Warnings: Lots of feels again. Sorry, not sorry.

AN: Sorry about the delay. I thought I had uploaded this chapter to FFN already. 39 will be up soon, but 40 is almost all slash and will need extensive editing before I can post it here. 39 and 40 are both up on AO3 if you'd rather not wait, but be warned, 40 is rated MA on AO3 (or E, according to their system).

CHAPTER 38

Goodnight, Sleep Tight

"Congratulations," said Luna from her corner. "It was a lovely bonding. The Aimelins quite enjoyed it."

Harry squeezed Severus' hand to soothe him. "Aimelins, Lu?"

"They appear whenever two pe—"

Neville cut across her explanation. "Anyway, congratulations, you two."

Harry gave Neville a bemused look. Neville projected his thoughts to Harry, knowing by now the young man could read them if he was in proximity.

[They're fairies that show up when true love is present. You're ready, but Professor Snape….]

Harry winced. [Yeah. Best not to mention that.]

And gods, didn't it hurt?

He turned and buried his face against Severus' shoulder so the man might not see his tears. 'I love you, Severus. Will you ever be able to accept it?'

He sighed and moved back, ashamed of his moment of weakness. He had no idea if Severus could ever allow himself to love, but he was trying his best, and even if he never managed it, Harry had made a vow to love him anyway. And he would keep it. Somehow.

Though, to be honest, Harry wasn't sure he could keep his vows without breaking to pieces. Still, he would try. By gods, he would try.

At the moment, however, he had more serious concerns.

He pulled Luna aside and whispered in her ear. "Lu… the Horcrux? I know soul bonds work to keep out darkness, but I'm afraid. Can you tell…?"

She nodded. "Your love completely warded it out of the bond. It's a pure soul bond with no interference from Riddle."

Harry slumped in relief. "Oh, thank Merlin. I was so afraid.

"It's all right. Professor Snape… or Prince, rather, is fine too, but we're worrying him."

Harry nodded and moved back to his mate. "Sorry, Sev. I was asking about my scar."

Severus winced. "Is it…?"

"It's fine. It didn't interfere in the bond."

"Well, that is a relief." Severus tipped Harry's chin up and kissed him lightly. "We will find a way, Harry. I swear it."

Harry sniffled, overcome with love, and laid his head against Severus' chest. "I believe you."

Severus stroked Harry's hair, his emotions alternating between affection and worry.

"Well, everyone," said Dumbledore with a knowing look, "it is now gone four and none of us have had much sleep. I will excuse the three of you students from classes tomorrow, but Severus… to excuse him at the same time could prove lethal."

"I am used to teaching on little sleep," Severus said with a wry laugh. "The students will simply have more than their fair share of surprise exams and study periods."

Neville winced. "Well, that explains a lot."

Severus gave a dark chuckle. "I fear I will be less than pleasant tomorrow. Be glad you are not in my class any longer, Mister Longbottom."

Neville nodded wryly. "And not only because I'm saving on cauldrons, sir!"

A soft laugh escaped Severus. "Yes, I imagine the number of times you melted your cauldron did put a sizable dent in your inheritance." He gave the boy a sad smile. "I… I do not believe it was entirely your fault, however."

Neville's cheeks pinked. "Oh. I…."

Severus laid a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you. For everything you have done for Harry, for me, thank you." He bowed, and Neville's breath caught. When Severus came up, the boy's eyes had gone suspiciously wet.

"T-thank you, sir. I… it helps a lot."

Severus nodded. "Please communicate my thanks to Thomas as well."

"I will do, sir."

Severus squeezed Neville's shoulder and moved to Luna. He bowed to her as well. "I will not pretend I understand your methods, but you have also proved to be an incredible support to Harry and myself. Thank you."

"You're very welcome, sir." She curtsied and laid a gentle hand on Severus' wrist. "Trust Harry, sir. He is not the one who harmed you."

Severus froze, eyes wide, breath stuttering. Harry caught his free hand and guided him away.

"Hey, Sev, look at me. You're okay."

