Two Become One

A/N: Sorry about the delay in the update, computer woes are begining to strike. Though they are stalled, they are not resolved for now. So I will let you enjoy this chapter. Though... some may not

Goku took to the sky to fly home late the following evening. He had a smile plastered all over his face, the saiyan doing several barrel rolls as he flew higher and higher, just feeling content, alive. He and Chi-Chi had coupled several more times since last night, and the time spent together with just the two of them alone had been more than he could ever imagine it to be, but as the day wore on things couldn't remain that way. Goku had to go home and check on Gine, his mother, plus Bhiruo had dropped off Gohan with Chi-Chi so that the two could have some quality mom and son time. He didn't mind though, Goku was just happy that Chi-Chi was happy.

Recognizing the mountain terrain below, the saiyan began his descent, scoping out the landscape bathed in the setting sunlight until he spotted his house. The wind howling in his ears, he dropped down from the sky, the low sun just beginning to dip over the mountains with its light breaking through the trees as he touched down. A few birds took flight from the long grass near to where Goku landed, scared off by the saiyan's landing and he watched them go...until he realized he wasn't alone.

Goku noticed someone, someone who was quite strange. She was sitting in a chair outside his home, her appearance somewhat striking by comparison to all the other people he had met. Wearing a long white dress with a red top, her long, braided white hair was held together by a clasp of jewelry; similar pieces of jewelry were hung around her arms, making her resemble royalty. Her skin was pale blue and her eyes white as they looked up towards him, a smile painted upon her lips as he began to walk over.

Not a human like Chi-Chi and the others. Was she lost?

The strange looking woman spoke once he was within a few feet of her. "Goku, it's been a long time since we've met. Though I know you do not remember me." She laughed slightly, slowly getting up from her seat as he drew nearer.

The saiyan wasn't apprehensive, only curious as she smiled at him. As the woman fixed her hair around her unusual, curled horns, Goku noticed she looked slightly tired as she stepped forward, stopping just arm's length away from him.

"No sorry, I can't remember a lot of things lately," Goku said with a nervous chuckle, before scanning behind the woman briefly for signs of his mother. He didn't see her, nor could he smell her nearby. The woman though, something about her smelt familiar. "So I know you from somewhere? What's your name?"

On asking this, the strange woman exhaled, and she shook her head lightly. "I'm afraid there will be no reason for me to tell you, my dear Goku."

"Hm? Why's that?" He asked puzzled.

"Because…I'm giving everything back."

"Huh? Whaddya mean? You took something?"

Goku blinked as the woman looked into his eyes passively, the white disappearing as gold flames rose up from within them. The saiyan immediately found himself transfixed as her eyes seemed to grow larger, like two pools of gold drawing him into their depths.

"Tell Chi-Chi I'm sorry, but you have to be more than Goku," the woman said softly, her voice echoing through his mind as she took a step closer to him. He found the world dimming, becoming quiet around them as her hand reached up and touched his shoulder. "Kakarot…it's time to remember."

"Wha...what are you-" Goku's voice locked up as his entire body became frozen stiff.

It came all at once, cracking open his skull and invading his mind, as if standing at the base of a waterfall with a rush that would sweep buildings from their very foundations. Goku screamed, his voice ripping into the night air with such force all the animals in the surrounding radius went silent. His eyes went white as images flooded and bombarded him, over and over. His ki flaring in an aura around him, the ground beneath his feet splitting open, cracks rippling outwards as his power went beyond his control at that moment.

The man he used to be, all of the things he had done, everything he had ever known, all of it slammed back into place within his mind within an instant, the pieces finally joined together again.

When it all ended, the saiyan stood on wobbly feet, staggering slightly before he collapsed. He hit the ground front first, heaving in great gasps of air as a murky cloud covered his eyes, the weight of so many memories cramming into his skull, crushing him from the inside.

"Wha-What have I done!?" He shouted, the white of his eyes turning red as he pushed himself up onto his knees. Shaking involuntarily, he stared down at the cracked and upturned dirt, the very ground that he had obliterated with his energy alone.

"Le, Leocht…" His fingers dug into the dirt, as he blinked rapidly. "LEOCHT!" His head snapped upwards, looking around for the damn bitch, but she was long gone.

