It was a short chapter, but here comes the next! I put "Desert Lands" by Trading Yesterday on to listen to as I sat down with this in mind, and it fits perfectly for him to her, I think. For the end of the chapter, I listened to "Closer" by Kings of Leon. Perfect. Sigh, I am so in love with Eric, whether he's leering at her in the books or whether he's wrapping himself around her in my mind. I recommend listening to that song before reading or while reading this chapter so you'll understand what he's feeling as they are driving. It will be from her point of view, so the song will help. And if you can imagine him looking at her as they're driving, your insides will do little flip flops as mine did! And I have never been to Shreveport - it may be as flat as a pancake. But in this effing story, you'll know it's not flat. So don't go all getting geographically correcting on my ass. I don't care what the real Shreveport looks like as it pertains to this story. :)

Dislaimer: Charlaine Harris owns the SVM series. My last name isn't Harris.

Chapter Thirty Six

He stopped, and I could see that we were up high and at the edge of some kind of steep bluff or something. And remembering something, I just had to ask.

"Did you bring me all the way out here to pay last respects to my car, or is this somewhere else?"

"Somewhere else" he said, and he kissed my hand. He flashed me a grin and slid out of the seat to stand. He left his door open and walked around to the back of the car. He opened the trunk, and pulled a blanket out, closing the trunk again. I turned and found I couldn't stop staring at the lights below us. It was beautiful, breathtaking. And we were alone, and it was quiet and dark. The wind was gently blowing my hair a bit. It wasn't as warm up here, but it wasn't cold enough to pry myself away from this sight. I felt him come up behind me, and felt the blanket around my shoulders.

"Here lover, it is somewhat windy tonight." He kissed my head and walked back to the car. I listened to the sounds, and took in everything. I could hear the wind; I could hear the low hum of the traffic on the interstate below us.

Suddenly the headlights dimmed, and my eyes took in the lights below us as they popped in the dark. I heard a guitar strumming out a gentle melody behind me, and heard his doors shut. I turned to him leaning through the window to turn up the sound, and met his eyes as he straightened. He was standing there, taking me in. A voice came floating across the wind, gently blowing past me.

"Standing alone with my heart in your hands......Longing to just breathe you in" the words drifted to me. He walked to me, never breaking his gaze. The lights below held no interest for him. He held out his hand and took mine, gripping it firmly and leading me to the car.

"The hood will warm you. Let me," he said as he took me by the waist and set me atop his hood. I started to protest, fearing my butt would put an imprint in his hood.

"The older Vettes were solid metal, not the flimsy material they use today. Relax" he smiled, as he slid himself back on the hood as well. He scooted back to the windshield, and laid down against the curve of the car.

"Lay down, lover." He held his arm up to help me lean back, and I let myself lean back into him. I curled up against him. Not warm, but smells very good I thought.

It was quiet except for the voice drifting on the wind to us and the gentle strums of the guitars.

"...But I will give my life to win your heart.....And I will tear apart my soul

I'll give away all I know to bring you home.....For all that is true, for all of the way....With all of my life

You hold my heart, you have my love....You are my bride...."

I put my head on his chest as he layed his arms back above his head. I closed my eyes, and breathed him in, listening to the song and the wind.

"Lover, look up."

I turned my head to the side to look. My eyes were met with a backdrop of black, and embedded in it were an infinite number of silent tiny stars. It took my breath away, and I let out a quiet "oh".

"Mmm-hmm" he agreed. He was staring up at the stars as well, enjoying the peace and tranquility of this secluded place as much as me. I listened again and let my mind wander. I thought of how intense my happiness had become, and how much I loved Eric and wanted to be by his side always. Not just on the hood of his car as he gave me the stars, literally, but beside him in our bed; beside him as he ran his business; beside him when forces that cannot be stopped threaten us, as they would; beside him when someone falls we care about, as I knew painfully well can happen. I wanted to be with him until my last breath. I thought about all of this as I listened to the song building with its promise, to give life and heart for all of life.

