The Mission
Chapter 36: My lonely birthday

And the day is here, the 20th; my birthday, this day have always brought sorrow. It is not that it is one week before my family's anniversary of their death, no. It is because I have always thought that birthdays are days when you are supposed to be with your family and friends. I have always pictured how I'm a little kid and my mother placing a birthday cake in front of me with the exact amount of candles as how old I become. Seeing how my brother blows out the candles instead of me blowing them out and my parents laughing at my silly face. I can't help but wishing it every year at my birthday. It has always been an impossible dream of mine.

I was currently alone in my room at Stein's all squeezed together in the corner of my bed. My birthdays aren't a big hit for me. I would rather go on like it was a usual day than throw parties or anything, if I can't celebrate with my parents and brother… I don't know what to do then. It feels wrong to party with my friends since Maka is not here and I'm just simply not in a mood. I have just simply never been the social guy before Maka tagged along and now it all feels wrong and I'm so confused. Maka's words in the alley had been so cold and rough but there is still a part of me that thinks it was just and act but I know it wasn't.

Maybe her words were true. My looks aren't exactly like someone else that I know. I look scary and I know some people think of me like that person they don't want to meet in a dark alley at night, but why me? Isn't it enough I lost my parents and older brother? Do they have to curse me with monstrous looks and this scar? I guess I already know the answer since I already have all those things.

Sighing, I laid sprawled out on my bed. ''I guess I'm just poison to this world.'' Nothing in this world had I accomplished if you don't count whipping countless of witches out but there is just one witch I won't be able to kill… I won't ever be able to kill her even how much she hates me and despises me. There is just no way and I end her.

Who am I even trying to fool? The moment my family got slaughtered I got alone and solitude has always been the answer for me. I'm not that kind of person who fits into groups. Being alone is what I do best.

Sitting up on my bed, I reached for my ipod and started to listen to jazz. Listening to the different kind of jazz made me think of the time before Maka, the time when I had tried to avoid everyone as well as I could and just tried to stay out of the gang's conversation but they had somehow always stayed with me even if I was grumpy.

A snort escaped my throat. Black*Star had always been the one to hang onto that little thread of social life that I had. I guess without Black*Star I wouldn't know where I would be. He is the same as me, he lost his parents by an early age and somehow he isn't driven by hatred toward the academy for slaughtering his entire clan. How come I am driven by hatred toward the witches then? How is Black*Star different from I? He has such energy and life to life and he doesn't ever mope around like this how I do. How come he is happy but I'm not?

Is it because that he united with his enemy or is it because he simply forgave the academy? I mean, I could never forgive the witch who took my family's life. There is just no way it is possible.

If I continue to think like this I will get a headache. It just feels like the universe is against me. I feel so useless. I hadn't managed to keep Maka by my side and with all this crap going on it is just breaking me slowly.

Violently shaking my head, I sat straight up in the bed and ripped my plugs out of my ears, stopping the jazz from being heard in my ears. I can't think like that. I have to be strong, not just for Maka. I am Soul Eater Evans, the leader member of Spartoi, the most skilled student in fighting. If something is going to beat me, it is in a battle and not sorrow or pity. I'm not going to drown in my own self-pity.

A smirk grew on my lips as I jumped off my bed. This birthday is going to be different. I'm still not going to celebrate but I will so something other than barricading myself in my room. No, I'm going to go out and take a walk and clear my head.

Immediately getting out of my room, leaving my ipod on my bed, I could still hear the sound of Marie typing on her computer, continuing her research. Stein wasn't in the living room or kitchen so I bet he was down in his lab and dissecting something.

I had told them to not do anything at all for my birthday and for once they actually listened. I hated when they threw surprise parties or tried to do anything special for my birthday. My birthday will always be as any other day.

Leaving the house, I started to walk down the streets of Death City. It felt weird being back in the city without Maka. I thought as soon as we would find her she would be grateful for fighting for her but instead she had attacked us. When we then had returned to Death City and report to Lord Death, he cancelled our mission and told us Maka is obviously not on our side and has never been. He ordered us as soon as we would see her again, we would attack. No mercy toward her, Lord Death wanted Maka to disappear from Death City and never to come back after her betrayal. He had given her a chance to come back but she had blown it.

It wasn't right but I can't go back on Lord Death's orders but I can't either ignore my feelings for her. She needs my help and she needs to come back to Death City where she belongs. I don't care that she says she belongs with witches; Death City had become her home.

Without knowing it, I had walked to the forest to the exact spot where I had seen Wes for the last time before he died, the spot where he put me into a secret compartment and disappeared.