"Damnit! Why did you do this too me?" He gripped the side of his head, rocking back and forth on the spot as the world came back in all its clarity. It was overwhelming to the saiyan, remembering his previous life, everything of his parents and brother. At the same time, it weighed down heavy on him: the wicked things that he had done, all the things that had happened to him; exiled, beaten to death and sent here, of all places with his son, the planet where he had killed so many, where he had, he had…

"Not bad. I like a woman with some fight in her."

"Let her go! You monster let go of her!"

"I will kill you, Kakarot."

His thoughts were crashing together, as his heart raced. The saiyan gritted his teeth, pressing his fingers to his face while he tried to place just what he should be feeling. A part him was angry, and the other was horrified. It was not that he was Kakarot, it was not that he was also Goku, but then who was he anymore!? He was a saiyan! He was...n-no, he couldn't, he couldn't...his very heart was being wrenched open, ripping him to pieces! Tearing him apart with these feelings of…l-like...

"Guilt? Are you able to see what you've done?" The voice popped into his head, there was only one person with that voice.

"That is the pain of hurting the ones you love the most, Gok…" Leocht trailed off, and she cleared her throat before correcting herself. "No, my mistake...Kakarot. Do you admit that what you did to her was wrong? You see how your world treated her, how you treated her. Is it so easy to see just how twisted you were, and how taking everything you could from her would make her never be yours. But with kindness, and a gentle, carefree heart, you've healed much of that pain you inflicted, and have learned to experience her way of life, been enveloped in her happiness. Your feelings for her were born anew, and not from the womb of your dark desires, but from one of love."

Kakarot punched the ground hard as he shook his head, trying to will the seer's voice out from his mind. "I only did-"

"What you knew? I know Kakarot, I do know. But even you see how traumatic it was raping the woman you loved, beating her, breaking her. It was what you knew. Saiyans live by dominance; they live by forcing females into positions of acceptance. Had Chi-Chi been a female saiyan, she would've understood your primitive courtship, known that you desired her as not just a piece of meat, but everything about her. It is the same mistake you and Vegeta have made, but the prince still does not want to admit what he feels, even with my meddling, his heart still remains as stone...although it does have blue, hairline cracks in it."

Leocht's voice petered out into laughter, and the saiyan slammed both of his fists into the ground, if only to alleviate the torrent of emotions that coursed through him. It was suffocating him, driving him insane unable to stop the tornado tearing apart his very mind. His eyes darted around him, but he saw no sign of the seer. Where had she gone? Where was that bitch hiding!?

"So Kakarot, what will you do? Or do you wish to be called Goku now?" She asked in a mocking tone, as he struggled to truly grasp everything. "You can no longer pretend to not know what you have done to her, who you were-"

"Just stop, STOP!" He shouted, his hands gripping the sides of his head, bashing his forehead against the ground in a futile attempt to get the seer's to leave him the hell alone.

"Does it hurt, knowing what a cold-blooded killer you were? Just how many times you've raped and beaten the mother of your child? I can't imagine she'd ever want you back as Kakarot." The voice sighed before riling up into a laugh. "I imagine you'll never see her again, because she loves Goku. She'd never love you; she'd be insane to-"

"I am Goku!" the saiyan growled, his eyes cracking open as he struggled to hold himself together. "Do you hear me!? I'm Goku! I AM GOKU!"

"No, Goku is nothing but a name, given to you by the old man you would have murdered had your memories not been lost. You are Kakarot, mind body and soul; you are the very monster that killed and tortured others without a shred of remorse. You ARE that demon from your dreams that Chi-Chi tried to kill more than once for taking everything from her!"

"NO! I-I love her, she loves-"

"Are your really going to preach love? To me of all people Kakarot?" Leocht shot back offended by his declaration. "Love is something saiyans don't feel; you've said so many times when killing other beings, that love is nothing but an emotion for the weak!"

"I didn't know, I just-"

"You just what?" She snapped at him, as if scolding him like a mere child. "You claim ignorance? That is quite pathetic of you Kakarot. The truth is you saiyans are all aware what love is and experience it. You felt it with your mother, she felt it with you; you have strong connections with all of your family, but you just didn't believe it would be an emotion that you needed, so you called it something else."

