1921

Esme

It had been two months since Carlisle and I had declared our love for each other. Those two months had been, without a shadow of a doubt, the best of my entire life. I felt that at last my life had come together. I had Carlisle, who I loved with all my heart, and Edward, who was like a dear little brother to me. Though I still mourned the loss of both William and Grace, using the rare moments when I was alone to curl up on my bed and cry my grief out, I had accepted that Carlisle had been right when he told me I had done the best I could for them.

It was one of the rare nights where all three of us would hunt together. We had just finished our hunt and were about to return home.

"Race you home," Edward called challengingly as he loped over to where Carlisle and I stood. I smiled affectionately at him.

"You really can't wait until Esme's newborn year is over, can you now, son?" Carlisle commented from beside me, causing me to smile even more.

"Humph," was all Edward had to say before racing through the trees. I was about to set off after him, put instead of letting go off my hand, Carlisle clutched on tighter. Though of course I could have pulled myself free with my superior strength, I had no desire to do so.

"Why don't you let Edward win for a change," he suggested, before pulling me closer to him. Without hesitation his lips pressed themselves against mine, while his arms wrapped round my waist and pulled me closer. My eyes closed as I lost myself to the sensation, trailing my hands through his hair. Though are kisses had become increasingly less chaste over the last few months, this was something new once more. More fiery and more passionate somehow. His tongue grazed against my lips, and I felt my mouth open and his tongue enter. Just then I felt something hit my head.

"Ow!" I said on reflex, though it hadn't actually hurt. I looked into the sky and saw a bird flying away.

"I think a branch just fell on my head," I said with a giggle. I looked at Carlisle, who was stood several feet away, looking at me with guilt written all over his face.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know what came over me." He looked down at the ground as he said it, as though he couldn't bear to hold my graze. Thoroughly confused, I walked over to where he stood. When he still didn't look up, I gently took one of his hands and placed it between both of my own. I hated watching him beat himself up about things he shouldn't be ashamed off

"Carlisle, it wasn't your fault. It was just an odd coincidence." He refused to met my gaze still. "Kiss me like that again," I ordered. He looked at me, confused.

"What? Esme, I couldn't," Before he could finish I was kissing him again, but I could tell he wasn't responding properly this time, he wasn't allow himself to enjoy it.

"Carlisle, you're not going to hurt me," I insisted.

"Come on, let's go home," he said.

"Carlisle," I growled, annoyed.

"Please Esme. Let's just go home." I sighed, realizing I was going to get anywhere.

"I'll race you," I said in an attempt to lighten the melancholy mood that still hung over us. To my relief, he laughed slightly.

"That would hardly be a fair race," he told me.

"True. But since I didn't get to beat Edward, I'll have to settle for beating you instead." With that I let go of his hand and began dashing through the forest.

I was about halfway home when the scent hit me. It was delicious, so much more tempting than the deer we had drank from. Even though I had only hunted an hour ago, my throat burned raw. I had to cool it, and the scent called me forward, promising to do just that. I did not make a conscious decision to start following the pull of the scent, but I found myself doing so all the same. Running at my full newborn speed, I came closer and closer to that wonderful scent.

"Esme?" I heard Carlisle's panicked voice in the background, but I did not give it any thought except to register that he was too far away to catch me. Whatever this scent belonged to it - it was mine. I would not have him steal my prize.

Finally coming across my prey, I jumped and attacked without giving it a second thought. I began sucking gleefully as the most delightful elixir began pouring down my throat. Once I had finished I noticed with joy that the burn in my throat had fully gone out for the first time. My joy turned to horror as my gaze fell on the drained human corpse at my feet. It was a man, his brown eyes lolled in his head, and at his neck was a horrific scar, like a bear or something had mangled him.

I did that! I killed him!

I recoiled in horror away from the corpse, giving a slight whimper. In the background I could hear Carlisle's footsteps and his shouts coming ever closer.

Carlisle! I couldn't face him. I couldn't look into the face I loved so much and tell him what I had done. That I had let him down.

So I ran. With my newborn speed I still had an edge on Carlisle, as I had proved earlier. My mind was frenzied. Full of disgust at what I'd done, shame for the pain my actions would surely cause Carlisle, and yet a part me of me couldn't help but note how nice it was to no longer have the nagging burn at the back of my throat.

I remembered the way Carlisle had acted earlier after the incident with the kiss, as if he had something to be ashamed off. How could he ever think that? I'm the one who never deserved him. I most certainly just proved that!

I kept running until I came out of the forest, and found myself stood at a cliff edge. It was not the same cliff I had thrown myself off three months previously, but the circumstances were eerily similar. Running through the forest aimlessly, ending up unexpectedly at a cliff-edge. Except this time I couldn't jump to end the pain that coursed through me.

I could hear vampire footsteps running, coming ever closer. I couldn't be bothered to run this time; I had nowhere to run to. I had to face what had happened. What I'd done.

Will Carlisle no longer love me?

EXAMS ARE OVER! That aside, same two points as last time. If you didn't read them last time, then please do. If you have read them before then feel free to skip this A/N (preferably to scroll down to the review button to leave your thoughts on this chapter, hint hint. Oh yeah, I'm subtle).

1) This story had been nominated for a 'Bring Me to Life' Award – The Passionate Women Award. I'd love it if you went over to www(dot)bringmetolifeawards(dot)weebly(dot)com and voted. Thank you.

2) I'm taking part in the Fandom Gives Back auctions in support of Alex's Lemonade Stand. Auctions don't start till the 26th, but I seriously suggest you go have a look at what's being auctioned as it's for an amazing cause. You buy certain authors (myself included) to write a story for you, as well as other twilight items, such as signed memorabilia etc. www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)com