[Prompt - Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never.]
Chapter 37
Jason was restless as usual, but tonight it was worse.
It was strange not knowing where he was supposed to be or who he was supposed to be with. Something told him – just a gut feeling mixed with voice messages from Carly – that Jake's was the last place he wanted to go, and the idea of his penthouse made him feel surprisingly empty, so he ended up walking…and walking…and finally ended up at one of Sonny's warehouses.
He knew a shipment was due, and figured that Johnny, Max, or whoever was in charge might need an extra set of hands, and he was surprised when he found Sonny standing near the loading dock all by his lonesome.
The mobster turned around when he heard Jason's footsteps, arching his eyebrows when he realized who it was. Jason shrugged, stepping up beside him. "I thought I'd see if the guys needed help tonight."
"I thought you'd be with Elizabeth," Sonny murmured, clearly trying to feel him out, and he frowned when Jason shrugged again. "Still figuring things out?"
"Something like that I guess," he admitted, not sure how to explain what exactly was going on, but something told him that Sonny already knew.
"Just be patient, don't rush it, and make sure that she knows you're there," he replied, scratching a hand over his chin. "It'll work itself out."
"Yeah," Jason nodded, confused as to what exactly was going to work itself out, but he supposed that's where the patience came in.
At the hospital, Elizabeth had made it clear that there didn't have to be a deep, convoluted connection – that they could start out simple by being friends, but Jason wasn't sure if that was possible. The line, he was learning, between friendship and something more was so thin that the slightest step over it changed everything.
When he thought about Elizabeth, he thought about how she made him feel, how sometimes it was good and others it was the worst feeling ever. He thought about all their fights and the harsh words they'd thrown at one another. And he thought about how those words led him to do things like having sex with her against the dining room wall or seeking her out in the middle of the night at her studio and wanting to sleep with her, but not being able to go through with it.
They most definitely werewere definitely not just friends.
"Did she get settled in okay?" Sonny asked, glancing over his shoulder when he heard voices behind them.
Jason looked back to see Johnny and Max coming towards them, and he was almost relieved because that meant Sonny wouldn't ask him about Elizabeth for much longer. "Yeah, she did," he replied, folding his arms over his chest. "Her apartment – it's nice. And she seems to like it there so…"
"I'm glad," he nodded, turning in the direction of the guards as they grew closer, one carrying a takeout bag from Kelly's. The diner had closed a couple hours ago, but it paid to be the owner's son. "Why don't you take off, Jason?"
"What?" His eyes shifted to Sonny's, wondering why he was being asked to leave.
"You've had a hard couple days. Go home and sleep. Or better, go check on Elizabeth," he replied, clapping him on the back. "Just take a couple days to yourself, to spend with her, to relax. Your job will be waiting."
Jason hesitated, mostly because he wasn't exactly sure where to go. Home wasn't appealing and he'd already checked on Elizabeth. "If you need me-"
"I'll call," he cut in, flashing him a dimpled smile before calling out to Johnny to hurry up with his food.
Jason glanced back over the water, turning back to the warehouse with a sigh as he slipped past the guards and his boss, who were now caught up in their dinner, and asked himself where exactly he was supposed to go.
He slipped out his cell phone as he walked through the warehouse, heading for the side that let out near the Elm Street Pier, frowning when he saw he didn't have any missed calls – well from anyone that mattered.
Frustrated, he tucked the phone back into his pocket, scolding himself for waiting around on Elizabeth to call. It wasn't like him to want to be at someone's beck and call, to want to hear their voice, and he blamed the last two days spent with her at the hospital for making him feel this way.
If anyone knew how easy it was to start depending on a person's presence in their life, it was Jason. Maybe it was the routine or the idea of having someone there, but either way he was realizing it was something he needed, especially after his accident. The doctor's had said routines were ideal for a person like him. His entire being had been shattered and he had to find himself again, and towhich do that he needed required a dependable lifestability.
Elizabeth was the first constant after his accident. Their walks, their drives through town, and their conversations about nothing at all were the first thingswhat he looked forward to. And when he pushed her away, Sonny became that person; giving him jobs and advice and always leaving his door open.
The bar became an easy filler for his nights; the constant of beer and sex with women like Carly. It was a routine he fell into without realizing it, and though it had only been broken for a few days, he worried that he'd fall back into it and ruin everything all over.
Shaking his head, he pushed through the doors and started for the pier. Sometimes he found solace in the dark of night and the sound of the water, and he was eager for that n, now more than ever.
As he approached, he sucked in a breath, surprised to see a familiar, petite form with a head full of curls doing the exact same thing.
