Dating in the Dark

Disclaimer: Most characters belong to Charlaine Harris.

Big love, many hugs and many many thanks to the great and wonderful treewitch703, as always, xx.

Thank you all for reading and extra thanks to those who've left reviews *blows big wet sloppy kisses*

Chapter 44: You Yourself and I-dream.

Dating Don't: Don't go on a date with more than one person at a time.

When I woke the next day Sam was once again my nurse in residence, only this time he wasn't alone. I think all women would feel frumpy next to the tall and beautiful Claudine, but when you're laying in your sick bed, already worried about how pathetic you are, it's hard to retain any sense of self worth at all.

"Fucking Vampires," she said with a bright smile. "They make it extremely hard to protect you while still abiding by the treaty?"

"Er … what?" She glanced at Sam who looked really shocked and left quickly. Claudine was in a very fitted summer dress, it was white with bright flowers on it. She had a daisy-chain in her hair and somehow contrived to smell more like a summer's day than the real thing. She sat on the edge of my bed, just as Eric had the night before, and took my wrist in her hand feeling my pulse.

"Since my job is to protect you, there are forces at work that help me know when you need me. But part of the current treaty between the Vampires and Fairies says we cannot monitor or interfere with each other's political systems so I don't get the message if what is happening to you is to do with vampire politics. Luckily Sam had the sense to call me." She kept smiling throughout and didn't seem to notice that she might as well have just been speaking in tongues for all the sense her comments had made to me.

She'd mentioned being my protector a few times before, when she stopped me crashing my car, and when she and Claude had shown up at the pack-master contest. She'd also turned up to pull me out of my house when it was on fire. That had been Charles of course but then that was a personal attack, not a political one, which I figured made a difference. But I didn't really know why she was protecting me, though at least I now knew why she only showed up some of the time.

I needed to start asking questions. After all I'd thought Bill was protecting me when it turned out he'd been the biggest danger of all. I figured I'd start at the beginning and take things one at a time.

"Why is it your job is to protect me?"

"I'm your Godmother." Her usual beaming smile overtook her face as she said this and she looked at me with pride. I stopped trying to plan my next question, too startled by this news. I couldn't take it seriously and giggled uncontrollably, I mean, a fairy godmother. Claudine waited, looking somewhat confused, for me to be ready to carry on. I wondered if she'd known my mom or my dad or both. I'd always thought she looked close to me in age but I had no idea how fairies aged. However I thought asking how old she was might be a bit rude.

"So how come I never heard of you before? When I was a kid I mean. Did you fall out with my parents when I was little or something?" I wondered if they'd known she was a fairy when they asked her to be Godmother to me.

"I didn't know your parents," she looked surprised at my question.

"But you said you're my Godmother," I said, confused again.

"I am, I was appointed and sent from Fae to watch over you. Our term is étrénaingid* but as that would mean nothing to you I translated." I'd never heard of Fae but I figured it was where fairies lived. I wondered where it was but that was a question that could wait.

"How come? Is a fairy sent for everybody?" Somehow I didn't think so, since other than Claudine and her brother I hadn't come across any others. You'd think they would be everywhere if everyone had one.

"No, you're special," she confirmed.

"Oh no, not again. Look, thanks and all, but I'd rather not be special, so whatever you want I'm really not interested." I folded my arms to emphasise my point. One thing I'd learned, people sent randomly to look out for you were sent by people who wanted something in return. Hurt and surprise flashed across her face but then understanding replaced it.

"We only want to protect you," she said gently. I could feel the overwhelming crushing sensation building up in me again and I gave a long slow exhale trying to push it out of me.

It was clear from her expression that Claudine knew all about what Bill had done whether she was supposed to or not. She leaned forward and put her hands on my head which was instantly soothing and calming. I pushed her hands away, I'd had enough of people manipulating my emotions. I was feeling dizzy but I held onto consciousness with a determined focus.

"You are not well enough to discuss this right now. I have brought medicine with me, it will help you." She held out a small fancy vial. It was very pretty and looked like it should hold a tiny sample of perfume rather than medicine.

"What is it?" I asked suspiciously, between 'wanting to protect me', affecting my emotions and now trying to get me to drink something, I was becoming more and more on edge. I was thinking of calling out to Sam, or asking Claudine to leave. I was starting to feel short of breath again I hated feeling this way.

"This is a restorative, it will help you to repair the damage to your body and recover your strength," I guess I was looking sceptical, because she smiled reassuringly at me. "I cannot blame you for being cautious. Here I will drink some too and I will leave the rest for you. Check with Healer Ludwig if you must, but please drink it, it really will help you." She seemed concerned for me and anxious to make me better but I didn't trust my judgement at the moment even with the 'good-vibe' I was feeling from her. Another sensation I didn't understand.

