Chapter 37

"He was really terrible to be around and dragged the name of the team down. He was grumpy all the time and did nothing but nonsense. He spend more time in the brig than in our quarters. Hannibal was ready to sign his papers and get him transferred. I was so mad at him, I mean he was my friend, he was close to me and all in a sudden he turns everything upside down."

"Sounds like he pushed to test how much your friendship could stand. What exactly happened?"

"First he was just annoying, he didn't do what he was asked to, didn't follow Hannibal's orders the way he was supposed to but did his job anyway. You know, the end result was okay but the way he did it was not what he had been ordered. It increased more and more. He got involved into fights, was found drunk, he talked back to the higher ranking officers. Hannibal had to bail him out all the time until he just didn't do it again, let him rot in the stockade if that was what he wanted. Don't get me wrong, in the field he did his job first class, as always, but at the army camp he was like exchanged. In the end nobody wanted to trust him in the field, that or he was in the stockade anyway and didn't go out with the others."

"Murdock, you told me what he did but what I actually asked was what was the reason behind. What had happened?"

Face's eyes fluttered open. "I can answer that." He tried to sit up, but grimaced in pain.

"Kid?" Hannibal questioned.

"It's nothing…I'm just a bit stiff."

B.A. snorted. "Yeah…I'll bet."

Face ignored him and continued in a weak voice. "They don't know the truth anyway."

"Face?" Murdock leaned in close. "What are you talking about?"

But Face turned the tables instead. "What do you remember me telling you?"

"You said that you saw something really awful…that messed with your head. Another soldier being…um…well…treated badly."

Face nodded at Murdock. "Yeah…saw it…first hand." His eyes welled up. "Felt it too."

Hannibal, Murdock and B.A.'s eyes widened while Father McGill's closed as he said a silent prayer.

"You were the soldier that was treated badly." BA whispered without a question in his voice.

"No, I wasn't. It was a sergeant. I wandered around doing my supply rounds when I heard voices and laughter behind a shed. I went there and came across the sergeant and three bullies that were beating the sh…"his eyes went to Father McGill," that were beating him badly. He was laying on the floor curled up and protecting his head with his arms as they hit and kicked him. I made as much noise as I could and run towards him hoping that alone would make them run, thinking that others would hear us. Only one of them got the hint, the other two turned on me but I held my ground. After a short while they too run off so they wouldn't get caught by others if anyone was attracted by the noise."

"So that is why you felt it too, you got beaten too."

"Another assumption colonel?" Face looked at Hannibal.

"Sorry kid, what did you mean then?"

"I got him to the infirmary and then went to his team, I thought they would want to know what had happened. I went to the billet of their commander knocked and went in. I made the mistake not to wait until I was called in, after all I thought I have a most urgent message. Inside I met the three bullies that just received the money for their work. His own team had set him up, they even paid the bullies for it, can you believe it?"

"What happened after that Faceman?"

"They got me before I had a chance to back out. Two held me and the third one drove the words of the commander home, making sure he hit only parts that were covered by clothes. I was to forget everything and not say a word or they would come after me and anyone who is close to me."

"And that was enough to make you comply? You normally wouldn't have let them scare you." Hannibal found it odd and thought there was more to the story than the kid had let on. But he had also learned his lesson to not assume straight away.

"Well, you know, it was his own team. They were supposed to care for him, to bail him out and not to set him up. I mean, they didn't care for him at all."

"And?"

"And? Is that not enough?"

"No. How did you help to protect him from that team?"

"I didn't need to. He was hurt so bad that he was sent home."

"And you didn't want to get them behind bars? They hit you too kid."

"Uhm actually, I didn't think of that. I had other things on my mind."

"Things like what buddy?"

"Things like…I don't know, it was a long time ago."

"Things like whether your own team did care about you? Whether they could turn on you? Whether they would drop you if you did wrong or if they cared enough to help you? Did you test them Templeton?"

Face chuckled, but there was no humor behind it. "Test? That's putting it mildly."

