Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect
A/N – Thank you as always to my wonderful readers and especially to my reviewers. The feedback on the last chapters was wonderful! Today you get a special birthday chapter! I hope you enjoy it!
"Those idiots!" Gina stormed through security on a wave of biotic energy, her anger crackling around her like an invisible thundercloud. "Of all the stupid, moronic, imbecilic things to do, they had to go and pick a fight with the geth while the fucking Reapers were invading." She slammed a fist into the nearest wall and Traynor jumped back, startled by the show of force.
Kaidan blinked; he hadn't seen Gina this angry since the council had grounded her during in their hunt for Saren.
She continued her rant, oblivious as crew members began to slink away. "I mean, I understand that they want their home back, but don't they understand that there won't be any of them left to go home if we don't stop the Reapers?" Gina braced her hands on the wall, breathing deeply. "I want to fucking scream."
Kaidan cleared his throat and motioned for Traynor to give them some space. A tiny thread of concern worked its way through him, and he took a few steps closer, only stopping when her biotics clashed against his; grating and harsh.
"What happened?" he asked as she pushed away from the wall and glowered unhappily at the retreating crewmen.
Her eyes snapped to him, slivers blue light whirring in them. "What happened?" she repeated, almost growling the word. "What happened is that those idiots are fighting with the geth! They don't want to help in the war against the Reapers as much as they want our help to fight the geth."
Tali and Admiral Raan came through the security checkpoint mid-rant and hesitated, their faceplates fixed on Gina as she paced.
"Commander Shepard?" Raan stepped forward and held out a placating hand. "I know this isn't easy, and believe me, I can only apologise for the behaviour of the others, but time is short. If we could continue the meeting … ?"
Kaidan winced as Gina's biotics spiked just enough to crackle against his. Did the quarians realise how angry she was?
Gina turned to them with a smile that was more a baring of her teeth. "Of course," she said politely. "Please go back to the other Admirals. I'll return in a moment." They left, though Tali glanced back at Shepard as though she could sense how angry she was. When they were gone Gina drew in a deep breath. "Those idiots attacked the geth with some sort of new weapon, and what do you think the geth did?"
"Fought back?" he guessed.
"Oh, they didn't just fight back." She wiped a hand down her face, looking exhausted as the anger left her. "The geth went to the Reapers. The Reapers, Kaidan. So now the quarians are fighting two enemies at the same time. Fighting and losing, might I add." She cast a glance back towards the war room, the expression on her face making it clear that she didn't want to hear what they had to say.
And he understood why; the quarians weren't offering their help at all. They were just so desperate to dig themselves out of the hole they were in that they were willing to bargain with the Alliance. He wouldn't have blamed them for that under normal circumstances, but picking a fight with the geth when they'd known the Reapers were coming had been extremely foolish.
He nodded towards the security clearance. "Want me to go with you? As a Spectre, of course?"
Gina smiled and a little more of the anger visibly drained away. "I'm that scary when I'm mad, huh?"
"Well, I don't know about scary," Kaidan scrubbed the back of his neck and grinned. "But I don't think punching one of the admirals in the face is good for diplomatic relations."
She half-laughed and half-groaned at him. "Forget punching them. I want to shake them by the shoulders until they see sense, but it's too late for that. They've already done all the damage they can do. All I can do is try to pull their asses out of the fire." With a low sigh she straightened and her Commander Shepard mask slipped back into place. "Thanks for the offer, but I'll finish off with the Admirals and meet you down in the Shuttle Bay."
"Shuttle Bay?" He blinked in confusion before he could stop himself.
"Yeah, it seems like the first order of business is going to be stopping a Reaper signal being broadcast from a Geth dreadnought. It's what's giving the Geth the edge in the fight." Gina ran a hand through her hair and rallied herself. "I have a few more things to discuss with the quarians and then I'll give Joker the coordinates and meet you to suit up." She turned and walked back through security, a picture of calm and poise.
Kaidan's eyes were drawn to her figure in the dress blues almost involuntarily; following along the curve of her waist and down those long shapely legs that seemed to go forever. Someone coughed to his left and he turned to find Traynor beside him, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips as her eyes slid from him to Shepard.
He straightened. "As you were, Comms Officer."
"Yes sir." She snapped her heels together jauntily and wiggled her eyebrows to show exactly what she thought of him watching Shepard.
Kaidan made his way down to the Shuttle Bay, his thoughts on the quarians and why they had chosen this moment to pick a fight with the Geth. He understood the concept of wanting to take your home world back from hostile forces, understood it intimately after what had happened on Earth, but the quarians had known the Reapers were coming. They'd heard all of Shepard's warnings. Had they been so wrapped up in their own problems they'd forgotten about the wider galaxy? That some problems were bigger than just one civilisation or race?
