"Stop staring at me." Ricky growled at me. I grinned, exposing my teeth. He growled again. June nudged him and sent me an admonishing look.
HaHaHaHaHa
I couldn't stop staring at Ricky now that I knew he and June had a kid. I guess I can't call him Ricky anymore when his son's name is Ricky.
"Why ya staring at him so hard anyway? Flag's no catch, doll." Boomer whined, scooting closer to me. "Me on the other hand, I'm just right for you, Princess."
"Gah! Is this what Katana had to deal with?" I shoved Boomer back from my face and he hit the back of the van. "I'm amazed she didn't sever your head from your shoulders Captain Boomerang."
"Blimey! Why the hell are you so bloody strong?!" Boomer rubbed the back of his head. June and Rick were shocked from my display of strength.
Oops. Guess I pushed him too hard.
"Quiet down back there! We don't want to get pulled over." Deadshot yelled from the front. Mama poked her head around to check on me.
"You alright Puddin Pop? That schmuck isn't bothering you is he?"
"Oh, he's fine. If Boomer gets out of hand I'll put his lights out." I assured her.
"Thatta girl!" Mama cheered before a pout worked its way onto her ace. "Now if only you'd be so bloodthirsty about that bird boy."
"Mom!" I screeched. She flinched. "Don't talk about that!"
"No! Call me Mama! You only call me Mom when you're upset. Don't be upset with me babycakes." I ignored her. Mama's bottom lip trembled. "Lucy!"
I groaned, annoyed by everyone's snickers and Mama's pleading.
"Lucia, Lucia, Lucia!" I continued ignoring her. Deadshot got fed up.
"Harley, shut up!"
She shrank back into seat. I felt bad for dismissing her. She lacked typical common sense, otherwise she wouldn't have put my romantic business on blast.
"No wonder you're being so cold to me. Some other bloke's caught your eye. What's he like, eh?" Boomer eyed me with an appraising look. I blankly gazed at him, refusing to answer.
"Actually, I'm curious what kind of boy would catch Lucy's eye." June wasn't perturbed by my withering glare.
"Not telling." I huffed.
When the hell were we going to reach our destination? This conversation took a turn in the wrong direction.
"Alright. I'll take a guess then." June hummed in thought.
"That's easy to deduce. A brat like Lucy would like someone just as bratty and equally as psychotic. And of course he'd have to be a criminal. The clowns wouldn't accept anything less." Rick stated with an air of contempt.
What a dick.
"Rick there's no need to be malicious." June chastised him.
"While that guess is fairly spot on, I'm no brat you prick." I kicked him. Rick grunted from the pain.
Damian is a brat and as psychotically destructive as me and technically he is a criminal since vigilantes operate outside the law. Rick did good with his deduction.
"Lucy! Violence is unnecessary. Can we all please be civil?" June rubbed her temples.
"Not possible, sweet cheeks. We're bad guys. We don't play nice." Boomer chuckled, causing June to scowl.
"Good to see you haven't lost perspective." Rick snorted.
The van came to a stop.
"Here's my stop. Wish me luck you guys." Mama cooed before jumping out the van and sauntering over to the doll store. Deadshot pulled off to avoid attention.
"What a drag. I wanted to trash the store too." I pouted.
Mama had one of her protective episodes and decided I shouldn't get too involved in the mission. Per her decree, I'd been designated as back-up and told to stay out of the dangerous work. Please! Like I've never been in danger before. My whole life is basically a ticking time bomb. I'm getting a piece of the action this time around.
"We don't need two clowns to draw Batman's attention." Rick pointed out as he started typing on a computer. "I got her."
We all crowded around the Colonel to view the monitor. Mama in all her harlequin glory, appeared on the screen. She was smashing up the displays and tearing the heads off dolls.
"You know where he put it, don't you?" A deep voice bellowed. Mama jumped, frightened.
"Wa-oh!" She dropped the dolls and flashed Batman an innocent smile from beneath her jester mask.
"Where is it Harley?" Batman stalked up to Mama.
"No idea what you're talking about." She started throwing dolls at him which bounced harmlessly off his chest.
