Thanks Emmallia and Kaitlyn, here's the next chapter!

Chapter 36: Say Something

It was only a few weeks into the start of Samantha's sixth school year and it already felt like an eternity. Samantha spent a great deal of her time trying to keep an eye on Hector. Before she would just let him sulk all he wanted, but now they were at Hogwarts and she just knew that he would figure out the mirror was here.

She wished that would have been her only issue to deal with, but since it wasn't so she spent a great deal of time dwelling on it just to block the rest out. All the pain, regret and anguish squeezed in forcefully into her consciousness.

They didn't have to say it to her face for her to guess what they were thinking. They had figured out that whatever feelings they had for her were due to her being a veela. James kept a distance now, keeping himself preoccupied with Lily. Remus … she only saw him in passing. They never spoke anymore.

That was what hurt her the most. She wanted so desperately wanted to talk to him; for him to say anything really. But she couldn't find herself capable of going to him; there was too much guilt for her to find the courage to confront him. She figured that apologizing wouldn't go well either. She couldn't imagine herself saying, 'sorry for letting Sirius, one of your best friends, know about my secret, but not you.'

I am horrible at this teenage school crap, she thought. Sirius on the other hand … well he was completely different creature to begin with. In hind sight she should have seen it coming. Sirius, brash as always, had taken to himself to try to pressing the imaginary reset button that didn't exist. It was as if nothing had happened and we were all just in some horrible mood except for him.

A part of it tugged at her heart strings how Sirius only clung to their friendship tighter, trying to bring everything back to as normal as possible. James eventually came around since Lily was too taken to making sure she wasn't left alone to her own devices. He too seemed content to pretend that what happened had indeed never happened or was far more minor that it really was.

At least Lily made up for their stunted coping methods. That was until she had taken to trying to get her to talk to Remus and vice versa. At least Sirius avoided that like the plague.

Eventually things came to being almost fine. Hector was steaming from not being able to find the mirror and everyone else was studying in the library. Sirius nudged his feet against hers steadily again … and again until she snapped.

"Why'd you have to throw that book at me? That's the heaviest one!" Sirius barked at her accusingly.

Samantha lifted her quill ready for a stabbing motion as he stared her from across the table.

He rolled his eyes, "I'm hungry."

"I can't conjure up food. I'm not a damn house elf."

"You'd make a horrible house elf. Horrible."

Lily sighed, "You're going to get kicked out again."

"And here it comes." James chimed in taking the opportunity to scoot just a little bit closer to Lily.

The librarian loomed nearby with her arms crossed, before slowly untangling them and jabbing her finger toward the door. "You two are banned for the rest of the day," she hissed. She turned slithering away and disappeared behind a book shelf waiting for her next victim.

Sirius grinned as he shoved everything back into his bag. "Well, now we can get some food."

"Get me some apple pie." James quipped as he raised his quill in the air.

"Cake, the kind we had for dinner last night." Peter added.

"Lily?" Samantha added shrugging. "Might as well."

Lily tapped her finger on her chin lightly. "Carrot cake if they have any."

"They always do actually." Sirius crammed the rest of Samantha's books and papers in her bag. "Remus?"

Remus kept silent as he continued working on an essay with his brow furrowed and a tight grip on his quill that scratched harshly on the paper threatening to tear it. Samantha lowered her head and grabbed her bag roughly and left.

"Anything with chocolate and nuts … right," Sirius answered for him awkwardly.

Sirius caught up with her grabbing onto her elbow. "You do realize you're going the wrong way."

She tried to tug away but his grip tightened. He pulled out a map out of his pocket in an overly dramatic gesture.

"Come on, let's be sneaky. It's always more fun that way." Sirius said as he let go.

She thought about making a run for it while he was distracted but stopped as ink rose from the map.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

"What is that? Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail?"

"It's just our secret names, our Marauder names. Come on already I will drag you if need be."

"Let go of me." She hissed yanking her arm away from him.

Samantha charged off with Sirius hot on her heels brushing past several other students walking back to their dorms as the castle grew darker with fading light of the sun. She could hear him call out to her but she continued on.

"Sam, stop Sirius-ly"

"For once why can't you be-"

"Sirius? Well I can't go around being James can I? Not with that hair."

