A Dragon of the COG

by thehappy

Mira Erza and Natsu head out on their very first job as a team, but things go horribly wrong. Making Happy take a badly wounded Erza and Mira away from the battle, Natsu continues to fight on alone. This is a Gears/Fairy Tail crossover. This story contains action, fighting, swearing, gore sex and war. If this offends you you have been warned Natsux large harem

37. The Trials (Part One)

Well! Here I am with another chapter from what many of my faithful readers say is an amazing story! Now this will be dealing with Zeref, the trials…and…really, no idea where I could go with this chapter! But I'll continue to write a compelling story for you all to enjoy!

I still don't own any type of media, anime, or anything in between!

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Chapter 37: The Trials (Part one)

The guild was stunned into silence as the man stood in the doorway, sunlight pouring in from behind as Mavis slowly climbed down from the table. She had spent countless days and time watching her love, even though he could never see her.

"Z…Zeref…" she uttered as Makarov and the remaining members heard her soft words.

"Tha…THAT'S ZEREF!?" Sue shouted out before hiding behind Glenn, the man shielding her as the other members readied themselves for a fight.

"Bro…what's the plan?" The Gear asked his squad-mate as Natsu held up a hand.

"Nobody move toward him, stay right where you are" the man instructed before looking back at his brother.

"I…" The blast wave of killing magic rocked the hall, turning several plants into withered and blacked vines as the deadly spell finally ran out mere feet from Juvia. She gulped heavily before she took another cautionary step backward toward Bisca and Cana. "This isn't a threat like the locust where Juvia can use her water body….this…this is something else…"

"I..I'm sorry…please…the other Natsu said you can help me control my magic…to lift this curse…please brother…"

"Just…don't move right now" He told the long lost sibling as the ghost of Mavis ran up to him.

"Please! You have to help him! He never wanted to be like that!" she asked, her blonde hair cascading down her back as she brought herself eye level with Natsu. Looking into her pleading eyes as the guild stayed silent, Natsu could see the love and worry she felt for Zeref. The same kind many of his girls displayed when he came home bloody or wounded from some sort of battle. Letting out a sigh, he ran a hand through his messy, salmon hair before glancing at Makarov.

"I think we should postpone the trails for today"

"That would be for the best I believe" the old master replied before casting a glance at the definition of evil in his hall. "To be honest however…he's already leagues better than the locust and other monstrosities in the multiverse. And he is Natsu's own brother. Hopefully that same goodness runs in the family…"

"So, what should we do? We can't keep him here in a crowded city of over a hundred twenty thousand" Mira asked her friends and family in the hall.

'I know" Levy replied as she stepped forward, a portal gun in her hand.

"Lev? Are you thinking…"

"Yup. It's the only place his damn magic won't kick off randomly, but dammit…I really was looking forward to the trials today! Now I have to cure an immortal mage!" She yelled before inputting some new co-ordinates. Springing forth, a swirling mass of blues and purples erupted into the hall as the short woman marched forward, annoyance in her eyes. Grabbing the hand of Zeref, she didn't show an ounce of fear for touching the dark mage.

"GREAT! Now I have to find some fucking cure for some sleeping jackass! And then I ha…" her rant was cut off as she pulled him into the portal, the crazy scientist and mage gone from the guild in seconds as Meredy looked up at a slightly shaken Lucy.

"Should we go after her? I mean, she's with Zeref…"

"It's better to leave Levy alone when she's like this. We'd just make her mad and get in her way" the blonde mage told the new member before glancing at Natsu.

"Well? Aren't you going to go talk with him or something!?" she yelled as the male brushed a hand through the air.

"Fine…but only because the others will get on my case too" he grimaced as several of his females nodded in agreement.

"Got that right. Now get out of here and talk with him…I'll just drink…or something" Sam mentioned as Gildarts scowled at the bar.

"Damn…and I wanted to see my baby girl win the title. Guess I'll just look at porno mags" He told nobody as he pulled the material out of a back pocket.

"AH! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!?" Evergreen shouted as she saw the front cover with her and Lucy…topless. She had been positive she and Lucy destroyed all those months ago.

"I…found it…" "thank you Natsu for this wonderful gift!" the crash mage internally smirked while flipping to the first page. It displayed Evergreen in nothing at all except a purple tube top…and glasses while leaning against a bookcase. Smiling perversely as he ogled the picture, Gildarts continued to flip pages.

"You really are a dirty man!" Cana shouted at the crash mage as Natsu sighed. "Better get going before a fight breaks out…those take forever to calm down" he muttered before glancing at Hisui. "I'll keep you updated. I'm sure the queen of this country has…concerns about Zeref in her boyfriend's hometown"

'Please do…and dammit…now I have to go to another meeting"

"That doesn't sound too bad" Natsumi said from nearby as the greenette groaned.

"It's about farm production and crops…I know its important…but the minister of agriculture just drones on…and on….and on…" she told her friends before an idea came to mind. "Say…would any of you want my job for the-..." she asked several of her female friends as they all turned and walked away.

"Nope"

"Nada"

"I'm busy watching paint dry"

"I'm already drunk"

"I just decided I'm a lesbian"

"I'm gonna be a lesbian with Sam"

"I have to build a boat at the airport"

"I need to buy pointless, girly clothes"

"I'm cooking a toaster in the microwave"

Seeing them all leave with horrible excuses…Hisui gave a groan as she trudged to the guild doors, her eyes already heavy with boredom.

"Shit…I'll have to do that when I'm king…" Natsu muttered once more as the queen left, the man already typing in the new co-ordinates on the portal gun.

Universe 1000-A. Levy's lab

Natsu emerged to find Zeref sitting on a chair, looking at his hands in an odd manner as Levy ranted and raved in the bathroom, her yells echoing from under the door.

"You alright?"

"Yes…just most people would run screaming from me…and that woman just grabs me and pulls me...here? What is this place Natsu? And why can't I feel any magic?"

"This universe has zero magic. None. I couldn't light a finger to start a cigar right now even if my life depended on it. And I'm sure you've noticed your own lack of magic too?"

'I…I have. It's a wonderful feeling. Do you mind if I go outside and enjoy the scenery?"

"You won't find much. This is a world that bathed in nuclear fire with humanity a shell of its former self. There are some nasty monsters out there…monsters you can't kill now without the right tools"

"I see. Well Natsu, what do you think…um…"

"Levy"

"Yes. What do you think she can do?" Zeref asked, the small ember of hope starting to be known in his heart. Snapping his head to the sound of a door opening, the two men could see Levy walking toward her refrigerator. Grabbing a watermelon nuka-cola, she drank the chilled soft drink with gusto while flinging the spent cap into the nearby container.

"I'll try to find a way to regulate your magic so you don't randomly kill people anymore, but I'm gonna need some help on this…some Levy help" she simply told her boyfriend before walking through another portal moments later.

"Is she always like that?"

"Eh…depends on the day. Some she's super horny, others she wants to kill mutants or build something. I think today will see at least two of those moods" Natsu commented as he leaned back in the recliner. Silence permeated the air for stifling minutes, the two not really sure how to talk to each other as minutes ticked by.

"So…how did you get that scar?"

"I knew you were going to ask that" Natsu said with a grunt as he closed his eyes. 'It's a long story of war and genocide…death and carnage"

"We have nothing but time" Zeref told his younger sibling as Natsu sighed.

"It all started when I was fourteen years old…"

Universe 129-G. Fairy Tail.

The guild was laughing and rowdy, full of life and happiness as the large family of mages enjoyed another day of peace. Most of the mages were there, talking and joking with each other as Mira and Lisanna served meals and drinks while Kinana manned the bar…and to keep a certain lush away from the inventory.

Erza was enjoying her cheesecake, stealing glances at Natsu every now and then as the man sat with two of his girlfriends at a nearby table.

"So Natsu! How did you finally land such beauties?" Gildarts asked with a grin, hoping for some saucy details as Lucy glanced at her boyfriend.

"Natsu…if you share anything we do in the bedroom to the perverts, I'll set your house on fire" She said with a menacing glare.

"Hmmm….but I can eat the fire so it wouldn't really be a big deal, right?"

Lucy was about to retort when a spinning vortex sprang into existence in the hall. Stepping forward was McGarden, her larger chest giving a slight heave as she found her target.

"Hey. I need your help with something" she told Levy as the bustier woman stood before the table.

"You do? But with what?" Levy asked a little nervously. To be honest, this other her was slightly intimidating.

"WOW! She's got great tits!" Gildarts shouted out before Cana slapped him upside the head with an angry glare. "Don't be an idiot!"

Ignoring the two even as Natsu walked up with Grey and Gajeel, the three males had a hint of concern in their eyes.

'McGarden? Is everything alright?"

"Well the trials were interrupted because Zeref showed up in our guild hall…shouting something about a pink haired little brother…you wouldn't know about that…would you?" She asked with a menacing glare.

"He's in your hall right now! But Acnologia will head to…" Gajeel started to shout before she held up her hand.

"Relax. We killed that fucker with nuclear fire and butchered the dark mages of Grimoire Heart. We did accept Meredy into the guild too while Ultear is on the council, so our trials are good to go"

'You…already did that?" Laki asked in a stupor.

"Yeah, but I need her for a project. So, if your curious, call my guild and ask them. The two of us… need to hit the fallout" McGarden stated firmly as Levy's eyes widened.

"AHHH! I don't want to eat rats!" she cried as her double opened a breech, dragging her from her table as Levy tried to resist.

"Don't be such a baby! I didn't even tell you about the cockroaches the size of Happy!"

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE!" Levy cried out as she was pushed toward the breech by the insane woman.

"We're just working in my lab! Stop freaking the hell out!" she yelled as she managed to send Levy though, leaving the hall in silence a minute later as both women disappeared.

"D…did Levy just get kidnapped by Levy?" Elfman asked his friends and family.

'Forget that? What kind of place has cockroaches the size of cats?" Evergreen shouted with a shudder at the thought.

"Yeah…Knightwalker told me about it at that party we had earlier this summer…it's a pretty nasty universe with cannibals and mutants. Not to mention all the other stuff" Erza commented between bites of her dessert while glancing at the earth mage.

"You know what? I don't want to know anymore" Evergreen said as she walked back to the bar, Natsu wondering if he should follow the two women. "I have to remember, their Levy has fought locust, monsters, and vile things across the multiverse. We're complete amateurs compared to any of them when it comes to this shit. And if I remember right, the fallout universe completely nullifies all magic. I guess…I'll just wait a few hours" He thought before going back to spending time with Lucy and Seliah.

Universe 1000-A

Levy found herself in a lab with numerous machines and equipment as McGarden walked toward a table strewn with tools and half finished devices.

"Where are…"

"The basement of my lab. Don't antagonize the cylinder covered in a blanket…it's sleeping" she warned before waving her over as Levy gulped. Walking over, she could see a strange gun on the table, half the components strewn about as the bigger breasted woman spoke.

"Zeref is upstairs with Natsu, so eventually we will need a sample of his blood for this. But for right now, I need your help with this" She pointed to a computer as she brought up several programs. The display was of strands of DNA fluctuating with a strange, orange substance covering most of it.

"What am I looking at?"

"This is the DNA of a Happy exposed to the same bastard as Zeref. But luckily for that little guy, I managed to cure his immortality pretty easily since he never got the death curse. Unfortunately, with humans…its different"

"Where did you find a Happy like that?" Levy asked as her busty double paused, her voice going softer.

"I found him after a some really nasty shit happened to a parallel Wendy….and the Happy she knew was killed, cooked, and eaten by a serial killer. After we healed her wounds from all the torture and Sam killed the evil fucker, I tried to find something to reunite that guild….I found the immortal Happy a month later…" McGarden replied as her fingers clicked across the keyboard.

"How awful…"

"It is…but they're doing alright now. Even gave that Wendy a laser eye. But I can share more stories later after we cure Zeref"

"That's why you brought me here?" Levy asked as she pushed the horrible thoughts of Happy dying from her mind.

'Yes. Look, I know your smart like me, so pitch in so I can get our trials back on track"

"Okay. What should I do first?"

"Get a sample of Zeref's blood. Just a syringe will do" McGarden pointed to the wrapped medical instrument as Levy tried to comprehend how her day took such a weird turn.

"Regular face…normal arms…" the cylinder on the far left wall whispered as the script mage gulped. Yup…this other levy was crazy as she hurried up the stairs.

Several hours later…

"Well…I guess two Levy's are better than one" McGarden smirked at her twin as they made phenomenal progress on the cure in the basement.

"We did! So, is it ready? Because if we develop a cure for Zeref and your guild finding an easy way to kill Acnologia, we could help countless universes!" The innocent script mage shouted out as her double gave a small smile.

"Almost. But we need one more component to mix in with this before we give it to Zeref…it's rare"

"Oh? Well, what is it?'

"A cryolator core. Last I heard a super mutant master had it at Medford Memorial"

"And where is that?"