The rock was still in place and without even thinking; I kneeled down in front of it and removed the rock. There it was opened packages of sweets and candy. I knew Wes had been a sweet tooth and by the time Stein and I had seen how the night my family was killed, I had seen exactly these packages of cookies and candy but it gave me a new feeling seeing it in real life; fully awake.

It was mixed emotions seeing the expired cookies and how ants climbed up the packages and carried pieces of the cookies away. It made me sad but also a little happy seeing a piece of Wes was still left by this tree.

''I'm glad I found you,'' I quickly turned around and saw Marie. My eyes widen at the sight of the blonde haired woman. She hadn't left her office since the day I had told them everything I learned from Medusa. She had only left her office to go to the bathroom since Stein brought her every meal to the office so she wouldn't starve.

''Marie, what are you doing here?'' I asked politely as I blocked the rock from the secret compartment.

''I was looking for you, I found answers to your questions,'' she held out her hand toward me, ''come, I want to show you them.''

Without any hesitation, I grabbed Marie's hand and she immediately started to walk deeper into the forest. We went deeper and deeper into the forest than I have ever been in.

''We are almost there,'' Marie said as she continued to drag me deeper into the woods.

''Marie, what are we looking for?'' Marie smiled as she then suddenly stopped and moved away a branch and then an old white mansion came into view. The grass was high and the mansion sure would need a repaint.

My eyes were wide and my heart skipped a beat and then it just started to race. Something in my mind trigged and I could see my father and Wes running around on the front yard while my mother rocked a little baby in her arms, giggling at my dad and brother.

''Welcome home,'' Marie whispered and without knowing it, tears were trickling down my cheek.

This feeling, it is the feeling of being wanted. I knew this is my home and where I belong. This is my mansion I should have lived in if my family didn't die.

Slowly, my feet carried me closer and closer to the old mansion. In the front yard were a tree with a swing on and a porch with a table on it. The mansion itself was like a huge magnet to me. I couldn't take my eyes off it.

My fingertips caressed the railing of the porch as I got up on the porch. ''Marie… how come you never took me here..?''

Marie slowly walked up the porch after me but kept plenty of space between us, ''because we didn't know how you would react about this place. We didn't know if you would be happy or angry.'' She walked up to me and grabbed my hand, placing a silver key in it and then closing my hands around it. ''You understand we never wanted to hurt you or make you ever sadder. We thought if you saw this place, you may have become even more down and depressed.''

I smiled wide as I looked at the key in my hand. ''Don't worry Marie. The only thing I'm feeling is happiness being around this house. I can feel this place calling for me.''

She smiled and then caressed my cheek. ''Your mother and father would be proud of you. I have seen you grow up all these years but you have never been this grown up before yet, I can still see the little baby Stein and I took in.'' Tears of joy ran down her cheeks, ''I'm so glad I got to watch you grow up. You mean so much to Stein and I.''

I'm moved with Marie's words. I always knew words are the most powerful thing in this world and Maries' words touched me deeply. Her words grasped something inside of me.

Tears ran down my face as I pulled her into a tight hug. Marie had always been there for me and her actions spoke clearer than words. She had closed herself into her office and tried to get answers for all of my questions.

''Don't cry Soul. You will always be like my own son. I promise you I will always try to protect you in every way possible.'' Marie sobbed as she hugged me back, caressing my hair.

''I know…'' I buried my head in her neck, her golden hair tickling my face. ''But I can't help to feel so grateful to you and Stein. I wished I could see you and Stein as my mom and dad.''

Marie chuckle a little as her tears wet my hair. ''I don't want you to replace your biological parents with us. I want you to trust Stein and me to talk about anything because we will always be here and we will think of you as our own son. You don't need to see at Stein and I as parents. All I want is for you to remember you are always welcome to visit us or live with us. Stein and I love you as our own son and our love will be eternal.''

Through Marie's little speech, I smiled wide as tears continued to trickle down my face. ''You have no idea how happy Stein and you make me.''

She pulled away and took my hand, ''believe me, I know.''

After our moment on the porch, I wiped away my tears and opened the door. The door gave away a loud creak as we both stepped inside of the mansion. Marie turned to me, looking dead serious.

''I have found the answers what happened that night when your parents died and why. I know about the truth behind that scar of yours and the first weapon. Are you one hundred percent sure you want to get your answers to these questions?''

My heart beat harder in my chest. My fingers tingling with excitement and my face were dead serious. ''Believe me I'm sure. I need to know this.''

Marie nodded and inside of the living room. The inside of the mansion was extremely dusty, all the furniture were covered with a thick layer of dust. Some things were broken, lying forgotten on the ground.

