.
.
"I'll bet anything that one's Ronon." Rodney points to the screen, pulling up a location he matched to the frequencies used by the old Wraith implant they had taken out of him.
"Why?" John peers at it, "How do you know?"
"That's Sateda. It's Ronon's home planet."
John pats him on the back, "Good job Rodney, I thought maybe we'd lost him for good."
"Well, it wasn't easy matching the subspace calibrations," Rodney smiles smugly, "but like I said, you stick to your bad jokes and leave the brilliant science stuff to me."
"Look, you can't go and get all jabbed in the ass and not expect some teasing about it." John shakes his head, "Now, let's go bring Ronon home."
"It wasn't a jab," Rodney objects on the way to the Gateroom, "It was more like a huge, a very PAINFUL, stabbing of the uh, uh, Gluteus Maximus."
"You're going to be the butt of the joke for a while around here." John tells him with a smirk, "Get used to it."
Rodney rolls his eyes, "Well then, don't expect any sympathy from me next time you get shot or whatever."
"Well if it's a little arrow, sticking out of my butt," John shrugs, "I don't think I'd be making such a fuss... carrying around my little 'butt pillow' and talking about it all the time."
"I'll have you know that pillow is next to useless." Rodney whines, "I can't even sit down!"
"Can't wait to tell Ronon all about it." John laughs, "Okay, once we know we can get a positive lock, I'll start putting a few teams together. You rest up and try not to chaffe any more of your sensitive areas."
Only when Rodney dials the gate address it doesn't lock, he looks at John apologetically, "The Wraith must be keeping it open from their side."
"Then we go after him with the Daedalus." John decides, calling for an immediate briefing.
But they find Colonel Cadwell less than willing to help.
Rodney bites his lip knowing how much this means to John. He doesn't even resent the care and concern he sees in John's eyes as he argues with Caldwell about the rescue mission.
Of course John wants to go after that stupid caveman at all costs. What Rodney didn't expect, is that HE does too. It's not like Ronon hasn't saved his life before. He knows Ronon would have tried to sacrifice himself for Rodney the way he did for John and Teyla by letting himself be taken captive by the Wraith again.
They can't let this be his fate. They just can't. Rodney feels guilty now for begrudging Ronon any kind of acceptance, he's actually one of the most honorable and loyal people Rodney's ever met. No, they'll do whatever they have to to get him back.
"I will not put my crew and the only ship that we have in this galaxy at risk for one man." Caldwell informs John.
"One man who isn't a member of the U.S. military." John makes a bitter face.
"I didn't say that." Caldwell gives a dismissive sneer.
"He's a member of my team." John strides angrily up to Caldwell's face, "And he deserves the same respect as anyone on this expedition!"
When Caldwell won't back down, John comes up with another plan, asking him just to get them close enough to the planet that he can bring his team in with a cloaked Jumper.
Carson pipes up saying he can remove the new tracking device implanted in Ronon before they get back to Daedalus.
"We'll be out of there before the Wraith even know what happened." John tells Caldwell.
Shaking his head, Caldwell warns, "I won't bail you out if you get into trouble."
John's demeanor is irreverent, "You say that as if we're always getting into trouble." He walks past Caldwell and stalks out of the room before there are any more objections.
Rodney follows fast on his heels to help gear up.
.
.
.
.
John sees Teyla approaching him in the small cafeteria aboard the Daedalus; she sits down and thanks him for going after Ronon with all guns blazing.
"Did you think we wouldn't?" John asks.
"He is an outsider."
"Not to me." John clarifies.
"I have often felt like an outsider among your people." Teyla admits.
"Well, maybe at first, but…" John tells her, "You know I've always trusted you."
She nods, "Yes. You and Dr. Weir have been very accepting. But this has shown me how far you would go, even for someone who is not from your world."
"Look Teyla," He leans forward over the table "I'm not really good at, uh… Actually, I'm, I'm terrible at expressing… I don't know what you'd call it…" In front of his coffee mug, John's hands lift in little shrug.
"Feelings?" Teyla suggests.
