Author's Preface: Time for a short recap, in case things are confusing:

Back in 2177, Ben Shepard was fresh off his glorious victory in the Skyllian Blitz when he was approached by Nihlus Kryik. The turian wanted to examine Ben and gauge him for future Spectre consideration but they were waylaid by the events of Akuze. Sam was badly injured and half-crazy but Nihlus helped Ben reach his little bro in time to calm him down and help him recover. Somewhat. After that Ben felt indebted to dear old Nihlus. Unfortunately, we know where that all ended up.

Anyways, recap over. Let's proceed. Oh, and...

NSFW warning ahead.

(Ben Shepard)

Sitting across from each other at a table in the mess hall, both Shepards were staring at each other without saying a word.

Ben had thought sitting his brother down somewhere to talk would make this easier. He was wrong. Telling Sam everything about the day he first met Nihlus had been harder than Ben expected, especially after what happened a day before.

"So…" Sam finally spoke up and shook his head in disbelief. "I guess that explains a lot." His voice was hoarse, and when Ben looked at Sam closer he saw that the younger Shepard's eyes were red.

"Did you ever see him again?" he asked. "I mean, until…"

Ben shook his head and said, "No," sadly. "The next time Nihlus and I met was on our way to Eden Prime." He remembered what Saren told him on Virmire and gritted his teeth in anger.

"Saren acts like he did Nihlus a favor, blowing a hole in his head and turning him into something like those husks. He called Nihlus his friend, even when he turned him against everything Nihlus ever stood for." He straightened back up and looked at Sam grimly. "And do you want to know the worst part? I don't even know if what Saren did to him can be fixed.

Everything we saw about indoctrination from Shiala, Benezia and those cloned krogan… Who knows if there's any way to reverse it?"

The two of them were silent for a moment or two. Sam finally spoke up and replied, "I don't know. But when we get to Saren again you know he'll throw everything he has at us. That includes Nihlus. And…" Ben could hear a hint of regret in his brother's voice. But when Sam spoke again his tone shifted every so slightly.

"Do you remember when Benezia attacked me on Noveria?" Ben's gut clenched and he nodded warily. "She said she was trying to corrupt me," Sam murmured. "Plant Sovereign's indoctrination into my head by melding it with hers. What if she managed to tweak something around in there before I broke it off?" His right hand, which was resting on the table, began to shake.

"Indoctrination takes its time, right? What if Benezia's stunt worked and I just haven't noticed it yet? If we get near Sovereign they could crank it up and set me loose on you, Liara and the rest."

Ben wasn't going to let Sam start doubting himself now, so he grabbed him by the arm firmly and retorted, "That's not going to happen." Sam's hand grew still but he still wouldn't face Ben.

"Look at me," Ben said to him harshly. When Sam finally lifted his eyes back to him Ben whispered, "Don't even think about that. If anything, Saren's counting on those kinds of doubts. He probably knows we're coming, and when he does he'll want us afraid. However the rest of the crew feels, I'm not letting him get to you."

When Sam looked unconvinced Ben thought of Saren's attack on Virmire and asked, "If Saren could control you at any time why didn't he do it when he had the chance? He'd caught us off guard and had us cornered. It was the perfect chance."

"Yeah," Sam answered eventually. "I guess so."

Sam's expression steadily grew more relaxed and Ben grinned in relief. But then a wave of exhaustion hit Ben and he wavered for a second. Leaning over and rubbing the bridge of his nose, he realized just how tired he was. When was the last time he had slept?

"I need to check up with the rest of the crew." Ben stood up and cracked his neck, not ready to rest quite yet. "I told you earlier to get some rest, and I meant it. We all need to be ready."

Ben wandered through each deck of the Normandy one by one. While Joker navigated the ship to the Mu Relay, the crew was making final preparations for Ilos. In the medical room Doctor Chakwas kept herself busy reviewing the ship's medi-gel supply and her equipment for when the inevitable wounded came to her.

Each squad mate was also taking care of their own personal business. On his way down to the engineering deck Ben stopped to check on Wrex and Garrus. The turian was on his knees working on the Mako's wheels while Wrex sat nearby. They were deep in conversation and Ben listened in to hear what each was saying.

"You know," Wrex grumbled. "If someone told me a few months ago that I'd be marching off to almost certain death with a turian, I probably would have cracked his head open."

