Warning:belsa

When she left, I was by myself outside of the campus. I remembered her dress flowing as she walked and just looking at her; I felt my heart skipping a beat. Still, I had this warm feeling inside of me and I asked myself, 'was it wrong to do this?'

The birds chirped, maybe even asking me why I had to do that. Was I being stupid? Too overwhelmed by everything around me? No, I just didn't want Belle to suffer along with me.

I laughed to myself at the lingering sound of her voice, her laugh, her confession. But I didn't regret meeting Belle—I didn't regret breaking up with her.

Did I love her the way I wanted? I didn't know how to answer that, but I knew what I had for her was real.

My hand reached into my pocket and I took out a little black box. It wasn't too long since I brought this.

I smiled, looking at it, fingers caressing the soft, smooth surface. It was such a shame to have me as an owner of this. But someday, I'd have to give it to someone.

"I guess you'll have to wait, hm?" I asked the box, chuckling.

And I wondered... how long I would have to wait for the perfect time. The perfect moment.

I took a deep breath, tightening the tie around my neck as I looked at my own reflection of the window.

With the coffee Olaf brewed for me this morning, I looked out to the blue sky filled with clouds. I took a sip of the warm beverage and a ping of pain in my head erupted. I groaned, rubbing my forehead as I closed my eyes. I shouldn't have drunk so much. But even so, all I ever wanted to get rid of the memories of Anna so I did what I had to do. Slowly I opened my eyes, realizing that these memories of Anna and I would not go away.

"Miss, are you sure you want to go?"

I turned around, seeing Olaf's worrisome expression. "I'm going." Why he was so kind to me, I wouldn't understand. Maybe because he loved me too much—when I didn't deserve this love of his for me. It was overwhelming. Anna didn't deserve me. Hell, even Belle deserved better. All I ever caused was pain. And love was painful.

"But—"

They said that I changed and I had to admit, I did change. Was it wrong for me to want to be a stronger woman, a person that had absolute control with nothing to worry about? Was it wrong for me to... be an adult? Oh, the irony.

"Miss Snow, after everything—"

"Stop." I glared at him, frosty blue eyes giving him chills. He stood up straight, looking at me with firm eyes and I sighed, closing my eyes. There was the pain again. "Do you know where she is right now?" My tone softened.

"No, Miss. I tried to contact her but—"

I raised my hand, stopping him. "That's fine. Thank you, Olaf."

He smiled. "Of course, but I think you should get some rest—"

"No I don't."

"You are putting stress over yourself." He frowned. "Miss, you should listen to me sometime—this is what Miss Smith asked me to do." I ignored him. He was right though, Anna did ask him—commanded him and he said yes. But I did my very best to not think about anything that was associated with her.

I put the cup of coffee down on top of the piano and walked passed him. "It'll give me a distraction," I said and I walked towards the door. I raised my eyebrows. "Are you coming?"

With a slightly exasperated sigh, he followed forcefully. "Yes ma'am."

An hour in as Olaf drove through the road; I looked out to the passing buildings and palm trees flying past us. I looked up to the front and I caught his grey eyes staring at me through the rear mirror before he shifted eyes back to the road. I glared, but staying quiet with the lingering thought of the kiss. Tilting my head, I wondered if he was still thinking about what happened last night. Curious, huh?

I leaned back against my seat and took my phone out. No text or calls from anyone. And there was a little ball of hope inside of me, wanting Anna to talk to me. Where was she now, I wondered. That thought brought a frown upon me. No, was she with that man? Who was he— Wait, red hair... sideburns... freckles... green eyes...

Immediately, I laughed inwardly. There was no way he would be here, I wouldn't believe it. That bitter smile disappeared, knowing that it could be true. He looked the same. The way he talked to her that night and the way she laughed and teased him, it all seemed so believable. But even so, why was he here?

"Olaf."

He turned his head slightly. His smile was warm. "Ma'am."

"How long have you known me for?" I knew the answer, but despite that, I wanted to ask him.

"About seven years, ma'am." I raised my eyebrows. Impressive.

"How long have you been working for me?"

"About four now, Miss."

I nodded, shifting myself to lean my head against the window. "And in those seven years... have you ever despised me for doing certain things? Even now, do you despise me?"