"Yeah, sure." John frowns, "Okay. The point is, I don't really have good, uh…"
Teyla quickly fills in the blank, "Social skills."
He pauses awkwardly… "Well, that is why I enjoyed flying choppers in the most remote part of my world before all this craziness happened.
But, uh, you should know", John's voice gets quiet with emotion he doesn't know how to express, "I don't have, uh…"
After a moment Teyla volunteers, "Friends?"
"No." John looks at her in shock, then a little defensively, "I have friends."
She smiles and looks away embarrassed.
He swallows thinking of Rodney, "You, Elizabeth…"
And there is Rodney.
Out loud he says, "Ronon…"
John tells himself that he can say Rodney's name without it sounding any different than the others.
"Carson…" quickly adding, "and even Rodney are the closest thing I have to a…." he flounders again.
"A family? Teyla prods.
Yeah. She hit it right on the nose. John never had one of those. His voice hitches. "I'd do anything…"
He looks Teyla in the eye, afraid of being this vulnerable, but trying to hold her gaze long enough so that she understands he means it. "for any one of you."
She looks gentle as John continues, "If I had to give up my life the way Ronon was going to…"
John stops, pressing his lips together to push back the well of emotion. He draws a steady breath, "I would."
This is too much. John shifts his gaze away. This is more than he has ever said to any one of his… his friends. The ones that have died or the ones he has now and is terrified to loose. His lips push back together in discomfort and he braces himself to leave.
Before he stands, he reaches over the table gruffly and pats her hands in affection.
"Thank you." Teyla's voice follows him as he leaves.
Unsure of what to say, John just stands there with his back to her.
Teyla continues, with kindness in her voice, "For everything you... meant to say."
Across the room, he keeps his back towards her. John can't talk anymore; there is a lump in his stupid throat. Why does he feel so empty and sad; he's going to get Ronon back, he can't lose anyone else.
But acknowledging the people who matter to him makes John feel all the more vulnerable, reminds him that they could be ripped away at any moment. That's what's always happened before when he's let himself care.
His ex-wife once told him that he was a pathetic character, walking through the world with the barest shred of human connection.
And talking to Teyla, who is able to connect so naturally with people gives him a sense of how dim he must seem to others, how… disconnected.
.
.
.
.
Rodney is in a foul mood as Carson treats his wound, screaming, "Oh! Son of a- You're killing me!"
"I'm not even touching you." Carson tells him, "Seriously, Rodney, I've never treated a bigger baby in my life."
"Just… Are we done?"
"Yes." Carson takes off his gloves, "It looks fine, considering."
Groaning, Rodney pulls up his pants... Yes, considering those primitive idiots shot him in the ass with an arrow.
Irritable, he finds himself getting into an argument with Carson about why he came on the mission. His is pride wounded that Carson doesn't realize that he cares about what happens to Ronon. Rodney feels differently about Ronon now than he once did. He isn't even jealous of John's attention and friendship with him anymore.
Rodney wags a finger, "Hey, I am a very caring person." He pauses, feeling a little ashamed and adds, "Okay, Maybe it's not obvious to everyone but, uh…"
"You care about what happens to Ronon?" Carson asks in disbelief.
"Yes, of course I do. What makes you think I wouldn't?"
"Oh I don't know," Carson suggests, "the fact that you refer to him as 'the caveman' behind his back."
"That is a nickname." Rodney explains, "Buddies have nicknames for each other."
"Buddies?" Carson blinks at Rodney, "Oh, you're buddies now, are you?"
"Yeah." Rodney holds his chin up, "More than that, he saved my life. He's like a brother to me."
"Aye, maybe a brother who got every gene you didn't and vice versa." Carson closes his medicine case.
Rodney knows he is reaching for the ridiculous but he says it anyway. "You are just jealous of our relationship."
"Am I?" Carson inquires, "In the year or so he's been with us, have you ever had a conversation with the man?
"We have an unspoken bond." Rodney smiles in self-assurance, "I mean there are things that go deeper than words, my friend, deeper than words. But you wouldn't know anything about that because you never look past the surface of anyone, do you?"
