Please don't be mad at me, please blame school instead. Thank you.
"Oh, I've got my hands up, so take your aim, yes, I'm ready/ There ain't nothing that we can't go through/ Oh, it hit me like a hurricane when you left me/ But I'd do it all again for you/ I'll walk a thousand miles on broken glass/ It won't stop me from making my way back to you/ It's not real until you feel the pain/ And nothing ever hurt like you, nothing ever hurt like you…" – James Morrison, "Nothing Ever Hurt Like You"
Sirius grunted, letting out a low groan as Dora giggled and patted his back. He could hear others moving around in the kitchen and dining room, and Kitten was laughing somewhere close-by, so he assumed that the Tonks were up and making breakfast. Dora, displeased by his lack of a response, prodded the back of his head and made him hum. "Sirius," she insisted before pausing and leaning forward to tilt over his head and look into his eyes, "Are you dead?"
Sirius began to smile, opening his eyes and looking at the little girl tiredly, smiling at the vibrant hair color, "No, I'm not dead."
"Good!" she said excitedly, hopping off to sit on the couch next to him as he sat up and slowly stretched, hoping he wouldn't tear something, "Mummy and Daddy are talking to your girlfriend."
"She's not my girlfriend," he insisted, twisting his back slowly and grimacing at the small sparks of pain.
"She's super smart," she continued, scrunching up her nose to force her locks of hair to change to brown and curl wildly. She beamed at the result, and began to bounce them with the palms of her hands. "You have a smart girlfriend."
"Not my girlfriend, Dora," he grinned, settling his chin in his hand and watching as the little girl played with the hair that resembled Kitten's. He looked to the ceiling, thinking that her hair would probably have been far worse as a child, all tangled and wild and hard to manage, before he heard a snort by the doorway to the kitchen.
"I nearly had a heart attack, thinking my younger self was sitting there," Hermione grinned brightly at Dora, who beamed back and sat up happily. "My front teeth were bigger though, and my face was rounder."
Dora, in response, scrunched up her nose and crossed her eyes, making the suitable changes and causing Hermione to grin back at her and click her tongue with a nod. The older brunette strode over to the two, sitting in between them and leaning back against the couch to prod the muscles in Sirius's back, smoothing her thumb over the tenser areas and humming as she felt for any scar tissue. Sirius, not upset over the attention, leaned into her touch and closed his eyes with a hum.
"You should be fine, but let me know if it acts up or anything," she said before turning to the younger girl and smiling brightly, "Your mum wants to know if you're ready for breakfast?"
"Breakfast!" she cheered, hopping off the couch before grabbing Hermione's hand and tugging her into standing up, "Will you sit by me, Helena?"
She laughed, nodding and being dragged into the kitchen by the squealing girl. Sirius smiled at the sight, taking a moment or two to drag himself into standing, shuffling into the dining room and smiling sleepily to his cousin and her family.
"Alright, we've got bangers, mash, pancakes, toast, bacon – oy, Ted, don't let Dora near the jam again," Andy said, eyeing her daughter as she stared across the table at the jam jar with a serious expression. Ted, in turn, slid the jam away from the younger girl, frowning at her slightly as she only grinned back at him. Hermione, seated next to the girl, donned a concerned expression but stayed silent.
"Last time I was over, she had the jam jar explode," Sirius explained as he moved to sit opposite Kitten, smiling sleepily as her concerned frown deepened.
"That took ages to clean up, no thanks to you," Andy said as she moved to sit between her husband and cousin, right across from her daughter, passing the little girl the bacon she'd been reaching for.
"I may have made it worse," he grinned, folding his arms and settling his chin on them as she smiled back.
"Oh, I doubt it, you never cause trouble," she chuckled, helping Dora by holding the plate of pancakes and allowing her to pick her own, watching and making sure that she folded it with ease before fixing her own plate. Andy, doing much of the same with Ted, caught on to what Hermione was doing and smiled before nudging Sirius's leg with her foot, glancing back at the two when he looked at her questioningly.
Sirius watched on, smiling as Dora measured the amount of powdered sugar to go on her pancake with a serious expression and her tongue sticking out, noticing that Kitten's index finger was up and slightly hidden by the edge of the table. The finger finally went down when Dora replaced the spoon, not noticing that the amount on her plate should've been far more than what was there. Andy, sharing a smile with her husband, silently took to making her own plate as Sirius took to watching the two instead.
"Can I please have the jam if I promise not to make it explode?" Dora asked politely, Andy nodding and passing the jar to her with a smile. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, love," she said, although she returned her watchful gaze as Ted leaned a little closer to his wife and watched on warily. Even Sirius flinched as Dora reached for the jar lid and grunted when it was stuck.
"Here," Hermione offered with a smile, taking her knife and tapping the edges, twisting it off and handing it to her with a smile.