Olaf frowned, confused. He didn't seem too fond of these questions. "Is... there something wrong?"

Waving him off, I gave him my reassurance. "Why don't you answer me first," I said and he cleared his throat. I gave him a moment to think.

"I... despised seeing you in a difficult position but as a person and my boss, I'd have to say I don't, no. My job is to look after you."

I chuckled, crossing my legs. "Doing what the old man told you to do, huh?"

He remained quiet. "Miss—no, Elsa, I'm doing what I want—have to do."

There was silence following after and it brought in discomfort. My expression tightened up and he looked unsteady, but composed. "Olaf..." I leaned forward, elbows rested on my knees. "After what I've done, still you don't despise me?"

He shook his head, a bright smile emerging. "I would never despise you."

"Then how do you feel right now, about me, that is."

Olaf seemed uncomfortable and he bit his lips, looking left to right. For a moment, I wondered if he would tell me his true feelings. It was highly unlikely.

"I... care about you," he said. Oh, but that wasn't what I wanted to hear. How long was he going to keep this away from me? There was no way he could keep his feelings inside forever.

"That's all?" He remained quiet. "Yes ma'am," he said and somehow, I managed to not burst into laughter.

Watching Elsa enter the white building with ease, I leaned against the car. I checked the time. It was already 12PM and the car ride lasted about an hour and a half. Her meeting wouldn't be over until 4 or 5 and I wondered if she could last that long without me. She hadn't even eaten anything at all. So I managed to text her before the meeting started, telling her to grab some food later on when she was hungry.

Five minutes later and she still hadn't replied. Was it starting, already?

I felt my phone vibrate and immediately, thinking that Elsa answered, it wasn't her. I frowned. It was Miss Smith.

"Can we talk? Don't tell Miss Snow."

I started typing immediately, fingers shaking and sweating as I worried immensely about her. "Miss, what's going on? Miss Snow is in a meeting right now, don't worry."

And immediate answer followed. "I'll explain everything later. Meet me in Sunrise Coffee House."

Sunrise Coffee House? It was near. With an 'okay' reply, I quickly got back into the car and drove off.

Miss Smith was already in there with two cups of coffee ready for us.

"Sir, may I help you?"

I shook my head. "She's here," I told the waiter. With a 'yes sir' he silently walked off and Miss Smith was staring at me with a smile, giving me a little wave. I wasn't able to give her the brightest grin because I knew she was just forcing that expression. Oh, she looked tired with those dark eye bags hanging below her eyes.

"Miss Smith."

"Olaf." She smiled.

I sat down across from her and sighed. "How are you?" I asked and she laughed. Of course, I knew that wasn't the right question to start with.

When she was done laughing, she stared at her cup, fingers playing with the rim. "I'm tired," she answered, voice soft and I thought it would crumble into pieces. "How's Elsa?" I wasn't expecting that, but I answered her respectfully and truthfully. But how should I do it? I looked at the brown liquid before me and took a sip. It broke my heart, seeing her watch me as if it would bring her answers.

I breathed out through my nose, turning my head to look outside. I managed a grin and I felt my eyes watering. No, I had to keep myself strong.

"She's not doing too well." A short answer should suffice.

Miss Smith nodded. "I see. Has she gotten any nightmares?"

Surprisingly, I shook my head. "No, Miss Smith. Sometimes, mumbling but nothing too big of an issue." I chewed on my lips. "Elsa was blackout drunk when I came to check up on her." That got her attention and she managed a glare. I got chills for a second there. But she didn't say anything. "Miss Smith, Elsa didn't mean it. She didn't mean to take an advantage of you—she's just... she's just struggling to find her own path."

"You're telling me that I should forgive her?" she asked softly, raising her eyes to me. I smiled, knowingly.

"If it makes both of you feel better, then by all means, please do."

"What do you want me to do Olaf?"

"It is up to you, Miss Smith," I replied. I couldn't decide for her, it was her choice and relationship after all.

She stayed quiet and her expression softened up. "Has she said anything about me?"

"Vaguely, she has... but she wouldn't let us talk about it. Would you like to speak to her?"

Miss Smith shook her head. "No, not now. I'm not ready."

"Whenever you are ready, she'll be ready to apologize."

A light chuckled erupted. "This isn't something that can be fixed with just an apology Olaf."

