Authors Note:
Words in bold are lyrics from Lana Del Rey's song "Gods and Monsters" . Happy reading!
"In the land of Gods and Monsters
I was an Angel
Living in the Garden of Evil"
June 22nd,
Dear Diary,
I am 17.
I am a woman. And I can charm, curse, hex, transfigure, conjure, anything I want whenever I like.
I have a date with the DEY at the Hogshead, and apparition lessons to attend to. Wish me happy birthday, you and I, my lovely leather -bound heartfelt diary, we have been together for many years now.
Love always,
Bella
July 1st,
Dear Diary,
It has been quite a week, and turning 17, becoming of age, has been just as exhilarating as I had known it would, from the moment I felt the tracker of childhood lifted from my impatient existence, I was free, the nightmares I have sometimes have of endless oceans seemed meaningless, I have a wand and a purpose, and my fingers have been tingling with magic, magic that flows through my pure vein, being in my heart, behind every smile, every slight movement: I am magic. PURE magic.
So to celebrate the glorious 17th anniversary of my birth, I invited a select group of friends to rendez-vous at the Hogshead to make merry and discuss how best to make the remainder of the summer at least vaguely useful. I used floo powder to arrive, sadly still practicing my ability to apperate, before a group of my waiting comrades. After a few rounds of firewhiskey and a special bottle of house elf made mulled wine from 1945 (Lucius's gift, which he presented smugly),
"It was just laying around the manor anyway," He drawled casually, "I thought we could use some special nosh as it is the day Bellatrix Black is officially unleashed on the world, so we all know it's all going to be more chaotic than the Hufflepuff common room when they actually win a quiddich match,"
"Right," I laughed, "This is the first we've seen of you since graduation, speaking of the world getting chaotic… how is everything?"
He smiled pointedly, "Drink up, Bella, we'll chat business later,"
"Indeed," Roddy nodded, cleared his throat and addressed the group of Slytherins, Collecting their attention from their various side conversations including the riveting debate taking place between Rosier and Reggie that was in regards to whom would beat whom in a fight of Hippogriff versus a baby dragon.
"You're interrupting something quite important, Lestrange, my mate," Reggie laughed,
"No, the dragon would obviously win, it just has to hiccup flames, you gits," Roddy rolled his eyes
"No way," Rosier cut in harshly, "It depends on what TYPE of dragon, like the horntail and fire ball have a better chance the lame Welsh-"
"okay, okay," Roddy laughed, breaking up their disagreement one more time, "That can wait one moment before we all toast to the reason we're out here getting bloody drunk together-"
"Is this like a special occasion or something?" Reggie smirked, "I thought we were just here for the firewhiskey,"
"Oh haha," I kicked him under the table with a grin,
"I propose a toast to Bellatrix Black, my beautiful, slightly insane fiancé, who has just turned 17, joining the ranks of Lucius, myself, and Dolohov, who are currently able to perform magic outside of school, and so do anything we don't like, prepare for some jinxes," He grinned, the table of my favorite fellow DEY members smirking and clapping, "So as Malfoy here said- the world is going to be a lot more interesting with Bella as free as a Hungarian Horntail in the wild. Let us all wish our favorite Slytherin princess a happy 17th birthday!"
After a another few rounds of drinks and choruses of "Happy Birthday" we had become quite intoxicated, Severus , Reggie, and Rosier were all describing in vivid detail how they would torture and kill Sirius, James, Lupin, Pettigrew, and Fabian, while Dolohov and Lucius whispered suspiciously in the corner, and Roddy and I were happily discussing the chances of the Slytherin quiddich team with Nott, Junior, and the Carrow siblings.
It was with an unexpected and severe looking frown that a black owl dropped a piece of silver parchment into the trembling hands of Lucius Malfoy, who exchanged dark glances with Dolohov, and immediately the parchment vanished into silver whisps of smoke. The two men whispered something to the owl, who flew away with a dark elegance, and except for the sound of drunken swigs of firewhiskey, the bar went silent, cold, ominous.