Garrus chuckled sheepishly. "I'd probably get C-Sec to check their head if they told me I'd fight alongside a krogan. But, here we are." He craned his head up to look at Wrex and scratched his crest. "I don't mind, really. You could say I learned a lot on this ship."

"I'll say." Wrex nodded in amusement. "I thought the whole 'turians are uptight and you can't trust them' was old news. But I do trust you, Vakarian." His lip curled sardonically. "But you're still uptight. And boring."

Garrus laughed despite himself. "And I trust you, even if I am afraid you'll walk in and headbutt me just because you feel like it."

The two continued to joke and trade barbs while Ben moved on, cracking a smile himself. It hadn't been any secret that Garrus and Wrex distrusted each other when first joining the crew, both carrying their races' mutual hatred. But now they were as close as any of the other crew.

In their own weird, vitriolic way.

Ben's next stop was the squad lockers. Ashley was busy on a datapad while a freshly cleaned rifle lay nearby. She didn't appear to notice him, so Ben cleared his throat. "Ashley."

Her head jolted up in surprise. "Oh! Oh, sorry, Skipper. I didn't hear you coming in." Ashley put the datapad down and Ben peered at it curiously before turning back to her. Probably contacting her family one last time. Ben didn't blame her. He and Sam were lacking in family back home, but he understood wanting some closure before things finally went to hell.

"How's everything down here, Ash?" he asked.

"Fine." Ashley rubbed the back of her neck and asked, "Can I ask you a question Shepard? It's… kind of personal."

Ben figured he had the time and leaned against one locker. "Sure. Go ahead."

Ashley's face worked as if she was trying to find the right words to say. Ben waited patiently until she took a deep breath and asked, "Do you believe in God?" The question caught Ben off-guard. He'd expected something about family, or what each of them might get up to once the mission was over.

Ben had never really given faith much thought since his childhood. He'd visited church a few times but was never truly devout. Sometimes he looked up at space and wondered what was really out there. But everything he'd seen since then from the Blitz, Akuze, and the creations of the Reapers had ruined that mystery for him.

"It's hard to say," he answered. "I can't say I really believe. But there's still a lot out there we haven't seen. For a long time I couldn't help wondering what will happen next after I die." He sighed ruefully and joked, "But I've come so close, so many times, that after I while I just stopped thinking about it."

Ashley gave a sad half-smile. "Yeah. I guess that's something all of us have to handle," she remarked.

"What about you?" Ben peered back at her curiously. "I'm guessing, since you asked, that you do believe."

"Well, of course!" Ashley's eyes widened and her demeanor turned more excited. "I mean, how could you look out at the galaxy and not believe in something?" She seemed to realize how giddy she looked and cleared her throat. "That is, whether or not that something could be God. The turians, asari, krogan, they all have their beliefs too. Tali was talking to me about it a little while ago."

Ben remembered the quarian phrase 'Keelah se'lai'. He had never asked what it meant, but it obviously held some significance to quarians in general after he heard Tali and other various quarians say it. "That's true," he replied. "Really, as far as I'm concerned I still don't know. And I'm not going to pretend to know."

"That's where the faith part comes in," Ashley said with a smile. "Just something to think about, I guess, considering where we're going. What we're about to do. A little faith doesn't really hurt. Gives me something to hope for, even if we screw things up."

She picked up the datapad and Ben finally asked, "What were you up to there, anyway?"

Ashley clicked on something he couldn't make out and showed him a photograph. It was a picture of Ashley with three girls he quickly realized were Ashley's sisters. It looked like Ben's instincts were on the mark. "That's Abby, Lynn, and Sarah." The gunnery chief's expression turned nostalgic. Her voice was heavy when she told him, "I was trying to decide whether to send them a little goodbye."

Visibly holding back tears Ashley gazed at Ben, looking lost. "Like I said, I want to believe things will be okay. But just in case I'm wrong…" She hesitated and took a shaky breath. "Just wanted to make sure we got some closure, you know?"

Ben nodded in understanding. "Of course."

Ben's last stop on his way around the ship was the drive core, where as usual Tali was busy with maintenance. "Hello, Commander." The quarian engineer's bright eyes glanced briefly at the commander before she continued her work.

He stared at Tali in concern. He hadn't seen her once since the crew returned to the ship. "Tali, have you been down here the whole time?" She still didn't face him.