**********
Elizabeth's pregnancy was beginning to mix up her nights and days, or maybe it was the hospital stay that had her so damn restless that she didn't know what to do with herself.
The past couple of nights had been spent sitting lying in bed, Jason at her side in a chair, the two of them not saying much at all, but it being enough to keep her calm and relaxed. It was a strange feeling to miss him, to want him close to her, or to simply know he was going to be there when she opened her eyes.
When he wasn't angry or mean, Jason had the comforting presence. He had a way of being unreasonably calm during stressful situations, and it was almost like he took away her stress and carried it for her.
Tonight, she didn't really have any stress that needed carriedcarrying. She just missed the company, and it was like she'd realized for the first time just how lonely her tiny apartment was.
After falling asleep early, she'd woken up hungry, craving greasy diner food, so she'd driven herself across town to Kelly's, eager to see a friendly face. She and Mike had talked about everything between customers, and he'd sent her on her way with half of a chocolate cake – her absolute favorite, and then she'd started to head to her studio, but ended up on the docks instead.
It was a beautiful night, the kind that Springs were made for, and she knew before she left her apartment that she wanted to paint, but after dinner and a little bit of dessert, she was tired and found herself sitting down on the bench and enjoying the silence. It was a beautiful night, the kind spring was made for, and so after dinner and a little bit of dessert, she found herself sitting down on the bench and enjoying the silence.
Only silence rarely came to her these days, and she found herself recalling her fight with Jason a few nights ago, and how she could have lost her baby on the stairs behind her, and that was when she started to cry.
At first, it was only a few tears, her stomach knotting in a familiar way asas she remembered the searing pain, the and clenching gut wrenching fear that she was going to lose her child.
Then more came when she thought about how Jason caught her, how he held her so close and promised it was going to be okay, but mostly how she called him the father and he climbed inside the ambulance.
And finally, the quiet sobs started, forcing her to feel everything she'd been shoving aside for the past couple of days. All the ugly truths she and Jason had shared in the hospital, how he'd held her hand, and never left her side, but mostly how she they committed to a friendship, which was probably the biggest lie of all.
She and Jason were never going to be just friends.
"Elizabeth?" Sucking in a breath, her head snapped up to see Jason cautiously approaching her, his eyes wide and confused. "What are you doing here?"
She stammered, trying to gather her thoughts, her cheeks flushing as she held up the Kelly's bag that had been tucked against her side. "I was hungry."
"It's the middle of the night," he sighed, easing himself down on the bench, a closeness he would have never allowed himself to have days ago.
"Pregnancy cravings," she shrugged, rubbing a hand over her face as if trying to erase the very thoughts she'd been having about him.
"It's dangerous," he reminded her, looking over her carefully as if she was hurt and not telling him.
"No worries," she muttered, opening her fist and revealing a small bottle of pepper spray. "I'm learning to take precautions."
"That's good," he replied, swallowing hard as he lifted his eyes to hers. "But you really shouldn't be out here. You just got out of the hospital."
"I'm not on bedrestbed rest," she pointed out, arching her eyebrows at him. "And you can't expect me to stay in that apartment for the next two weeks. I'll lose my mind."
"I want you to be safe – the baby too," he said, dropping his eyes to her stomach.
She smoothed a hand over her sweater, gently tapping the top of her round belly. "We are, but the baby wanted cake, and then I was tired and…"
"Elizabeth…" He sighed in annoyance, shifting his eyes out over the water. His fingers curled against the thighs of his jeans and she couldn't resist leaning over to place her hand over his, straightening it beneath hers. His eyes shot back to hers in surprise and she couldn't decide if he was angry or confused.
"I'm fine," she said softly, sucking in a breath when she realized his eyes were darkening, that he was angry with her for being out here in the middle of the night, but he was trying not to show it.
"You…Elizabeth…" Taking a deep breath, he tightened his jaw, and then relaxed it. "Just…I want to take you home."
Nodding, she grabbed her leftovers and pushed herself up from the bench. "Okay."
**********
Yawning, Elizabeth dug through her purse for her keys, dropping her cake in the process. It tumbled from the bag, the container popping open, and the cake rolleding onto the floor.
"Shit," she muttered, forcing a smile at Jason when he stooped down to pick it up. "I really wanted that."
He looked up, preparing to tell her he would get her more, but she shrugged it off before he could, finding her key and letting them inside.
She'd nearly fell fallen asleep on the drive home, and Jason was thankful that she hadn't because he wasn't sure if it would have been okay to carry her upstairs or not. And he'd already flubbed up enough for one night by offering to bring her home, only to realize he had a motorcycle – n not a car. Elizabeth laughed it off, telling him he could drive her car, and that if he didn't want to stay at her apartment, he could just bring it back to her tomorrow.
