Saudade: a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, loved and lost

Chapter 36

"So where is she?" Ayato crossed his arms.

"At school. As a matter of fact, she took it on herself it seems to teleport there." Reiji sighed.

"How do you know?" Ayato asked.

"I basically run the school." Reiji put his glasses up on his nose. "These are the benefits of doing your school work and having power. Capitalizing on our father's sway in these things can be beneficial."

"Teleport? Are you saying she can go long distances..." Subaru looked to his brothers. "This soon? None of us can do that?"

"Founder blood." Shu said rather bluntly as he remained laying in the limousine.

"We have founder blood too. How do you think I got to all of our estates so quick..." Ayato crossed his arms. He and his twins had some of their mother in them too, whether or not they liked it.

"She's avoiding us." Kanato said as he looked out the window. "She couldn't leave before... she's not supposed to leave, is she?"

"She's deciding. She's had nearly all our blood, now hasn't she? Kanato, dear brother, do you want her too?" Laito cocked his brow, resting his chin in his hand.

Kanato's eyes flickered for a moment and then they returned to the window, clutching his Teddy closer.

"Forget it. The point is she's more powerful than we think." Subaru crossed his arms annoyed with his brother's ambiguity.

"But...she's not feeding. And if she teleports too consistently without a good dose of human blood she's going to do herself in." Reiji said. "We need to provide."

"One of us does." Ayato crossed his arms.

"However, do we wish to save her or her blood? Anyone feel bold enough to say they've come to that conclusion yet?" He looked to his brothers, his eyes landing on Ayato. "On the other hand, apparently, the council at the school has reported that your lovely decision to shank your fellow classmate has been dismissed on the grounds that, I told them, he was harassing our Yui. It took some persuasion but, frankly, I didn't do it for you. I did it to make a point that we, as a family, are still untouchable. And...I have to admit... I hate to think of Yui being soiled by someone like that. I really can understand to an affect why our father uses such Machiavellian power dynamics. Machiavelli was such a brilliant man, especially considering he published something so profound and never was found out to be a vampire. Fear works does it not?"

"So you don't want Isamu to touch her but you're not apposed too all of us sharing her? Some kind of family we are." Ayato looked peeved again and went to leave.

"You did the damage first. You started this." Subaru reminded him as he left the limousine.

Yui looked around. She wondered if Isamu was okay? He was rotten for doing what he did...but...it seemed he had a bad go with Sakamaki brother's father. Or his father did at least.

She looked around the school. It was still early. She was surprised when she'd managed to teleport to school right away. But frankly she needed time alone.

She walked into the classroom. Ayato and Kanato weren't there yet. She noticed Isamu's seat remained empty. However, Hitoshi was there.

"Uhm...Hitoshi..." She stepped over to his desk. Luckily not many others were around yet.

Hitoshi's gaze peered up at her, as he had his head rested on the desk. "What else could you want?" His eyes were stone cold. He always seemed like he had an academic streak about him, the way he took their classes so seriously. But Isamu was the opposite – a rebel. They were an odd fit.

"...I didn't know about Isamu's father. I didn't want Ayato to hurt him. In fact, I told him not to...and then Isamu tried to bite me...well he did, actually. Ayato only wanted to protect me...he didn't kill him, did he?"

"You tried to stop him? Well that's great and all but no." He scoffed. "We won't die from that. It takes a silver sword or something much more serious than a branch."

"I'm happy. I really am not used to being like this...I hate death...and I hate that others like my blood even now..."

"So that's it?" Hitoshi rose a bit in his chair. "They want you for your blood still. All that protection? It's all because you're their eternal blood bank? I'm not as dumb as Isamu was to try and bite you but I don't need to. I feel pity for a little vampire girl like yourself. They didn't transform you because you're special or even to grant you the freedom we have as vampires. They did it so you'd be their little juice box. You don't see the freedom we have...we can do what we like as vampires. We are enticing and we can consume a person whole. We are predators. Top of the food chain as far as anyone around here is concerned." His eyes looked darkly to her. "You will never feel happiness because you're stuck acting as their plaything...eternal blood bank, eternally fuc-"

Her eyes widened. She stepped back. Right into someone.

Ayato and Kanato had just entered the class.

"Keep that up and you'll end up like Isamu." Ayato's brow raised. "She's not a damn play thing. In fact, she's got founder blood like me, so you damn well better realize what you're saying."

"Let's go." Kanato suddenly grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the class with his Teddy in the other.

"Is that really what you tell her?" Hitoshi said. "Everyone knows she's nothing but a human you guys want to keep around, obviously longer than any of the others. Isamu told me she tastes good still too. And that means that either he's made for her or..."

"So you've figured it out. Well good, because there is one thing my brothers and I will not stand for and that is letting anyone near her. Not because she's a damn blood bank either." Ayato scoffed. His hand went to Hitoshi's neck and grabbed onto his shirt. Although Hitoshi was a bit taller, Ayato's grip was iron clad. "She is the next heiress to the Sakamaki reign so you better start considering where you want to be when we take over.'

"Entitled. What would happen if someone ever stole all this power from you?"

"We'd take it back."

