Chapter 38: The Jury Decides

Las Noches Tribe…

Cameraman J is especially bored this morning, considering that none of the remaining survivors are actively trying to kill each other…or him for that matter. In fact, Hanataro and Gin aren't doing much of anything other than playing with their respective pets and contemplating the upcoming Jury vote.

Luckily, Hanataro has now recovered from his injuries. Gin is still as ditzy, goofy, wimpy, and as fluffy as usual. As much as I hate to relay this information…he's back in the red bikini he was wearing at the start of the show.

I know…I think I might be sick too…

Somewhere on the Island…

Haruhi is ahead of the former tree bound and now completely lost survivors. Just behind her, glaring at each other, is Byakuya and Uryu. Walking behind them, carrying the still comatose Soi Fon, is Szayel and Hisagi. Tosen is dragging a mumbling Rangiku along, while Toshiro, Momo and Chad drag along a hogtied and gagged Iba.

Haruhi is still pissed at Iba but she is containing it well. Besides after being thrown in a tree, bugged by numerous hollows, flew through a hurricane, fought off some Adjuchas, survived being chased by a Vasto Lorde, and even went to far as to give her uncle a good thrashing…a little stuck up brown-haired bimbo is really nothing worth bothering about. Still, Haruhi is scratching at her last nerve so she has finally gotten with Tosen and the two of them have devised a plan.

In fact, they are on their way to said plan now. With all the hell that group has been through I certainly hope this works out better than the aerosol canned cheese idea…

Tribal Council Area…

Aizen is back in his usual good spirits and appears to have located his former wardrobe to boot. He's back in his white Espada coat, white shirt, white hakama, purple sash, and even has his normal slick backed brown hair combed to perfection. He's grinning more evilly than usual it seems.

A few minutes later Hanataro, with Kaiba, Fluffy and Liu Kang, wanders into the area. Liu Kang, it would appear likes Hanataro much better than he liked Yoruichi. I guess Hanataro just has a way with animals, or in this case, Hollows. Gin comes skipping in a few seconds later, followed by Samus. Yea, the female plant monster is still creeping me out as well.

Anyway…

"Well now, here we are." Aizen smirked looking over our two remaining survivors. "The final two. How do you feel?"

"Pretty good." Hanataro smiles, patting Kaiba on the head. "Although Gin and his plant are still creeping me out."

"Yeah well, it's creeping me out too, and I'm an evil bastard." Aizen shudders slightly and turns his attention to Gin. "Oh dear god! Put some freaking clothes on!"

While Aizen, and many, many, viewers at home get violently ill, some of the show's crewman arrive on the scene with some spare clothing…

- Commercial Break -

"Hello." A very buff and extremely rugged looking man steps out in front of the camera, he is dressed in black shinigami robes. "Are you looking for a job where you get to swing your swords all day?"

The screen fades out, showing several Soul Reapers using their zanpakuto against the Hollows, Menos Grandes and Adjuchas. The Soul Reapers are laughing and drinking beer as the obviously monsters die, rather ridiculously easy I might add.

"Do you want to be paid obscene amounts of money for very little work?"

The screen changes to a Soul Reaper just as he blows away a nearby, and again CGI, hollow. As the dead hollow hits the floor, a woman in a very low cut dress hands the Soul Reaper three large stacks of hundred dollar bills.

"Then I have just the job for you!"

The screen switches back to the rugged looking recruiter as a blonde woman in a bikini struts into the scene holding a large sign which reads: Join Gotei 13…earn big bucks…do very little work…IT'S FUN!

"Join the ranks of Soul Society's elite today!"

As the screen fades to black the ad finishes off with the telephone number and a little message:

1-800-GOTEI-13-WANTS-YOU

Gotei 13…we still find the Espada heartless morons…

- Back to the Show -

Aizen, and the viewers at home, are now feeling better. This is of course thanks to the fact that Gin, pissed though he is, is now dressed in a pair of blue jeans and an black tee-shirt. Incidentally the tee-shirt says: Aizen for Supreme World Leader! The slogan does not go unnoticed by Hanataro.

"Uh, Aizen, question." Hanataro asked.

"Yes?" Aizen said.

"What is it with you and this Supreme World Leader shit?"

"I'm evil, it's what I do."

"Uh…that isn't much of an answer you know." Hanataro cocks his head. "Why the hell are you evil anyway?"

"Evilness is in my blood!" Aizen holds out his arms, laughing insanely. "It's marching through my veins like…RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS!"

Hanataro, Gin, and all the pets stare at Aizen like he has finally and truly lost his mind. Aizen lets his evil laughter trail off, then coughs.

"Now then, we'll bring in the jury." Aizen said. Renji leads the way, followed by Ulquiorra, Urahara, Orihime, Rukia, Grimmjow, Ichigo and Yoruichi. The eight former survivors take their seats on some conveniently placed risers to Hanataro and Gin's right. They look pretty good actually, as the producers let them out of the cage shortly before the show started so they could take a shower and get a change of clothes.

