These characters are under copyright by Hajime Isayama and/or Kodansha Comics or others. This is a work of fanfiction, for no monetary gain.
A/N:
Finnish translation:kultaseni = sweetheartpikkuveli = baby brother
Chapter 38 – Rationale and Regrouping
Jean fought to stand, but he was literally too exhausted to move, and he wasn't the only one. If it wasn't for the Titan shifters, they'd all be dead.
He watched, numbly, as the Armored Titan punched the back of the neck out of the last Titan left standing, and then looked around for another opponent, seeming puzzled when he didn't find one.
"I think that's the last one," Krista called out.
Ymir Titan vanished in a cloud of steam and a moment later Ymir used her maneuver gear to jet up to the rooftop Krista was standing on. She apparently didn't need anyone to cut her out of her Titan form. "We need to be sure. Now that Reiner and Bertolt sealed the Gates, we'll be safe here, but not if there are Titans lurking around that we don't know about. We need to search the City."
Holy shit. Ymir remembers what happens when she's in Titan form! She just responded to what Krista said before she shifted back, and she remembered them sealing the Gates. Is it only her, or does that mean Reiner and Bertolt actually remember destroying the Wall, killing all those people?
"I'll do it," Marcel piped up unexpectedly.
"No," Ymir and Bertolt refused simultaneously.
"I'm the only one who can. Bertie hasn't recovered from his shift long enough to move yet, and you and Reiner are nearly as done in as the rest of them. Even if there are one or two Titans left, they'll never be able to catch me, you know that," Marcel insisted.
"I'm not letting you leave my sight," Bertolt insisted, the look of growing panic on his face painful to see.
"I have to, Bertie. I haven't done anything to help so far, but I feel strong enough to shift now, and everything's my fault," Marcel argued quietly.
Jean hadn't even seen Reiner shift back, but suddenly he was striding in human form across the roof towards Marcel, who stiffened bravely. But Reiner embraced him, smothering him in a bear hug. "You stupid kid, scaring us like that. We thought you were dead," he accused.
"I'm sorry," Marcel whispered, and then Reiner's shoulders were shaking, and Jean realized he was crying, that Reiner Braun, a Titan shifter and the toughest of all of them in the 104th, was crying.
Marcel patted him awkwardly on the back, and started shaking too, and Jean realized he was sobbing. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, for everything. It was my fault, it was all my fault," he apologized, over and over.
Bertolt stood then, shaking and swaying, he staggered over to them and embraced them both.
"It's not your fault. You didn't ask to be captured, to be used and nearly exsanguinated by that bastard doctor," Ymir said angrily, glaring at the rest of them, as if they were responsible.
"Ymir, it's not their fault, what Dr. Yeager did," Krista soothed.
Then Marcel pushed away from them, wiping the tears from his face. "I couldn't believe it, when I realized this was Shiganshina. I… Do you know if they survived? The Yeagers? Grisha and Carla? I saw Mikasa and Eren earlier, I know they… Wait. Where are they? Eren and Mikasa?" he asked belatedly, his brow creased in concern, and Jean and the others winced and cringed.
"Who the fuck cares? Why the hell should you, after what Yeager did to you?" Reiner demanded angrily.
"How can you say that? If it wasn't for Grisha, I… only it didn't work, did it? We were too late. Everyone shifted, didn't they, and the Garrison didn't understand and they destroyed the City, trying to destroy them? Please tell me we at least quarantined the City in time, that none of the rest who were infected got out to spread it? No, you were sealing both Gates. Oh God. They got out, didn't they? They breached the Gates," he said, horrified.
"Marcel, kultaseni, what are you talking about? It sounds like at first you might have been working voluntarily with Dr. Yeager, but you're confused, honey. There was a plague, but it wasn't the Cronos Virus. Yeager somehow found out you were a shifter, that your blood might be a cure, he imprisoned you, he apparently bled you dry. None of that's your fault, sweetie," Ymir soothed.
"Damn it, Ymir, stop talking to me like I'm some kind of child! I know what I did! The rest of you have no idea what happened, or you wouldn't be looking at me like that. You'd hate me. I hate me. Look at this City! How many thousands died, because of me?" Marcel cried, his voice full of anguish.
"It's not your fault, Marcel. When you disappeared, we didn't believe you, of all of us, could be caught, imprisoned. We were sure you were dead. That's why, when Annie issued the order, we didn't refuse it. We thought they'd attacked us, killed a fifth of the shifters. So we retaliated. We breached Wall Maria and a third of humanity died," Bertolt admitted solemnly, looking mournful, ashamed.
