Josh entered his hotel room quietly. The opera had seemed never-ending. A couple of telephone calls and one snatched meeting in the opera house kitchens had provided his only escape from it. Donna had been entranced from the first note and he only suffered listening to her talk about it all the way back to the hotel because she had let him sleep through the whole of the last act.

He yawned and stretched and then walked to the door to Sam's room. He listened for a while before tapping softly. After a few moments he carefully opened the door and tiptoed over to the bed. He stood and watched as the comforter dipped and rose with Sam's breathing. Satisfied that Sam was sleeping well, he returned to his room and quickly drifted into a sleep as deep as Sam's.

The following morning Sam assured Toby he was fine. He had seemed fine during breakfast and during the journey to the car plant. It was only during the President's speech that Toby realised it had been a while since he had seen him. He realised this at around the same time as CJ and Josh and they found themselves in an impromptu gathering. Toby listened to the speech and announced they had around twenty minutes before it would be time to go. CJ set off to look around the plant, Josh headed for the motorcade and Toby went in the opposite direction around the back.

Toby thought about why Sam might have disappeared. It had been intolerably hot inside and the demonstrations organised for the President's visit had not helped. He didn't think heat alone would cause Sam to go beyond the area directly outside. Maybe it had been the sounds of the cars? Toby thought about the revving engines and wondered if that had caused some sort of flashback. With that thought he hurried his step and tried Sam's cell again. The back of the large building was almost entirely in shade and Toby went in that direction assuming Sam would have done the same. He was not disappointed. Sam was sitting on the floor leaning against a stack of tyres. His suit jacket was on the floor along with his phone and a copy of the speech the President was delivering in the building behind them. Toby quickly phoned Josh, said 'found him' and hung up.

Sam's head was bent downwards and his elbows resting on his knees. Toby called his name as he approached but Sam's head just dipped lower. "We were looking for you."

"Well you found me."

"Yeah. The speech is nearly over, we should get going."

Toby frowned and turned so he could get a clearer look at Sam. His eyes were red, which was the only colour on his face. Even his brilliant blue eyes seemed to have lost their hue. His hands were clasped tightly in a useless attempt to stop their shaking. "Sam, we need to get going."

"You go. I'm going to stay here. I like it here."

"What's not to like," Toby replied of the nondescript, tarmacked area surrounded by tyres.

Sam laughed gently and let his head fall back against the wall. "I can't go back because I really don't think I can take another step right now."

"I'm not surprised you're beat. You've done good these past few days. There've been a few issues but nothing we couldn't cope with."

"You, Josh, CJ…there's nothing you wouldn't do to help me and I know that and it means more than any of you will ever realise. I just…I can't…" Sam's head ducked down and when he lifted it he looked directly at Toby. "I can't do it anymore, Toby." Sam's expression showed his frustration at his inability to verbalise his thoughts.

"Let's just go back to the hotel. You can rest up and then tomorrow when we're back home we can talk more about-"

"Shut up! Please, I'm sorry, but please just stop talking and listen to me."

Toby's knees protested audibly as he crouched down in front of him. "No, Sam, I'm sorry. Go on," he encouraged him.

"I don't think I should go back to DC?"

"Why not?"

"I don't want to go back to DC."

"Why not?"

"I'm trying to please everyone and it takes too much out of me, too much away from me. I need-"

"What? What do you need, Sam?"

"I need to go home."

"You want to stay in California?"

"Yeah." Sam relaxed and blew out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising." Toby stretched his legs out in front of him and Sam did the same. They could hear the outriders' sirens as the motorcade started to leave. Toby's phone started to ring and he knew before looking at the screen that it would be Josh. CJ was holding a briefing at the plant and he assumed Josh had stayed as well. He didn't tell Josh where he was but told him to phone when CJ was finished. Hanging up quickly he turned his attention back to Sam.

"This is just a temporary thing, right?"

"I think so."

Toby frowned and ran his finger along his forehead. "Are you thinking you might not come back at all?"

"No, that's not it, I just need some time." Sam closed his eyes and let his head rest against the wall.

Toby desperately wanted to push Sam and make him promise he'd come back to the White House but he knew that wasn't fair. "Whatever you need, Sam, you know that, whatever you need."

Sam nodded slowly and let out another long sigh. "Was that Jack on the phone?"

"Who?"

"Just then, was it Josh?"

"Yeah, it was Josh." Toby was frowning again. He took a good look at Sam and decided he should get him back to the car. He stood and held out his hand. Sam took it gratefully.

"I can't remember where we are," he admitted quietly once he had found his balance.

"That might not be a brain injury thing," Toby said as he guided Sam forwards, "remember on the campaign when you spent two days in Chicago thinking we were in Pittsburgh?"

A small, tired smile crossed Sam's face. "None of us knew where we were on the campaign."