Samantha stomped her foot on the ground, huffing, but Sirius clearly didn't mind. He had gotten her to stop after all.

"Are you upset because we didn't include you? You'll always be one of us Sam, always." He asks with a surprising about of tenderness in his voice.

"No, no I'm not. I'm just some sort of intruder in your lives. That other person you guys hang out with."

"That's where you're wrong."

"It's true, now that everything is different because-"

"Damn it, will you stop linking everything damn thing with Remus! It's like the damn sun revolves around him for you! Just because you two aren't together doesn't mean you have to leave. He isn't the center of the universe. Don't let him destroy you."

Blood rushed to her face feeling each wave of blood being forced through her body with each pulse. She turned and ran toward the Gryffindor Tower.

This time he lets her escape.

Hogsmead trips were canceled due to an unsolved crime spree from a serial killer. The Daily Prophet stated that the deaths matched the same descriptions as a similar case 15 years ago.

Instead the students were forced to linger around the castle or in Samantha's case walk around while being followed by a remarkable persistent red head.

"You know, it wouldn't be as much of a hit to your ego as you think it would be to just make the first move. Remus didn't hide anything from you. He just feels hurt and betrayed that you couldn't trust him as much as he trusted you."

"He probably thinks that it wasn't real any ways. There was always that chance any way."

Lily wrinkled her nose, "He's just making excuses because he's afraid he'll hurt you again or worse!"

Samantha casted a sideways glance as they walked around the open fields, "So he has been saying it wasn't real."

"You both need to stop being cowards. Look, this all comes down to what happened in the forest. You both need to forgive yourselves and each other."

Samantha stopped as her jaw dropped. "What the hell did I do?"

"You were afraid. You were afraid of him and he remembers that."

Samantha crossed her arms defensively and started to walk away.

"I don't think he would have hurt you, not on purpose. But he did, trying to protect you. It was an accident. And you, it isn't your fault for being afraid … or guilty about being afraid."

Samantha looked back with narrowed eyes, "Forgive and forget, right."

Lily walked forward pointing accusingly, "I'm just trying to help, and you miss him so much. It's dreadfully obvious."

Samantha shook her head slowly grief plain on her face and kept walking while Lily stopped following.

"He's horrible without you too, you know that? …. I can't believe this, James' right; you're both just so bent on being miserable. You both can't wait for the other to cave first! Nothing will happen if this keeps going like this."

But Samantha remained bent on staying miserable. Everything had gone horribly. She had hoped that Remus would have been able to understand or at least sympathize over why she was reluctant to admit being half veela; he knew the stigma around being a half-breed. That ingrained fear that develops once you figure out that you're not like other kids. That only made the sting hurt that much worse over their break up. Maybe, I should just leave. That particular thought continued to ring in her ears.

Lily did her best to console Samantha but there were deeper rooted issues. And once Samantha noticed Hector's prolonged absences and darkening eyes it only grew worse. She refrained from outright screaming at him but she was sure that persistent bastard at had found the mirror again. Finding him while out of class had become nearly impossible.

Samantha stared down at the Daily Prophet as warning blared out at her from the ink telling her to avoid muggle towns. The murdered people were reported to be frequent visitors of muggle cities. She stopped reading once they started linking muggles stealing magic as a possible motive for the killings. She tossed the paper down the long empty library table.

A gloved hand stopped it from making it to the floor. Sirius picked it up and frown before crumpling it and tossing it into a nearby trash can. He was in full quidditch gear, shin guards and all.

"People are crazy." He took her silence as an invitation to sit. "If you're thinking of taking one of those apprenticeships, don't."

She eyed him warily as the paperwork and booklets that she had asked (or rather begged) Lucius for seemed to sear into her leg from its confines in the bag propped up against her.

She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "I don't care that you're half veela. Get that through your thick skull already. You belong here, not hiding out somewhere keeping to yourself. You'll always have a place here. Think about that."

With that Sirius got back up, grabbing his broom that he had leaned against the wall, and took off. She kept her eyes on him until the last bit of him was gone behind the endless sea of bookcases.

She frowned. He definitely didn't get that information from Lucius himself and he wasn't one to gossip. In fact she was pretty sure Lucius had at some point tried to get him expelled for the way the he and James hounded Severus.

