AN: As a treat for our loyal readers we are working on posting chapters more frequently.

Chapter 35:

Discouraged that their search had so far been fruitless, Jamie let his thoughts stray to Griff and what little he had disclosed last night about his recurring nightmares. Jamie was no stranger to nightmares, either, especially after his father had died. In fact, the first time he had met Ben Cartwright, the kind man had woken him up from a traumatizing dream. They were disorientating and, to Jamie, embarrassing. Thankfully, after he had begun living on the Ponderosa and eventually adopted into the Cartwright family, his nightmares faded then stopped altogether. If Griff is still having nightmares, Jamie rationalized, something awful must have happened to him.

"Joe, how come laudanum makes you have nightmares?" Jamie finally vocalized after coming to the conclusion that his silent pondering was not giving him the answers that he wanted.

"There's a chemical in it that kills pain by..." Joe explained, trying to remember what Doctor Martin had summarized when he prescribed the medication to him. "Umm, well, I don't really know how it does that. But anyway, when it does that, it makes you see things that aren't there."

"And these things," Jamie persisted. "Are they the bad things that happened to you?"

"Seems that way, but I guess it also depends on each person," the older brother confirmed.

"Oh." Jamie turned his attention back to the prairie and scanned for any sign of Thunder. "What kinda bad things happened to Griff to make him refuse the laudanum? I mean, Pa kinda glossed over it, but what exactly happened? You all must know something!"

"Jamie!" Joe reprimanded, surprised that his younger brother's characteristic inquisitiveness had turned so dark. "You know I can't answer that."

"But I just w-"

Cochise bobbed his head up and Joe was quick to give his horse an affectionate rub to calm him down. "No buts about it," insisted Joe. "Taking away a man's privacy is like taking away his dignity. Griff's past is not some dime novel for you to peruse any time you want."

"I know that!" Jamie defended.

Joe softened his tone when he saw Jamie's shameful expression. "I know you're just worried, but since that's the case, why don't you ask Griff about all this?"

Jamie shrugged, keeping his eyes on Fly's mane. "I dunno. I don't wanna seem intrusive or anything. I just figured since everyone else seems ta know..." the boy's voice trailed off when a soft whinny caught his ears, warranting his immediate attention. "Did you hear that, Joe?"

"No, what is it?" Joe scanned the area around him, every muscle in his body tensed as he prepared himself for danger.

Instead of answering, Jamie slowly headed toward the direction of the noise.

"Hey, not so fast, kid!" Joe nudged Cochise in the ribs gently, urging his mount onward.

Sure enough, Jamie's hunch paid off but not in the way he had hoped. The prized and temperamental black stallion he'd been praying to find stood before him but his normally glossy coat was slick with sweat and his mane matted in knots and grime. Wheezing snorts filled the air and his eyes were watering. Jamie's heart caught in his throat. He had hoped to find the horse in reasonably good health, not like this. He dismounted from Fly and slowly walked up toward Thunder.

"Jamie!" Joe's voice cried out sharply, stopping the teen in his tracks. He, too, climbed down from his mount.

"Joe, what's wrong with him?" Jamie asked tentatively, frightened of what the answer might entail.

"He's sick and he's scared. Just stay where you are. I'll see if I can get up close," Joe replied. With his hands outstretched, he inched his way closer to the trembling horse, all the while searching the ground nearby for rattle snakes that could spook the horse more.

Thunder started to become unsettled the closer Joe moved toward him. His eyes grew wild, his nostrils flared, and his hooves pranced in the small space he was able to move in. With his reins tangled in the bramble bush, his movements were restricted. "Easy, boy, easy. Not gonna hurt ya," Joe murmured to the distressed animal.

Jamie felt completely helpless as he looked on and tried to stay completely still but it was proving to be difficult when all he wanted to do was head on over to Thunder and stroke him.

Just as Joe's fingers reached out for the reins, the horse pulled away and reared up on his hind legs, his front hooves almost connected with Joe's chest. The rancher jumped back and fell on his behind, injuring only his pride.

"Let me try!" Jamie insisted, determination bolstering his spirits. He hurried over to the panicking steed and came to a halt in front of Thunder. Making sure to stay out of the horse's reach, Jamie crouched down to make himself appear less threatening. "Easy, boy," he whispered. "I just want to help you, okay?" Slowly sidling towards the tangled reins, the sixteen year-old continued to speak softly to keep Thunder calm. "Will you let me do that? 'Course you will. You're doing great."

Joe slowly got to his feet and dusted himself off. Although he did not want Jamie to approach the nervous horse, it became obvious that Jamie was making some progress and he knew that any sudden movements could spell disaster.

Thunder flattened his ears back against his head and snarled, but he stopped rearing up on his hind legs. He panted loudly, unable to get a full breath. The familiar scent of Cochise and Fly calmed Thunder down slightly and he flinched as Jamie's hand neared him. Completely spent of energy, the black horse twitched back and forth haphazardly, attempting but failing to bolt.

"There we go," Jamie crooned, gently pulling the reins free. He made sure to keep an iron grip. Thunder had eluded him for far too long, but Jamie would do all he could to make sure the horse returned with him.

Once Thunder saw that he was freed, the two Cartwrights expected him to live up to his reputation and fight back with unparalleled fury. Instead, the horse stumbled backwards but could not do much more than that.

"Oh, Thunder, Griff is gonna be so happy to see you! He missed you so much," Jamie beamed. "Once we getcha back home, it'll be like you never left!"

Joe cautiously walked to Thunder's side and began inspecting the horse."That's a good boy," he murmured. His stomach flipped over itself as he noticed the various cuts and bruises that marred the black horse's body. In addition to that, Thunder seemed to be favoring his front left hoof and had lost some weight. "Bet you're just as glad to see us as we are to see you, huh, fella?"

"Joe," Jamie gaped, seeing how weak Thunder was under Joe's gentle probing. "He's so sick. How are we gonna get him back to the Ponderosa?"

Joe pursed his lips uneasily. His love for horses was legendary in the Nevada territory, but as much as Joe wanted to reunite Thunder and Griff, he was not so sure it would be possible. "I, uhh…" he stuttered, still focused on Thunder. "Jamie…"

At the tone of his older brother's voice, Jamie's face fell. "Joe, we can get him home, can't we?"

Joe crouched down to get a better look at the hoof Thunder deliberately kept weight off of. "We have to figure out his condition first."

"But, we can't go home without Thunder!" protested Jamie. "What would Griff say if-"

"Forcing this horse to make it all the way back to the Ponderosa might kill him," Joe finally admitted. "And that'd be cruel. Griff wouldn't want Thunder to suffer anymore than he already has, would he?"

"No, I guess not," shrugged the youngest Cartwright.

"And you certainly have suffered," Joe cooed to the horse under his breath. He watched sadly as Thunder continued to pant and quiver. Guttural moans came from the exhausted animal, worrying his human companion even more.