Severus choked out, "D-do you know?"

"About your past?"

Severus nodded tersely.

"Only what you've told me, Sev. I don't think Luna can help but know more about it, but she's never told me."

"It's not my business to tell," Luna said with a shake of her head. "I just try to sort out the Wrackspurts and Nargles and keep you out of the mists. It's your place to work out the Gunglers and bring the Shadow-Keepers into the light."

Severus stared, mouth slightly open in utter bemusement.

Harry snorted. "There's that 'plain sight' thing the headmaster mentioned earlier. Luna's very good at keeping secrets without trying."

Severus closed his mouth with a click. "Ah, what did she say, precisely?"

"Um, translated," said Neville with a wry smile, "she said it's her job to help you stay happy, but it's your place to talk about your pasts and your secrets."

Harry gave a low laugh. "I'm telling you, Nev, we need that Luna-speak dictionary."

Luna tittered. "Oh, come now. It's quite easy once you learn to listen."

"I beg to differ," Severus said, bemused. "Lovegood, why do you refer to such mundane concepts in terms of… creatures?"

"Not creatures, sir. Spirits. And I speak of them often because they talk to me. I don't know why they chose me as their medium, but I don't mind. It means I always have plenty of friends, even when I didn't have any friends at all." She gave her classmates a warm smile. "Though since then, Harry, Dean, and Neville have been wonderful, and Ginny…." Luna's shoulders drooped. "Well, she was a good friend until the Ticklebees took her over."

"Ticklebees?"

"Spirits that make one focus on finding love," Harry muttered to Severus. "In her case, at the cost of everything else."

"Ah." Severus wrapped an arm around Harry's waist and drew him in closer. "I will protect you, Harry. I had thought her obsession had stopped, but now that I know she is still a problem, I will keep you safe."

Harry tapped his throat. "I've protected myself. She won't assault me again."

Severus growled softly in his throat, sending a thrill of desire and affection through Harry. "No, she will not. You are mine now."

Harry gave him a brilliant smile. "I think I've always been yours."

"Would that I had seen it sooner."

Severus brushed his lips across Harry's forehead, and Harry melted into his arms. Gods, if Severus could stay affectionate like this, even if he never completely overcame his phobias, Harry could be happy. Maybe it would be all right.

Severus turned back to Harry's friends and gave them a hesitant smile. "At any rate, Miss Lovegood, I am grateful for your assistance with Harry. Even if I do not quite understand the way you speak, it is clear you have helped him through… the mists on more than one occasion."

Luna beamed. "I try, sir. But do call me Luna. We're all friends now, aren't we?"

Severus gasped and went rigid. "I… I d-don't know. Are we?"

Neville chuckled softly. "We just witnessed your bonding, sir. I reckon that puts us closer than student and professor. And we're Harry's family, so… well, I guess we're yours too now."

"And us," said Winky, tugging Dobby to her side. "We's your family too."

Severus breathed, "F-family…?" He would have fallen to his knees if Harry hadn't caught him around the waist and held him up.

"Sev? Ssh. You're okay."

"I…." Severus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Thank you," he murmured, voice thick with emotion. "All of you. My husband and I are honoured to accept you into our family."

A thrill curled around Harry's heart and flooded him with joy. Severus' husband. Yes. Even if it wasn't perfect, the knowledge that he belonged to Severus now, without a doubt, filled him with pure joy, effervescent and spilling over from every pore. It would be okay. They would have their share of problems, yes, but what couple didn't? They would overcome them together.

Harry had enough love for both of them. Didn't he?

"Neville, Luna," Dumbledore said with a gentle smile, "I, too, would like to express my gratitude for your love and acceptance towards these two men. One hundred points to the both of you for your faith, and to Dean as well, though he could not be here tonight."

Neville gasped. "How are we going to explain that, sir?"

"Say you saved my life," said Harry with a sad smile. "That you and Dean pulled me off the tower and Luna healed me."

Neville gave him a sad smile. "We certainly tried. But you're happier now, aren't you? Will they believe it?"