Marcel's eyes widened, and he shook his head, horrifed. "No. No, you couldn't have. Please tell me you didn't... You did this? You're the ones who destroyed Shiganshina, not...? And if both Gates were gone, not just here but... Oh God. Oh my God. I killed them. I turned you into murderers, and I killed them." He collapsed onto the roof,fisting his hair, shaking his head in horror.
Bertolt and Reiner were immediatly at his side. "Marcel, it's not your fault. It was Yeager's for imprisoning you and experimenting on you. It was our mistake for following Annie's order. It wasn't yours. You were the only one of us who's innocent, you and Ymir. You are the victim," Reiner reasoned.
"Oh God. You really don't know. You don't understand. I didn't at first, either, not until it was almost too late. I went over the Wall easily, infiltrated into the City, just like we planned. I... it was surrreal. So many people, walking, talking, laughing. Being in a city again, after it just being the five of us and the dogs, for over a century. It was too much at first, the voices, the faces. I found an inn, the Foaming Stein, rented a room using the silver you gave me, and just hid there, for the first few days, slowly reacclimating myself, first to the innkeeper's family, and then to the patrons.
"It struck so suddenly. One minute, everyone was healthy, just quiet little coughs, here and there, and the next, overnight, they were all sick, burning with fever. I was the only one who wasn't ill. They could barely move or speak, they were delirious, the innkeeper and his wife, their daughters the barmaids, the guests, everyone. There was no way for me to tend to them all. So I went looking for a doctor. The people I spoke to directed me to Dr. Yeager's house. They said he was the best doctor in the City.
"His wife, Carla, was the one who answered the door. When I explained she was so concerned. She said her husband, Grisha, was out, that there was a new, very virulent illness that had struck the south side of the City, it sounded just like what I'd seen. People were afflicted with a high fever, they could barely speak or move, it left them completely helpless, but so far it had been just a few cases, here and there, a butcher and his family, a baker and his wife, a cheesemaker. And others' whom her husband thought might have been their customers. She wondered whether that's how the inn got it, and she was worried her husband might get sick too, in spite of the precautions he was taking. She said he wore gloves and a special mask, that he was careful to wash his hands. She invited me in to wait, and fed me lunch.
"When Grisha came home, the look on his face, as he stood in the doorway… Carla ran to him, to hug him, but he told her to stay away, that he was afraid he might be contagious, his clothes, his breath. Eighteen of his twenty patients were dead, and the other two didn't look like they'd last the night. And there were over four dozen new cases, all on the south side of the city, but he was afraid there might be a number of others he hadn't heard of, that at the rate it was spreading, the whole City could become infected. He said he'd spoken with the Mayor, trying to get him to quarantine the City, but the man instead looked like he planned to flee.
"So Grisha went to the Garrison, and tried to get them to seal the Inner Gate, to contain it, but they'd just laughed at him and sent him on his way. But this Garrison soldier, named Hannes, had overheard, he called him over, asked him some questions, and then brought him to his Commander. Thankfully, the Commander listened. He declared Martial Law, and ordered the Gate sealed, and sent messenger birds to the Garrison bases in Chlorba, Trost, Karanese, Yalkell, Hermina and Stohess, advising them of the situation, and what he'd done.
"'What about Eren and Mikasa?'Carla asked, and the look Grisha gave her was so lost and afraid.
"'They have to stay here. I can't risk the lives of every child inside the Walls, just to try to save my own,' he said.
"That was when I knew I could trust him with my secret. That's when I knew what I had to do. Because I'd realized it was my fault. It wasn't just a coincidence that everyone in the inn was sick, and all the businesses that supported it. That's when I realized I must be the carrier," Marcel said sepulchrally.
Jean's eyes widened in shock, and he saw everyone else's, including Marcel's friends and family do the same. No one had realized that was what he meant, when he said it was his fault.
"Remember, these people were sealed behind the Wall to keep them safe from the Titan Plague, the Cronos Virus. And you know we all run far hotter than normal humans. A high fever was never part of the early symptoms after injection for us, but this a virus that mutates at an alarming rate, that's turned completely unpredictable. I realized I could be some sort of human carrier, a Typhoid Mary, feeling fine but spreading disease and death wherever I went. So I told Dr. Yeager the truth, who and what I was, and that my blood might hold the cure. We went back to the inn but… but everyone there was dead. Everyone. Then I went home with him, and we went down into his basement laboratory, and I let him run tests on me, comparing my blood samples to those he'd taken of the infected people. And I was right.
