I got a new phone! Wee! Oh, my aim is: eightysomething2 for any of you who want to chat. I actually updated on time, very proud of myself. –smiles- Well, I'll let you get back to the story. Thanks for the reviews! Would love more!!
Chapter Thirty Six: Ian's Acceptance
"Am I allowed to talk about that?" Ian asked, "I mean, you're not gonna' rat me out are you?"
Dr. Kylie laughed, "I used to do the stuff when I was your age, don't worry. This is between you and me."
"My parents aren't involved either?" Ian looked suspicious.
"Not unless you want them to be."
He visibly relaxed, slumping in the leather chair with relief. "So, what am I supposed to talk about?"
"Anything," Dr. Kylie shrugged, "Everything."
"Let's talk about Jory."
"Jory, Jory… I'm having her soon," Dr. Kylie wrote something down on his clipboard, "What about her?"
"This girl," He ran a hand through his hair, "She's fucking awesome, you know? And she doesn't even know it. The entire time I was on the island I was clean. And you know what? I didn't feel any withdrawal! Is that even possible?"
Dr. Kylie scribbled something and looked up and him, "It might be possible. Sounds like you're head over heels in love. She share the same feelings?"
Ian let his gaze drift down to his shoes, "Nah… I dunno. I ended up telling her after I was done puking. Seems weird, I know but if she's upset I just feel like spewing chunks everywhere. So I told her, you know but she didn't say anything. Just starts lookin' around the room like crazy. Finally, she gets up and leaves without a word… Fucking ruined me."
Dr. Kylie leaned over and touched Ian's chin gently, bringing his face up so he could look him directly in the eyes. "That's not a real denial Ian. She must have just felt uncomfortable. You kids went through hell on that island; she might not be ready for a relationship just yet. Give her some time, maybe she'll come around."
"Maybe…," Ian though for a second, "Or maybe not. Jesus, Doc I'm a druggie for God's sake! She doesn't fucking deserve me!"
"Maybe you shouldn't do them anymore than Ian. Love requires some sacrifice."
"I-I can't. I've tried. Not by myself. Not without Jory. I need them, I need them," He shuddered as if in his own world.
Dr. Kylie touched his should as if to bring him back. "Why do you need them Ian? You seem like a strong guy, what does this shit do to you to make you want to come back? What doesn't real life give you that you need to fake?"
Ian pulled away, "I don't know! They make me feel accepted, I guess. Like nothing in the world can bring me down. I mean, my parents never really noticed but… They always managed to bring me down. Don't get me wrong but… They never fucking got me. Not what I did or said. I wasn't accepted. And school, god. School was a friggin' nightmare! I was made fun of, beat up."
He shuddered again, goose bumps appearing along his arms. "But the drugs, you know. They made me feel good. I could get the shit beaten out of me and it'd all be okay."
"But Jory… Jory makes you feel accepted?"
"My god, yes. She didn't judge me with first glance. Think I was some loner freak She talked to me like she talked to everyone else. Gave me a chance. Laughed at my jokes. Made me feel good."
"We're out of time Ian. We'll pick back up on this tommrow."
Ian started to leave, rubbing the tears out of his eyes furiously.
"And Ian?"
He stopped.
"Stay off the drugs. For her. For yourself."
"I'll try."