It was Roddy and I who Lucius approached as Dolohov whispered me a brief farewell with an awkward happy birthday and one-armed hug, scurrying out into the summer's midnight streets.
"Mate, what's-"
"Listen, Rod, I can't explain now," Lucius whispered cryptically, "You and Bella will hear from me very, very soon."
"I want to now NOW, it is my BIRTHDAY-" I hiccupped, pouting over my smudged glass and looking into the depths of Lucius's eyes, which were narrowed in either anxiety or anticipation.
"Bella," He interrupted with an uncharacteristic gentleness, "I will see you late this evening, go home within the hour and wait, It will make all other birthdays you've had or perhaps ever will have pale in comparison to this, just….trust me,"
I furrowed my brow, his words seemed to echo but the source of them lost in the caverns of intoxication and excitement, I felt hollow, waiting to understand, my heart beat quickened but my words seemed impassionate as I managed to reply, our eyes still locked together, "I'll leave within in the hour,"
"I can't give you an exact time, but this parting will be a brief one," Lucius said, kissing me on the forehead, and whispered, "happy 17th Bella, welcome to tomorrow,"
And with a handshake to Roddy and a swish of his impressive green silk cloak he vanished into the star-freckled darkness.
"What in the name of Merlin was that all about?" Reggie asked, eye-brows raised high, his voice uncertain as the entire table fixed their uneasy gazes towards Roddy and I, "I mean, I know Malfoy has a flare for the dramatics, but what just happened?"
"We, uh, don't exactly know ourselves, but we should all leave by 2am," I responded, feeling at a loss for words and meaning, floating a bit from drinks and curiosity above the mundane litany of questions.
"Is it about the Dark Lord?"
"How did that letter just disappear?"
"When will we know what's going on?"
"and just was have Lucius and Antonin been up to since graduation?"
"Is he a Death Eater officially?"
"Have you all met the Dark Lord?"
"SHUT UP," hissed Roddy violently, the ancient bartender with his dirty tangled hair and beard even stopped wiping grimy glasses with a filthy rag in slight surprise at the bite in Roddy's voice, "All of you, SHUT UP! These are not matters we openly discuss anywhere in any state of mind, nevermind drunk in a bar where anyone could hear us-"
"There's only us and some goats!" Called Rosier irritably.
"And the bartender, and who knows if this place is being watched or if someone is outside or anywhere!" Roddy glowered at him, and lowered his voice, "For all you know the Bartender is like Dumbledore's cousin or a Potter's great uncle, we can't just advertise this shit, you little Hufflepuff first year gits!"
"Fine, fine," Rosier rolled his eyes, "Can we talk about the topless photots of Bell then? Since it's her birthday we should pay tribute to her various contributions to the DEY-"
I pulled out my wand with a wink, "Say anything I don't like, I curse the words 'I love Godric Gryffindor more than James Potter likes mudbloods' and I curse these words on your bloody forehead,"
"Such a little minx," Rosier laughed and the table slowly came to life again, the bartender sending us casual glances from his station, seeming more watchful than my intoxicated eyes would have liked to perceive.
"You've got that medicine I need: fame, liquor, love
Give it to me slowly
Put your hands on my waist
Do it softly
Me and God? We don't get along so now I sing-
No one's gonna take my soul away"
We travelled back to our respective manors, Roddy handing me a small piece of paper before I hopped into the green flames of the floo network, whispering to be, his low voice barely audible above the crackling of the slow gentle fire, "I love you, Bella,"
"I love you two," I grinned, feeling the comfort and embrace of the hot dancing flames, before whispering my destination into the sparks and shadows- "The Black Manor"
Before I succumb to a fire whiskey induced slumber, I made my way up our spiral staircase, handsomely carpeted in a deep Slytherin green, with silk silver trimmings. The house was dark and childhood, my family, the idea I was "Home" felt distant, almost foreign in the black of the second early morning hours of adulthood. Surely, these were not the stairs I had once saved Sirius from falling from, surely not the same steps Andy and I would take, hand-in-hand, singing about Owen The Owl and Belinda the Baby Banshee, laughing, and arguing over who would be a better Slytherin prefect, dressed in little emerald dresses, adorned in our matching Black family rings, which read in velvety script "Toujours Pur".