"Wow!" she exclaimed, looking at Hermione with a gaping mouth, "Was that magic? Did the knife act as your wand? How can you do that?"
"No magic," she chuckled, "Just pressure."
"So you didn't use magic?" Dora repeated as Andy blinked at the brunette in surprise.
"No – that's how Muggles do it," she shrugged, reaching for the honey jar and doing the knife trick once more as she watched on intently.
"Are you Muggleborn?" Dora asked rather quietly, Ted smiling as Andy looked at him questioningly.
"Yes, ma'am, I am," she chuckled, replacing her knife.
"Just like Daddy!" she gasped, turning to look at her father as he laughed and nodded. "Wicked! Do you know any Muggle magic tricks? We went and saw a magic-son, and he was quite good at Muggle magic, but didn't know any magic-magic."
"Oh, no, I'm rubbish, but my dad was excellent at them," Hermione said, Sirius looking up at her in surprise from his own food. "D'you know Muggle stop lights?"
"Yeah," Dora said, nodding and looking at her intently as her hair color began to lazily turn to a lavender color.
"He had me convinced, from my toddler years until I was about seven, that he could control when they would turn red or green," she smiled. "I never did figure out until then that he really couldn't."
"Shh!" Ted whispered harshly, glaring at Hermione as Dora gaped at her before whirling around to gape at her father, Andy stifling her laughs with her napkin. "I had her fooled!"
"I wondered why you wouldn't change them when we were stuck in traffic! You said it wouldn't be fair to the other drivers!" Dora crowed, Andy cackling and leaning into her cousin as he laughed, the little girl frowning at her father who was frowning as well at Hermione, who tried her hardest to look abashed but was failing miserably. Sirius chuckled, grinning at the scene as Hermione finally hid her face in her arm and began to laugh, peeking out over the top and looking up at him with a smile in her eyes as her shoulders shook.
Moving down the darkened hallway, Hermia grimaced as she wobbled before gripping on to a support column, lifting her foot and seeing that her heel was starting to break. Moving away from the column and pressing herself against the hallway so other Death Eaters could pass, she took out her wand and pointed it to the shoe before another's wand pointed at it and murmured "reparo" before she could.
"Oh, thank you, Lucius," she smiled, testing the heel before placing her weight on it. Her smile faltered when she saw the blonde aristocrat's worried look, and tilted her head at him, "Is something wrong? Is Narcissa alright?"
"Narcissa is fine, thank you," he managed a small, tired smile, "We've actually discovered we're having a boy, she's quite eager to begin with the nursery."
"Congratulations," her smile returned, patting him on the arm before blinking and retracting her arm, "I'm surprised she's far enough along that they could tell the gender, she barely looks pregnant."
Lucius nodded before turning his focus back on to her, glancing at his collar and waiting as others passed. Under different circumstances, Hermione would probably be far more concerned as to what could possibly be troubling him, but she had a fairly good idea. The Aurors had just taken out a good majority of the Death Eaters they had and locked them away – possibly with some inside help – and she doubted this would've put him at ease. However, most other Death Eaters looked simply mad that the Aurors had the audacity to do such a thing, and Lucius did not seem peeved enough.
"He's going to give you the task today," Lucius said, his voice quiet as he stared into the artificial baby blues.
"Oh," Hermia whispered back, blinking before leaning her head in and frowning, "Any idea what it could be?"
"Something dark, something dangerous," he insisted, pursing his lips before gripping her shoulders, possibly the first contact she'd ever had with the man aside from the recent congratulations she'd given him. "Hermia, please, promise me that you will not place yourself in danger. Come to me for help, even Sirius if you find it fitting, just please stay safe. Narcissa considers you her closest friend; she'd be heartbroken if something were to happen to you." He paused to roll his eyes and scoff, "Sirius would be even worse off." Hermia cleared her throat as others passed, and Lucius dropped his hands from her shoulders and nodded them into scurrying along.
"Lucius, I'm certain I can take care of myself," she insisted before smiling sweetly, "But thank you for worrying about me for your wife and Sirius, that's very kind."
"It's not simply for them, Hermia," he sniffed, a small smile tugging on his lips, "Believe it or not, I consider you a friend as well."
Trying to keep her snort of surprise internal – ladies certainly did not snort, she was fairly sure – she grinned back at him, "Thank you, Lucius, but from one friend to another, I can handle myself. I will heed your advice, however."
"Good," he nodded before opening the door for her, "Ladies first."
She managed a small scoff and walked inside with him, taking a seat in between him and Rodolphus Lestrange, pursing her lips when Bellatrix sneered at her over her oblivious husband's back. Lucius turned and began to speak with her politely, asking how the wedding preparations were coming along.