Rodney quickly leaves the infirmary so that he can have the last word.
.
.
Once they head out to the Satedan home world, John and Teyla go to check out the building where Rodney detected the transmitter signal. He and Carson stay behind in the cloaked Jumper; he can feel still feel the tension in the air from the words the two of them exchanged earlier.
As time goes by Rodney worries and calls on the com, "What is going on down there? You have at least 25 Wraith closing in on your position from ground level."
"It seems Ronon doesn't want to leave." John answers.
Rodney shouts, "Well too bad, you tell that ungrateful example of unevolved humanity that we came all this way to rescue him, so he'd better get off his ass-"
He hears John speaking to Ronon, "McKay says he's very hurt you won't come with us."
Apparently, even though the other people Ronon thought he was protecting have been killed by the Wraith, John says he wants to lure the General responsible for culling his homeworld down from the Hive ship so he can kill him.
"That is the stupidest plan I ever heard." Rodney sneers.
Rodney looks at the screen and realizes how outnumbered they are, he and Carson soon get into an another argument about which one of them should go out and help.
If anyone should go it should be him. But while they are physically wrestling over one of the guns, he hears John over the radio saying they already got them all.
Rodney looks at the life detector in disbelief; he can't believe they actually did it.
Ronon seems to get his wish, as the General beams down.
Watching from the cloaked Jumper, he and Carson watch the fight in apprehension. Ronon is no match for him.
"He's killing him, we've got to do something!" Rodney panics.
"Where are John and Teyla?" Carson wonders.
Rodney points to the screen, "Behind those things."
"Well why the bloody hell aren't they doing anything?"
Snapping his fingers, Rodney comes up with a plan "We fire a drone! We'll have to uncloak, but I don't see what choice we've got."
Carson takes a seat at the controls, "Aye, I've done it before."
"You mean when you nearly destroyed the Ancient outpost in Antarctica?" Rodney sneers.
"Just got to get a clear shot." Carson frowns in concentration.
Ronon is bloody and gasping on the ground as the Wraith reaches his hand back to feed and drain the life from him.
"Do it now!" Rodney shouts. "He's not going to make it!"
A yellow canon fires into the chest of the creature, throwing it clear of Ronon and decimating it to ash in a giant explosion. John and Teyla suddenly reappear and help Ronon aboard. They quickly re-cloak the Jumper and barely make a getaway before the Hive ship in orbit destroys them.
"Which one of you killed the Wraith?" A bloody Ronon growls from his seat.
"That would be me." Carson beams.
"My idea." Rodney pipes up to make sure he gets his credit.
Ronon pulls himself upright and lunges toward Carson.
"Ronon." Teyla issues a warning.
"What?" Carson is confused, "Don't tell me that you're not happy that he's dead?"
"I had him in my sights, but Ronon said he'd kill me if I shot him." John explains.
Eager to distance himself from the incident, Rodney nervously changes his story, "It was all Beckett's idea."
"Thanks, Doc." Ronon grabs Carson and pulls him into a bear hug.
"What? Him you thank?" Rodney feels left out.
John seems to feel the same, "I could have killed him at any time, but Teyla wouldn't let me."
"Thank you." Ronon places a big hand on Rodney's shoulder, "All of you."
"Oh, don't mention it." Rodney feels immensely better.
.
.
.
.
For the last few weeks now, John has wanted to have a talk with Rodney, ever since they got back from Sateda. This seems like as good a time as any, he knows Rodney is up late in the lab and it's otherwise empty.
"Hey." He saunters in and sees Rodney seated in a chair, "How's your butt?"
"Here for more bad jokes, Colonel?" Rodney keeps typing.
Sometimes he hates it when Rodney calls him Colonel. It signifies their professional relationship. John had wanted to talk to Rodney the friend.
He feels stupid. Like Teyla said, he's not good with feelings. He doesn't know what he was thinking. Maybe this was a bad idea…
John's lips purse tightly and he braces to go.