"Did she really try and stop you from killing Isamu?"

"She did. And he still bit her. Without asking. She's not human she's one of us. Unless you feel comfortable biting someone in this class without asking..." Ayato crossed his arms.

Hitoshi got it. That would be like kissing someone without any warning...like saying you wanted someone right to their face in the most intimate way. Like going to third base instead of first. He sighed. "Fine. Just tell your damn father to stop killing our parents."

"I don't talk to the bastard." Ayato turned away and left the room. Now where the hell did Kanato bring her?

"Kanato where are you bringing me?" She ran with Kanato pulling her by her wrist.

He pushed her forward and she backed into a tree. They were in the yard outside of the school.

"Why did you teleport and leave without us?" Kanato's voice almost sounded like a whisper.

"I-I needed some time to myself..."

"But you need to tell us. Or me." His violet eyes stared at her wide.

"I thought you hated me ... you..." She was surprised by this.

"I thought you hated us when you left. And then you returned and Teddy was burned because of you...but...I like the way you look when you're scared."

"I'm not scared. I'm the...I'm the same as you now. Kanato I'm not sure you could actually like me, I think you just-"

"What?" His eyes grew wide.

"Oh." She squeaked. "I just mean...if you had to choose between me and your Teddy who would you choose?"

His eyes grew wider. When he looked from his Teddy to her he just got strangely still. "You said we all get a chance to try..."

"I-I did. But you didn't answer me Kanato?" She looked at him.

He stepped forward and grabbed her wrist again. She went to remove it but she thought for a moment. It was true; all the brothers wanted to have a fair share of time with her.

She flinched as he bit. She didn't know why? It didn't hurt like it did before...but she felt like Kanato still was not the one for her...his Teddy scared her. It wasn't natural that it returned somehow...and what had happened before...it was like they were alive...

Suddenly she felt herself go dizzy.

She shouldn't go dizzy. She was a vampire now...

"Kanato something is wrong..."

"Let me have my turn." His lips went away for a moment just to muster his protest.

"No... I'm serious..." She closed her eyes just damn wishing to get away from here.

She opened them.

She was just outside their property. Was this her idea of getting away? Then why wasn't she farther away? She had teleported with Kanato still near her which surprised her. It seemed as if it would be much harder than it was.

She stumbled a bit. What was wrong? She was a vampire, not some fledgling or human...she shouldn't feel this bad, should she? She leaned forward. Her mouth was burning.

She needed blood. But- Kanato...

"Hey? Yo, something wrong with you?"

She turned to see a guy whom happened to be walking on the street come closer.

"Why are you on this street?" She'd never seen anyone else around their house before.

"I motor cycle on this road...speaking of, what's a girl like you doing on this street? Don't you know that house is haunted?" His voice taunted her. He didn't seem interested in her faint spell but rather playing hero.

She recalled what Reiji told her but it seemed so strange. She couldn't bite this guy...he was way too creepy.

"I know it is..." She looked to him.

"Really? A girl who likes haunted houses...that sounds fun. You like a bit of thrill, don't you?"

"Actually I-" She could smell it. It didn't smell as good as the brother's blood did but it still made her thirsty.

"Hey, why don't we take a ride on my motor cycle? I bet that will give you a thrill?" He grabbed her arm.

"Please don't do this. Just leave me here." A part of her cringed knowing she might bite him. The idea of her biting someone so foreign...and where it might lead if she was this thirsty.

"You got a ghost fetish or something?" He pulled her closer and grabbed her waist.

"No you don't understand..." She felt her gums throbbing, like her teeth were pulsating. She felt a similar feeling of a pain deep in her chest – except her heart didn't pulse.

"Your kind of cold."

She felt her vision blur. Damn. She was too weak for this. Why was she so helpless... she couldn't help but want to be a good person but...if she fainted in this man's arms who knew what he would do...

"You got her fetish wrong. It's not ghosts, its vampires."

Suddenly the back of the guy's head lolled as he fell to the ground hitting the pavement with a crack.

She blinked and saw Ayato just as she stumbled forward nearly tripping on the man's body.

"You can't teleport everywhere like this without drinking blood. I'm kind of sick of picking up your ass every time you screw up okay?"

"I-I'm sorry..." She clenched her fists.

"Go inside." He said shortly.

She stumbled over to the gates.

He groaned and picked her up and teleported himself inside. He disappeared after putting her on the couch. The same couch she first met him on.

She laid back. She was lousy at this. All of it. Ayato, really, probably hated her now anyway. She was just a human in a vampire's body now.

How could she learn to kill to survive? It didn't seem right.

And she was causing so much strife deciding who she wanted beside her. If she could. She didn't know what brother would be best to take over the family, and she had no clue who really cared...it was hard to decode.

If more than one of them did...she'd cause strife. She didn't want to become someone like Cordelia.

Suddenly she noticed Ayato was in front of her again.

She stood up. She needed to confront him about this. "Ayato I-"

Suddenly his mouth was on hers. She blinked. She suddenly felt the taste of blood rush through her mouth. It had an aura, a taste, a kind of smell like that man did.

