Veld hadn't waited to find out that I hadn't died. Some part of me wasn't surprised and that was the part that kept my tongue in check when I was talking with my replacement. That didn't mean that it didn't hurt, it just meant that I had the strength in me to keep going after I knew that I'd been abandoned, literally left for dead.

Audrey was perturbed by my seeming calm. He kept trying to comfort me because he thought I ought to be more upset that I acted. I brushed him off, though not without affection. I didn't want anyone's sympathy, the very thought of accepting that made me feel weak. I didn't want to feel weak because my imagined strength was all I had left.

"I want to visit Lucretia before we go home," I said when Audrey asked what we were going to do next. We'd spent a week in Midgar because Audrey didn't think it was wise to turn around a leave directly after arriving. It would raise too many suspicions, he said.

"Didn't you learn your lesson the first time?" Audrey sighed. "Do you really think it's going to be any different visiting your other friends? They all think you're dead. Maybe you should leave it at that."

"This is different," I insisted. "Lucretia's my friend, not my lover..." I stopped and thought about what her being my lover would imply, then shook my head. It was completely irrelevant. "It's not like I care who she associates herself with when I'm not around."

"Except ShinRa, of course," Audrey pointed out. "Do you know how many goons they'd send out after you if they knew you were alive. You've already been legally declared dead. That means the law can't touch you; you don't exist. If I realize what sort of things you can do with that, I'm sure ShinRa's thought up ten times as much. They won't let you live long this way. It's far easier to just kill you than... Well, they tried killing you already, what makes you think they won't try again?"

"Thank you for the lecture, Audrey," I said shortly. "But I'm a grown woman and can make decisions for myself. If you won't take me to Nibelheim to see Lucretia, I'll go by myself."

"The hell you will," Audrey grumbled. "Fine, we'll leave in the morning."

We did, but when we arrived in Nibelheim things didn't get any easier. Lucretia had begun keeping the strangest of hours the week before and no one knew exactly where to find her. She'd been going about almost as if in a dream and they weren't sure that she knew what she was doing herself.

That made it difficult to locate my scientist friend. Mentally, I cursed Vincent. I wondered what had made him slack off on his job so much as to let Lucretia wander around. It wasn't safe for her and his job was to protect her. I remembered that before Lucretia had forbidden his interference in her work, but this was to the point where I didn't think it should matter what Lucretia did or did not allow.

Audrey and I had gone looking for her and after several unsuccessful guesses reached her office. We were about to knock when we heard a gun go off. Audrey was inside the room first.

"Claudie, don't come in," he warned.

"Too late," I replied, having stepped over the threshold. "What's the matter? What was that gunshot?"

"Oh, I forgot. You can't see," Audrey said weakly. "Your, ah, scientist friend...she..." He trailed off and I heard him walk a few steps. I kept listening, hoping he'd elaborate more, but he didn't speak again.

It was about then that I smelled the blood. It overwhelmed me for a moment and I thought I would vomit. Then, recovering, I began to panic.

"What's happened here?" I asked. "Lucretia?" I felt for a wall, and finding one, I tried to cross the room.

"Stop, Claudie," Audrey said. "Just stay there. I'm going to find someone to clean this up. Promise me you won't move from that spot."

"What's happened?" I asked more forcefully.

"Claudie? Is that you?" this was a weak female voice. I couldn't actually recognize it but since we were looking for Lucretia and this woman knew my name, I suspected it was my friend. "Does this mean I died?"

"No," I told her. "I'm alive."

"Oh," Lucretia sounded disappointed.

"Amazing," Audrey breathed. "I thought for sure she was..."

"No," Lucretia replied forlornly. "This isn't the first time that I've tried, either."