I understood that, so I smiled with acceptance. "She's willing to do anything, Miss. Maybe you don't believe it, but you really do mean the whole world to her."

"No," she replied, wholeheartedly and I knew, somehow, she was not willing to believe what I said—what Elsa said. "I'm not her whole world. I'm just..." She sighed, leaning back to look up at the ceiling. "I'm just another woman who she likes to fool around with. I'm her plaything."

"Miss Smith, you're not her plaything, she loves you more than anything—"

"More than Belle?"

"Especially more than Belle," I replied quick and solid, and I had to reassure her from all the pain and doubt. It seemed like nothing was really working. And truly, I had to admit, Elsa had created a mess and nothing could be fixed if only Miss Smith choose to forgive or forget. I prayed that one day; Miss Smith would somehow come in contact with Elsa and talk in a civil manner.

We became quiet and I knew she was thinking ever so bitterly.

"Where have you been staying, Miss?" I asked.

"A friend's home," she chuckled. "My real childhood friend's home."

I frowned. "You remembered."

She tapped the side of her forehead, smiling bitterly—like a crazy woman. "Every single detail."

I stayed quiet. It wasn't my place now to tell her to forgive Elsa for keeping this a secret as well. It was something that I promised to keep a secret so that—

"Why did you do it? Why did you keep this away from me?" she asked, leaning back against her seat and I felt myself grow small. Was this how she felt whenever she was with Elsa? Or when Elsa was with Belle?

"Elsa doesn't want you to blame yourself for what you've done—"

"She knows I'm the reason why her arm is fucked up now, right?"

I closed my eyes and I could feel her punching my heart. "Please, it really isn't. Do you blame her for keeping it away from you?"

"Yes."

Gods help me.

"But I'm not angry about her for doing that." Oh thank heavens. I raised my eyebrows. Really now? I was surprised and she was delighted with the memories. "Really, how could a gentle little girl become someone like this? Olaf, enlighten me, please."

"I've told you, Elsa never had a normal childhood before and even after you came into the picture," I smiled and I took a sip of my coffee. "But... there's also something that I haven't told you either." I put down the cup, the glass clinking against the saucer and I played around with the cup nervously. What would she think of me?

Miss Smith looked at me with curious eyes. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath, readying myself. I hadn't spoken of this ever since my talk with Belle a few years ago. Things turned out smoothly and we came into an agreement, but what about now? Miss Smith was angry and bitter, but she held herself up like a strong woman. I hoped things turned out great.

"Ever since high school, I've been following Elsa everywhere, helping her with anything possible... accompanying her with anything that she needed—wanted to do..." I leaned back against my chair, watching the brown liquid quiver around each other until it stilled. "It's a habit now. Wake up at 8, go straight to her home, waiting for her to wake up and if she gets a nightmare, I would shake her awake—even scaring myself to death—and then, I would cook for her. I know that she feels guilty and wants to give me things in return because I've been doing all kinds of things for her sake, but on the outside, she doesn't show it. And I pretend not to know that because..." I chuckled. "Because I'm already so happy to see her smiling so comfortably and it's all I ever wanted. To see her with you."

She frowned, shaking her head. I had to give her a moment and I would understand if she was going to hate me, as well. I deserved it.

"W-Wait... Olaf, are you..."

"She's my first priority, Miss Smith."

"Olaf—"

"Because I love her." There, I said it.

And Miss Smith stayed speechless, eyes widening and I felt hopeless now that it was out in the open. I was scared and shaking all over—I had to hold myself together, wondering if that was how I felt when I told Belle this. Her expression confused me. Was she happy, sad, or angry? Either way, I had to be prepared.

She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Olaf—"

"Miss Smith, I'm only telling you this because I trust you. And yes, I know that I have no chance with her. Despite that, I still want to stay by her side."

Still, she let out a scoff and she shut her eyes. I gave her time to process her thinking. "Okay... I... I really don't know to say, Olaf."

"I know you're angry—" She stopped me, raising her hand.

"N-No, I'm not. I..."She nodded, taking a deep breath to gather herself together. "Yeah... that's... okay. That's fine. Thank you for telling me, Olaf. And... thank you for taking care of her."