He sighed and began to dress, ignoring the plaintive looks from the biotic students as they saw him prepping for a mission. Dropping a team that included students onto a Geth dreadnought wasn't something Shepard would be comfortable with, of that he was certain, so he ignored their looks. The kids were good, but they had a way to go before he would be comfortable taking them into a genuine war zone with Geth.
By the time he was suited up, Gina had joined him and she dressed in record speed, her movements quick and angry. She muttered under her breath the entire time; her red hair wild and tussled, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes sparking. It was always amusing when she lost her temper; Gina was normally calm and serene, but right now she looked every bit like the rose that he often compared her too – thorns and all.
"Breathe, Rosie, breathe," he teased gently as she clipped her armour plating on with far more force than necessary.
She flashed a cranky look at him and finished "Easy for you to say, you haven't had to sit there and listen to the quarians squabbling amongst themselves like children. Half of them wanted the war, half of them were opposed to it! They can't agree on anything, and you know what? They still can't make up their minds about what to do with the Geth and Rannoch. The only reason they asked us for help is because they bit off more than they can chew."
"And Tali?" Kaidan asked as they collected their weapons and ammo, the weight of the guns familiar and comforting.
"Well, she's an Admiral now and she had the good sense to oppose the war, but she's frustrated because the others don't listen to her." Gina strode towards the elevator and Kaidan hurried to keep up. "She's coming with us," she added casually. "And Admiral Xen."
Kaidan almost stopped. "Admiral Xen? The creepy one"
Admiral Daro'Xen had given him the shivers the moment he'd shaken her hand. She'd held on for a moment too long, her silvery eyes narrowing behind her mask as she gave him a quick once over. He'd felt like a specimen as she'd studied him, and had Shepard not shuffled the Admirals along to begin their meeting, he felt sure she would have started quizzing him about his biotics.
Yeah, she'd creeped him out.
"Creepy?" Gina stepped into the elevator and faced him, the small smile playing around her mouth again. "You barely even spoke when she came on board. What's so creepy about her?"
"I don't know." Kaidan thought about it as the elevator sped to the CIC. "There was something in the way she spoke that just seemed ... creepy. She gives off mad scientist vibes."
She laughed. "Oh man, you should have met Mordin. He gave off mad scientist vibes like no one else."
A shadow passed over her face, and he knew she was thinking of all the people they'd lost; people like Thane and Mordin, but a moment later the shadow was gone and she smiled at him again.
The elevator spilled them onto the CIC level and they hurried to the airlock where Tali and Admiral Xen were waiting for them. Once inside, Gina sealed the door and double checked the door's seal before she stepped away.
No one spoke.
"We're coming up on the Geth dreadnought now, Commander." Joker's voice came over the comm, breaking the awkward silence. "Stealth systems are engaged so we should be undetected so long as they don't-"
"Look out a window?" Gina finished, chuckling to herself.
Tali laughed too, as though it were an old joke, but the reference went straight over Kaidan's head and he shrugged.
They fitted their breather helmets in place and Kaidan's world instantly narrowed to a small strip of vision and the sound of his own breathing. He glanced over at Gina and wondered how she felt about this, especially since she'd been wearing one of these when she been spaced over Alchera.
Did it bring back memories? Was she feeling tension and fear even now? He checked her bio readout on his omni-tool, but her heart rate and breathing was normal; if she was worried then she wasn't showing it.
There was a small bump and Joker spoke again, his voice tinny and sharp over the helmet comms. "I'm at the docking tube and I've locked on, but," he paused as though checking his instruments. "To be honest, it's in a pretty bad state. It looks like it took a hit. Or ten hits." There was another pause, longer, and then he spoke again. "Hang on, while I open the airlock and I'll show you."
They activated their mag boots and Joker cycled the airlock. It slid open, giving them a disorientating view of the mangled docking tube that stretched ahead of them. Kaidan's stomach turned sickeningly at the sight of all the crumpled metal, twisted debris, and warped or missing panels that exposed the vacuum of space beyond.
"Oh Keelah," Tali breathed. "I didn't know it would be so bad."
Gina shifted slightly, a small change of posture that normally would have meant nothing, but which let Kaidan know she wasn't okay with this.
"We'll be fine," she told them, her voice strong despite her physical tell. "We'll go over one by one and take it slow. It should hold as long as we're careful."
"Nonsense." Admiral Xen moved forward to the lip of the airlock, her voice scathing as she scanned the tube and checked her readings. "It's structurally stable. We'll go across in a group."