There were not the steps I used to travel towards my room every day dreaming about the next time I would see Lucius Malfoy during our brief and torrid love affair.
These were not the steps I walked with innocence and niavete.
Not that night.
Similarly to my early adolescent and pre-teen years I collapsed onto my bed thinking about Lucius Malfoy, but no longer with wide puppy-love struck eyes, instead with heavy lidded and exhausted hope, hope that he would bring with him tidings of greatness.
It was then, musing about what Lucius meant by this trumping all birthdays in the past and future, that I recalled, with a hearty yawn, a a sleepy jolt of guilt the slip of parchment Roddy had bestowed with me before I exited the Hogs Head.
I reached a heavy, tired hand into the pocket of my robes, retrieveing the official announcement, cut out beautifully, of our wedding in the last week's addition of the Daily Prophet.
It was my bedtime story as inebriation and the darkness stole my consciousness.
It read,
Prominent Marriages: A Tale of Young Love (by Rita Skeeter)
"In a year's time we will be celebrating the wedding of Rodolphus Lestrange and Bellatrix Black. They will be officially betrothed June 29th of next year, and in the meantime now as young Miss Black is of age, we can announce their engagement! Both young students will be entering their seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in September where they are popular, academically prestigious, and ambitious final year students of the Slytherin House (See page 4 for my information of the TRUTH about Gryffindor versus Slytherin and how Godric was no 'God').
This reporter had the opportunity to discuss the upcoming marriage with none other than Young Rodolphus (who goes by Roddy to Bellatrix)
RS: How are you feeling about getting married so young? Is your family accepting of this decision?
RL: I'm nothing but thrilled, blimey, Bella is the one and I just know it. And my family is pleased, as is hers, we are having a respectable pureblood marriage.
RS: Now, now, Roddy, there is a lot of talk about you Slytherins being prejudice-
RL: Oh! Of course, and I apologize most deeply. I did not mean it in a prejudice manner, only that it is respectable to our parents specifically because the older generations has value, but not a strong bias, in regards to that issue. Any marriage, half-blood-muggle-born-pure-blood-quib-, it's all fine by me, I believe in love, as I think most people- Yes, yes, Rita my dear, even us Slytherins, believe in.
RS: That was quite touching! Bellatrix is a lucky young woman!
RL: I like to think so too!
RS: So what are you giving her for her 17th birthday which is this week?
RL: My family tiara, bearing the Lestrange crest. I hope she wears it on our wedding day.
RS: That is as sweet as pumpkin pasties and chocolate frogs! How will you present this amazing gift?
RL: I'm going to show her this article. She's not much of a newspaper reader, so hopefully, she'll see this for the first time and know, just know, how much I love her.
RS: Young romance at it's finest! And, what with all the havoc and rumors, do you and Bellatrix plan to do after school, being such excellent students?
RL: Well, Bella wants to be a writer, and she will be a brilliant author, and of course, raise our little feisty children we plan to have shortly after graduation while I move on to hopefully work for the ministry.
RS: And there you have it! A story of love to dispel ANY AWFUL LIES Gryffindors are telling about the Slytherin youngsters- they are every bit as kind as the rest of the school, and through young love, and bright futures, we can all assert the value, and importance of the Slytherin house, not as Dark Wizards, but any wizard (But with a touch more ambition, of course!)
RL: Well stated, Rita!