"What will help her? What are you giving my patient?" Came a sharp voice from beyond Claudine. She turned her attention to my first visitor. "Oh, Claudine, it's you." Clearly they knew each other and Claudine gave the Dr. a respectful nod. Ludwig bustled forward and brushed Claudine out of the way taking the vial from her as she did. She didn't look at it though, she looked at me. "You, calm yourself before your body shuts down again," she ordered harshly. For some reason her brusque manner was reassuring in a way Claudine's care and sympathy had not been. I found myself relaxing now that the tiny Dr was here.

Ludwig turned and inspected the fairy in an evaluating way before focusing her attention on the vial in her hand. "What have we got here then?" She peered closely at the side of the bottle. Though it looked opaque to me, apparently she could see what was inside. "Ah yes a restorative draft."

"Specially mixed in fae," said Claudine beaming away.

"Well OK then, let's see." Dr Ludwig tipped the bottle against her finger to leave a drop there and then tested it with her tongue. "Hmmm, Astragalus for cell regeneration, Hawthorn for the heart, Siberian ginseng root to enhance, Ho Show root to restore strength and muscles, Rehmania root to restore the blood and," she finally looked surprised and flicked her eyes at Claudine, "Azoth? I considered it of course but I couldn't be sure. Are you?"

"Yes, very," Claudine nodded. After a moment Dr Ludwig seemed to decide it was OK and she turned her attention to me. "This is a powerful combination, it should do the trick." She held out the vial and I looked at it still not sure what was going on. "Well, drink up girl, don't be stubborn, that is some process you went through."

"What process?" I took the offered vial but made no move to drink the medicine.

"The severing," she said as if this should be obvious.

"What's exactly is a severing?" I asked. I'd heard Eric and Pam talking about it before I retreated to … wherever it was I went, and I had an idea what it was but I was sick of things happening to me without having all the information.

"A severing is a spell that removes all vampire blood from a human. I have heard it is possible to do blood specific severings, if the witch has access to all sources of the blood, but I know of no instance of one being successful." There was something odd about the way Ludwig gave me this information, like she wasn't quite saying everything. "Severings are painful for the human and usually fatal, the vampire's blood that is in the human is literally destroyed."

"And I've had a severing?" She nodded with certainty.

"Only accelerated red blood cell destruction would cause the level of jaundice and bruising you had, though it doesn't explain why you were inert instead of writhing in agony from the cramps. Replacing the blood kept you ticking over but your system has taken a real battering." So Bill's blood in me has been destroyed. I hope it hurt him as much as me, or maybe even more! After all it was his blood, it had just been squatting inside my system. How much of him had been in me? I got the impression I'd needed a lot of blood transfused. And who had done the severing? Eric said he wouldn't risk it when Pam asked before, had he changed his mind? "Did you do it? The severing I mean?" I asked the Dr. I figured if Eric had ordered it, Ludwig would be who he asked. She looked offended. "Not that I'm complaining," I reassured her quickly. "I'm glad to be rid of Bill."

"No," she said categorically then busied herself checking my temperature and pulse.

I looked to Claudine, she'd said she was supposed to protect me after all. She looked less offended but smiled ruefully.

"We would never have risked it, the danger to you was too high. We would simply kill the vampire involved. It would have left the lingering effects of any blood influence but you would be safe." I thought about this for a moment, with the pain of the process I'd considered that just killing Bill might have been a better way to go but now it sounded like that wouldn't have done what I needed.

"So if you'd killed Bill, I'd still feel like I cared about him because that's what he was using his blood to make me feel?"

"Yes. This way is better, since it undoes all the effects. Plus it saves us risking retaliation. If a vampire's death was traced back to fairies that could happen. We were prepared, we'd already decided we could not allow a vampire to remain connected to you. With severing being so dangerous an execution order was issued against the vampire who had given you blood. Now, since someone else has performed the magic and you survived it, we're all quite relieved." I wasn't sure whether to laugh or be worried about Claudine's casual approach to killing Bill. I had to admit a big part of me was disappointed it was no longer necessary for the fairies to kill my ex. However having just helped avert a major conflict I didn't want to be responsible for starting a different one, even to be rid of Bill forever.

"There is no need to start trouble between the vamps and fairies now, right?" I asked.

"No the execution has been cancelled. We know there are other vamps that are interested in you because of your skill but as long as you stay away from their blood it's not a problem. Nasty stuff vampire blood, the only safe solution for all concerned is to end the vampire it belongs to." Claudine smiled happily as if talking about holding a birthday party for a beloved friend not the final death of a sentient being.

I wanted to change the subject since it had finally clicked what Ludwig had been hinting at and why she hadn't said it outright. I needed time to process everything. I was fairly confident now that neither the vampires nor the fairies had done the severing but I needed time to think. I settled myself more comfortably and let my eyes droop a little.

"You are tired and I need to go." Claudine smiled kindly at me. "I will visit you soon, when you are stronger, and we will talk then," She clearly had something specific in mind she wanted to talk about. I was glad it was something that could wait until I was feeling better.

I dropped my sleepy act once Claudine was gone and watched Dr Ludwig, waiting for a chance to speak to her. She was avoiding my eye and keeping busy as she sprayed my room with some sort of air-freshener that didn't smell of anything to me. The label on it said Fae-away.