Harry closed his eyes. "I'm happy with Sev. The moment I have to leave his side and go straight back into a battlefield… let's just say it won't be difficult to act miserable."

Severus closed his eyes and clenched his fist at his side. Was he feeling Harry's pain? A soul bond would certainly allow him to.

"I'm sorry, Sev."

Severus kissed Harry's cheek. "You have nothing to apologise for. But I believe Albus is correct. If I am to teach tomorrow, I must at least attempt to sleep soon. And we…."

He left his sentence unfinished, but Harry knew from his mind and heart what worry had overtaken him. They had four hours before classes started and had yet to consummate their bond.

Harry's face flamed. "Yeah." Mentally, he added, [Sev, let's… er… c-consummate the bond tomorrow. There's just not enough time tonight.]

Severus gave a short nod to indicate his understanding and held Harry tighter. "Albus, if you will help Luna and Mister Longbottom—"

"Neville, sir," the boy said. "If you're okay with it."

Severus bowed. "Neville then. Albus, if you will help them back to their dorms safely, Harry and I will take our leave. May we use your floo?"

"Please do," said Dumbledore. "I would much prefer that than having you be caught."

Severus nodded and guided Harry to the hearth. "Come."

Harry threw a pinch of floo powder into the fire and followed his husband home.

~SSHP~

Severus was reeling inside. He was bonded. Harry was his—had given him the full vows plus more of his own—and had promised Severus his love whether he could return it or not. And that after Severus had failed to promise him the same.

Merlin forgive him, he had tried, but in the end, his lips couldn't form the words. Love had been poisoned for him.

Perhaps, if Harry could heal his heart, Severus could give his husband the full vows one day. As much as the idea terrified him, he hoped he could. Harry deserved more than his broken pieces.

But gods, everything had happened so fast. In one day, their entire lives had changed. They had lost Isuri, Severus had nearly lost Harry and Albus, then he had gained a husband, a house elf, and two friends, and found out Harry was a Telepath and a Horcrux all in twenty-four hours. Gods help him, he felt as though he had run an emotional marathon, and perhaps it was an apt description. The events of the past two days had wrung him out entirely.

Thank Merlin Harry had suggested they wait a day to consummate. Severus wasn't sure he could begin to perform in this state.

Harry returned to his bed in the living room, his face a picture of sorrow. "Goodnight, Severus."

Severus swallowed hard. "Harry, why are you sleeping there?"

Harry shuddered as if struck. "Do you want me to go back to my room then?"

"Merlin, no. I thought…." Severus' eyes flicked to his bedroom door and away. Grief and shame washed over him, and deep disappointment. Gods, he had wanted Harry to sleep with him. Had he not learned his lesson the first time he had hoped for too much?

Harry's breath hitched. "Sev?"

Closing his eyes and his heart, Severus turned away and spoke in a quiet, flat voice. One he hoped didn't reveal the terrible shame turning his stomach to lead.

"I… if it is too disturbing for you to sleep near me, then you must allow me to set wards over you for the night. Until we consummate the bond, I cannot protect your mind."

Robes rustled, and a warm body moved to his side. "Sev…." Harry laid his head against Severus' shoulder from behind and traced gentle fingertips up and down his side. "I only chose to sleep out here because I thought you wouldn't feel comfortable with me in your bed. Would you rather I sleep with you?"

Severus breathed in deep, reaching for control. "You asked me to… to make this real. If you are sleeping in another room, I… that is not a good start."

Harry kissed Severus' shoulder and wrapped his arms around the man's waist, holding him close. "Okay. I… I'd honestly rather be near you too, if you can bear it."

Severus stilled. The feel of Harry's body so near his own, the warmth of his husband's breath down his spine and the curve of a strong stomach against his bum sparked interest in his groin. Gods, it had been so long since he had felt attraction, more than the base relief of physical needs. He had learned long before to quell such wants—they only brought him pain. But maybe, just maybe, it was safe to feel this way with Harry.

