Hey everyone! Thanks for the awesome reviews. So here is the Jacob drama you have all been waiting for! FYI the baby isn't that far away. Not just yet but don't worry. She's just as anxious to meet you all as you are to meet her. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy! Oh, yeah, and don't forget to leave a review. They are much appreciated.
Chapter of Thirty-Six
What's in a Name?
Painting was so relaxing. It filled Bella with joy that she was getting to do something she loved that was also productive. Currently she was panting a cherry blossom tree on one of the walls in the baby's room. Sitting at the foot of the tree was a little girl with brown hair reading a book. It was mid afternoon and Carlisle was going to pick up Nathan. She stepped back from her work and took a look at it. She couldn't help but smile. She really hoped that her little girl would love it.
"Mom, mail for you!" Rosalie called.
Bella put her brush down on the tarp and went downstairs. When she took the package from Rosalie Alice rushed out of the room and yelled.
"Mom, don't open that! You don't need the stress that it will bring. My vision is really blurry about what happens which can only mean it involves the wolves. All I can make out is that you get really upset and stress is so not good for the baby."
Bella sighed and looked to see who the package was from. To her surprise it was from Jacob. She sighed and went to sit on the couch.
Bella opened the package carefully only to gasp in horror when she saw what it was. She took the note out that peeked from the inside of the cover.
Dear Bella,
I know you're angry right now. I'm sorry. I tricked you when I should have obeyed your wishes. But I didn't. This doesn't belong to me and so I guess I should give it to you. You can destroy it for good now just like it should have been all those years ago.
Jacob.
Bella put the book on the table and began to tremble. The note fell from her hands and she gasped for air. Her head collapsed in her hands and she cursed under her breath. Flashes of that terrible night ran through her mind.
Fire flickered out of the corner of her eye. Laughter as sick as its creator echoed through the forest. She bent down and grabbed a rock off the forest floor.
"Show yourself!" She screeched.
The laughter only continued but it mocked her pain. She stumbled farther into the woods away from the fire. She didn't remember a fire being built recently. It had just suddenly appeared. Then she heard the snapping of a branch. She looked down and there wasn't a branch in sight. She froze when the air became thick and cold.
"Hello?" She tried to be strong but her voice showed her fear.
The next thing she knew she was on the ground and she felt the rock point repeatedly scratching against her skin. Something was clawing at her and breaking her bones. Her side was pierced, her face was bleeding, and her arms were drenched with blood. The manic laughter continued. Bella screamed in pain. Suddenly she felt glass smash against her skull. The voice whispered to her but she couldn't make out the words. Everything was hazy. The blood ran into her eyes and she cried. She wanted Carlisle to come and find her. She wanted him to hold her close and fix her. She wanted him to love her.
Suddenly the voice was gone but she knew its owner wasn't dead. She never knew who her torturer was. Then she heard the pounding of footsteps.
"What the fuck happened?" Sam asked.
"How did she get all the way down here? How did this happen?" Jake asked.
"Do you think she rolled down the hill and got beaten up by the rocks?" Seth asked as Jake and Sam picked Bella up.
"I think she tried to hurt herself. Look at the way she's gripping that rock and look at the cuts on her arms." Jake didn't want to believe his own words.
"Are you stupid?" Leah hissed. "Look at all of her injuries. She wouldn't have gone to that extent to feel pain."
"She cliff dives. I've always feared she was trying to kill herself. You know we have to stop her when she's drunk." Quill spoke up.
"No. She was attacked. She couldn't have done this to herself." Embry declared.
"He's not coming, Jakey. He's not coming." Bella whimpered as she began to cry.
"Who, Bells?" Sam asked earnestly.
His heart broke for her. She couldn't bring herself to say his name. She wanted to feel Carlisle's arms around her. She wanted to wake up and this all be a horrible dream. She wanted to find herself lying in Carlisle's office and see him waiting for her to wake. She wanted to see his smile. But she knew this was real. She knew they weren't coming back. If he had wanted her he would have stayed for her. He would have found some way to be with her. He wouldn't have moved away because Edward wanted them to. He didn't love her even though she was madly in love with him. Never again would she see his beautiful face. Never again would she hear his musical laughter. Never again would she feel his arms around her.