"Outside. You'll have to armor up" the scientist instructed as her twin gulped on her way up the stairs. "Oh crap….who knows what horrors are out there…" Levy thought as she found herself being led to a small alcove of armors.

"That's combat armor from this world. It will fit you and absorb most laser and small arms fire…now where did Natsu and his brother go?" McGarden wondered as her double started to dress in some green styled armor with strange plates.

Spotting a note on one her lab tables, the scientist picked it up as she started to read.

"Lev. Me and my brother got sick of waiting after I told him my life story so I'm showing Zeref the area…maybe take him to Diamond City and buy him a local gun…or something"

"Well…that explains that" she told herself as Levy studied the wall of weapons.

"Um…"

"Here. Use this" she instructed while pushing a laser rifle into the girl's hands along with spare ammo cores. Grabbing her own armor, the busty woman was soon donned in blue clothes covered by several hard plates and joint guards. The most noticeable thing was the large letters across the chest that read R.P.D. Grabbing her machine gun, several spare magazines of ammunition, grenades, and some field rations, the woman was ready.

Moving to the door, she input a code as it slowly slid upwards as a red light blinked above. Walking through, Levy gained her first glimpse of this war blasted world. The land was cracked and covered with dying brush, scraggly trees dead and reaching toward the sky. But as they walked down the path away from the bunker, Levy noticed something too. The beginnings of new plant life as small patches of fresh green started to poke out of the earth.

"I thought this world was dead?" Levy asked her double who had her large gun clinging to her back as they finally reached a road littered with debris and destroyed pavement.

"Not quite. After myself, Natsu, Sam, and Knightwalker set off the radiation purge for the planet, its started to heal. The air is already cleaner, the water fresher, even the soil is starting to bear life"

"Amazing…"

"Yeah. But keep your eyes peeled…still plenty of shit out here that can kill either of us. Remember…magic is non-existent here"

"Got it" Levy replied as she clutched the rifle closer. Her footsteps echoing off the ruined blacktop with her twin who seemed completely at ease. They had to have walked for an hour, the two talking and exchanging stories after Levy was given the run-down on how to use her new laser rifle. But she found herself surprised, she thought they would instantly be attacked by monsters…but nothing happened. Even the few burnt out buildings they passed were empty and devoid of threats as the two walked past a bus ripped in half by some event long ago.

The sun was going higher into the sky before they finally reached the ruins of a small town. Cars were rusting, buildings crumbling with age as a few fresh bodies laid in the streets. The duo was still heading southward, the clogged intersection of ruined cars and trucks littering the T-section up ahead.

"Malden?" Levy asked as she avoided a bloated corpse covered with flies, her eyes instantly darting away from the sight. Feeling her arm grabbed, she was practically dragged into cover behind a rusting police car on its side. The metallic smell of rust assaulted her senses as McGarden pressed a finger to her lips, indicating silence.

"Super Mutants have taken over the hospital a blocks away. They love setting up in places humans might try to salvage" McGarden indicated with a whisper as she huddled behind the front of the vehicle. Crouching down, Levy tired not to look at the sun bleached skeleton sitting against the undercarriage. She wanted to ask what they looked like, but then she heard it…heavy footsteps.

"I smell weak humans…."

"Me too…we eat them?"

"Oh crap! Are they really going to try and eat us? I hope they move on past us…" Levy thought as her crazy double grabbed a strange, round object from her side pouch. Clicking a button, McGarden leaned out of cover while tossing the fusion grenade at the group of six mutants.

"ATTACK!" The lead mutant yelled out…just as the grenade detonated in a flash of fusion fire. In the blink of an eye, three were vaporized into ash as the energy consumed their flesh and roiling heat.

"EAT LEAD YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!" McGarden shouted out as she leaned around the bumper, unleashing a burst of machine gun fire from her heavy weapon. Her countless battles across the multiverse came into play as the heavy rounds smashed into the torso of one of the mutants, ripping through its chest as red blood burst from its back. Unfortunately, the other two managed to take cover behind a rusting truck on the other side of the intersection to the south as they started to trade shots with the inventor.

"Oh crap! Oh Crap!" Levy whispered to herself as bullets pinged and whizzed back and forth.

"TINY HUMAN'S!"

Snapping her head to the left, she finally saw what these things looked like. It was tall…easily seven feet and with sickly green skin. Its face was contorted in rage while it wore decorations of…human bones across its chest. The mutant was charging right at them with a huge sledgehammer in its hands, coming out from a side alley with another on its trail. The second had a strange, blinking device in its hands as they started to close the thirty foot gap.

"SHOOT THE ONE WITH THE BOMB! McGarden roared out as she hid behind cover, bullets sparking of the rusting metal of the ruined vehicle.

Nodding her head, Levy tried to calm her nerves as the snarling monsters ran closer. Bracing the new rifle against her shoulder, the kind hearted girl pulled the trigger. The recoil was minimal, striking the first one in the leg as its flesh sizzled and burned from the intense heat. Renewed gunfire filled her senses as the other woman continued her own battle, but she had to concentrate. Shifting her aim toward the charging one with the bomb, Levy saw they were less than twenty feet away now. Pulling the trigger once more, the laser blast hit its mark. Most likely luck if she had to guess, but it was enough to destroy the impromptu bomb of the suicider. Exploding in a flash of nuclear fire, the two mutants were blown to flying chunks of flesh and meat as the street was covered in fresh gore. The heat was intense as she found herself pulled down and covered by McGarden, the other woman using her own body as a shield. Levy was not ashamed to scream out in fear for her life as the noise and dust bracketed them.

She felt something land in her hair as the roaring inferno finally ended, the street overcome with silence as she slowly opened her eyes. Something was blocking her right eye as McGarden faced her with a small grin.

'Looks like you have a small souvenir" she chuckled while pulling a strand of intestine from her doubles now bloody hair.

'Is…that…ugh…I…think I'm going to be sick…" Levy whispered as her friend flung the strand away.

"Not yet. There's an eye too"

"Uhgghh…" she moaned out as bile started to rise. She tried to fight it, she really did. But seeing a disembodied eye pulled from her own hair…by herself as the hardened woman chuckled. It was too much. Leaning over near the car, she spilt all her breakfast out as she wretched. For a whole minute she vomited until nothing was left to throw up as it splashed against the sun baked road.

"Why…why did you bring me here on this?' Levy choked out as she wiped the spittle from her lips.

"Eh…toughen you up a bit. Plus, this way we can bond!" McGarden said with a smile as her own face was covered in specks of blood.

"Your insane…"

"Never denied it. Now come on, we still have to get that cryolator" McGarden instructed as she started to head westward to the hospital a short distance away, her boots echoing across concrete and shards of broken glass. Not wanting to be left behind, Levy hurried her steps as she followed the crazy female. Walking behind her as her eyes darted to anything that looked threatening, the script mage tried not to think about the gun battle as her hands slightly shook.

"It's the adrenaline. It happens a lot in your very first gun battle. Same thing happened to me" McGarden said as she glanced over her shoulder. Pausing in her steps, the scientist double checked her weapon as they approached the side of the hospital through dead shrubbery.

Wrinkling her nose, Levy tired to ignore the vile smell assaulting her senses.

"What's that smell?" she whispered as her comrade held up a hand for silence.

Peeking around the corner, McGarden ignored the bags full of flesh covered bones and rotting meat as three more mutants exited the front doors of the hospital. Bringing her head back, she glanced at her twin while holding up three fingers then making a shooting motion with her gun.

"She…sees three? And wants me to shoot them…that has to be it, right? Honestly, their whole guild acts like soldiers. But not really surprising…" Levy told herself as she moved with the busty woman into position. If she hadn't vomited earlier, she would have now since she was barely two feet away from a bag filled with rancid flesh buzzing with flies.

McGarden was used to this kind of smell, barely feeling any sort of queasiness as she pointed the machine gun down range. Glancing to her right, she could see her twin gulping heavily.

"Maybe I should've left her at base…nah" She concluded before opening fire. The arc of heavy rounds were soon mixed with laser blasts as the two females lay down death. With her increased skill, McGarden killed two with accurate bursts as one of the mutant heads exploded into gore. The other fell with a dozen bullets burying itself into its torso. Levy on the other hand, missed with her first three laser blasts, the hissing light hitting a far support column before the fourth finally stuck. In a cacophony of light and burning ash, the third mutant was consumed and turned into a smoldering pile of embers.

"What…the hell?'

"Yeah, they do that sometimes" McGarden shrugged as she moved toward the double doors, her friend following. Pausing as she held the handle, the scarred female looked at her comrade. "Stay low and quiet, we just need the damn gun, not clear the whole damn building"

"O…okay" Levy agreed as the other woman opened the door with practiced ease. Both slipping in, they were greeted with a lobby strewn with old hospital equipment, bloody bags of organs the mutants use to feed, and the remains of old world civilization. Moving in a crouch toward the receptionist desk with several destroyed computers, McGarden peered above the old wooden surface. Across the lobby was a lone mutant sitting on a throne of bones, a strange gun nearby as it glowed a soft blue. Five more mutants could be seen around the spacious lobby, each carrying a different type of weapon.

"Okay. I'll take the three on the right, you take the two on the left" The woman in blue armor instructed while handing a frag grenade to the scared companion. "Pull the pin and throw. And remember, just a few shots then duck back down"

Giving a small nod, Levy took the grenade as she leaned out from behind the blood spattered receptionist desk. Her two enemies were standing near an old gurney piled with…several limbs as one gnawed on the flesh. "At least I won't feel bad about killing monsters…" Levy told herself as she pulled the pin. Throwing in an arc across the room, the egg shaped explosive sailed through the air before landing on the battered tile floor with a soft 'clink'

"GREN-!" the other mutant howled out as it tried to bring a laser rifle to bear. But it was too late for them both as the weapon detonated, filling the surrounding air with splinters of howling shrapnel and concussive force. The first was torn in half, his intestines ripped out as the upper body flopped to the floor. The second lost its legs as they were vaporized below the knees, leaking blood and gore as it howled on the floor in raging agony. A second explosion rocked the mutant lair a split second later, killing another mutant as its head was torn from its body.

"NICE!" McGarden cheered out as she started to lay down fire at the two survivors on the right. They had taken cover behind an old nuka cola machine tipped over, the two mutants firing laser blasts at the two women.

"HUMAN'S ARE STUPID! GRAAAHHH!" The master bellowed as it picked up the cryolator. Aiming the weapon, it let off a short burst of blue bolts of light as they froze the far side of the wooden desk.

"Oh crap!" Levy shouted as one passed over her head by inches. Gulping as the sounds of battle assaulted her senses, she glanced at her double. She didn't see fear in her eyes…or worry. McGarden was fighting like she believed in living, her lips a snarl as brass casings clattered to the floor nearby.

"If she can do it…" Levy thought before bringing herself out of cover. Bracing the rifle over the desk, she aimed at the master as it howled in rage. Pulling the trigger, a beam of ionized energy crackled and hissed across the room before piercing the mutants right shoulder. Screaming in pain as its flesh sizzled, the larger abomination set its eyes on her with a vicious smile.

"KEEP IT UP!" McGarden yelled out as she fired another burst at the lone mutant behind the soda machine, bullets punching into the ruined metal as she missed her target.

"Right!" Levy replied as she re-aimed. The master was hefting the strange freeze gun, its shoulder a burnt and bleeding mess. Firing again, the laser rifle gave a slight jump against her shoulder as bullets, red beams, and flashes of blue light arced and hissed around the room. Levy's beam hit the master in the torso, impacting the flesh as it burned and sundered the green skin.

"I EAT YOU HUMANS!" the monster roared out as McGarden finally bored a short burst through the other mutant's head on the right, the gore splashing around the fallen enemy.

"GIVE ME THAT FUCKING FREEZE GUN!" the scientist yelled out as the lone master continued to fight.

"MY GUN!" It bellowed as it sent a staccato of bursts at the two females. Ducking down, the two women eyed each other as freezing laser blasts arced over their heads.

"Next time you want help…please for the love of Fairy Tail…make it something not insane" Levy said in exasperation as she popped back up to fire a few more blasts of laser light.

"But then you don't get experience points" the girlfriend of Dragneel said in a normal tone as she hefted her machine gun onto the desk. Pulling the trigger, she let off a ten round burst as seven stitched up the monsters body from the crotch all the way to his left shoulder. Punching and rendering its hide and flesh, the speeding metal tumbled and tore muscle as the mutant fell to one knee, gasping for air as its bloody teeth let out a snarl. It had dropped the rare weapon, the strange gun clattering to the ground near a pile of flesh as the creature labored for air.

"Kill you humans…"

"NOW LEVY! FINSIH THAT BASTARD!"

