CHAPTER 37

I could clearly hear Bella moving around in her room, and so I risked a gentle knock on her door to get her attention.

"Come in," she invited.

I opened the door and then hesitated in the doorway to appreciate the view in front of me. Bella was standing, wrapped in a hotel towel, with one foot resting on a padded stool near the dressing table. Her hands were applying lotion to her raised leg, even as she turned her head towards me with a smile. I tried to pretend that I wasn't staring at the dangerously- high angle the towel cut across her thigh as she stood in that position.

"I… am going to send our wet clothes down to laundry service. I thought I might have my suit steamed. Would you like me to send your dress down as well?"

"That's so thoughtful," Bella smiled. Then she held up her hands, palms-forward, to show me the lotion on them. "Would you mind getting my bag? It's hanging right there."

"No problem," I shook my head. I walked quickly through the room to retrieve our wet clothes from the bathroom sink, and then grabbed her garment bag on my way back to the door.

"Am I running late?" Bella asked. "It will take me forever to dry my hair…"

"We have a little over an hour before we should leave. Unless you need to eat first?"

"No. I am still full from lunch."

"Ok then," I smiled. I needed to get out of the room. The sight of her in that soft white towel was causing me to seriously consider skipping the theatre all together. Fantasy images of me stripping the towel from her body and kissing every exposed inch of her tantalizing skin was creating a need in me that was almost painful. And her scent was nearly as agonizing. Her body was warm from the bath, and the natural scent of her was only heightened by the sweet smell of her shampoo and the lotion that she applied. I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut as I closed the door and leaned against it for a moment. She tempted me in every imaginable way.

My suit and Bella's dress were pressed and returned immediately, with a note that our other clothes would be brought to our room as soon as possible. I opened Bella's bedroom door just wide enough to slide my arm through to place the hanger over the door knob. I wasn't going to risk stepping inside with her in any state of undress again.

"Thank you Edward," Bella called out from somewhere inside the room.

"Thirty-minutes," I reminded her of our departure time. "Would you like a glass of wine before we leave?"

"That sounds wonderful. I'll be out soon," she said.

I poured a glass of wine for her and took it to the balcony. The rain, fortunately, had ceased. A cool, brisk evening was left in its wake. The breeze pushed my hair back and I closed my eyes to enjoy the cleansing freshness of it. When I heard her step behind me, I smiled before I turned.

Bella was a vision.

She didn't need a lot of make-up to improve upon her features. And she didn't use it. The lightest traces of coloring brought attention to her wide eyes and her full mouth. She had captured her hair behind her head in some sort of clip that allowed wild chestnut curls to tumble behind her shoulders and back. And her dress… a simple black dress that exposed her collar bones and the tops of her shoulders with a wide v-shaped neckline that only made her tiny waist look even smaller before the dress fell in soft folds just past her knees. It looked like something Grace Kelly might have worn- or some Hollywood movie starlet from another time. Classy. Elegant.

"Miss Swan," I said, while stepping forward and handing her the glass I held. "You leave me speechless."

She smiled as she accepted the wine and carefully looked me over.

"And you look incredibly handsome," she complimented.

I didn't say anything else. I was afraid anything that tumbled out of my mouth would sound incredibly corny and would leave me looking like a fool. Instead, I just enjoyed the rare beauty in front of me.

Bella took a sip of her drink, and then shrugged her shoulders forward in a self-deprecating gesture before looking down at her feet.

"I'm sure I'll probably break my leg trying to walk in these on the cobblestones."

I looked down at her delicate, strappy, high-heeled shoes.

"Don't worry Bella. I won't let you fall."

"Thanks." Her smile was genuine.

"But, you might want to start out with them fastened correctly," I suggested. I had noticed the thin strap around her left foot was not buckled properly. I knelt quickly in front of Bella and turned her ankle in my hand- securing the shoe for her.

I let my hands linger on the soft skin above her shoe, trailing my eyes up her smooth calf to her hemline. In a moment, I felt Bella tentatively touch the top of my head. Afraid I had offended her, I slowly released her foot. But I didn't rise. I just closed my eyes at the sensation that Bella created when she began lightly brushing her fingers through my hair.

I could have hummed with the pleasure that her simple touch evoked, and nearly did. I was quite literally, at her feet. When her hand stalled, I finally looked up at her.

"Sorry," she whispered while looking down into my eyes.

"Please- don't be," I implored. I didn't want her to be sorry, for anything. I didn't want her to have any regrets. It was one of the only reasons that prevented me from pulling her down against me and taking her mouth with mine. Alice said she had a vision of Bella asking me to kiss her. Surely I could wait for that invitation if it would mean that Bella would hate me less afterward. She might not consider me so selfish for taking what was freely offered. Shouldn't I wait for that opportunity? I would. I could wait. But still…

My head turned at the sharp sound of a knock at the suite door. Bella sighed loudly.

