A/N: Still own nothing.
I started this story in May 2011 and have been writing a little along the way. Most of May and June was the first 45 - 50 chapters. I do not work other than sell Tupperware from my home. I have had plenty of time to write and can write a chapter in a few hours. This story just follows from within. I have not thought out anything in this story, I write it as it comes. I just start typing and it comes out. I was told in 2009 that I had signs of a stroke on a CTScan and have had headaches by the abundance since. My job from 2009 until Jan 2011 was sitting in a house during third shift (11p to 8a) nightly not doing anything but listening to people sleep and making sure they are fine thru the night. I have issues now do to that job, I have no energy to do more than what I can physically handle at home. I get out of breath just walking in the grocery store. I have started a walking routine that I was adviced to do slowly (every other day). I have not felt well the last few days and even sleeping thru the night, I still come home from taking kids to school and fall back asleep getting up around 1p. I am trying to turn my health around from being so unactive but there are times that all I can do is sit and read or write. I write anywhere, anytime when the mood hits. I write on my blackberry just as much as my computer.
I have said enough about me, I was just answering a few asked and unasked questions. If anyone wants to know anything, feel free to PM. I get all my reviews and messages on my phone so I am always available.
Thank you all for reading and I hope I haven't been boring with my RL story.
I love the reviews and hope that it won't be as much as a drop in posting later on in this story.
Ch 37-Communication Malfunction
EPOV
Waking up to Jazz sleeping on my chest is a sight I want to wake to every morning; his arm thrown over me with his hand on my side, his blonde curls against his cheek, smiling slightly as if dreaming, nuzzling to try and get closer against me. I carefully shift my right arm up to tuck my hand behind my head to be able to just look at him; I play with his hair with my left.
He held me and let me cry last night and didn't say anything, he just knew what I needed. He held me long after I fell asleep, he didn't want to disturb me, but his body got too uncomfortable so he had to wake me.
I must have watched him for 10-15 minutes before he woke. He moves enough to look up at me with a smile then settles against me. We don't talk; we just lay there holding each other. Everything that needed said between us was said last night when we shifted positions. We stay quiet, touching each other lightly, not wanting to let the world in yet.
After almost half an hour, Alice came to get the check I promised her. Smartass psychic pixie, she knew too much about everything.
When we finally got up, Em was beating on the door; I started to say something until Jazz stopped me and we gave Em some very graphic visuals. Hey, he started it; we just finished it. The best was when Rose said we broke him!
We were dressed and went to the bathroom still laughing. I close the door as he goes to piss. I groan looking at the floor remembering last night.
"You ok?" he asks over his shoulder.
I walk up behind sliding my hands under his shirt along his abs whispering in his ear, "you, me, floor, last night."
He drops his head back against my shoulder saying, "Don't remind me."
I feel really rejected and step back to lean against the counter crossing my arms over my chest closing my eyes.
"Babe?" he asks touching my cheek.
I turn my head away, I don't want pity. If he doesn't want me he can leave. I have a tear running down my cheek as he pulls at my arms, but I pull away.
"Don't."
"What did I do?" he asks choking up.
I shake my head no.
"Damn it Edward! What did I do? No secrets remember," he says putting his forehead to my chest. "We promised to always talk; what did I do?" he asks crying.
"Why did you let last night happen if you didn't like it? We promised not to push the other into doing anything."
He looks at me confused.
"I mentioned last night and you said 'don't remind me'. Why did you continue if you didn't like it?"
He wraps his arms around my neck, but if he is going to lie I can't do this. I start pushing him away.
"NO! You misunderstood. Please." I continue to push until he looks at me. He is scared, I can see it in his eyes, I just don't know why.
"Edward you mistook what I meant. I was saying don't remind me because we can't do anything right now. Our friends and family are waiting downstairs for us. I enjoyed last night, in here, a lot; I want a repeat of it, but prefer our bed or couch, the floor isn't ideal for it. You didn't push me into anything. Please say we're ok, say something, please."
"I'm sorry," I start be he doesn't let me finish.
"Please, don't leave me," he says crying hard.
I pull him to me, "Love, I misunderstood, I'm sorry. I love you. Please forgive me."
He nods as he wraps his arms around my neck holding on tight.
"Jasper I'm sorry I scared you, I felt rejected, and then I thought you let me push you to do that."
"I got scared because you were shutting me out. I didn't know what I did wrong."
"Nothing sweetheart, you did nothing wrong. I didn't let you finish talking or ask what you meant; I just jumped to conclusions without all the facts. This is entirely all my fault. I feel like my apology isn't enough to convey how truly sorry I am."
"We just have to be open, no shutting down. We have to talk before the situation gets out of hand."
"What can I do to make this up to you?" I ask kissing his neck.
"I forgive you. Maybe you can borrow Em's jeep and take me to the clearing," he says kissing his way to my lips. I nod as we kiss. He fists his hand in my hair pulling hard, I part my lips and he shoves his tongue in to play with mine. I let him have full control. He coaxes my tongue out to suck hard on it, and then bites down holding it. I open my eyes and he is staring at me. "No more shit like today," he says holding my tongue between his teeth.