"Right!" the visitor replied as she stood up, her combat armor reflecting off a lone sunbeam from a shattered window. Pulling the trigger, the reddish beam of light cracked and sparked across the air before slamming into the nightmarish monsters left eye. Blowing up in a ghastly display as the beam burned its way through the skull, the super mutant master finally fell over dead as the smoking hole wafted a small wisp of smoke.

"Nice! You did great!" McGarden said with a smile as she slapped her companion on the back, staggering the woman slightly.

"Ugh….can we please just get that…wait….why do you need a gun to cure Zeref?"

"It's not the gun…it's the core that powers it. Completely different and experimental. I would've collected it earlier, but I never had a reason too" the other female replied as she stooped down to pick up the weapon. Brushing off any extra gore, she walked back to Levy.

"There we go! Mission accomplished!"

Trying to wipe the gore, ash and blood from her hair, Levy vowed to soak in the shower for a whole day once she got back home. Following in step after the insane woman replenished whatever ammunition she could the two exited the hospital of horror as the sun beat down from the sky. But it was interrupted by a dozen men standing outside, weapons at the ready.

"You girls are gonna pay for what you did. We where hired to clear this place and get the Cryolator for our boss. So, hand it over and we won't rape you…probably" The leader in biker leathers and a mohawk said with a sneer as his men chuckled.

"Hmmmm…back inside!" She shouted to her companion as the two sprinted back to the doors, the men already aiming and firing as bullets snapped and hissed through the air.

"GET THEM AND RAPE THEM!" The leader shouted as the two women braced the door frame, McGarden already laying down more fire as two men were cut down in a spray of blood and shattered limbs.

"How…how did my day get like this!?" Levy wailed as she popped out and fired a short burst of laser beams at a larger man, the energy burning a hole through his crotch as his ungodly wails filled the air with screaming, explosions, and the snapping of dozens of bullets as brass clinked against the ground…

Universe 129-G. Several hours later…

"I wonder how Levy is doing?" Happy asked Natsu as most of the guild hung around the hall, waiting for news on their friend.

"I'm sure she's fine. I mean, they were just going to cure Zeref" Natsu replied to his little friend.

"True. I'm sure she had fun working with new technology and knowledge. I doubt McGarden would take her anywhere dangerous" Mira exclaimed with a smile as she sat next to Natsu and the other girls of his growing harem. She was about to stand up when a familiar swirling mass of energy coalesced into the hall. Walking forth were the two blue haired females, both covered in blood, gore, ash, and grime. Their respective armors were gouged and scratched, even their weapons had a few specks of blood as Levy spun on her double.

"ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU HAD A PORTAL GUN THE WHOLE TIME! We could've avoided almost all that shit!" She yelled, her voice cracking with anger and rage as blood streamed down her face. The guild was stupefied, they never say Levy angry…and she was displaying Erza level fury right now.

"Relax will ya? We accomplished the mission, and you didn't even get shot once!"

"I WILL NOT RELAX! I GOT MUTANT INTESTINE IN MY HAIR! I HAD TO FIGHT IN A HOSPITAL FILLED WITH BAGS OF HUMAN FLESH! THEN WE GET AMBUSHED BY RAPING MERCENARIES WHICH WE HAD TO KILL! THEN A DEATHCLAW PINS US DOWN IN A RUINED DINER! THEN! AFTER ALL THAT SHIT WE HAD TO FIGHT A PACK OF GHOULS WHO WANTED TO EAT US! AHHH!" Levy ranted as McGarden handed her a flask.

"Yeah…when you say it like that it sounds bad…here drink up" she offered as her twin unscrewed the cap and drank the burning alcohol. She didn't stop until she drained the whole flask, her stress around her like waves as she shook her head.

"I'm…I'm going to shower and…and…I dunno! Not think about today!" Levy shouted out once more as she stormed to the double doors, the sounds of night echoing in from outside.

"YOU CAN KEEP THE RIFLE AND ARMOR!" McGarden shouted out in reply as she gained a pondering look. "Maybe it was too much for her on day one?"

"YOU THINK!?" the guild roared out as the woman chuckled.

"Whatever, she'll be fine. Now just to make up the cure, drink, fuck Natsu,,. and I can call it a day" she told the mages with a chuckle as she reopened a rift. "Hey, tell Levy she did great when she calms down" the woman told Natsu and Happy before jumping through, leaving the hall in silence once more.

"Yeah…I think I'll go check up on her…" Lucy said off-handedly as she grimaced at the thought of blood in her hair. Shuddering slightly, she left the hall to comfort her friend as Evergreen spoke up.

"At least they didn't eat cockroaches…"

Universe 137-C The next day, 8:13 a.m.

Zeref was standing in the hall, holding the strange gun in his hands as it gave off a yellow and blue hue. He was on the far side away from all the mages, his eyes looking at the device with a long needle at the tip.

"And your sure this will cure my immortality and stabilize my magic?"

"As sure as I can be. To be honest, you're my first human subject" Levy told the dark mage as Mavis watched nearby on the bar, her hands clutched in prayer. Shrugging, the brother of Natsu didn't wait for fanfare or a countdown as he plunged the needle into his neck. With a small hiss of noise, the strange liquid mixed into his bloodstream as it started to course through his body.

"How do you feel?" Natsu asked his brother as the man shrugged.

"The same to be honest. I don't feel any different"

"Maybe you should test it?" Kinana suggested as the man nodded. Walking toward the bar, he picked up a simple knife. Dragging across his open palm, the man gasped in pain as the skin was sliced open. Crimson blood leaked from the wound as Zeref gained a massive grin, his face lighting up as the wound refused to close.

"YES! IT WORKED! I'M NO LONGER IMMORTAL! This cut would've closed already!"

"What about your magic?" Makarov asked as the dark mage continued to smile.

'I can feel it…but….it doesn't want to burst out randomly…could…am I cured?"

"Well if you are, there is only one thing left to do" Natsu told his brother as he walked closer with a guild stamp in his hand. "How about it? Wanna join?"

"You know I still have an empire to run across the ocean? I would be a member in name only"

"Yeah? So what? Be a mage that supports us from afar then" Natsu said as Zeref started to think it over. Really, the only thing he wanted was to see Mavis again…even if she was a spirit at the moment. But Levy had told him she would start working on something for her after the trials. Coming to a conclusion, he rolled up his sleeve on his left shoulder.

"I guess black would suit me here"

"Heh…I guess I owe Cana a bottle of whiskey for guessing the color" Natsu chuckled as he pressed down the stamp. In a flurry of sparkles and magic, Zeref became a member of Fairy Tail. Glancing at the stamp, he turned his eyes upward to only have them widen. There she was, standing right on the bar with tears in her eyes.

"Mavis…"

"Zeref…" The short woman jumped off the bar, sailing through the air. She wanted to hold him…after so many years apart. But as her body sailed through his, they both realized what happened as the two lovers looked at each other in sadness.

"I…we can't touch each other my dear…" she sniffled as Zeref tried to stoke her cheek, the guild watching in silence as a small tingle of magic reached his fingers.

"It's alright Mavis…just to hear your voice again is a miracle…" Zeref smiled a Levy walked up, a small limp in her step from the night with Natsu.

"Zeref. I promise I'll find a way to bring her back, but please remember it could take longer than you. Half that research was from an immortal Happy so…try to be patient"

"It's…fine" He said while standing up, his hand extending down toward the blonde woman as their fingertips tingled.

"We have so much to catch up on…" Mavis whispered as a small smile tugged at her mouth, the two heading for the door.

"I hope you don't mind brother…but imagine if you couldn't talk to Erza or any of your girlfriends for centuries…I…I want…"

"It's alright. Take all the time you need" The scarred Gear replied as the two walked out into the sunny day of August, ready to explore the transformed city of Magnolia.

"That…we have to make sure we can get Mavis back to Zeref!" Kinana shouted as the loveable female with a kind heart stood near the kitchen.

"We will…but now we have some trials to start!" Makarov cheered out as the guild of mages nodded.

"HELL YEAH! I'M KICKING YOUR ASS BLONDIE!" Sam shouted across the hall as her rival scoffed.

"In your dreams. Only me and Grey will get top spot"

"I doubt that…." Cana and Wendy glowered at the blonde and ice mage, the rivalry between teams crackling the atmosphere of the hall.

"ALRIGHT! NO FIGHTING! Save it for the tests while I get everything ready!" Natsu yelled out as the mages calmed down…for the moment.

"God Sam…you just want to beat the blonde that bad, don't you?" Knightwalker asked as the two sat at a table.

"Damn right I do…this is the perfect test to establish which one of us is better…"

"Just don't get too carried away! Juvia hopes you make it to her test!" The beautiful water mage said with a smile as the guild made preparations…

One hour later….

"Okay you brats listen up! Our trials will be quite different from other realities, so don't expect to find some loophole!" Makarov shouted from the bar before pointing toward Natsu.

"Natsu will go over all the rules and what you have to do" The guild master said as the mages turned their attention to the dragon slayer as he stood at a table with six portal guns labeled one through six. There were also six clear cases with a giant red button encased behind the plexiglass that were resting near a half dozen strange wristbands.

"Each of these portal guns is fully charged with a set destination in mind. Each team will pick one at random. You may use it as many times as you wish" the man relayed as Natsumi and Hisui stood nearby at the bar, listening in earnest as he picked up one of the strange boxes.

"This is your 'I quit' button for the first level of the trails. You press it, and your done…I don't expect any of you to use these" He said while glancing at Wendy, the young girl brimming with excitement. Watching him as he picked up the last item, Wendy could see a small green screen with an orange light on the side.

"This is your mission objective band. It will activate once you enter the assigned reality. Once you complete your task, the light will turn green and you can return here"

"What happens when we get back?" Grey asked as he stood near Lucy, the blonde giving a soft smile near her boyfriend.

"Then you will face off against an opposing team. The three surviving teams will then go on to battle against Erza, Juvia, and Gildarts"

"And after that?" Bisca asked as she stood near Levy, the gun mage nursing a cool glass of water.

"Then whoever is left faces me. And it goes without saying that any killing magic or moves against fellow mages will result in immediate failure" he said evenly, reminding the mages that this would still be against friends and family.

"What about Laxus or Mira?" Sue asked as her large breasts threatened to spill from her purple mid-driff tank top.

Pressing a button in his hand, the blonde lighting mage indicated a large screen that lowered in front of the bar's mirror, the screens separated into six large squares that showed a number designation in the lower right corner.

"I'll be monitoring progress with Lisanna and my grandfather. Mira and Meredy will assist anybody with injuries after they are eliminated"

"Now seeing as our guild has traveled to countless universes, you may take any equipment you deem for the first part of the trial. This includes armor, firearms, whatever you think you'll need. After all, you only have two hours to complete your first mission" Mira smiled as she stood near Kinana, the busty barmaid giddy with excitement.

"And remember, you can't use any of that stuff in the second stage! So, make sure to remove it after you get back!" The purple haired woman said happily as Levy's eyes widened in panic.

"CRAP! JUST TWO HOURS!?" Levy roared as her and Bisca ran to the back armory, the two women ready to load up on anything they would need.

Looking at the way they had gone, Natsu pinched the bridge of his nose. "I haven't started the clock yet…" he muttered in annoyance before looking at the remaining teams. "You have half an hour to prepare then we start"

"Come on Cana, I'm getting my bat" Wendy told her older friend who was wearing her favorite bomber jacket, the gift from Natsu going almost everywhere with her except on the hottest of days. Leaving the hall, the teams made their own preparations over the next half hour as the rest of the guild waited. Soon, the time was up as each team grabbed a portal gun, wristband, and quitting button.

"AH! MY BABY GIRL WILL WIN FOR SURE!" Gildarts cheered out as he hefted his beer to his only daughter, the woman looking away in embarrassment at her weird father. Meredy was looking at Wendy the two younger woman having a staring contest before the pinkette finally broke the silence.

"I guess…good luck….flatty"

"Thanks.. Itty Bitty…" the two new rivals said to each other as Wendy had her special blue bat with metal studs strapped to her back. She had grabbed her snub too, the pistol hanging from her hip as Cana held the portal gun with a pouch for storage on her hip.

Glancing at the display clock as the seconds counted down past thirty, Sam smirked in her Gear armor, lancer at the ready as Knightwalker did the same.

"Hey you four? Want to give the countdown?" Natsu asked Juvia, Natsumi, Erza and Hisui as the four women nodded.

"You bet!" Natsumi said with a grin as she gave a small hop in the air, her large chest bouncing in her tight shirt as the two Happy's sat with the other exceeds. The clock reached eleven seconds as Juvia gave a shout moments later.

"TEN!"

"NINE!"

"EIGHT!"

"SEVEN!"

"SIX!"

"FIVE!"

"FOUR!"

"THREE!"

"TWO!"

"ONE!"

"AND DO YOUR DAMN BEST!" Erza shouted out as six portals jumped into being. In a flash, the six teams were gone as the clock started a new countdown from two hours.