"...Nothing can shatter.... the promise I made to you

Our love will make you whole

I will be faithful, dying to be with you

I will not let you go..."

I felt his strong arm come around me and I put my face to his chest. His hands pulled the blanket around me better, and gently rubbed my arm. Our bond was flowing back and forth with much emotion. I thought of that beautiful dress, and saw myself in it walking towards him. We were somewhere far from Louisiana. As my mind wandered through this scene, I felt sure of myself and what I was seeing. Pam said to tell him what I was feeling, and this was the most perfect time and place. This was right, and I felt it.

"But I will give my life to win your heart

And I will tear apart my soul

I'll give away all I know to bring you home

For all that is true, for all of the way

With all of my life

You are my love, you are my church, you are my bride."

I waited as the song ended, as I was enjoying the moment. The stars winked at me and twinkled. I could not ask for more than this. I would never need more. The last strum faded, and the night grew quiet again. The wind softly whistled as it changed speed, lightly brushing my cheek with its cool caress. My strength suddenly doubled in intensity, and I felt like I was given a shot of courage as my lips moved against his chest. The past few months worth of betrayal, loss, pain, were gone the moments the words left my lips.

"I found a beautiful white dress yesterday that I would like to wear." I said it quietly but decisively. He didn't jump up, twitch, shudder, gasp, nothing. He was dead calm, I could feel it. I could also feel that he was....happy.

"I know, lover."

I know I heard him right, but I didn't hear him right. He knows? What...my heart started speeding up and my mind started trying to think, and then....calm. He sent me peace and calm, and his arm held me to him closer. I felt his lips in my hair and his cool breath on my face as he leaned down.

"I know."

I couldn't speak. I wanted to say "how, why, when" and a million other things, but my heart was calm. My mind was on its own, here. My heart refused to join in, and I still felt calm and peaceful. I took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

His beautiful voice whispered again, "I know", and my eyes started stinging. I sat up on my elbow, as he kept his hand on my back, reassuringly. He was not smiling or leering, but looking at me like he was home. That did it. I felt tears fall freely from my cheek onto his shirt, and didn't care. I couldn't stop them if I wanted to. His lips turned into a half smile as he took his thumb to my wet cheek. With one swipe he wiped my cheek, and put his thumb in his mouth to savor the taste. He withdrew his thumb, looked at his thumb and then me.

We gazed at each other for what seemed like an eternity, not saying anything. I wasn't sure what we were doing right now, or what would be said. He spoke first.

"Do you trust me?"

I couldn't believe the question. Surely he knew I did. Then I remembered the first night at home together, when I could feel him speaking to me in a way I hadn't before, and without words I found the answers. I would listen to what he was and wasn't saying.

"Yes." He was looking at me with love, and I felt understanding come.

"I have waited for you all of the days of my life. Do you know how long that is?" His tone was urgent now.

"Yes" I said again, letting him speak, answering without questions.

" Do you trust that I am sincere when I tell you that I need a few short days? Do you understand what I would be saying? I am not saying I need a few days, but that you must trust me when I say that tonight is special for its own reasons, but that tonight is not that night?"

As he was speaking those words at first, it had sounded as though he needed some time to think about it, but as he finished I understood what he was saying. Things were in motion already. I understood.

"I understand, yes."

"I could not bear you to be hurting, and believe me when I tell you this: I know. Do you remember what I said that night? I know, I know your heart's desires. I have listened, and I am beyond grateful and pleased you would feel this way."

I let his words be absorbed as he sat up and slid off the side of the car to stand. I slid across to where he was standing and let my legs hang over the side, pulling him into me. I put my face against his chest and felt his need. He wanted me, but was waiting for me. For me. He was doing this for me, and I would not make it harder on him than it was by saying anything more about it. I would trust him and understand what he was telling me. I knew it would be worth it to wait for him to make it right for me.