A chill spread down his spine. No. No. He had thought that way before, and then—

"Trust Harry, sir. He is not the one who harmed you."

Severus released a shaky sigh. Maybe he could try. But not like this, not where he had no control and couldn't see Harry's face. He wouldn't be the passive victim—never again.

And perhaps he should take this one hurdle at a time. Simply sleeping in Harry's arms would be enough of a challenge for one night.

"Come, Harry. Let us go to bed."

Harry hugged him tight for a moment, face pressed against Severus' shoulder, trembling with emotion.

"Okay," he said in a rough voice. "Okay."

Severus took Harry's hand and led him to the bed. Winky had already turned down the sheets and laid out fresh nightclothes for them. Severus picked up the midnight blue silk pyjamas she had chosen for him and smiled. They were his favourites. She must have known somehow.

As he looked up, he realised his husband hadn't moved from the position Severus had left him in before. "Are you afraid, Harry?"

"N-not in the way you think." Harry stared at his feet. "I just… don't want to push you away. A-are you sure you're okay with this?"

Severus turned to his husband and saw him for the frightened young man he was. He set his pyjamas on the bed once more and wrapped Harry in gentle arms.

"I am sure."

Harry sighed and buried his face in Severus' neck. "I'm so afraid."

"I am too, Harry, but I am also trying. I… is it enough?"

"Yeah." Harry kissed Severus' throat, trailing soft lips up to his ear. "It gives me hope." He kissed Severus' earlobe and nibbled the edge, and a rush of heat sparked in Severus' belly.

"Ah, Harry."

"Mhm, does that feel good?"

Another gentle nibble stole Severus' breath. "Y-yes."

"Mm. Good to know."

Harry suckled his earlobe and held Severus' waist, hands trailing up and down his sides, and heat and dread pooled in Severus' belly at once. Gods, it did feel good for Harry to kiss him this way, but….

Harry moved back and cupped Severus' face. "You're afraid?"

"I… I am."

"Okay." Harry nuzzled Severus' cheek and moved back. "Come on, Sev. Let's go to bed. We just have to undo the transfiguration to dress for it, right?"

Severus looked at his wedding robes and shook his head. "Let us… perhaps we could…." He couldn't finish in words, but tried to let Harry hear what he couldn't say. [They are too important to discard.]

Harry's eyes lit up. "You want to keep our robes?"

"Yes."

"Brilliant. I'll just go change in the other room then."

Harry picked up the set of pyjamas Winky had left for him and went into the living room. Severus stifled the temptation to ask him to stay. Even if he was curious if Harry's bare body lived up to that of his dream image, they had no time tonight to play, and Severus wasn't sure he could quell his arousal if Harry undressed in front of him after kissing him the way he had done a moment before.

So much for not being able to perform tonight. Merlin.

With a tiny shard of regret for missing out on Harry's naked form, Severus removed his robe and hung it in his wardrobe. His bonding robe. Gods, he had never imagined he would have one. He couldn't resist smoothing the satin folds once before he closed the doors.

His heart full of soft, warm feelings, he hung his dressing gown back on its hook on the door—Albus had left it alone at Severus' request—and changed into clean pyjamas.

Hmm. Severus frowned at the garment. Harry needed a place for his dressing gown too.

With a wry smile, Severus transfigured the door to provide a second hook for Harry and climbed into bed. Harry knocked before he rejoined him a moment later, dressed in crimson silk pyjamas and with his bonding robes draped over his arm. A throb of heat centred between Severus' legs and made his breath catch. Well, Harry was certainly playing to Severus' desires that evening. Gods, he was lovely.

Harry hung his bonding robes on the door hook Severus had just made and gave him a shy smile. "C-can I join you?"

Severus' cheeks burned. "May I. And yes, you may."

Harry crawled into bed beside him and sought the comfort of Severus' hand. "Will you hold me?"

Severus swallowed his lingering fears and drew Harry into his arms. "Are you well?"

"I feel better in your arms anyway."