Inside of the living room were the coffee table flipped over, a lamp lying on the ground crooked. Picture frames lay on the ground with the glass broken, ''Soul.'' Marie caught my attention. She was standing in the middle of the living room. ''This is the room where the witch killed your parents.'' Immediately I got Goosebumps on my neck and the room felt cold and uncomfortable. ''But I'm not going to start explaining things here. You need to know what your parents knew.'' She turned on her heel and walked out of the room. I was almost relieved being out of that room but the mansion still had the feeling of comfort and warmth in it.

Marie walked up a stairway and I followed her suit. She opened a door and we stepped inside of what looked like an office, although, this room was less dusty. It wasn't as untouched as it was in the living room.

''When I researched about that night, I hit a dead end and I figured, something in this mansion might help me of what happened that night,'' she stopped and empathized the next sentence, ''or a motive for the witch to attack.''

I nodded, showing I was following her in her story. ''What I found has a connection to the first weapon. Your mother and father had been studying about the first weapon and their research was almost completed. They just had one important piece in the puzzle mission.'' She pointed to my chest, ''your scar.''

Without knowing it, I clenched my shirt just above my scar, ''what do you mean?''

''What I mean is that since you were a baby, you didn't have your scar.'' She carried on where she left off. ''Your parents were worried about you since you have a strong connection to the first weapon. Your favorite toys were exactly like the first weapon and so were your looks. Your parents grew afraid that you might turn exactly like him but they would never let anything happen to you even if you would go berserk. Their love for you was too strong since they chose to take the risk.''

My heart skipped a beat. My parents must have loved me a lot to let someone like me stay alive.

''They loved you so much they researched for a way to take away the curse over you. The curse don't sit in your body or anything, it is in your scar you have obtained. Didn't you say your scar ached every time you fell into the madness?''

I nodded. This is overwhelming. This is the information I have been searching for since I can remember; the mystery behind my parents' death and now recently with the first weapon.

''Your parents could never find anything for the madness magnet since you didn't have it just yet. You can't cure anything you haven't caught yet so there was nothing your parents figured out about the madness magnet inside of your scar. All they knew was that when your body would be in contact of great madness, your madness within you would awaken this magnet inside of you.''

Immediately I recalled the time inside of the book of Eibon when that big madness creature had given me madness and this scar was born. I would detest that day forever but I couldn't quite help it since I did save Black*Star.

''That is when the witches started to grow suspicious. They of course know everything about Arachne's research about turning humans into weapons. She is a plague to their history.'' Marie took a seat on the desk.

My legs grew a little tired of standing so I leaned my back to the wall. ''The first weapon was of course a failure. She had managed to make him able to transform him into a weapon but he was feed with the wrong souls. He was feed with human souls and that is how the madness magnet was born. His thirst for power grew stronger and he noticed the little amount of madness in the air. He learned how to channel it and his scar was born. He managed to channel the madness through his scar and that is when he went mad.''

All this information was running around crazily in my head. This is the first time I had thirsted for information and not just any information.

''You fighting Arachne was no coincidence. The witches had grown tired of her and send her to her death; you, but that was not enough to the witches you see. Almost sixteen years ago, the witches grew afraid of the threat you could pose against them and they send a witch to eliminate you.''

My heart beat faster, this is it the information I had wanted so badly.

''Your parents stood in the way since they refused to give you away and the witch killed them but what the witch didn't know that your parents had two sons.'' She paused and the silence was killing me. My heart beat faster and I moved closer, getting more and more into her story.

''The witch thought Wes was you so when he had hid you inside of the tree, the witch found him not far away from your hiding place and killed him. The witch didn't know you survived and I think it is best to assume she knows you are still alive. Chances are that at the anniversary of your family's death… she wants to finish what she started.''

Marie got off the desk and walked up to me, cupping my face. Her seriousness dropped and she looked at me soft and motherly. ''That is why I want you to stay home when you know what happens. I don't want you to be in any sort of danger.''

I sigh as I eased into Marie's touch. There is just no way I could stay out of this fight. This fight happened because of me and if this witch is going to be there, so am I, beside, I have to save Maka. She still has to come home to Shibusen. There are too many reasons for me to be in the front lines at the battle and too few reasons to stay behind. I knew there is a big possibility I won't return home by the end of the day but I have to do this, for the sake of my family and Maka.

''I appreciate your concern…but I have to do this. Maka and that witch will be there. I have to do this for my family and Maka.'' Marie sighs and looked down at the ground in defeat.

''I knew you would say that… Stein and I will be there to support you. If I think you are fighting a losing battle, I will stop you and pull you out of there, got it?'' She looked serious but she could just not keep that playful smile away.

I smiled back at her, nodding. ''Got it, we won't lose.''