And so there you see the power of love still transcends the rumors of hate, bullying, and violence in Hogwarts, and specifically, these cruel untrue exaggerations in regards to the noble and ambitious house of Slytherin (again see page 4 for…)
The night was dark and I was drowned in restless, vividly nightmarish dreams of oceans when Lucius awoke me past 5 in the morning, his face looking ill with unusual pallor and charcoal circles below his ashen gray eyes as he shook me from the confines of an unknown ruin to the present moment, where I snapped awake, anxious and anticipating.
"We leave now, Bella, you, myself, Roddy, Sev, Reggie, and Junior," He licked his lips and spoke with utmost urgency, "The second group will follow, Rosier, Dolohov, Alecto, Amycus, Travers, Nott…maybe Crabbe and Goyle, and all the rest, they will come in time, but for now, for now Bella I have come to you first, we need to gather the rest of the initial group, we need to meet at my manor before sunrise,"
"What happens at sunrise, Lucius?" I looked up at him, half asleep and half desperate with excitement.
He grinned through tired, chapped, thin lips, and whispered hoarsely "The rest of our lives,"
"In the land of Gods and Monsters
I was angel
Looking to get fucked hard"
I clutched the slim muscles of his arm as he was able to take me with him to apperate to his handsome manor, it's stone, ivy and glamour obvious even as we walked from the front of his long cobblestone entryway.
"Why did we not apparate inside the building, Lucius?" I asked uncomfortably as we walked in silence towards his entryway.
"Charms to prevent that," He mumbled, mostly to himself, "Don't ask questions right now, Bella, just follow me. You'll be pleased, I assure you."
I swallowed hard as we threw back his heavy stone and painted glass front doors into a dark foyer and empty corridors were he lead more towards the parlor, it was alit with low burning black and green tapers, his mother and father seated on the sofa lost in inaudible conversation. Dolohov was alone in an elegantly crafted golden and silk chair by the brick fireplace, staring at the wall, the portraits of the Malfoy dynasty, his eyes empty.
"Sit," Lucius said heavily, "I'll be back with the others before sunrise,"
"Lucius-" I licked my lips and looked up anxiously, "Is he coming?"
He met my eyes significantly and gave me one, hard, swift nod of his pointed chin, and disappeared into emerald floo fire. Abraxas Malfoy asked his wife to excuse herself and sat like a statue for a few moments before the familiar faces of the DEY began to appear from the depths of their fireplace: Roddy, his brother Rabastian, Severus, Reggie, Rosier, the Carrows, and Nott.
They all came in their night clothes, looking bewildered to terrified to delighted depending on which moment you were to glance at one sleep-deprived visage to another.
Lucius came last with Travers, another lesser known DEY member he hurried into the fray of sitting and standing peers whom he at last addressed,
"The Dark Lord will be arriving to see us, yes, a group of utterly worthless teenagers in about ten minutes. You will show him the utmost respect, he asked me to arrange this meeting on his behalf and if you get me in any sort of position where the Dark Lord and all his inifinate power are displeased with me, I will use all the Malfoy money from centuries past to have you killed or sentenaced to lfie in Azkaban, do I make myself clear?"
His voice was unusually cold, his father nodded from his silent place on the furthest couch where he sat alone, hands folded intricately in his lap, eyes fixated on the blazing red embers of the fireplace, as Lucius continued, : "The rules are as follows, break them and pay a penalty you cannot afford: Do not speak unless spoken to, when spoken to always bow and kiss the hem of his robes, refer to him always and only as the Dark Lord, or Master. Do not move, speak, change expression, barely even bloody breathe while he is regarding and speaking to each of you- you worthless children, because he will not adhere to it. If you are spoken to, fall to you knees, kiss the hem of his robes, refer to him in the correct terms, and do not lie, he will know. Also, do not speak more than necessary. Also, do not boast, offer opinion, or smile unless he is saying something in jest. Are these rules understood, mates?"
There was a murmur of unanimous agreement around the room that was now filled with the exhalations of the most frightened and enthralled adolescence in the magical world.