Severus held him closer. In the wake of their whirlwind wedding, he had forgotten Harry had lost everything beforehand. Gaining a husband would not heal the wounds of losing Isuri, his home, and his housemates.

And, Merlin, at the thought of Isuri, Severus had to fight back a wave of grief too. Gods, he missed her. It wasn't right that she hadn't lived to see this, her humans mated and trying to make their new relationship work. She would have been happy, Severus thought. He hoped she was content, wherever she was now.

With a sad sigh, he kissed Harry's forehead and ran his hand through the young man's curls. "I am here, Harry. I cannot replace what you have lost, but I am here."

"It feels better when you touch me." Harry caressed Severus' cheek and gave him a searching look. "May I kiss you?"

Severus hesitated long enough to see deep pain fill Harry's eyes and to remember Lucius had never asked, only taken what he wanted with no concern to Severus' needs. No, Severus had always asked, and Lucius had always turned him down—unless he wanted something, of course. Severus couldn't bear to do the same thing to this beautiful, loving man in his arms.

"It's okay," Harry murmured, voice dim. "I… I'll just go to bed then."

His smile as he let go of Severus' face was a terrible sight, broken and bleeding, a ghost of the hope and joy Severus had seen at their bonding—at least until their vows.

No. Severus would not hurt Harry like this.

With a sigh, he slipped his hand into Harry's curls and brought him close. "Be patient with me, Harry. Please." And he brought their lips together.

Harry tensed against him, then slowly relaxed, a gentle hand coming to rest on Severus' cheek. Sighing against Severus' lips, he edged closer, legs tangling, breath mingling, hearts beating in time. A soft moan escaped Harry, and the sound went straight to Severus' groin.

Oh gods. Harry enjoyed kissing him. It wasn't a chore undertaken to achieve some dark end. Harry truly cared about him.

[Yeah,] the young man's mental voice murmured, even as his tongue was busy tasting Severus' lips. [Love kissing you. So soft, so warm. Please don't stop.]

Severus wrapped his arm around Harry's waist and held him close. "We must go to bed at some point." But he didn't want to stop either. Kissing someone who cared about him was… special. New.

With a soft sigh, he guided Harry still closer, until they lay flush against each other, and shared more soft, sweet kisses with his husband. Husband! Merlin, he could hardly believe it.

[I'm yours, Severus. Forever. You don't have to be scared anymore. You'll never lose me.]

Severus pulled back with a pant. "That is more than a little disconcerting."

Harry winced. "I-I'm sorry. I can't help it."

Severus shivered. "Harry, I… there are things I am not ready to reveal."

"I know. It only pops into my head if you're not blocking it. I've tested it with Luna and Neville. If people try to hide something from me, I can't read it without forcibly breaking past their barriers, and I would never do that. With you being a natural Zopath, love, I doubt I could even if I did want to, but I don't. I can't break your trust like that."

Severus cringed. "N-not yet. Please don't—not ready for that."

"For what?" Harry frowned. "What did I s—oh. You mean calling you 'love'?"

"Please don't."

"Okay." Sorrow dimmed the light of Harry's eyes, but he smiled nonetheless. "I won't then. I'm sorry."

A sharp surge of pain filtered through the bond and left Severus breathless. Dear gods, was this what Harry felt every time Severus let him down?

Severus winced and cuddled Harry close against him, trying to ease the young man's pain. "Forgive me. I… I know I am being foolish, but I cannot—I am so afraid."

Harry kissed Severus' cheek and the tip of his nose. "I said I would accept what you can give, Severus. This is… far more than I'd hoped for. It's all right."

"Harry, I feel your pain. You are not 'all right.'"

He cringed. "Damn it. I'm s-sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

A wave of cold horror and hot shame flooded the bond, and Severus reeled from the strange sensation. He struggled to gather his wits, then brought his distraught husband into a gentle kiss.

"Ssh. In time, we will work these things out, husband of mine."

Harry gave him a broken smile. "Y-yes." But his pain doubled.

"Harry, what have I done?"