"I've been tested a time or two in my time," the priest smiled. "How did they do."

Tears once more welled up in the blue eyes. "Passed with flying colors."

Hannibal took hold of Face's clamy hand. "I could see through you...I saw your pain. I just wish I knew the truth."

Face squeezed his colonel's hand back. "M'sorry." Ironically, they still didn't know the whole truth.

"No," Hannibal corrected his man. "I'm sorry...we're sorry that we didn't make you feel comfortable enough to trust us."

"No...no," Face gasped out. "Not you...not your fault. Shouldn't have to...to make up for...for my insecurities." Face broke out into a sweat and curled into himself. He felt dizzy and sick, but didn't want to cause any more trouble.

"I'm so sorry about leaving you at the course...I didn't think...um...you seemed to be in control...didn't realize Nam was still effecing you so badly."

Murdock swallowed hard; as a resident of the V.A. he knew better. "It never goes away."

The conversation was put on hold as Face took on a color between white and ash and developed a white knuckle grip on his blanket.

"Just a bit stiff right?"

"Kid, talk to me, what is it, do you need a doctor?"

There was no reaction from Face other than that he screwed his eyes shut. "I'm going to call Maggie, see what she says."

"No, no, just a cramp, my stomach, it's getting better."

"Your stomach cramps should be over."

"Yeah man, there ain't anything inside you that could want out."

"Don't know…where it comes from."

"Okay, try to relax some. Maybe some warm tea will help, what do you say?"

The thought of getting anything in was unbearable."No, don't think I can."

Hannibal saw that unless Face was about to pass out there was no way he was going to tell what was wrong. Instead he decided to go for a change of topic. "One thing I don't understand kid, why did we pass your test? I was about to sign you off, we were all more than fed up with you and I once even let you rot in the stockade when we moved out on a mission."

"You cared."

"Huh? Your definition of taking care needs an update Faceman."

The Father saw how Face was suffering to keep the conversation going and get the others minds away from his physical situation. He decided to help him out a bit, but watch him closely too. "Maybe I can help here. You cared because you did all those things with the hope that he would stop doing whatever he did wrong. You cared enough to find it an odd behavior, to not straightaway sign him off to a different commander, to even let his behavior annoy you. He wasn't air to you, you noticed that something had changed."

"As I said, needs an update." grumbled BA while shaking his head.

"And you didn't send any goons after him to teach him a lesson."

"No, we only decided to leave him in the stockade for some time while I could have bailed him out. Not much difference if you ask me."

"A big difference. You cared enough to get him out after you came back. That made the changing point."

"How do you know?"

"From his letters, it was written between the lines." Face was slowly relaxing but he wasn't there yet. "And colonel, what you said earlier, that Nam is still affecting him, it isn't Nam. Nam is part of it but you leaving him at that obstacle course hit something far deeper. Just what had happened to that soldier and what he had tested you for, you didn't care enough to wait or check if he needed you. At least that is how it came across."

Now Face was uncomfortable, no more physical but from how the Father was reading him like a book, and reading loud to the others. He needed a change of topic. "Uhm BA…I got to tell you something. Do you know your friend, Sergeant Barnes, the one from the motor pool, he shook hands with the goons after the colonel had handed over the money."

B.A.'s brow furrowed. "What you talkin' about, Faceman?"

Face flinched at the sergeant's acerbic tone. "I…I saw him, B.A."

"Barnes was a good man, sucker. Don't like you bad-mouthin' him."

"I'm not lying, B.A."

"You lie about everythin' else," the muscular man muttered under his breath.

Face physically shrunk and closed his eyes as the comment hit him hard and straight in the gut.

"B.A.!" Murdock admonished. "Face doesn't lie to us."

"Yeah…and how we know that? I say he just did."

Hannibal and Father McGill shared a look of concern; things weren't supposed to go this way.

Face opened his eyes again and his blue eyes looked directly into B.A.'s brown ones. "I'm sorry, B.A….but it's the truth."

"Then why you just bringin' it up now, man?"