"True," Toby admitted. They had reached the cars and he put Sam in one and then phoned Josh and told him he was taking Sam back to the hotel. For the second time that day he hung up on Josh, ending his protests, and focused his attention on Sam.

Sam had slept for the rest of the afternoon and now woke to find CJ and Josh standing by his bed and Toby sitting on the end of it. "Am I dying?" he asked, "because if I am, I might need a bit of time to think up some pithy last words."

"You're eating," CJ clarified.

Sam looked beyond her to see a trolley with four meals on it. He pushed the comforter back and went to wash his face. When he returned his bed had been made and Josh was sitting on it already tucking into a burger. CJ and Toby had pulled seats up and Sam picked up his plate and sat on the edge of the bed. He pointed out there was a table in Josh's room but everyone seemed happy where they were.

Sam wasn't sure what Toby had told the others but he judged from Josh's cheerful countenance that he hadn't told them about Sam's plans.

Whilst they ate, Josh told them about a conversation he'd had with a congressman that afternoon and CJ shared a conversation she'd had with Chuck Davy from CNN. Both tales were entertaining and Sam was content to sit and listen as he ate.

As coffee was made, Toby raided the mini-bar. Josh returned to the bed and then turned to Sam. "You had me pretty worried back at the plant. How you feeling now?"

"Like I finally managed to sleep for more than two hours," Sam announced.

"You know, when we get back you could take a few days. I know the trip has-"

"Josh…" Sam started.

"Yeah?"

Toby waited but it was clear Sam had lost his nerve. "Sam isn't coming back," he finished for him.

"What do you mean?" Josh turned back to Sam, "What do you mean you're not coming back?"

"I'm going to stay here. I'm going home, well, to my mom's home, it was my home once so I suppose it's still-"

"What the hell? Where did this come from? You've done great on this trip, and since you came back. You've been coping. You're coping right?" Josh seemed to deflate. "I thought you were coping."

"I was. I am. I just…" Sam looked to Toby to provide his words again but Toby shook his head and forced him to continue. "I need a break from trying to be me, no, that's not…" he stood, "I can see me now. I can see who I was before. I know what I have to get back to now and it makes it harder because I can't always get there."

The sudden gale of laughter that came from the corridor outside only heightened the silence that had descended on the room. Josh walked over to Sam and waited until he had drawn his attention away from his shoes. "Then you go home and you get strong enough to keep trying."

Sam nodded slowly. "I'll come back. I just don't know when."

"That's all I wanted to hear." Josh left the room and Sam looked worriedly at Toby until Josh returned laden with bottles from his mini-bar. They spent the next two hours drinking and talking and Toby was relieved to see Sam looking more relaxed that he had since they had boarded Air Force One.

The following morning there was time for a more leisurely breakfast than usual before the flight back to DC and the four friends sat in companionable silence as they ate and scanned the morning papers. Sam's phone vibrated on the table and he sighed deeply before picking it up. "Hello Mrs Steel. Yeah, thanks for doing this. I'll let you know when I'm coming back. No, I'm fine, I always look pale on the television. Yeah, well I don't think- Well, okay." Sam turned away from the table. "Hi, little man, I hope you're behaving. I'm missing you and I'll see you soon. Hi, thanks, Mrs Steel, I'll speak to you soon." He closed his phone and placed it back on the table.

"Who was that?" Josh asked.

"Mrs Steel."

"No, the 'little man'."

"My nephew."

"Oh." Josh took a bite of toast, then, "You don't have a nephew!"

"No. It's a friend's son, I call him a nephew because he's...like a nephew to me."

"Isn't Mrs Steel the lady who looks after Nickleby?"

Sam knew he was blushing, could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. "Yes she is."

"I thought so." Josh took another bite of toast and then shared a grin with CJ. "Sam, did you just tell your cat that you're missing him?"

CJ took a large bite of a croissant hoping to swallow her laughter along with it.

"Yes, Josh, I just told my cat I miss him. Mrs Steel is an excellent cat sitter but she insists on a telephone call between cat and owner as she believes that-" Sam didn't get to explain what Mrs Steel believed as CJ's laughter finally escaped in a burst of sound that made several guests look over.

Sam picked up his newspaper and shook it straight in a very aggressive way before hiding behind it. By the time Charlie came over to tell them the cars were ready, CJ had composed herself and Sam had lowered the newspaper. They grabbed their bags and walked to the entrance, saying goodbye to Sam one by one. Josh hugged him closely and told him that if he wasn't back in DC soon he'd come and get him.

"I know you will," Sam replied.

Sam watched the cars drive away and waved until the last one turned the corner. He was going to spend another day at the hotel and then go to his mom's. She was on a flight back to California. She'd spent the last week in DC. Leo had taken her to the airport earlier and she'd been surprised to find just how difficult it was becoming to leave him.