Chapter 35

I lay down on the bed, humming Papa Roach's 'Reckless' as I stared at the lightning bolt crack on the ceiling.

"I'm walking on broken glass from the wreckage of my past
I'm locked up in a cage 'cause I'm a prisoner of my ways…
So cut me off-throw me out.
'Cause I'm reckless…"

There was a knock on the door fifteen minutes later and Monroe poked his head inside. I ignored him. Regardless of my dismissal, he walked in and sat on the bed next to me.

"You're kinda frustrating sometimes," he said, staring at me.

"Interventions and insults. I must have done something to piss off my Karma today," I replied, giving Monroe a sideways glance.

Monroe just shook his head and laughed. "Frustrating and stubborn. You're a lot to handle." He was right, but I was in no mood to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was probably the stubbornness in me.

"At least you're laughing, that's a much better replacement for anger." I turned my head to face him.

"Hun, you really gotta stop thinking that I'm angry at you. I just get angry at the situation." He patted me on the leg.

"I gave you plenty of situations to choose from," I said with a slight smile.

"Yeah, don't I know it." He shook his head, but there was a dash of amusement in his eyes. "What am I going to do with you?"

I grinned up at him. "I could think of a few things." Monroe leaned in to kiss me, but I paused.

"Did Chloe leave?" I asked.

"Yeah, she started in on me after you walked out. I can add another death threat to my list. Now, she was creative: my entrails pulled out of my nostrils. I mean, it sounds painful, but at least she put more effort into it than the last two. She gets points for that," Monroe said, smiling at me.

"Yeah, that's Chloe." I chuckled in spite of myself.

"She kinda ran out after her threat," he smirked. "She doesn't seem to like it when my eyes go all red."

"Oh, you didn't!" I was gonna hear about that soon enough.

"What can I say? I'm frustrating and stubborn, too sometimes," he chuckled. We made a good team.

"You're not giving her a chance to warm up to you acting like this, you realize that, right?"

"Hey man, she's the one threatening my insides." Monroe gave me a wink.

"Yeah, but you threatened to eat her, so that trumps her threat," I argued. The conversations I had never ceased to amaze me.

Monroe shrugged. "Eh, apples and oranges." I gave him a disapproving scowl. "Tell ya what, if she behaves, I'll behave. Does that seem fair?"

"I have a feeling it's as fair as I'm going to get." I gave a slight laugh and shook my head. I didn't foresee Chloe behaving, so this tete-a-tete was probably going to continue. I really wanted them to get along, partially so Chloe would stop trying to break us up, but mostly so I could be in the same room with two people that meant the world to me without worrying they might rip the other's head off.

"You wanna go somewhere?" I asked, looking at the clock. It was almost eight-thirty and it was already dark outside. I had things I wanted to show Monroe in Louisville. It was too late for any museums or art galleries, but there were landmarks we could drive by. The city always looked better at night, so this was actually a better time to go.

"Yeah sure, what did you have in mind?"

"Surprises," I replied and I turned to smile at him. Maybe he would start to like my surprises, too.

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

We got in the car and I pulled out a piece of paper with my cliff notes of notable attractions around Louisville. I'd been compiling this list for May, but some of these things I could show him tonight. Monroe loved giving me facts and I'd Google'd some factoids to go along with the places I was going to show him. I had it all memorized, but I scanned the printout one more time for good measure.

My phone buzzed as we buckled our seat belts. I pulled it out of my bag. It was a text from Chloe. I laughed when I read it.

"Oh, Monroe. It seems you've gotten Chloe all riled up," I said, trying not to laugh.

"Thumper needs to learn her place," he replied. Did he mean in general was he referring to in the Wesen world?

We texted back and forth for a few moments and Monroe wanted to read, but I kept it private. The conversation went as follows:

Chloe: WTF is up with UR boyfriend giving me evil demon eyes?!

Me: Maybe you shouldn't threaten his entrails? Just a thought. ;-)

Chloe: I just told him if he hurts U I'll hurt him in return. I was making a point!

Me: He gave U bonus points 4 creativity. LOL!

Chloe: Yay, Wolfenstein thinks I'm creative. I've fulfilled my life's purpose. Thx. *sarcasm*

I put the phone away, laughing aloud now. Monroe didn't seem to like being left out of our conversation. I assured him it was a girl thing.