"Wait!" Rodney pulls his arm, "don't go." He keeps ahold of John's arm, looking at his face, as if he can sense the emotion. John is sure his expression betrays nothing except a scowl, but Rodney squeezes his forearm.
"I'm glad we got Ronon back." He tells John.
"You did good." John nods. He looks up at Rodney. "Ah, I wanted to say something… Well…"
He pulls out Rodney's jacket, clean and folded, "First of all I wanted to return this."
"Hey, this is…" Rodney peers at it, "I've been looking for this forever."
"Really?" John is shocked Rodney even noticed it was gone, "Given the state of your room, I find it a little hard to believe you'd ever notice if something was missing."
"It is simply a pattern too complex for you to comprehend." Rodney smirks, "But I assure you, there is a method to my genius."
Blinking at his jacket, Rodney asks, "So, this was what you wanted to say?"
"No." John shakes his head, "I, I wanted to… uh..."
"Oh, no." Rodney looks concerned, "Is it something bad? What's wrong, what did I do?"
"No. Not bad." John sits down next to him and rubs the back of his head anxiously.
"Look, uh, I was talking to Teyla the other day… and it made me think about how I'm not great at letting people know… I'm, uh, not good at….
You know, talking about… emotions and stuff... But, I thought I should tell you, -all of you, really -how much you mean to me."
"Oh. Okay. Thanks."
It doesn't seem like Rodney understands what he is trying to say.
John continues, "Okay. Your friendship… it's very important to me, Rodney. I've… never had a friend like you, ah, I just hope you know that... how much you mean.. you mean a lot to me."
.
.
.
.
Rodney is shocked, he wants to grab John and pull him into a hug but he restrains himself.
"I didn't realize… I mean, thank you. Because you mean the world to me and our… our friendship… Well, it's more important to me than I really know how to put into words.
I'm, uh, not great with this either, but it's nice to know you think of me as more than a forced comrade… or" referring to the running joke about his recent injury, "a pain in the butt."
.
.
.
.
"Is that how you really think I see you? Just a forced comrade?" John is saddened that after everything, that is all Rodney's thought he felt for him.
"Well, I mean I didn't know …" Rodney blinks nervously, "But I'm glad you think of me as a friend… Thank you." He gives a small smile and looks down.
"Well," John stands up and speaks with a more playful tone, "then I'm glad we had this little talk."
"John?" Rodney calls to him on the way out.
"Yeah?" John turns.
"Do you know…" Rodney looks wide-eyed and uncomfortable, speaking quickly, "You really mean a lot to me, I, ah, consider you one of my closest friends."
John smiles. He'd assumed Rodney considered him a friend, but not one of his closest; his chest feels warm, "I didn't know exactly… but now I do, so..."
"So. Good." Rodney nods.
There is a moment of awkward silence between them, then John asks, "So now that you can sit down, think you can handle playing the game again -seeing as I've been kicking your ass so badly?"
" Your civilization is a joke. I am so beating you." Rodney makes a face of false pity, "And don't think this little talk is going to make me go any easier on you."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, all talk." John waves his hand on the way out.
.
.
.
.
Rodney is so excited to be in the briefing with Sam. His Sam, Samantha Carter is here along with the rest of her team from Stargate Command. Rodney is sure she needs his help with those bad guys threatening to overrun the Milky Way.
While she is giving her briefing, he can't seem to stop himself from interrupting and elaborating on his perspective. After all, the presentation is really meant to get the rest of the team up to speed, Rodney understands exactly what she is trying to do.
"No-no-no." Rodney objects to what she is proposing, "The diameter of a Stargate is not arbitrary. There is a specific correlation between the energy required to create a stable wormhole-"
Sam cuts him off, "And the size of the gate. I know that."
Rodney continues, "And it's exponentially proportional to size, which means the energy required to create a connection with a supergate would far exceed that of an ordinary gate. It'd be like putting together a Saint Bernard and a Chihuahua."