"So…what kind of universes did they get?" Laxus asked Natsu as the large screen lit to life, following each team in their new realities.

"Just watch and see. All I know is Grey will hate his" The soldier smirked as the blonde chuckled. Knowing his friend, it probably was something traumatizing.

Universe 9898-K. Magnolia.

Levy looked down at her wristband as the instructions sprung across the screen, the words giving a blue glow as she stood in the alleyway with Bisca, the two decked out in their respective armors.

"What does it say?" Bisca asked as her eyes were shadowed by her cowboy hat.

"It says…'Save Fairy Tail from Herman and his mercen…aries…OH SHIT! IT'S THAT ASSHOLE!" Levy yelled out as she looked southward toward the city limits. There was the airship of the vile man in the distance, the humming of its engine looming closer.

"FUCK! We have to hurry! Our doubles here won't stand a chance against these butchers!" Bisca exclaimed as the two started to run toward the guild, the gunner thankful for bringing her longshot along for this. Running down the street in the summer heat, the two women were dripping with sweat as the familiar hall came into view.

"Seriously! Why the fuck is this part of the trials!? I was expecting an item retrieval or something!" Bisca shouted to her friend as they ran onto the property of the guild. Kicking the door open as the wood slightly shattered, the two women were greeted with stupefied looks.

"What the hell!" Natsu exclaimed as he sat with his team and Happy, the forms of Erza, Evergreen, Lucy, and Laki all with wide eyes. Every person was in shock, seeing a double of the gun mage and a Levy with a scar across her face.

"THERE'S NO TIME FOR YOU TO BE SHOCKED! Mercenaries are on their way here to kill you all!" Levy roared out as Erza stood up, brandishing a sword in moments.

"Then I will defend the hall!" she stated proudly as her team stood up. Running over, Levy punched the woman in the face, knocking her to the floor as her anger and fury crossed her eyes.

"You don't fucking get it. In another reality, they fucking decapitate you and kill almost everybody in the guild in less than ten minutes. You have no chance. In comparison, it would be like Gildarts fighting a six year old….your the six year old" McGarden finished with a snarl before pointing to her partner, ignoring the horrified looks on many. "Get to the roof and in position. You'll know when to shoot…I want these assholes to suffer so no kill shots"

"Got it!" Bisca said with a nod as she started to head toward the roof, her rifle ready to kill.

"Makarov. You need to promise to keep all your children here in the hall. Fighting these men will just lead to their slaughter" McGarden told the old man who nodded in understanding.

"What will you do? You can't fight them yourself!?" Evergreen shouted as the scarred script mage grinned.

"I have magic that can kill them. Plus, a secret weapon" she replied before opening a breech to her base. Stepping back as the portal swirled, many mages looked on in wonder as Makarov turned to Gildarts. "If this goes bad…you get everyone out. I will stay to buy you time" the old master instructed, his voice not giving room for debate.

Nodding as his daughter sat nearby, the members of this universe watched as this other Levy returned with….what could only be described as a walking watermelon.

"Come on Normalface…I have something fun for you" McGarden told the short, sentient fruit as it showed a sinister smile. It knew what fun meant.

"Your…USING A WATERMELON!?" Grey shouted in disbelief as the two stood in the doorway.

"Yes…now barricade the fucking door" McGarden instructed as she slammed the heavy doors behind them. As soon as they closed, Bisca and Elfman started piling furniture and tables across the door and low windows, the news of danger motivating them. With how deadly these men sounded and the whole insanity of it all, they decided to listen…especially with that other Levy getting a surprise hit on Erza. Not even Mira could do that on normal days.

Standing outside, Levy waited with her short creation as the airship slowed. Hovering in the air, it descended to the pavement as a ramp lowered. Walking forth, three men emerged in front while a hundred soldiers armed with lances followed behind, keeping a steady formation as the sounds of marching boots echoed across the road.

The short man was rather plump, wearing a purple coat with matching purple pants and brown boots. He carried a colorful cane in his right hand while a purple top hat encrusted with jewels rested on his head.

"Oh? Looks like we have a welcoming party. No matter" he said in a non caring tone as he turned to the two mercenaries. "Kariax. Major Vomo. Kill her then slaughter the rest"

Kariax nodded, his yellow eyes barely seen between his flat bamboo hat and red scarf. His body was covered with brown, leather armor except for his arms, which looked taught with muscle. The other man was in brown, metallic armor form head to toe, including his face as his helmet kept him unanimous.

Crouching down, Levy was eye level with the fruit as she looked into its eyes. "See those men? They want to steal your rage…all of it" she whispered as the two mercenaries walked closer, taking their time.

Eyes widening and face curling into a horrendous smile, the juicy food roared.

"RAGEMELON!"

Charging forth, its tiny booted feet echoed across the stone ground as it closed the distance. As it got close, it leapt for Vomo, its fist cocked back.

Drawing a single sword, the major cleaved the watermelon in half with ease, his steps never wavering as the distance closed between them and their first target. The two halves were immediately forgotten, the two men barely blinking at the lack of effort.

"I'm sorry…but was that creature supposed to be a threat?" He asked as the mercenaries stopped with Herman standing near the airship.

"Yes….yes it is" Levy smiled as Herman's eyes widened. The sentient watermelon had reformed its body in mere seconds, the juicy entrails and seeds pulling together to reform the murderous creature.

"I AM NORMAL-FACE!" it screamed out while jumping onto Kiriax's back, its sharpened teeth glistening in the sun.

"LOOK OUT YOU FOOL!" Herman shouted out, but his voice was lost as the watermelon sank its teeth into the man's neck.

"AAAUGGHHH!" the bamboo hat wearer screamed out as he felt skin, tendons, and flesh tear. Trying to grab his attacker with a free hand, the man could already feel the blood pouring from his hideous wound. Watching the hand approaching after it had spit out the bloody chunk of neck flesh, Normal-face did only one thing….he bit the fingers off.

"AAAGHH!'' Kiriax screamed once more as he clutched the ruined digits, the mercenary sinking to his knees as blood continued to drip and flow down his chest.

"Well…I guess that's the signal…" Bisca told herself as she lay prone on the room of the guild. Peering through the scope at Vomo as the man charged toward Levy, the sniper pulled the trigger of her weapon. Bucking against her shoulder as the brass casing flung through the air, she smirked as the bullet found its mark.

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" Major Vomo screamed out in mind numbing agony as he clutched the ruined mass between his legs that used to be his penis. The bullet from Bisca's rifle had actually separated the top half from the main shaft before tearing through his scrotum, causing the vile man to collapse to the ground as he held his groin. Blood was already seeping through his clothes and onto the ground as Levy smiled while bringing out her machine gun.

"Now…its fucking PARTY TIME!" She screamed as Herman tried to turn and run onto his ship.

"GUARDS! KILL HER!" The fat man yelled as the hundred men and women ran past with weapons ready to kill. Marching past Normal-Face as he bit off the fingers of Kiriax's other hand, Levy lowered her weapon to waist height. After all…she didn't care about these guards in the slightest.

"THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT! PAPER SHREDDER!"

Pulling the trigger as thunderous explosions of gunfire shot a stream of deadly lead into the mass of guards, she elicited a toll of death on the front ranks as countless sheets of paper formed. Levy didn't bother with some sort of display or show…no…she wanted to make these men suffer for their crimes in another universe. Darting forth as the gunfire echoed through the air, the deadly paper started to carve and shred the guards. Limbs were cleaved from bodies, faces and torsos rendered by heavy machine gun fire as the hundred souls were reduced to shattered corpses.

Stepping over a man as he tried to pool his intestines back inside his body, she glanced down to Normal-Face as it jumped past her. Landing on a man who lost both of his legs, the watermelon reached into his screaming mouth before ripping out his tongue with an orgy of violence.

Marching the fire in a shallow arc, Levy continued to butcher the men without mercy as her melon went from wounded to wounded, killing with brutal efficiency.

"RUN! WE DON'T MAKE ENOUGH FOR THIS!" One of six survivors yelled to his remaining guards as the watermelon jumped.

"RAGEMELON!" It screamed before twisting the blonde man's head off in a spray of blood and tearing skin. Throwing it at one of the two remaining female guards, she fell to the ground as her friend was sliced into three separate pieces. Ears ringing from the echoing gunfire as her last companions were killed, the moans of the dead, and the screaming. Stephanie had clapped her hands over her ears, her screams of terror mixing in as the last surviving guard looked up as she pissed her pants. The area was a carnal house of guts, shattered limbs and bodies with blood coating the street. The smell of loosened bowels and urine permeated the air Standing there was the woman who had butchered her whole company in less than a minute, her weapon still smoking. The watermelon was standing next to her, its form covered in gore.

"Do you want to live?" Levy asked the terrified female.

Nodding quickly, the twenty three year old would do anything to escape this woman. If she asked her to find five men for a gangbang, she wouldn't hesitate to comply as the two head mercenaries groaned and pleaded for the pain to stop.

"Go into that fucking airship and bring Herman out. You do that, you live"

Fear crossing her eyes, Stephanie scrambled to her feet to find her employer who had hid inside the ship. Figuring it would take a minute or two, Levy walked back to the main mercenaries as Bisca exited the hall, her face a scowl.

"Seriously Levy, you could've saved a few for me" the sniper complained lightly before grabbing the two swords from Vomo, his groans still echoing across the area.

"Y…you're a monst..er…" Kiriax whispered out as he tried to stem his bleeding.

"No…you are" Levy replied as sounds of struggle reached her ears. Glancing up, she saw the lone guard dragging Herman through the gore covered street as his body was dragged through a pile of entrails. Releasing him at her feet, the guard panted as Herman sneered.

"You…I'll have your head for this!" he screamed at the guard as Levy and Bisca laughed.

"That's the least of your problem's" the script mage said loudly before shooting him in the kneecap with her heavy weapon. Due to the closeness, the large caliber round actually severed the lower portion of his leg. Screaming in nightmarish pain as he clutched the stump, Herman's eyes watered.

Turning to the guard as the three men groaned and screamed from their wounds, Levy glared at the guard. "You leave this fucking city and never return. If you do, I'll fucking kill you"

Gulping heavily, the brunette woman ran as fast as her legs could carry her, vowing to live in the country far away from anybody for the rest of her days.

"Now…time to settle some shit" the inventor exclaimed as she pulled a strange gun from her side pouch. It was black and fashioned like a gun, but it glowed a strange purple from the attached cylinder next to the slide. Black flecks were floating inside the strange liquid as a small counter screen rested near the hammer.

"Wha…w..what is that?" Vomo managed to ask between painful bursts of agony from his destroyed crotch.

"Oh this? This is my D.M.G. or my Dimensional Murder Gun. And you three get to test it out!" Levy smirked before firing at Vomo. Immediately, a quarter of the strange liquid formed into a white beam as it encased the entire man's body in a purple glow.

He thought he felt pain before, but it was nothing compared to this.

"AAAAAAUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed, his voice going raw. It felt like every cell in his body was on fire and exploding at the same time. The pain was so horrible, he wished he could just feel the pain of his ruined dick just for relief. Then there was the fact his body was glowing with purple and black specks of light.

Smiling at herself as Bisca glanced at the guild whos members were watching with horrified faces, Levy continued. Shooting Kiriax and Herman with similar results, the other two men howled.

Approaching his creator, Normal-face looked up at her as he held a bloody string of intestine.

"May I jump rope?"

"Sure. Knock yourself out" she replied while watching the three. Ignoring the slapping sounds as the psychotic creation started to jump rope with the bloody strand, Levy took a step back as thousands of small, black specks shot off her three victims.

"The hell was that?" Bisca asked her friend. "Honestly…when did this become normal for me…" the sniper thought as Levy held up a finger.

"Quiet. It's counting" as the numbers on the gun climbed and climbed. Minutes passed as the guild slowly came out of the hall, their eyes white and ashen.

"Levy…Bisca…what did you do?" Makarov asked in a whisper while looking out at the bodies.

"We saved your guild from slaughter…so…"

"YES! IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!" Levy cheered out as the readout read '9,073' her shout interrupting the gunslinger.

"Nine thousand what?" Mira asked, her eyes trying not to glance at the watermelon still…jump-roping…

"KILLS! I just killed nine thousand of these fuckers across the multiverse!" She cheered out while giving a thumbs up to Kiriax.

"Thanks for helping with this! I bet your worthless doubles are screaming to death right now as that dark matter eats their bodies!"

He had stopped breathing. The gaping wound on his neck sealing his fate. But…his two companions weren't.

"Well damn…that sucks. Oh well" McGarden shrugged before glancing around. Spotting a tree across the street, she grabbed Herman by the hair, his hat still on the ship. Dragging him across the street, she picked him up while pressing him to the trunk.

"Just so you know…before today, we've killed over three thousand of you…but I guess it's over twelve now"

"Please…I'll pay you anything…" Herman begged as the shorter woman giggled.