"I will never love again." She whispered.
Then everything went black as she slipped into peaceful unconsciousness.
Carlisle and Nathan walked through the door but Bella didn't hear them. Carlisle felt her pain instantly and ran to her side.
"Love, Isabella, what's wrong?" He pleaded her as he wrapped her in his arms.
She shook her head and groaned.
"I need to go to Forks. I need to talk to Jacob."
She shot up off the couch but Carlisle grabbed her and stopped her from running.
"Wait, Love. We need to talk this out." He begged her.
"I need to face him. I need to know why he betrayed me and kept this against my wishes."
"Isabella, Love. Please, what is in that book?"
"When you left, as you know, I fell into a terrible depression and did stupid things. Remember when we said we would be honest with one another? I told you nearly everything but I tried to tell you that one thing and I broke down in tears because I couldn't bring myself to voice what happened."
Carlisle nodded and held her close to him.
"Well that's what this is about."
Carlisle took her hand.
"I'll go with you." Carlisle murmured and kissed Bella's temple.
"I'll stay home and watch Nathan." Tanya murmured.
Carlisle nodded.
"Rose, Olivia, and I will stay, too. The boys need to go with you." Alice spoke up.
Bella took off and the boys went after her. She ran faster than she ever had in her life. She was fighting tears as she ran. Carlisle was a few paces behind her. The boys were a few steps behind him. They ran for what felt like days even though it was a few hours. Bella stopped at the treaty line. Wolves came out who were on patrol. Bella recognized Sam and Seth.
"I need to see, Jacob." She tried to hold herself together.
"Sam wants to know what's going on." Edward translated for the wolf.
"Remember the night you all brought me to the hospital?" Bella asked.
Sam and Seth both nodded.
"Remember the book I burned?"
They nodded again.
"Jake just sent me the book. I had given it to him to hold onto until the night of the burning because I couldn't stand to look at it. He tricked me and somehow the one I burnt wasn't the real one. I got a package from him today with the book and a note from him."
"Seth says, well that's why Jake has been acting so weird lately and that's why Leah has been acting like she knows something but wouldn't tell."
Bella whimpered. Carlisle wrapped his arms around her.
"Love, I'm so sorry." Carlisle whispered and turned her around to face him. He leaned his forehead against hers. "I'm so sorry all this happened."
The wolves left to go get the others. He rubbed soothing circles on her back and tried to calm her down while the other boys stood guard.
When the wolves came back they phased to human form behind the trees and dressed. They came out to meet the vampires.
"Bella." Jake's voice cracked when he saw the state she was in. "I'm so sorry."
"Sorry." She snapped. "God, Jake what were you thinking? This is so not good for me right now. I don't need this stress. Not with a baby on the way. I didn't want to have to deal with this but the feeling won't fade. The anger won't go away on its own."
"Baby?" Sam asked.
"Yes, by a miracle I'm with child." Bella replied as she rubbed her swollen belly.
"I kept it because I wanted to remind you someday if you went back to the Cullens of what they made you feel I wanted to remind you of how they led you to hurting yourself. You nearly died!" Jacob growled.
"I didn't hurt myself! I was attacked, Jake. I never saw my tormentor. I only heard her laughter. I wanted to go for a walk to get my mind off things because I wanted to get better because I knew I was in a bad place!"
"Shit, Bells. How was I suppose to know you were being truthful about that. I thought that you were scared to face the truth because you had been so reckless before then."
"You were suppose to believe me like a good friend. I trusted you to hold onto that book and then give it to me when I wanted to change my life and get better. God Jake, have you read it?"
Shamefully he replied.
"Yes."
She put her hand to her womb when she felt it painfully kick.
"She's scared." Edward murmured.
"I'm sorry for scaring you, Angel. I didn't mean to. Mommy is just really upset right now. Please don't be afraid. No one is going to hurt you." Bella whispered as she rubbed her belly.
"She's not afraid of getting hurt. She's afraid of someone hurting you or Carlisle." Edward clarified.
"Oh, Sweetie, no one is going to hurt your mommy and I or any of your family." Carlisle tried to soothe their troubled unborn child.
"I trusted you." Bella hissed.
"I'm so sorry." Jake howled in pain and Leah looked shamefully down at the ground.
