"I'm going to look around at all the flowers, and look up at the hectic trees. I am going to close my eyes and listen."^
Prequel: The Beginning Of Love (I)
Blooming gardens provide a backdrop to all breathtaking sceneries.
Beautiful drive ways heading to thousands of natural rendezvous are savoured in sweet scent of blossom.
Almost half of world's apples are produced here, along with apricots, plums, cherries and pears.
This is Papunika, kingdom of the most sophisticated, the most elegant.
Its North River locates one of the nation's oldest bridges and is where visitors can stroll through acres of blooming peonies for an amazing garden trail.
Marm, together with all friends, is having a delightful party here, by the peaceful riverside.
Such a wonderful place.
Such a wonderful weather.
Such a... supposed-to-be wonderful night.
Under the starry sky, looking at an engagement ring in her slender finger, she feels lost.
Three hours ago, this place was filled with beautiful sunset colors. Menruru and herself still had no idea of what was going on when a huge group of friends greeting them once they stepped in the party area.
And Pop showed up in front of both of them. On his knee, he proposed.
Perhaps he said "Menru, Marm, will you marry me?", perhaps it was "Marm, will you marry me?"
Marm doesn't remember that part clearly.
She remembers Menruru said Yes and seeing Pop and Menru hugging each other. She remembers the group of friends excitedly cheered them up. She remembers all eyed on her and the atmosphere changed to a slightly awkward one, all were waiting for her response, all were expecting a Yes. She remembers seeing how hopeful Pop was. She remembers seeing Hyunkel among the crowd and his eyes showed no special emotions. Next to him was Emmi.
And she remembers she said Yes.
The party has been going on for hours. It seems to her that Hyunkel drinks more than usual. What is he talking to Larhalt? Marm wonders. Sometimes Emmi is by his side, they look happy being together. Of course, they make a good couple.
...
Wine is making me more outspoken. It's good that everyone has settled down, eventually.
"Bottoms up, Hyunkel!"
"Ok..."
What is Larhalt talking to me? What am I answering him? Whatever.
...
Leona has already fallen asleep inside the bungalow. Menru, Pop and others are still drinking with Marm. She hears friends talking about her upcoming marriage, which is scary. Uncontrollably, she sneaks a look at Hyunkel.
There is nothing special from him. He only takes a sip of wine when catching the look in her eyes.
Wedding? Soon they will have one. Why does she look passive for the whole night? I am far from being happy. I have been avoiding the heart pain. But why is it still this hurtful?
...
The stars are shining down and the night turns into its complete silence. Everyone has been asleep, both indoor and outdoor. Having a tough time, Marm decides to take a walk and bring blankets to people who are at outdoor areas. Temperature at riverside will reduce when the night falls deeper.
Crocodile, Hym (does he need a blanket?), Chiu, Pop, Larhalt, Nova, Lonberk, Apolo, Akim, Matoriv, Bradat...
Where is he?
Marm walks past their bungalow to look for Hyunkel.
It's not difficult to find him. He is sleeping on the lawn, a few steps away from the gate.
Once seeing him, the wind seems to be more tender, the night seems to be more peaceful and for the first time since this party's ever started, she gets her balance back.
Marm would like to explore all feelings that are held in between of him and her.
For she has no more time. Once tomorrow comes, she should focus her feeling on another person.
"Marm, there are two kinds of love, the one you give to everybody and the one you keep for yourself."
She remembers the definition of love that he explained to her once.
That's your idea about love, how sweet. Marm gently puts the blanket on Hyunkel, smiles at him and murmurs, "Can I give you that personal love of mine?"
"What are you saying? Isn't your personal love given to Pop?"
His voice freaks her out. She catches his eyes and they are serious, he doesn't look like he is drunk at all.
"I... I..."
Speechless.
Marm is not someone who is quick at changing topics. She looks away and weakly replies, "I thought you are sleeping. Were you pretending to be asleep?"
"I don't pretend anything, Marm." He gets up.
The way he calls her name is breathtaking for her.
But he is not aware of it. He continues the conversation with his deep and warm voice. "We seldom have any private time."
"I have wanted to talk to you for so many times, but I never had any chances."
He chuckles after hearing her reply. That surprises Marm because he never acts this way.
And to her next surprise, he wraps his arms around her shoulder, pulling her into to him, so close that Marm can feel his warm breath next to her ear, and the heat of his body transfers to hers. Marm's heart is pounding crazily.