"That's funny considering I could just rob you anywhere at anytime. No…you get to hang here for a few days…" She said to him while picking up a hammer and nails from the sign that had yet to be hung. It was advertising a new food restaurant…but something else would hang in its place. Bracing her arm against him, she started to hammer the first nail into his right shoulder as more cries of pain echoed across the street.

"Sh..she's torturing him!" Gajeel shouted out as Levy stood nearby, her face shocked at her double's actions.

"Yeah…well he fucking deserves it" Bisca said coldly before looking down at Vomo. Figuring he needed to suffer, Bisca grabbed the small flask from her left hip. Sure, she drank sometimes, but then…they were fucked up people anyway. Tipping the flask over, the liquid splashed into his helmet as the heavy alcohol covered his skin. Grabbing a lighter from her pocket, she flicked a flame into being as she lowered it to the alcohol now dripping down his neck. In moments, the auburn liquid ignited as the flames started to cook his flesh.

"AAAAAUGGHHH!" Vomo screamed once more as the fire started to eat at his eyes. Picking up a sword as he screamed, Bisca raised it above her head as the guild watched in horror.

"BISCA STOP! This is wrong! Even for them who came to kill us!" Lucy shouted out at the armored double. Glancing over her shoulder, the gun mage eyed the celestial mage.

"If you knew the horrors I've seen…you would help me…" She whispered before bringing the sword down. Cleaving his right arm off at the elbow, Vomo knew further heights of pain as his eyes were completely consumed by fire. By now, his lips had burned away, but still he wouldn't die.

"Normal-Face! Time for your finishing dance!" Levy shouted as she walked back, leaving Herman crucified on the tree as his screams echoed. He had been fitted with a sign too. 'I'm a fucking piece of shit that rapes little girls' it read, the red letters still dripping across the wood. There was no paint can that could be seen.

Smirking as he dropped the intestine rope, the watermelon jumped onto the major's chest as it grew…claws. Jamming them into the man's abdomen, the sound of tearing metal and ripping flesh could be heard. Putting his hands in, the watermelon of murder started to disembowel the mercenary as he started to dance, his green shell coated with red.

Hearing a soft 'ping' Levy looked down at her wristband as many mages threw up from the hideous sight. The light had turned green.

"Sweet! Mission accomplished!" Let's roll" McGarden told Bisca and Normal-face as it started to tear up the intestines like confetti. Pulling her portal gun free, the crazy trio walked through as they left that universe in silence.

"I…I promise to never make Levy or Bisca mad ever again…" Natsu whispered as his team nodded in complete unison among the slaughter and carnage.

Universe 116664-P

Evergreen and Elfman walked through the breech, the soft crickets of nighttime reaching them as stars twinkled above. Seeing the familiar city of Magnolia around them, Elfman lifted up his mission watch as the words sprang forth.

"What's our mission?" Evergreen asked her boyfriend as the man grinned.

"We lucked out. This has to be one of the easy universes" the man told her with a smirk as he showed her the mission.

"Steal…Gildarts porn stash!? What kind of mission is that?' Evergreen said in disgust. Yes, she had posed nude in Elegant Fairy with Lucy, but that was out of her hands because of Sam.

"It doesn't matter Ever! We can complete this mission like men!" The brother of Mira stated as the two started walking. The city was quiet and dark, most likely three in the morning if they had to guess as they finally found the man's home. Coming to the bedroom window, Elfman smiled as he saw nobody in the room.

'I think he's out of town. We can finish this in no time"

"We better. I'd hate to lose for such an easy task" She said while crossing her arms under her bust. Watching as the male lifted the window, she kept standing there as her boyfriend started to check the room.

"I am soo not going in that perverts house!" she told herself as Elfman emerged minutes later with a box full of dirty magazines.

"I found these like a man!"

"Whatever...let's get going" Evergreen said as the mission light turned green….

Universe 116663-P

"So, what's the mission, Sue?" Glenn asked his girlfriend as the sun beat down during a pleasant spring day.

"It says… 'Give Cana the courage to confess her relationship to Gildarts"

"Huh…that shouldn't be too bad" the Gear said as he started to walk toward the famous guild. Sure, he was decked out in his Gear armor with a lancer and Trish, but he believed in being cautious with this. Sue had gone with her normal outfit, but still carried a boltok on her hip…just in case. Approaching the guild ten minutes later, the two simply shrugged before pushing the door open. Most of the guild could be seen talking and laughing, a small argument between Grey and Natsu squashed by an angry Erza. But that was halted as the guild turned toward them.

"Can I help you two?" Makarov asked from the bar before noticing the weapons…the deadly weapons. "If you're here to harm my children, You will regret it" The old master stated evenly as Gildarts sat nearby, ready to jump in.

"Wait a second…SUE?" A black haired female shouted out, her ears adorned with heavy piercings. Her bust was sizable, fitted under a dark shirt while black pants and boots clothed the rest of her body.

"You know this person Gauge?' Laki asked as the female dragon slayer nodded.

"Yeah, she was in Phantom. But when we both quit, we went our separate ways"

"Okay…if we don't stop this, we run out of time" Glenn muttered before raising his hand.

"QUIET! We only came here to talk with Cana! Now I give you my word as a soldier that no harm will come to her, but we do need to talk to her" the normally quiet man shouted out as the guild fell into silence.

"Me? But I've never met you…unless I was drunk…OH SHIT! DO I OWE YOU MONEY!?" The lush said in a panicked voice before Sue stepped forward.

"No…but it is a personal matter that should be discussed in…private" Sue told the brunette.

"Alright…but if you try anything funny I'll scream, and our two dragon slayers will come running to kick your ass" The voluptuous woman stated as they left the hall minutes later. Walking a street away, Sue turned to Cana as the female cocked a hip, her eyes burning with questions.

"I'll make this short okay? Myself and Glenn are from an alternate Fairy Tail. We came here to give you the confidence to tell Gildarts you're his daughter"

"Ho…how do you know that?" Cana said in a harsh whisper, her tone unbelieving of the two strangers.

"Our Cana already told her father a two years ago, and you should do the same"

"But…I'm not S-class…he would just see me as weak…probably won't accept me at all…" the woman whispered as Glenn placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Listen, your father is a good man. Maybe a womanizer a bit, but good. I can tell by just seeing him in your hall he would accept you"

"But….why do you care? Your complete strangers to me?"

"I'll level with you. This is our mission for the S-class trials. It was a random chance and we fail if you don't confess in…one hour and twenty three minutes" Sue said as she glanced at her wristband.

"Your bluffing. This talk of alternate universes and other me's is just...BULLSHIT!" Cana said loudly as the two chuckled at her words. Pulling a strange gun as the sound of running feet grew closer, Glenn pointed at an empty space of air. Pulling the trigger as half the guild appeared around the corner, Natsu, Gildarts, Guage, and the others were floored by the spinning vortex hanging in mid air.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" Lucy shouted out as she looked at the two, her pointer finger extended.

"That leads to my universe…so believe us now?" Sue asked the guild lush who simply nodded, her eyes reflecting the beautiful blues and purples.

"This is crazy! And why are they so calm about this! They just opened a portal like it wasn't a big deal at all!" she thought as her mind reeled for the next few minutes. Finally getting her bearings, she glanced at the duo.

"Ah…how should I…?'

"Just say it. And if he's a dick about it, we'll get our Natsu to kick his ass" Glenn stated smugly as Cana nodded. She had to admit, Natsu was pretty strong. Turning to face the crash mage, Cana took a deep breath.

"Gildarts…I… I…" Steadying her nerve, she looked at all her friends and family. They would support her…just like Erza after the Tower of Heaven or Juvia when she joined after the Phantom guild war.

Steeling her resolve as she clenched her fists, Cana's eyes bored into the man.

"GILDARTS! I'M YOUR DAUGHTER! MY MOTHER WAS CORNELIA!"

The mages eyes bugged out at this revelation as they all looked at the crash mage whos mouth was agape and stuttering like a fish out of water. Even his eyes were comically large as he froze in place.

"Wha…wha…I..dad..daughter…I" 'Crash'

'He…he FAINTED! SERIOUSLY!" Cana shouted as her father laid in the middle of the street, his entire body twitching from the implications.

"WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME!" Natsu shouted out as he came over to his friend, wrapping an arm around her shoulder giving the lush a small dusting to her cheeks.

"You…you knew?" she asked softly as her friend gave a cheery grin before tapping his nose.

"You smell similar. Just like parents with their kids in the park. But I thought it would be better if you told him…took your sweet time too! NOW LET'S HAVE A PARTY! We can even invite your two new friends!" the dragon slayer said loudly. Turning to them, he saw them gone, not a single trace of them left as the air gave one last charge of electricity.

"Looks like…they went home…" Happy said softly before landing on Cana's shoulders. "OH WELL LET'S GET ME SOME FISH!" The cat cheered out as the guild laughed, ready to throw a party, leaving the crash mage in the streets as they all headed back to the guild with new topics to talk about….

Universe 10001-G

The spatial co-ordinates were slightly off as Lucy and Grey landed in the middle of the hall, the stupefied looks of many adorning the inhabitants of this universe. Groaning as he sat up, Grey looked at Natsu who was shielding a few of the girls from whatever threat they imagined.

"AHHH! AN EVIL LUCY! AND THAT OTHER GUY LOOKS LAME!" Happy shouted in a panic as he flew about, his voice bouncing off the walls.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" Lucy shouted as her…double? Long lost twin? Whoever. She was standing up now with some unknown man as the two dusted themselves off.

"Stay back luce. You too Erza and Grace" Natsu instructed as he stood in front of his female team-mates, the three women smiling slightly at his protectiveness.

Groaning as she stood up, Lucy H. glared at the flying cat as he continued to panic.

"I'm not evil! I'm from a parallel universe you furball!" She shouted as Natsu cautiously stepped forward.

"A…are you Lucy Ashley from Edolas?"

"No. I'm Lucy Heartfilia from a different Earthland. We used dimension travel to cross here…she finally stopped while looking at the dim-witted look on Natsu's face.

"Uhhh…"

"Just think of me as Lucy's long lost sister" she said in exasperation before Mira pointed a finger at her boyfriend, the male still dusting his clothes off.

"Who's that man with you?"

"Huh? You don't recognize me Mira?" Grey asked before scanning the room for his double.

"No. None of us have ever seen you before" Lisanna replied as she stood near her sister, the two behind the bar.

"That's…odd. Usually I'm in Fairy Tail…" Grey muttered to himself before spotting a woman with long, flowing black hair. She wore dark pants with a blue belt and had a necklace dangling over her sizable chest, the icy blue shirt restraining the mountains of flesh as Grey's eyes widened.

"YOU! IS YOUR LAST NAME FULLBUSTER!" he shouted to the female who blinked slowly.

'Uh…yes?"

"AAHHH! DAMMIT! We ended up in a universe where I'm a woman!" Grey roared out as he clutched his head, his annoyance flowing through the room.

"W…what!?" Grace shouted as she stepped forward, the news too strange for her as she finally started to notice…similarities.

"HeheheheHAHAHAHA!" Natsu started to laugh as he pointed at Grace, the man finding the whole thing humorous. "YOU'RE A BOY!"

"SHUT UP MATCHSTICK!" Grace and Grey yelled in unison, their body language matching as Cana nodded.

"Well…that would prove it right there…but still…I need more booze. This could just be some alcohol nightmare…"

"Gah…why are we even in this universe…" Lucy H. grumbled as Levy walked up, her eyes burning with intelligence and questions. Holding up a hand, the blonde read the mission parameters as Levy halted in her footsteps. "Oh no…No..No…No…NO!" She bellowed before grabbing Grey by the head and showing him the trial they must complete.

"The team must convince the local Lucy and Grace fullbuster to…date Natsu….AH! THAT DICK! SOMEHOW, HE KNEW! THAT FIRE SPEWING BASTARD KNEW WE WOULD END UP HERE!"

"What the hell are you two so mad about!" Erza demanded, her eyes still suspicious of the two as she rested her hand on the hilt of her sword. Hearing a disturbed groan from the two, the beautiful red-head could've sworn a small thunder cloud of depression was over their heads.

Taking a few minutes, the visiting blonde finally spoke as Grey looked away, his eyes not even turning toward his female self. "This is our first level for the S-class trail. We were given random tasks and ours…is…ours…"

"Your up for S-class Lucy? That's so cool!" Wendy cheered out as she sat at the bar with Carla.

"Yeah…the next part doesn't concern me…but this first level…We…WE HAVE TO GET THOSE TWO ON A DATE WITH NATSU!" the celestial mage shouted to her double, Grace and the stunned Natsu who reeled back in surprise.

"WHAT!" As almost the entire guild shouted out as Mira preened with happiness, her matchmaking skills just screaming to help.

"Perfect. Those two are always around Natsu and Erza glances at him as well…I'll lend my support even if this is a crazy day!"