She looked back down at her hands on the table. No, it was too late. She grabbed the booklets on available apprenticeships but the wrinkled ink from the trash-can continued to glare at her. But then something caught her eye.

She rushed over and plucked the paper out and smoothed it out. On the next page was a picture for Emma Whatson, one of the first people she met on her first trip to Hogwarts. It was her obituary. They labeled her as a possible suspect of magic theft.

She dropped the paper back into the trash. She shut her eyes remembering that she had left school last year and that Lily at some point mentioned that Emma had found someone to tutor her. Lily, she thought, Lily had been one of her best friends. She hadn't seen her all day.

Samantha dashed for her bag and ran out the library.

Lucius and Samantha were in the very back corner of the green house taking a few clippings of plants for Herbology to feed magical monsters. No matter how hard she tried it seemed that something that wanted to kill her was always being flung her way. They would have been done filling their basket sooner but Lucius kept stopping to scratch and poke at his arm.

"Are you just trying to be macho by not telling me you brushed up against the poison snake ivy? I swear who puts that kind of plant at a doorway." Samantha looked over to glare at him.

Lucius quickly lowered his sleeve hiding his forearm from view. "I'm fine. Save the concern for our work so you don't try to kill it … again."

"I didn't-"

"Hmm …"

"That was one time."

"And the one last month?"

"Total freak accident."

"Sure."

"Plus, why would I tick you off. You're the only reason I'll be able to pass this class."

Lucius snickered as he turned back to the plants in front of him. "Please remember that when we go back out there."

She leaned back and watched him as he gingerly plucked at the leaves to bend the stem in hopes of avoiding the thorns as he clipped them off. His sleeve was only partially wrinkled up, barely exposing his wrist.

She quickly looked around and noticed that everyone else was either gone or at the opposite end of the overly large hothouse. She eyeballed the rash ointment for a second and snatched it as soon as Lucius seemed distracted.

As swiftly and calculated as she could she grabbed Lucius' arm lifting it up and sprayed his arm before he even had a chance to protest.

Instead they both froze. Her eyes shifted back up to his as he grabbed her, shoving her back behind the potting benches out of view. She once again let her gaze settle to the forearm he had picked at nearly all day. A green serpent lay coiled blaring against his pale skin.

"Lucius!" She hissed with wide startled eyes.

He placed his hand over her mouth and gestured for her to stay silent. If it had been any other person she would have slapped him away. But this was Lucius. Sure he was a Slytherin and a bit supercilious but he wasn't that bad.

Someone could be heard walking over and stopped. With her luck it would be Sirius or worse Hector. Despite being a fellow Slytherin he had taken an extreme dislike to Lucius. She was sure it was that damn mirror that was making him practically loose his mind.

Soon the person left, leaving them to glare at each other in a huddled corner.

"What were you thinking?"

"Just stop." Lucius pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose and squinted his eyes shut. "Please, don't tell anyone. I know it doesn't look like it but I know what I'm doing."

"You're right it doesn't look like you know what you're doing."

He looked at her exasperated. "Excuse me but options are limited. You have no idea –"

"It doesn't have to be this way. This isn't you. You don't even agree with everything they're doing. You told me so!"

He placed his hands on her shoulders desperately looking around as if sensing anyone could listen in at any moment. "There are other factors. I need to do what's best for my parents. They had me late in life, they're old and the rest of my family …" He looked away as he trailed off.

The frown on his face stopped her in her tracks. She was ready with a rebuttal and a touch of insults but she didn't expect that.

"Dumbledore can help you. I can help you and your family. You can leave too."

Lucius scoffed. "Ya, me and Hector on a lovely trip. That would be wonderful."

She held her breath before letting it all out. "How … how did-"

"We share rooms … and I'm not an idiot. But by the look on your face I'd say you plan on leaving too. Tonight, if I guessed right."

It was now her time to scoff. "A war is going to break loose, is that where you want to be?"

He clenched his jaw. "It's were I need to be."

She opened her mouth to say something, anything to get him to change his mind, but she had seen that hard unwavering look before. There would be no reasoning with him today.

"But," was all she could muster.

"People I care about are in too deep."

She stared blankly at him trying to remember every bit of him the way he was at that exact moment.

She tried to stand, but he loosely placed his fingers around her wrist to stop her. "Is there no way for me to convince you not to leave?"