"Answers now!" He towered over Mama. She socked him in the face with a doll and then withdrew a metal stick that elongated into a baton.
"Back off Bats!"
Batman threw his batarang at her. Mama leaned back, avoiding the aerial attack. She delivered a swift kick to Batman's chest before he could retaliate. The two adversaries engaged in mortal combat until Batman got ahold of Mama and slammed her into a wall.
"Whereis it?!"
"What's he talking about?" Deadshot's question came out muffled due to his mask.
"I don't know." Rick answered.
"Pfttt. Who knows what these wankers get worked up about." Boomer huffed.
"I don't know. I swear." Mama insisted to an irate Batman.
I was getting annoyed with the jerk's rough-handling of my mother. No one was allowed to put their hands on her like that without her consent.
"I'm not firing blind against the Bat." Deadshot pointedly looked at Rick. The Colonel clicked some keys on the computer, pulling up an image of Waller over the live-feed.
"Waller, what's going on? Why is Batman hounding Quinn for answers?" Rick interrogated her with minimal respect. His unruliness with a superior was out of character.
"You don't get to call me up and demand answers Flag." Waller countered with equal bite.
Hot damn! Where did this animosity come from? Flag was Waller's loyal solider last I checked. She must have screwed him over pretty badly. Probably something to do with June or his kid. Waller's got no problem targeting kids and using them as blackmail. That woman must not have any kind of family if she's okay with crossing those lines.
"What is he talking about?" Rick repeated. Mama's denials of Batman's accusations continued in the background.
Waller was silent for a minute before speaking up. "Joker stole a bomb and hid it somewhere in Gotham. Apparently it's large enough that the radiation would kill half the population. Batman's torn the city apart trying to find it. At one point he thought Riddler might know."
"The Joker has a bomb?" June reiterated with a horrified expression. "That's unbelievable!"
Judgmental looks were thrown my way by the males.
"What?! I didn't tell him to do that!" I defended myself. "Yeah, I'm crazy but a classy kind of crazy. Blowing up the world is messy business. And what if that started a zombie apocalypse or something? I'd actually lose my shit."
The others didn't dignify my comment with a response.
"Waller this is not what we discussed." Rick objected.
"I don't care Flag. Do your job." Waller deadpanned. The video call went blank and the live-feed of Mama was back in focus. Mama was on the ground with Batman looming over her.
"This remind ya of anything Batsy? I remember being in a similar situation some years ago." Mama taunted him with an ugly smile. Batman went rigid. "This is even the same store. You wanna kick me through the window again?"
Jay, my brother. My heart sped up at the thought of him. He'd be a young man now if he was alive. We'd probably be biter rivals though, fighting for the role of top villain after Papa. I'd still love him though. My brother. What could have been?
"Honestly Batsy, I don't know where Mistah J puts half his stuff." Mama had gone back to the facade of a terrified damsel and was scooting away from Batman. "I just wanted a Chatty Boo Boo Doll before they went on sale tomorrow."
I could hear sirens in the background of the live-feed. Batman hauled Mama to her feet and tossed her to the police.
"Get her back to Arkham." Batman commanded.
Rick shut off the monitor. "On to the next phase of the plan."
"Can't I do the next part? I'm bored." I raised my hand.
"No."
I smacked my lips and returned to my seat. Rick went to the front to drive and Deadshot joined him.
"There, there, lassie. Come sit on my lap and I'll cheer you up." Boomer patted his thighs invitingly.
In a flash, a long knife was pressed against his throat.
"You are one word away from losing your head." I said in the most calm manner. Boomer peacefully raised his hands in surrender.
"Lucy. Put the blade down." June instructed softly. Her hands slowly pushed down on my arm until the knife was far away from Boomer.
"Bloody hell. These nut-job chicks will be the death of me." He muttered breathlessly.
"June?"
"Yes, Lucy?"
"How did you get over here?" I asked with an air of serenity. June was thrown off.
"What do you mean? I walked over here." She replied with a confused scrunch of her bushy eyebrows.