The sexy brunette sitting across the table from him smiles playfully, "And the problem with that would be-"
He narrows his eyes at her, what was her name... Vala "Well, obviously it's a question of, uh…" Rodney notices the bemused expression on Daniel's face. God, that guy is annoying
"Oh, I see." Rodney blinks in irritation, "You're, um, mocking me, aren't you?"
"What?" Vala looks innocent, "No. I'm not from Earth. I honestly didn't get the reference."
"Oh," Rodney begins again, "Oh, well, they're both dogs-"
"McKay." Sam's voice speaks over him in frustration.
"Colonel Carter, please continue." Elizabeth graciously offers.
"If he speaks again, I'll shoot him." John says in a low voice.
Rodney gives John a hurt expression and tries to keep quiet, but he can't help himself from detailing exactly the physics they need to consider. This seems to irritate Colonel Mitchel but Rodney could care less and keeps interrupting him to make his point.
"I am just saying, the yield calculations can be extremely tricky, if not borderline impossible…" Rodney comes to his conclusion, "You may need me."
Vala chuckles, "Colonel Carter said as much."
"Ooh…" Sam winces. "We weren't going to tell him that."
'Sorry'. Vala mouths a silent apology.
But Rodney brightens at the prospect of Sam actually admitting she needs him.
"John, do you think you could spare Rodney from your team?" Elizabeth asks.
"Hell, you can keep him." John smirks at Rodney.
"Nice." Mitchell nods in amusement.
Rodney doesn't bother with a comeback, still preening over the fact that Sam needs him.
As people begin to filter out of the room, Daniel stops Rodney, "Hey, I've got to say it's pretty amazing here, I've always been a little jealous that O'Neill didn't let me come on the expedition."
"Yes, well," Rodney looks at him condescendingly, "I'm sure we've gotten along just fine without you."
Vala leans her chin onto Daniel's shoulder with a wide grin, asking him "Why do I get the feeling he doesn't like you much."
"What's not to like?" Rodney gives a pained smile, "I've enjoyed hearing him go on and on about his archeological finds, how he alone cracked the code of the Stargate, droning on about technical details that he thinks he's the only one that understands."
"Oh, you mean," Vala looks like she trying to contain her amusement, "kind of like…" she juts a thumb back at the empty conference table, "how you were back in there?"
"No," Rodney gestures emphatically with his hands, "I was talking about details relevant to a mission. I wasn't, say, bragging about how I'm the foremost expert on Ancient technology, even though I happen to be."
"Oh." Vala looks to Daniel then presses her hands together as if this is all a very exciting mystery to her, "Am I sensing some kind of rivalry going on here?"
"Not that I'm aware of." Daniel makes a puzzled face and shrugs ambivalently.
Rodney rolls his eyes and heads out of the briefing room; he can just overhear John talking with Colonel Mitchel, "Well, good luck. And listen, if McKay gives you a hard time, just-"
"Shoot him." Mitchell makes a gesture.
"Also," John confides, "he's mortally allergic to citrus, so…"
"Really?" Mitchell asks.
Rodney sees John pull a lemon out of one of his pockets, saying, "I keep one with me at all times."
At all times? John has teased him with it on a few occasions but… At all times-
"Just a comfort to know, it's there." John tosses it to Mitchell,
"That's good intel. Thanks." Mitchell examines the lemon.
John walks off before Rodney can catch up with him. Yes ha, ha, very funny, because of his citrus allergy… "That's a good one." Rodney steps in front of Mitchell, pointing towards John and laughing. "We're actually… We're quite close."
Rodney knows that they are, even if John makes jokes about shooting him. He knows John considers him a close friend.
"Have you packed your bags?" Mitchell asks.
"Hmm?" Rodney is confused for a minute, "Oh, right, right." He will be joining the Odyssey on the away mission. Rodney runs off to get ready. He is really looking forward to getting to spend some quality time with Sam.
.
.
As the Odyssey gets ready for liftoff, Rodney walks over to her to have a private conversation.
"You can check my preliminary yield calculations. They're on that station over there." Sam points back to a computer console.
