Previously
Hot tears tumbled down my cheeks. Now, I was angry. What right did my 'brother' think he had in coming back? He was no brother of mine. He had left as soon as he could, and why? Because of me. Because I was too much of a hassle for him and because he couldn't bring girls back to his room and because he'd fallen out with dad due to sticking up for me and because I was never good enough. Because of all that.
"Get out," I spoke, keeping my voice level. I lay back down calmly, turning my back on him. He got up and walked away. I felt my bedroom door shut behind him.
Cooper didn't try to come back. At what must have been about eight o'clock mum came in and tried to talk to me. She left soon after, leaving me a bacon sandwich which was still on my bedside table come morning. My body ached and my stomach couldn't settle, but the biggest pain was in my head. Words didn't stop shouting at me. Words which remained as an echo from my childhood, and words from the last week. Words that I imagined Kurt speaking from the notebook we had shared for such a short time.
The notebook stayed in my bag. My fingers itched to read it when I woke with stiff cheeks on Saturday. But I didn't. I just rolled over and went back to sleep.
At midday mum tried to get me to talk again. She said a few things in sign but I looked away, ignoring her. Kurt didn't care about me. I needed to understand that. But for some reason my brain kept reminding me of the way our hands had fitted so beautifully together, his cursive penmanship, the way how, when he smiled, his cheeks dimpled and I just wanted to kiss them.
And all of that was precisely why I slept through Saturday. At nearly midnight, when I thought that everyone had gone to bed and once again there was no sign of Cooper, I got up quietly. I had no idea how much noise I was making as I opened my bedroom door cautiously. The sandwich that had been left the previous night had been taken away, and now I wanted something to eat. I needed anything to take my mind from Kurt.
I climbed off the final step and was on my way to the kitchen when I caught something moving in the corner of my vision. I jumped and span around. Just in time to see my dad with a handful of papers, his eyes on me.