reconnected. What matters is that I always promised to help him get back home when he was prisoner. I promised him he would enjoy his life again, that he could still live despite what was done to him. But he can't enjoy his life. He's been forced to live on and I know if I leave he may try something drastic. If I'm here, with him, I can help him," she beseeched Quill, hoping he might understand.

"But… if he wants to die, then why stop him?" asked Quill.

"Because I will regret not trying to help him if he tries it!" she retorted. "I know what it is like to be tortured by Thanos and to be forced to do his bidding, to carry out his grand plan in the bid of trying to save the universe. I was lucky I found a way out. Thanos loved me in his own twisted way, but Tony? He was a prisoner, someone who prevented Thanos from taking Earth years ago. Tony was tortured in the most horrific ways I have ever seen. No one here on Earth can help him deal with that reality." She reached forward for Peter's hands. "But I can!"

Quill was silent; his eyes inspecting Gamora's face but his hands remained in hers as she waited for his answer. "I can't stay here. Helping him is going to take up a lot of your time."

"I know. I could be here weeks, months or even more than a year," she admitted. "But Tony needs someone who understands what he went through. No one here on Earth could."

"He could come with us," suggested Quill. "There's room on the Milano for him for sure."

Gamora shook her head. "Nebula is on-board. I think she intends to stay with us." She bit her lower lip. "After what she did to Tony years ago… Being on the same ship as one another wouldn't work out well. I don't think Tony even knows he helped reverse all the damage Thanos ever did to myself or my sister. Nebula is organic again, thanks to the man she raped." She lowered her eyes. "No, Peter, Tony can't come with us. It would cause a huge amount of issues I do not want to deal with. Tony needs to be at home."

"A year is a long time, Gamora," replied Quill. "Things can change in that time."

Gamora narrowed her eyes. Was Quill indicating what she thought he meant? "Are you insinuating that I might not want to return with you at all?" She felt angry, annoyed at the assertion her partner had made. "That I would rather stay here?"

Quill's mouth twitched. "Possibly."

"You're jealous?" She couldn't believe it.

Quill didn't reply but his face said it all.

"You think something might happen between Tony and I?" She folded her arms across her chest, anger filling her at the slight Quill was making against her, even though guilt settled in her stomach as she remembered the passionate kiss she had shared with Tony; something which she intended on keeping from Peter. If he was already panicking over her staying on Earth for a long period of time, it wouldn't help if he actually knew something had happened.

He didn't respond right away but his hard features fell. "No. I shouldn't have considered it. I don't want to lose you. And if you stay here…" he trailed off, though she understood his meaning.

"Peter, I love you. I can't willingly leave this planet when someone I care about needs help. I have to stay. No matter what you say or believe, I will remain loyal to you. You were one of the first good things to happen in my life. I cannot forget that and I wouldn't throw it away." She reached up and stroked his cheek. "Tony and I would never work. We could be close but never lovers." Though she couldn't deny that the kiss they had shared had been breath-taking. The attraction was certainly there. "I'll stay in touch. I'll need you to come and pick me up when I'm ready," she smiled, leaning in to give him a kiss on the lips.

His lips twitched. "Ok."

She stepped back, watching him closely. "I do not expect you to stay. I know the others wouldn't either but I'd like you to do me a favour."

"What is it?"

"We need to know what else Tony did when he used the Gauntlet. How many other planets have been affected? Has everything Thanos ever done been reversed? Who lives now when they were dead? We need answers and I trust you to find out," explained Gamora warmly.

Quill pulled her into a hug. "Will do." He kissed the top of her head. "See you soon, yeah?"

Gamora nodded. "Yeah." She stepped back. "I'd better say goodbye to the others. Stay in touch. I'll call often."

"I look forward to those calls," replied Quill. He watched sadly as she moved further into the craft to bid farewell to the others.

When she was done, Gamora stepped back to the edge of the field where the ship had been parked since their arrival on Earth, and watched as Quill and the rest of the Guardians left the Earth. She looked to the left as the ship shot off into the atmosphere. "Are you sure you want to stay here with me?"

The one surprise that had come to her was Nebula who had proclaimed that she was staying on Earth with Gamora.

"Got no choice now, have I?" Nebula raised an eyebrow at her. "Quill's gone."