"It's nothing. I'm just being silly, I suppose." With a sigh, he raised his mental shields and dulled the pain through the bond, yet Severus still felt it, hovering behind the cold shadow of Occlumency. "Let's just go to sleep, Sev."

Harry turned his back, leaving Severus unsettled and trembling. Half-afraid he would be rebuffed, Severus slipped his arm around Harry's waist, holding him lightly in case Harry pulled away. Harry tensed at his touch, and Severus jerked back, anguish and misery flooding him.

Dear gods. They hadn't been bonded an hour and he'd already cocked it all up.

"Sev?" Harry leaned back and guided Severus' arm around his waist again. "Hey, it's okay. You can touch me."

"I… I do not know what I have done wrong."

Harry kissed Severus' knuckles and shifted back against him. "Nothing. It's okay. I'm right here."

"Why are you in pain, Harry?"

"I… it's just… it's really nothing, Severus. I'm just being stupid, I reckon."

Severus pressed a soft kiss against the nape of Harry's neck. Harry stiffened, but another kiss against his neck had the young man melting in his arms. Severus traced Harry's neck to his ear and whispered against quivering skin.

"Trust me, Harry. Please trust me."

Harry sighed and relaxed in Severus' embrace. "O-okay."

Severus nuzzled Harry's neck, breathing in his scent and taking pleasure in his husband's reactions. Harry did want him, did care for him. It was heady and frightening and new, but most of all, it gave Severus hope he mightn't be this stunted, broken man forever.

If anyone could heal him, Harry could.

Harry sighed and tugged Severus' hand over his heart. "Sev'rus, I—" He cut himself off and shook his head. "I'm here for you, okay? I'll take care of you, I swear."

Severus pulled Harry closer. "I know, Harry. I know."

Harry turned his head and gave him a gentle kiss. "Goodnight, Sev."

Severus let Harry's warmth and acceptance flow into him like a balm for his troubled spirit. "Goodnight, Harry."

As he drifted off, hope and something softer, something tender and lovely warmed his heart. With Harry, it would be all right. He just had to take things slowly and remember that his husband cared about his well-being, and one day, maybe he could make Harry happy again.

Severus hoped he could. Merlin, he hoped.

~SSHP~

Severus fell asleep quickly, no doubt exhausted by the emotional whirlwind of the past two days, but Harry could not rest. He traced his fingers idly over Severus' hand, mind running over the events of the night.

Gods. He was bonded, a married man at eighteen. He didn't mind. He'd known for months Severus was the only one he would ever love. Even so, he couldn't decide if he was happy about the situation or devastated. True, he had Severus, he had the man as his husband, now and forever… but Severus didn't love him. Couldn't. Perhaps never would.

Nothing could take that pain away. Not the arm around Harry's waist, the warm breath ruffling his hair, nor the feel of Severus' legs entwined with his own. He had dreamed of sleeping like this, warm and safe within his husband's arms, but in his dreams, Severus had loved him too. This imitation left him hollow.

In spite of his barriers and his vow to love Severus regardless, tears flowed down Harry's face and wetted his pillow. Gods, he couldn't bear it. On top of losing so much, Severus' half-done vows ripped the soul from him.

Fuck. He wished Isuri was here to hold him together. Her unique perspective on his pain had pulled him through the fire many nights. But Isuri was gone, and no one could help him now.

Severus' breathing stuttered and his arm tightened on Harry's waist. Harry slammed his power into his shields, trying not to wake him, but Severus must have felt his pain regardless.

"Harry? Is something wrong?"

Harry forced his anguish back for Severus' sake. The man was trying his best. Harry's grief was his own fault for being so impatient.

With a sigh, he turned into Severus' arms and laid his head against the older man's chest. "I'm sorry, Sev. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Ssh. I am here, Harry. But what is troubling you?"

Harry couldn't tell him it was the inequality of their bond breaking his heart. Severus would be crushed.

"I… it's just been a hard couple of days. And I really miss Isuri." It was true, but using his half-truth lies against Severus felt wrong. Even if he only meant to spare him pain.