Even when she came over to check my vitals she was still avoiding my gaze.

"Thank you," I said, she looked at me with sharp eyes. "For not saying anything to Claudine about …" The tiny Dr held up a hand to silence me.

"You need to get better soon, I want as little to do with this as possible," she said.

"With what?" I still wasn't sure what exactly 'it' was, though once again it seemed I was slap-bang in the middle of something.

"I don't know and I don't want to. But I do know that every time there is run-in between fairies and vampires a lot of people die."

"Why? Because vampires find fairies so tasty?"

"That doesn't help but it's more complicated than that. There is a lot of politics and history. Claudine is part of a powerful family, one not adverse to removing vampires simply because they happen to be there, and that Viking of yours has killed his share of fae too. I want nothing to do with it. So just you get better and then I can get out of here, OK," she ordered. I nodded and she held out the little bottle Claudine had left that I'd put to one side. "Bottoms up."

I did as I was told. I'd expected it to taste nasty or have at least a medicine-y taste about it, but it tasted like slightly flavoured spring water, only from the freshest spring you could imagine. Dr Ludwig nodded approvingly and straightened my sheets.

"Dr Ludwig, who can perform a severing? And how is it done?" She gave me a stern look for a moment but after a deep breath came to a decision and answered me.

"It is usually performed by a magic practitioner, a witch, warlock or member of the fae, it requires the bringing together of four powerful energy forces, Life, Mind, Entropy and Prime." I must have looked lost because she tutted and then continued to talk while giving me another blood transfusion.

She explained how 'Life' was drawn from the elements, air, fire, water or earth, which was why the fae were often the ones to perform this type of magic. Apparently they are the essence of life and are tied to the elements, all fae having an affinity with at least one of them. Mind, was fairly self explanatory, the force of thought, memory, psyche. Any practitioners of magic wanting to perform this sort of spell have some level of control in this area. They had to be strong enough to keep the mind completely focused during castings. Ludwig told me some horrific things could happen if a single stray thought crossed their mind at the wrong time. It explained why the stronger witches I'd met could block me, they had better control over their own minds than most people. Like me they had learned to shield out unwanted thoughts. (Though in their case it would be their own rather than other people's.)

Entropy was the power of order and chaos, the energy most connected with fate and future. It was this energy that made casting the spell so dangerous, not only to the blood-tied human but to the spell caster. Even the tiny amount of this energy required for the spell was incredibly hard to control. Its very nature was to be erratic and unpredictable. I'd experienced this before too, it was what Loki used. From my small experience of it, Ludwig's description sounded about right. She unhooked me from her equipment as she finished her explanation. "Then there is Prime, this is the most illusive yet most present energy in the universe. It is the quintessential primary force, the 5th element – that thing combines all the others to make life, nobody has identified the source of this energy but certain practises have proven to enable practitioners to draw on it."

"What sort of practises?" I asked. I was feeling a little stronger for the blood but still not great.

"Nothing you would like to hear about," she said sharply. I frowned. "Anyway, usually it is the human that the spell is being cast on that is used for this."

"You're talking about human sacrifice!" I drew back from her.

"Not exactly, the life is threatened, not necessarily taken, but then obviously, for the threat to be genuine there is a risk." I guess my disapproval was clear and present because Ludwig gave me a 'this is the bare-knuckles truth' gaze. "Look girl, most of us like humans, but they are plentiful and relatively inferior in knowledge, strength and power. For most non-humans they are the obvious choice when this sort of thing is needed. Besides, the magic just doesn't work without them, we don't know why. I'm not saying it's right, I'm saying it's the way it is. Why do you think I won't perform the ritual?" I remembered how offended she'd looked when I'd asked if she'd cast the spell, it made more sense now.

"Sorry," I mumbled. She patted my hand and continued clearing away her equipment.

I'd ruled out the vampires, fairies and Dr Ludwig. My mind drifted over to Loki but I hadn't had the impression he'd even noticed Bill particularly when he was here, Eric was his obsession and I was still connected to the Viking. Whoever had performed the severing, it didn't sound like someone I was going to like if they performed human sacrifices. But then that didn't necessarily make them an enemy, they had freed me from Bill's influence. Whoever had done it, Ludwig didn't know any more than I did so I put it aside to think about later. There was plenty she did know and I was hoping she'd speak to me.

Claudine had said vampires and fairies were enemies. I knew, if they were near each other, that there was a good chance Eric would kill Claudine – not necessarily because he'd choose to, so much as that just seemed to be what happened when vampires were near fairies for too long. Now it sounded like Claudine might kill Eric too – given the chance – if she knew I still had his blood in me. I'd been worried when Pam had first told me the connection was less noticeable but if it saved Eric from the fairies it could only be good. I knew so little about Claudine's kind I realised.

"Can you tell me about Fairies?" Ludwig looked at me for a moment, pondering, then seemed to settle some internal debate.

