This story will be ending soon. Like in a few chapters. There will be Nationals, and then I plan to do one or two epilogue type chapters.

Thanks for hanging in there, especially AirNationOracle and JasonDragon64.

Warning: Britt gets carried away. Fluffy references to smut but no actual smut.

Not really a warning, I just felt like putting that up there. Who puts warnings that state when smut is absent? Me apparently.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Ten minutes later, Kurt found himself in "their room" in the back of the auditorium with two Cheerios who looked way too excited at the prospect of Sam and Kurt making out.

Brittany was buzzing with excitement, and Santana was almost salivating. Seriously? Didn't these girls have an exciting enough sex life together? He couldn't imagine that watching Kurt and Sam kiss would be this life-changing for them.

Sam was grinning and putting down various clothes on the floor in soft piles. He'd attacked the rack of costumes the minute he walked in, while Kurt stopped to drop his bag at the door. When Kurt opened his mouth to ask why Sam was piling the costumes, Sam said he was going to make Kurt more comfortable before he had his way with him.

The tone of voice that he'd said it in made Kurt weak in the knees, and Santana practically purred. She of course, would know what it was like to be devoured by Sam, so she knew what Kurt was looking forward to.

"Come here," Sam growled at Kurt, and he nearly stumbled to get over to where Sam was standing.

Sam kissed him deeply, his tongue taking over Kurt's mouth and his hands beginning the exploration that Kurt knew so well. He could almost predict which body part Sam would touch next. Sam's mouth was incredible, and he sucked on Kurt's bottom lip before he began attacking Kurt's throat. Kurt threw his head back and moaned.

Sam navigated both of them down to the floor, and Kurt felt his back land in the pile of costumes. Sam nudged his legs apart and settled between them. Kurt moaned again when he felt Sam's erection against him.

Sam's mouth trailed wet kisses down his throat and over his collarbone. Kurt sighed and let his hands wander across Sam's back and shoulders.

Kurt pulled Sam's face down for more kisses, and Sam groaned into his mouth. Sam pulled his leg up to get him closer, and he held Kurt's thigh up against him.

Kurt moaned again when he felt Sam's hands slide over his ass.

"Wanky," Santana purred, snapping Kurt out of his haze.

Sam seemed to have forgotten the girls were there too, and he smiled down at Kurt.

They turned to see Britt and Santana curled up on a pile and kissing. It wasn't exactly something Kurt found attractive on a regular basis, but he had to admit that the passion that they felt for each other was kind of hot.

"I feel like I've been dropped in the middle of a porno," Kurt grinned at Sam, who'd gotten distracted by the sight of the girls making out. "What's the matter, Sam?" Kurt laughed.

"That," Sam pointed at Santana and Britt. "That explains so much to me."

Kurt had an idea of what he was talking about, but since he didn't want to discuss Sam's relationship with Santana at the moment, he'd let it slide until later.

"Well, Brittany is an amazing kisser," Kurt pulled Sam down and kissed him. "I can see how she'd be overcome right now." Kurt gestured to Santana with a nod of his head.

"Yes, she is," Santana muttered before attacking her girlfriend again.

"Yes she is, and Santana is too," Sam agreed absently.

"Oh that's right. The party. I forgot you and Britt kissed at Rachel's party. So you've kissed both of them, and I've only kissed Britt." Kurt watched in amusement as Britt and Santana roll around on the floor in from of them.

"Totally unfair, by the way," Santana stopped abusing Britt's mouth to look up at Kurt. "She talks about your lips all the time."

Sam bent down to kiss him and whispered, "Your lips are incredible, you know. They're so soft, and they taste amazing."

Kurt could feel himself blush, "Thank you."

"Dolphin, will you kiss Santana? She's been feeling left out since she's kissed Sam and I've kissed you, and you've kissed Sam, and Sam's kissed you and me. And it's just not fair to Sanny," Britt requested innocently.

Kurt looked at her. She seemed to really feel it was unfair to Santana that she didn't get to kiss Kurt. The girl was precious.

"I don't think Sanny really wants that Boo. And Sam might not want that." Kurt smiled at her.

Kurt laughed when Britt pouted at Sam. "Please, Sammy?"

"Sam actually might think that could be kind of hot. Maybe." Sam replied with a shrug.

"Sam might need to be just a bit clearer," Kurt dropped his hands and stared up at his bisexual boyfriend. "Does Sam want Kurt to do this, or does Sam want Sam to do this?"

Sam hovered over him and glared down. "Don't. Don't go there. Sam wants Kurt to do it. Because Sam thinks that Kurt kissing is the most erotic thing on the planet, and Sam wants to watch Kurt do that to Santana. Not because Sam wants to do it. Got that?"

"I'm sorry," Kurt said quietly. "I shouldn't have assumed that."