"It's rather terrifying, actually," she let a soft laugh slip out, tugging on a curl, "Walburga is incredibly eager."
"So is Narcissa – I believe she'd be heartbroken if you didn't have her as a bridesmaid," Lucius chuckled.
"Well, let's make sure that doesn't happen," she grinned, making Lucius blink in surprise. It was quite easy to promise others spots in a wedding party that wasn't going to happen, she realized with a smile.
"Is Sirius having cold-feet yet?" he questioned, leaning against the dark table and relaxing in his seat, smiling at her amicably.
"As far as I'm aware, no," she began, looking at him curiously.
"When Narcissa and I were engaged, I was nervous beyond belief," he admitted, shrugging it off now as if it were some long ago tale, smiling at her softly, "I believe that will happen with any marriage. But you shouldn't worry, Sirius genuinely cares for you, he may be the exception."
Hermia paused, looking at Lucius curiously before the doors reopened and everyone stood, bowing to Voldemort as he entered the room. It was a strange thing that Hermione had to grow used to, bowing to this murderer and giving him praise and battle tactics. The only thing that made it easier was knowing that soon everything would be over. She'd stop bowing and start hexing, and she'd help round up the remaining Death Eaters before going home to Harry, Luna and the Weasleys, not to mention her other friends.
But she'd have to leave the Potters, and Remus and even the Malfoys. She wondered how much more mischievous Harry would be, having been raised by his father and the Marauders. She wondered how the Malfoys would be, and how Draco would be raised once the darkness had stopped looming over his family. She hoped she'd be able to help Remus with the Wolfsbane potion before she left, as she was having difficulty remembering a few ingredients, and the potion itself would set him up for life if he chose to sell it. She'd even set up a letter to be delivered a day before Luna's mother's death, stating that Pandora Lovegood should definitely not experiment with a certain spell, as the sender of this letter was from the future and was very, very good friends with Luna, who wished for Luna to grow up with her mother in her life. She even stopped and realized that she'd get to see her own parents again, and her old bedroom and Crookshanks. For the first time since the War had ended and the search for them had failed, Hermione had properly and hopefully thought about her parents.
And then she remembered she'd have to leave Sirius, which brought an awful pain to her heart, as she had grown incredibly close to the man in the few months that she'd known him at this age. No matter how much she told herself, the older Sirius would not be the same.
By the time the meeting was wrapping up, Hermione was internally making a script to say good-bye to Sirius with. So far she'd had to blink back tears several times, all while paying attention to what was being sad. Voldemort had called for her to stay behind earlier in the meeting, and so she watched as everyone began to file out of the room, Lucius being one of the last ones to go. She took a deep breath as she stood, hands folded in front of her, waiting for Tom Riddle to start talking.
Sirius gave a long, drawn-out sigh, ignoring Remus rolling his eyes at him. Kitten had been gone for ages, and it was beginning to turn dark. Everyone had slowly begun to take off from the meeting house, even Moody had left. The only reason Remus was probably still there was to make sure Sirius didn't go off and hunt Kitten down himself. Which was honestly a very viable concern right now.
Even though it brought a good sign, Sirius gave a startled yelp as a door slammed shut, Remus chuckling at him over the potions book he'd been hunched over for the last four hours. After shooting his friend a dirty glare and sitting upright, rather than the reclining position he'd been in for as long as Remus had been reading, he was greeted by the sight of Kitten running into the room with a smile lighting her face, taking a moment to look around before her eyes settled on him and brightened.
"Sirius!" she exclaimed, moving forward and sitting next to him, gripping his arm as if he had any intention to move away from her, "I have brilliant news – Voldemort's asked me to do secret tasks for him to gain his trust."
"How is that brilliant?" he asked, his voice rising an octave higher out of worry, gripping her arm as well and looking at her worriedly.
"Because," she insisted, still with a smile as the charm slowly fell off as she took pins out of her hair as it grew lighter and lighter. The blue flowed away, and the freckles became more and more prominent as dark curls tumbled over her shoulders. "I can make duplicates and we can have the real thing, which means we're one step closer to – "
"You leaving," he interrupted, and Remus quietly watched on, attempting to blend into the chair he was seated on. The light drifted from her eyes and her smile faded, and he hated to see the sadness creep in, but he hated her departure even more.
"Well…yes," she faltered, taking her hand away from his arm and settling it on her own knee, as if creating more space between them to ease the pain of the blow, "That does mean that as well."
"I'm…uhh," he coughed, glancing at Remus for guidance, but he merely shrugged in response, choosing to keep the closed book in his lap and bring his knees to his chest to watch on. "I'm…happy for you, I guess."
"Really?" she asked in surprise, looking at him curiously.