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

We set off on I-65 toward downtown. I started with the world's largest baseball bat. The sidewalk curved so you could park the car right next to the Louisville Slugger Museum and we stepped out to see the illuminated metal bat on Main Street. We got out of the car and Monroe craned his neck as he looked up at the enormous bat.

"Dude, that's huge!" he said then looked back at me and grinned.

"The bat is one hundred-twenty feet tall and weighs over 68,000 pounds, so yeah, it's pretty huge," I replied. "It's made of hollow carbon steel, and it replicates the wooden bat used by Babe Ruth in the early '20s, which was all of thirty-four inches long."

"I'd like to see the ball you need to go along with that," Monroe joked.

"Funny you should mention that!" I grinned widely. I grabbed his hand and we walked a little further down the street. I pointed up at the building to the left. The Kentucky Mirror and Plate Glass Company had a huge baseball simulating going through a large pane glass window. Monroe shook his head and laughed. I loved to hear his laugh. I loved… Oh, stop it, Renée. I shook the rest of that sentence out of my thoughts like an Etch-A-Sketch.

"But wait, there's more!" I exclaimed and we walked a few more blocks down Main Street and I pointed to another building.

"Not to be outdone, Caufield's Novelty Shop also wanted the world's largest bat." In front of us was a mammoth vampire bat hanging upside-down with devil, red eyes glowing in the darkness. Given his wide smile, Monroe was enjoying this. I wanted to walk the rest of the way down Main Street and show him so many fun little oddities. But this just wasn't a tourist kind of visit. In May we'd return and I'd show him everything.

"Now that's Wie ein geölter Blitz!" he exclaimed, staring up. "And, dude, a big one at that!"

I tried to decipher the German words, but I didn't get it. "Oiled lightning? Oiled flash?" I tilted my head slightly toward Monroe.

"Well, yeah, if you translate the actual words," Monroe chuckled, "but it's an idiom meaning, 'Bat out of Hell.'"

"Ah," I nodded. "Okay, that makes more sense." I took Monroe's hand. "So, are you ready for more?"

"There's more?"

"Yeah," I grinned up at him, "We aren't done yet."

"Ready whenever you are then."

(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)

"Back to humming Meatloaf, huh?" Monroe chuckled as we walked toward the direction of the car. What was I humming? Oh… It was 'You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth' from the Bat out of Hell soundtrack. It wasn't the first time I'd had that one on my mind.

"I really enjoy his music." Was there was any '80s music Monroe liked at all?

"Well, he sings pretty well for a Blutbad, I have to admit," he replied.

"Huh?!" I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, my mouth slightly agape. "Meatloaf is a Blutbad?"

"Well, think about it. He even mentions it in a few songs. That one you're humming in particular, come to think of it." As if a light bulb went off in his brain, Monroe looked at me with eyes wide. There was almost a glow above his head. "Wait a minute... you hummed that one before…" Yeah, he was remembering the night of the symphony. I smiled as he put two and two together.

"You brought me a red rose and the song came out," I said, confirming his thoughts.

"Oh, dude, you are so lucky I didn't catch on to that!" He gave me a devilish grin as he spoke while his red eyes glowed brighter than even those of the vampire bat.

"Well, it's a good thing you weren't too interested in my throat a month ago, or maybe you would've accepted my offer to come inside that night," I said casually, starting to walk back to the car. He stopped me and put his hands on my shoulders, turning me back to his deep, brown eyes.

"What? Oh, I was interested in much more than just your throat, Renée. I've been interested since Blue Moon Bar." He held the sides of my arms, looking into my eyes. "I mean, do you have any idea, like, how hard it was to refrain from kissing those lips when I first met you?" He gave me a look like I should've known that. Monroe leaned over and kissed me hard just to prove his point. Then he nibbled my neck in case I doubted that he hadn't wanted my throat either. His mouth sent my body tingling and I gasped a little. Monroe leaned back and that devilish grin returned. "You make the best noises," he growled under his breath, startling me. Oh my, but I really liked it!

"You were really good at kissing my hand though," I gave him a coy smile, "but it was sweet," I added as we continued to walk back. Frustratingly sweet for those three weeks, but still I appreciated the chivalry.

"You know, just for the record, it took more control than you'll ever know to just kiss your hand and leave you at your hotel room. I fought with myself in the car for, like, fifteen minutes or so not to go back in," he confessed. What might have happened if he had? It would've been tragic, that's what.