"You the foolish. I have been by your side the most I can and now you conclude you never had any chance? I wonder how can Emmi make it several times ... a day to meet me?" He laughs. As if he is mimicking Marm.
"I'm not Emmi san. I..."
"Are you too innocent or am I never your concern?"
"Don't get angry at me..." Marm's voice turn soft.
"That's why it's so hurtful." He realises.
His conclusion stuns her.
"I have been hiding such pains in my heart. Because that is not something I want to be distracted by during the battle. But today, you should know that it hurts my heart to see Pop and you... This is the truth." He holds her more tightly and pulls Marm into his chest. Marm can feel strength from each of his fingers.
"Do you think... you are jealous with Pop?"
"Foolish."
"What foolish? You've never talked to me this way before. Why..." Marm looks at him with a temper. Her body is heated by the tightness of his embrace. No men has ever done this to her without being beaten. But now when it's Hyunkel, she is melted by his touch.
"Is it your innocence or your ignorance that blocks your eyesight, so you don't realise how much I concern about you? I will give that culprit a prize."
"I never ignore your care and I know you love me as a friend, probably a close friend. I'm just a normal girl, what else should I expect from your concern?"
"You consider yourself a normal girl? Look here."
She looks at him, willingly.
"What about this beautiful face and sensuous body? They drive me crazy. You attract people easily by your physical appeals."
"Hyunkel... don't say something like this." Her cheeks turn red. She weakly covers her breasts although she knows it's of no use. His eyes are still on them.
And he looks at her, looks into her eyes that he falls in love with. The wind breezes slightly, moves her hair and its lovely scent to his sense. He really wants to touch her more.
"Sure...Forget your look." He gives in. "I see all of them clearly - your courage, your pure heart, your intelligence, independence, vulnerability and even your foolishness. I don't know why can I feel you but not anyone else? What is this if it's not the love I have for you."
"You are drunk." Marm tells him softly. "When you awake, you will forget this conversation."
She never ignores a fact that he has a girlfriend and it's Emmi.
That's why he must be drunk.
"I can't make you happy, but it's good to see happiness coming from your smile thanks to Pop. When you took his proposal, I know that's the way it should be. You will keep smiling and I love it." Hyunkel still holds her in his lab, spreading his words into her ears with a warm, soft voice that only she can hear.
"Yes, I know." - You can't you make me happy because you have already loved Emmi. There is no more space for me.
Such a fact saddens Marm the most when it's confirmed by him.
He only looks at her without saying anything anymore.
"Except it's true that you can't make me happy, the rest are alcohol talking." Marm says.
"They are not."
"Let's see if you will rememeber anything when you get up tomorrow morning."
"I will." He nods. "And for now..."
Marm eyes on him nervously.
"Go to sleep, sweetheart." He smiles, stroking her hair and getting her laid down on the lawn, covering her with the blanket she brought for him.
"Hyunkel, you want us to sleep together?" Marm looks at him.
This is going to be crazy. Everyone will catch them the next morning.
Marm can walk him to the garden where other guys are sleeping. Marm can come back to the bungalow and have a warm sleep on the comfortable bed.
But she wants to be drunk just like him. So it will become an excuse to stay here.
Marm willingly lets him lean in her, his strong arms wrap around her, giving her the warmth and security. Marm feels the heartbeats of him and the firmness of his muscles, the heat of his skin.
"I lose my mind because of you." She whispers.
"It's ok to lose your mind sometimes." Hyunkel says. He can't talk more, he is already too sleepy.
And he falls asleep, hugging her entirely.
In his embrace, Marm moves slightly, trying to reach his lips.
The first kiss given to him tastes nice enough for an inexperienced her.
Good night, Hyunkel.
Marm hides her face in his chest, swallowing every piece of him into her memory.
I hope you will tell me all these when you are not drunk. But even for now, I'm happy to take what you said tonight. At least you have looked at me the way a man looks at a woman. I'm glad you are not only taking me as a friend.
Marm eyes on the ring in her finger. This little item has such a strong power to make her become another person.
That's it, I'm going to be a married woman. I wish I don't have this ring.
Making sure he is kept warm in the blanket, she gets up and looks at him for one more time. Hyunkel is so good looking when he is sleeping. He will always cast sunshine on her. He will forever be a beautiful love in her heart.
And Marm hesitantly leaves him here, heading back to the bungalow.
The night is still very gentle to her, she knows she is supposed to be happy, because as Hyunkel has already said, he loves seeing her smile.
End of The Beginning Of Love (I)
Note:
^Quoted from Anne Lamott