She shook her head letting her hair fall over her face. "It's were I need to be."

They both stayed there for several minutes letting it all sink in.

"If I see you out there, I won't hurt you. I don't think I could." It barely came out as a whisper but he knew she heard. "Besides, I've gotten too used to saving you all the time." A small cheerless smile graced his face.

She looked up, resting her head against the wall and closed her eyes to focus on the warmth emanating from him as they saw pressed against each other.

"I can't leave them."

"I know."

Silence once again entrapped them, both thinking words they couldn't possibly say.

Samantha dashed down the empty dark halls, fumbling with her bags and feeling unable to hold herself together. Her hair fell out of place as she tugged at the ends where she placed a small bag's strap around her neck. She gave a frustrated yank, pulling it off and making the rest of her bags fly out of her hands and clatter on to the floor.

Are you doing this for the sake of peace or to avoid Mr. Lupin?

Dumbledore's words echoed in her skull. He just had to make that remark at the end of dinner when he passed by her. He just had to, she though bitterly. She had replied with, 'I'm sure.' What kind of an answer was that?

Her chest tightened at the thought of Remus. Her heart stammered and as badly as her shaking hands. She leaned against a nearby wall and closed her eyes, listening to the soft snoring of the people in the painted walls.

"This will be the last time," She whispered as she let memories of Remus surface as she recalled as much detail as she could.

The way his hot breath against her neck would spark her skin alive with chills. How he would kiss a soft spot just below her ear as he would grab onto her hair. His finger tips on her bare skin.

She let out a low whimper trying to stop the onslaught of intimate memories. She let her chin drop down to her chest as she pushed herself off the wall. Maybe, just maybe -

"I know what you're planning. Don't do it."

At that moment she was sure that her heart had exploded, shattering into a thousand delightful pieces. Remus? She looked up pressing herself against the wall. Sirius was staring her down just a few feet away from where her bags laid carelessly on the floor.

"How did you find out?"

Sirius eye's searched hers. "Doesn't matter how I found out."

She grabbed her bags off the floor and stumbled away sure she had left a small bag behind. But she just wanted to get away. She had seen that calculated look in his eyes before. He always had that look right before he mentioned Remus or something that had some connection to him. Remus knew. He knew yet it was Sirius who was hunting her down the hall.

"You can't leave"

Samantha turned around tossing her hands in the air, still injured by the fact that Remus knew. "Why? Huh, why should I stick around?"

"Because, I said so!" His voice came out as a low exasperated growl.

"Seriously?"

"Well I am Sirius."

The air itself forced its way out of her lung, it too taken aback by the sheer audacity. She looked up at the ceiling momentarily trying to regain some sort of composure before stalking off.

He gripped her elbow tightly forcing her to stop. "Fine, I'm asking, me. I don't want you to leave."

"So? I don't see how that is supposed to change anything."

"Why are you making this so hard?"

"I'm not making this hard. You are by not letting me leave. And why shouldn't I leave? James can't even look at me straight and if Remus can't accept me then why should I even bother staying?"

"Because I don't want you to!"

"Why!?" She screamed back trying to force back the tears that threatened to once again cascade down her flustered face.

"Because." His voice came out barely above a whisper.

"Because what?"

Sirius tensed his shoulders as bit of blush crept across his face. "Because I love you, there, happy now? I said it. Don't give me that look, trust me it was a complete and utter shock to me too."

She froze blinking plainly at him unable to completely unable to process what had just happened, "What?"

His face turned a darker shade of red, his eyes no longer able to meet hers. "I don't know . . . one day I just looked at you then it was just BAM, I'm fucking in love with this fucking psychotic chick and I damn fucking love it! Everything just suddenly made sense!"

"Is this a joke?"

"Baby, let me tell you . . . I wish it was."

She watched as this foreign very un-Sirius expression of uneasiness wash away once again replaced with a deadly smirk with matching roguish eyes. She needed to stop this.

So she threw a bag straight at him as hard she could.

He caught the bag with a loud oomph nearly falling back. "Would you stop throwing shit at me? I'm Sirius!"

She brought her hands up readying herself to choke him to make him stop if need be. "I swear … I am going to kill you . . ."

But before she could make good on any threats he tossed the bag aside and grabbed her wrists. He pulled her towards him with such force that she slammed against his chest.