I was confused with her reaction. I wasn't expecting that. Belle had the same reaction as her— but she was more... angry as if she knew that I had this feeling for Elsa.

Inwardly, I sighed with relief and I smiled. "My pleasure, Miss."

"But Olaf... Elsa and I... we're not together anymore. You didn't have to tell me."

And that hurt.

"I'd like to get it out of my chest to someone I trust," I replied and quickly I took her hand, squeezing it. How soft. "Miss Smith, perhaps, you'd like to speak with Elsa. Sometimes soon, if it helps."

She was quiet, maybe even considering the offer. But I really hoped that Miss Smith would understand that Elsa really belonged to her—that they belonged to each other. They'd been searching for each other but now, they'd lost their ways. They needed to meet and it was something necessary to fix things up, maybe even just a little bit.

"I'll see," she replied, half heartedly and she looked down to our joined hands. "Once I'm ready... I will. I promise."

And it gave me the greatest joy to hear these words. Even if they weren't the most certain, solid words, there was a chance.

"Thank you, Miss Smith."

I wondered how much whiskey it would take for me to get black out drunk that night. And I was tired, my head leaning against the marble surface of the table. I looked at the wall like it was the most interesting thing ever. My fingers mindless ran around the rim of the glass cup half full of the alcohol.

Hans had told me not to drink before he went back to work, but fuck him. That damned bastard wasn't my boyfriend; I could do whatever I want, whenever I want. I'd rather drink and cloud my minds with stupid thoughts rather than thinking of something much more painful. I chuckled but the pain was still there because I was sober enough to feel the lively thumping of my broken heart.

And somehow, I'd seem to forgotten what time of day it was. The night was bright, stars shining down my back and I felt cold inside and out. I wanted warmth.

But there was no one to hold me dearly now, to keep me warm, and to whisper sweet little nothings to my ear and would make me smile and laugh from ear the ear with love.

What is love anyway?

Love... The idea of love was sweet and beautiful. It'd make someone's heart pound, stomach fluttering with butterflies, but what was this? When did love become so painful all of the sudden?

No, it wasn't love.

And I realized, I'd mistaken loving the idea of her for loving her. I chuckled to myself bitterly, tears falling. And I knew, it'd been a huge mistake to adore her, to love her truly.

I took my phone out and called her for no reason at all. Maybe I was hoping that she'd help me figure out my feelings and I just wanted to talk, but at this state, I wouldn't know what I would even say to her.

She answered immediately.

"Anna."

I sighed, fingers going through my fringes. "Heeey, baby... Snowflake... I miss you..." I slurred.

I heard her breathe shake through the phone.

"Anna, what are you doing?"

I frowned. "Why do you care about what I've been doing, you never cared for the last 15 years!"

"You're drunk..."

I laughed. "Drunk, schmunck, whatever! I feel amazing right now!"

"What the hell are you doing...?" she whispered. "Where are you?"

"At Hans' home, but you probably don't care anyway."

"I care, Anna."

I rolled my eyes. "Hey... you wanna come here, right?"

"Yes."

I told her the address and before I could even say 'I love you' to her, she hanged up. Blurrily, I stared at my phone, listening to the beeps of it. "Rude."

Elsa came up within half an hour, knocking on my door. I didn't think she would come up, really. Thinking that Hans was home, I opened the door, finding Elsa's blue eyes piercing at me with worry.

"Anna..."

I rolled my eyes, walking back to grab a drink. And when I tried taking another huge gulp, she snatched my cup away.

"H-Hey!"

"Anna, stop drinking," she whispered, putting her arms around me. Her voice was tender and patient. I glared at her. "Come... let's go back home—"

"Don't touch me, you liar... monster."

And as I pushed her away from me, she looked so shocked and so scared. But I didn't care. Sooner or later, I had to stand up for myself. This was the moment.

"Anna..."

"You're... one big mistake, Elsa..." I said. "And I fucking hate you for making me feel like this..."

Looking at her made me want to throw up. She looked so pathetic that I wondered if she was the same woman as yesterday, the day before that, and even before that. Her body shook and tears rested on the corner of her eyes. So fucking pathetic.

My eyes were so bitter as I stared at the pathetic girl, I could almost taste it in my mouth.

She stepped back and I stepped towards her until she was leaning against the wall. Wasn't this ridiculous? To see a woman with so much control, looking at me as if I was the one in control? She looked so weak when she was supposed to be so strong.