I ran my hand across the bulge in his pants, grasping at him. He put his fingers through my hair, and ran them through my locks as if to comb them. I released the button and lowered his zipper. It had been chilly when we'd gotten here, but I didn't feel it now. I started to release him from his jeans, when I felt his cool hand on my wrist. Pulling me forward, I slid off the side of the smooth hood and my feet touched the grass. He led me to the front of the car and turned me so my back was to the hood and I was facing him.

"I want you to see stars tonight as I love you." Oh God. I felt myself getting lightheaded with all the emotion we had been feeling and the now rising desire building in me.

He put his arms around me and leaned me back. I let him support me and trusted I would not fall ungracefully on my back. I did not. He lowered me until my back touched the metal hood, now cool through my shirt. He straightened and moved my legs to the side to stand between them. He ran his hands along my breasts, smiling as he felt my nipples harden. My body let him know it wanted him. I wanted him. All of him - the good, the bad, the rough and the good. We would get it all, I was sure of it.

His hands lifted my shirt, and he reached underneath me to unhook my bra. Unnecessary, as he could have just ripped it. But his touch was gentle and slow, and I knew this would be something. Something to fit the emotions we had felt, the understanding we had realized. This would be deep. The clasps released easily, and his hands lifted my bra up. I started to pull my shirt off, but he stopped me.

"It's cold tonight, lover. Keep it on this once. I will work around it." His palms brushed my nipples as he grasped my breasts with his large, strong hands. I felt my insides ache with need. He lowered his hands down my bare stomach. I felt my button release, and heard the zipper give way. His hands under my hips tugged at my pants, and I lifted myself to facilitate the process. I wanted this, and could only hope I would have him inside me soon. I needed no warm up. I just wanted to feel him, filling me. He pulled my pants off my legs and laid them on the hood beside me. He did the same with my panties, and then did the same for himself. Laying his jeans on top of mine, he walked back to me, standing between my legs, against my very core. He pulled me towards him so that I thought I might slide off the car. I grabbed the side of the car, as a reaction, then relaxed my hands on the hood. He would not let me go.

We looked at each other as he entered me. I was grateful he agreed. I wanted no teasing or buildup. I wanted him now. He slid himself inside me until he could go no further. He made a satisfied sound of relief, and I made my own, with a tad bit of wince. He remained still for a moment, caressing the bare skin of my hips.

"Tonight, I don't want you to watch me unless you want to. I want you to look up and focus on what you see. Don't think about anything else." I looked at his eyes, emblazening them in my mind before pulling my gaze to the stars, just as he wanted.

It felt like I was completely out of control to not be looking at him, and at the magnitude of the vast black sky I was under and looking at. I felt like I was in the air, a part of the sky myself. It was the most surreal thing I've ever felt. He moved in and out of me in a steady, slow pace. I could hear nothing, and felt deaf. The overwhelming sensations of the pleasure he was giving to me coupled with the the overwhelming size of the great sky made me feel buzzed and beside myself.

I felt him grasp my leg and throw it over his shoulder. His next thrust left me breathless, and I could feel myself starting that familiar wave. My eyes found a star, brighter than those around it, and I focused on it as my body took in all of him. I could feel him inside me, stretching me to mold to him, expertly thrusting and pulling and thrusting into me some more. I could feel him enlarging at his own pleasures he was feeling through me. He lowered my leg from his shoulder and opened my legs wider. He leaned over me and put his hands on the hood, on either side of me. He thrust harder and faster now, making my release imminent. I threw my arms open and grasped at the unyielding hood for something, anything to grip when what I knew was coming, came. I felt my insides gripping him firmer as I got closer to coming, and heard him growl in response.