"I can call him back," replied Gamora. She felt a bit uneasy over Nebula wanting to remain on Earth, especially since Tony still didn't know he had helped Nebula when he'd been wielding all the stones. She had hoped to keep it from him but with Nebula staying…

"I know you're worried what Stark will think if he sees me. I need to be here. I haven't been organic in so long. I have my own arms, my own legs… my kneecaps… I'm whole again because of him. I still have the memories of Thanos and what he did to me but... I could live a normal life without people fearing me. I barely remember my life before Thanos but I know I was happier despite the conditions I lived in."

Gamora swallowed. "Then why not go back home?"

"I don't belong there anymore. My people were not very well travelled. If I return there, they'll know who I am. They'll know what I've done. I need to be with…" Nebula stopped, hesitated, but then added, "family."

Gamora understood. Though they were not biologically sisters, they had been raised by Thanos to view each other as such.

"I want us to be sisters. I know I have a lot to make up for, especially when it comes to Stark… If I don't try, I will not be able to move on," she admitted.

"Tony doesn't know you survived yet. He probably thinks you are dead," said Gamora quietly. "I worry you being here would be a hindrance to his recovery."

"That's why I'm going to try to stay out of his way as much as possible. Spending time with Quill isn't something I want to do and dropping me off at any old planet isn't a good idea. I'd rather be with you and learn to live again."

Gamora sighed. She couldn't stop Nebula from staying but it would complicate matters. But, in a way, she was glad Nebula was with her. She wouldn't be alone either.

After all, they both needed healing.

"Pepper?" Steve approached her, noting her curled up form on the sofa in the main living area of the Compound. "Are you okay?"

She sniffed. "No."

"It's Tony, isn't it?" Steve asked quietly.

She sat up; tear streaks still present on her cheeks. "He knows what I did to save him. He hates me."

Steve sat beside her, pulling her into a hug. "Pepper, you did the right thing. You saved his life. He's home now."

Her watery eyes looked into his. "You really believe I did the right thing?" she swallowed.

"I do," he insisted. "Tony may not know it but he does want to live. Death wouldn't put him at peace. Allowing someone to die when they could be saved is unethical. We couldn't knowingly let him die if there was a way to ensure his survival. It goes against our principles."

She sniffed, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. "But Tony wanted to die! And I went against what he wanted! I was selfish!"

"No," replied Steve, shaking his head. "You did it for him too."

"He doesn't want to talk to me," she mumbled. "Tony's out of Medical now. But he refuses to talk to me or even be in the same room! If he walks in and I'm there, he turns and walks out! If I arrive and he's already there, he makes a point in leaving!"

Steve frowned. He hadn't considered Tony would be so cruel to hurt Pepper like this. She'd helped him. "He shouldn't be doing that," he said quietly.

But Pepper looked at him and asked rather softly: "Would you want to be in the presence of someone who saved your life when all you wanted to do would be to die?"

Steve didn't think about the question before answering. "It doesn't matter. Tony dying wasn't an option. If there is a way to save someone, regardless of their own thoughts and feelings, we should always take it. Every life is important. Why should we allow people to die?"

"Doesn't Tony deserve the choice too?" Rhodey stepped into the room, frowning as he glanced between the two of them.

"Of course he does," answered Steve. "He deserves life, not death."

"He wanted death," replied Rhodey. "Pepper took it from him. You talk about choices, Steve, but you fail to take into account Tony's own choice of wanting to die. You've taken that choice from him by refusing what he desired. But you are still maintaining he wants to live and that Pepper has done the right thing. She hasn't, not according to Tony. He has every right to ignore her and not want to be with her. Pepper knew he wanted to die but she still went against his wishes!"

Steve stood up, feeling angry at Rhodey's words. "She did the right thing!"

Rhodey shook his head. "Maybe to us she has, but to Tony? No." He stepped closer and reached for Steve's shoulders. "We all want Tony to live and be with us again. But look at what he has suffered! He feels closer to Gamora than to any of us. He's barely talking to me because I didn't stop Pepper from bringing him back!"

Steve swallowed. "How are you okay about that?"

"Because I respect his right to choose," replied Rhodey, his voice hard. "When he wants to talk to me I will be there. If he wants to kill himself I will try to stop him but if he is really serious about ending his life, none of us will be able to prevent it from happening."

"Tony shouldn't have to die," said Steve. "He doesn't understand…"

Rhodey folded his arms across his chest. "Understand what, Steve? Do any of us truly know what Tony went through for the years he was not on Earth? No, we don't! None of us has the right to decide where to push Tony to. Only Tony has the right to decide. Tony is my best friend but I will respect his choice, no matter how much it will hurt me if I lose him!"