"I didn't know until recently, Bella. I thought about calling and telling you but I didn't want you to be mad at me." Leah whimpered.
"I'm not mad at you, Leah. I not mad at anyone of you but Jake who betrayed me."
"Bella, what really happened that night?" Embry asked.
And so Bella told them. Carlisle held her as she trembled.
"I have a little boy at home who is worried sick about me. All it took was one glance to know how upset he was. Nathan shouldn't have to be going through this. And my little angel, my unborn child, she suffers from my stress. Why now Jake?"
"Geez, I didn't know you were having a baby!"
"I told you that day in the hospital that I wanted to get better and you knew the day we were suppose to burn it that I was getting better. Did you not believe in my truly getting better? Are you that faithless when it comes to me? I've gone through my life thinking it was dead and buried but only to find it in my lap years later. How did you expect me to react, Jake? Did you think I would just accept it and go on without being upset? Did you think I would smile and laugh? No, you didn't think. When you kept this you thought it was your role to decide what was best for me. You thought you would remind me of what I went through when you thought I needed it. Like I could forget how I suffered! Like I could forget the idiotic mistakes I made! You can't play with peoples like that, Jacob! You can't-"
She stopped dead and her eyes went black. Her baby was terrified. It wanted to hurt Jake.
"No, Baby. Don't try and get out. You're too small. I'm upset but it's not worth the risk, Baby. Please calm down." She pleaded. Then she turned to Carlisle. "I need blood." She whimpered.
He took her hand and led her into the forest. He grabbed a deer and broke its neck. She took it from him when he handed it to her and she tore into its neck. She drank greedily and he held her and stroked her back as she did so. He needed to her to be ok. He needed to make sure the baby was ok.
When she finished drinking she curled up in Carlisle's arms after he buried the carcass. He held her close to him and peppered her face with kisses.
"I love you so much, Isabella. You are such a strong and brave woman. You have every right to be angry with Jake. I feel your guilt but you have nothing to feel guilty about. I'm not mad that you didn't tell me before. I understand that all of this is very hard for you to talk about. I appreciate it that you did tell us all what happened that night. You are the most amazing woman I have ever known and never cease to amaze me. I'm here for you and I always will be."
She stood up and he followed her lead. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in the crook of his neck.
"I feel better now that I've let that all out. I feel like a weight has been taken off me." She whispered as she nuzzled his neck with her nose.
He kissed her ear and smiled.
"I'm glad that you feel better. I hate it when you feel sad and there's nothing I can do to fix it. It's every husband's worse fear when he can't help his wife and she's in pain. It scares me shitless. Pardon my French."
She laughed at that last part.
"Having you near and being in your arms always helps." She breathed as she relaxed into his hold. "You know they thought I had hurt myself. They all thought I had done it to myself. Well all of them expect for Embry and Leah. Sam never really settled on what he believed. Whenever I said I was attacked they all just nodded and moved on to another topic."
Her sons arrived at that moment but Bella stayed where she was.
"When I woke up after being unconscious for who knows how long I was in the hospital, my first thoughts were death is peaceful… easy… life is harder. I thought I was dead until I looked around the room. I remember staring at the ceiling tiles and then the walls and then the door. Part of me wanted you to come through them. The other part scolded the first part for thinking it because I knew it wasn't true. I sighed and just let my emotions pass over me. During my dark time I either felt sad, desperate, broken, or nothing at all. Everyone came to visit me at the hospital. And when I saw my mom and dad come through those doors something changed in me. I held them the best I could and promised them that I was going to get better. I told them I didn't want to be a bad stupid kid anymore. I told them I wanted to get better. I told them I wanted to be happy again. I wanted to feel better again. This happened at the start of winter. I know stupid me for going out in the woods during the winter. And so I spent the rest of the winter healing physically. I started therapy. That's when I started another journal, which I still have. It's filled with lots of good things actually. I was still sad that you guys weren't around but I could smile again and laugh again. That's when I learned how to draw and paint. It became a therapy of sorts. It's sad because it took a near death experience for me to realize that I needed to change my life and that I wanted to. I started working harder in school. I started hanging out with my friends. I stopped drinking and doing drugs. I stopped being an adrenaline junkie. Charlie and I spent more time together. Everything was really looking up. That summer before I went away to college I gave the book of bad things to Jake to hold onto and then we had a bonfire. That book was supposed to go into the fire to symbolize my letting go of the past and accepting the future. But as we now know the book never got burned."