No one moved and Kaidan's dislike for the Admiral grew just that little bit more.
"No." Gina shook her head, her tone commanding and sharp. "This is my operation. We'll do it my way or we don't do it at all."
For a moment Kaidan thought Admiral Xen was going to argue with her, and judging from the way Tali caught her breath, he was sure she thought so too. But with a graceful nod the quarian stepped back and motioned towards the docking tube with a sweeping gesture.
"Whatever you say, Commander." Her tone was icy. "After you."
Gina froze.
Instinctively, Kaidan wanted to reassure her that she did not need to go down this docking tube first, that she didn't need to go down it at all, but he bit back his words. It wasn't his place to tell her what to do when she was working, and he sure as hell wasn't going to undermine her in front of Admiral Xen. It killed him, but he kept quiet as she gathered herself, nodded, and stepped forward.
"Of course," she said sweetly. "That's very kind of you, Admiral." Her tone could have cut class, but Admiral Xen seemed unaffected as Gina stepped through the safety of the Normandy's airlock and into the void beyond. "I'll radio back when I'm at the other side and it's safe for the next person to proceed," she told them, turning around to look at them one final time.
The image of her, framed against the black with stars and metal floating around her, was one Kaidan knew he'd never forget, and his stomach clenched tightly. Her eyes rested on him and he nodded at her reassuringly, wishing that they didn't have all these people around them so he could tell her openly how he felt. The words were there, but he held them in, swallowed them back and showed her with his eyes that he knew she could do this.
He had faith in her.
Gina held his gaze for a moment longer, then faced the dreadnought and took her first steps on the docking tube, moving slowly and carefully as she vanished into the black. Kaidan's heart thumped painfully as she began to walk up and around the tube, onto what looked like the roof for them. She vanished from view and he tensed, waiting for her to reappear. A hand fastened around his arm and Kaidan jumped, surprised to see Tali looking up at him.
"Breathe," she said softly, her voice trickling through his helmet. "Shepard knows what's she's doing."
Kaidan realised he'd been holding his breath and he let it out slowly as he nodded. "I know, but she-" He paused, frowning, as Admiral Xen stepped forward and looked out over the docking tube.
For a moment he'd thought she was about to follow Gina despite her orders.
"Wow." Gina's voice reached them, sounding awed. "Tali, you're going to love this view. Rannoch is breathtaking."
Tali's hand squeezed his arm and she let him go. "What do you see?" her tone was encouraging, coaxing, and she moved up next to Admiral Xen to look out over the tube, blocking Kaidan's view.
He forced himself to draw in a breath and to keep breathing as he waited for her to speak.
"I can see Rannoch through some of the gaps. It's so beautiful. And the stars are amazing." She sounded completely in awe. "I can see the land and the oceans, it's like a jewel."
Tali sighed happily and Admiral Xen leaned through the airlock beside her, apparently trying to catch a glimpse of their homework. One moment she was leaning out, and the next she'd stepped down onto the docking tube - ignoring Gina's orders.
"Admiral Xen!" Tali tried to grab her arm, but the other woman ducked out of reach and set out across the docking tube.
Kaidan cursed loudly and scrambled to the edge, debating using his biotics to try and snag the quarian and wrench her back in. No. If he tried that there was a chance he might hit the docking tube and do some damage. He cursed again, louder, while Tali tried desperately to convince Admiral Xen to come back - but the she ignored the younger quarian completely.
"What going on?" Gina stopped moving, and Kaidan saw her look back in the distance. "Who the hell is on the docking tube?" Her voice, like steel, slashed over the comms, vibrating with anger.
"You're almost at the other side," Admiral Xen spoke up smugly. "And see? It's holding?"
The quarian moved faster than Gina had, easily skirting around damaged panels with a grace and ease that showed how often she must have worked in a Zero G atmosphere. Kaidan watched with his heart in his mouth, clutching the side of the airlock and hoping against hope that the tube would hold as Gina started to cross those final few metres to the Geth dreadnought.
She was stepping over a crumpled panel when the docking tube gave a small heave. In the void of space it made no noise, but the entire tube rippled with movement and debris spun free, shooting off through the air. Gina screamed, a short frightened yelp which had Kaidan's adrenaline surging in panic as he saw the docking tube begin to rip free. Admiral Xen, who had disengaged her boots and was leaping across an empty portion of space was hit by a dislodged panel, and with a small cry she slammed into the floor of the docking tube, the crash enough to knock the tube free completely.
"Gina!" Fear dragged sharpened nails down his spine and Kaidan rushed forward to the edge of the airlock as the docking tube fell away from the dreadnought, huge chunks floating away in space.