"Boys, please!" shouted Pepper, now standing up, her body still shaking, but the tear streaks on her cheeks having now faded. "No matter what you feel is right, Steve, I did take away Tony's choice. I saved him when I shouldn't have done. I have to live with that. I want to help Tony but he won't let me in! Please do not make things worse by telling him he is wrong!"

Steve stepped back. "How did you know?"

"How did I know you were going to talk to him?" asked Pepper quietly. "Because I know that's what you would do. He's already attacked you once. And he'll have no problem doing it again if you tell him I was right to do what I did."

Steve bit his lip. Tony had attacked him. He remembered. How could he have forgotten? Tony blamed him for allowing Thanos to capture him originally. His words had angered Tony instead of helping him. "It's not fair he feels the way he does…" he murmured.

"No, it isn't," said Rhodey, "but we need to be his friends, not his enemies, nor his judge. He needs our support. And, just maybe, one day he may feel he can live again, but the only thing keeping him around, keeping him alive is Gamora's influence. She's staying here. Tony asked her to. The other Guardians have left but they'll keep in contact with her and return when she needs them to. We need to be his friends. And that is what I am going to do." He turned and walked away, pausing only to look over his shoulder. "What about you?"

Steve sighed. He knew what he had to do.

Despite his conversation with Pepper and Rhodey and his belief she had done the right thing in saving Tony's life, Steve still decided to seek out Tony a few hours later. They hadn't spoken properly in years, save for a few brief conversations since Tony had been rescued from Thanos.

Now that it was all over, Steve hoped he and Tony could come to some understanding. They needed it after all. Steve walked down the corridor, turned to the left and moved down a set of stairs before turning to the right and through another door before he came to the hallway that had been sealed off for Tony's personal use.

Steve stopped.

Was he doing the right thing? He just wanted Tony to know that they all wanted to help him.

"Trouble is will he accept it?" muttered Steve.

"Will I accept what?"

Steve turned.

Tony stood behind him with a cup of coffee in one hand, with the other hanging loosely at his side. Gamora stood beside him.

Steve swallowed. "Tony. It's good to see you," he smiled.

"Hmm." Tony didn't return the smile, just took a sip from his coffee. "Are you sure about that, Rogers?"

Steve bristled. "You can call me Steve."

"Rogers," Tony replied, his eyes narrowing.

"What is your problem?" asked Steve, feeling angry that he'd let himself get angry.

Tony turned his head briefly to Gamora. "Please hold this," he asked gently.

Gamora took the cup. "Tony…"

But Tony ignored her.

Steve felt like he'd overstepped his mark, especially with the way Tony was walking slowly towards him. He needed to remember Tony had been enhanced by Thanos. He was capable of a lot more heavier damage than one would assume despite his small frame. Tony's face was set with vicious intentions; Steve could see it by the way his eyes looked.

"If you think you have any right to be in this section after what you said…"

"Tony-" Steve started, realising someone had already told Tony about Steve's views on Pepper's decision to save him. He was cut off when Tony's hand wrapped around his throat and pushed him back against the wall. "Hey-!"

"You have no right to talk to me!" hissed Tony, clenching his fingers tight around Steve's throat. "I told you before that everything that has happened to me was because of you! You decided to close that portal before I had a chance to fall through! You only had to wait a few more seconds! But did you?"

Steve struggled to respond but couldn't get the words out as Tony's fingers tightened on his windpipe.

"No!" Tony's eyes blazed. And then he pulled away, stepping back and releasing Steve from the harsh grip he'd had on his throat. But when he spoke again his voice was soft. "What's worse than leaving me stranded in space? It's agreeing that saving me was the right decision. You've come to speak to me to knock some sense into me, right?"

Massaging his throat, Steve fought to maintain his composure. He was shocked at Tony's attack on him, but considering it had happened before, it shouldn't have surprised him. "Tony… I…" He couldn't lie. He hung his head. "I don't want you to die without seeing first if you can live your life again…"

"After everything I've lived through, do you really believe I can have a normal life?" responded Tony, his voice harsh. "And don't say you've been able to after your 'trauma'. You weren't tortured or ripped apart and put back together and forced to do things you never wanted to do. I have memories I want to forget. I have memories that haunt me whenever I close my eyes! A normal life isn't possible for me. My trauma…. It's… so much more than you could ever believe it was…"

Steve moved his gaze over to Gamora who was watching silently from behind Tony.