Minutes and heart beats ticked away as sunrise approached, glowing through the wide picture windows, spilling into the room, igniting the evening into dawn. This is when he appeared, the first inclination of his arrival was the sound of the front door opening, and then we listened with expectant ears for footsteps or rustlings of cloaks, but he must have glided with effortless grace, for not a single soundnwas registered among us again until he opened the heavy oal of the parlor double doors, smiling through thin handsome lips over white teeth with a pallor unparalleled, and hair and eyes so dark and pristine. He was perfectly put together, a man 25 years my elder who looked as young and as vibrant as any youth I'd ever seen. Though there was something altered about him, something twisted in the slant of his almost-perfect cheekbones, something stolen from the depths of his eyes, something strange in the frost-bite of his smile. But his handsome exterior was astonishing, breathtaking, thin and perfectly crafted, dark, tall, swift, strong, and no actual imperfections on his shockingly young features. I almost forgot to breathe.
"Hello, my children," He said, smile still painted in place as he swept across the room taking in all our faces with those winter-eyes, "I have come to make your acquaintance, decide if you are worthy of calling yourselves the 'Death Eater Youth', and ask those of you whom are of age to join my little army, you may have seen us in the news, we are growing in infamy with each passing glorious new day,"
He paused and turned to Lucius expectantly
Anxiously Lucius cleared his throat, "So, those of you whom are of age: Rod- I mean Rodophlus, Amycus, Bellatrix, and Dolohov, please step forward, he would like to examine you briefly while your younger counterparts stay back, still the children of Slytherin, not eligible for further ranks as of this time,"
The four of us stumbled forward feeling as though we were being summoned, our legs moved with rigid intensity.
"Bellatrix Black?" The voice from the shadows was cross and crisp, the sound of a winter breeze against silent snowfall, the sound of ice, "Bellatrix Black, are you present?"
I stood from the shadows on legs made of flobberworms and anxiety to face the future I had set in motion since I was old enough to comprehend the difference between love and hate, between living and existing, and as I approached him, head bowed under my dark cloak, he lifted his fingers gently pulling up my chin his thin, high cheek boned face with piercing onyx eyes regarded me for a moment without a clue of intent or his perception.
"Yes, yes, my Lord?" I managed after a moment, dropped to my knees, feeling the stinging of their collision with the stone floor and of my gaze against his own that radiated more than power, that radiated purpose.
"Are you prepared to spend your seventh year at Hogwarts both learning and carrying out tasks to prove your worth as the first, and I do mean very first, female Death Eater?"
"Whatever the challenge you ask of me, it is my honor and privilege to provide"
"Excellent, my little dove," He smiled it was cold, he seemed more animal than human, further removed from his own humanity than I'd hoped or expected as his eyes sliced through the caverns of my being and he whispered, "Then I have a very, very important mission for you, and your little playmates- Gideon and Fabian Prewett- and it goes like this…"
I don't really want to know what's good for me
God is dead and I said baby that's all right with me
No one is going to take my soul away
Headed towards a fucked up Holiday"
"You will, by the end of this year, kill them both. You will kill them together. They will be alone in their family's home, and you will be invited as a potential recruit for the Order of The Phoenix. You will spend this year continuing to quietly terrorize the unworthy on behalf of the DEY, but you will convince the Prewetts you are open minded. They are vulnerable when their guard is down but a violent, threatening force against my rising army. You will be their Achilles' heel, my young soldier, and you know what your reward shall be, for this devoted service?"
I opened my mouth to speak but found for one of the first time's in my history the words were stuck like glue to my mouth, I could only shake my head and close my dumbfounded lips in uncertaintly as he smiled again, looking at me more kindly than I'd imagined his face could regard another as he spoke, "You must think perhaps I'll allow you to join the Death Eaters? To be a woman, not a little girl with her textbooks and Slytherin sweaters, but a woman inducted to the greatest Dark Army the wizarding world has ever seen? Is this the prize you would expect?"
I was uncertain if I was smiling or merely scrunching my face in doubt and fear, but found it within me, within the knowledge that this was a moment I had stretched towards, my life arching towards this first meeting for years, "Yes. That would be what I would hope for in return for my service."