"But…he's always breaking into my apartment!"

"Yeah! And he goes way overboard on missions!" the two women shouted at the blonde as Natsu simply sat down at a table, his mind reeling with confusion. Minutes passed in silence, the strange visitors trying to come up with a plan for the women here.

"Luce…I don't think I can do this…all I'll see is my rival and how to beat him. No way I could convince her to date that idiot"

"MAN UP AND TRY!" She roared at her boyfriend who gulped. Shaking his head, Grey walked forward. 'I feel like I'm going to be sick all over the place…what kind of bastard would even make this happen in the first place…I think God hates me for this…"

"Grace…" Grey uttered as the attractive woman looked at him with wary eyes. She heard the whole thing and knew what to expect.

"Grace…would…wou…would you…go…go…AHHH! I CAN'T DO IT!" the ice mage shouted out once more as his face almost turned green with what he was about to ask her. "Just thank whatever deity there is I don't have to date myself!" But as soon as he had that particular thought…Grey could feel it…the coming sickness.

Letting out a sigh, Lucy H. stood up as her boyfriend ran to the bathroom, the guild moving out of the way. "Honestly…how did I end up loving that idiot? He's been to realities with Natsumi dating Grey and this isn't any different…" the blonde said in annoyance before pointing at the two women in question.

"You two will follow me! I'll give you reasons as to why you should date Natsu!"

"I will follow as well…for…security purposes…" Erza exclaimed as the rest of the guild looked at her oddly.

"Yeah right. You've been in love with Natsu since childhood. You just seem to think romance works like your smut novels….you closet pervert" Many of the women thought, knowing how the knight felt about Natsu for years now.

"In that case I'll help too! After all this could lead to dating and marriage and wonderful babies!" the white haired woman cheered out before glancing at Lucy H. "Oh…and to help you with passing your trial…hehehe…" she said with an awkward laugh as they walked into the guild's library.

"Whatever. I've met enough parallel Mira's to know you want to use this opportunity to get closer to Natsu yourself" the blonde said with a smirk as her friends double blushed and tried to wave her hands frantically.

"No! It's not like that! We…"

"Mira…you all need to listen okay? We already wasted twenty minutes talking and getting off track" Heartfilia stated as she took a seat at a table. Seeing the other four women taking seats also, the blonde nodded.

"Alright. I'm going to give you the rundown on why Natsu ends up with harems all over the multiverse…many with myself, Erza, and Mira. First of all, he has an incredibly pure heart. A heart full of love toward his family and friends. Now imagine that love directed towards you or your future children? It would never waver unless you did something horrible like…cheating on him with Jellal or something. That would be the highest betrayal to him and he'd most likely rather die than deal with that"

"I…I would never do that!" Erza shouted out as the blonde mage held up her hand.

"Please be silent until I finish. Now the second thing. His strength. I'm sure you've all witnessed it at some point? How he keeps getting stronger and more determined? Well if everything goes right in this universe, he will eventually be king of the dragons…as in kills Acnologia. Imagine that…your boyfriend being the king of all the slayers. So strong that not even the wizard saints would mess with him"

"He…he really gets that strong?" Grace asked in wonder and amazement as the other woman nodded.

"He does. The Natsu in my universe is already S-class and capable of destroying a city of about…thirty to forty thousand if he goes all out with his magic…well…maybe with a unison raid with Juvia or Sam…the bitch…" Lucy muttered before waving it off as the other four looked at her oddly.

"Now the last thing…which don't mention to Grey…" She trailed off while the four females nodded. Seeing their consent, Lucy started once more. "You know how Natsu has boundless energy?"

"Yes. He's always starting fights which must be addressed with how much energy he has every day" Erza stated from her spot at the table.

"Well…imagine that energy directed at you in the bedroom? And just so you realize…he's packing nine inches in those pants of his. I've heard plenty of stories from the girls in my reality and many others of his…prowess" Lucy finished as all four females blushed. They were all having identical thoughts right now…of a certain man doing very adult things to them…

"Oh…my…" Mira whispered before standing up. "Those would be excellent points for dating Natsu! Endless love! Strong and brave…and…pleasure…I will claim him! Her trial be damned!"

Unfortunately for Mira, the other three women all had identical thoughts…word for word. Clearing her throat, Erza stood up as she glanced at the door.

"I…just remembered an important task…"

"Same here…I think I left my book in the dryer…" Lucy commented as Grace started to slink toward the door.

"I heard there was a large cock…I mean clock for sale downtown near the Natsu must ravish me shop…" the ice user said softly before springing toward the door.

The guild was talking with the visiting Grey, the man giving Elfman some manly tips and telling Levy of the multiverse when the door to the library burst open, the four women charging across the hall. Poor Gajeel was completely trampled, the females not even noticing as several fresh boot prints appeared on his body.

"NO! HE'S MINE!"

"NO WAY!"

"GET AWAY YOU HARPY!"

"SHUT IT MIRA!" the four women shouted at each other before running up and grabbing a still reeling Natsu.

"NATSU! YOU WILL TAKE US TO DINNER!"

"Wha…?"

"No time! You must give us romance!" Grace shouted as the crazy women started to drag the man across the floor.

"HAPPY! HELP ME!" Natsu pleaded as his friend sat at the bar near Cana, his fingernails digging into the floor.

"Bye Natsu! I'm enjoying a fish Cana bought me!"

"You little…!"

"Come Natsu! I know a place with delicious cheesecake!"

"AHHHHHH!" he screamed as the girls dragged him out of sight.

"Hmph…I don't know if I should congratulate him or curse his name…the lucky punk" Makarov said before looking at the two visitors. "So, what now?'

"Now…" Lucy started to say as the light turned green on her wristband. "NOW WE PASS! LET'S GO SWEETIE!" the blonde jumped for joy as her large chest heaved in her tight shirt.

"I don't even want to know what you said to them" the ice make user mentioned as he used the portal gun to activate the breech.

"Woah…." Levy whispered as the two walked through with a small flash of light. Once it faded a few moments later…the short women vowed to find the means to do the same.

Universe 99991-S

Sam and Knightwalker stepped out of the spinning vortex onto the gray pavement in the commercial district of Magnolia, but the state of the city had the two brandishing weapons in an instant. Scattered newspapers fluttered in the wind as abandoned vehicles littered the roadways. A few distant fires roared out of control as several shops appeared to have been looted. A few random bodies laid strewn about, flies buzzing above them as silence washed over the avenue. Looking in both directions, Sam gripped her lancer tighter as her instincts flared with caution.

"The hell happened here?" Knightwalker exclaimed as Sam held up a hand for silence. Taking careful footsteps, she picked up a few pieces of the local paper as her eyes scanned the sheet.

"Fucking useless…" the brunette exclaimed at the article about a new shopping strip mall near the river.

"What does the mission say?" the huntress asked as she walked over, her laser rifle ready for action.

"All it says is…save Fairy Tail" the gear exclaimed before the soft scuffing of feet could be heard from an alleyway. Spinning on instinct with weapons ready, the two women waited as the staggering footsteps echoed closer from the shaded space between the two buildings.

They didn't have to wait long.

Emerging from the alleyway were five…Sam couldn't describe it without sounding crazy in her own head. They had pink, leathery skin with blood-shot eyes and not a single trace of hair. They appeared to be wearing normal clothes…which were spattered in blood and gore as several bore wounds across their…bodies.

"They…are they zombies?' Erza asked her best friend as Sam shook her head.

"No…not quite…they look like…human sized sausages?"

Hearing another sound behind her, the lightning mage spun as several more emerged from abandoned stores, looted buildings, and other structures. In seconds, the two were surrounded as dozens of the walking sausages loomed closer.

"SHIT! Well no point in staying quiet now!" Sam shouted before opening fire with her lancer. Blowing the brains out of the closest meat stick, the two women started to enact a toll of death on the monsters…but more came on as the minutes passed.

"FUCK! We can't stay in the street! We'll eventually get over-run!" Knightwalker shouted to her friend as she fired two quick laser bursts at the…sausagized forms of two women, their mouths gasping and snarling for her flesh.

"I know that Erza! I've fought shit like this before!"

Looking around, she saw a small gap in the enclosing forces of the infected as her friend continued to fire, the smell of rotting meat and ozone mixing in her nostrils. Summoning an orb of her magic, Sam unleashed the crackling ball of red light toward the north. Slamming into the street, she vaporized a dozen of the monsters as their flesh was seared and vaporized.

"RUN!" Sam ordered as the two women sprinted through the gap, the leathery, pudgy fingers grasping at their armor. Shooting another as it got to close, Sam didn't care if it died or not as the sausage staggered backwards. The two of them needed to reach safety. Running down the street, they didn't stop for anything as the distant screams of the uninfected reached their ears. Moving toward an intersection that would take them to the guild, the two ran past half a dozen of the monsters. They were feeding on Laxus, the man's intestines and guts strewn about the street as a frozen look of horror stared up at the cloudy sky.

The recognizable coat of Freed and the helmet of Bicslow on some of the cannibalistic sausages had Knightwalker guessing what happened to the man and his friends. But, there was nothing to be done now as they jogged past, their heavy boots pounding the pavement as a few of the monsters rose to their feet to give a slow and staggering pursuit.

"Thank god their fucking slow…" Sam muttered as the guild came into sight. Pausing to fire and kill a half dozen of the abominations in their way, the two women killed them with professionalism before resuming their journey as more were drawn toward the sound.

Five minutes later, they were near the guild, but the hundreds of clawing monsters at the gate would be a serious problem as the moans and horrible rasps rang through the mid-day air.

"Shit…" Sam whispered as the crouched down near an overturned magic mobile, the dead driver half crushed under the metal.

"Can't we just use the portal and jump in?" Walker suggested as she kept a lookout.

"And risk one of those things following us to wherever? Nah…we can do this" the Sergeant told her friend before pointing to the right side of the property. A small alleyway could be seen near the high fence, with only two of the monsters staggering around as most were drawn to the front gate.

Nodding in understanding, the two females drew their knives. Slinking slowly and silently between several abandoned vehicles, the professionals drew close. Jabbing her blade into the back of its leathery skull, Erza withdrew her knife as her friend dispatched the other. Approaching the fence as several of the mages inside continued to pile anything that could be used as a barricade to the front, they climbed. In seconds they had scaled the fence, dropping into the shrubbery of the property.

"Don't move" a voice told them from a distance. Looking up, they saw Bisca holding a magical gun in her hands, the woman's voice not giving an inch of compassion.

Slowly standing up, Bisca stayed were she was as her friends continued to barricade the gate as more bodies gathered outside.

"We're here to help" Knightwalker stated as she looked the gunslinger in the eye.

"E..Erza? But your stuck in Crocus with half the guild?"

"Knightwalker actually, but never mind that. What the hell happened here?"

Lowering her weapon slightly, her eyes slightly watered as the hardships of the past few days spilled forth. "It was fucking Ichiya! He came up with some new…parfume for the general populace. Something to have them find their one true love through attraction. Magnolia received the first shipment after Clover Town. It worked at first…but then….it went wrong! Gajeel turned into one of those sausage monsters! He…he ate LEVY! Natsu managed to kill him…but then the whole city was already tearing itself apart! Then…when Jet and Droy were moving her body…she…she came back and killed them!" We locked the gate after that when the king announced a quarantine for the southern part of the continent!" She shouted as Evergreen walked up, tears and trauma in her eyes as Natsu, Cana, Laki, and Kinana continued to pile tables and chairs against the metal fencing.

"Laxus and the rest of the team went to try and find help…but that was a day ago…" the brunette whispered as her green dress showed smudged of grime and dirt.

Deciding to stay quiet about her friends for the time being, the two women moved past the weary survivors as they eyed the snarling sausage zombies outside.

"Sam…"

"Yeah?"

"We live really fucked up lives. I mean…I know of regular zombies…but cannibalistic sausages?"

"I know…this is an eleven on the fucking weird meter"

"So, what should we do? I don't think we can clear a whole city of these monsters in an hour"

"We don't have to. The mission was to save Fairy Tail, not Magnolia" Sam stated before looking at Natsu.

"Have you tried burning them?"

"Ah….yeah. All it does is attract more though and make them walk around while on fire" he said awkwardly as Happy rested on his shoulder. Seeing the fatigue in the man's eyes, she could comprehend a few things of what he's been through. Standing a little bit straighter, the Sergeant went into command mode.

"ALRIGHT! Here's the plan! Myself and Kngihtwalker will get you to safety then reunite you with your friends. So, make sure to get ever…"

'POP! SLURP! POP! POP! SLORP!'

Snapping her head around, the Gears eyes widened in horror at what was happening. The zombified sausages…they were merging together.

"WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK!" Knightwalker yelled out as a group merged into one towering over eight feet tall. Raising her weapon, she unleased a sizzling crackle of fusion energy as the beam of light burned through the monster's head. Dropping dead to the ground with a sickening 'plop' the new monster lay where it fell…but others continued to merge.

