The sun glared at me through the transparent curtains the next morning. The tall Russian nurse was back, glaring at me from the hall as I nibbled at the breakfast I'd been given. Everyone seemed to be glaring at me today.
Shortly after breakfast, Mrs. Potter came in alone, surprisingly. The elderly woman gave me a big grin. "Hello, Miss Malfoy. I hope you remember me? I'm James's mother."
"Of course, Mrs. Potter." I smiled. "I'm a little weak, but my memory's just fine. Thank you for coming to get me."
"Oh, it's no trouble, dear. You're welcome in my home any time, especially now that I know your story." The old woman smiled, reaching a hand out as I struggled to stand up.
"Please, Ma'am, I'd rather not talk about it just yet..." I frowned, limping forward.
"Of course, dear." She nodded. "Please, don't strain yourself. I can get one of the boys up here to help you."
"Uh, just let me get dressed, Mrs. Potter." I blushed. "I can walk on my own."
"Okay, dear. If you say so." She said, taking the seat by my bed.
She let me get dressed in the clothes that the hospital had given me. I collected my things, including the ruined set of school robes and she stood to walk me out.
"Do I need to check out or anything?" I frowned.
"No, they let me clear it all up for you." She said, setting a supportive hand on my arm.
"Thank you." I whispered. The two of us made a slow, but steady way down from my room to the lobby where four worried teenage boys and three more worried adults stood.
"Dez!" Sirius cried as I nearly tripped. He wrapped an arm around my waist and held me up. "We were so freaking worried."
"They wouldn't let anyone visit until you woke up." Peter said with a distinct pout on his face.
"And they wouldn't let us all go upstairs to fetch you." Remus added, moving to the opposite side of Sirius to help carry me.
"And they took all the nice things to say." James smiled softly. "You okay?"
"Not really." I frowned. "But I will be."
"I'd kill that horrible man myself if they didn't have half a dozen aurors stationed at his house." Miss Lupin muttered, kissing my forehead.
"Thank you, Miss Lupin, but that's really not necessary." I shrugged. "I'm perfectly fine. I've always been fine."
Mrs. Pettigrew brushed a strand of hair from my face. "You poor thing."
I closed my eyes against a sudden wave of pain. Was this what it was like to have a mother? I barely remembered my own...
"I didn't expect all of you to come." I whispered, leaning on Remus. "Thank you. Really, it means the world to me right now."
"You're family now, Dez. We'll always be here when you need us." James grinned, gently taking my clothes, leaving me with only my wand to carry.
"Thank you." I said again, smiling tiredly. "But can we get out of here now? I never want to see the inside of this place again..."
"Thought you'd just woken up?" Remus frowned, helping me walk out the door and into the bright, summer morning.
"I did." I laughed. "But hospital food sucks that much."
Sirius grinned at me. "Doesn't it? I had to stay once when I was little. Got some kind of muggle virus they couldn't figure out."
The nine of us all piled into a red, metal deathtrap that seemed at least twice as big on the inside than it was outside. All five of us teeneagers fit comfortably on the long back seat and the four adults settled into the bucket seats in front of us.
"They call this thing a van." James explained as the contraption roared to life. "Muggles drive around in them all the time. This one's been enlarged a bit, and had a few other upgrades, of course. Try not to mention it though, it's minorly illegal."
I rolled my eyes. "Everything fun is minorly illegal."
The great red machine took off out of the parking lot and zig zagged through a sea of even more metal deathtraps. By the time we arrived at a nice sized house in the suburbs of London, I was completely convinced that the muggles were trying to kill themselves off with their vehicles.
"Home sweet home." James smiled, holding open the door for me and my two human crutches. "Welcome one and all."
The inside of the house was beautiful in a warm kind of way that the Malfoy Manor could never be. Nothing was a cold color, like silver or white. It was all cream colored or bare wood. I was lead into a large sitting room where the boys softly deposited me on a plush red couch by the fireplace. Remus settled at my feet, and the others plopped onto a couch across from us. The adults seated themselves in recliners around the room and Mrs. Potter muttered something about lunch and scampered off.
Everyone started talking about common things like the weather and the score of the latest quidditch game. I quickly lost interest in the conversations going on around me and fell asleep on the couch in the nice warm, friendly home of my best friend.
When I woke again it was dark outside the bay window behind me. The fire was still going, but it was the only light I could see. Next to me, on a side table, was a single silver servant bell, like what really lazy rich people use to call their house elves. I sat up silently and looked around. It must be rather late, as everyone seemed to be in bed. I tried to stand, but fell back in shock when the bell rang itself.
Four tall shadows practically ran into the room, each bearing gifts.
"Here, drink this. You'll feel better." Remus said, holding out a glass of water.
"I had Mum make your favorite." James said, offering me a plate of steak, potatoes, and veggies.
"Here, I have some tea with a little something to help you sleep. It was two sugars right?" Sirius said, setting a steaming cup on the side table next to the bell.