"Laundry service," I guessed as I stood. "They're probably returning our clean clothes."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Bella finish her wine in two long gulps. I answered the summons at the door and placed our folded laundry on the table beside my car keys and the valet receipt until it could be re-packed later.

"Are you ready to go?" Bella asked, with a polite though slightly distant-looking smile.

"Yes," I grinned, trying to alleviate some of the tension I felt between us. I placed my hand on the small of her back as I guided her out the door. For a few more hours, I would take Alice's advice. I would try to relax. I would have fun. The night would be mine to make what I would of it.

The distance to the theatre was a short ride by cab. I basked in the luxury of normalcy as I led Bella through the crowd of patrons who were also there to enjoy the evening's performance. Excited thoughts swirled around me, and I imagined Bella's internal tone to match those of the minds I could easily read. Her cheeks were flushed pink and she was positively glowing under the soft theatre lights. I kept my arm around her proudly, with my hand resting on her lower back, as I led the way to our balcony seats.

"It's so beautiful," Bella smiled, motioning towards the renovated architectural adornment that helped to make the Opera House such a lovely venue.

When the lights dimmed, I reached over and took Bella's hand in mine. It was perfect.

The music and the story were familiar to me. I had seen the play before. I took much greater delight in watching Bella's reaction to the performance. She smiled, she laughed, she shuddered and she sighed. She was a joy to watch.

We strolled through the lobby during intermission. Bella talked animatedly about the performance thus far, and I soaked up her enthusiasm, adding my own comments about this particular performance. When an observant young man walked by and allowed his thoughts to consider Bella a little too intimately, I wrapped my arm around her waist possessively and sent him scurrying away with a dark look. Bella smiled, unaware, and leaned further into my side.

Back at our seats, she mimicked the same posture by leaning against me and resting her cheek on my shoulder. I held one arm loosely around her, pleased that she allowed me this near-embrace. When I let my fingers trace light designs on her shoulder, she shivered but nestled closer to me. She did not move away.

Bella did not shift position until Act II, scene Seven. I admit, The Point of No Return was a song that would have drawn my attention as well, had I not been completely intrigued by watching Bella's emotions chase across her face. "Our games of make-believe are at an end…" The Phantom sang so plaintively. Bella leaned forward, entranced by the performance on the stage. I, in turn, was entranced by her.

The stage lighting reflected upon the pools of moisture that had formed over Bella's beautiful chocolate-brown eyes. She took a shuddering breath as one jewel-like tear tumbled past her lashes and drew a silver line down toward the corner of her mouth. I wished I could read her thoughts. I wanted to truly understand the emotional connection she felt to the music that caused this response in her.

Curious, intrigued, and enraptured, I put my finger out to gently capture the tear on her cheek. I stared at the crystalline droplet for a moment before bringing it to my mouth and touching the salty liquid to the tip of my tongue.

Bella gasped softly, and my eyes flew guiltily to hers. Her eyes still glistened with unshed tears, though her attention was stolen from the stage and was fully on me. Her mouth had formed a pink "o" in surprise, and I inhaled sharply. Then, like magnets, our faces moved toward one another.

Bella's long lashes fluttered down, and I looked at her mouth longingly. I was willing the words to come. Would she ask me to kiss her? Would this be the invitation I had waited for? Or had I unintentionally changed the course of the path we were on? Perhaps Alice's original vision had been altered, and I was waiting for a request from Bella that would never come! I pressed my lips together with sudden determination. I would wait no more. Surely Bella would be safe here, against any of my urges that might surface? We sat surrounded by a theatre of witnesses. My selfishness would finally win out. I would take this moment for my own. I touched my lips with my tongue in anticipation and held my breath as I moved closer.

My hesitation, however, had not gone un-noticed. Bella opened her eyes and blinked up at me. In a second, her brows lowered with an emotion that looked to be a mix of confusion and consternation. I parted my lips to speak.

"Wait," I wanted to say. But Bella had already moved her head and was looking around both sides of her. She avoided my eyes, and found her small black purse. And then she gritted her teeth and stood abruptly.

I could hear angrily hissed whispers and annoyed internal comments about rudeness and bad etiquette as Bella began making her way to the aisle. She offered hushed apologies as she stepped over the legs of the people in the seats beside us. I sat, stunned. I had no idea what had just occurred that angered Bella enough to get up and leave in the middle of a musical number. I was completely at a loss as to the protocol of how to handle the situation. Maybe I should give her a few minutes and wait for her to return? By the end of the song, my anxiety would allow me to wait no longer. I stood while the audience offered applause, and followed her path to the balcony exit.