"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! I JUST HOPE LUCY'S MISSION IS JUST AS REVOLTING!" Sam shouted before firing off a short burst at another monster that had coalesced. She was joined by Bisca, Evergreen, and the others, the mages lending their own magics to the battle as more of the sausages morphed and formed into large versions. Firing and firing, the stone path to the guild doors was littered with spent magazines and empty fusion cells. Even after another half hour, the relentless growth wouldn't stop as hot lead, laser blasts, and an assortment of magics flew across the area.

Walking backwards as brass casings littered the ground around her, Sam made a horrible discovery as the monster morphed into a zombified phallus over fifty feet tall…her bullets no longer had any effect on its leathery, sausage hide.

"FUCK!" She roared out as her lancer jammed.

Looking down at the morsels of food, the pile of cannibalistic meat saw two women standing out over the others. Reaching down with its slimy hands, it ignored the pin-pricks of magic against its dull pink hide.

"SAM! EVERGREEN! LOOK OUT!" Erza K. screamed as the two looked up.

"Awe shit…" Sam muttered as the hand grabbed her around the waist. Her arms were restrained as she glanced over to Evergreen, the woman panicking as the nightmarish creature brought it closer to its mouth.

"NO!" Natsu screamed out as the two females were flung inside the gaping maw with razor sharp teeth as he and Knightwalker started to build up some magic.

"Ohh…fuck that. Nobody eats my best friend!" the red head yelled as her hands jumped with purple electricity. Slamming an open palm to the ground, she unleashed her favorite move.

"ELECTRIC AVENUE!" She yelled out as Natsu unleashed a dragon roar at the vile nightmare. Hitting at the same time, the purple stream of power ran up the fifty foot body as some of the fire sundered and cracked its flesh…but it didn't feel the pain.

"DON'T LET GO!" Sam shouted down to Evergreen as the woman held on for dear life. Sam had used her combat knife, digging into the side of its esophagus as the flesh tore and bled. Holding onto the blade handle with one hand and Evergreen with the other, the two women knew that falling would mean death into the roiling bile of the stomach below.

The stench and sheer…wrongness of the situation had Evergreen's eyes watering, the smell burning her eyes. But…she would not loosen her grip as this soldier clasped her hand tightly.

"I…I don't want to die!"

"Neither do I! But, I need to know…is there anybody in the hall you like?"

"SERIOUSLY!? YOUR ASKING ME THIS NOW!?"

"YES! AND I'M SURE YOU WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN, RIGHT!?" Sam yelled down to the other woman as sweat started to form on both of their brows. Her arm was burning with strain, the act of maintaining her grip on the knife taxing as viscous liquid started to drip down into her brunette hair.

"Y…YES! I WANT TO SEE NATSU!"

"THEN FUCKING CLIMB UP HERE AND DON'T BE A BITCH!"

Glaring at the soldier even as strands of saliva ran down the side of the interior, Evergreen swung her free arm. Clasping onto Sam's wrist, the woman in green used her feet to slowly but surely wiggle and climb her way up the nauseating throat. After a few minutes, she managed to climb onto Samantha's back as she wrapped her arms around the woman's neck.

"N…Now what?" She asked as her chest heaved with fatigue and exhaustion.

"Now…" Sam started to say as her now free hand crackled with red light and sparks of electricity. Raising her arm, she pointed it upwards toward the brain even as the creature started to buck and weave.

"NOW IT'S KILLING TIME! LASER LIGHT!"

In a flash of magic, a red beam of burning light with traces of crackling power shot from her extended palm. Searing flesh and burning away fluids, the attack was not stopped by anything as it burst through the infected brain of the cannibalistic, fifty foot sausage.

Bursting into the sky, the surviving mages looked on in wonder at the surprise light display.

"Heh…that's my bestie…always pulling off the crazy" Knightwalker chuckled as the beast swayed back and forth. Staggering forward, it crashed into the guild hall as brick, glass, and wood shattered under the weight.

"COME ON! WE HAVE TO GET THEM OUT!" Natsu yelled as he ran through the gaping hole. Coughing on the dust as he waved a hand around him, the dragon slayer was joined by the others as they moved forward. Climbing over a shattered table, he saw the side of the flesh start to surge outward. Hearing the muffled sounds of a chainsaw, the mages stepped back as the side of the fifty foot monster split open, spilling horrible fluids and blood over the guild hall floor. Walking out as ooze and crimson liquid covered her armor, Sam cocked her lancer against her shoulder with a knowing grin.

"Heh…beat that blondie…" she smirked as Evergreen stumbled past the soldier.

"N…Natsu!" she cried out, trying to keep an even footing as she climbed across the rubble. Tackling him to the ground, she surprised the surrounding women as she pressed her lips to the man's.

"OH DAMN! YOU SHOULD FUCK HIM TONIGHT!" Knightwalker teased as the two blushed on the ground. But Evergreen…she ignored it as she continued to lock lips with the male.

"I…I can't hear the moaning anymore…." Laki stated while looking out into the city.

"Do you think…they all morphed into this big one?" Kinana asked softly before glancing at the two visitors. "Wh..what will you do know?"

"Head home. I even had three minutes to spare" Sam smirked while her wristband light turned green.

Watching in confusion as Knightwalker pulled a strange looking gun from a pouch, the mages eyes widened at the spinning vortex before them moments later.

"Who are you people?" Kinana asked in wonder as dirt smudged her face, the female standing in the ruins of the hall.

"Mages of Fairy Tail" Sam said over her shoulder before the two walked through, leaving the shattered guild in silence.

"So cool…I bet I'm super awesome where they come from" Natsu whispered before finding his eyes looking into Evergreens.

"Come on…we still have lots of work to do and people to help" the busty brunette told him simply as they looked at the sun bursting through the clouds.

Universe 298764-FW

Cana and Wendy emerged from the spinning portal onto the polished tile of the floor…and immediately wished they hadn't. The mall the two of them had landed in was crawling with the living dead, the snarling monsters already shambling toward them as the portal closed.

"OH SHIT!" Cana shouted out as she grabbed a series of exploding cards from her deck. Flinging them at the closest infected, they were blown apart in a spray of gore and bloody chunks as Wendy pulled her baseball bat free.

"What kind of shit is this!?" the younger woman yelled out as she swung at the closest zombie, caving in its head as it fell to the floor. Stepping backward, she saw dozens more shambling toward them from all directions as Cana continued to throw cards.

"I dunno! But we need to find a place to get our bearings!" She yelled back to her friend as Wendy caved in several more heads with her trusty bat.

Smashing the knee of a fatter zombie, it fell to the ground as a dozen corpses littered the floor around the young woman. Hefting her bat above her head, Wendy brought it down with a sickening crunch as brain and blood spatter hit her cheeks. Glancing up as dozens of more zombies approached, the fourteen year old made a decision. Inhaling a deep lungful of air, she targeted the fifty staggering corpses approaching.

"Sky Dragon's Roar!" she shouted out as a funnel of wind erupted from her mouth. Pushing outward, the cone of air was strong enough to de-limb the front ranks of the dead as appendages went flying. Staggering and falling to the bloody tile, the remaining dead flailed about as Wendy spotted salvation.

"CANA! FOLLOW ME!" Wendy shouted out while pointing in the distance past the pile of corpses.

Following the pointing finger, the brunette nodded as she started to run, leaving behind dozens of sundered bodies and piles of intestines behind her. Unslinging her Gnasher, the card mage kept pace with Wendy as the two females ran between the small groups of zombies.

'BOOM!'

Firing a blast, the cone of steel balls vaporized the heads of two zombies that had gotten to close for comfort. Resuming their sprint across the plaza as moaning and horrible gasping echoed around the mall, the two reached their destination. It looked to be a modified gold cart with jury-rigged lawn mower blades hanging freely from metal beams at the front. A half eaten corpse sat in the back, the lower body ending at the tangle of eaten and shredded intestines. Climbing in as Wendy took the passenger seat, Cana started the strange vehicle as the blades started to turn.

"GO!" Wendy shouted out as several zombies started to loom closer. Grabbing a few golf balls off the seat, she threw them at the zombies, scoring several headshots as they staggered backwards.

"DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE!" Cana yelled back as she floored it. Lurching forward into the approaching horde of zombies, the lawn-mower blades performed a horrible task as they chopped and eviscerated dozens of shambling bodies. Feeling the blood spray against her face and…chunks she couldn't identify slapping against the small windshield, the older woman drove. Glancing to her right past Wendy, Cana saw a sign that displayed the words 'Caribbean Cove' and a massive wooded ship in the distance. She guessed the pool around the vessel was supposed to be filled with water, but a literal ocean of zombies had filled it. There must have been thousands, staggering and stumbling about as the mixture of horrible wounds blended in with the echoing moans of the undead. "Seriously…this is my first fucking trial? Zombies in a mall?"

"Wendy…what does the mission say?" Cana asked a few minutes later, her adrenaline still spiking after they finally moved away from the large horde. This part of the mall seemed less populated, with only a few small groups staggering around….or eating a poor souls remains.

"Uh…find a laser sword"

Letting out a deep sigh, Cana had a sneaking suspicion that a certain knight was behind this particular trial. Driving forward, she lightly flinched as a few zombies moved into the spinning blades of the golf cart. In a horrendous spray of gore and blood, the two were covered with even more as the looming barricade to the next area approached. Slowing the cart as a dozen of the corpses moved around, the woman couldn't see a way to drive through the narrow gap into the next part of the mall.

Grabbing a golf club from the bag in back, Wendy leapt from the slowly moving vehicle as a trio of undead wandered toward her.

"HOW ABOUT A HOLE IN ONE!" she yelled while swinging the hardened end of the metal shaft into a woman's head. Crumbling as the skull caved in with a sick crunch, Wendy swung toward the next one, a young man in a fast food uniform that was missing part of his right arm as blood caked around a raw wound in his neck.

"Now's not the time for puns!" Cana shouted out while throwing a slicing card from her deck. Flying through the air, it took out half of the undead as their heads came free with a sickening sound. Glancing toward Wendy as she dispatched a fifth with her gold club, Cana could see the weapon bending and warping under the constant use.

"OH SHIT!" the brunette exclaimed as one of the monsters worked its way around Wendy. Glancing toward the floor, she saw a flat screen resting near a few cans of energy drinks and a traffic cone. Grabbing the television with both hands, Cana ran to her friend's aid as it latched a clammy hand onto the girls forearm.

"DIE ZOMBIE!" She shouted while swinging the T.V. downward with crushing force. Cracking under the blow as its skull split in half, the last zombie fell dead to the floor as brain fluid leaked from its eyes.

Shaking slightly, Wendy gave a quick nod to her partner, knowing that words were unnecessary. Dropping the ruined golf club, the fourteen year old pulled her bat free.

"Come on Wendy…lets find that laser sword…in a mall filled…ah…let's just go" Cana said in exhaustion and annoyance. Sure, they haven't done much fighting. But the stress of this universe was taxing. Walking through the barricade that had obviously failed at some point, the older women kept point with her shotgun at the ready. Looking around as the immediate area was clear, she could see a group of undead near a clothing store on her right. To her left was a boutique under construction, the area littered with bloody tools, a chainsaw, and a few zombified construction workers. Up ahead was a defunct escalator, with dozens more of the bloody corpses snarling and walking around as the two tried to think of a solution.

"So…I'm thinking upstairs might be a little safer?" Cana voiced quietly as the construction workers finally noticed the two living humans. Staggering forward under unsure feet, the three men with milky white eyes snarled and rasped as Cana sprang into action. Hefting the butt end of her shotgun, she smashed the closest one in the face as the cartilage crunched, killing it as bone was shoved into its brain. Not wanting to fire her weapon with such large groups nearby, she instead grabbed the claw hammer from the dead man's cold hands as she re-holstered her Gnasher. Swinging it at the second, it embedded into the fat man's temple as blood sprayed across her nose. Yanking it free with a grunt, Cana was ready for the third as it raised its arms in an attempt to grab. Striking downward, the hammer buried itself into the third zombies forehead as flaps of skin hung from its pale cheeks. Collapsing seconds later, she glanced behind her as Wendy covered her rear.

"Thanks for watching my back"

"Yeah…no problem" Wendy waved in dismissal as crimson blood started to dry against her skin and clothes.

Spotting a nearby parasol umbrella against the barricade, Wendy started to form an idea as she spotted the unused chainsaw near the construction site. Walking over and picking up the large parasol umbrella, Wendy walked back to her friend as they stood near the work area. Taking a deep breath, the young woman saw a lone zombie walking toward them, its dead eyes hungry for their soft flesh. Groaning in frustration, the blue haired girl looked for something to eliminate this one zombie as it grew closer. Eyeing a large, lego man head leaning against the wall, the dragon slayer scooped it up before slamming it onto the zombies head. Effectively cut off from all senses of sight and sound, the zombie started to walk in circles with the large toy, helmet on its shoulders as muffled groans echoed from inside.