Face was breathing hard…practically panting. "Because…thought…thought that's what you…you all wanted. Me…me to tell…what…what happened." He paused to catch his breath before adding softly. "Once again…I…I was wrong."

"No, no you are not kid, we want you to tell us."

"But BA…"

"I'm just a bully, sorry. I know you lie…but not to us when it matters and something like this does matter."

Face didn't even look at him. "You don't mean it, you just saying it." Under his breath he muttered "Anytime I open up it backfires at me. It's just talking and nothing else."

"Hey, you just accused a very good friend of mine, a friend that died in Nam I may add, of serious wrongdoing. You think I would react smoothly, and after all those years? I overreacted but really, what did you expect. Why do you come out with it now?"

"Cause we asked him to open up you big mudsucker."

"But not…"

"Not with the unpleasant things? Bosco, the truth is sometimes hard to hear and we don't want to see it, that's why it is so easy to just look the other way, just what happened after Sue hurt Templeton. But the terrible things are there and people need to talk about them."

"Sorry Father, I'm sorry Faceman…but why now?"

"Because….because he was your good friend, very good friend. I didn't know how much you share…if you knew…if you could…"

"If I could turn on you?"

Face bit his lip and nodded miserably.

"How could you even think that, man?"

"How could I not?" Face countered instantly.

Murdock put a hand on Face's shaking shoulder. "You're right…you have every right to doubt us."

"But…but…I don't…well…not really…I mean…at least I didn't until…"

"Until I messed up," Hannibal finished. "Oh, kid…what did I do?"

"You saved me, Hannibal…more times than I can count. That's why it's so hard for me to figure things out…so confused."

"That's good, Templeton…keep talking," Father McGill encouraged.

But for Face it felt anything but good. He didn't want to lose his team and he had learned the hard way that too much of the truth could drive people away. But it was as if he couldn't stop himself and the words kept pouring out. "Why did you save me all those times and then you don't care about what happened to me? You just leave me alone. And why did you hurt me? I know I endangered Maggie and I deserve punishment for that but I never thought you could be so cold, so emotionless."

Face was shaking like a leave and Hannibal didn't really know what to say. "Kid, I'm sorry. She forced us, it wasn't because of Maggie that I hurt you. She would have done worse to you, oh kid." Hannibal reached out but Face trembled even more until the Father put a halt to it.

"Colonel, Murdock, BA, please leave us alone for a while. It's getting too much on Templeton and he needs some rest." He stepped in between Face and the others to make for a physical barrier and looked at each of them.

"You're right Father. Kid, we'll leave you to get some rest. We're just outside, don't think we're going because we don't care about you, we're going because we know you are in good hands with the father. Get some rest, we'll talk later."

"Yeah Faceman, we love you man and we're here for you. Just yell."

"I'll go and make you some food, what do you say? It's been ages since we all eat something good."

With that they left. As soon as the door clicked shut Face groaned as the tension left him. "What have I done? How could I say all those things, he's always been there for me."

"You did the right thing and it was just the top of the mountain. They will always be there for you, no matter what you say. You need to get those things out of the way to be a proper team again. They need to know what you are feeling and thinking in order to understand you and you need to know their reasons. Things need to be said and should have been said a long time ago. Keeping your pain to yourself hurts all of you. Now get some rest, we'll go on when you're rested. Things will be okay, you'll see."

The priest sat at the side of the bed and stroked over Face's head. Though it was strange for two adults the safe feeling coupled with his emotional and physical tiredness soon lulled him to sleep.

"And when your heart feels right again you can start to heal physically." The old man said to a sleeping figure before settling into a chair.

The hours crept by at a snail's pace for all those but Face who remained out cold in a deep exhaustion driven sleep.

The older priest could feel his muscles stiffening up and could no longer remain seated in the hard chair. Getting up slowly he stretched gently and realized that he needed to use the restroom. Creeping out into the hallway he smiled as he saw the three other A-Team members sitting on the ground with their backs resting against the wall.