"Like all races you get good and bad and all sorts in between. They can be very vicious when angered, and very crafty and sly. Get on the wrong side of a fairy and death will be a blessing, they rarely do it quickly. But they are also very loyal to their own and when, like Claudine, on the path to a higher plane, they are very positive forces. Fairies cannot lie, but do not let that fool you, there are many truthful ways to deceive." Though Ludwig was trying to be fair I got the impression she wasn't a big fan of fairies. Yet she'd seemed on good terms with Claudine and had approved the medicine she'd brought.

"That stuff she gave me?" I asked suddenly not sure I should have swallowed it after all.

"Is a restorative draft like I said, there was nothing in there that could hurt you, only healing." Ludwig was pretty darn sure of that so I accepted it. "If Claudine has been sent to protect you, you can trust that she will act in a way she believes to be best for you, but people do not always agree regarding what is best." She eyed me in a way that I read to mean Claudine and Eric were unlikely to agree with each other. And most importantly that I might not agree with either of them.

If Claudine knew I still had Eric's blood in me the fairies would try to kill him, but even Ludwig didn't seem to know how Bill's blood had been removed without Eric's going too. She did seem happy to keep my remaining connection to Eric a secret from the fairies which was good. Maybe it fell under patient confidentiality. After all, whose blood I had in me was surely no-one's business but mine and theirs. Just to be on the safe side I decided to say nothing to Eric about Claudine and nothing to Claudine about Eric until I had more information. I didn't want to end up as Helen of Troy in a fae-vamp war.

It became clear Dr Ludwig was not going to tell me any more.

"You need to heal. Sleep and give your body a chance to recover, the rest of it will still be waiting for you when you are stronger." I frowned at the thought but laid down in my bed anyway. I found I was suddenly tired and sleep was calling me.

"Thank you for helping me Dr Ludwig," I said referring to both the treatment and the answers she'd given me.

"Well just don't make me regret it." she said, she waved her hand over me and sleep pulled me into dreams more quickly than it ever had before.

[***]

Merlotte's was full of the familiar faceless regulars that seem to constantly fill the place. Jane Bodehouse managed to tip her drink over me which made Andy Bellefleur cheer and start french kissing her. I was rushing about filling an impossible number of orders and blocking the hateful thoughts that eddied around me wherever I went. Sam tried to shrug off the naked Loki who was behind him brushing his hair as he passed me another pitcher of beer but Loki would not be shrugged. Still, the thoughts came at me: Crazy Sookie, stupid Sookie, nice-ass-pity-she's-so-simple Sookie. I beamed my crazy smile at them all and continued fetching pitchers of beer and spicy-were-burgers. It seemed like a normal shift.

But I knew that at any moment a vampire was going to walk into the bar, that he would be there for me and that he would change everything. I felt fear. He would hurt me, I just knew it. Yet he was coming, I could almost feel him getting closer. The anticipation was killing me and I wished he'd just get here already.

Somehow I was looking right at the doors when they opened so I saw him walk in.

He was in jeans and a t-shirt as usual. And, as usual, he seemed to be wandering around with his own personal wind machine rippling his hair. His eyes sought mine the moment he entered and all the voices in my head silenced. I wasn't crazy and stupid and simple, I was the person this dangerous, powerful, beautiful man had come to see. The intensity was terrifying. He walked towards me and I took a step backwards. I was just thinking of hiding in the kitchen when suddenly he was before me, reaching out to capture my face in his huge hand.

He curled his fingers around the side of my neck, pushing my chin up with his thumb so I had to meet his eye. His cool hand heated my skin, I could feel the blush on my breasts. I knew he was enjoying the throb of my pulse against his palm, it was beating harder and harder, echoing in my ears with every thump. My chest was heaving and he pulled me slightly closer to him so that, beneath my t-shirt, my nipples teased against his torso with each inhalation. His thumb stroked the soft flesh under my chin slightly as his fingers kept a firm grip on my neck, but it was the grip of his eyes that held me in place.

"You avoid contact because you know how much you like it when I touch you," he said as my skin tingled from scalp-tightening root to curling toe. I wanted to deny it but my body was answering for me. He leaned forward, placing his lips at my ear, creating even more friction against my nipples as I failed to calm my breathing. "Tell me Sookie," he whispered. Around us Merlotte's continued to run as usual, no one seemed to notice that in the centre of the room time had stopped as Eric warmed my blood with the danger of his presence. "Tell me where you want me to touch you."

Suddenly his eyes met mine, his face so close that it would take only the slightest movement on my part for our lips to meet. I'd put my hands on him in protest and could feel the firm slope of his biceps under the silky material of his t-shirt. I knew the problem wasn't just that I wanted him to touch me, it was that I wanted to touch him. I wanted to trace the contours of those muscles, I wanted to stroke his hair and grip it in passion, I wanted to …

"No!" I insisted pushing him away with a strength that surprised us both. I could not betray him! I wouldn't. I ran from the building, no one so much as glanced as I fled.

