Chapter Thirty-Five: You've Grown.

Friday, February 10th 2142

12: 20 PM.

Nobody knows the troubles I've seen

Nobody knows my . . . struggles . . .

I sigh heavily, slowly enclosing my winter jacket around my small frame, cancelling out the somewhat frigid winter air and awfully painful memories this song brings back.

We're in the thick of winter now, the snow about ankle deep which I'm partly thankful for. The winter months are to an extent, best described as "trying times" for folks here in Eleven. For those that are elderly or extremely less fortunate face teeth clattering winds and bone breaking cold. A significant amount of people die from the element's alone this time of year. The winter scene also brings back the ever present horrors I've experienced just five months ago. It seems like just yesterday I was in the stockyard, being prepped for slaughter . . . The memories of those twelve days are as clear as the white below my feet.

I'm provoked by a gentle poke to my shoulder. I spin around, ready to send a fist my attacker's way. It's all second nature to me, being on my toes and what not.

A squeal that sounds all too familiar to mine causes me to let out a low sigh. I lower my defences immediately.

". . . I'm sorry Magnolia." I murmur, pulling her up. She wears the same clothing as I do, a knee length red double breasted jacked with large lapels and a black frilly bottom. It's a tradition that'll never die, the same could be said with Sage and Rose.

"Mornin' Emery." Magnolia chirps awkwardly, pulling me into an embrace in which I don't return.

She releases me as her eyes bore into mine with a sense of sadness behind them. That's all I ever seem to get anymore, people looking down at me in sorrow n' pity.

Magnolia lets out a breath, bobbling on her heels as I stare at her with a blank expression.

"Um . . . Mama wants you back home; them Capitol folks will be here soon."

Oh yeah right, my Victory Tour is scheduled to launch this week. We first kick off from District Twelve going downwards till we reach the Capitol, then to wrap it all off I celebrate here. I'm not looking forward to seeing the faces of the families of the tributes that had direct contact with me, a little tribute with absolutely no chance of survival, who somehow outlasted them all.

Yeah . . . I'd be down right peeved myself.

I nod once turning to proceed down the hill we both spend ample time on as Magnolia places an arm over my shoulder with a warm smile to accompany it, to which I somewhat return.

The District is quieter during the winter months. The houses we pass seem more empty and hollow as per the summer months. The marketplace seems busy as per usual, filled with patrons rushing to buy timber among other sources of warmth. Since school tends to let out earlier on Fridays, kids from school can be seen hurrying home as workers quietly mumble to themselves as they head off to logistic factories. Some send us warm smiles and curt nods to which we return.

"Hey Emery, hey Magnolia!" we turn our heads right as we see Lily and Julian wave in our direction. Magnolia, being engaged to Julian, pulls him into a loving embrace that almost makes my skin crawl in jealousy. Lily embraces me followed by Julian, both of which cast me concerned glances as my eyes dart off into the distance.

"So, your Victory Tour's startin' t'day. That should be neat . . . travelin' to other Districts and what not." Julian smiles as I nod curtly,

"I s'pose." I say barely a whisper. I feel their eyes boring into me as Lily cuts the tension, pressing a sack of coins into Magnolia's hand,

"My Mama told me to give you this, make sure it reaches your folks." We both nod once, continuing on our path home as our friend's wave us off.

"Good luck on the tour Emery!" shouts Lily.

We continue on our way, approaching the entrance to Victors Village where two alert Peacekeeper sentries stand guard. As they catch eye of us, both men snap a crisp salute to which Magnolia lazily returns with a giggle. As we progress through the small neighbourhood I preferred the way it was during my first four months of living here, colourful and filled with life. I guess winter just has the tendency to suck the vibrancy out of the environment and make it much more bleak and depressing.