Severus closed his eyes, his grief obvious both within the bond and without. "I miss her too. I could not speak with her, but she was a good companion and she kept us safe." He smoothed a gentle hand down Harry's spine and up into his hair again. "Perhaps, in time, we will find a new snake familiar for you. I would feel better if you had one to guard you anyway. But I understand that you will need time to mourn Isuri first."

"Don't know that I want another one. I don't want to kill another innocent snake."

"You did nothing of the sort." Severus held Harry's face and brushed his tears away. "You gave her a wonderful life. It was unfortunately short, but while she lived with you, she was loved. It is not your fault."

"It is. I kill everything I touch."

Severus took Harry's hand and placed it over his heart. "Do you feel that?"

"Hmm?"

"My heartbeat. I would not have one if not for you."

"Oh." Harry's heart thumped and his stomach flipped. Merlin, it was true. If he hadn't saved him, Severus would be dead now.

"Look."

Severus unbuttoned his shirt with a spell, revealing the thin lines of old scars all over his torso and a vicious red mark crossing his breastbone and ribs. He turned onto his back, pulling his shirt open, and Harry leaned on his elbow beside the man, running gentle fingers over the shiny, red scar—the only mark of how close he had come to death.

Severus held Harry's hand over his heart. "Do you see this? I would not have survived without your help. Nor Luna's. You saved my life, Harry, and brought me hope and… and you." He leaned up and kissed Harry softly. "You are the reason I am alive, and the reason I am… mostly whole."

Harry traced the edges of Severus' scar, watching the way his skin pulled taut and wrinkled with his breathing. Merlin, Harry had come so close to losing him before he had even known how good and wonderful Severus really was.

Severus trembled and swallowed hard. "Harry, I… I am sorry I cannot be more for you."

Harry looked into Severus' eyes and read his fear and uncertainty, as well as the warmth and budding desire his husband's touch brought. Overall, he sensed deep-seated shame, a feeling of inadequacy Harry realised went deeper than Severus' fears of love and touch.

He returned his gaze to Severus' chest and understood. The man was scarred all over. He feared Harry would find him wanting because he hadn't a perfect body.

Harry slowly pushed the flaps of Severus' shirt open and off his belly. His husband's breath hitched and his skin quivered under Harry's touch—so Severus did feel something. The knowledge gave Harry surcease as he cautiously let his hands wander, tracing the lines of a lithe form and hard muscle and watching Severus' face for signs of fear. As Severus' building passion filled their bond, slowly overpowering his uncertainty and insecurity, heat blossomed in Harry's belly and drove out the coldness of sorrow.

"You're beautiful to me, Severus."

Harry traced the centre valley of Severus' abdomen, starting near the base of his ribs and trailing over a smooth stomach, the dip of his navel, and down through a soft trail of black hair. Severus gasped, his hips lifting slightly with Harry's touch. A gasp of want, not fear. Harry stopped himself from sliding under the man's waistband and caressing him by sheer force of will.

Severus' voice came out small and breathless. "My scars do not repulse you?"

"Your scars only prove how brave you are." Harry pressed a gentle kiss to Severus' chest. "You're beautiful."

Severus flushed. "I am not, but I am glad you find me so."

"Mm-hmm, I do." Harry lay beside him and pulled Severus into his arms. "Try to go to sleep, Sev. I'm… mostly okay now."

Severus sighed and held Harry tight. "I am here, Harry. I know… it is not yet what you wish for, but I am here. And I am trying to put my fears behind me."

"I know." Harry kissed him softly. "It's not your fault. I just… it's hard, but I'm okay now. Go to sleep, Severus. I'm right here."

"Yes." Severus closed his eyes and snuggled close. "Do not leave my arms except to go to the loo. I need to keep you safe."

Harry's heart thumped. "Oh." Perhaps Severus wasn't as far off from loving him as he had thought. "A-all right."

Comforted and full of renewed hope, Harry settled down and drifted off to sleep. With Severus so close and the bond humming between them, Harry had no further bad dreams.