"I'm so sorry for all that we put you through." Carlisle murmured as he rubbed her back.
"Sh. Don't apologize. You couldn't have known what would happen. It's not your fault. My inability to properly deal with my emotions is my own fault. But that's the past and I've accepted my past to move on into my future, but that doesn't mean the past isn't painful to remember."
Bella took Carlisle's hand and she and the boys went back to meet the wolves.
"Are you all right?" Leah asked.
"I'm better now. I just needed some time to explain things to my family and get myself under control." Bella explained as she gave Carlisle's hand a squeeze.
"Bella, I'm so sorry. I never meant to keep it for the reasons you think. I didn't mean it to see that I thought I could control your life." Jake pleaded.
"Intentions don't matter, Jake. I merely want to say that I am in charge of my own life. I'll this past us but if you ever try to use what is written in there against me or even tell anyone anything that you read."
"I know. You'll kill me. Point taken."
Bella put her hand on her womb.
"I don't want my daughter, or even my son to grow up with this cloud hanging over them. My past is not theirs. My mistakes are not there own. Jake, I know you're mad at me for being a vampire. I can't change that and I wouldn't for the world. I have a family. I adopted the sweetest little boy in the world whom you met at my wedding. Now I'm weeks away from giving birth to a miracle. I need you to let go of the old Bella. I need you to let go of my sadness. Thank you, all of you, who helped me get over my past. Thank you for saving me and stopping me from my own stupidity. Thank you for those of you who have accepted what I am. Jake, if you cannot accept yet what I am. Try to accept who I am. You're still trying to protect little human Bella. If you tried to spend some time with me like Seth and Leah do even if it isn't for long periods of time, you might see that I've changed a lot. Having Carlisle back in my life and him being my mate, and having my family has made me a happier person. I belong where I am. I belong with them and they belong with me. Having love in my life has changed me permanently. Writing novels and publishing them has given me so much confidence. Being a vampire has made me feel normal. I belong this way. Carlisle makes me feel beautiful even when I was human. Being married has changed me and I am a stronger person because of it. I thought marriage was the ultimate change in my life until Nathan came into our world. It brought out things in me I didn't even know I was there. And now I'm going to give birth. I'm not missing out on anything. I have everything I could ever want and more. I've changed but I truly do believe that I've changed for the better. You can be part of my life, Jake. You don't have to wait for an invitation."
Then Bella turned to the rest of the wolves and thanked them. She hugged them all and was careful with Jake. Then they disappeared and Cullens went back to Seattle.
The first thing Bella did when she got back to the house was find Nathan. She swooped him up into her arms and covered his face with kisses.
"I love you so much, Sweetie. I'm so sorry that I made you worry. Everything is ok now. I'm home now. I'm here to take care of you and love you forever just like a good mother should. I love you so much and you are so important in my life. Please forgive me for running off and scaring you."
Nathan wrapped his arms around his mother's neck and kissed her on the cheek.
"I wasn't mad. I'm happy you're home. I love you, too."
She relaxed instantly when he said that to her.
"How was your day at school?"
"Apparently not as eventful as your afternoon." Nathan chuckled.
"Your really starting to sound like your father." She snickered.
"I try." He said with a smirk.
"Oh you are most definitely a Cullen." Bella grinned and then led him to the island in the kitchen to help him with his homework.
…
The weekend…
Bella waited for the phone to pick up. Charlie was annoying like that sometimes. Finally on the millionth ring he picked up.
"Hey Bells! How are ya, Kiddo?" Her dad was in an extremely good mood.
"Hey, Dad. I'm great. How about you? How's Sue?"
"I'm good and she is, too."
"Dad, I have some news for you."
"What is it, Bells?"
"Dad, I'm pregnant."
He was silent for a minute before he exclaimed.
"Holy cow! How did that happen? I thought you couldn't have children since you don't change and all? I mean I'm happy for ya! I'm really happy for ya, Kiddo. You and Carlisle deserve a kid of your own. Though that Nathan of yours is a trip. Say can he come down in the summer again?"