"Thank goodness the universe gave us a second chance," I replied instead as we got back to the car. I was more than glad. I wanted to say so much more while we were having this heart to heart, but I bit my tongue.

"Renée, I know we really didn't get an opportunity to, you know, talk about what happened at my house the night I told you to leave. With all this going on..." Monroe began as he leaned against the car hood, but then he scratched his head as if he was trying to figure out how to finish the rest of his sentence.

"Monroe, I'm sorry about that night. I was tired, and what I was trying to say came out wrong," I admitted. I wanted to tell him that his angry, red eyes had said enough that night, but I needed him too much right now to argue.

"No, dude, I'm sorry! But, I don't know..." he sighed. "This relationship is so different than any I've ever been in, man, and frankly, it's baffling. Then you're hot and cold and I don't know what to make of it, you know? I've got feelings all over the place for you, Renée, but my control and urges..." He was fumbling his words, and he ran his hands through his wild, curly hair.

As we got back in the car, I told Monroe all the pent up worries I had about spending the night. I told him about how I rushed in with Jack. I was breaking the chains open and letting Monroe know what I was really feeling.

"Jack broke my heart, and while you are nothing like Jack, I want to take it slow this time. But then I also don't want to take it slow, so that's when the 'hot and cold,' as you like to put it, happens. You aren't the only one with all these feelings building up inside." I was fixed on his eyes to make sure he understood.

"I'm definitely not Jack, I can tell ya that," he replied making a sour face, "but I'd never hurt you like he did, Renée." Monroe's voice was sincere and genuine, which Jack's never was. Monroe meant every word. "I've done my fair share of rushing in with past relationships, I get that. I just feel we're different, you know? Like what you said about the universe, man. You and I weren't supposed to be two ships that passed in the night. Our boats were meant to collide." He was poetic, which I adored, but his hand gestures of two boats colliding made me chuckle.

"What if our boats just slowly cascade into one another?" I offered.

"Dude, I don't want ya take this the wrong way or anything, but, you know, we're already sleeping together... Like, pretty frequently I might add, so we've kindacrossed the Rubicon on what people call taking it slow, you know?"

"I'm not denying we've gone a tad fast already, and I thoroughly enjoy our extracurricular activities, but it's still different spending the night... for me at least."

"Okay, as long as, you know, going slow doesn't mean we stop doing that, because, I mean, I'm not ready to give that up." Monroe's eyes widened, giving me a knowing look as a devilish grin formed under his beard.

"Umm, I'm not about to give that up, either." I pursed my lips and the heat crept up my cheeks. "What we have is wonderful, Monroe, but I want us to sort through these feelings and we're going to have to take an occasional day off to do that properly. We don't have to give up being together, just find some balance," I said.

"I was sorting out my feelings just fine holding you in my arms in bed last weekend. I crave you. Umm, I mean, I crave that closeness with you. Okay, that didn't come out right." Monroe shook his head and I couldn't help but smile. "What I mean to say is, I just wanna be able to kiss you goodnight in bed, you know, instead of kissing you goodbye at the door. Sometimes it's really hard to let you go." He turned to me and reached for my hand. The red in his eyes were filled with a sense of longing. Monroe had a way with words and I melted a little, even with his fumbling.

"Just hold on loosely, but don't let go,"

I sang the lyrics, giving him my own genuine smile. "Like I've said before, I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh, I'm not letting go, that I assure you," he replied as he gave me a lopsided grin. Monroe was wonderful and I was so lucky. I was also so very smitten. The crazy 'L' word balanced on my tongue, just begging to jump off. I needed to heed the lyrics of .38 Special, too. I had to keep from clinging too tightly to Monroe and work on my own control, so that word wouldn't take a nosedive out of my mouth.

I smiled softly. "I'm glad we had a chance to talk about this and say what's on our minds."

"You know… I heard what you said outside that night." He flashed me a look. What did he mean by that? That night felt like forever ago. I'd stood on his porch, then walked over to my car and said aloud… and my eyes widened. 'I'm afraid if I stay, then I'll wind up saying something I really do mean.' I put my hand to my mouth. His hearing was impeccable.

"Oh, that," I simply said, removing my hand quickly and trying to keep my face smooth. It never worked around Monroe.

"So, what did you mean to say that night, since, you know, we're saying what's on our minds and all?" he asked. His eyes tried to sift through my brain to get the answer. Oh, no, Mr. Monroe, I can't tell you that. Way too soon, my brain reminded me, while my heart was singing 'All You Need is Love.'