My lips twitch into a thin smile as Sage and Rose frolic in the snow, laughing and uttering childish threats as Rose gets tackled to the ground with a squeal. Within a blink of an eye Evan is on top of Katie, shrieking as a majority of the flesh on her neck is now in Evan's mouth. Her shrieking comes to a close as he spits out excess blood and casts a glare at me, an ominous shroud of black haze covers their frames, making their features hard to read.

"EMERY!"

My head is involuntarily twisted Magnolia's way. I sink to the ground, haphazardly gripping my chest as Magnolia whispers comforting words into my ear over and over.

"Shh! Its okay Emery, you're fine! It was just a vision!"

Clutching Magnolia's shoulder I watch as my nine year old siblings gawk at me with uneasy eyes while they quickly slip inside, replaced by Vincent who rushes to my side.

"You alright kid?"

No, and I probably never will be.

I nod, getting off the ground as I nod my thanks to Magnolia who frowns in concern. The three of us enter my home, I sigh at the warm air that his my body as I hang up my jacket and neatly put my boots aside. Magnolia quickly hugs Mama proceeds to guide a curious Sage and Rose up the stairs while Vincent keeps a stern eye on me, sending a quick glance of concern towards her as she frowns slightly, nodding.

"Hey Mama," Ignoring their secretive gestures I wrap her in a warm embrace to which she eagerly returns. It feels weird to hug her now, as she no longer has that petite baby bump anymore. It's hard to picture someone as young as Mama, who's twenty seven years old, being a mother of five children. Just by looking at her form, it's hard to say she ever had any.

Clay appears from the kitchen, with a cup of coffee in hand. I gently hug him as he wraps one hand around me. He chuckles softly, bringing warmness to my heart as he pats down my hair.

"Emery! It's been a while. You never told me how much your mother resembled you so much." this earns a slap to the shoulder and a amused scowl from my mother, along with a shrug from myself. In this family you either pick up Mama's tendencies or Dad's . . . never a mixture.

Hearing a small coo we all turn our attention towards the living room where Minnie along with my mentors and prep team marvel over our newest addition to the family, Clementine, who is situated on a neat pink blanket and laughs hysterically as each adult pokes at her rib cage. She was everything I imagined her to be . . . soft and curly black hair that seems to be coming in full, grey eyes accompanied by the cutest looking dimples on both of her cheeks.

It's a blessing that I'm here to see her today.

"Isn't she just the cutest little thing you've ever laid eyes on? Yes you are!" Coos Minnie who waggles her polished index finger towards little Clementine.

Minnie gradually turns towards me, smiling as we embrace one another. She wears a blue, knee length trench coat jacket, with white buttons, gloves and other accessories. Even with five months of not seeing her, nothing has changed.

"Ah Emery! My Victor! You have such a marvelous family." she smiles towards Mama who gladly returns it.

She gives me a quick look-over. "You've grown!" she chirps, prompting me to shrug with a not so polite shrug. I guess I've hit a little spurt in my growth . . . I've grown three inches in the last two months or so if that counts as anything.

Followed by Minnie, my prep team pulls me in for one of our groups hugs that I've missed so dearly. Even though it's been a bit since we were last together they still seem to be their overly vapid selves, as seen with Clemmy.

"The cameras will be set up just outside your door for your update with Caesar within an hour or two." says Minnie.

...

After at least two hours of catching up and pleasantry over light tea, Clay and his prep team head off to work on my physical presentation. Not only did they work on me, but they worked on Mama along with my other siblings, except Clemmy, Clay spoke about "moral support" and how "visually attractive" my family is to the Capitol, whatever that means . . .

"Places everyone!"

Minnie directs us to the door, where a camera has been put in place just at the front of my steps.

"Remember! Smiles! Happy faces in three! two! one!"

She opens the door and we're hit with the opening stanza for the anthem, along with the vibrant cheers of Caesar's audience. It baffles me how advanced Capitol technology is compared to a District's. With Mama behind me, Sage and Rose at the side and Magnolia and I in the middle, we wave politely at the camera as our vibrant host cackles.