Sam dipped his mouth to Kurt's ear. "I want you. Just because I think two girls kissing is hot doesn't mean I want to have a threesome with them. And it doesn't mean I want to kiss either of them. But I'm being honest that I think that watching you kiss her will be fucking hot."

"Okay," Kurt whispered.

Sam whispered again, "Puck told me back in the choir room that if you hear Britt say 'Now Santana' it means she's about to jump your bones. So watch out if she says it."

Kurt pulled back in surprise. "This is a set-up isn't it?"

"Yes. We planned all of it. Brittany has been dying to have sex with you for months. So Santana and I planned this entire situation so that you'll be forced to have sex with a girl while Santana and I watch. We're planning to convert you to the dark side of bisexuality," Sam deadpanned.

"Shut up, Anakin." Kurt smacked him on the arm.

"Then stop saying shit like that. Now kiss the girl before Brittany eats her tonsils." Sam pointed at the moaning pile of Cheerios.

"Ew. That's gross. I meant the eating tonsils thing by the way. Not me kissing her."

"You don't think it's gross when I eat your tonsils."

"That's because you're mine."

"Britt. Let go of Santana a minute. Kurt's going to rock her world." Sam smirked back at Kurt as he said it, reminding them of the incident between Blaine and Rachel during that party.

Kurt snorted. "Hardly, Sam."

"I bet she'll think your face tastes awesome," Sam laughed and then he turned back to Kurt to whisper, "And when you're done kissing her, we'll kick them out. And then I'm going to fuck you right here."

A flare of desire sparked inside him. "That's one hell of a reward for kissing a girl."

"That's one hell of a reward for you being okay with kissing a girl."

"Britt," Kurt looked over at the girl who was sucking face with Satan, but she ignored him.

"Britt," Kurt repeated and stared at their display before turning back to Sam, who just shrugged.

"Britt!" Kurt shouted, and the girl pulled away from Santana.

"Yes, Dolphin?" Britt was dazed and since she was confused most of the time, the effect made for a more adorable Brittany than usual.

"Boo, I can't kiss her if you won't get off her," Kurt replied kindly.

"Oh yay!" Britt clapped her hands together. "He's going to kiss you Sanny!"

"Really?" Santana purred at him. "You sure Lady Lips? I'm not exactly your type."

"If my name is Lady Lips, I'm closer to your type than any other guy at this school," Kurt smirked at her.

"Touché, Prancy Smurf," Santana crawled over to Kurt and Britt squealed.

Britt got up and moved over to sit down on Sam's other side. Sam sat back and Britt draped her arm around his shoulders, pulling him slightly away and off of Kurt.

It was like being in a sexual lioness's den. And Kurt had to admit, he was afraid. Very afraid.

Kurt turned to Sam, "If she does anything illegal to me or violates me in any way, you are not getting sex for a month."

"Shit. Santana, behave yourself. You get his lips only," Sam looked down in fear.

Santana cackled and looked at Sam, "Too late Trouty. I'm going to have my way with him." Then she winked at Kurt.

Kurt smirked when Sam paled at the prospect of this idea turning on him. Kurt held out his arms and Santana sank into a hug.

She dropped her mouth to Kurt's ear and whispered, "Britt wants the kiss Prancy. I love her, so let's go along with this. She's convinced that your lips are some kind of god-given gift, and she won't hush until we do this. I'm not going to molest you. But you could make Sam think I am."

"Deal," Kurt whispered back. "I want him to hate this. I want him to be jealous that someone else, boy or girl, is kissing me."

"I can handle that."

And then Santana covered his mouth with hers. She smirked into the kiss and Kurt moaned, half-seriously and half for Sam's benefit. Santana licked his lips and pulled his lower lip in to bite it, and Kurt heard Britt moan in the background.

Man, she could kiss. He could appreciate kissing, no matter the gender. No wonder Britt had such a hard time staying away from her.

Kurt heard and felt movement as if someone was getting up out of the floor. He knew it wasn't Santana because she was currently trying to swallow his uvula. It could be either Sam or Britt, but he couldn't tell right now.

He heard the words "Now, Santana" spoken softly, and he opened his eyes.

Wasn't there a warning about that phrase?

"Shit!" Sam shouted in the background.

And then Kurt was attacked by a blonde tornado of hands and kisses. Santana was pushed off to the side, and then Britt took over. She had apparently decided that she'd had enough of Santana hoarding the Dolphin kisses, and she wanted some of her own.

Kurt tried to protest, but then Britt had her tongue down his throat, cutting off all communication.

He heard Santana cackle, and Sam was cursing and trying to pull Britt off him. And then she started groping. This was more intense than when they'd made out in sophomore year. Britt wasn't going to settle for just kissing this time.