"I've been busy," she said hastily. "Wanted to make sure everything was still working."

Ben crossed his arms sternly. "Tali, I think I'm smart enough to know when someone's trying to avoid me. And everyone else, for that matter." Tali fidgeted in place, and Ben heard her mumbling. "It's just me, Tali. You can speak up."

"Sorry," Tali said. "You're right. I know I should be with everyone else. I had a word with Ashley, you know, and I've been meaning to spend more time with Liara but…" She trailed off.

Hoping to make her more comfortable and wanting to know what had her so on edge Ben sat nearby and talked for her. "Yeah. I was just with Ashley, she mentioned you. She said you were talking about your people's faith back home."

"Ah. Yes. Well…" After stammering briefly she shook her head. "Not really. My people don't really have a home, remember?"

Ben realized what Tali was saying and replied, "Right. The Migrant Fleet. Not Rannoch."

"Exactly." Tali broke her attention away from the drive core at last. "I never told you what Keelah se'lai really means did I? It means 'by the home world I hope to see one day'. That's Rannoch, of course. I was talking with Ashley, and I realized that if we beat Saren and his geth then my people's chances of taking back our world go up."

She sat cross-legged in front of Ben. "Or we die and the Reapers come in and wipe out everything and everyone. So no pressure."

Tali's sarcasm did a bad job of hiding how nervous she obviously was. Ben laughed with her however and said, "Of course not." He thought of his own homeworld. What had changed back there since he was gone? It had been so long, Ben realized that he had started to take it for granted that he still had a world to go back to.

Tali's race didn't have that luxury.

But that didn't explain why Tali was still so secluded. "Getting back to the point," Ben stated, "I want to know why you're in here. You've been coming out more and more, so why hide now?" She groaned and rested her helmeted head in her palm. It was clear she was afraid to tell him.

"Okay, Ben. The truth is... I've gotten too close with everyone." Ben gazed back at her, confused by the answer. Tali continued, slowly and sounding almost afraid to admit what she was saying. "Back with the Migrant Fleet we have to accept that we're on our own. When each of us goes on our Pilgrimage, we're not encouraged to truly bond with people outside of the Fleet. One day each of us will return with something of value, and that's that."

She sighed regretfully. "I want to go home. I want to see my friends again. I want to make my father Rael proud. But I look around at the Liara, Garrus…" She turned her glowing eyes to Ben. "You. You're my friends too. And you all mean as much to me as the people I left behind."

Cocking his head Ben asked, "Then why so distant?"

"Because I'm scared of what might happen to you all," Tali said. "I've seen you do some amazing things. But stopping something like the Reapers? I don't know if anyone's going to make it. And I'm afraid." She paused, blinking nervously. "Is that wrong?"

Ben shook his head and answered with a laugh, "No. That just means you're not crazy. I'm scared too." When Tali nodded reluctantly Ben added, "But maybe that'll help when we get to Ilos. You'll be looking out for everyone around you…" He gave Tali a playful jab on the arm.

"And you can be damn sure we'll do the same. That's what friends do."

The young quarian was glowing with gratitude, and Ben was caught off guard when Tali reached over and gave him a tight hug. "Thank you Ben," Tali said as her eyes shifted in what was almost definitely a smile.

"I'm glad to have a friend like you."

Ben gladly returned the hug and left with Tali, taking her past the Mako where Garrus and Wrex were finishing their work. Engineer Adams was with them. "You guys done yet?" Ben asked sarcastically. "Maybe you'll be able to honk the horn by the time Sovereign's ready to blow us up."

Wrex shook his fist at the commander and grunted dismissively. Softening his tone Ben ordered, "Get some time to relax. We've got a while before we hit the Mu Relay, and I want everyone in top shape when the fighting starts."

Eventually the krogan sighed and left for the second deck along with the others. While Ben followed them back up Ashley walked over to Ben and Tali. "Have either of you seen Liara?" she asked. "Doctor Chakwas said she checked out of her office a few minutes ago."

Ben had a few ideas where she was going. He wasn't about to pry however, and restraining a smile he simply answered, "She's taking care of her own business. Whatever we have to do to get ready."

Ashley nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, sir."

When his squad mates were far enough away Ben finally broke into a grin. I know exactly where you're going, Liara. His smile vanished as quickly as it went however, and Ben thought of Sam. If his brother was going to march off to certain death with him, Ben wanted him to have just one night together with Liara, free from any distractions.