She parted her lips as she gasped for air but there was none. Sirius ducked his head to meets hers and firmly placed his lips against hers in such a desperate way that she didn't fight back as he slid his arms around her waist.

His kiss was feverish as if the kiss alone was trying frenziedly to change her mind. It seemed to have lasted forever and still ended too soon as his lips slowly parted away.

Then just as quickly the open desperate look crumpled, along with the rest of him. As he fell to the floor his eyes widen before closing as he lay on the floor. Once again, nothing made sense as she stared down at him.

A small cough caught her attention. Hector stood a good distance behind Sirius with his wand held up high. He looked upset and must have used a spell to make Sirius pass out. His took slow deliberate steps, each step a steady beat in the empty hall.

He stepped over Sirius' limp body and raised a hand holding the strap of one the bags she dropped and abandoned. He opened his palm for her to look at. In his hand mingled in with the strap was her necklace along with its broken clasp, the one that suppressed her veela powers.

Her hand trembled as she took it from him. For a moment everything she had felt was raw and alive then just as suddenly it came shattering down it what felt like every single piece of her. The weight of the pendent made the reality of what happened clear.

"I didn't want things to get out of hand. Your … veela," Hector paused, "… essence is more potent than usual tonight. It's better this way, Eve."

There was a steady pause and she became all too aware that all of the people in the paintings were awake and hang on their every movement.

Hector placed his hands on hers closing her fingers over the jewelry. "This is the right thing to do. You saw first-hand how powerful Voldemort supporters all. You can't run away from all this."

She nodded and looked up at him as his fingers brushed against her cheek. He wiped away the tears she hadn't realized had finally broken free. He took her bags and the walked down the hall to meet Dumbledore leaving Sirius abandoned on the floor and the painted people to whisper about what had happened.

While she stopped running from the oncoming war, she was still running. She couldn't look back; there was no going back now.

The long march to Dumbledore's office was endless but then time seemed to catch with her. The information Dumbledore gave them as they used his fireplace to leave to headquarters washed over her like the symphony of music. Different tones and elements crashing together into one solid piece making it work together.

Neil and Cleo had already left heading out to east to surrounding European countries to try to stop the spread of Voldemort's influence. They couldn't work with the Ministry since there were confirmed spies among them, which was how their 'order' had started.

It all washed together; different notes, different people. She wasn't the only one among them but considered one of the few who were in fulltime. There were no distractions for her anymore.

By the end of the night everything was in a jumbled mess inside her head. She stood in a dark room that would be hers from now on. She looked out of a small window of their headquarters and found herself surprised at how much she missed Sirius. The build up of pain was seeping through to the surface making it painful to breath.

She closed her eyes recalling the words of a man everyone called Mad-Eye, there is no going back. You cannot contact anyone at Hogwarts for their safety and to protect the secrecy of this group.

The empty room made her feel the weight of her own body. Her chest felt as if it dropped to the floor. She choked back an unexpected sob that refused stay hidden inside. She tried not to think about it but her body refused to. She desperately wanted to be back in Sirius' arms. But if I did, it wouldn't be real, the thought clung to her as she clutched tighter to the pendant in her hand. She threw it against the wall and fell to her knees, the hair around her draping over like bars caging her in her own thoughts.

I can't control the fact that I'm half veela. I can't change the way James and Remus feel towards me now. I can't make Sirius' feelings for me real. I may not even be able to fix the damage that I had caused Hector.

But I can make a difference in this war.

FIN

A/N:

I've decided to write the epilogue in Remus' point of view which should be up in a few weeks. I have an out line for it so hopefully it shouldn't take too long.

So, we have finally come to a (sorta) end! I have decided to go ahead and write the second part of this story. (I will post on this story when it is up so you don't have to do an author alert.)

Little interesting fact, when I first came up this idea everything you read so far was the back story. But when I started I really wanted to write a marauder fic so that is how this whole thing came to be.

As a little pre view for the next story, it will be split into three parts. Part one will be set during the first wizard war when it had just heated up, the second will mostly be towards the end of the first wizard war, and the third is set after a large time skip and take place from the HP books 3 -7 with lots of small time skips between chapters.

While I have the major parts outlined I would really like to know what you guys think and what you hope to see.