The saiyan screamed, jumping up to his feet as he began taking his anger out on the forest, his fists and feet hitting anything and everything in order to vent all of the turmoil inside of him. "You bitch! If it's one world its another! You've taken Chi-Chi away once before. I thought you murdered my unborn son and now you are trying to take them from me again? Why in the hell are you doing this to me!?"He shouted, ripping a tree up from its very roots and slamming it down, panting heavily for air as the dust and wind settled down.

"Kakarot tell me, how would you begin to understand what I'm doing? You still can barely grasp who I am without jumping to your own imaginative conclusions."

How he wished to have her in front of him, to give her just a taste of his rage. No one understood Leocht; Broly probably couldn't either. "Aside from some crazy fucking seer, who knows? I doubt there's a single person in this universe who understands you because all you do is destroy people! You did it to Chi-Chi and you've done it to me for no reason!"

The seer's voice sighed, almost frustrated with how things were going right now. "Look at everything right now Kakarot, what exactly do you have because of what I have done?"

Everything stopped, his mind flickering. "You've taken-"

"I have given you so much Kakarot. I gave you a life on a world free from responsibilities, free to live happy, peaceful, and relaxed. You found love with a woman, raised a son who has survived and gives both of his parents a joy that only parents can feel. So again…please tell me what have I taken from you?"

She was mocking him, that he knew. Pointing out all the damn self-righteous behavior! That Leocht! She always had to get the last word in edgewise. "It could've worked out, she and I could've been happy without any of this!"

A burst of gut wrenching laughter came, filling his mind. "Happy? The little slave girl, spreading her legs for the man who took everything from her? Uses his own child as a tool to imprison her, chain and shackle her body to you?" Leocht stopped laughing. "Oh Kakarot, that was so funny. You humor me."

"Shut up! I desired her, I needed her more than anyone else…" The saiyan's fingers clenched tightly together. "She loved me when I was gentle and kind to her. I can be that way for her now!"

"Tsk, Tsk," He could almost visualize the seer shaking her head at him, a cruel smirk plastered on her lips. "How long will you keep that lie up? Pretending to be something that you clearly are not."

"What the hell do you care? Why did you even return my memories!?" He shouted to the sky, his words bouncing all around the air as he panted and heaved.

"Did you not want to remember? Did you not promise Chi-Chi to love her and not become that monster again?"

He pulled back slightly, his black orbs blinking for a moment. "I…I..."

"Did you lie to her?"

"Shut up, you twisted bitch!"

"Is that a yes?"

He roared, smashing another tree with his fist, the wood splintering beneath the blow as it smashed into another, rocking another cluster of brush in the forest. "I never lied to her! I'm not the same man that I was before."

"Then who are you?"

"I'm Ka-" the saiyan stopped, the realization hitting him like a solid punch to the gut. It was the truth...he was Kakarot, the first-class saiyan warrior who slaughtered countless lives with his bare hands without any mercy, or an ounce of regret. He was the man who hurt Chi-Chi, the Earthling who captivated him from the moment he saw her. He was the sick bastard who hurt her, in the dreams that were his memories, they were all of the things he did to her…

Dropping to his knees, Kakarot hung his head as his anger dwindled, giving way to something else much stronger, a great agony that tightened his chest. He was ashamed of himself, felt disgusted for the malice that once lived inside of him, and that...that...

"Who are you?" This time the voice didn't come from his head, it came from before him. He spotted her, Leocht, as her figure emerged from hiding behind one of the trees where she had escaped his violent outburst.

"I'm…" His heart was pounding as he felt his eyes burning, the tips of his fingers prickling as he looked into the white eyes of the seer. "I'm the monster who hurt her...I hurt the woman who I love, the mother of my child. I'm the one who did it all!"

Leocht slowly walked closer, watching as the saiyan's eyes brimmed with unshed tears. They were filled with guilt, pain and sorrow. "Do you still love her?" She stopped in front of him, kneeling down to gently hook one her fingers under his chin. Leocht offered him a soft smile, nodding her head. "You can tell me Kakarot. Tell me truly, do you love her so?"

Love…he…did he…

He saw her in his mind, Chi-Chi, her fierce determination when she fought him and others with an unbreakable will to never give in. Her headstrong fiery spirit harboring a kindness within, shared with that of her friends, in the love she gave their son and to him, everything he never received before…

"Goku, please don't stop being you."