"Gamora's time with Thanos is still traumatising for her," clarified Tony, "but she is capable of moving on. Her species are more durable than humans. She was lucky she escaped on her own accord and planning. I didn't. I was a prisoner. There is a big difference between the two of us."

"He doesn't want to suffer anymore." Gamora stepped forward, placing a hand on Tony's shoulder. "By saving his life, he's only being tortured more."

Steve didn't know what to say. He'd come here to talk to Tony but had instead had everything thrown back in his face.

"I know what I want," said Tony. "Nothing you say is going to change that."

"So you're going to kill yourself?" Steve blurted out.

Tony tilted his head to the side, studying Steve. "At this moment? No. Doesn't mean I won't do it in the future though. Just, Steve…" Tony hesitated when he used Steve's first name, "…just leave me be."

"And Pepper?" he asked. "Will you talk to her?"

"I don't know," replied Tony quietly before turning and walking away.

Gamora remained standing there until Tony had disappeared behind her. "I'm helping him," she said. "Respect his choices, please. He hasn't had the option of his own choices for years. This is the first time he's been given the options to choose. Don't take it away from him again."

Inclining his head, Steve nodded. "I won't."

"He's trying, that's all you can ask for," she added, and then she too, turned and walked away leaving Steve to stand in the corridor with his own thoughts plaguing him.

"I want to go out somewhere people can't recognise or hassle me," said Tony as Gamora joined him back in his quarters. "I don't know what has been revealed to the public about me yet…"

"Nothing much," answered Gamora. "Only that you have returned to Earth and are in the care of the Avengers."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Care of the Avengers? Hmm. Anyone calling for my head after what I did at Stark Industries?"

"No." She shook her head. "The people who survived that attack have already given statements you were coerced into helping and you did refuse. You've been given clemency. People are asking for more information. A group of reporters are constantly on watch outside the Facility."

"Great." Tony rolled his eyes. "I can't exactly slip out unnoticed."

A sly smile tugged at the sides of Gamora's lips. "We can actually."

"How?" His curiosity had been piqued.

Gamora reached into her pocket and pulled out a small device. It was circular with a small blue button and one red button. "This is a holo-projector. This is something we've used in the past when we've had to disguise ourselves. It's quick and efficient."

"It changes our appearance?" he asked, reaching out for hers.

She passed it to him. "Mine is set to a female disguise. I have one for you too. I took it before Peter left with the others. I thought you might want to get out of this place for a while. It will give you the anonymity you crave."

"I'd like that," he said as a slight smile crossed his face.

Tony lay on his bed on top of the covers, his arms folded behind his head, looking up at the ceiling.

He and Gamora had ventured out that afternoon, sneaking out through the back entrance to the Compound, wearing holographic devices which obscured their identity, allowing Tony and Gamora to look around town without being mugged by endless streams of reporters or curious members of the public.

He had been surprised he had enjoyed the time out among the throng of people living their everyday lives.

She had kept close to him, talking to him occasionally as he cast his eyes around, just watching as people walked past in their everyday lives.

They had eventually made their way to a park where they found a bench facing a lake. It was secluded, surrounding by bushes and offered them privacy. They hadn't talked in the time they sat looking at the lake.

Tony had closed his eyes, breathing slowly as he sought to find calm and peace in himself. He had enjoyed himself which surprised him. Just sitting there quietly in the fresh air, disguised so that no one would recognise him, had helped.

He hadn't felt so peaceful in a long while.

Reflecting back on it, Tony knew there was a part of him that wanted to keep on trying to find things he enjoyed doing. Another part of him wanted to just lay down the fight and curl up and die.

But it was moments like these, after he'd experienced a good day and wasn't feeling a heavy weight crushing his chest all the time, that he realised learning to live again was worth fighting for.

To be continued...

Please let me know what you think!

Erm, yes, Nebula is on Earth too, mainly because she wants to be with Gamora, but also she does want to make it up to Tony after everything she did to him. As of the end of this chapter, Tony has no idea he bought Nebula back and that she is staying in the same building he is in.

Steve decides he knows what is best for Tony, which isn't good because Tony puts a lot of blame on Steve's shoulders for closing the portal.

The next chapter is already written. I am hoping to post it next week but it all depends on how much I've written of the next chapter. :)

Until next time,

the-writer1988