"Carla tried to come in that night, to bring us dinner, but we couldn't risk it, we wouldn't let her in; it was bad enough she'd already spent so much time with me, before Grisha came home. She told us she'd sent over six dozen people away who'd been looking for him, that the disease was spreading like wildfire. People were panicking, demanding to be let out of the City. They'd discovered the Inner Gate was sealed, but the military assured them they were working on a cure. Mr. Hannes had come by, but she'd told him Grisha couldn't be disturbed, that he was running delicate experiments.
"We spent the next day isolating the virus, the antibodies in my blood, trying to develop a cure. That's when Carla started pounding on the door. We tried to send her away, but she yelled that Eren and Mikasa were both sick, they had high fevers, and she was afraid they'd caught it, that Mr. Hannes from the Garrison had carried them both home. And Hannes was starting to show symptoms too.
"The look on Grisha's face… We didn't have a cure yet, we were kilometers away from developing one, but he opened the door for his wife. And that's when we saw Carla was sick too. There was a look of relief on her face, and then she just collapsed into Grisha's arms. He carried her upstairs, to the house, and we found the children, completely delirious. We knew from the other cases that they'd be dead within 48 hours, unless we finished the cure in time.
"There wasn't time. Grisha knew it wasn't ready, when he injected Eren. He was hoping that by injecting the unrefined cure into Eren, he might survive, and we could study his antibodies, and use a combination of our cells to cure everyone else.
"I told Grisha to go ahead, to drain me dry if he had to, but just save everyone. But first, I had him let me write a letter, to explain everything to you all, so you'd understand, so when you came looking for me, you'd hear what happened, and not blame Grisha or the others. And then… that's all I remember. The next thing I knew, Ymir was standing over me, asking me if I was awake and aware, if I could hear and understand her, and telling me I was safe and free."
"God forgive us," Ymir said piously.
"Tch. God fucking abandoned all of us a long time ago, Ymir," Reiner said bitterly. "Besides, it's not like you took part in what we did. You refused, remember? You insisted there might be a valid reason communications stopped, that Marcel disappeared. You told us he could be prisoner somewhere, that you refused to believe he was dead."
Reiner turned to Marcel. "You infiltrated Shiganshina on Annie's orders, and we were all in agreement that we needed to act. The rest of us are all equally responsible for what happened."
Reiner spun to face Erwin. "So now that you know, Commander Erwin, what's your next move? You want to collect a pound of flesh from each of us? Chop us to pieces? Truss us up and send us to the King with neat little bows around our necks?" Reiner challenged.
"A few of you mentioned a Pact that you'd thought we'd broken. Is there someone within the Walls who is actually aware of the terms and stipulations of that Pact?" Erwin countered.
"Yeah. The King, and his minions. The deal was they maintain communications with the other Sanctuaries, we protect this Sanctuary from the Titans, thin the Titan horde as much as we could, make sure the Walls stayed intact, and in turn, they were supposed to be working on a way to eradicate the Titans wholesale, so they could eventually open the Gates. But from what I've seen these past five years, since we infiltrated, the King doesn't give a rat's ass about anything except protecting his petty little position of power. When we gave that fucker an ultimatum, to find Marcel or we'd take down Wall Rose too, and he failed to produce him, we attacked Trost, just like we warned him we would.
"But then, Eren changed into a Titan, and suddenly, all bets were off. We realized the King might not know where Marcel was, but someone did. Eren did. That's when we decided to capture him, as Titans, so you wouldn't know it was us, so we could interrogate him, without the rest of you interfering. But instead of us catching Eren, you caught Annie, though that didn't work out too well for you.
"After that… Annie hadn't been exactly sane, since Marcel disappeared, but she hadn't been totally… No, she was. We never should have followed her order to attack Wall Maria, but Bertie and I honestly were in so much pain at that point, we didn't give a fuck. No, that's not true. We wanted everyone else to hurt just as bad as we did," Reiner admitted.
"So it looks like all of us get to burn in hell for what we've done. Except Marcel. He might have unintentionally started the plague, but he tried to give his life to end it. I don't care what you do to me, but you're letting Bertie and Marcel walk out of here. You need a scapegoat, you've got one," Reiner said fiercely.
"No! You're not sacrificing yourself for us!" Marcel denied, springing to his side.
"That's what big brothers do, Marcie. Now be a good little girl and run off to your husband," Reiner taunted. "The two of you deserve to be happy," he added, sincerity replacing the acid in his voice.