"Who else I would I be?"

"I don't know…you just wouldn't be you. I like you like this. I don't want you to be anything else."

The memories burned him, made him feel sick for all he had done as the tears ran freely.

"I do...I love Chi-Chi. I want to be by her side for the rest of my life. I want her to be happy like when she saw me as Goku…" the saiyan grabbed Leacht's wrist, pulling her grip away from his face as he hung his head. Yet his hand remained on her trembling, refusing to let go as his voice cracked. "I, I want...I want to hear her laugh, even at the stupidest of things. I, w-want to feel her close to me when we sleep! I need her, I need her in my life! I can't, c-can't..."

"Then Kakarot, you must make amends," Leocht, causing him to look back up at her again, revealing those tears that ran like two crystal rivers down his face. "You must spend the rest of your life making it up to her...but even then, I cannot tell you if she will ever take you back."

The saiyan released the seer's wrist, unable to bear her accursed gaze any longer. How did she break him down so easily? Twisting and turning him so many ways? He was too emotionally screwed over to argue over it.

Softly, Leocht patted the top of his head, running her fingers through locks of his hair gently as she continued. "Just as I set Chi-Chi free from you, I am setting you free Kakarot. You're free to attone for every single evil sin you have committed, though you do not need me to tell you that this won't be an easy path to tread."

"Leocht…."

She did not need to read his mind to know what he intended to say to her. Smiling Leocht turned and walked away from him quietly. She made it about twenty or so feet away before halting in her tracks within those woods. "No man is more loving than one that is saddled by the guilt and shame that he feels for a woman he would do anything for. It would be so sad to see her without the man who loves her, who gives her everything that she deserves. But Chi-Chi is not the only one you must consider, but her family, her friends your previous actions have scarred also."

It came to him in flashes, those friends of Chi-Chi at the tournament, recalling their hostility. He remembered the fury in the shortest one named Krillin, who he now recognized as the one he'd mocked for a weakling; the one named Yamcha, whose neck he'd snapped after beating him black and blue. The lives he took on this planet, so many dead, screaming in fear, in agony as they were slaughtered in their thousands by him, and he'd enjoyed nearly every single minute of it.

The saiyan felt bile rise up in his throat, and he swallowed, desperate to keep it down as he clenched his eyes shut wanting to will his existence away, to not feel anything.

"You have a long time to make things up to them Kakarot, and you must face everything that you've done. Perhaps you will lose her or she will forgive the monster who you truly are. Who's to say?" Leocht laughed knowingly, turning her head to look back at him, "I've got a dinner to get to...so please, take care."

She was gone. Kakarot didn't have to look up to know the seer was no longer with him. Leocht disappeared like the mystery she was. The forest fell still and silent as the saiyan remained on his hands and knees, unable to move his limbs, let alone stand, as he stared at the ground beneath him. His body felt like it had become lead. He was hurting and in pain, but not physically: it was all in his mind. He was a complete mess, those twin lives clashing, trying and failing to put things in order as everything overlapped and got mixed up. Confused, he was so fucking confused!

Was he Kakarot, or still Goku? His head shook from side to side.

"Dammit! Dammit!" He cursed, screaming up at the sky. "GOD DAMN YOU!"

A part of him wanted to be happy that he knew who he was now, that he had survived everything on Vegeta-sei. For certain he would've been dead, tortured to death by Vegeta or executed out of spite. But he was alive, and more powerful than before…yet none of that mattered. His entire being screamed out in sorrow, distraught at everything he had done. Remembering brief flashes from a dream or glimpse of the past was nothing compared to all of the pain he was experiencing now. That previous life was no longer a distant bad dream, it was joined with him again. He had never liked what he saw, liked what he, h-he...

"I liked it, all of it…Leocht was right, I'm a monster," Kakarot confessed openly to himself, feeling as if he was going to throw up again.

He couldn't deny any of it. He'd loved making Chi-Chi his woman, his mate. Claiming her body, marking his territory, it wasn't to demean her or humiliate her, for no saiyan would ever give anything other than a mate that kind of attention. The yelling, the fighting, the fucking, all of it was what he knew best, and those months he'd spent with her, it had been truly amazing.