He bared his perfectly white, sharp smile, "I will grant you an honorable induction to the Death Eaters, my first female, my young heroine, you will not only become a Death Eater and my loyal servant, but I will train you personally, you will become my prodigy in the Dark Arts. I will teach you all of which I know that can be taught. That is, if you complete your mission. Would you like to ask Lucius what happens if you fail your first trial mission?"
I shook my head, smiling now earnestly, "I am not Lucius. I have no interest in his punishments for his failures will not be my own,"
The Dark Lord laughed, content but without true mirth, "They said you were bold."
"It is a trait I am commonly associated with, My Dark Lord," I said softly avoiding his eyes respectfully.
"Clearly," He laughed and others laughed with him as I felt his fingers, spidery icicles, across my chin, reach to pull my eyes and face level with his own as he bent down to where I rested on my knees aching against the hard varnish of the Malfoy's wooden floors, "Little one, accomplish this and you will be most honored, a standard I will expect of you. You know why you will be our first female, shall your task be accomplished or you admit to a proper punishment?"
"When you talk it's like a movie and you're making me crazy
Because life imitates art
If I get a little prettier can I be your baby?
You tell me- life isn't that hard"
I was hypnotized by his deep irises, they were just a shade lighter than his pupils, as I forced the bravery to reply with breathless syllables, "I do not know, My Lord"
"Yes you do, Bellatrix Black-" His eyes saw through my own and images swept vividly past, the photographs, the removal of clothing, the forced kisses, the cruciatus curse, the moments with Gideon, the break between Lucius and myself, the sweep of female-specific insults hurled like jinxes "bitch, slut, princess, whore, cunt" a wave of unwavering agony. I nearly fell back when it ended and his voice penetrated the present reality again, "Yes you do, Bellatrix Black, and I shall need to teach you Occlumency. Would you like to explain why other women do not belong here? Or perhaps why you are my first exception, dear Slytherin Princess?"
His voice was mocking and I was confused, almost angry, as I kneeled there searching for words to undo the chaos he had seen from my very aggressively charged adolescent career, "Because I fought for it,"
"Pardon me?" He was standing again, looking down at me with a rigid expression.
"Because," I insisted gasping for breath and syllables, "Because, I've been fighting this war while other girls walk away, while they pretend all is well and that they take no responsibility for the future of our kind. Because I comprehend the essence of this war and its importance, and I've shown years of resilient support for this belief"
He began to pace and stopped in front of Lucius, "Why do you think we have excluded women in the past, Young Mister Malfoy?"
Lucius bowed his towhead before responding, shaking slightly I could disconcert from the corners of my eyes, "Because, my Lord, they are fickle, weak, emotionally driven, and more easily manipulated and physically swayed by men than a man would be. Women are a liability."
The Dark Lord nodded twice, a strong gesture of approval I could ascertain by the pride that hardened in Lucius' eyes, "Indeed, Lucius is correct, and so is Bellatrix. So, Both of these things are true, you confronted these problems like a man, but your weaknesses in these childhood battles has always been your femininity, emotion, impulsivity, physical disparity. So what does this test prove, the test of destroying the last dirty remains fo the Prewett family?"
He paused and turned sharply, facing Roddy, "Lestrange, what will her success in this mission truly mean?"
"That she can use her weakness as her strength, my Lord," He said slowly, "That she can manipulate them, disarm their hearts. It will prove she can swoon like a woman but will fight like a man"
The room was suddenly a tundra as others nodded and the assent of agreement and smirks spread across faces and lips. I knelt, rooted to my stone floor and to my destiny.
"Does this make sense you to, my child?" He picked up my chin once more, sending butterflies and hypothermia straight through my pure-blooded veins like venom.
"It does, My Lord," I whispered, at a loss for frustration and numb from realization.