The hallway was deserted. I could hear the play's progression behind the closed doors that I passed as I followed Bella's scent down the richly carpeted stairs. She didn't stop at the restrooms. I followed her trail straight through the lobby to the main doors. Bella had left the theatre entirely.

I felt a frown pull across my features as I pushed my way through the heavy glass doors. I was propelled forward with an urgent need to find her, but frustrated by her irrational behavior. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Her scent was diluted by the night air, but I was able to ascertain that she had turned right and was walking in the direction of our hotel. My worry for her safety was tinged with annoyance for her reckless action. She had no reason good enough for being so fool-hardy as to leave the safety of the theatre, to walk alone in a strange city at night!

I walked quickly, breathing in short bursts to ensure that I was still moving in the right direction. Suddenly her scent became stronger to me. I knew that she was near. And then, I could hear her.

I rounded the corner into a dark alley, and found Bella leaning with her back against the brick wall. She was angrily wiping tears away from her face with the back of her hand.

"Bella," I exclaimed with a loudly expelled breath. "What in the world were you thinking?"

I was working hard to check the emotions that were threatening to run over. Confusion, worry, irritation, concern…"Why did you leave?" I could hear that my voice sounded angry. But my controlled façade was becoming difficult to maintain under the circumstances.

"What do you care? Go away!" Bella sniffed angrily.

"Of course I care!" My voice had risen in volume. "Why else would I be out here, trying to find you? You can not just wander the city streets alone!"

"Yeah, yeah. I get it," she shrugged her voice was bitter. "You feel protective of me. Like a friend… like I'm your sister!" She spat the last word out as though it were dirty. I was completely befuddled by her harsh tone.

"My feelings for you are hardly fraternal," I warned lowly, gritting my teeth. We were both breathing heavily as we faced off.

"Then what is it?" Bella threw her hands up in exasperation. "Are you not attracted to me at all?"

"Have you gone mad?" I allowed my voice to get louder still. My hands clenched at my sides. This silly, frustrating girl was being completely absurd. "How can you not know how attracted I am to you? I've been doing my best to… be respectful and keep my hands off you since we got here! I don't even think I have the strength to stay away from you anymore!"

"Then don't!" She yelled at me. Bella's chest rose and fell harshly with her rapid breaths. And I wasn't going to wait for more of an invitation than that. I closed the gap between us with more speed than a normal person could manage. And before either of us could be distracted or change our minds, I pushed my hands into the back of her hair and fairly slammed her back against the brick wall.

The black and white movie scenes in my mind had always played this situation out differently. Sometimes Bella and I would be sitting in a lovely spring meadow of flowers when we shared our first kiss. Sometimes in my imagination, she would pull me toward her in her bedroom for that magical moment. Hell- after we watched Sixteen Candles together, I even imagined the slow-motion kiss while we bent towards each other over a birthday cake. But every scenario that had played itself in my mind was always slow, and tender. I approached her with caution and with care.

This… was not like that.

At all.

Bella's startled gasp didn't stop me. If anything, it encouraged me. I was briefly aware of being thankful that my hands cradled the back of her head so that it wouldn't be hurt when I shoved her against the wall. Because when our bodies collided, rational thought left me completely.

With my hands in Bella's thick hair, I angled her head up to the side to give myself better access to those lips that had haunted my waking dreams. And then I finally crashed my mouth to hers.

A wave of pent-up longing and lust wrecked me the moment that our lips met. I groaned against her mouth and shoved my hips against hers. Maybe now she would understand the desires that I had hoped to shelter her from.

But Bella wasn't afraid. She sighed my name against my mouth and reached up to twist her fingers in my hair, pulling me closer. Her response thrilled me and made me want more.

I was no longer able to contain my emotions. Brick by brick the wall came down, leaving me shaken and exposed. But my need for her surpassed it all. The confusion, the anxiety, the worry… all was replaced by this violent craving I had. Not for her blood. No. I felt like laughing. My male desires for this woman were stronger than any pull I felt towards the blood rushing through her veins. Though her scent still swirled around me and tempted me… sent flames burning down my throat… the raw sexual need I had for her was stronger still. I pulled my hands from her hair and gripped her hips roughly, pulling her against my body.

Bella gasped at the sharp contact. I took advantage of her surprise and tasted her bottom lip. Because I still could not detect any venom in my mouth, I proceeded to deepen our kiss. A soft growl started in my chest when Bella opened her mouth for me, and allowed me to trace the edge of her teeth with my tongue. I breathed my cool breath against her and she shivered, but did not loosen her hold in my hair.