"Pomiss," I get out not having the use of my tongue.
"Good," he starts sucking my tongue again and I moan pulling his hips to mine.
"Boys, is everything ok? You been in there a while and no waters running," Aunt Sue says through the door.
I shift us over to open the door with him still against me. He has his head on my chest as we look out the door.
"Jasper is everything ok?" she asks looking back and forth between us.
"Yes, we had a communication malfunction, but we got it worked out."
She crosses her arms looking at us. I wave her in and point at the door; she closes it leaning against it just looking at us.
I drop my head, I can't look at her.
"He made an innocent comment that I took wrong and was pushing him away. I thought he was rejecting me or lying or something. After he explained what he meant I felt like a total ass. By not talking to him, pushing him away, he thought I was rejecting him. I'm sorry, really sorry to both of you."
"Care to explain a little, I don't follow cryptic well," she says.
"He mentioned the oral sex we had last night and I said 'don't remind me'. He thought I was saying it was something I didn't want to do again or in the first place. He refused to talk to me but I pushed until he told me what he thought I meant. I explained he misunderstood that I liked it and would repeat it. He apologized," Jazz says not moving from me.
"We talked and will try not to shut the other out in the future, to talk things through," I say looking up at her.
She stands there looking at us and I don't know what is going to happen. I put my head down on his and cry saying, "I'm sorry Jazz. I love you and I'm so, so sorry."
The bathroom door opens then closes, I don't move. He shifts to stand in front of me, "Babe, she asked if I forgave you and I said 'yes, I love him'. She nodded and said she forgives you, mistakes happen."
"Jasper, I love you with everything I am. I will try to never hurt you again like I did today. Thank you for forgiving me and loving me," I say as I twist his engagement ring. He is twisting mine too.
"Marry me," he says looking at me.
"Always," I say back with a small smile. I lift his hand to kiss his ring then link our left hands together being careful of his stitches; I lift our hands up to our hearts near our tattoos.
We just look in each other's eyes for a few more minutes. I kiss his lips as I stand up to use the toilet. I hold his left hand in mine as he stands behind me helping me piss. He holds my dick as I lower my pants.
He kisses my neck until I'm done. I turn us to wash our hands. He stays behind me putting his left hand on my chest near my heart as I wash and dry our hands.
JPOV
He was scaring me badly; I had no idea what I could have done from our room to the bathroom. I was racking my brain trying to figure it out. When he kept pushing me away and wouldn't talk I felt like my heart was being ripped out. All I could do was cry and force him to talk.
When I realized he misunderstood I could breathe again. He still kept pushing me away and I had to try to get him to understand. He finally understood me and apologized. I bit his tongue to get his attention, he realized I meant business.
Aunt Sue looked pissed when she saw I had been crying. After getting her to understand it was all a mistake, she watched him as he cried and kept apologizing. She already knew I couldn't live without him.
He finally used the bathroom and cleaned us up. We head downstairs to see what was going on. Everyone is in the living room talking about all the wedding plans.
I pull him in the kitchen not letting him go. I pull out eggs and bacon setting them on the island. I get the pan and set it on the stove, then turn and fix up the coffee pot. I never let go of his left hand in mine. He pulls down plates and cups as I get out silverware.
"I'm not going anywhere, promise," he says with a kiss to my neck. "Can I have my hand to make us breakfast?"
I look at him as he runs his thumb over my bottom lip.
"Nowhere," is all he says looking me in the eyes.
I let his hand go, but never move far from him. He makes bacon with my left hand holding on to his shirt. He looks at me and winks or gives me a quick peck while he cooks.
He plates our bacon then scrambles the eggs in the pan. He plates them when they are done. I tug his shirt as I move to pour coffee. He stands behind me with his arms around me. I fix our cups with him watching over my shoulder. He takes his cup as I take mine and he holds my pinky walking to the table. We set them down and I turn to get our plates. He stops me putting both hands on my face.
"I am not going anywhere, ever. Now please let me get our plates." I look down.
"You are not smothering me; I want you just as close if not closer because of my screw up. I love you and thank you for not giving up or letting me give up," he says as I look in his eyes.
I nod and he pulls out our chairs. I sit down watching him as he grabs our plates and comes straight back. He sets them down, but doesn't sit. I look up at him.
"Do you trust me?" he asks looking at me.
"Yes."
"I'll be right back; don't move from your chair."
I furrow my brows but he just says, "Trust." I nod as he walks over to the sliding door and turns to look at me as he opens it.
I start to stand but he says, "Trust, right?" So I sit down not sure where he is going or if he is coming back. After a minute or two that feels like eternity, I start to have tears running down my cheeks. He isn't coming back.
I drop my head playing with my ring as tears just fall on my hands. All of a sudden a flower is placed in my lap covering my hands. He starts talking and I look up; he came back.