"It made me think of you." Peter said, holding out a thick book on experimental potions that I admittedly didn't have. "It was at the second hand shop when I went to buy some of my school stuff a bit early. There's some writing in the margins, but Remus said that sometimes reading some of the previous owner's side notes could help, and I thought you might get bored."
I smiled. "Guys, relax. I'm not broken. I'm a little battered, but I don't break easily. I just need to stretch my legs a bit. Unused muscles and all."
"Of course." Remus nodded, setting down the glass in his hand to help me up.
I rolled my eyes and let him help me to my feet before stepping away. "I'm fine, guys." I whispered as I took a small step forward.
It took awhile, but eventually I came to stand on the patio of the Potter's house with the boys hovering over me like mother hens. I stared up at the sky silently. After awhile I frowned. "When's the next moon?"
"August Third." Remus answered softly. "The one after that is September first, of all days."
"That really sucks." I sighed, setting my hands on the banister on the porch. "How are you working around that?"
"I'll be going to school via floo the day before." Remus shrugged, wrapping an arm around me. "And I'll miss your resorting. I'm sorry in advance about that. I'm sure you'll get put wherever your heart desires."
"My heart says I'm a Slytherin, through and through. My head says that Slytherin isn't safe anymore and that I'll get moved to Hufflepuff, where misfits belong." I sighed softly.
"Hufflepuff's not so bad." Sirius shrugged, coming to stand at my other side. "They're good finders and kind people. It'd probably be for the best. Less likely to be a complete outcast there, no offense."
"You'll get Gryffindor, just like us." James grinned, sitting on the rail next to Sirius. "You're brave, one of the bravest people I know, and you'll never be alone with us around."
"I think you'll get Ravenclaw." Peter said, laying down on the wood floor of the patio. "You're wicked smart, even at herbology, once you got shown the ropes. Besides, you look good in blue."
"Watch it, Wormtail." Remus teased. "That's my girlfriend you're talking about."
I laughed softly as Peter sputtered out several half formed sentences, each worse than the last. Eventually Remus laughed loudly. "Shut up, Pete. I was just joking with you."
"Oh..." Peter sighed in relief, his head banging softly on the wood as he laid down again.
I spent the next week at the Potters, with the boys hovering over me a every turn. Some days Mrs. Pettigrew or Miss Lupin would come for a few hours to check on their sons and I. When the first day of the full moon came, Remus went back to his mother's house and I finally convinced the Potters to let me go to my apartment in London. Sirius came with to help me settle in.
"We all wanted to come, but Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Pettigrew were opposed to their sons staying alone with a girl." Sirius grinned as he plopped down on my couch. "It was a stroke of pure luck that I convinced Mrs. Potter to let me stay here. You're still too weak to be alone and whatnot."
"That's exactly why I decided I needed to be here, Padfoot." I smirked. "You four were hovering like mother hens. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go take a nice warm bath, by myself, in the comfort of my own home. There's some muggle money in the pocket of my jacket. Can you like, order something to eat or something?"
"Yeah. Moony's mum taught me to use a phone when I was staying with her. Do you have one of those um... books with all the numbers and things?" Sirius asked as I walked away.
"Don't all muggle houses have those? I think most people keep them near the phone." I shrugged. "If not, go on a walk until you find someplace. I'm still too weak to do it myself."
He chuckled. "Sure. Play the weak card when it suits YOUR interests."
I grinned. "Definitely. Just have something for me to eat when I get back." I waved at him and went to explore the house. There was a kitchen right off the living room, and I discovered one bedroom downstairs and a basic white bathroom with a single white towel in the cupboard. I decided the upstairs could wait and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
I stared at myself in the mirror above the sink. My hair was a little longer than I remembered, my face a little thinner, and my eyes a little duller, but really, not much had changed since I last really looked in a mirror. Last time I'd been too focused on the scar to notice. I looked just as I always had, like a beautiful Malfoy heiress. Maybe even more so, now. When was the last time I recognized the face staring back at me? When was the last time I looked in a mirror without seeing my father staring back at me?
I calmly pulled my hair into my fist and used a simple cutting charm to sever it. I wanted to do a lot more. I wanted to claw out my dull, grey eyes. I wanted to claw at myself until every reminder of myself, the scarred Malfoy version of myself was gone. I wanted to make myself unrecognizable from that feeble little heiress I was not a year ago, but I restrained myself and stepped into the small bathtub.
I turned the water on as hot as it could go and stood in the spray, letting the heat distract me from the pain. I let myself cry for the first time, the sobs drowned out by the rushing water and the distant sound of Sirius's music in my living room. I let myself feel the pain I'd denied myself for eight long years since my mother's death. I screamed my pain and anger to the heavens and cried until I had cried myself out.
I stayed in the shower long after the water ran cold and just let myself feel everything I'd been pushing away. When I got out of the shower, I dressed in a blue, satin sundress that had once been my mother's and joined Sirius in the living room for a dinner of pizza and some muggle soda pop. SW16 Buckleigh Road was a new home for me, a new start, and in a way, it was a brand new me.