"So why does it hurt so much!?" He cried as he slumped down to the ground, pressing his forehead against the dirt and grass. He felt far worse than the shame of being responsible for the death of his female in his first courtship, felt unworthy to even call her his. That was embarrassment, and sickening guilt that left his heart being ripped out from his chest.

The pain one can cause to themselves can go on without punishment, but the pain that one inflicts upon others, upon loved ones, is the type that never leaves and only grows, festering like a disease. Kakarot knew he loved Chi-Chi, he was not able to deny it...he just hadn't fully understood what that feeling was. It only came upon losing his identity and being nursed back to full health by a human, that he learned what it truly meant. Gohan...that old man gave him a new lease of life.

The woman whom he had once desired as a slave purely for his lust, he had later desired to have her forever, to turn her into a strong female mate and mold her to be as close to a saiyan female as possible. But that was no longer the dream, it wasn't ever needed. Chi-Chi was a strong fighter, a proud mother, and his lover. This Chi-Chi was perfect, she was everything he had desired without even knowing it. And their son, he loved him more than anything, but then...she'd...

"Why? Why would you destroy your son's pod?"

"Because, b-because, he won't be raised by you…"

Unleashing another roar into the forest, Kakarot struggled to calm himself down. The fact that he remembered everything was not the problem for him anymore, and it wasn't Leocht who couldn't be further from his mind even if the bitch cut off his tail.

The image of his…family, of his lover Chi-Chi, and their son. The half-saiyan that did nothing but bring the two of them together, help create those bonds that now threatened to break. How could he return to them, how would he even tell them, tell Chi-Chi? Could he really pretend, act like he was just good old, clueless Goku? No, not in front of her, she'd see right through him. She was too smart for that, and he couldn't lie to her.

"Chi…I-I'm sorry! Forgive me!" He cried, his eyes clenching tightly shut as he sobbed, tearing more grass free with his fingers as he violently shook his head, feeling the cold evening nipping at his skin. "I was blind; I didn't know how much I was hurting you. You kept telling me and I didn't listen! I should've...it was all me!" He shouted his eyes burning with so many tears, delivering a punch down into the ground that shook the forest. "I RUINED EVERYTHING!"

His voice echoed through the trees until finally he dropped his head surrendering to the silence. His onyx eyes caught the glow of the moon as he tilted his body back, peering up at the darkening sky through the branches above him. For the first time in his life, he felt lost, hopeless.

The snapping of a twig broke the saiyan out from his trance, causing him to looked ahead. It wasn't Leocht, and it wasn't his mother. Stood cautious from beside a tree shed crept out from, was Chi-Chi herself, still wearing her training clothes from that day. She remained silent, frozen still with her hands covering over her mouth, those beautiful brown eyes wide, staring dead at him.

Kakarot stumbled backwards onto his feet, his lower lip trembling, struggling to speak as he felt himself go cold to the bone.

"Ch...Chi-Chi!?"

Why was she here? When did she get here!? How much did she...

By the sound of her name, Chi-Chi immediately took a step back from him, her arms going out in front of her as if ready to fight. Her eyes remained fixed on him, the fear within growing more vivid.

"You….you remember?" She asked, her body trembling. She wasn't asking if he remembered a few things, no, the look on her face told Kakarot everything.

He swallowed, as he hung his head. He couldn't lie.

"I do… all of it." Kakarot admitted, breaking under her piercing, fearful gaze. It wasn't the one he remembered from the night before, Chi looked at him like when he had dominated her the first time they met. He had become it, the monster in her eyes again.

Hearing movement, the saiyan looked back up towards her, but she was gone. His gazed flicked upwards, spotting Chi-Chi's retreating figure, soaring like a bird away from him. He dropped to his knees as he watched her flee from him, knowing to go after her right now would be in vain.

Kakarot's words were unable to form on his tongue as he let loose a gut wrenching cry of pain and anguish into the night, before, like a damn, everything came crashing down on him all over again. The saiyan struggled to breathe as he slumped over, holding his head within his hands as he rocked forwards, wanting nothing but to put an end to his existence and crush his own skull; all things considered, it would be a mercy to him.

He'd lost her again, once on Vegeta-sei and now on Earth again. Maybe, he never really had her to begin with, and she was never his to have...

A/N: Yep...

R&R

MB (Drill drained and exhausted writer)