A/N: I left Kurt in tears, so here goes! Still don't own Glee, etc.
From last time...
"You don't realize how dangerous someone like Karofsky can be in that situation!"
"That's it! I'm going home – you cannot lock me in a giant pumpkin for safe keeping! What the hell!" And Kurt quickly stormed out, remembering not to slam the door at the last minute. He hadn't made it to his Navigator before he dissolved in a torrent of tears.
Blaine paced in his living room, crying and so frustrated. Kurt had had plenty of time to get home by now, and he'd already sent three texts, and nothing. He wanted to scream, hating himself for messing up with Kurt, and mad at Kurt for not letting him explain. He sent off another text – Please, please let me talk to you! I want to make it right so badly! He tried again to call him, and he didn't pick up. He felt like all the happiness they'd had just minutes ago had disappeared, and he felt like his chest had been shoved, hard.
Lights were still on at home. Kurt had managed to drive home through his tears, which never really stopped, and raced to the side door to let himself in. He opened the door quietly, hoping not to be noticed. Finn must have just gotten in; he was talking to Burt and excited about something. He managed a quick "'night!" and bounded upstairs to his room, closing the door behind him as his cell phone hummed with another text. He threw it onto the overstuffed chair in the corner, and threw himself onto the bed, stifling sobs in his pillow.
"Yeah, we had a great night, sport! Mrs. Anderson even came for coffee after, and I think she had a good time too." Burt was eager to hear from his soon to be stepson all about his night.
"Yeah, well, the game was awesome! Well, you were there, right, so you know it! I can't believe we finally beat them!" He smiled, and admitted, "of course, Coach Sue's plan to discombobulate the other guys was hilarious, but it like, so totally worked! I'm glad she's on our side, I'll tell you! Then Rachel and I went out for sundaes to celebrate, well I had ice cream and she had some weird sherberty vegan stuff, bu t she said it was good, and well, you know, we kissed and all, and that was great."
Burt smiled at the happy teen in front of him. Finn thought Rachel had a monopoly on rambling, not realizing at all how much he could do it if he was really excited. "You didn't run into Kurt while you were out, did you?" Almost on cue, he heard Kurt's hasty goodnight. They both looked towards the stairs, which Kurt had just run up at top speed. Burt nodded his head; Kurt always hugged him good night, and could be counted on to talk to him, unless he was upset about something. "Any idea?" he whispered to Finn.
"Uh, no! Not at all! I mean, he was happy last I saw him, and so was Blaine. Oh! And Blaine was awesome, you should have seen it!"
"Awesome how?" Burt was glad Finn could maybe fill in some details.
"Well, Bob, that ass I was telling you about, started mouthing off to Blaine about him being a f-, you know, and Blaine just stood up to him and called him out – and Coach Beiste was right behind him – literally! – she'd heard the whole thing! And I'm pretty sure Bob is going to be in trouble. Coach gave this great talk saying as how what he'd said was just like using the N word, and that she wouldn't tolerate it! I don't know what happened after that, but that was the last I saw of Blaine, and he was pretty stoked! And, like, I was proud of him!" Finn added.
"Wow. He didn't pick a fight or anything?"
"No, it didn't come to that. Not at all!"
"Okay. Thanks, Finn." They were both a little surprised when the phone rang out. "I got it." He picked up after the second ring. "Hello?" Damn! Again, he hadn't remembered the whole caller I.D. Thing.
"Hello, Mr. Hummel?"
He sighed, recognizing Blaine's voice right away, and said reflexively, "Call me Burt, kid. What's the matter?" He thought he heard a sob on the other end, and couldn't help but look to the ceiling. He waited a moment.
"Thanks, Burt. I'm sorry to call you so late..."
"Kiddo, I already know that Kurt's upset, and you don't sound too good either. Do you want to talk about it?" Part of him wished the answer was no; once again, he didn't know what to say, and just hoped it would come to him when he needed it.
He heard what sounded like Blaine swallowing, before he spoke. "No, ah, sir, I mean Burt! Thank you, but can you tell Kurt just one thing for me?"
"I guess. What is it?"