Grass whipped against my legs as I ran deeper and deeper into the forest, I could hear nothing but my own panting but I didn't slow. I felt so vulnerable out here in the open. I needed safety, I needed sanctuary. I needed him to keep me safe. I ran into something solid with a thump.

Strong familiar hands caught me before I could fall. I slowly raised my eyes from the wall of chest before me to see those deeper than the ocean blue eyes looking at me. They were not mocking as they had been in the bar, they were sweet and full of concern.

"Sookie, what are you doing out here? You should be inside, it is late and not safe for you," he said. There was something different in the timbre of his voice, like it hadn't been hardened by centuries of survival. But it wasn't possible. I'd needed him and he was here, just like before.

"Eric?" He smiled in confirmation as he inhaled my scent with pleasure. It couldn't be, I'd just left his other self. My Eric was gone, how could he be here, holding me in the forest? But it was him, I knew it, I knew it in every fibre. No one else's embrace could bring the comfort of his. "I thought you'd left me," I said unable to stop the tears.

"But I'm right here," he replied with a confused smile. I gripped him looking far into those deep eyes for the truth.

"You doubt me?" He looked hurt. "I told you Sookie, everything I am is yours, I will lay it at your feet or discard it completely if this is what you want." His fingertips stroked my face.

"I just want you," I begged.

"I am yours." That beautiful smile, it made me want to melt but I held firm.

"No, you're not mine, not really." I knew this wasn't real, my Eric had only ever been a dream.

"Let me show you." And my Eric was wrapping me in his arms, pressing his lips to my mouth, his tongue bringing tears of joy as it searched for mine.

My Eric, the beautiful, powerful, incredible creature that had orbited me like I was the sun, that had been prepared to live and die for me, (well exist and finally die) that made me feel gorgeous and powerful and cherished in a way that I'd never thought possible. I'd thought him gone forever, a dream from which I had awoken, but here I was in his arms. I felt weak with relief to find him here, or had he found me? I wasn't sure and I didn't care as long as he kept kissing me.

Eventually I had to pull my lips from his in order to breathe but he persisted in his attentions moving to my throat. As he sucked and nibbled at my skin he crouched to sweep an arm under my legs and then gently laid me on the forest floor. Sliding further down my body he grabbed my t-shirt and pushed it up until my bra was revealed. Even as his hands worked their way underneath me to find the clasp his lips were at the material covering my already hard nipples, unable to wait.

Once they were finally free my Eric attacked my breasts with enthusiasm. His tongue curled around and the sucking was driving me crazy. My eyes closed and my head tipped back, I knew last year's leaves were starting to tangle in my hair as I writhed under him. My outstretched fingers curled into the pine needle scattered earth. No one could make me feel like he did.

"I told you you like it when I touch you," said a teasing voice in my ear. My eyes sprung open. Eric was laying beside me on the ground, watching me with amusement. At the same time, Eric was continuing his attentions on my breasts. Gasping from a mix of my Eric's suckling and shock at finding his more mischievous twin beside me, I was unable to speak. With a roguish smile the Eric beside me reached out and plucked a leaf from my hair.

"He isn't you," I argued trying to twist my head away but unable to move more than that as I was pinned in place by my-Eric.

"Are you sure?" Rogue-Eric asked, his eyes challenging mine. I grunted in frustration, couldn't he just leave me alone to enjoy his other self.

"Did I hurt you?" My-Eric asked looking up my body at me with concern.

"No," I reassured him.

"Are you sure?" He asked in exactly the same way rogue-Eric just had, drawing a laugh from the latter. I thought for a moment.

"No, you didn't hurt me, but I miss you," I admitted. My-Eric's eyes glowed at me in affection,

"I miss you too, but I am here," he slid his way up me so his mouth could meet mine. For a moment all distractions were erased and I was lost in his kiss. Then I felt an odd tugging and pulled my mouth from my-Eric's to see rogue-Eric suckling on my fingers.

"Stop that," I told him.

"You want me to stop lover?" asked my-Eric looking hurt.

"No not you, him," I said indicating the rogue-Eric with my eyes.

"I don't understand," said my-Eric with a sad smile then returned to the business of licking and kissing as much of me as he could get at.

"I bet you taste scrumptious," said rogue-Eric still licking at my fingers.

"Yeah I'm just as sweet as can be," I said through a gasp as my-Eric sucked a nipple deep into his mouth.

"And what about me? How do I taste?" Rogue-Eric asked rubbing his thumb over my lips. I'd licked him before I'd even thought about it. How did Eric taste? Did the Erics taste different? Did I taste different to them? Do oranges taste different to someone who's never even had apples than to someone who's tried every fruit there is? Rogue-Eric was still stroking my lips with his thumb waiting for his answer.

"You taste of memories, of bitter sweet memories, of perfect moments that are gone." I wasn't sure where that came from but it seemed true.

"A little ironic don't you think," rogue-Eric replied, he was moving closer, his breath fanning my lips as he spoke. I meant to turn my head from him but somehow I turned towards him instead. His eyes filled my vision and his breath fanned my lips.