"I'll tell you later," I replied, "much later." Monroe gave me a suspicious look, so I changed the subject quickly. "I really need to test that hearing of yours. Does it have an off button?" I asked, with a playful grin.

"Why do you wanna know? Going to update the 'Bluerod' notebook?" he smirked.

"Well, it's my duty to keep my future progeny informed of eavesdropping Blutbaden, and the distance they need to keep to speak aloud," I replied still grinning at him teasingly.

"Will these be the same progeny that'll be wearing green colored contacts to hide their brown, Blutbad eyes?" Monroe asked, with a devilish grin. Holy crap! My cheeks were steaming they were so flushed.

I broke my gaze from his. "Okay, I'm learning sign language. That settles it."

"Hey, come on. It's okay." Monroe turned me toward him. "You know, your mom asked me the eye color of my parents today. When I told her brown for my dad and blue for my mom, she, umm, looked like I'd run over her dog or something." He gave me a half-grin.

"She means well, she really does," I said, not sounding too convincing.

"Yeah, well, that's what family is for. I mean, I'm sure my nana would've asked you if you'd rather be boiled or baked if she was around to meet you." Monroe chuckled, but I didn't find that too funny. He looked at my face then stopped. "Uh, well... You know what I mean. Family is supposed to embarrass you. It's, like, kinda their job."

"My family is good at that, and you haven't run for the hills, so I appreciate you sticking around." I laughed.

"It takes a lot to scare off a Blutbad." Monroe scoffed. "Your family will have to work harder than that to get me to run away with my tail between my legs."

"All jokes aside, I'm so glad you're here with me, Monroe. I don't know what I would've done without you." I told my heart it was going to have to sing another day. This was as close to revealing things as I was going to get tonight.

"I'll always be there for you." Monroe pulled me toward him and wrapped an arm around me. "Believe me when I say that, Renée."

I took in that familiar, comforting scent of Old Spice as I leaned into him in the car. I believed in something else besides fairy tales at that moment.

I lifted my chin up to face him. "I'll always be there for you, too. I practically put my head in a lion's mouth for you." I smirked. "That means I'm invested. I wouldn't do that for just anybody."

"I'm still not too thrilled about that, Renée. We've had our fair share of secrets, don't ya think? You gotta let me know these kinda things, so I can protect you." His voice went deep again when he mentioned protecting me. He was bent on keeping me safe, which I appreciated. His chivalry was part of what I admired about him. I'd read Alexandre Dumas way too much. I promised him and he strained a smile.

Monroe's soulful, brown eyes flashed back to glowing red as he added, "Let's hope there are no more Lowen in our future." I nodded in agreement. That one in Portland better have moved on to host his crazy events elsewhere.

"You doing all right?" I asked. This last week had been a lot to deal with. I was teetering on the edge of my own sanity, so it had to be affecting Monroe pretty badly, too.

"Eh, I'm hanging in there." He shrugged and let out a sigh. "I'm not getting my workouts in, and my regimen is all out of sorts, man. I just... I don't know... I'm just on edge, but I'll be okay," he replied, using the magic word as he smiled more genuinely this time, so it seemed to have worked.

I leaned against his arm. "I hope so."

I was still worried about him. Monroe had been acting differently ever since we got here. Well, even before we got here he'd been different. Although, I didn't know him well enough to actually say if that was really true. Maybe this was normal and the rest of the time before was just him putting his best foot forward. I pushed the negative thoughts out. Hopefully he was just going through a bad phase. He was exposed, like he'd said, and he had Chloe on his case, too. The incident with Jack didn't help either. That explained here in Louisville, but in Portland I chalked it up to my actions with staying over. Things would get better when we returned. I'd work through my feelings and it would be all right.

"So, I forgot to ask, what got you humming that Meatloaf song tonight?" he inquired and I looked down a moment.

"Wie ein geölter Blitz," I said softly as I started the engine. Oh, but I knew full well that wasn't the reason. The lyrics sang out again in my mind.

"And I swear it's true,
I was just about to say I love you…"

A/N: Just when it looks like Chloe and Monroe might be all right, something happens. Ah well. (;

So we're getting a small tour of Louisville and a little heart to heart with Monroe and Renée.

Meatloaf actually has three songs that mention a wolf in the lyrics.

My profile has pics of the baseball bat, the baseball, and Caufield's vampire bat. Bonus features!

More to come, Stay Tuned...