"I'm sure their fine." Rodney waves his hand.
"It's the reason you're here McKay." Sam looks confused.
"Hmm, right." Rodney tells her, "But first I just wanted to thank you for being there for me recently, in a time of great personal need…
Well, actually, you weren't there, I was alone in the dark, but, um, you know, it sure seemed like you were."
"Are you telling me one of your fantasies?" Sam grimaces.
"No." Rodney explains, "It was a hallucination. Look, I had a concussion, I was trapped in the back of a sinking Jumper, and my mind conjured you up as a means of survival. It's just what you would do in my situation. Saved my life."
"Okay." Sam looks relieved, "Well, that's sort of nice."
"Hmm." Rodney smiles warmly, "Yes it was."
Sam's face becomes suspicious, "Was I naked?"
"Partially." Rodney admits.
"Check my calculations, McKay." Sam closes her eyes and sighs.
.
.
The mission turns out to be a great success thanks mostly to Rodney… sure, maybe a little prodding with a lemon had helped spark some inspiration, but in the end Sam couldn't have done it without him.
Feeling inflated by his success and a little inspired by his recent talk with John, Rodney prepares some coffee and pastries and seeks Carson out in the infirmary.
"Rodney. What's this, now?" Carson greets him as he walks in.
"Just a snack. Fancy a walk on the pier?"
"Don't mind if I do." Carson walks over to inspect the offerings.
On the way there, Carson asks, "What's the occasion?"
"Does there have to be one?"
"Well," Carson gives him a funny look, "there's a first time for everything."
"Just wanted to talk, you know. I missed you… You were going to catch me up on the latest with Cadman, tell me how the long distance thing is going with her aboard the Daedalus."
On the walk down to the water's edge, Carson dishes on all the latest details of his romance. Rodney congratulates him, happy to hear things are going so well.
Carson smiles and takes a sip of his coffee as he sits down, "There's something so calming about being out here."
"True." Rodney looks out at the waves, "Much more relaxing than what we normally do."
"You're in an awfully good mood." Carson takes out a pastry, "Does it have anything to do with Sam?"
"What? Oh. No, I mean… It was nice seeing her." Rodney laughs, "I shouldn't have told her about my hallucination."
"You didn't?"
"I was just trying to thank her for the, uh, moral support. She was the one who guessed that she was somewhat naked in my fantas- I mean, hallucination."
"Sounds like it went well." Carson winces.
"As well as can be expected with my social skills. Listen, I… I actually wanted to talk to you about that. Sort of… I wanted to say I was sorry for being such a jerk when we were on Sateda. I know sometimes I get… prickly. I wanted to say-"
"Oh, it's nothing to fret about." Carson waves his hand, "But apology accepted."
"Hmm." Rodney looks back over the water, "In my hallucination, Sam told me… or I guess I told myself- that I'm arrogant, petty, and bad with people. I suppose that's just the tip of the iceberg, but I've been thinking… uh, that is, I'm not used to having to be good with people."
Carson lifts his brows.
"Or, at least caring about it. I've never been one to have… friends, you know? So this is kind of new to me."
"What do you mean?" Carson looks confused.
"I've never had friends before. I spent most of my time alone. People don't seem to like me so I stopped caring about social niceties."
"What do you mean, Rodney? People like you."
"Uh, no. They don't."
"I mean, sure, sometimes you're a wee bit rough around the edges, but everyone here cares about you."
Rodney frowns in disbelief, "Thanks, but-"
"You just don't let your guard down much, I've always wondering why. I mean, I know about Alex, that kind of thing would make it hard for anyone to trust, but I mean, is there something else?"
This isn't what he'd planned on talking about; Rodney's stomach lurches. Discussing his own shortcoming is something he would prefer not to dwell on. "I guess that's why I'm so arrogant."
"What?"
"To compensate for my other… missing parts."
Since Carson doesn't seem to be following, Rodney starts again, "There's nothing exceptional about me or my life."
Carson gapes at him in shock.
"Fine." Rodney groans, "Okay, other than the fact that I'm a genius… See, I can't stop, even now."