I had to laugh.

"Home..." I wondered. "Where's home?" I questioned, raising my eyebrows in question. "In your arms?" I laughed again and slowly stopped. I wondered if she thought I was going crazy, but... at this rate, I had to be.

"I don't have a home—a place where I belong..."

"Anna, you do—"

"Elsa..."

We were so close to each other; we could almost hear each other's heart beating, our slowed breathing. Her height used to intimidate me, but now looking up at her was intimidating her. Her eyes feared me. When did we become the opposite of each other? I was curious.

I looked into her eyes and I knew what she was thinking. All these words she wanted to tell me, 'sorry, please forgive me, I didn't mean it, Anna, come back to me, hurt me' it was all revealed within her blue eyes. It was the darkest I'd ever seen.

"Are you happy?" I whispered, fingers coming up to gently caress her cheek, her hair brushing in between. She flinched and she shivered. But she was strong and I was crazy. I smirked on the inside. I knew what she wanted—who she wanted. "Does it satisfy you to see that I'm in this state?"

Her fingers rounded up in a fist and her eyebrows furrowed. She hated the sight of me like this.

I had to give her a gentle grin, loving the sight of her trying to fight back her weakness. I took her hand, pressing it against my chest. She tried pulling back, but I had to be stronger. Her breathing hitched and it slowed when I caressed her hand with my thumb softly. Look at her, so vulnerable in my hand. "Do you know how much it hurts?" Did she realized how much she'd hurt me?

With her head shaking, I couldn't figure out if it was out of fear or if she really didn't know.

"Elsa... Snowflake... it was my fault right?" I stared at her shoulder and I knew under her suit, it ached.

She stayed quiet. Because she knew. She knew it was because of me that she was this fucked up.

I stared at her in silent, in regret and I was desperate for love. I intertwined my fingers with hers and she stared at it as if she was disgusted with my touch. Was she disgusted with my feelings as well?

"Snowflake..." I whispered, leaning in close to her. I knew she wanted to get away from me, turning her head away from me. Not even a single tear. Should I be proud of her? She was someone that was both weak on the inside, but completely made out of steel on the outside.

Leaning against her body, I could feel her warmth.

"Hey... am I worth anything to you?" I asked, ghostly.

Her breath smelled like mint and her eyes were pleading for me. But why? Why look at me with these eyes when I should be the one looking at her like this?

"Am I just a toy to you?" I whispered and I hadn't realized how poison my words seemed to sound to her. But it was incomparable to this ache thumping loudly in my heart. I gritted my teeth, eyes pained but I told myself that I could only help myself and that I was strong. I laughed bitterly. "I'm... just a whore you'd fuck until you're tired and would toss me out? I'm just another one of those women to you, right?"

She looked at me in horror and finally managed to say something. "Anna... don't say things that," she rasped out. I could feel a pinch of anger raging fire inside of her.

"I'm hurt... I can say whatever I want," I said.

"Anna... please..."

"Please? Please what? Please stop it? Please don't? Please have mercy? Why do you get to say that and I don't?"

"Anna—"

"I can say whatever I want now that I'm not in your care. I can even say... I love you... and I won't even mean it," I whispered. My eyes were blank and just letting her stare at me with that rough look was hypnotizing. I grabbed her tie, fingers playing with the thin, smooth cloth.

She took my wrist, gripping hard but I didn't care. I pulled her towards me and her eyes darkened, tears streaming. Longing, yet feared and angered eyes shook and her body was warm. I realized how exhausted she looked, but oh, weren't we both exhausted? With each other?

"What do you want...?" she growled, lowly.

"No, what do you want, Snowflake?" I asked tenderly. She looked down to me and I pressed my forehead against hers, taking her hands in mine. I pressed her body against the wall and her breathing was breaking into pieces.

She didn't know to answer me—more like, she couldn't. I helped her out. "Do you want me?" I asked. She trembled at the four words. She longed for those words.

I caressed her hands. "Elsa... do you love me?"

"Anna..." she whispered.

Looking down to her lips, I was uncontrollable.

Slowly, I leaned in when she still frozen with no answer, eyes softened and colored dark. I pressed my lips with hers and I sighed, recognizing the taste and softness. Her heart was pounding, I could feel it.