"I can't believe you just did that. Makes me wish I had my camera" Cana said with a slight chuckle as Wendy took a moment to admire her handiwork with a smile. But, the moment passed quickly as the sky maiden remembered her original plan.

"Say Cana? How would you like to use a chainsaw?"

Looking at the fourteen year old then down to the tool on the ground, Cana smirked. Bending down to pick it up, the brunette hefted it in her two hands before pulling the string to start it. Roaring to life, the buzzing blades hummed as several zombies started to notice.

Leveling the large umbrella toward the shambling hordes of dozens of undead as it quickly merged with the one near the clothing store, Wendy braced her grip on the metal shaft.

"LET'S GO!"

Running forward as Cana kept a close pace, the teenager used the large umbrella as a battering ram, knocking the infected out of the way as the two pushed into the horde. The weight of bodies started to be felt, the constant hammering of the dead against the thin material straining her muscles as she grit her teeth and pushed onward to the escalator.

"DIE ZOMBIE!" Cana screamed out as she swung the chainsaw in a wide arc, cleaving four in half as their intestines spilled onto the floor. Running forward as an obese woman staggered near her, Cana swung the spinning blades in an upward arc. Blood and viscera spraying against her skin, a quarter of the woman fell to the ground before Cana ran onward. Killing and swinging, the brunette probably slayed dozens of the vicious, rotting corpses with her screaming chainsaw as the teeth ate through flesh and bone.

"ALMOST THERE!" Wendy screamed out as the thickest part of the horde was kept at bay by her friend.

Decapitating another two zombies with her heavy weapon, Cana heard Wendy's shout and knew them to be true. Stepping onto the escalator as the parasol finally broke apart, the card mage faced the chasing horde as the chainsaw rumbled in her hands. Wendy was facing the front, eyeing the group of undead at the top of the stairs as they started to descend and trip over each other to get them.

"SKY DRAGON'S ROAR!" the shorter girl bellowed, blowing the undead away as more rotting bodies were torn and sundered apart. The funnel of wind had done its job, clearing the top landing of most of the zombies as Cana continued to chainsaw and eviscerate the corpses chasing them. The stalled escalator was now clogged with chopped and ruined bodies, the work by Cana slowing them down.

'Put…put..putter…'

The chainsaw died, mostly likely out of gas as it froze in mid strike, half buried in a burly man. Seeing it useless to hold on, Cana simply let out a front kick with her replacement leg as the boot collided with the corpse. Falling backwards, it was almost like dominoes as the snarling creatures fell in a tangle of limbs and snapping jaws at the bottom of the stairs.

Racing to the top of the stairs, Cana's chest heaved as Wendy did the same, their faces dripping with sweat and blood.

"Shit!" Wendy cursed as more zombies could be seen in the distance ahead of them. Glancing to her left, she saw a small group of ten staggering out of a toy store, some tripping over their own intestines as they swung in the open air.

"FUCK IT!" Cana yelled out as she fired her shotgun into the mass of flesh. Steel balls of shot tore and ripped through dead skin and bone, blowing apart heads and limbs as she pumped five shells into the small horde. Not bothering to reload as more staggered near, the mate of Natsu picked up a wooden bench and hefted It above her head. Letting out a grunt as she threw it, the bench shattered against a group of four before Wendy ran up a finished them off with gruesome blows to the head with her metal bat.

"THIS WAY!" Wendy yelled as more of the undead approached from the north. Running southward along the second floor. The two females weaved in and out of the grasps of lone zombies, not even bothering to attack the loners. Most of the stores looked ransacked, most likely by people when this horror first started as a few zombies could be seen walking around inside or feasting on flesh.

"In there!" Cana pointed out to a jewelry store that looked relatively clear. Running inside as a few monstrous infected noticed them from a distance, the duo of women ran to the back as they tried to catch their breath. Pausing to reload her shotgun, Wendy started to search the cashiers counter as the zombies outside started to wander closer.

The corner of her eye caught something blue on a lower shelf as she looked. Moving back, Wendy pulled out the…blueprint as Cana sent a few slicing cards at the zombies that had wandered in.

Unrolling the sheet, the sky Maidens eyes widened at the title. 'How to build a laser sword'

"Cana! Look!" Wendy pointed out to her team-mate at the brunette peered over her shoulder, her skin sticky with blood.

"Wha…gather jewels and anything electronic to make a laser sword? No way that will work!" she exclaimed as Wendy glanced around. Spotting a bag of jewels left on the counter near a computer screen, she walked over as she picked them up.

"Your wasting you time Wendy. The laws of physics won't let you just…build a laser sword from a bag of jewels and a computer"

Thirty seconds later…

The blade hummed to life in Wendy's hands as it gave of a red glow, the light crackling with lethality as she smiled.

"I don't fucking believe it….can you make another one?" Cana asked as Wendy gave a nod. Destroying the glass of a display case, the young girl soon had three laser weapons sitting on the counter. Grabbing one and putting it into her pouch, the two women each picked another up as a horde gathered at the front of the store.

Pressing the button, the two blades sprang to life with a thrumming blue and purple. Looking at the shambling corpses, the two gripped the weapons in their hands.

"Oh…I'm so using this right fucking now" Wendy exclaimed as the first undead came into range. Swinging, the blade of light burned through the torso as the body fell in two halves.

"LET'S KILL THESE UNDEAD FUCKS!" Cana roared out as the two women charged into the mass of bodies. Swinging and slicing, limbs flew free and wounds cauterized from the intense heat as the two women burned off serious amounts of stress. Killing and eviscerating the bodies, the duo made quick work of the dozens of walking corpses as they found themselves standing among a pile of the dead.

"Ah…no way I would let Erza be first to use this…" Cana gasped out as her purple blade hummed.

Looking around, the area was completely free of threats as Wendy glanced down at her wristband. The light had turned green, indicating the mission was complete as a few strands of flesh sat in her hair.

"Cana…lets get out of here…okay?" Wendy asked as the older woman nodded. Pulling her portal gun from her pocket, Cana input the co-ordinates as the two walked into the shimmering breech. Soon, the mall in Willamette was silent except for the moaning of the undead…

Fairy Tail guild hall.

Natsu was with the others not participating in the trials as he glanced at Erza. Cana and Wendy were the last to finish, the portal gun shifting each team to the next part of the trail thanks to a certain modification.

"Erza…did you know they would be walking into that hellscape?" Natsu asked his knight as she looked away awkwardly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about"

"GAH! This just proves I need to get stronger to fight the flat chest!" Meredy shouted out as she watched her rival overcome hordes of the undead. She had to admit…it was pretty badass.

"Have to admit though, those two were quite ingenious getting around the hordes….to bad about my double in that…sausage universe" Laxus mentioned with a scowl.

"At least Sam and Knightwalker managed to save the rest?" Lisanna mentioned to her boyfriend while handing out some drinks to her friends.

"I am a little…concerned about Levy and Bisca though. I know we have standing orders to kill those mercenaries wherever we can, but developing a gun to just kill thousands of those men? Not to mention…the torture? Do you think she's ready for S-Class Natsu?" Makarov asked the man as he nodded.

"You know how much she hates those guys. I figure they got what they deserved. But I'm really curious as to why….YOU HAD EVERGREEN AND ELFMAN STEAL PORN FROM GILDARTS!? WHAT KIND OF FIRST TEST IS THAT!?" Natsu roared at the old man as the crash mage scowled at the end of the bar.

"He's right old man! Some of those are vintage!" the father of Cana shouted while finishing his beer.

"AH! Well you see…" the master sweated a bit before snapping his fingers. "I mean…you saw how well Lucy and Grey did right?" he stuttered out, trying to shift the conversation as Natsumi glanced at the master.

"I'm surprised she got them to agree so fast" Kinana mentioned as she sat near Hisui, the two having talked quite a bit as they watched the first stage of the trials.

"Hmph! She should have gotten the other Juvia to join in the harem. Ah…Juvia will just have to go there later and set things right"

"That will have to wait Juvia. We need to get ready for whoever makes it to our respective battle chamber's" Erza instructed as she stood up from her table with Juvia following moments later. Skipping over with a smile, the rain woman planted a kiss on her boyfriend's lips with her angelic face brightening the room.

"Make sure to watch Juvia!" she said before leaving the hall with Erza and Gildarts, the three heading out into the city toward their future destination.

"Where are they going to be fighting anyway?" Mira asked her boyfriend as she took Erza's old spot next to Natsumi as the exceeds talked about the trials so far.

"An old warehouse in downtown Magnolia. It's slated for demolition anyway, so it doesn't matter if they tear the shit out of it"

"Well, myself and Millianna did coat the fighting rooms with magic absorbing material…still should've been picked…" Gajeel grumbled as his girlfriend tried to sooth his bruised ego with an affectionate pat on the back.

'I just wonder who will end up winning?" Hisui asked with a questioning tone as her lover shrugged, his broad shoulders admired by the queen.

"Whoever it is, will end up earning it after fighting Natsu!" Romeo cheered out, silently praying he could one day be as strong as his personal hero.

After that, the remainder of Fairy Tail settled down into quiet conversations as they all enjoyed some light snacks, drinks, and the prospect of soon having two more S-class mages in the guild.

The battle warehouse.

The portal had taken them to a small room with very few furnishings. A single bulb hung down from the ceiling, casting insidious shadows as mildew collected at a few corners of the room. A nearby table with a lacrima screen sat in the corner near a door that appeared to be locked, the hinges rusting with age. Two bottles of water sat on the level surface of the table while a sign pointed to where she could place her weapons and armor.

Shrugging, Sam started to unbuckle her gear and set her various weapons down as Knightwalker did the same.

"I thought we would end up in the hall?" the red head asked as Sam removed her chest plate.

"Probably some crazy mod to the portal gun for the trials. I'm not too concerned since we did end up back in one thirty seven-C" the trial taker replied as she finished taking off all her armor, leaving her in just combat boots, black cargo pants, and a dark, gray tanktop that hugged her breasts.

"Think all the others made it this far?"

"If they failed at stage one, then they suck" Sam told her friend with a laugh before grabbing a bottle of water. Tossing the other to her friend, the two drank greedily as the blood and grime still coated her hair and skin. She still couldn't believe she was actually eaten by a fifty foot sausage less than an hour ago as her mind slightly wandered. "Too bad for that other Evergreen…losing her whole team to some damn perfume virus shit" she thought before the lacrima screen sprang to life. Appearing was Kinana and her delicate features as the two Happy's crowded nearby.

"Hello everybody! I'm happy to say that you all passed the first stage! But now, you will find yourself in a tiny room with only one exit" The barmaid said happily with a smile before continuing. "Hopefully by now you've all removed any armor, weapons, portal guns, or any other technology. If you haven't, please remove them now" she instructed as one of the Happy's took over the screen, the two women watching intently.

"Anybody using weapons, lethal hand to hand combat, or killing magic will mean your instantly disqualified! This is a contest between friends and family so please don't forget that!"

"YEAH! And if you get knocked out you lose! Only three teams will advance to face Gildarts, Juvia, and Erza! So everybody…DO YOUR BEST!" The two cats and woman said with a cheer before the screen cut out. With that done, the door unlocked with an echoing 'thud' Approaching the heavy metal door, Sam pushed it open on squealing hinges as her friend followed her into the large, square chamber. There was nothing in the room except bare metal walls, a few dirty skylights, and a cracked, tile floor. A heavy door was set in the wall to her left while an identical door was directly across from them.

Swinging open a few seconds later, Lucy and Grey stepped out. Eyes instantly locking across the fifty foot room, the two rivals started to crack their knuckles in anticipation as a stifling silence took over the area before Grey finally spoke.

"Well. Shit"

And here is chapter 37! Ah…I originally wanted to do everything for the trials in one chapter, but there was just too much! So..it's split into two. Sorry if that bums you readers out, but I want to give everybody a fair amount of screen time. But I want you to know that the winners have been pretty much decided by me so please don't give suggestions okay? I know your trying to help, but realistically, any of the mages picked could easily be S-class in other universes so you'll just have to wait and see.

Anyway! I hope you enjoy the first level of the trails and curing Zeref! And if your wondering about Levy's enemies, they were made by Unknown Legion in the falling fairies arc. If you read that…you'll understand why she was torturing them. As for the rest, I hope you enjoy and find it in your awesomeness to review!

Zeref: So…how did this cure work again?"

Levy: Oh…I wouldn't worry about that!

Zeref: Why are you twitching?

Levy: Um…too many energy drinks?

Mavis: Just remember to get working on making me have a body again!

Levy: How could I forget…you just phase into the bathroom when I'm showering…LIKE A WIERDO!

Mavis: YOU'RE THE ONE TALKING WITH A GHOST!

This is thehappy signing off!