It was impossible to see where she'd gone. Debris was everywhere. It hindered his vision. Sparkled in the light of Rannoch's sun. Small pieces. Big pieces. Bits of metal that looked vaguely human shaped. They spun everywhere. Shooting all in all directions.
Where is she?
Kaidan reached the airlock door and was desperately scanning for Gina when Tali wrapped a hand as gentle as a meat hook around his arm, wrenching him back while she hit the manual door release and sent the hatch crashing down to seal them in. His anger surged; how dare she! But at that moment the ship tossed with the shock of the tube pulling free and they were thrown hard into the wall.
Kaidan's head reeled as he pulled free from Tali and staggered to his feet. Some distant part of his brain still operating on logic realised that if she hadn't closed that door they might have been knocked out into space, but he ignored the thought; the clamouring panic to find Shepard overrode everything.
"Commander, can you hear me?" He tried the comms and the panicked beating of his heart grew faster when she didn't respond. "Shepard?" Still nothing. He glanced up at the camera in the corner of the room. "Joker, where is she? Can you get a read on her" The airlock door had no window, but he reeled towards it anyway and slammed a hand uselessly into the thick metal. "Is she okay?"
Jesus, Shepard! Be okay. Be okay. I can't do this without you. Not again.
"Hang on, Major. I need to disengage from this docking tube before it rips the side of my ship off." Joker sounded panicked, but Kaidan ignored the tone.
There was a deep thrumming as the docking clamps disengaged and the Normandy pulled free with several scraping clunks as debris hit the ship.
"Shepard? Can you hear me? Gina?" Kaidan paced with his heart in his mouth, fear clouding his vision. "Gina?"
Not again. Not again. Please God, not again.
Tali got to her feet and braced a hand on the wall as though winded. "Admiral Xen?" She tried her own radio to no avail. "Admiral Xen, can you hear me?"
Suddenly there was a crackle of static and voices burst over the comm all at once, a jumbled confusion of sound and distortion that made no sense.
"I'm fine … bloody …. tube … Admiral Xen is … like nothing I've ever … read me?" Gina's voice, breathless and tight, came through in quick snatches.
At the same time Admiral Xen could be heard trying to talk over her. "Small suit rupture … sealed … serious … find another … Commander … Tali?"
The clamouring voices coupled with the squeals and static made it impossible to hear properly, but Kaidan sagged with relief, light headed as the adrenalin rush faded and his legs went weak.
Shepard was alive.
She was stuck somewhere out in the dark of space, but she was alive.
"We're having trouble making you out Commander, can you repeat that?" Joker, sounding relieved, spoke before he could, and a flash of anger shot through Kaidan; he should have been the one asking that question. Not Joker.
Never Joker.
Not after what he'd done to her.
He fought down the irrational anger with difficulty and straightened, taking in a deep breath and listening hard as silence stretched.
"I said," Gina's voice was clearer when it came back over the comm. "I'm fine, but the bloody tube clipped my suit and I've lost both my guns. Admiral Xen managed to make it over here as the tube collapsed. We're inside the geth ship now and it's like nothing I've ever seen. Is everyone alright over there? Can you read me?"
"We read you, Shepard." Kaidan placed his hand back on the door, wishing he had the ability teleport over there right now and hold her close. His heart was still hammering hard. "It's good hear your voice."
There was a small intake of breath. "Yours too, Kaidan." The tinge of vulnerability in her tone let him know how scared she'd been, but it was gone when she spoke again. "Admiral Xen had a suit ruptured but she's sealed it and says it isn't serious as it occurred in vacuum. Can Tali guide Joker to another docking tube?"
"I'm already on it, Shepard." True to her word Tali had her omni-tool open and was uploading data to the Normandy so fast her fingers were a blur. "We'll be there soon, just sit tight."
"Don't worry; we will." Gina sounded amused. "It's not like we have anywhere else to go."
Kaidan leaned against the door as Joker shifted to the new coordinates. All he could think about was how close he'd come to losing Gina to the black of space again; and all because the damned Admiral hadn't been able to wait another few seconds for her to make it to the other side. The thought of what might have happened made him sick to his stomach, but he pulled himself together with a small shake; nothing had happened, Gina was fine, and right now he needed to be strong for her.
Because as brave as she sounded, she was currently stuck on a Geth dreadnought full of hostile synthetics, completely unarmed, and with only a creepy quarian Admiral for backup.
He wouldn't have wished that situation on his worst enemy.
A/N – And so begins my slow slide into a diverging canon! :D I hope you enjoy where this goes!