"Since you seem to think I am such a frog perhaps you should kiss me," rogue-Eric said, our faces just millimetres apart.

"I kissed him and he turned into you," I pointed out.

"Then maybe it works in reverse," he answered and pressed his lips to mine. Kissing this Eric wasn't like kissing my-Eric, they were both exciting but there was a different type of thrill attached to this Eric, a danger and an aspect of the forbidden. I could feel his fangs and ran my tongue over them causing him to shiver. It made me feel powerful. When kissing my-Eric I felt the power of a protector, with this Eric I felt powerful because he was powerful and yet I still affected him.

"I could kiss you for hours," said my-Eric pulling his lips from mine. I felt my brow furrow in consternation and looked down to see rogue-Eric now working on my breasts. He glanced up at me to tip a wink then focused on the job at hand – or the job at mouth, I should say. My-Eric was watching my face waiting for a response.

"I think we did kiss for hours," I smiled at him. There was a gentleness to his eyes which, when coupled with the immense strength I knew he possessed, was overwhelming. How could one creature be such a mix of contradictions? How could he be everything and nothing? The most real man I'd ever known and yet little more than a passing fantasy.

"We did many things for hours," my-Eric said trailing his lips down over my collar bone until he reached the other breast to the one already occupied. I looked down to see an Eric at each nipple.

"Watch me Lover," said my-Eric glancing up at me. If he was aware of the rogue-Eric he wasn't concerned. Scraping across my skin with a fang he drew a little blood which he then proceeded to lick up in long, torturously slow laps. Rogue-Eric lifted up and shifted so our heads were near each other again. While my-Eric suckled, rogue-Eric reached out a hand and brushed his fingers over the breast he'd just vacated, reaching the nipple he rolled it between his forefinger and thumb before pulling on it slightly.

I felt a particularly strong answering throb down below and my body flinched with it. Rogue-Eric moved his face closer to mine.

"I'm better than him you know," he said tempting my lips with his. I was about to tell him to fuck off when I was distracted by my-Eric who lifted up onto his knees and started removing his shirt. He took his time and I watched the long manly fingers of a single hand work down a row of buttons revealing the creamy alabaster beneath. I was so taken with the play of his muscles as he slipped the shirt from his shoulders that I was barely aware that rogue-Eric had taken a firmer grip on his half of my boobs and was now circling the nipple with this thumb making both tighten. My-Eric looked at me his eyes full of devotion and trust. I glanced to my side, the same blue eyes danced with teasing. My mind was confused but my body wasn't. Another throb yanked at my stomach muscles in a very pleasant way.

Rogue-Eric leaned in and kissed me again. It was hard and passionate, insistent and triumphant at once. I wanted to protest but I was too busy kissing him back. My-Eric started to unbutton my shorts while his tongue drew shapes on my skin. I felt completely overwhelmed by the physical sensations as rogue-Eric worked my mouth with his. Our kissing was full of need, kissing that would usually be accompanied by thighs clenching hips, but my legs were under the lips of my-Eric who was kissing his way down them as he slowly removed my shorts. My hand fisted in rogue-Eric's hair forcing the angle of his head to my liking, a rumble like thunder rolled over me and his enthusiasm increased.

The undergrowth of the forest created an impossibly soft blanket as I lay there between two identical vampires that were so different. The Erics had very talented hands and with four sets of digits working their way round my body I was lost in the sensations for a while. Lips and finger tips had me arching into them as every nerve in my body ached to be touched and then was. My-Eric had slid back up my body to take his turn at kissing me again. Unlike rogue-Eric, his kisses were slow and gentle, soothing and comforting. I wanted to pour myself into him and bask in his attentions. I stroked his face, his hair, his neck as his mouth caressed mine.

Rogue-Eric was watching us curiously, his spectator status voided by the fact that he was stroking my mound, his fingers teasing over the lace of my panties. I knew I should try to prevent him but I couldn't bear the thought of him stopping, I tried to stay focused on my-Eric as he tasted every inch of my throat but rogue-Eric had other ideas. Much as I had enjoyed the tantalising process of my-Eric's slow strip, it didn't match the sharp thrill as rogue-Eric ripped his t-shirt from his body like it was nothing more than tissue paper, the move made all the more potent by his casual manner, it was in his way, he removed it.

My t-shirt received the same treatment and since my-Eric had discarded my bra I was left with nothing but my panties, on which the sharp attention of rogue-Eric's gaze now fixed. He eyed them with intent his face the picture of someone plotting an assault on a guarded fortress. Another thrill ran through me at the thought of his invasion.

My-Eric claimed my attention again as his lips returned to mine, his mouth so exquisite, his kisses so blood-tingling, I thought my heart might burst from the joy of him. Rogue-Eric would not be ignored for long though his fingers traced the patterns of lace somehow missing the point I most wanted him to touch, he tested the perimeter, a fingertip lifting the elastic without moving in.

