When All is Lost, One is Found

Author: Rinoaebastel

Chapter 35: Shattered Trust

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and gain no profit from this fanfiction other than writing practice. Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling.

AN: This story may contain scenes taken from the Harry Potter movies and books, but it's not exact dialogue, just rewording of dialogue or omission. It is not marked.

September 1996

Dumbledore had been silent the moment he'd walked into the office and sat down. He assumed that being asked to come had something to do with the order. Now the normally peaceful silence had grown tense and uncomfortable. His neck felt stiff and his lower back ached from sitting in the high backed chair for too long.

"I want you to keep from giving Harry too many detentions," he finally said.

"Why?" he replied. "If he deserves them, then he should get them." He knew even the other students saw how Potter was treated by other teachers. He'd heard Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and his Slytherins talking about the favoritism shown to the brat. One of the few indirect compliments he'd ever gotten from students was that he was a balance to said favoritism.

"Harry is going to help me some nights. I need him."

"He is incompetent. I doubt he is useful."

"It's vital for his fight against Voldemort, Severus. Please try to be less harsh."

A key instrument to the fight, and he wasn't aware of it. "And why didn't I know about this?" He folded his arms across his chest as irritation grew.

"I don't want to give you all the information. You spend too much time with the Dark Lord."

His lips parted with incredulity and he let his arms fall. He was a spy. His spy. If he hid things from him, how was it supposed to help?

"It's all because you order it," he snapped.

"It's a precaution."

"I never gave you reasons to distrust me, Albus. I endured kills, torture and you don't tell me even though I put up with those things."

"You know it's a wise plan of action. If he accesses your min—"

"So now you don't trust my skills either? He is only able to see what I willingly show him and you know it." A small sarcastic snort came from his throat. "You ask too much of me, Albus. The only thing I gain is becoming a target to both sides!"

He said he trusted him, but he always kept secrets that could help him end this war. If not that, then telling him these things could make it easier for those who will have to fight. He'd always known he was a tool, but he thought some part of this man cared for his well-being. All he knew now was this man was a manipulator. Albeit for the greater good, but still a manipulator.

"I do trust you, Severus, but what I'm doing with Harry will be his mission. I believe he is the one capable of doing it." Albus looked at him with sad eyes.

"I see." He was hurt that he didn't tell him about that mission of Potter's when it was his task to protect him. His life was linked to that purpose. His debt with Lily and the fall of her killer was the only things that mattered to him.

"Still, I…" Dumbledore seemed to be pondering something. "Honestly…" He slouched. "I think you're the only one I can trust with it. It will ensure the eradication of Voldemort's existence."

He waited.

Dumbledore's eyes became concerned. "Harry… He shouldn't know until it's necessary. He might not be able to do what he needs if this information gets to him when it's not right."

Dumbledore lifted part of his sleeve, showing him how the darkness had extended up to his elbow. He thought it would've gone slower than what it was. He'd have to try to find something to slow it further.

"After my death—"

"I can still try to do something to slow it, Albus."

"Don't argue with me, Severus. Let me speak. In a time after my death, there's going to be a moment when the Dark Lord will fear for his serpent's life."

"Are you referring to Nagini?" He found himself asking in confusion, trying to seek more answers with a dumb question.

"Yes. That will be when the Dark Lord is most vulnerable. You must tell Harry. It will be when he starts protecting the serpent, keeping it at his side all the time."

"What do I need to tell Potter?" Dumbledore always drew out conversations to the point of annoyance.

Dumbledore covered his cursed arm and closed his eyes. "When Voldemort went to kill Harry, Lily Potter got in the middle to protect him. The curse rebounded. The fragment of Voldermort's soul attached to the only living thing it could find."

His stomach sank. "It attached to Potter. That's why he can speak with snakes and look into the Dark Lord's mind."

"Yes, a part of Voldemort lives within him."

"If there's something of the Dark Lord inside Potter, that means he'll always survive." Was all he'd done to protect the boy pointless? "Potter has to die." The words tasted bitter the moment he spoke them.

"Yes, and Voldemort must be the one to do it. It's almost like suicide." The old man looked drained as he spoke.

This changed everything. His life, his debt, his purpose, and his promise to her. Redemption was impossible for him. Everything he'd done was in vain. But Dumbledore couldn't be that inconsiderate. Could he?

"For all these years I thought we were protecting him for her."

"We were protecting him because it was necessary," Dumbledore said.

His face betrayed him and he lost all the control he had. His eyes showed fury, his scowl was deep and his nostrils flared. He couldn't believe what this man had done. He was a dammed puppet master as much as the Dark Lord.

"You didn't fucking care about anyone did you?" he said, reverting to language he didn't normally use. "You've been raising him like a farm animal. Raising him strong only to have him die." He shot from his seat and stalked towards the older man, who was now on his feet.

"Don't be surprised, Severus. How many men and women have you—"

"You have used me to lure yet another person to their death. Used my pain against me." Right now killing him seemed like the biggest favor he could do for the order and the world. The hate he held towards Dumbledore nearly rivaled what he held for the Dark Lord. It almost overrode any hostility he had for the elder Potter and his son.

"You have come to care for the boy?" The tone of his voice only served to flame the fire of his hatred.

"You think it is him I care for?" His wand fell from his sleeve to his hand and without removing his harsh eyes from the old man, waved it. "Expecto...Patronum."

A small stream of light came from his wand and took the form of a silver doe. It moved, jumped, and without looking at its owner, disappeared.

The patronus still knew it hurt him to look at it. It was a shadow of his lost love. The reason he lived, the reason he protected the boy, the reason that he would die. That was the only way he could repay his mistakes.

"It's still the same after all these years," he said with a small voice, one that almost contained guilt. It was tender and loving, like an adoring father to a son.

But the sound of his voice no longer mattered. All of his trust in this man had disappeared. This revelation had weakened him. He would continue to protect the boy as long as he could despite his fate. Because he wasn't a coward and it was the right thing to do.

"Always."

AN: Yep I know this is sooner than in the normal story, but, for the sake of mine I had to twist it ;D I hope you liked it. This is an important point of the story because, like the title says, it's a point of change for Severus and Dumbledore "alliance". Let me know what you think and see you on November 1st!