When her tongue darted out to meet mine, I pressed one hand behind her on the wall to help myself remain upright. Her complete and utter surrender to me was my undoing, and I feasted on her mouth like a starving man.

A small voice inside my head began persistently telling me I'd had enough- that I should take the moment and seal it away as a perfect memory to last me throughout time. That same voice started reminding me that I was no better than a thief, stealing this from Bella. She didn't know that she was offering herself to a monster. But I didn't want to stop. And I didn't want to give her a reason to push me away. I could only hope to offer her every truth I could in the kiss. I gave her the best excuse I had and prayed that she would someday find comfort in knowing how much it really meant to me.

The walls were down. I couldn't control my emotions if I tried.

"I love you," I ground against her mouth. "I love you. I love you." And then my lips plundered hers again. Bella slipped her hands from my hair, but only to grip the lapels of my jacket. Her soft lips moved under my onslaught and her hips rocked against mine. My thoughts had taken a very different turn when the worst thing I could imagine cut through the haze around me.

I drug my lips from Bella with a groan and pressed my forehead to hers. We were both breathing heavily. But I pressed my eyes shut. I could feel the distinct prickling sensation at the back of my mouth, and could taste the venom that was beginning to coat my teeth. Bella licked her puffy-lips and tilted her face to kiss me again. But I fisted my hands onto the wall above her head and turned my face away. Why? Why was this happening? I thought for sure that my body's reaction toward Bella was more human in nature. Yet, I could feel the muscles in my back tightening, the venom pooling in the back of my mouth. And rage. Rage was the most dominant feeling coursing through my body abolishing the rest. Rage that I was being denied what I wanted most. I curled my lip, inhaling deeply to try to control myself.

It was then that I realized we were not alone. I spun quickly, crouching low and putting my arms behind me- trapping Bella within their confines as she still stood against the wall.

"Edward? What is it?" Her voice sounded nervous.

"Shhh…" I warned. And then I hissed quietly as three men walked toward us from the shadowy corner. My vampiric reaction was to the threat that these men offered. It had nothing to do with Bella.

I summed up the danger of the situation and slowly rose to a standing position. My first priority was to keep Bella safe. I wasn't sure what weapons the men carried. But I could tell by the thoughts of the man in the lead that he was only pretending to have a gun in his pocket. Anything they chose to brandish when facing me would be ineffective, of course. But I needed to keep them away from Bella.

"Well, well… I hope we aren't interrupting," the tallest man sneered.

"You are," I stated distinctly. I would give them anything they wanted, and send them on their way. But I would not let them believe for a moment that they intimidated me.

"Pretty boy is pissed off that he's left with blue-balls," the man laughed behind him toward his cohorts.

"Look at her. Can you blame him?" The smaller, dark haired man on his side lewdly rubbed the front of his pants while he looked over my shoulder toward Bella. I shifted to stand between them automatically.

"Bella, hand me your purse," I said quietly. I reached my hand over my shoulder and she placed her purse into my palm without argument. I held it forward and spoke calmly as I reached toward my inner pocket. "My wallet is here," I mentioned while keeping my hands where they could see them. "Take the money and go."

They allowed me to retrieve my wallet, and I tossed it along with Bella's purse to the ground near the tallest man's feet.

"Bella, that's a pretty name," said the third man. He was closing the distance on Bella's opposite side. I slid my feet closer to him on the sidewalk, keeping my eye on the other two.

"You should take me up on that offer," I quietly warned. "Pick up the money and go, while I still let you."

All three men laughed loudly. A scared sob broke forth from Bella's lips that enraged me. The same sweet mouth that had been offered to me just minutes before… stolen from me by these pigs. I curled my fingers into claws and felt a growl building up in my chest.

"What do you say, darlin? Want to come see how it feels to be with a real man?"

The growl in my chest was growing slow and steadily into a snarl and I bared my teeth.

"Fuck you!" Bella spat. I would have smiled at her determined and feisty retort, had I not been so completely incensed by the insult of his suggestion.

"That's all I'm askin," he smiled through yellowed teeth. Then the man made the mistake of lunging towards Bella. When his arm extended past my shoulder, I twisted and grabbed his wrist before smashing the palm of my hand up and against his elbow- breaking his arm. He yelled in agony and grabbed his arm, tripping backward in his haste.

Bella's scream pierced through the night and nearly rendered me immobile with terror. I turned my head, fearing the worst. Her wide brown eyes stared wide open with shock and fear. But she was unharmed. I saw then, that she was not screaming because of any personal injury. She had seen what I had missed while dealing with the man who had tried to touch her.