I felt my body twist slightly towards him seeking satisfaction, even as I continued to kiss my-Eric. Rogue-Eric laughed but his fingers did breach the boundary of my panties and start to explore the feathery down beneath. my-Eric was massaging a breast, his hand keeping pace with his tongue.

"He's not enough for you," came the deep husk of rogue-Eric who had placed his mouth right by my ear so his lips teased the skin when he spoke. He punctuated his comment by sliding a finger into me. I gasped into my-Eric's mouth and he pulled back slightly.

"Lover," he breathed, his eyes dilated with passion. I wanted to tell him I loved him but just as I was about to speak rogue-Eric added a second finger and curled them both so that the only sound that escaped me was a strangled moan of pleasure.

Distracted from the sweet ministrations of my-Eric I looked over to see an expression of smug satisfaction on rogue-Eric's face, he'd done it on purpose. I felt a type of anger flare inside me and he pushed his pumping fingers deeper into me in response making something else primal flare in me too.

I glared at him as my legs spread wider and my hips bucked. My-Eric was licking and sucking at my neck, his hand kneading a breast was now in rhythm to match his counter-part's fingers. The combination of the sweet romance of my-Eric and the thrilling teasing of rogue-Eric had my eyes rolling back as I squirmed between them. Both moved in closer and I realised that at some point they'd lost their remaining clothes.

Slowly, rogue-Eric removed his fingers making me moan for their loss, I tried to reach down to keep them working. He caught my hand and pulled it up to his mouth. Sucking on my fingers he then offered me his. I accepted his offering, tasting myself as I curled my tongue about both that had been inside me. My-Eric had moved down to my breasts again and rogue-Eric rolled me gently onto my side, towards the first, so he could tuck himself behind me.

His lips were at my ear.

"You'll have to ask me Sookie," he said as I felt firm silken skin push against my thigh. He dropped his hand to lift my leg. "Ask me," he begged, his fingers stroking the soft skin of my inner thigh. I meant to say no, but the word that came out was "Please," as I arched my back to give him easier access. His soft tip nudged at my wet folds and my-Eric guided him in. I was so wet he slid in easily despite his size and I sighed with contentment at the feeling of fulfilment.

My-Eric looked up at me to make sure I was watching him as he drifted his head down from my breasts. His mouth reached my slit, his tongue flashed out and licked. I felt my muscles clamp down on rogue-Eric who pushed deeper into me in response.

Pulling my leg outwards rogue-Eric rolled onto his back bringing me over with him so I was on top of him. My legs were spread as I lay, my back on his chest, looking up at the canopy of the trees. I felt vulnerable and exposed, a feeling intensified by the fact that rogue-Eric was holding my arms out to the sides. But his repositioning gave my-Eric more access and he moved in to cover me, offering the protection of his head over my most private area. My back arched pushing me down on rogue-Eric as my-Eric spread my lower lips with his fingers to get better access with his tongue.

"He may bring you pleasure but I'm the one that fills you," whispered rogue-Eric against my ear.

"I'd enjoy you more if you'd shut up!" I gasped at him as my-Eric sucked hard.

"No you wouldn't," rogue-Eric replied smugly, "you love to hear my voice when I'm fucking you," the combination of his words and the vibrations of his speech that rumbled from his body straight into mine caused an erotic spasm through me that negated any argument I might have made. My-Eric added a few vibrations of his own and I moaned as my body surrendered to them. Rogue-Eric released my hands so his were free to add to the pleasant sensations running over my skin. I was worried he would get in his own way but then both of him started moving and I stopped worrying about anything at all. The two of them proceeded to work my body leaving me powerless to do anything but ride against them.

I had one hand, up over my shoulder gripping the hair of rogue-Eric tight enough to have been very painful for a human, he attacked my neck with his lips and blunt teeth while maintaining a steady upward rhythm with his hips. My other hand held my-Eric against me as he hummed and licked at me making wave after wave of pleasure shiver through me. Their actions were titillating my nerves, plucking at my body like a stringed instrument. I was lost to them both.

Rogue-Eric was keeping his stroke slow and steady, seeming to fill me deeper each time. When he pulled back I just wanted him to fill me again and cried out in pleasure each time he did. My-Eric was still working that sensitive bundle of nerves until I felt all of my insides starting to coil in preparation. The tension inside me was building fast and I tried to up the pace with my hips. Rogue-Eric gripped them, holding me still and my-Eric put his palm on my stomach pushing me onto his other self. As the Erics held me steady I begged 'please now' in desperation, I was so close.

Rogue-Eric sank his fangs into my neck as my-Eric sank his fangs into my thigh, his thumb pressed against my clit as I came harder than I thought possible, drawing rogue-Eric's seed from him with the strength of my inner embrace. The resulting shudder ran through us all as we slid together down the rabbit hole.

When I became sensible, I was on my side and my-Eric was nowhere to be seen. All that was before me was trees.

"Eric?" Had he left me again? I felt arms encircle me from behind.