And then she was pulled off him, and Britt's eyes were hazy with unspent desire.

"Britt? Are you okay?" Kurt grinned up at her. He couldn't even be mad at her. She was too damn adorable and sweet.

"Sorry, Dolphin. Santana says I get carried away sometimes." She didn't look sorry though.

She looked like an endearing blonde predator that would devour him at a moment's notice. Sam had Britt around the waist and he was gently holding her, turning her away from Kurt.

"This shit is why I can't leave her alone with Kurt," Santana stated to Sam, as if it was normal for her girlfriend to be preying on her gay best friend. "She's only allowed to be with him in public."

"I see this. You did warn me though. I can't say you didn't." Sam shook his head and deposited Britt at the doorway.

"Wait, you knew this would happen?" Kurt glared up at them from the floor.

"Well, we knew it was a possibility." Santana smirked down at him. "You know she's never kept it a secret that she wanted some more Dolphin kisses."

"So you just let her attack me?" Kurt laughed out loud, the absurdity of the situation taking over.

"Have you ever been able to stop her from doing something before?" Santana put her hands on her hips and stared at him.

"Touche, Satan. You're forgiven. Boo, it's okay. I'm alright."

Britt smiled down at him. "Thank you for making out with me again, Dolphin."

Well, it had been more like she'd jumped him, but he wasn't going to be mean to her. She loved him, and she was his bicurious unicorn. If he was straight, then Britt would be the girl for him.

And Santana had told him on many occasions that Kurt being gay was the only thing standing in between Britt and her having Kurt as her man.

He watched as Santana led a very dazed and always confused Britt out of the room.

Then Sam was back, on top of him, kissing him like he needed Kurt more than air. He felt Sam's hands in his hair, ruffling it, but he didn't care. All he wanted was that mouth all over him.

Sam pulled back slightly, "I'm sorry I didn't catch her in time."

"It was traumatic," Kurt remarked matter-of-factly.

"I could tell. Did she get a hold of your tonsils too?" Sam smiled down at him.

"Yes, I'm going to have post-traumatic stress from this," Kurt replied.

"I'm sure you will. I'll make it all better though."

"Where were you when she attacked me? I was helpless and at the mercy of Satan and her mistress."

"Actually it was just her mistress you were at the mercy of. Satan had been thrown to the side," Sam laughed. "And I was in your bag, finding your lube."

"Ah. Pervert. Abandoned me to the mercy of oversexed lesbians just to get supplies."

"We needed them. And for the record, one lesbian and one bicurious unicorn."

"Not the point. I was in a den of oversexed women," Kurt smiled.

"Yes, you were. And I gotta admit. I didn't like it," Sam leaned back. "I thought it would be hot, but all I wanted to do was get her off you. Santana too."

"Really?" Kurt grinned. That's what he wanted to hear.

"Is this how it felt to see me kiss Quinn?" Sam asked quietly.

"You mean that unnatural feral growl of fury accompanied by the fiery need to rip her face off for daring to put her lips on yours?"

Sam snorted. "Something like that."

"Nope. Can't say that's a familiar feeling at all."

He'd only felt it when Quinn got near Sam, when Santana got near Sam, when Britt got near Sam, when Mercedes got near Sam. That was all. No big deal.

"Even though I know you have no attraction to San or Britt at all, I couldn't help but feel that they needed to get their hands off you."

"That's because you want to have your way with me," Kurt wrapped his arms around Sam's neck.

"I always want that. But I really felt that they needed to get off my man. It was intense."

"I know. I can't stand the idea of you being with anybody else, male or female. I hate the thought of it."

"I know I don't have to worry about you leaving me for a female, but I'll admit, I can't stand the way Blaine looks at you."

"He doesn't look at me any way in particular."

"Or the way David looks at you."

"Sam," Kurt replied quietly.

"Or Puck for that matter."

"They don't look at me like anything. And even if they did, I'm yours." Kurt had never seen any of them look at him recently, but that's because he only had eyes for Sam most of the time.

"Baby, you're the sexiest human being alive. Of course they look at you."

"I'd like to argue that point, because you are much sexier than I am."

"Nope."

"Yep."

"I hate how many people I have to put up with staring at your sexy ass."

Kurt winked up at him. "I have to put up with straight women wanting you, bisexual women wanting you, gay men wanting you, and bisexual men wanting you. And you're not even safe from lesbians if they're led by Satan herself."

Sam snorted again. "Well, I have to deal with gay men wanting you, bisexual men wanting you, and bisexual women if they're led by her mistress. And now, Satan herself has had a taste of you. I'm sure I'll have to deal with her later."

"I know what the problem is."

"What?"

"Karma."

"For what? What did we do?"

"We're paying the price for being so fucking hot all the time," Kurt sighed dramatically.