"No! You're not dying for us! How can you possibly think we'd ever be happy, knowing that? After what we've all done, none of us deserves happiness, but neither does mankind. They're just as guilty as we are. But if we're all dead, there won't be anyone left to fix our mistakes. Stop talking about dying. There's been more than enough death," Marcel implored.
"Tch. Baby brothers, thinking they have all the answers. You're one lucky guy, Bertie," Reiner acknowledged. Then he turned to Erwin. "Sorry, Commander. Guess you don't get to string me up by my thumbs after all. So what now?"
"Now you come with us. You help us free Blouse, assuming she's still alive, we try to find Bauer on the way, and then we go after Levi, Yeager, and Arlert, and bring back what we found in the basement. You help us analyze it, and then we decide together how best to proceed, including the best course of action to take with Leonhart," Erwin said emotionlessly.
"Yeah, Sasha's still alive. What do you think we are, monsters?" Reiner prodded.
"You tortured Randall to death. If you've hurt Sasha, I'll kill you," Connie snarled.
"What?" Marcel asked, shocked.
"Shit. Who'd have thought that of all the soldiers I've killed over the years, all the interrogations in the field during the War, he's the one who'd haunt me? Looks like maybe Annie and I are going to have to pay the piper after all. But I didn't lay a hand on Sasha. Bertie had to knock her out and I scared the crap out of her, to keep her in line, but Jesus, Connie, do you really think I go around hurting little girls? For fuck's sake, my codename is White Knight. I'm a freaking paladin, I always have been. Just ask anyone," Reiner claimed.
"What about those Titan dogs. What if…?" Connie challenged.
"What, you think they go around eating people? Christ kid, first rule is, you're a shifter, you eat a human, we kill you. Doesn't matter if you're a dog or a human. Hans and Otto never ate anyone in their lives," Reiner defended.
"They sure as fuck looked like they wanted to eat me," Connie argued.
"Well yeah, they're scary looking fuckers. That's what attack dogs do: they attack, bite if they have to, subdue and hold, until we swoop in and capture whoever they catch. They would have bashed you up a bit, probably broken a few bones, maybe chewed on you a little, maybe even bitten off a piece here or there, but they wouldn't have eaten you," Reiner argued.
"Reiner, you're not helping. Really, Connie, they're well trained. They wouldn't have injured you too badly," Bertolt assured him.
"Good. Then we gather up the crates and our supplies, find Bauer and rescue Blouse, and then go after Levi, Yeager and Arlert," Erwin reiterated.
"First I need to search the City for remaining Titans. The last thing we need is to be ambushed," Marcel argued.
"Are you sure you're up to it?" Bertolt asked solicitously.
"I'll be fine," Marcel assured him, with a quick kiss. Then, instead of diving off the roof like Ymir, Marcel climbed carefully down to the street.
"Bring back some clothes, too, OK? I don't like everyone seeing you naked," Bertolt complained, loud enough for Jean and the others to hear.
Marcel smiled, his whole face lighting up. "Sure," he said. Then there was a flash, and a Titan stood in his place. He reminded Jean of a picture he'd seen of an ancient statue, Michelangelo's David, except made of bronze. Every muscle and limb was in perfect proportion, thankfully covered in skin, and by an odd yellow sheen, as if his body was coated in warm honey. He crouched down, as if a runner taking position, and then suddenly he was off, skating down the street as if it was made of ice, the speed and agility with which he was moving incredible.
"God, he's beautiful. I never thought I'd see that again," Ymir said reverently.
Jean watched, stunned, as he crisscrossed the City back and forth, up and down the streets at remarkable speed, occasionally jumping over obstacles. "How does…?" Jean asked.
"That golden substance his skin excretes is a type of oil. It coats him everywhere, even the soles of his feet, but he can selectively stop it, so he can create friction to kick off and gain speed or turn, but then become nearly frictionless. We call him Quicksilver, because it's like watching mercury slide down a tabletop, and catching him is next to impossible. He can slip out of any Titan's grasp," she boasted as proudly as if he was her son.
As if to prove the point, when a hidden Titan tried to tackle him, Ymir, Reiner and Bertolt tensed, but in the next instant, Quicksilver Titan had already taken it down, as evidenced by the rapidly growing cloud of steam left in his wake.
Quicksilver Titan searched the whole City, stopping at the Depot, where apparently, Hans and Otto recognized his scent, from the tumult of barking.
