AN
Wow, 200 reviews! You guys have definitely earned the next Chapter on this fine Saturday!
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No Escape
Chapter 37
Ichigo felt sick. Every inch he put between himself and Rukia made him feel worse.
He eyed the bag of cookies in the front seat and cringed. He hadn't been able to eat this morning, but he still wasn't hungry. Walking away from Rukia had killed his appetite, along with other, more vital parts of him he had no name for.
Another mile marker flew by. Ichigo swallowed and gripped the steering wheel harder. He couldn't do this. He wasn't a strong enough man to do this again-to go out into the world on his own, utterly alone, with no home, no family, no future.
He loved Rukia. He needed her. How was he going to live without her?
How was he going to wake up every morning and not know how she was, what she was feeling, what she was doing? And what about Kon and Natsuki? He'd grown attached to them, too. He didn't want to disappear from their lives. He wanted to be a part of them-to color with Natsuki and make her feel safe, to help Kon ace his test, be there when he graduated from high school. College.
Kon and Natsuki both deserved a father figure, and Ichigo wanted it to be him.
But if he truly cared about them, wouldn't he just keep driving? He wasn't father material. That's why he had to keep away from Rukia, too. She deserved someone who shared her dreams-someone who would be as good a father to her kids as she was a mother-and that wasn't Ichigo. He could never be that man.
Could he?
A sliver of hope expanded in his chest, burning so hot he had to pull over to the side of the highway to keep from crashing his car. Traffic sped by him, rocking his car slightly as it passed.
Maybe he wasn't good father material now, but maybe he could be one day. His entire military career had been a series of imposible challenges. He'd met every one without flinching. Maybe he could do this, too.
He wasn't afraid of hard work. He wasn't the kind of man who saw failure as an option. He'd never given up on anything in his life. Why would he give up on the single most important challenge he'd ever faced?
Sure, his dad had been a raging asshole, but he'd also been a drunk. Ichigo wasn't either of those. He'd made sure that he didn't follow in his father's footsteps that way. Why, then, was he so afraid he'd be the same kind of father?
The stakes. That was why. They were high when kids were involved. As long as he was alone, he couldn't fuck up anyone else's life but his own. If he became a husband, a father, that changed everything. It would no longer be a training simulation, but the real thing. Real people could be hurt.
Tiny, defenseless people. And Rukia, whom he loved more than anyone or anything in his life.
Then again, weren't those the very people he'd be willing to risk everything to help? People he loved?
Ichigo's heart slowed. Time stretched out, giving him time to make his decision. This only happened whenever he had an important shot to make. It was how his mind allowed him to deal with life-or-death decisions, and this was definitely in that category.
Could he escape his past, his heritage? Could he overcome all his flaws and weaknesses to deserve the things he wanted most out of life? A home. A family.
Did he dare to take that risk?
If that was the cost of having forever with Rukia, then hell, yes. He'd risk anything for her and her children. And he'd succeed. He always did when the stakes were high. He would now, too.
The fact that he couldn't walk away from Kon, Natsuki, and Rukia now had to be worth something. It had to prove that he wasn't a quitter and that he didn't just walk away when things got hard, like his old man had.
Ichigo wasn't like him. He was better than that. He deserved a chance to prove to Rukia that he could be the man she wanted. Be the man he wanted to be.
Excitement made him shake as he merged back onto the highway and took the next exit ramp. He had to get back to Rukia. Right now. He couldn't wait to ask her to give him a chance. She wouldn't have to give up any of her dreams for him.
He'd make them all come true.
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Rukia thought she imagined the knock on the front door. Then Renji set down the half-empty bottle of pills and she knew that it had really happened.
A flash of hope filled her, and she pulled in a deep breath so she could scream loud enough to be heard.
Renji's hand clamped hard over her mouth and he gave her a stern look. "Scream and you'll be sorry. Or should I say, Natsuki will be."
Rukia nodded her head just to get him to move his hand. Whoever was out there was her only chance of getting Kon and Natsuki out of this alive. She'd stay quiet until he was far enough away he couldn't stop her scream.
Renji moved his hand, but rather than going to see who was at the door, like she expected, he ripped off a length of tape and sealed her mouth shut.
Rukia screamed anyway, but it wasn't loud enough to be heard through the heavy wooden door.
The knock came again, more insistent this time. "Rukia, I need to talk to you."
Ichigo! He was alive! And he'd come back to her!
Relief swept through her, so sharp it stung. She shifted her weight, trying to rock her chair so he'd hear the thud. She screamed behind the tape until her throat burned. Kon did the same.
Renji's face went white and his brown eyes widened in disbelief. "No! It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I planned so carefully."
"Rukia, I know you're in there! All the cars are here. Please let me in." Ichigo sounded almost desperate.
"He can't hear you," said Renji in a whisper right by her ear. "He'll go away in a minute, thinking you've rejected him. He'll go back to his car, drive away, and it will all be over." He sounded nervous, like he was trying to convince himself more than her.
"I'm not going to let you shut me out," said Ichigo. "I love you. Do you hear me?" His voice got loud enough even her neighbors would hear. "I love you, Rukia! I'm not leaving until you let me in!"
"Damn it!" seethed Renji. "Why is doing the right thing always so complicated?" He stomped away, behind her where she couldn't see. When he came back, he was wielding a gun.
Rukia's blood ran cold. He was going to kill Ichigo right now. Right here.
She had to warn him. She screamed louder, begging Kon with her eyes to help her, too.
Renji went to the door. She couldn't see him around the corner, but she could hear him turn the lock.
"Hey, Ichigo," said Renji, sounding like nothing was wrong.
"I need to talk to Rukia."
"She doesn't want to see you. I'm sorry. It's best if you just go."
No! Rukia rocked her chair, scooting it the last few inches until she was near the wall. Her head was the only thing she could move, so she slammed it against the wall. Pain exploded in her head. She shook it off and did it again. This time, her vision filled with flickering lights. She couldn't let herself pass out, and she blinked hard to clear her vision.
"What was that?" asked Ichigo.
"What?"
"That pounding?"
"Kon's music," said Renji, smooth and calm.
"That didn't sound like-"
Kon tipped his chair over, and it broke apart under his weight. The sound of splintering wood filled the room.
"What the hell?"
There was a harsh grunt, then Ichigo appeared around the corner and took in the situation in one, sweeping glance. Behind him, Renji approached, gun in one hand, what looked like a can of Mace in the other.
Rukia screamed and jerked her head, trying to tell Ichigo that Renji was behind him. He spun around and saw the gun. Ichigo reacted in a brutally fast attack. One second, the gun was in Renji's hand, the next, it was skidding across the floor.
Ichigo pinned Renji to the wall by the throat. Renji lifted the can of Mace and sprayed. Ichigo knocked the can aside, deflecting most of the spray away from his face, but some of it went into his right eye.
Ichigo's body went limp and crumpled to the floor. His eyes were still open, staring without blinking. He lay there limp, like a puppet with cut strings.
Renji retrieved the gun and stood over him. That feral glow of insanity was back in his eyes. He was going to kill Ichigo while Rukia watched, both of them helpless to stop it.
AN
Next chapter tomorrow! Review please!