"Please just tell him to look at my texts, and maybe text me back?" Blaine's voice was almost a whisper.
"I can do that, son. Are you sure that's all?"
"I think so, for now. Thank you, thank you so much!"
"It's okay. Good night, Blaine."
"Good night."
Burt looked at the phone, wondering what could have happened. Call or no call, his plan was the same; time to go talk to his son. He knocked softly on the door. "Kiddo, can I come in?" He waited, as no answer came at first. He was greeted by the sight of his still-crying son, who let him in without speaking a word. Shit! Kurt usually only acted like this if he was too upset to talk!
"Hey, hey, hey," he crooned into his son's hair, as he held him close. "I don't know what this is all about, but shush, it's going to be all right."
Kurt somehow found his voice. "No, it's not! I'm such an idiot, I yelled at Blaine, and I stormed out on him, and he just doesn't get it!"
Burt took in the outburst, not knowing what to say, so he held his son, rocking him in his arms like when he was tiny, and patting his back in a slow rhythm. "It can't be that bad, son. I just talked to him -"
"What did he say?" Kurt had pulled himself away, and gazed straight at his father, studying his face. "He really didn't say much, honest. He sounded awful, just like you! And he just asked me to tell you one thing: please look at your texts, and maybe text him back. But maybe there's something you didn't know about tonight."
Kurt frowned, intent on hearing this. Burt went on. "Finn said something about how one of the guys was awful to Blaine in the locker room, and he handled it really well. I swear, Finn was actually proud of him!" And I was too, Burt mused.
"Wha – what happened?"
"I think you should let him tell you himself, don't you think? You gonna text him back or something?"
"Why would he ..." and Kurt left off, looking upset now again. "Damn! He made me promise, last time, that no matter what, I would always look at his texts (well, unless I was driving). I am such an idiot! I was still so upset with him, and I broke the promise I made! I think I just made it worse -"
"Kurt!" His son looked at him, halted by the sound of his father's tone of command. He was surprised to see a smile break out on his dad's face. "He's a smart guy, that Blaine is. Was this promise his idea?"
Kurt looked down, ashamed. "Yes, it was. He said the worst thing was being shut out. He told me last time that … that when I left when I got upset, it just made things so much worse."
"I gotta agree here. Do you want to talk to me about it, or do you want to just go ahead and keep your promise?"
"Dad, if you don't mind..." Kurt finally looked like he'd regained hope, and sounded a bit better.
"Not at all. Good luck." And he left, quietly shutting the door behind him.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Kurt cursed as he went to retrieve his phone. He closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them to see the display: 2 missed calls, 1 voicemail message, 5 texts. Oh, God. He'd yelled at Blaine, ignored his attempts to contact him, and oh, God. He decided to look at the texts first.
Kurt, please text me when you get home! I want to at least know you got home safe!
Please please … we need to talk. I am so sorry!
I just left you a message. Please do something, I don't know what to do.
Kurt, I'm so sorry I upset you! You mean everything to me! Please please call me, or at least text me.
I know you're mad at me, but this is so hard. I just want to work this out. Please!
He felt worse with each text, picturing Blaine, knowing how desperate he got when he felt cut off. They'd learned last time that their different means of coping with conflict led to lots of mutual pain: Blaine couldn't bear to be away from him if he felt like they needed to talk, and Kurt did what he usually did when he was hurt, withdrawing until he felt like he could deal with it, which only made him feel worse later, knowing how much pain he'd caused. Setting his mouth in a line, knowing it would be painful somehow, he punched in the numbers to hear Blaine's voicemail. "Kurt, please... pick up! … All right, well, maybe at least text me or something … Kurt, I'm so sorry! Please, please – we need to work this out! … okay, I'll just wait." He was right, he felt so much worse. Why did I do that? He'd hurt Blaine way more than was reasonable; he had to admit Blaine was only trying in his own way to do what he thought he had to do.
Kurt hustled to the bathroom; appalled at his appearance, fuck it! He decided it didn't matter; he couldn't fix it fast enough, and … it just didn't matter. He bounded down the stairs. "Dad? Can I go over to Blaine's?"