Renji is now back in his white headband, black Shinigami robes and his lieutenant armband wrapped around his left arm. Ulquiorra is now wearing a white shirt that says 'I love NY' on it and a pair of black pants. Urahara is now wearing a straw hat, a sleeveless red shirt, blue shorts and clogs. Why is he dressed like that? I don't know. Maybe it's because he's a huge fan of One Piece. Orihime is now wearing a beautiful red Chinese dress. Rukia is now wearing a white tank top and a light blue miniskirt. Grimmjow is now wearing a black suit, white shirt, black pants and black shoes. Ichigo is now wearing a white Houston Rockets jersey and blue jeans while Yoruichi is now wearing a black bikini top and a red miniskirt. Of course, Rukia's and Yoruichi's outfits are causing several male viewers at home to drool.

"Now then." Aizen clears his throat. "You two will be able to make an opening statement, then each jury member will ask you questions that will no doubt embarrass you and make my night that much more enjoyable, and then when that is over with you two will make your closing arguments. Any questions…no…good. Hanataro, since you won the last immunity challenge, you get to go first."

Hanataro blinks at Aizen for a few moments, wondering if he's going to make another crazy outburst, then finally clears his throat.

"Well, I think you should vote for me because I really wasn't responsible for voting any of you off, with the exception of Yoruichi of course…sorry about that. And, because Gin is a fluff with bad fashion sense. Thank you."

Gin glares at Hanataro, but decides that perhaps the little coward could easily kick his ass. Instead he makes his opening statement.

"I think you should vote for me because Hanataro is a coward who doesn't have the balls to fight the Espada and always runs for his dear life."

What happens next is not that surprising…Hanataro jumps onto Gin…

Meanwhile…

After walking, for what seems like hours but was really only about thirty minutes, the former tree bound survivors find themselves on the outskirts of a clearing. Although, they are still well hidden in the tree line. Carefully they peek through the foliage and are more than slightly surprised by what greets them. There, in the middle of the clearing, is a large restaurant, called The Hueco Mundo Restaurant and Bar, three large choppers, several trucks, and about a dozen Survivor crewmen are either milling about or sitting in the restaurant's patio drinking.

"Alright, here's the plan." Haruhi said as she quickly lays out the plan, expressing how grateful she is that Tosen was paying more than a little attention during the last immunity challenge. It seems that when the chopper showed up to break up the chaotic fight, and get Aizen some medical attention, Tosen paid close attention to where it had come from. He then got together with Haruhi and the two of them came up with a plan to steal one of the choppers and escape the island.

Though not very happy about letting Mr. Shades loose, Haruhi untied the very irate Iba. As soon as the gag and ropes come off, Iba goes on a full on rant. Which annoys the hell out of everybody.

"Oh you guys are so going to get it! Do you know who I am?! Why I'm the president of the Shinigami Men's Association and lieutenant of the seventh division. When my captain Komamura hears about what you guys did to me, I'll…"

While Iba is busy ranting, Haruhi sneaks up behind him, pulling out the can of aerosol cheese they had before used for the Help message. Using her bio-enhanced speed, she wrote a message on Iba's back and tossed the now empty can into some nearby bushes. Incidentally the message reads: Free Food…Please Eat Me!

As Iba goes on to explain all the horrible things Komamura is going to do to them, the former survivors take two steps away from him as a loud crash echoes across the island. Seconds later, the Vasto Lorde crashes into the scene, knocking over several trees. Iba lets out a blood curdling scream and does exactly what Haruhi and Tosen were anticipating…she ran full tilt into the clearing.

The former tree bound survivors watched the pandemonium with much glee involved.

- Another Commercial -

"Are you looking for fine family cuisine?"

Halibel, smiling widely, trots out in front of the camera. She smiles at the camera as a Hollow, dressed like a waiter, shambles out to stand next to her.

"Then come to the Hueco Mundo Restaurant and Bar. We served only the finest hand-made food and cuisine that the Espada has to offer. Not only that, but your dinner will be served by authentic hollows."

Halibel pats the hollow waiter on the head. In response the hollow attacks, trying to eat her. As Halibel screams bloody murder, the scene is hastily replaced by a cute little jingle and an add for the restaurant. Five seconds later Halibel goes running through the screen, still being chased by the hollow…

- Back to the Show -

Hanataro and Gin both look like they've been run over by Mack trucks. Gin's condition is of course due to the beating he received from Hanataro. Hanataro's current physical problems stem from Aizen beating the hell out of him, really for no good reason but he claims it was to keep Hanataro from killing Gin. Anyway, now that the respective beatings are over, Renji is the first to step down and ask his questions.

"Do you feel that you have played this game well or feel that you were just lucky?" Renji asked.

"Yes, of course we played well, dammit." Hanataro groaned.

"What Hanataro said." Gin said.

Renji growled. He was expecting Hanataro and Gin to give him more detailed answer, but he just shrugged and walks back to his seat. Urahara steps down next, he flips some hair out of his face and clears his throat.

