Katniss pov
My mom walks in and says,"are you ready Johanna? I'm going to need you to lye on your back and lift your shirt." Johanna nods and does as she says. She moves her hands over her stomach and pokes at it.
She bites her lip and says,"hmm..."
"What is it?"I ask.
"You're pregnant."She says.
"You're sure?" Johanna asks worried.
"Yes. You are definitely pregnant." She says.
"Shit! This is horrible! What am I suppose to do?" Johanna says sitting up abruptly.
"Just tell him, Johanna. You can't keep this from him."I say.
"From who?" My mom asks.
"From Gale,"Johanna sighs.
"Oh,"my mom simply says, shock evident on her face. I can't believe all this. Two of my best friends are going to have a kid together? This is crazy! I guess they are good for each other. Normally I'd say someone as firery as them would need some daft and passionate to equal them out. But they both have a special kind of fire. A fire that needs to be kept alive by someone just as equally firery.
Their competitive, cocky personalities will edge each other on. It's what they need. I guess some fire needs more flames to keep it going, and some fire needs a soft flower to keep it going.
I need Peeta. My fire needs to be edged on by my dandelion. More fire is not what I need. It's the last thing I need.
Johanna collapses on the couch and sighs. I take a seat next to her and say,"is there anything I can do?"
She leans against me and says,"will you help me figure out how to tell him?"
"Of course."
My mom speaks up,"when I found out I was pregnant with Katniss, I was just as terrified. I didn't know if John wanted children. We were barely married too. I kept trying to put off telling him. I'd make excuses as to why I wasn't feeling good, or why I was acting weird, until one day, I just blurted it out. He was ecstatic. I wasn't expecting it. I was so focused on the negative that I missed the big picture."
Johanna looks at her, taking in her words.
"A child is a blessing." She says to Johanna,"and I'm sure Gale will be happy."
"He does want kids. He use to tell me that if he lived in a different place he would have kids. And now we do. Your kids will be safe in this world, Johanna."I tell her.
"When are you going to have kids, brainless?"She asks.
"I don't want kids..."I say.
"What about Peeta?"
"He's always wanted a family, but I can't give him one. I just can't." I say.
As if on cue, Peeta walks in.
"I can wait until you're ready, Katniss. There's no rush." He says softly. I can see truth in his eyes but he still looks a little hurt. I wish to remove that hurt from his eyes, but I know that I can't.
He walks over to me and presses a kiss to my forehead. "So what's going on?" Peeta asks.
"I'm pregnant, bread boy." Johanna says.
"Whoa, congratulations, Johanna,"then he adds awkwardly,"who's the father?"
"Gale..."
His eyes widen in surprise,"Gale?!"
"Mmmhmmm."
"Wow, I didn't know that you guys were together."
"It's complicated."
"If you'd like to stay with us, Johanna, you can,"I tell her.
"Thank you, brainless."
"So, does he know?" Peeta asks.
She shakes her head,"I just found out like five minutes ago."
"He's coming here in 3 days... I'm going to tell him then."
We both nod in understanding.
That night, as I lay in the bath washing my hair, Peeta walks into the bathroom. He wears nothing but a smile as he walks over to the tub and slowly sinks in across from me. It's a good thing this bath is so huge.
"May I?" He asks pointing to my hair.
"Sure,"I say and turn around so that my back is leaning against his chest. He presses a kiss to my cheek and then moves his hands up to wash my hair. His gentle fingers work my head like the bread he kneads.
I close my eyes, content with the sensations I'm feeling. Then, when I'm completely relaxed he starts to speak. "Katniss, do you ever plan on having children?"
I sigh. I should have known that this talk was going to come sooner or later. I was hoping it would be later. "I'm not sure. I know for sure that I don't want children now."
"Why not?"
"Well, I've never wanted children before... mainly because of the games, but now there's still things to worry about. Like my nightmares and your flashbacks. Those people who are out to get us, the ones who attacked my dad. The coin supporters... the world may be changed but there are still risks. Plus, we barely just got married. We need to spend time with just us. Once you have a child, you will forever have that child."
"Katniss,"he says softly,"our nightmares will become easier to handle. You'll get less and less until they eventually go away. My flashbacks are getting under control. I might always have them, but they are controllable. And I won't let any stupid coin supporter hurt you or any child of ours."
"I know,"I sigh,"but this is a big decision and I'm not ready for it. We are still very young too."
He sighs and says,"I'm not saying that we have to have one now, I'm just saying that someday when you are ready, I think we should have a baby."
He reaches for the cup and rinses the soap from my hair. After he is done with my hair, I lean back against him and close my eyes. "I don't know,"I sigh.
"Just think about it... one day to have little feet running around. A girl with dark brown curls and grey eyes. Or a boy with blonde curls and blue eyes. I could imagine laying on the couch with both of you in my arms as we fall asleep together. The sound of your voice as you sing our baby to sleep-"
"Stop!"I yell as I push up from his arms and out of the tub. I can't take it anymore. I know how much he wants this fantasy to come true, but I just can't do it. I can never give him the life he truly wants.
"Katniss, I-"he starts but I'm already out of the bathroom. I slip on my robe and run to the closet in the hall. Soon I hear footsteps. I expect it to be Peeta, but to my surprise it's Johanna.
She sits down next to me with two mugs in her hands. "Peeta wanted me to give this to you. He knows that you don't want to talk to him,"she says as she hands me a mug.
"But he knows I'll talk to you."I say.
She nods.
"What happened?" She asks.
"Peeta started talking about babies."
"Still don't want any?" She asks.
"No... I don't know.."
"You can't punish the guy for talking about it,"she says,"it's just in his nature. I swear that boy loves everything."
I sigh knowing she's right. She takes my mug as I stand up. "Where are you going, brainless?" She asks.
"I need to apologize to Peeta."