We learn a little more about what happened to Mer, I still haven't quite figured out how I am going to get rid of Mark yet.

"Is that why because i bring you coffee?" Derek said teasingly, Meredith basks in feeling his arms around her, knowing that they won't be disturbed by doctors or nurses. Meredith looks up and kisses Derek gently, Derek took the coffee out of her hands, before wrapping his arms tighter around her, and Derek parts his lips slightly, giving Meredith a chance to deepen the kiss. Derek runs his fingers through her hair, moaning slightly.

Meredith only pulls away only when the need to air becomes great. They rest their forehead together and look into each other eyes, the mirrors of each other, all the love that they felt for each other reflected in their eyes.

"I have been waiting two months to kiss you like that" Meredith told him.

"I know....me too" Meredith reassured him.

"I was so scared i lost you, when Susanna said she couldn't find you, it felt like my whole world stopped, that it was falling apart" Derek was honest with her.

"I am so sorry i made you feel like that"

"Mer, I need to ask you something only if you feel up to it" Meredith nods her head.

"Why didn't you get the bodyguard? You promised me, you would" Derek asked her gently.

"I did, Derek, but that day i had no plans to go out and since the apartment was in your sisters name, i knew he wouldn't be able to find me, i was unpacking but i was missing my high school graduation photo, it was the last photo i had of me and my parents before they died, how stupid of me, Mark should have been at work, without even knowing that i was in the house" Meredith hold him, holding him tighter, as the tears came. She was so scared that he was going to walk away from her.

"Meredith, that understandable, but you should have taken him with you" Derek told her careful not to reproach her.

"I know, i am so sorry"

"Mer, it is not your fault" Derek said, placing his hand under her chin, and lifting her head up so she could look at him.

"Listen to me, i don't blame you, if i blame anyone it is that bastard, okay?"

"Derek...?"

"Okay?"

"Okay" Mer nodded giving him a small smile.

"Meredith, i need to know something?"

"You can ask whatever you want" Meredith told him

"You promised me that you would get a bodyguard. Why didn't you?"

"I did Derek, but that day i told him that i didn't need him, the apartment was in your sisters names, i knew that there was no way he could find me, so i gave David the day off. I was unpacking and missing was a photo of me and parents on my high school graduations, it was the last photo i had taken of me and parents, i know i was stupid to go to the house on my own..."

"But you couldn't help it..."

"It was mid afternoon, Mark should have been a work and he was...i was only there for five minutes, Derek, i had just reached the bottom step when he came in and locked me in" Meredith says, the tears running down her face, Derek holds her closer and kisses her so gently, a kiss that was full of love.

"Mer, you do not need to go through any of this, i promise"

"I need to Derek, just promise me one thing"

"Anything"

"Promise me you won't leave me?"

"Meredith Ellis Grey, i love you more than anything, and i cannot imagine my life without you, i am not going anywhere i promise you"

"I know but i need to do this now Derek while i am brave enough to tell you" Meredith says with a small smile.

"Okay, what happened?" Derek asked her gently.

"I had just reached the bottom of the stairs when he walked in and locked the door. Before i knew it slapped me hard and i went flying, i was so scared that i wouldn't see you again. I started to retreat into myself like i use to but then i remembered that i had to try and protect our child, i didn't want him taking another child away from me and especially our child" Meredith says sobbing, Derek repositions himself so he can comfort her, letting her cry in his arms.

"He pushed me down the stairs about four years ago, i was pregnant"

"Oh, Mer" Derek kissed her gently on the top of her.

"When i first found out that i was pregnant i knew i was going to have an abortion, it was the only way i could protect him, and I couldn't bring a baby into this world when I was living with Mark, but i couldn't go through with it, i decided to leave Mark. He came home from the office early, and found me packing, and we got into a huge fight. When i told him i was pregnant, the fight got worse, as i reached the top of the stairs, he came after me, pulling and pushing me, and pushed me down the stairs" Meredith got out before crying even harder. Derek wanted to kill the bastard. "I tried so hard to protect our baby, Derek"

"Sshh...Meredith it is not your fault...you need to stop blaming yourself"

"Yeah...but if i didn't go back to the house, for a damn photograph, i wouldn't have lost our child"

"Mer...stop...i love you" Derek lifts Meredith up onto his lap, careful of her plastered leg, and Meredith clung to him, crying and while Derek just held her. Once Meredith calmed down, Derek carried her into their bedroom, and laid her on the bed, before climbing in next to her, holding her close, and tightly until she fell asleep in his arms.

"I love you Meredith, and i am so sorry for everything" He said gently pushing her hair behind her ears, and kissed her gently.