"Gin, who do you think is cuter, me or Orihime?"

Gin's eyes go extremely wide. Needless to say this is a really tough decision for him. On one hand there is his undying devotion to Orihime, on the other hand there is a million dollars at stake.

"Uh…you?"

There is a loud scream of anger from the Jury and Orihime does a flying leap to land on Gin's head. After ten minutes of her beating the shit out of him, Aizen steps in and jerks Orihime off. He tosses her into a nearby empty cage and dusts his hands off, smirking evilly.

"Proceed." Aizen said to Urahara.

"Hanataro, do you think I'm sexier than Yoruichi?" Urahara asked.

"Uh…sure, why not?" Hanataro said dumbfounded. Urahara squeals with joy and sits down. Yoruichi is now glaring daggers at Hanataro, of course Hanataro wasn't exactly counting on her vote in the first place. Grimmjow steps down next and clears his throat.

"Gin, Hanataro, who are the first five presidents of the United States?" Grimmjow asked. This causes Hanataro, Gin, Aizen and the other jury members to stare at Grimmjow dumbfounded.

"What kind of question is that?!" Aizen shrieked.

"Um, the first five presidents are George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and James Monroe." Hanataro said.

"Thanks!" Grimmjow smiled and sits back down on his seat. Next up is Ichigo. He steps down looks at the two men and opts to just make a statement.

"I think Gin is just a freaky little person."

He then sits down and Ulquiorra is next. He opts to not even make a statement, so does Yoruichi, who still looks exceptionally pissed off. So Rukia trots down, smiling happily at the two men.

"Alright. Hanataro, do you think I look sexy in this outfit?" Rukia said, placing her hands on her hips.

"Sure, baby. Why not?" Hanataro said, drooling.

Rukia squeals like a fangirl. "Thank you Hanataro-Chan! Now for you Gin, is it true you like Orihime just a little too much?"

"Not anymore…besides, I finally realize my true crush is Rangiku, not that psycho bimbo." Gin scowled.

This answer is met by loud curses and shrieks from the nearby cage. Rukia smiles and takes her seat. Aizen doesn't bother to let Orihime speak. Instead he motions for Hanataro and Gin to speak. Hanataro of course goes first.

"Well no matter what very cowardly things I've done…Gin is still a freaky little plant monster loving troll."

Gin lets out a high pitched squeak and jumps onto Hanataro.

Aizen sighed and turns to the jury. "Alright jury, it is time to vote which lucky guy will win the million dollar prize. Oh and this time, please only vote once. We are now running out of papers thanks to you tree-killing bastards. Renji, you're up."

As Hanataro and Gin continues fighting, Renji stood up from his seat and walks over to the pot. He writes down a name and holds up the card.

"Hanataro. Congratulations, you ARE the ultimate survivor." Renji smiles as he puts the card into the pot.

Yoruichi is next. She walks up to the pot and writes a name on the card. She then holds up the card.

"Hanataro, I'm still pissed of you, so for my revenge, I'm voting for Gin. Hope you die a horrible death!"

Ichigo walks up to the pot and writes a name on the card. He smirks at the camera.

"You just don't know when to give up, don't cha?" He then holds up the card, revelaing he has voted for Hanataro. He puts the card into the pot.

Ulquiorra walks out to the pot and writes a name down on the card. He holds up the card.

"Gin, despite all the retarded things you have done on the show. I admit, you truly are the ultimate survivor." Ulquiorra then puts the card into the pot.

Grimmjow, Rukia, Urahara and Orihime have all voted as well. But I'm not gonna tell who they voted for, since it will spoil the suspense.

Finally, Aizen bops Hanataro and Gin on the head with a rolled up magazine, almost knocking them unconscious. He then cleared his throat. "I'll read out the votes." He walks over to the pot, grabs it and placed it in front of Hanataro and Gin. He then graces all those present with the most malicious smirk displayed throughout the entire series.

"Now I know you are just dying to see the results of the vote…well, life's a bitch isn't it?"

While everyone present stares, Aizen heads out of the tribal council area carrying the pot. He then crawls inside a waiting chopper and leaves the island…

Next Time on Survivor…

Back on the mainland, we will discover who is the winner…

The former tree bound survivors make it back to the mainland and wreck havoc at the reunion show…

Aizen pushes his evilness to the limit…

Who Votes Who:

Renji: Hanataro

Yoruichi: Gin

Ichigo: Hanataro

Ulquiorra: Gin

Grimmjow: ???

Rukia: ???

Urahara: ???

Orihime: ???

Ryo: Haha! I ended this chapter with a cliffhanger. I'm so evil, am I?! Muahahahaha! (clears throat) Anyways, next chapter is the reunion show and the final chapter of the story (Sobs) I can't believe this story is finally about to be over. Anyways, stay tune and find out who is the winner of the one million dollar prize! Read and review! Also, Aizen saying RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS! is a reference to Invader Zim. Heh.