"Sure, Dad. And yeah, we were surprised too. It's only happened one other time. So she's one of two of her kind. We found out on the first of December and we've decided that she came into existence on the twenty fifth of November. This is why we think she'll be here on Christmas. She's growing extremely fast. She had a heartbeat and was already kicking after being here for only six days. She's a miracle. You're going to have your own biological granddaughter."
She heard him shout in excitement and then yell to Sue. He put them on speakerphone.
"Oh, Bella, I'm so happy for you and Carlisle! Oh Bella, little girls are so lovely. You're already amazing with Nathan and so you'll be even more amazing with your little girl." Sue chimed.
"Thanks. We haven't named her yet. We're going to get the kids all together and sit them down and try to come up with a name. She's really responsive and she kicks all the time especially when she's really happy. She's got us all wrapped around her tiny little finger. I just mailed the sonogram pictures to you yesterday. Oh, Dad, Nathan is so excited about being a big brother. Carlisle and I were hanging up a mobile above the baby's crib and Nathan came into the room with a drawing he had done. He asked us if it could go in the baby's room. He drew a rocket ship, you know how he loves outer space, but it was pink and it was flying through the Milky Way that had actual milk. We framed it and hung it above the crib so that the baby can see it. He wants to help with everything involving the baby. He even got a little Christmas tree for her and decorated it with sweet little girl ornaments just for her so that she could have a tree that was just the right size for her. He's so in love with this baby too."
"Oh, Bells. We're so happy for you. I can't wait to meet our little grandbaby. I don't mean to sound rude but what exactly is she?"
"Oh, haha. That. Well she's half vampire and half human. So she's a hybrid."
"Interesting. Well I'm sure she's still sweet as can be. I'm so happy for you."
"Thanks, Dad. That means a lot coming from you."
"Have you told Renee yet?"
"No. She and I are on good terms but not great ones. I thought about it but it didn't feel right. I think I'll wait until our baby is born wait for her to grow up a bit before I break the news to her that she's Carlisle and my biological child. You know how Renee reacts to some things and she knows that we're different. She has a sense that we're not quite human, according to Edward, but she will never say a word about it."
"Well, Bells, we have to go but I'm so happy that you told us the news. Pass my congratulations on to my son-in-law, will ya?"
"Of course, Dad. Love you. Love you, Sue."
"Love you, too." They both replied.
They hung up and Bella smiled happily.
…
Edward sat at the piano while he waited for everyone to gather in the living room at his mother's request. He was playing the First Noel and Bella sat on the couch and rubbed her round belly.
"Round yon virgin mother and child." He spoke melodiously.
"Wrong song and I'm not a virgin." Bella giggled.
"I know, but the image just sort of fit. You've gotten a bit bigger lately, but not in a bad way. I just meant that she's growing quickly."
Bella smiled at her son and then smiled at her round belly. Carlisle then came into the room and put his arm around his wife. She leaned into him and he sighed happily. He loved it that they could just be calm like this after what they had been through earlier this week. Olivia then came into the room and sat on top of the piano. She smirked at her husband and he growled playfully. Jasper and Alice came downstairs to the living room and then Emmett and Rosalie. Finally Tanya came down with Nathan running on her tail.
"So do you have any idea why we have called you all together?" Carlisle asked as he smiled at his wife.
Edward smiled.
"Besides you, Edward." Bella chuckled.
"Baby names." Nathan said proudly.
"That's right, Son. We need to come up with a name for this little angel. Your mother and I have tried but our little bundle of joy doesn't seem to like any of them."
"You should name her Emma." Emmett declared.
The baby didn't kick.
"Come on, Baby. It's the female version of Emmett. You gotta love that."
The baby even didn't to kick.
"Rejected." Edward snickered.
"How about Danielle?" Edward spoke up.
The baby didn't do anything.
"Bethany." Tanya sounded hopeful.
Nothing.
"Melody." Jasper said with a smile.
Nope.
"Maybe we should try some flower names." Olivia suggested.
"All right, well I don't think we'll do Rose because we also call Rosalie that." Carlisle chuckled.
"How about Daisy." Bella murmured.
