Here goes nothing.
"Remember the gallery I signed on with?" I begin. She nods, even though she's looking at the ground again, so I continue. "Well, I was part of a program for new artists, guaranteed pay, a contract…" I pause, hearing how lame my story really is. "And like an idiot, I signed on."
"And then you left," she says.
"No, then I started making all these big plans. I spent a bunch of the money they advanced me, and I had it all worked out. But I signed my fucking life away, and I didn't have a clue. I went to tell my dad the good news, and I…I saw your dad's file."
"File?"
"His health records. The cancer."
I hear her sharp intake of breath and know my time to talk is coming to an end, so I just spit the rest out as fast as I can form the words. "I couldn't tell you. I wanted to tell you! I had a huge fight with my dad. Hell, I had a huge fight with your dad. But I wasn't allowed to say anything, no matter how bad I thought you should know."
"You knew?" she asks, a look of shock, disbelief, undiluted fury on her face.
"I'm sorry," I say, as meaningless as it may be now.
"You're fucking sorry?" she shrieks. "You knew, and you didn't tell me? What the…?" She takes a few steps back, and her hands go to her mouth. Through her fingers, she begins mumbling to herself. "Oh, God…all that time. All that time I should have…and then he just…"
"He didn't want you to know, Bella," I say, not sure how to make her understand, not sure I even understand. "He...I tried to get him to see. I tried." My words come out like a plea, but it doesn't matter.
She's regained her composure, and I see nothing but hate.
"So when did you meet her?" she asks.
"Who?" Yes, I'm that stupid.
"Your other woman," she spits.
"Bella," I sigh. "There was no other woman, no one else but you."
"You're lying," she says without a second's hesitation.
"Charlie was dying, Bella," I explain, "and I was facing a lawsuit if I didn't go to L.A."
"I would have gone with you."
"I know that. I couldn't let you do that. I couldn't let you give up the time with your dad just because I was too stupid to manage my own career."
She laughs then, sounding a little hysterical. "Couldn't let me?" she asks, her voice loud and filled with accusation. "Since when were you my keeper?"
"I was trying to protect you, Bella. I -"
"Good job, there, Cullen," she says, cutting me off.
"It's true."
"You know what? It doesn't matter anymore," she says, folding her arms over her chest. "I don't need you."
"You obviously need something," I tell her, letting my frustration get the best of me.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Fine. It's about time someone gives it to her straight. "In the time I've been here, you haven't been sober once. And you've been with at least three different men-that I know of!"
I hear movement behind me and realize I'm in trouble. Jake's stalking slowly toward me, but I no longer care. Bella's too combative to reason with, and I have to get through to her. And apparently I have, if the sting on my cheek and her retreating hand is any sign. "Is it me? Is it because I came home? Are you trying to prove something?"
"Ha!" she laughs. "Haven't you heard, Edward? This isn't new for me. This is who I am. Be glad you left!"
"I never would have if I'd known this would happen," I tell her. And it's true. I don't know how I would have done things differently, just that I would have.
"Of course," she replies, her voice laced with sarcasm. "Because I would have loved for you to stay out of pity. I'm fine Edward. I'm happy. I have a house and a job and my pick of the men here. What more could I possibly want?"
"Love."
"Fuck you."
And then I'm sprawled across the ground, gravel digging into my palms as I watch Jake's heavy boots stomp by. I don't bother getting up until I can no longer hear the sound of their truck speeding away from me.