"Yeah," he managed a meager smile, taking her hands and patting them, taking note of the difference between the smoothness of her skin and the small, thick lines that marked the scars, "You'll get to see your friends soon."
"Yes, I will," she agreed slowly, looking at him carefully before shaking her head and standing, "I need to go tell Moody before it gets even later."
"See you, Kitten," Sirius said with a small grin, and she attempted to return it before turning the corner and disappearing down the hall to the Floo.
"You fucking liar," Remus announced calmly and coolly, prompting Sirius to collapse back into the couch and cover his face with his arm. "How dare you lie to her."
"What, did you want me to tell her that I'm in love with her?" he asked irritably, wanting to pout but feeling that it wouldn't be a proper expression to show how angry and upset he was at the situation. "Because that'll make everything so much better."
"Well, no, don't tell her that, but don't tell her that you're happy to see her go!" Remus exclaimed, sitting up in his chair and glaring at him. Sirius eyed the book in his grasp, thinking back to when they were in Hogwarts and he had a penchant for throwing books at Sirius for making him mad. Usually that was when it was so close to the full moon, but some of the warning signs were already there.
"Surely she knows that I'm not," he insisted, "Surely she knows that I'll miss her."
"Sirius, given the fact that me, Lily, James, the entire Order and almost everyone involved in this bloody war knows that you're in love with her except for her, it's very clear that you don't come across that clearly to her!" he said, standing and waving the book around, and Sirius seemed properly panicked until he huffed and dragged him out of his seat, gripping the front of his shirt and glaring at him. "Padfoot, you are going to go to Godric's Hollow and make sure that she knows that you're not happy to see her off, got that? Because if you want any damn thing to happen between the two of you at any point in time, you need to do that."
"What?" Sirius squawked, gaping at his very calm and stoic face, "Moony, I'll be twenty years older than her! That's insane!"
"She said she was born this year, so you'll be nineteen years older, give or take, and you had a grandfather who remarried at one-hundred and three to a thirty-seven year old woman," he sniffed dully, "And it's hardly insane if you actually love the woman, which you no doubt do."
"I'm confused, you're confusing me," he sighed before a book was promptly smacked into his chest, making him cough and sputter.
"Just go, I'll explain later if you're still confused then," he sighed, taking the book back and disappearing through the Floo in the other room.
Sirius blinked after him, listening to the quiet for a few more moments before doing as he was told and going through the Floo, walking quietly through the Potter's living room, up the stairs, and knocking softly at Kitten's door before opening it.
"Oy!" she yelped, dropping the end of the dress and throwing a heel at him before he could see much of anything beyond her thighs.
"Sorry, sorry!" he called, shielding himself behind the door and trying to keep the blush from taking over his face.
"Wait until people answer the knock before you come in!" she huffed, opening the door and frowning up at him, one hand on her hip, "Now what is it, Sirius?"
"Uhm…I'm sorry," he faltered.
Her features softened and she scoffed, shaking her head at him, "It's fine, I've lived with a multitude of boys before, no big deal."
He blinked down at her, feeling something akin to jealousy begin to rise, before deciding that this was not the time as he looked away from her face and ran a hand through his hair. "No, I'm…I'm sorry about earlier, when I said I was happy to see you go," he admitted as she blinked at him in surprise, and he gave a soft laugh. "Truth is, I'm pissed off that you're leaving, and if I could, I'd make sure you'd stay here. But, that's not fair to you or your friends, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it."
Hermione gave a soft smile and stood up on her toes to peck his chin, "Thank you, Sirius. And here I thought you were glad to be rid of me."
"Never," he promised, looking at her softly for a moment or two before coughing, "It's late, you need to sleep."
"Goodnight, Sirius," she smiled up at him, and he had half a mind to keep standing there and try to keep more of this moment in his mind, remembering more of her face and her hair and her eyes and how her voice lilted and soothed. But it was late, and she was tired, and he was still very confused from his conversation with Moony.
So he bent down, pecked her forehead, smiled and said "Goodnight" instead, turning down the hall back to the Floo before she called out after him. He turned to move back to her and was promptly bombarded with a small body and arms wrapped around his middle.
"I'll miss you too, Sirius," she whispered once he placed his arms firmly around her, holding her to him. "Very, very much."
His heart leapt and he held his breath, but decided that it was useless to hope for anything more by now. All he really wanted was for her to be safe and as happy as she could get. No matter what it meant for him.
I have no proper excuse for my absence and the diminishing quality of this chapter, other than the fact that senior year is not as much of a cake walk as I thought it would be. But, I do promise to start wrapping things and ends up, but that it won't end soon. Actually, I wanted to do some small AU ficlets that interject between whatever chapters, because I have more than enough ideas for this story.
Please review, I've missed hearing about you guys! I hope you're doing well, and that 2015 brings you all the happiness in the world!