They'd both earned that much.

(Sam Shepard)

In his quarters Sam finished readying his gear for the mission before sitting down on his bed to ponder. It wouldn't be long before they reached the Relay and went up against Saren again. Probably for the last time. He remembered everything he had been through from the Blitz, the massacre on Akuze, facing the Reapers' minion and losing Kaidan.

Although he wouldn't admit it, Sam wasn't very optimistic any of them would make it out alive. "Already cheated death once," he muttered to himself and looked at his reflection on the visor of his helmet. "Probably won't manage again." He grimaced when he realized what the worst part about all this was. If he didn't say something soon, he and Liara could die on Ilos and his only regret would not be telling Liara those three words he hadn't said to anyone in a long time.

I love you.

The young commander was brought out of his rumination by a knock on the cabin door. "That you, Ben?" The door opened, but it wasn't Ben who entered. Liara walked in his quarters slowly, surveying his cabin with a nervous look. "Sam."

He rose almost instinctively. "Liara. I was… I was just thinking about you."

Smiling, Liara replied, "I have been thinking about you too. If I could have a few minutes to talk…" Without thinking Sam gestured Liara to a chair, but she remained standing. "I know what stopping Saren means to all of us, and to the galaxy. I hope we succeed, but part of me feels we might be already too late. In case we fail, I…"

"We're not going to fail," Sam told her. "I promise." He didn't really believe that, but he wasn't going to let Liara despair.

The asari shook her head. "Please, I'm not looking for comfort. It is time to be completely honest with each other, Sam. For all we know Saren might have the Conduit already." Something shifted in her blue eyes. "These could very well be our last moments together. I want them to be special, and…" Liara edged closer to him.

"And I want us to finally show each other how we really feel."

Sam knew what she was really talking about. Liara had melded with Ben to help decipher his visions, but this was something very different. "But, you've never mated with anyone before." He spoke gently, not wanting to hurt Liara in any way. "I don't want you to feel forced into anything. We don't have to do this."

Feeling guilty he added, "Not unless you're sure."

Liara was only inches away now. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I have been sure for some time now." Her eyes darted to the side. "I was ready when you spent the night with me before Noveria. But of course, other matters came up." Her cheeks darkened and Sam remembered the horror of Ben walking in on them making out.

"Oh god," he laughed. "Please don't remind me." Liara joined in laughing with him for a moment. "So… I guess you feel ready now, huh?" The beautiful asari drew herself up and looked straight into his eyes. "Yes. Will you join with me, Sam? And let our bodies and minds unite?"

Sam couldn't pretend he didn't want this. Knowing Liara had made him feel stronger than he had in years. She made him feel whole. Sam loved her, and he knew she loved him too. If they truly were going to die on Ilos, he couldn't say no to her. Not now. Taking a deep breath he gave his answer.

"Just tell me what to do."

A look of relief crossed Liara's face. And as if she'd been waiting years she nearly leapt into Sam's arms, her lips crashing into his.

Caught by surprise, Sam almost fell over backwards. But he wasn't about to be outdone and returned the kiss in full force. It was clumsy and desperate, after months of holding back. Sam reached for the seams on Liara's suit and pulled them open, bringing his mouth down to Liara's neck. She gasped in pleasure and hooked her fingers under the commander's shirt and pulled it over his head, throwing it to the side.

Seconds later her eyes widened. "Oh… Sam. Your chest."

He looked down at his chest and his heart fell when Sam saw what had Liara so shocked. Against the hard muscle and hair of his chest was a horrible scar, running from his collarbone to the bottom of his ribcage. Another souvenir of the thresher maw attack from years ago, like the one on his face. In the heat of the moment, Sam had forgotten all about it.

She must be horrified.

Ashamed he tried to cover the mark, but was surprised when Liara brushed his hand aside and ran her hand along it, staring intently. "Sam, it's alright. Look at me." The doctor raised Sam's head to face her again. "Just look." Taking one step backwards, Liara began to remove her suit until most of her upper body was exposed, hidden only by a black bra.

Sam looked at Liara's arm and saw that she was carrying a scar too. It was a burn reaching from the inside of her elbow to her wrist, rough and pale rather than the flawless blue around it.