Burt stifled a smile. Looking like that, kiddo? This guy must mean a hell of a lot, if you don't even care about that! Keeping a level expression, he just said, "Go on. Just drive safe! Pay attention to the road! C'mere." And he gathered him in a tight, quick hug, and noticed his son's bright eyes and hopeful expression. "Did you call him yet?"
Kurt's face fell. "Uh, no, shit! Sorry, dad! I'll let him know..."
He allowed himself a chuckle. "You do that. Don't be too late, son!"
Kurt had already whipped out his phone, and texted, Blaine, I am so sorry! I'm on my way. Please forgive me.
Blaine was startled by the sound of a new text message. Reading it, the oppressive feeling he'd been suffering lifted, and he raced to the bathroom to try to clean up. Giving that up, seeing that his reddened eyes, face, and nose weren't going to look miraculously normal that fast, he checked the time. Five more minutes. He decided to make some more coffee, glad to have a short task to do, and hoping Kurt would be pleased.
He heard Kurt's Navigator pull into his driveway, and was outside before he even knew he'd opened the door, and Kurt was beside him, and in his arms. "Kurt, I'm so sorry … I never wanted to upset you like that -"
"No, no, I shouldn't have left, you were right! And I'm so sorry, I am such an idiot! I let you suffer, and didn't even look at the phone until dad talked to me! And I'd promised -"
He was stopped by Blaine's lips on his own, and he closed his eyes and sunk into the kiss, wondering what he could have found to be mad about. He pulled back as he felt Blaine's renewed sobs, and looked at his tear-stained face. "No, no, don't cry! Oh, god, I am so sorry, Blaine! I did the one thing you can't deal with – I left you alone in the middle of a fight!"
Somehow this made even more tears flow. Shit. I am the worst boyfriend on the planet! Kurt fumed at himself. He was starting to get it, how Blaine's affectionate nature, coupled with a fear of abandonment, had made his boyfriend a wreck. He pulled him back in his arms, and murmured in his ear, "let's go inside; you're shivering out here." The temperature had plummeted a good twenty degrees since sunset, and it was indeed chilly.
Blaine nodded, not hazarding to speak yet, and let them both in. Kurt guided him over to the couch, where he just held Blaine and rocked him in his arms, until he finally relaxed. "You have no idea how much you mean to me, Blaine. I can't believe I did this, and even had to have you call my dad to remind me of my promise to you! I'm so sorry!"
"I … I just panicked. I want you here, even if you're mad at me, I can't stand having this just, hang out there, both of us upset! We can work this out, right?" Kurt's heart melted some more at the for-real puppy eyes Blaine was making at him, probably not even aware what he was doing or how appealing he looked as he did it. He gently closed the small gap between him, kissing each eye, then his nose (which was red and still kind of moist), and finally his lips in a light kiss.
"Yes, you are so worth it. I want you to know that. If I have to get out of my comfort zone, so be it. I'd like to say I'll never do this to you again, but I can be stupid sometimes, I make things bigger than they are, I withdraw, and I see it now, that that's the worst thing I can do to you. I'm so sorry!"
He was rewarded with a huge smile followed by a breath-depriving embrace from Blaine. "Me too."
Kurt decided to start with something more neutral. "You didn't get to tell me what happened in the locker room."
"I was going to, and then … you know" Blaine looked at him apologetically.
"I know. So, tell me now." Kurt's eyes were full of love as he gazed expectantly at Blaine, really wanting to know what had happened, and what had impressed Finn and his dad so much.
Blaine told him every detail, and Kurt laughed at how Bob was caught by his own words, in front of everyone, and that Coach Beiste was clearly not going to allow a repeat of that kind of bullying. "That is so freaking totally awesome! I am so proud of you!" And he looked it; Blaine looked at Kurt's eyes, which were shining and full of love, with a beautiful smile stretched across his whole face. He felt so loved and approved of, and happy that Kurt knew all about it now. He felt enough courage now to ask the question he'd been dreading.
"Can you please tell me exactly what I did wrong? I'm so sorry, and I think that's where we need to start, because," and he faltered a bit here, looking down at his feet, "I'm just not sure... I kind of lost the whole gist of things when you left..."