"There she is! Panem's sweetheart and youngest Victor, Emery Smithsonian and family! Boy may I say that you guys are looking absolutely fantastic this afternoon." he purrs.

We all reply with a soft "thank you".

"So! What'cha been up to Emery?" Caesar croons with a little hint of mischievousness.

"Nothin' too out of the ordinary Caesar. I'm glad I can be here to watch my baby sister grow up." the crowd aww's.

"Ah yes, baby Clementine . . . Isn't she just the cutest thing everyone!?" the crowd screams and quiets as Caesar may have calmed them down.

"I also heard your father's moving up the chain? Care to explain?"

"He was made Minister of Public Works and Senior aide to the Mayor." I state flatly as more congratulatory cheers flood my ears. Mama stepped down to take care of Clementine as Dadd- Dad took her place on top of his job as an administrator. His job has him busy at all hours of the day, which I don't particularly like.

"Well make sure to tell your father congratulations for me! Unfortunately that's all the time we have for today! We'll be watching your throughout the Victory Tour and can't wait until you come on down to the Capitol!"

As the anthem starts back up again, the crowd on the other end begin to cheer wildly while we wave goodbye. As the camera dies, my face returns to its neutral, indifferent expression. Slowly but truly I was beginning to despise people. As two limousines pull up on the nearest curb, Minnie happily announces that we "tee off for Twelve in twenty!"

My breath hitches up and my frame tightens each of my siblings give me a hug, stopping at Mama as she gently passes Clementine over towards me to which I carefully adjust her. Words can't describe how I feel every single time I stare into those beady grey eyes of hers. It's as if it were the first time seeing her, all frail and small.

Now as Penelope and I settle in and watch as my kinfolk wave us off, I can't help but wonder how things are going to go and how they'll receive me . . .

Half an hour of silence envelopes us as Penelope prods me with her shoulder, possibly noticing my tense expression as she reveals her notepad.

"It'll be okay Emery . . ." She jots down.

I stare at her, shaking my head in a so-so motion all while letting out a deep sigh.

"I sure hope so Penelope . . . I really do."

...

Vincent L'Amoureaux

9:00 PM.

After thirteen damn years of anger, guilt and desperation, we finally attain another Victor under our belts. Not the stocky fourteen year old either but the meek twelve year old, who somehow outwitted and outlasted twenty three other kids who most of which were better candidates for first place by a longshot.

Just by watching her as days go by, the kid's come a long way since then. Her usually content and warm personality is slowly diminishing to that of the boys, indifferent and standoffish. That, along with her hallucination episodes she continues to experience cause her folks along with Persephone and I to worry. These changes were to be expected, an unfortunate side-effect of winning the Games. What worries us all the most is how she's taking it, being twelve now thirteen years old, carrying a weight like this could be very . . . burdensome stuff, And it's only going to get worse as time goes on.

Here we are now, sitting around the dinner table as Min prattles on about the overall schedule we have to follow. Of course she's going to be extra vapid than usual with this being her first Victory Tour. Emery gazes intently at her plate, while Persephone continues to keep an eye her. The Avox the kid's taken a liking too sits off directly beside her.

"-That'll all come after you deliver your eulogies to the tributes, its all rather the same for every other District, really. I'm extremely delighted! My first Victory Tour!" she lets out an awkward yelp "Hopefully it all goes according to schedule!"

I roll my eyes, "It's not all that you make it to be, y'know."

Her pale face flushes pink and her eyes switch from a blue to teal. After our little . . . 'encounter' during her party, we decided to depart ways and speak only when necessary. We both needed a little 'break'and that was that.

"Don't ruin it for me Vincent!" she snaps with a stern yet lax glare, then looks off towards Emery.

"So Emery! This must be all so confusing for you, do you have any ques-tions . . .?" she trails off, causing me and Persephone to shift our eyes towards the thirteen year old.