"Well that probably scared the crap out of Sasha," Connie complained.
Then Quicksilver Titan vanished.
"What the hell?" Reiner demanded anxiously.
"Relax, Reiner. Knowing Sasha and Marcel, Sasha probably called out to him, he heard her, reassured her, and is telling her that her friends are all safe, and he'll bring her to them, if she promises not to attack him, the dogs, and us," Ymir assured him, though she was watching intently.
A few anxious minutes later, in a chartreuse flash of light, Quicksilver Titan reappeared. He bent down for a moment and then continued his search.
When he returned to them a short while later, after finishing covering the entire City, both his hands were closed into fists.
He crouched down and opened his left hand onto the street. Two standard sized normal looking German shepherds bounded out of his left hand, then stood at attention, gazes riveted on Reiner, Bertolt and Ymir. The three of them quickly climbed down to join Marcel's Titan form and the dogs. There was a sharp whistle, and the two dogs bounded eagerly over to Ymir, even as Quicksilver Titan's right hand opened, revealing Sasha, curled into a ball, hugging a large gas canister, beside two large backpacks.
"Sasha!" Connie and Jean cried in relief, using grapples and gas to swing down off the roof, and then running over to her.
Erwin, Kearney and O'Seanessey joined them.
"Connie! Jean! Thank God! I've been going crazy, worrying!" she said, laying down the canister so she could hug Connie instead.
Quicksilver Titan disappeared in a burst of steam, leaving Marcel standing in its wake, just as Ymir had transformed, a much faster and cleaner method of returning to human size than Eren had ever shown, and without needing to be cut free.
Jean felt his stomach lurch. Eren. Shit. Even if we still wanted to let him live, they said they kill any Titan who eats humans. Belatedly, he realized Marcel was now wearing a Survey Corps uniform, though not maneuver gear or scabbards.
"I couldn't leave Hans and Otto there after they recognized me, and then I heard Scout Blouse calling out, anxious to be freed," Marcel explained. "I found your pack, Reiner, and dressed in your spare clothes, along with some Garrison boots I scavenged, and then I followed her voice."
He scowled at Reiner, accusingly. "She thought I was you at first, when I approached, and for some reason that terrified her. She started screaming for Bertolt, as if she thought he'd protect her, although she looked quite fierce too, as if she was ready to take me on, on her own, even bound so securely, and I suspected she might be able to inflict a considerable amount of damage.
"Once I calmed her down, assured her of my benign intentions and explained who I was, she allowed me to get near enough to free her. She insisted on bringing the canister with her, and once she explained what it was and why it was so important, I figured that in addition to being a gesture of goodwill, it made sense and would save us a trip, unless there's anything else you needed from the Depot. I brought both packs, so unless there was something else hidden in that building, we shouldn't need to go back there."
"No, you did good, kid," Reiner agreed, not answering any of Marcel's unasked questions, the same ones Jean was having.
Just what the hell did Reiner do to Sasha to make her so afraid of him, but not Bertolt, when he was the one who hit her?
"I'm sorry I kidnapped you. We were desperate," Bertolt apologized to Sasha, looking at her guiltily.
"And I'm sorry I scared you. I wouldn't really have hurt you like that, Sasha. I was just trying to intimidate you so you'd cooperate and wouldn't cause trouble," Reiner apologized, sounding sincere and even a little sheepish.
"Like what? What did he say he was going to do to you?" Connie demanded, glaring at Reiner.
"Nothing important. And he and Bertolt didn't hurt me," Sasha quickly assured Connie, standing between him and Reiner, obviously trying to keep the peace.
"Now that we have you back safely, Blouse, it's time to go after the others. Springer and Kirstein can fill you in on everything you've missed," Erwin stated.
Sasha was shocked and devastated, when she heard both Hange and Mikasa were dead, that Yeager Titan had taken Armin, after killing Mikasa, and Levi had gone AWOL after the two of them, in the middle of the battle.
Kearney and O'Seanessey were dismayed, when they saw Yeager's house, until they learned everything had been moved to safety.
They retrieved everything from the store where it was hidden, adding some preserved food to their supplies for the return journey, especially since they were going to attempt to retrieve the others, and there was no telling how far they'd need to travel.
Then they set out, Hans and Otto both tracking Bauer from the scent on the spare clothes they dug out of his pack. Once they found him, or whatever pieces of him might be left, they'd head to the Inner Gate, with the dogs tracking Levi's and Eren's scents instead. Jean dreaded what they'd find.