"I had trouble getting it pulled off with no shears. Why are you crying?" he asks as he kneels down turning my chair.
"I thought you left," I whisper.
"What can I do to prove I'm not going to leave? I know I fucked up, but you're stuck with me," he says with tears in his eyes.
"I don't know."
"Maybe we need to be on our own for a while," he says holding my hands.
I start crying harder, he doesn't want me.
"I think I just fucked up," he says causing me to snap my eyes to his.
"Love, Jasper, I mean I had a communication malfunction. I was talking about our own house not breaking up. That is what you thought right?" he asks wiping my tears.
"Yes," I whisper.
"What if we get out on our own now, instead of next year? I think we need more privacy to be able to get our relationship flowing right. Just because we are getting married Saturday doesn't mean everything will magically change. We need to really work on us without a lot of interruptions. I don't think a few days alone on our honeymoon are going to be enough."
"What about our family?" I ask playing with his ring.
"We can come visit them, tell them we need time for us. They will understand, if they don't screw'em," he says with a shrug.
"Where would we live?"
"Apartment or house; doesn't matter, just us, no one knocking or barging in."
"Ok. I'm sorry," I lean over putting my forehead to his.
"Why? You had no idea what I was going to do and I didn't think it would take me as long as it did to do it. See, we talked and understand each other. As long as we listen and try to say what we mean then everything works. I realize half ass wording can really put a wrong turn on the real meaning," he says putting his right hand on the back of my neck, rubbing with his thumb.
"You're right, maybe we need to be on our own," I say and he smiles knowing I'm talking about our own place.
"What in the hell just happened?" We turn and see Aunt Sue, mom and dad all looking at us but dad is who spoke.
"Um," I start but get cut off.
"What is going on? Why are you breaking up?" Mom asks.
We look at each other and laugh. We say at the same time, "Communication malfunction!"
"What is so funny?" Dad says looking a little pissed and confused.
"We are not breaking up; just listen before you say anything. We have had a few miscommunications lately, and you just walked in after one," Ed starts.
"We try to talk but get interrupted by whatever, ourselves, friends, you three, just different things. I'm sure Aunt Sue filled you in on the bathroom issue," I say looking at them. They all nod.
"We feel that we should be on our own, wait let me finish, married in our own home. We need time to work on us without interruptions. Just today, we have had two misunderstands and thought the other was leaving, which is not happening. We love you all but feel strong about this. A few simple words taken wrong can cause a major problem, it about tore us apart earlier. We just want time to connect and be able to work things out like a normal couple without having everyone in our business," Ed tells them.
"If we do it now, we can really work on us, trying to do that with people around isn't easy. Again this isn't sex. If we wait until college not only do we have those new school and class issues, but trying to keep us together may not be easy."
"High school isn't as hard as college, we can adjust easier if we have already lived on our own before we get there," Ed finishes.
"Oh, well, I see the misunderstanding point. Not really knowing what you had been talking about I just assumed the worst by the wording, I'm sorry," dad says then looks at mom and Aunt Sue.
"I don't think any of us thought about their relationship as changing. We assumed nothing would change once they became a couple. Carlisle you know that when we moved here that we were a lot like them now. We had to learn about each other more than just as friends. Sue, I think you and Charlie aren't as different as them now. You two want privacy without the kids around, right? I think letting them move out now will either help or it won't. If we don't let them try then we are in a sense pushing for their relationship to collapse and not grow," mom says looking at dad and Sue.
Dad pulls her into a hug talking in her ear. They pull Aunt Sue over to them and have a quiet talk.
"Are you gu-, oh, sorry; private conversation, we'll wait in the other room," Em says as he walks in the kitchen then turns around.
I pull my boy off the floor and onto my lap straddling me. He has his arms around my neck with his hands playing with my hair. I have my hands on his hips rubbing just under his shirt with my thumbs.
"I love you, I'm sorry for letting things get to me causing me to think the worst," I whisper to him.
"I love you too, I'm sorry for the same reason," he says whispering back then kisses me. We turn and look at them talking watching us.
They finally seem to come to an agreement. Dad looks uneasy although mom and Sue smile at us.
"We," dad looks at them and mom glares at him. "We agreed to let you move to your own place. If you need us for anything then just call or come by. We won't be coming over until you tell us its ok."
"I'll help you find something, if you want. We can help decorate, everything is your decision. Now, your friends are here to help you move out of your room so Emmett and Rose can get moved in. Eat your breakfast," mom says pushing dad to the living room.
"I'm going to heat up our breakfast, you need anything love?" he asks looking at me.
"Just you," I say kissing him.
He gets off my lap and takes our plates to the microwave. I sit smelling the flower he gave me and watch him. He comes and gets our coffees and puts them in the microwave when he takes out our plates. He brings our plates setting them down with a kiss for me then gets our coffees.
He sits next to me as we eat linking his foot with mine. We just smile at each other and feed each other bites. We just leave everyone out of our bubble for as long as possible.