"I am still here lover," came the voice in my ear. I rolled over to look at him, careful not to dislodge myself from his encircling hold. Rogue-Eric was smiling at me, his eyes were soft, like my-Eric, but I knew which it was.

"You're not him," I said snuggling against his chest anyway.

"No I'm not," his voice was slightly sad. But then, "I'm better," he added wickedly. I looked up and his eyes were dancing but he was still smiling at me. The comfort of his presence warmed my soul and I grabbed his head to pull myself up to his lips. Dammit, he was right.

[***]

I opened my eyes to see Eric, once again sat on my bed, watching me. His eyes were burning with curiosity and I was torn between the lingering lust, confusion, and embarrassment. How long had he been watching me sleep? Assuming the feelings I had when dreaming were as accessible to Eric as the ones I had when awake, he'd have experienced himself almost as much sat watching as he just had in my dream. My body still throbbed with the aftermath of climax.

His lips were tempting me, reality and fiction had gotten so mixed up lately, I could no longer tell one from the other, I did the only thing that made sense to me. I kissed him. I kissed him with everything I had in me. I poured all my gratitude, my affection, my desire, into that kiss. I wasn't sure if I did love this Eric, but I knew I could. I knew I so easily could.

He kissed me back. It was the kind of kiss only Eric could give, though it held something sweeter, something less urgent than when I'd kissed him before. Something of his other self that I missed so terribly.

As they descended, he was trying to be careful of his fangs, which I thought was sweet but unnecessary. I loved his fangs. With Pam and … well with other vampires, I'd always been slightly disconcerted but Eric's were such a natural part of him that even when I fantasised about a 'human' Eric, one that could bathe in the sunlight with me, he had fangs.

In order to reassure him, I pushed my tongue up to curl under and round one of them. He moved in for a deeper kiss at the same moment and my tongue caught the sharp tip. I felt a light sting and the warmth that told me my blood had been drawn. Immediately Eric sucked my tongue deep into his mouth with a deep groan of pleasure as he tightened his arms around me.

My hands had been gripping his strong broad shoulders and I moved my fingers up and along to stroke the sensitive skin at the back of his neck under his hair. I could feel his chest vibrating with a growl or a purr of some kind, it seemed to resonate right through me in the most delicious way.

I was back on the pillows. Eric was glaring at me in horrified shock. Eric was gone.

I forced myself to take a breath. Then another. I stretched out with all my senses trying to understand. Eric was gone. But he'd definitely been here. I could still taste him. Still feel the tingle on my lips from his. I closed my eyes and backtracked. Damn vampires did everything so fast I was always playing catch up. We'd been settling into a nice rhythm when I'd felt something go through him, like an electric shock or energy wave. Then, with a carefully balanced exertion of force and gentleness, I was moved back into the pillows.

His lips had been slightly pinker from kissing. I was sure mine were still pleasantly swollen and blood darkened too. There had been something haunted in the eyes that glared at me, eyes which you knew had watched a millennium of years, of nights, of hours, pass. Then Eric was gone.

I pulled the covers right up to my chin protectively as I tried to make sense of it. The way he'd pulled me off of him, the way he'd looked at me, I shuddered. It felt like I'd violated some unspoken deal between us. That haunted look was mine now. He'd given it to me.

[***]

Perhaps I should have been concerned with what had happened to me, with what I planned to do regarding Bill and everything he'd put me through, but I was distracted by what had happened with Eric. The look in his eyes seemed to be seared into my eyeballs, it was all I could focus on. I felt awful, an emptiness that somehow felt heavy had set up camp inside me. After not pressing the call button on Eric's number more times than I could count, I finally called Pam instead. It took her a long time to answer which was unusual. When she did she sounded like her normal self though.

"I … er … have you seen Eric?" I asked hesitantly.

"Tall, blonde, arrogant smirk? Of course I've seen him, he's the vampire that turned me," she said in her usual droll tones.

"I meant tonight Pam, have you seen Eric tonight?" I said with forced patience.

"Yes, he is here at Fangtasia," there was tension in her voice now.

"Is he … OK?"

"He has suffered no injuries."

"It's just, I thought maybe … that I'd upset him." There was a long silence. "We were … talking and he just … took off," I expanded.

"He remembered something," schlarunch, "that he had to do," she finished after the odd noise down the phone.

"Oh, well, as long as he's OK. I just … tell him … thank you, for all his help … I didn't get a chance and …"

"I'll tell him."

"Or maybe I should call him?"

"No. He's not available … something has come up that has him … preoccupied."

"Right. Of course. I know how busy he is, I don't want to disturb him or keep him from anything important. But he didn't mention … he's not upset with me?"

"He has not said that he is." She hung up before I could say more.

* étrénaingid: Made up from é – one, trén – strong or using all one's strength, aingid – protects (Old Irish)

A/N: Yes I know its cheating to sneak in a lemon by the medium of dreams but honestly I just couldn't wait until Eric and Sookie get their act together (they are so much trouble) and besides, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to have two Erics at once :)

More soon. xx