Shivering, Elizabeth smoothed her hands up and down her arms as they stepped inside, and Jason was surprised by how drafty her apartment was. It hadn't seemed like this earlier and surely it wasn't good for her to be in such a cold place.
"I left a window open," she muttered, setting her purse down on the coffee table and starting for a set of sliding doors he hadn't noticed when he was here earlier. She fussed as she pulled them open, and he started over to help her just as they parted, revealing what was on the other side of the doors.
The nursery.
"I was painting a little earlier," she explained, walking over to one of the cracked windows and pushing it down. She turned back to him with a smile that quickly faded when she realized how awkward this suddenly was. "Um…sorry."
"Don't apologize," he said, slowly stepping into the room and looking at the mostly barepale yellow walls.
A simple green border had been started at the bottom and he wondered if that was what she'd been painting. In the corner was a wooden crib and various bags were scattered across the floorpiled next to it, blankets peeking out of the top. A flimsy table was set up in the middle of the room, covered with various paint supplies.
"I wanted to paint something on the walls – some type of mural," she shrugged, wringing her hands as she looked around. "Obviously, I didn't get very far. I keep changing my mind about what I want."
Nodding, he shuffled across the floor, taking in the feel of the room, and finding found something about it so comfortable. It felt like a place where a baby should be, where it would be loved and safe once it all came together.
"What do babies like?" he asked, knowing the question sounded stupid.
"I don't know," she laughed, pulling the sleeves of her sweaters over her hands as she moseyed about the room, watching him closely. "Sometimes I want to paint a little city on the wall…or animals….or just leave it. I don't know."
"Animals are nice," he muttered, noticing the that the border near the floor looked like grass. "Like zoo animals.... Safari animals."
"Safari animals," she repeated, nodding as she looked around at the walls. "Lions, tigers, giraffes. You like Safari animals?" She laughed to herself after asking the question, her cheeks turning bright red.
"I, uh, I read a book about them a couple weeks ago," he replied, peeking out one of the windows that overlooked into the building's parking lot.
"What kind of book?" she asked, walking over to the table in the middle of the room and tossing her paint bottles and brushes back into a box.
"Travel book," he answered, tucking his hands into his pockets and leaning against the window. "About Africa."
"Are you thinking about going thereOh. Do you want to go there?" She closed the box and left it on the table, turning back to him as she rubbed her hands together, unsure of what else to do with them.
"I don't know," he shrugged, knowing that she had to realize know traveling wasn't something he could do right now. "Maybe one day. I just like travel books. I like facts, knowing things about places."
"Because they're black and white," she nodded, giving him a warm smile. "There's no gray when it comes to what is written about an African Safari, huh?"
"Exactly." He was surprised that she knew exactly what he meant, but if anyone understood the need for black and white truths, it was probably Elizabeth.
"Do you read a lot?" she asked, leaning against the other side of the window and looking up at him.
"Yeah, I guess," he shrugged, glancing away when her eyes softened as she looked at him. "Do you?"
"Not really," she replied, laughing to herself. "When I did, I read art books or the classics – Jane Austen…, Pride and Prejudice – things like that…and you have no idea what I'm talking about."
"No," he admitted, the corners his mouth curving upward as she laughed again, the blues of her eyes so soft and tender that he found it impossible not to smile at her.
Her eyes lit up as if surprised, but she didn't say why, and looked back around the room instead. "I like the Safari animals. And it can work for a girl or a boy," she murmured, gasping as she lifted a hand to her stomach.
"Are you okay?" he asked, reaching out towards her, but stopping himself from actually touching her.
"Yeah," she laughed, hesitating as she reached for his hand. She grabbed, but grabbing it anyway and pressing pressed it flatlyhis palm against the side of her belly. "I think the baby likes Safari animals too."
He took a deep breath as he felt the pattering against his palm, his fingers almost instinctively curling into her side as he thought about the baby. "Hey, it's okay," she said, letting go of his hand so that it fell back to his side.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, turning back to the window, confused as to why the baby made him feel this way. He wanted to protect it and Elizabeth, to keep them save safe and make sure they were both okay, but he was still so afraid of being close to it and hurting them both.
It was times like these when he wanted to walk away, when he knew they would be better off without him. Only hHis feet wouldn't move. His head told him to stay. His heart tightened so much in his chest that he couldn't breathe.
And then he looked over at her, watching how she rubbed her belly so gently and thought of how the baby felt against his hand, saw her eyes were tender and full of understanding, and he just knew he'd never be able to walk away.