Kurt returned to feeling ashamed for hurting Blaine the way he had. He paused, but then he thought of it, and knew he knew what to say. Cupping Blaine's chin in his hand so he could look at him again, he started, "I worry about you, that's why. It's like, when it comes to me, you lose your head, and you could get really hurt trying to take on too much" he painfully flashed back to what he knew now about how Blaine would have gone after Rick and two other guys that day he'd gotten hurt, and was only stopped by the need to respond to Kurt's distress first. Or how he'd fought with Karofsky, who had then been joined by Azimio, and how terrified he'd been, seeing him being beaten to unconsciousness by two huge football players. "I think you're more, um, rational, if it's just you, but you aren't careful at all if it's me."
"But Kurt, that's not fair! I can't let them do that to you, you mean too much -"
"And you mean too much to me! Hear me out!" And Blaine stopped to listen. This is where they'd gotten to when Kurt had left in frustration. "I love it that you're my knight, I really do... in a way. But, I'm not that fragile, Blaine. It's true, I'm not physical like you are, at least not usually, but did you ever stop to think that maybe it's a choice?"
Blaine was lost, here, and looked it. "How? What?"
"Non-violence. Passive resistance, like Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi. They want a fight – I don't give them the satisfaction! This ends, you know. High school – despite what the song says, it doesn't last forever! And in the adult world, you don't get to go around throwing slushies and doing locker slams, not without consequences! I fully plan to go to New York, and if someone pulls that crap on me, I'll do what any native New Yorker would do – sue the fucking pants off them!" Kurt smiled at Blaine as he explained his vision.
"Uh, okay... but, Kurt!"
"No, Blaine, meeting violence with violence isn't the way. And you going after those guys, even when you're out-numbered, it's something I can't just let you do. What if Finn hadn't come in when Azimio and Karofsky were all over you!" Blaine's heart sunk, it suddenly looked like Kurt was going to cry. He pulled him into a hug, and just held him. Kurt pulled away to continue. "Blaine, you know this; look what you did tonight in the locker room! I am so proud of you for that – you didn't take his crap, but you also didn't resort to fighting."
Blaine looked conflicted. "Kurt, okay, you've got a point. But what if I feel like I need to, you know, defend you, or us! It could happen, and passive resistance doesn't always work out either!"
Kurt drew his mouth into a straight line, considering for a moment. "How about we compromise? Try to use physical force only as a last resort, can you promise that to me?"
"Do I still get to be your knight?" Blaine's puppy eyes were back to their normal, jokey look.
"As long as I get to be Zelda, I think I can handle that." And the tension seemed to vanish, as they kissed as though getting to enjoy each other's tastes for the first time. When they finally pulled back for a moment, Kurt asked softly, "Mmm... do I smell coffee?"
A/N: In case I confused you... last chapter, Kurt berated Blaine, telling him in no uncertain terms that he wasn't some damned Princess Peach, waiting for Mario to rescue her every time. So, who's this Zelda? Well, in the Legend of Zelda games, (also a Nintendo game series) the protagonist, Link, does indeed have to complete quests, and sometimes also saves Zelda. But Zelda is much more of a match for him in heroism and her abilities than Princess Peach ever is: sometimes wielding weapons, often using powerful magic, and helping Link substantially; in my son's words, she 'gets stuff done'. More importantly, Kurt and Blaine are learning how to fight fair, and deal with conflicts in a way that doesn't hurt them both so much.
Anyway, I'd love to know what you think; this chapter was exhausting to write!
Special thanks to: Selibow, who asked me to include 21 in the last chapter (I later learned why: because this is what age Ryan Murphys said Kurt would be when he got married) so thanks for having me include that bit of fun! BlurtitallOut, your comments and our conversations that follow help my thinking process, and make for a better story (so you all should be thanking her, really, just saying!). Alovestorytoldincupsofcoffee , I'm glad you found us (and you may note that this chapter ends with coffee); mariafbv, loquaciouslauryn, DancingintheRayne, msdarque, and Tristan: I hope now all is forgiven! Next up: Apple Festival!