"No you didn't. You were sitting by Boomer and when I blinked you were gone."
June froze.
"Lu's right. I didn't see you get up." Boomer added.
"I-I…you two weren't paying attention…"
I put a stop to her awful rambling. "June, did you teleport next to me?" From her whitening face, I was right. "Did you retain the Enchantress's powers?"
June's answer was interrupted by Rick's shout.
"Hold on!"
The three of us in the back cried out form the abrupt lurch of the van.
"What gives mate?!" Boomer shrieked. Deadshot and Rick disregarded him, hopping out the van.
I opened the back doors. Rick and Deadshot had subdued the police officer and were stripping him of his clothes. I could see Mama laughing her butt off in the back seat of the police car.
"This is going to be so much fun." I giggled.
Deadshot was going to take the place of the cop and transfer Mama to the asylum. They were responsible for planting the device that would hack into the system. The rest of us were splitting off into groups to break in. Rick and I were supposed to impersonate the cafeteria workers. Boomer was paired with June and had to present her as a cadaver to get them in.
"Breaking into Arkham ain't any kind of fun, kid." Rick grumbled, climbing back into the van.
"Not for you but plenty of fun for me. The nuthouse is home-sweet-home for me."
xxxxxxx
"Kitchen boy suits you Colonel." I teased Rick. The cafeteria uniform looked out of place on the stern man.
"Shut up. It's not like yours is any better. You like a moron." He fired back.
I scowled and tugged at my collar. The uniform I'd stolen from the guy passed out in the bushes, was big on me. I rolled the sleeves up multiple times and the shirt looked more like a dress. At least the hat hid my two-toned hair. June's makeup concealed my "Wicked" tattoo and bleached skin.
"Don't be so mean Rick. That's not a good trait to pass on to your son."
Rick swung around and yanked me forward by the collar. "Don't say shit about my son!"
"Geez! Calm down." I frantically whispered, prying his hand off me. A flicker of regret flashed over Rick's face. He stomped towards the employee entrance.
What the hell's his problem? Why would a simple joke like that set Rick off? Last time he was that temperamental was the Enchantress incident.
"It says not found." The guard informed Rick as the machine beeped, keeping the gate locked.
"I came from inside. Run it again." Rick demanded, slapping the id card back on the scanner.
The guard clicked something on the computer. "Nah. Something's wrong. Why don't we try the girl's?"
I stepped up and casually pressed my id on the scanner. The machine beeped negatively.
"I'm gonna have to get security." The guard said, reaching for the phone. Rick glared at him.
"Run it again!"
The guard jumped, intimidated by Rick. "I've tried it twice sir and the girl's."
I had to hold back a laugh as Rick really got into character.
"I can't lose this job because your system is down! I'm supposed to be mentoring this intern, I don't have time for your nonsense." The guard ducked his head, furiously clicking away at the computer. "Come on you amateurs." Rick cursed under his breath, no doubt aiming that curse at Mama and Deadshot. They were the ones in charge of the bug. If we were stuck then so were June and Boomer. The longer we took, the closer we were to being exposed.
"Sorry, it's an old system." The guard apologized after the machine dinged and the gate opened.
"No problem." Rick unenthusiastically mumbled.
I didn't have any trouble with my card and followed Rick to the kitchen. The employees were too busy prepping food to pay any attention to us. Rick snatched up a bin of metal utensils, marching towards a microwave. I covered him while he stuffed the microwave with the utensils and set it on a minute.
HaHaHaHaHa
These dipshits won't know what hit them! Who knew the government was so useful for breaking into places?
"Quit giggling. It's ominous." Rick hissed, maneuvering down the shaft. I accidentally kicked him. "Goddam it!" He harshly kicked a pipe, busting it open and letting out invisible gas.
We both shimmied down the shaft as fast as possible to avoid the upcoming explosion. The asylum rocked from the blast. We ran faster to the meeting point. June and Boomer were there waiting for us.
"Rick!" June raced up to Rick. He accepted her hug and checked her for injuries.
"Never took you for a necrophiliac Flag." Boomer jibed. I snorted, holding my hand out for high-five. Boomer happily slapped my hand.