"You didn't think becoming my first female would be an easy task?" He laughed without amusement, and the room chorused along brutally, infiltrating my ears, "You think it was only the laziness of other women that kept them from joining these sacred ranks? You think you were just more ambitious than countless other females, wives of male Death Eaters, their sisters, my self-pronounced lovers, you think they were all merely lazy and you have shown devotion and that I will rethink the entire philosophy on why women are not warriors?"
The room rang with vicious laughter.
"You have your chance, Miss. Bellatrix Black," He said, dismissively now, dropping my chin that seemed to fall back towards my chest like dead weight.
"As for Dolohov, lestrange and the male Carrow… I'd like to induct you all this evening… Bellatrix, would you mind moving back with the other members of the Daeth Eater Youth while I create a new wave of adult Death Eaters?"
His eyes were so cruel.
"Of course, my Lord"
I crawled back to the others under 17 and watched with vividly pained eyes how Amycus Carrow, Antonin Dolohov and Rodophlus Lestrange became true Death Eaters. The ceremony seemed to take decades. They swore their allegiance, unbreakable vows, potions, and fire whiskey drank, and the dark mark imbued on their pure skin, the ink flowing through their pores into their pure blood, invigorating their veins and hearts while I watched and died a bit, loosng myself to my own inadequacy. I was lost in my own tragedy while my Roddy sololmely became and adult, a warrior before my eyes, and I was forced to watch seated as a student, a child, behind his figure impressive against the fire and before the handsomely cold Dark Lord. He vanished after the ceremonies, without farewells or even a glance. I felt so very small.
All was calm when we exited the Victorian Malfoy manor, summer had embraced the vibrant hue of the flowers that outlined his home with gentle streams of light and beauty. We walked in silence across morning's light and the cobblestone paths towards the end of the Malfoy's decorative walkway without a word, butterflies and songbirds flying past as though we were forced into the quaint setting of a fairytale.
"Lucius," I said finally, as we had reached the end of the path, "Care to take me home? I don't fancy returning to your home for the floo or summoning a broom,"
"You can't apparate yet?" Dolohov asked, a smirk on his acne clawed face, "Really? That's why women-"
"Shut it," Roddy said harshy, "She's been of age for about a week now.."
"You can do it, why isn't she asking you?" Severus taunted a little coldly from behind Dolohov who had agreed to assist Severus in his appariation home.
"I brought her here, I also agreed to escort her home," Lucius interjectedly coldly, "get off my grounds, you vermin, the meeting is dismissed"
Without another painful look at the man I love, and hated for jealousy and a strange sense of betrayal writhed inside of me, I clutched the arm of Lucius Malfoy and found myself trembling in my bedroom, half in tears.
"Bella…"
"I'm not weak!" I insisted, sniffing back poison tears, "I am not bloody weak!"
Lucius put his arm around my shoulder, guiding me towards ,my bed and whispered, "He is like that, he is cruel but he is perfect. He put me through hell since my failure to dispose of Sirius, I've been missing in action because I've been being totured, sent on errand boy duties, and humiliated-"
"Doesn't he know we love him?" I glared angrily at Lucius as though this was a lack of communication somehow, that rested on his thick set quiddich toned shoulders.
"Yes, that's why he makes us stronger, makes us grow, you have an incredible opperunity-"
"Do you think I can do it, Lucius?" I bit my lips in anxiety, feeling, for the first time, like the little girl the Dark Lord viewed me as.
"I know you can," He kissed my ckeek, I kissed his lips, we embraced for a moment and mutually broke apart.
"I read your wedding announcement in the prophet, my Bella," He whispered in a tone I could not quite distinguish, "I offer you my congradulations"
And with that, he apparated into the night, and I was left alone with my weakness and my sorrow and my crumbled up wedding announcement.
Happy Birthday to Bella.
"This is heaven, it's what I truly want
Is innocence lost
Innocence lost…"
Love always,
Bella
Author's Notes:
Okay, let me know what you all think and if you all keep reading, I promise the writing will continue!