My body could take no more intensity, and I felt the explosions begin inside me. I don't know what I said or didn't say. My eyes held onto that star for all I was worth, clinging to it for dear life as the train I was on charged over the edge. I felt a moment's panic as I came, feeling disoriented as I felt like I was falling. I cried out for him, and must have said I was falling - I felt his hands on my stomach, holding me to the hood to assure me. It was the craziest most intense out of body experience I'd ever had, and I was still falling. He was moving slowly in and out of me, and I realized as I regained my composure that I hadn't heard or felt his release. I asked him through my breaths, and he laughed, shocked that I hadn't heard or felt him as he indeed had his release. I had not heard or felt anything but my own intense pleasure. I had been deaf to the world, and to say I was out of body just wouldn't cut it.

I felt him leave me, and felt his cool hands on mine, pulling me to sit. I didn't make it. I couldn't see anything, and I felt light headed again. His strong arms had me at the edge of the hood, and I felt my head bent down over the car.
"Put your head down for a bit, lover. You were breathing too hard, too fast. I don't want you to pass out on me." He laughed, but looked a bit serious. "Now take slow, deep breaths, and cup your hands around your mouth. Breath into that." He held me like this until my vision started coming back, and I felt the funny brick on my head start fading. Slowly, I felt like I was alright again.

"How the hell do you know what to do with someone who's passing out?" I had to ask.

"Pam used to scare the shit out of some deserving fangbangers, and I had to keep calling for medics. We were getting quite the reputation. Pam and I took a couple of classes so we could deal with it ourselves." He shrugged, as if it were no big thing.

"Well, I'm glad you did. I almost passed out."

"You had quite the intense experience, lover. I loved watching you." He helped me lay back, and I felt him helping me dress. I cooperated, and helped him get dressed himself. When we were dressed, he looked at the hood of his car. "See? No dents. She's solid."

I looked, but didn't see anything. I would have felt kinda bad about that, but not too bad. That was something I'd never forget. We both looked at each other, and my thoughts were back to what we had been discussing before this.

"Give me just a bit more time, lover. It will be hard for both of us to postpone this talk, but I want to do this right for you. For us." He took my hand and led me to my door, and helped me in. My legs were pretty shaky, but my head felt clear again. He shut my door and picked up the blanket from the ground. I heard him messing around in the trunk, and felt it shut with a thud. He slid in and shut the door. He looked at me, smiled, and reached across me to pull the seat belt down and over me, clicking it secure. I was definitely out of it.

"Ready? Or would you like to stay a minute or two longer? We have to be home soon, but we have a minute more to admire the view if you'd like."

"I'm ready. I'm pretty sleepy now, actually." I put my hands between my thighs, aware that I was feeling very satisfied right now.

He started the car and backed up before turning around. I laid my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes, processing the incredible night we'd just had. The things I saw, the things we said, the things we did. It was truly mindblowing. I think to myself how glad I am that I won't go to my grave not having real mindblowing sex. God, I felt sorry for the average person who never gets to feel what I get to feel between my legs. He is amazing. Not to mention the rest of him, which is even better. I look over at him and smile. He is concentrating in front of us again as he navigates through the trees.

"Eric, can I ask you how you knew about this place?" I lifted my head to look at him.

"I have brought no one else out here, as I have never brought anyone to my home." He looked at me seriously and then looked back to the path he was carving through the trees. "I came here many nights to think as I struggled with things." One didn't have to be a genius to know what was on his mind so heavy that he had to come all the way up here to get away from it all and think. "I thought of you up here many times. It was torture for me." He didn't say anymore, and I didn't ask. I felt a bit of sadness, but he quickly felt better. That made me feel a little better then.

I laid my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes again, relaxing. I heard the cd player whirring as it released a cd. I heard him put another one in. I heard a familiar song start playing, and it was just perfect. My Viking bad ass was a musically inclined dj. He made our time together into a soundtrack. I might have to have him make me a cd of things to remind me of him for my car.

"If I lay here......if I just lay here......would you lie with me and just forget the world...."

I listened to the song, and felt myself drifting off to sleep. My last thought was that I loved him.

"I don't quite know...how to say....how I feel

Those three words, are said too much....they're not enough...."