"I'm not a corpse Harkness! Don't be disgusting." June corrected with nasty frown.
"Bullshit. You were as dead as a corpse. I thought old Flag was pulling my leg when he said you could actually play dead and then come out of it." Boomer sneered at June. "You're a witch all right. Even without that crazy one in ya." He then crossed his fingers over each other to make the symbol for warding off witchcraft. June wasn't amused.
"Ignore Boomer. Your witchy powers are super cool June-Bug." I shoved Boomer.
HaHaHaHaHa
June Moone basically assumed the role of the Enchantress without all the excess evil baggage. No wonder Wall-Block wanted her on the squad. With those witch powers, June is a force of nature on her own.
"You're late." Rick groused to an emerging Deadshot and Mama.
"Ran into her spouse. Damn girl caused a scene." Deadshot glared at Mama. She giggled impishly.
"You saw Papa?! That's not fair!" I whined.
"Sorry Puddin Pop. Forgive me?" Mama laid her head on my shoulder. I sighed at her puppy-dog eyes.
"I'll forgive you if you tell me what he said."
Mama brightened up, preparing to spin her tale. A guard shined a light into our hiding spot and she clamped her mouth shut.
"Hey! Nobody's supposed to be down there." The guard yelled.
"We just snuck down here for a little party." Deadshot yelled back, signaling for all of us to hide. He told Mama to distract the guard while one of us took him out.
"What kind of party?" The guard entered our hiding spot. He froze when he spotted Mama. "Crap, your Harley Quinn! Don't move, you crazy bitch!"
I stalked up behind the guard, paying no heed to the male's frantic motions for me to stand down.
"Don't call her a bitch." I kicked the guard in the legs, hearing a nasty crack come from his bones. The guard cried from the pain. A quick twist and his neck was broken.
"Oh god." June gagged.
"Grab ahold of the bars. We'll dispose of the body." Rick bent down to pull on a large latch covering the underground water system. We all grabbed ahold of the latch and pulled it up. A case floated to the surface. Rick picked the case up. Deadshot and Boomer tossed the dead body into the water. "Get your equipment." Rick disengaged the case and turned off the propellers.
"It's time to play my suicidal companions." I sang, twirling around my long knives.
The bells on Mama's jester mask jingled as she cackled and swung her bat around. Deadshot snorted, putting his mask back on and cocking his guns. Boomer threw on his trench coat and sharpened his boomerangs. June hesitantly strapped a gun onto her leg even though she didn't really need a weapon. Surprisingly enough, Rick slid an army mask onto his face.
"Look at the copycat." I taunted Rick.
"Hey man, I copyrighted this." Deadshot gestured to his mask. "I'll have to sue you if that mask becomes a regular thing."
"I can't be linked back to this." Rick justified his accessory.
"Can't have the golden son screwing up his pristine life." Deadshot badmouthed the Colonel. The two stepped forward to trade blows.
"Stop!" June separated them. "If we work together this'll be over before we know it. All this fighting isn't helping any of us get back to our lives." She looked each of us in the eye. "Please, stop fighting."
"Why should we play nice with you and Flagy when you're the one's working for that wanker. Last time we teamed up with him we all ended up right back in prison!" Boomer crossed his arms, curling his lip at the team's peace-maker.
"We don't work for her!" Rick snapped.
"Then why the hell are here if you're not? You don't have a bomb in your neck like the rest of us. Waller's not blackmailing you. I wanna know what your deal is." Deadshot's red monocle locked on Flag.
With the way Rick was acting, it makes me think that Waller might be blackmailing Rick and June…does this have something to do with their son? Could Waller have kidnapped their son like she did with me and Zoe? How many kids is she going to kidnap?
"That ain't your business." Rick pointed his gun at the hallway. "Move it, convicts."
"You heard the ass-kisser, boys. Onwards we go." Mama cartwheeled down the hallway.
HaHaHaHaHa
We're gonna light this place up! Arkham Asylum won't stand a chance against the Suicide Squad 2.0.
Go Lucy! xoxoxoxoxo