"Now that sounds more like the Rodney I know." Carson swallows a bite, "So what's the unexceptional story?"
"I don't know, "Rodney shakes his head, "Brief life history? Parents were older academics when they had my sister and I. They were very distant emotionally and pressured us to excel in school. That was the way to get their approval, and it was easy since I had certain gifts.
I skipped a lot of grades and that kind of ruled out a social life. I became accustomed to being bullied and taunted by others in school. Guess I got used to getting people to back off by being, you know, the way I am.
I've tried letting my guard down but people still don't like me, so that's all there is to it. I think it's… whatever, I didn't mean to go off on some sort of Rodney sob story. I'm always talking about myself, my problems… That's another problem I have, being selfish."
Carson tries to interject but Rodney stops him, "I wanted to say something else. Back to the friend thing…
You've been very kind to me. I wanted to tell you that I appreciate you, your friendship. Your one of the only friends I've ever had, but, ah, that shouldn't diminish the fact that you're one of the best friends I've ever had.
There, I said it. That's what I wanted to say."
"Rodney." Carson smiles softly, "I'm very touched. I've had my share of friends, but I count you among the very best as well."
"You do?" Rodney is surprised.
"Of course I do!" Carson shakes his head, "For someone who brags so much, you seem to think very little of yourself."
"Low self-esteem." Rodney rolls his eyes, "Add it to the list of problems."
"Well, even if you can't see it yourself, I think you're great."
"Yes, well…" Rodney feels awkward; it is a little strange hearing something positive being said about him –well, by someone other than himself "I, uh, think you're great too. And thank you… you know, for making it easier to let my guard down."
"Always a pleasure." Carson lifts his cup to touch Rodney's and the two of them laugh.
"So you really told her about the naked part?"
"Ugh. Yeah, and I, uh, almost kind of told her she was sexy on the bridge."
Rodney likes this, being able to laugh candidly with Carson about his foibles. Everything comes so easily when he's talking with Carson. They lounge and finish eating the pastries. Then Rodney walks him back to the infirmary and heads to the lab to check out some Ancient gadgets that are confounding him.
.
.
"Careful that stuff is very… complex"
John lifts up one of the devices on the table and inspects it casually "I don't know, Rodney. They don't seem very Ancienty to me."
"Ancienty?" Rodney gives a condescending look.
"Yes, I told you it's a word." John sets it down and folds his arms playfully.
Rodney walks next to John at the table, "Just because the ATA gene doesn't turn it on doesn't mean it's…"
"Un-Ancienty?" John's shoulder brushes against Rodney.
"Not exactly the word I was looking for." He reaches down for the object and touches it.
John is reaching down too. His hand closes over Rodney's.
Embarrassed by the accident, Rodney pulls back.
But John holds on to Rodney's hand, forgetting the unknown object.
Confused, Rodney looks down.
He is turning Rodney's hand in his, opening it and threading his fingers through Rodney's. Moving closer, John's body presses lightly against him.
"John?" Rodney's breath is shallow and his eyes downcast.
John's free hand wraps around Rodney's waist, pulling him in close.
"Ohhh." Rodney says shakily.
He feels helpless, his body is buzzing with sexual charge. This has to be some kind of joke, but he is completely at John's mercy, he can't resist him. John must know that, he can do anything to Rodney he wants.
But John doesn't want him, does he?
Letting go of Rodney's hand, John tilts Rodney's chin up to eye level.
As Rodney looks up, he sees John's face is full of warmth and tenderness.
"Rodney, I've always wanted you." John trails his fingers along Rodney's lips, "I should have let you kiss me, I was just scared.
I didn't want to admit how I felt..." John licks his lips, "How I feel about you."
.
.
WARNING: If you are sensitive to domestic and sexual violence, please skip ahead by 1 chapter; the important elements, plot points, and character development should be clear enough without reading all the details. The following scene gets pretty dark and goes into Rodney's backstory. In order not to reveal too much, I will only say, all is not what it seems...
.
.