She felt like the baby was repulsed.
"Iris." Carlisle suggested.
"Violet." Rosalie cooed.
None of them.
"Blossom." Edward crooned.
"Sage." Carlisle wished.
"Ivy." Tanya added.
Still nothing.
Edward began to play again to get everyone's mind working.
"Marigold." Jasper piped up with a smile on his face.
The baby didn't move.
Nathan got up out of his seat and walked over to his mom. He put his hand on her belly and murmured the magical name.
"Chrysanthemum."
The baby kicked happily. She didn't kick one or twice, but three times.
"Chrysanthemum." Bella repeated with a smile on his face.
The baby continued to kick happily.
"Chrysanthemum." Carlisle mused.
The baby continued to kick.
Soon everyone in the room was pondering over the name and they all couldn't help but smile.
"It's quite a mouthful but it seems fitting." Jasper beamed.
"Chrysanthemum." Bella crooned. "That's what we'll call you, Chrysanthemum."
The baby kicked happily and they all knew it was the right name.
"Now for a middle name." Carlisle sighed.
"Chrysanthemum seemed really happy the other day when Olivia was singing the first Noel."
"Chrysanthemum Noel Cullen." Carlisle mused.
The baby kicked happily.
"It looks like we have a winner." Edward chuckled.
"Finally you have a name." Bella murmured as she rubbed her belly. "I can't wait to meet you, Chrysanthemum Noel Cullen."
Everyone in the room seemed to agree.
…
Carlisle held Bella in his arms. Finally they were alone. Her lips met his passionately. Tonight it would be all about her. He licked her lower lip asking for permission and it was granted. His tongue battled with hers but she let him win. He massaged her tongue with his. She moaned into the kiss and he held her closer. Ever so carefully he pulled her shirt off and then her skirt. She didn't resist. He knew just how much she needed this. He needed it too. He wanted her so badly. She made quick work of getting off his shirt and pants. Greedily he let his fingers dance along her skin. She was so beautiful.
"I love you." He murmured as he guided her down into the bed.
"I love you." She whispered as he crawled on top of her.
"Everything is about you tonight. I know our love life has been lacking ever since Chrysanthemum came into our world and I want to make it up to you. I want to make you feel so good." He purred as he kissed her lips playfully.
He lowered his lips to her neck.
"I'm going to make such good love to you, Isabella." He growled as he nipped her skin with his teeth.
She whimpered in anticipation. She loved the way he was looking at him. He was hungry with lust. He wanted her. He didn't care that her stomach was round and large with child. He wanted to make mind-blowing love to her.
He kissed his way down to her lower lips. He spread her legs and dipped his head in between. She was already wet for him.
"Is this all for me?" He asked seductively.
"Always." She moaned as he lapped at her juices. "Oh, fuck, Carlisle!" She screamed.
"That's right, Baby. Only I can make you feel this way." He growled.
He inserted two of her fingers into her pussy and began to pump. She writhed in pleasure. Her lips formed a perfect O and she began to pant as she felt her stomach twist. He gave one last lick and she came hard into his mouth. Not a drop was wasted for he swallowed it all.
Then he crawled up beside her and turned her on her side. He wrapped her in his arms and spread her legs, draping her top leg back over his hip. He placed his erect member at her entrance and slowly pushed in. She moaned in pleasure but wanted to feel all of him inside of her.
"More." She begged.
He obliged and pulled out and then slammed in. He rocked inside of her slowly and then sped up at her command. Then when she was tight and ready he gave one last thrust and they came together screaming each other's names. But of course Carlisle was pleased when she added "Oh my Dr. Sex!" to the end of her exclamation.
Once he pulled out she turned in his arms and stroked his cheek.
"I love you." She murmured as she pressed her lips against his.
"As I love you." Carlisle whispered as he pulled the covers up around them.
Bella snuggled close to her husband and sighed happily. The baby fell asleep in her womb and so they spent the rest of the night talking quietly. Everything was peaceful. Everything was calm. The night was silent with the whispers of lovers. The stars twinkled in the sky. And even God himself smiled down at the Cullen home for he too anticipated the birth of his special creation and his gift to his misunderstood children. He smiled and waited. The wait wouldn't be long.