And soon, I grabbed her tie, pulling it away from her neck with our lips still together. I loved this feeling of her skin. She quickly got out of my grip and with a low growl; she had her palms around my neck, drawing me in with her cold love. I grabbed her collar, ripping her clothes off only to reveal her naked self. She looked beautiful and she had her arms around me, hands wrapped around my neck as we desperately searched for our love and answer through this kiss.

With a silent giggle, I trailed my lips down to her neck and I heard her groan, head tilting up with acceptance. With my eyes looking at her, she looked at me and I bit her skin, soothing my teeth mark with my tongue. I marked her as mine.

"Anna..." she gasped. "Please..." Her grip around me tightened as I guided my lips down to her shoulder.

Please... Please what? I wondered, continuing until—

"ANNA STOP!" she yelled and I was suddenly pushed away from her. I stared at her in confusion—

Smack.

Huh?

I looked at... the wall in horror and somehow, my cheek was stinging. I touched it. It stung, alright.

My heart pounded, ears ringing along with the pain and the sound of it.

I heard whimpers and I knew who was crying now. Turning my head to see Elsa, looking down at her palm as if she was in pain. And as if she didn't know how to close it, she put her other hand over it, hiding herself away from me. Even still, she wouldn't let me in.

But I realized. What I did to her, it was wrong. Elsa and I... we weren't so different from one another.

Blue eyes looked at me and slowly as I took a step towards her, calling her name, she took a step back.

"E-Elsa... I..." I couldn't say sorry. Because I knew, I didn't deserve this.

She looked at me as if I was the monster, as if I was the pain.

"No... this isn't..." she stammered, fingers in her hair, another trying to cover herself up. "This isn't you... this isn't us..." she whispered and I was scared. "You wouldn't do this..."

I wasn't me and it was true. I regretted this. I shouldn't have done... whatever I'd done.

"This isn't what I wanted... Anna..." And just like that, without a single goodbye or an apology, she left.

I was just staring emptily at the door, listening to the faded sound of her heels running down the hall. My vision blurred with tears of pain and regret. Whatever those words I had kept inside of me for so long... had been out. And I'd hurt her. I pressed my palm on my chest, feeling the shatters of my heart. And with the silence in the house killing me, I whimpered like a dirty dog that needed love.

Slowly, I managed to slide myself down to the floor, weeping my heart out, asking God, why this had to be this way. We'd torn each other into little pieces until we were impossible to glue back so that we'd love each other. We were free from each other but... love?

This wasn't love.

This was anything but.

I was fast and in panic when I walked down the hall and down to the lobby, hurriedly trying to get myself together. Tears continued to flow and I had no idea how to stop it.

Anna was right... I was a liar... a monster... whatever she called me, I was all of it. And I deserved it.

Eyes were staring at me as I ran but I didn't care. Let them stare; give them the attention they needed because this was what I wanted all along right? Attention. There were people who asked if I needed anything—I needed help, they were right. I ignored them. But when I somehow got out of the lobby, I bumped into him.

He hadn't changed a bit.

"E-Elsa? You're Elsa right?"

Except for his... personality.

I looked at him, glaring at him like my worst enemy. He gulped, scared. "W-What's wrong—"

I quickly grabbed his collar and looked at him right in the eyes. I let out a shaky sigh and I took a deep breath. I needed to keep my composure for my sake. For Anna's sake. "Tell me... after all these years, do you still love her?"

He blinked. "W-What..."

"Just answer me... Hans."

"You recognized me?" He seemed surprised with his eyebrows raised. He then frowned, realizing he was staring down at my ruined attire. "What did Anna do?"

I shook my head, swallowing emptily. "Nothing. I just..." I tripped? "Never mind."

He stayed silent and he seemed angry. "I'll go talk to her, she shouldn't be doing something—"

"No... Please." Begging... when did I become this desperate that I had to beg my bully? It was almost laughable. But they were right, I was ridiculous. With a weak sigh, I looked at him. "Just give me your damn answer, do you love her?"

Hans didn't say anything but slowly, he managed to act mighty and high. And I realized, I'd never been those two things.

"Yes I do. I've loved her even before I took over your spot for Anna."

That was not much of a surprise.