Emery eyes are closed shut as she mutters unintelligible words under her breath and teeters back and forth in a frantic fashion. Persephone, being the kind hearted spirit she is, slowly reaches for the troubled girl only for me to stop her. If things go awry and she lashes out, I'd be the one to control her.

"Psst, kid . . . is everything alright?" slowly, I reach out and tap her shoulder. If I knew the following events would take place, I would have just left her as is.

With a screech, she leaps from the table sending plates crashing towards the ground and miniature lakes of water travelling across the dinner table. The girls let out a loud gasp as I instantly catch Emery's left hand before it sends a knife through my chest. Holding both her arms in my hands I lightly press her against the wall, wrestling the knife out of her left hand and kicking it across the room.

"You're going to hurt her!" exclaims Minnie as the three girls slowly back away from the west end of the train car.

"STOP! LET ME GO!" she hisses, closing her eyes shut as her attempts of freeing herself grow weak.

"Snap out of it Emery! You're safe y'hear!? " I repeat the last part of my sentence over and over again until she stops resisting her slowly I watch as she slowly strides backward, her eyes quickly darting towards Persephone, to Minnie, her Avox and back towards me. It makes my heart ache to see her so confused and distraught. Tears stream down her cheeks as she slowly backs away and out of sight.

"Vince-" Persephone begins.

I play her down with a nod and a raise of my hand, "I got it."

...

I find her half an hour later in the observation car curled up into a ball as her Mary Jane's are cast to the side, allowing one of her white stocking clad feet to dangle just inches off the carpet, just beside her a scrapbook. Faced away from me and towards the window, small sniffles could be heard as I carefully took my seat beside her.

"Hey kid, what a night huh?" I let out a deep sigh, as I hesitantly caress her back. Being affectionate isn't my strong suit, but that doesn't seem to bother Emery as she suddenly softens.

"I-I s'pose so . . ." she says barely a whisper.

"I've been in your shoes once before and . . ." my voice drags out as I glance at scrapbook, picking it up.

All I could muster was an uneasy "Umm . . ." as I skim though her highly talented artwork. One perfectly depicts the boy from District One, ornery and posh. The gutsy male and female from Four along with the odd female from Five are also depicted along with others. The way they were painted looked as if they could be made into postage stamps.

"There are sixty-six other folks who feel your pain . . ."

My heart shoots up to my throat as I spot a portrait of the boy in his interview garments, his eyes downcast and his arms folded. The painting lacks 'realistic' detail, but still punches above its weight like the others. Just glancing at it reminds me that although I brought one home, the other stays.

"Its better that way," Emery drones in a monotone.

"Excuse me?" I glance at her to find her face still facing away from mine.

"I didn't wanna paint the eyes of a dead friend . . .".

"Ki-" I retract my sentence, "Emery, look at me." she slowly cranes her head towards mine. "It's okay to speak up and talk about how you feel y'know?"

My eyebrows arch up and quickly return to its normal state as Emery raises her notebook into the air and slamming it hard on the sofa.

"I didn't ask for this! None of it!" she screeches, her eyes tremble with anger as I muster up a retort but decide to let her vent.

"Why can't I be a normal girl again? Why can't he be back?" sobs wrack her porcelain like frame as I lightly turn her body in my direction, gripping her shoulders.

"Emery, those days are unfortunately over. Things are different now and will continue to be for the rest of your life. You're a Victor now, everything you do will be under a microscope and there's nothing you can do about it. As for the boy . . . he cared for you, believe me. The best thing you can do for him is live for the both of you."

A moment of silence washes over the observation car as Emery crashes into my shoulder. While her tears soak the whole left of my suit jacket, my outstretched arms slowly but surely, envelope her into a comforting hug.

Ta-da! I think I did well here...Thank you for reading those of you reading this! And thanks for those who followed/Favorited this story recently :D, it means a lot!

Up next . . . District Five! In which one of the people Emery encounters will be in my next installment! I wonder who...