She noticed the way he pulled away when she was done. She was right. He probably only did this because she didn't have the guts to. It wasn't a kiss. He was giving her blood.

Whether it was air or blood, his kiss always saved her. But she never knew...did it mean anything?

"I hope you damn well realize that normally vampires bite humans of the opposite sex...you're going to find that male blood tastes better than females...unless... you have some kind of secret to tell me...perhaps that's why you're causing us all so much grief..."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Forget it." He turned away. "And you can't teleport like that. Even with founder blood still probably looming around in your system...you'll die. We can die if we don't eat."

"Oh... well I wanted to say that-"

"Also...if you choose one of my brother's ...I've decided... I'm leaving. No ifs, ands, or buts. They can play this game, but I'm not about to share you with them. Its fucking not normal and I don't like the way it would end..."

"I thought you already decided you were going to leave..." She bit her lip. She didn't want to force him or entice him to, but she wanted to know why he was saying this again.

"I'm not going to do this. Did you consider what it means when you fuck every person in our family? My mother screwed around with my uncle and my father? Sound familiar?"

She felt her eyes open wide. He saw it too. She was becoming what she hated. What he hated.

"Ayato I- I didn't want this... I'm new to vampirism...and I hate death. I don't like acting so lewdly with you all...you all mean something to me, but this voice in my head just keeps whispering that it might just be my blood...and I can't help but feel so scared that if I give myself away, one day I'll just feel like a drained faucet. I can't help but want something real...and I can't tell what is anymore. Blood is just too lustful and I hate that I can't control myself..."

"I get your too goddamn golden for this, but you'll find a way one day. Stop making excuses..." His short blunt attitute was pushing through, instead of pushing to bite her as he did before. To keep her, he just wanted her to see what he saw.

"...I don't want to hurt anyone. I stabbed myself once so I wouldn't cause you all strife. And now I'm doing it again...I think your father is letting me stay sometimes because I just do damage..."

Ayato blinked. He'd never thought about it like that.

"And ... I need to be able to fend for myself. If I can't...maybe it's better that I don't make it..."

"Can you shut up?" Ayato turned around again. "I didn't put my ass on the line all this time just to see you die because you can't bite someone's neck. We need to find you a blood bank."

Something occurred to her. "Who's your blood bank now?"

He grunted. "We have a stash...Laito hunts sometimes because he gets pleasure out of it. Never thought it would be anyone else but you..."

"What? Why?"

"Your blood tastes good. It's everything. When I bite, any other human, I think of your neck." He grunted out his words.

"So... you like my blood..."

"Frankly... you know...If you're going to make me say it..." He looked conflicted.

"What?" She looked to him.

"Nothing. I'm going to drain that guy and you'll have something lunch later. I don't feel like going back to school today. Good thing he had that motorcycle with him."

And with that she was alone again.

She sat on the couch. He didn't make it anymore clear either did he?

"So there you are. I found Kanato peeved again at the school and figured you'd escaped him again...you really have a way with getting him angry don't you Lady Bitch?"

She suddenly jolted up. Laito was here now.

"I ...I didn't realize how important it was to feed...I couldn't handle his bites..."

"Yea, we don't bite for fun. But you seem oddly out of sorts? Tell me, did Ayato get angry at you too? It seems my brothers really do have short tempers..."

"Well...he keeps telling me he's going to leave if I choose someone else..."

"Ah, he always was territorial. Perhaps more so with you. I do love the way he looked at me and you after we had our exchange on the roof..." Laito chuckled.

"But I know he wants to leave...why he keeps telling me...I don't get it..."

Laito leaned onto the couch and put his arm behind her on the back rest. "Hmm...well in that case may I suggest something?" He pulled his head back and looked at the ceiling. His eyes half lidded.

"What?" She looked at him strangely.

"The way I see it is my brother is either being his moody self and a sore looser because perhaps he will not get to taste you as he did before, if you choose one of us, which as you know really gets him peeved or ... maybe he is telling you because he is waiting for you to tell him not to leave." Laito shrugged giving her a cheeky side glance.

She blinked. Why would he need her to tell him to stay? She didn't want anyone to leave...

"On the other hand, that man out front...if those bite marks aren't yours...please tell me they were Ayato's?"

"...well...he did it for me..."

"Oh that is marvelous." Laito swung himself up and turned on his heels towards the kitchen. "Dear brother, is it true you've acquired a pallate for the other side? I always knew you had a taste for human men."

She heard a crash.

What did Laito mean? If Ayato wanted her to tell him to stay...but wouldn't it be cruel to ask that if she ended up with another brother? Or did that mean...

Ayato wanted her to tell him she loved him? But...did that mean he loved her? He rightly almost admitted he only liked her blood though? Didn't he?

She slunk down onto the couch again and laid herself on it. She found it strangely comfortable for a wooden couch. Or perhaps it was more a sofa? If anyone were to find her here, a human to enter perchance she would be in the same spot Ayato was in when she first met him.

And yet she'd never have the guts to pin them down as he did her. To take blood. She didn't see how she could tell him to stay unless she decided he really cared for her and he was the one...

But nothing was clear. She felt a strange haze run over her. Perhaps in her dreams she would have more luck.