I stared at him for a second, remembering his face and I nodded, patting his shoulder. I couldn't stand it anymore, it was just too painful. Too painful to be with her—but we were happy. We loved each other and now that she'd let me go... I had to respect her. I didn't care about my happiness and if she could be happy with Hans, if she ever had feelings for him, I'd accept it. Her happiness was my first priority.

I nodded, giving him a satisfying expression. "Okay..." I whispered. I had to let go now. For both of our sakes. "Then take good care of her. And if I find you hurting her..." Like how I did... "I'm never going to forgive you." My voice had given up on me at the last part and I wondered if he knew I meant it.

And before he could even answer back to me, I got into my car and quickly drove off. I didn't know where I was going and I couldn't go home. I didn't want to face Olaf and become a humiliation to him when I'd been ripped into pieces. My cries remained and it was as painful as ever. It couldn't be as hurtful as Anna's. But she was right. I regretted it. I shouldn't have met her... I shouldn't have let her in... And I really should've listened to Belle.

I didn't know what I was doing.

Before I even knew it, I had to call Belle because everything that she'd done for me, told me... they were truthful... and I gave her my all. She'd let me trust her—

I was about to press the call button but I hesitated. I was going to make another mistake again. I stared at her name. I knew I couldn't continue on like this forever. Whatever Anna needed, I needed it now.

Anna had blinded me and I called Belle in desperate need.

"Elsa?"

I tried choking back my cries, biting my lips. Little whimpers slipped out as I took a deep, long breath. I could hear her breathing as she paused.

"Elsa, are you alright?"

I leaned against the window, looking out to the empty road. "I want to see you," I murmured, my voice cracking. "I need... to see you, Belle..."

She stayed quiet. "Elsa, what's wrong?" she slowly asked with a stiff tone after a while and I wondered... if she really did care for me like how I did with her.

"You were right..." I admitted. "You were right about everything..."

"Elsa... tell me what happened." A pause. "Is it Anna?"

I didn't give her a direct reply, so I continued my sentence.

"You were right... I do regret it. I should've listened to you."

When I arrived to her home, she looked at me with the warmest, comforting eyes that did not match my exhausting, rough blue eyes. "Belle..." I announced, gripping onto my still unbuttoned shirt and she looked at me up and down. And I let her disgust wander.

There were wounds and marks imprinted on my neck and shoulder and she had her eyes already on them.

"What have she—"

"Nothing." She looked up to me. I thought she'd be fallen into a state of disbelief, but... she was already used to me acting this way.

She caressed my cheeks, collecting tears.

"Your clothes... Elsa... you're crying—"

I picked her up in my arms, sighing in comfort and relief as I kissed her. And even though she wanted to know what was wrong, I didn't let her, grunting as I gathered her legs up to my hips, carrying her to the bedroom. She wrapped her arms around me, fingers burrowed in my hair. I plopped her down on the mattress when we were there. I hovered above her. She looked beautiful and vulnerable.

My eyes were rough and she looked at me, her thumb caressing my cheeks, taking away my tears filled with regrets. She looked down, finding my already marked body completely exposed to her. Her eyes darkened to black and suddenly she grabbed my hips, trying to turn me around so that I would be below her but no, I had enough. I grabbed her wrists and put it on top of her head.

She gasped, a bit startled. "Elsa?"

"No," I growled. "Not anymore." Everything's your fault. "You don't get to control me anymore," I said and without a response from her, I bent down to kiss her. I let my tongue have its way on her and she groaned impossibly beautifully. I felt bliss in her arms and I rolled my hips against her.

Quickly I took her clothes off and she looked wonderful—ugly below me. Her heartbeats were fast. Her eyes were wanting... longing for me and I needed someone to look at me like this. Just how like that. Dark and desirable.

Cold eyes caressed her warmth and she opened her arms to me. I smiled.

"Elsa..." I was naked on top of her, hips rolling at her as I laid myself down. She hugged me, letting my kiss her ear, biting her redden skin. "It's okay Elsa..." I grabbed her arms to still her but she forced it out of my grip. Belle hugged me with her soothing fingers. I couldn't get enough and I wanted her. She drew little circles and I was kissing, biting and licking her. I was crying on her.

"You're okay, Elsa..." she whispered. "You're okay."