"You see? I first received this during a dig twenty years ago. I was embarrassed at first, but it's a part of me now. I had to accept it." She put her hand on Sam's chest again. "Just as you have to accept yours. There is no part of you that isn't beautiful." She kissed him again, slower and more intimate this time while she undid his belt.

As she did so Sam grasped the back of Liara's bra and unhooked it. His hands then reached down and caressed her lower back, and then her bottom. A sigh escaped her, and almost at the same time Sam let her panties fall to the floor while she undid his pants, both finally standing naked in front of each other.

Liara was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. The asari maiden's slender legs seemed to go on forever, and her hips were cocked to one side as she stood in place. Her breasts were full and perfectly formed. There was a fine, almost invisible pattern of scales on Liara's body instead of any hair.

Sam's gaze traveled up her body and he saw Liara's cheeks blushing a deep indigo. The same as her already erect nipples. His heart felt ready to burst out of his chest when Liara took his hand and pressed their foreheads together.

"Embrace eternity."

In an instant Liara's black eyes filled Sam's vision and every one of his senses flared. Every sensation was suddenly heightened. He could feel the cold air coming from the vents in the ceiling and Liara's touch sent a tremor down Sam's entire body. She rubbed her body against the human's, tracing down his sides and abdomen and it was now his turn to gasp in pleasure.

They kissed again, and this time Sam and Liara were both aware of every breath, every touch. Every sight, sound and smell.

Feeling a sudden aggressive instinct he picked Liara up by her hips. She wrapped her legs around him, laughing in excitement, but they stumbled to the bed too quickly and tripped. They fell down onto the mattress and it was Sam's turn to laugh. But he stopped when Liara pounced on top of him, freezing when her face was just an inch away from his.

"I'm ready," she whispered.

"Me too."

Sam rested his hands on each of Liara's hips and eased her down on his erection, and in an instant he finally entered her. Her body tensed up and Sam was worried he had hurt her. "Liara, I…" But her head fell and Liara's look was one of ecstasy, and she began to move.

Right away the feeling was mutual. This was not Sam's first time being intimate with a woman, but any other tryst was just an afterthought compared to Liara. The asari breathed heavily almost in time with him. Sam squeezed her hips and then her butt, which drew a small yelp from her before flipping so he was on top. Liara's hands braced against the wall behind her and bit her lip, the sight causing his heart to race even faster as Sam shoved into her again.

"Goddess," Liara moaned loudly as he took hold of her breasts and squeezed harder this time. Her hips rolled along with each thrust, with each beat her hands struck the wall harder and harder. The two grunted in unison and Sam felt himself reaching his climax.

Liara beat him to it however, and he felt her inner thighs grow wet. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she almost screamed. Seconds later he felt his own release, collapsing against her. Liara's breasts flattened against his chest and the two rested against each other for half a minute.

An alarming thought crossed Sam's mind. He looked at the door. "Shit," he panted. "What if someone heard us?" Liara gazed up at him, a fine layer of sweat already coating her body.

Her eyes fluttered and while her hands clasped each side of Sam's head she shouted breathlessly, "Then let them listen." Sam looked at her in shock, never expecting this side of her. And in spite of himself he broke down laughing, Liara joining him quickly.

He ran a finger down her crests, staring deep into her sky blue eyes. Liara finally found her voice again and whispered, "I love you."

The exhausted commander fell still. All of a sudden Sam felt vulnerable. His mouth worked but no sound came out.

But then Sam remembered the moment he first saw Liara. He remembered the moment he faced down Saren's krogan minion to save her, her bravery facing down her mother alongside him and the feeling of strength they'd given one another.

A bold look replaced his blank stare. Sam smiled broadly and murmured back, "I love you too."

Liara's head rose to kiss him once more. Her eyes darkened and the two lovers started again.

Author's Note: Whew. Well, there it is. My first sex scene. Glad to finally have that out of the way.

For the first time between Samuel Shepard and Liara T'soni, I wanted to make the scene as romantic and tasteful as possible. No vulgar, crude smut to be found here! Perhaps as time goes on I may experiment with dirtier stuff, but not now.

And on the other side Ben is having to ready our merry band of misfits emotionally. I haven't given Tali too much screen time in this story, and I do regret that. I'll be sure to make up for that in future chapters, as well as future stories. One of the best things about Mass Effect is the bonding of our heroes, and I want to present it as well as I can.

Post any thoughts down below, and let me know of any suggestions for when I cover lemon-y material again. See you round!