The man on my left had pulled a large switch blade knife from his jacket pocket and was swinging it in a wild arc in my direction. Bella screamed again as the knife sliced through my jacket and my shirt. After all she had witnessed, she was still afraid for my safety. When the knife met the impenetrable skin of my chest, the blade snapped and broke. The man jarred his wrist on the impact, and wrapped his other hand around it when he dropped the knife with a curse. The first man hurried to pick up my wallet and Bella's purse before all three turned to run away.

I crouched there, quivering with the need to follow them. My defenses were completely down and I wanted nothing more than to give in to the violent urges to tear them apart piece by bloody piece. I would enjoy their screams when I delivered the punishment they deserved for frightening Bella, and for ruining the most important moment I'd ever had.

It was too much. The rage I felt, compiled with my earlier lapse in emotional control. I was shaking and unstable. When Bella placed her hand on my shoulder, I cringed from the contact. I needed to control myself. I needed to get a grip, quickly.

"Are you, ok?" She sounded breathless. I laughed, trying to put her at ease. But the hoarse sound sounded false to my ears.

"I'm fine," I promised.

"How?" Bella sounded confused. She moved around me. My feet were cemented in place as I struggled to root myself to the sidewalk and not chase after the bastards who had just fled. "How? I saw the knife…" Her eyes darted down the front of my jacket, to the large slash marks that clearly showed my skin beneath.

"It… must have been a fake knife," I lied. It wasn't even a good lie. I was so full of the desire to chase and torture and kill that I couldn't come up with something better to distract her from the evidence.

Bella frowned at my weak attempt and brought her fingers up to the gash in my shirt. Without hesitation, she roughly pulled the material away from itself with a fierce rip. And then she stared in wonder at my unmarked skin beneath.

"How?" She asked again. Confusion turned to anger as she looked up at me. "HOW is this possible? I saw the knife cut you. How are you not hurt?" Fear laced her questions as she stood there, begging for understanding.

I felt broken. I couldn't do it any longer. I lowered my head and looked at the ground, shaking it back and forth in denial of what I was about to do.

"You know." My voice was quiet. My admission was tortured. "You already know."

"No," Bella spoke firmly. I looked up to see the stubborn refusal stamped across her features.

"You know what I am," I insisted. She shook her head violently, fighting herself, refusing to piece together the truth she must face.

"No," she said again, more firmly. And then she put her head down, searching the ground at our feet.

"What are you doing?" I asked. I saw as she bent to pick up the broken knife. Perhaps she wanted to see for herself, that it was real. But as she lifted her hand towards the broken edge, I yelled. "DON'T!"

It was too late. Bella cut her finger against the sharp broken blade.

"Oh!" she exclaimed as the red blood bubbled to the surface and blazed a red ribbon down her finger.

The scent of her released blood slammed into me with a force that I could not fathom. My defenses were down. I was weakened by trying to control my urges already. And the blood-lust that overwhelmed me at that moment was more than I could bear. I turned and faced the brick wall… holding my breath and squeezing my eyes shut to try to ignore the killing urge. My fingers clawed into the wall as if it could anchor me there and keep me from attacking her. The bricks were not sturdy enough, and I felt them crumpling to dust under the force of my grip.

"Leave me," I growled, facing away from her. I needed her to go before I hurt her. I needed her to run, far and fast, while I could still keep myself from diving onto her throat and drinking every delicious drop of the blood that filled my senses like no other. I needed her to take me seriously, and to understand the very real situation between us. I could hear her hesitation. It would be her nature to come to me, to reach out for me and to try to comfort me. So I turned and glared in her direction. "LEAVE ME!" The growl tore through my teeth and my chest heaved as I yelled my anguished warning to her. I closed my eyes to force away the image of the raw fear that flashed across her face. And then, like the sound of my salvation, I heard her heels clicking on the pavement as she did as I demanded.

Bella ran.

I stood there, clenching the rubble of ruined brick in my fists as the sounds of her footfall faded into the city noises. Then I finally slumped down upon myself. I wrapped my arms around my knees and tried to shrink into the dark shadows of the alley. Theatre patrons were leaving, walking noisily past me. Umbrellas opened as it began to rain. It soaked through me, washing away Bella's scent. Busy pieces of conversation and laughter floated past where I remained hidden from their humanity- crouched in the dark like the animal I was.

It tortured me to know that I had been forced to send Bella running into dark city streets that were unfamiliar and unsafe. And it tortured me more to know, that any danger she might encounter would be better than the danger she faced had she stayed with me.

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