I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world.
Ok, so here's the rub bub. Yeah, I can't believe I wrote that either, even more why I have no desire to delete that… Any who, I've had this chapter and the next done for about a week now. I'm uploading this one now and the next in 2 or 3 weeks. They're generally long, so I think that's fair. My intensive summer course is kicking mu butt, 6 hours of one class a day followed by homework and work and 2 tests a week… It's a lot so I don't know when I'll have time to write. That's why I'm spacing out what I have done. But the next chapter… Oh the next chapter… That one… Do not miss it. That's all I'm saying.
Ok, so it's 2 am. I'm going to leave you to read so I can get some sleep and peel myself out of bed at 6 to get to class. Coffee shall be my best friend. Read on people.
Chapter 38: What's there to Know
When Emily left, Hotch felt a little lost. He stayed in that very spot for a good hour or so longer just thinking about it all. She all but came right out and said she still wanted to try a relationship with him, which was what he wanted too. But then why was it so hard? Why was she fleeing the country without cementing that they would give it a fair shake when she returned? And, most importantly, what was there to think about?
All she had to do was give in. All she had to do was forgive him and give into what they were both feeling. He was ready to do that. He was giving in to her… finally. Hopefully, she'd be ready soon too. He'd give it more thought as asked, but he was sure what he wanted. The owed it to themselves and to their kids to try.
"Daddy?" Speaking of kid…
"Hey sweetheart. You're up early."
"I'm not tired anymore."
"Ok." He patted the spot next to him and waited for her to climb up. "Did you sleep ok?"
"Uh huh." She already missed her mom, but it was fun with Jack and daddy.
"Good." He smiled and let her sink into the couch. "I loved watching you dance yesterday. I didn't know how great you were."
"I practice lots. I have talent, but practice makes it better. That's what everyone says."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yup. And my friend Kylie is older and she's going to a dance school. That's cool, right?"
"It is. Is that something you want someday?" He didn't know if he liked that idea.
"No. I like books too much. All they do is dance." That's his girl. "I'd get bored."
"What do you want to do when you grow up?"
"I'm going to be a mommy like my mommy and a superhero too. And I want to be a teacher or a doctor. Maybe president."
"Just maybe?"
"Yeah. I can't work too much. Then I wouldn't have any fun." Oh, a child's logic.
"I think you'll be amazing at whatever you do." She snuggled up to him and he took the opportunity to engage her further asking her questions and talking about whatever came to mind. He enjoyed getting to know her more and more each day. He loved his kids more than life itself and he couldn't see anything ever changing that. He wondered though, if they were one of the potential costs Emily was talking about. If their relationship went sour, how would it affect them? On the flip side, if it went well, wouldn't it be worth it? Why didn't she see it that way?
His thoughts stopped once more when the sounds of a stomach rumbling "You hungry?" She nodded. "Breakfast?"
"Can I help?"
"I couldn't do it without you."
"Can I wake up Jack first? He can help too!"
"Go ahead. Tell him we're making Grandma's home fries."
"Grandma?" She questioned. "My mommy's mom?" She didn't cook. Charlie was almost sure of it.
"No, my mom. You've met her before." Twice actually, just not as anything more than a friend of the family.
"Another Grandma?"
"Yeah, you ok with that?"
"I never had two grandmas."
"Well now you do."
"Is she here?" Her eyes wandered around. She didn't see anyone else the whole time she was there.
"No. She lives a few hours away from here."
"Oh." She found herself slightly disappointed.
"You'll get to meet her soon. How about, for now, I teach you one of her recipes?" She smiled and nodded. "Great. Go wake up Jack and we'll get started."
The three of them had a good time working together. It was what he wished he had every day. He could see it. He could picture mornings waking up with Emily, sitting down with coffee and the paper as they woke up a little. The kids would come down in the morning rush hurrying to get ready for school. Weekends would be spent cooking breakfast together and being together.
It could be great. He hoped she saw that too.
That morning, an idea was sparked in his mind. He was telling Emily not to put things off and stop running away, it was time for him to do the same. There was something he had been meaning to do and had yet to approach. It was time.
"Alright kids. As much fun as breakfast was, we made a big mess. Go wash up and get dressed while I clean up."
"Ok." They agreed, the two playing and laughing as they took off. "I'll beat you." Jack promised.
"Nu uh!" She argued.
Hotch had to admit, he liked the sounds of having children in the house. With one, it was still quiet. With two it was like life was finally alit in his apartment. It didn't feel like a crash pad he was forced into after a divorce. It finally felt like a home. They were his home. He found an immense comfort in that.
When they came back down, actually dressed in suitable clothing, matching and everything, socks included, he instructed them to get on their shoes because they were going out. "Where are we going dad?" Jack asked as they got in the car.
"We have to pick up a few last minute things for camp. You start tomorrow Jack."
"Why did I have to come? I could be playing with my toys."
He laughed. "Because you're not old enough to stay on your own, and I need both of your help with something."
"What?" They both asked.
"You'll see." Teasing them with that bit of information was fun… for a moment. But, it ultimately led to an annoyingly large amount of questions as they picked up the few things left on Haley's list that Jack needed for camp.
"Now can we know where we're going?" Jack asked exuberantly. He just wanted to know!
"We're going to look at a few houses." He finally gave in.
Jack was quick to ask, "We're moving?" Charlie, on the other hand, became very quiet all of a sudden.
"Well, maybe. Right now we're just going to look at a few places and see if there's anything we all like."
"Cool. Do I get my own room?" Jack was the only kid in the car that seemed excited. Charlie, she just looked sad.
Hotch assured them he wanted to find a place that gave them each their own room and that they were all comfortable with. A few weeks prior, before things with Emily went down, they narrowed down the houses he should look at. She was a great help, and she had a good eye. That's why, she told herself, he asked her. In reality, he wanted her to be a part of his home too, even if not living with him.
All the houses they looked at were three bedrooms. Some were nicer than the others, others looked so much better in the ads. But one thing held true throughout, he could have a life in any one of them as long as he had his children there too. As he watched them dance around and search the house, claiming their perspective bedrooms, he could feel it. None of the places they looked at were going to be his, but he could feel it. Home was coming to him. He'd find his place. He could see himself and the kids working on a fixer upper and Emily recruiting Morgan to help with the heavy lifting, assuming they'd be on speaking terms by then, and all of them working on turning the house into a dream home.
He could imagine so many things. He just wondered what it'd take to make it happen. What would it take to make that dream come true?
"Did you guys like any of those houses?" He asked as the day came to a close. They were on their way to drop Jack off and then, by the time they got back to the house, Emily would be calling for Charlie.
He listened to their input, though one child was much more forthcoming than the other, as he let his thoughts go. Something Emily said had hit him, in such a random way at a random time, but it led him to believe, before he jumped into making Emily give them a chance, he needed to talk to his son. So, reaching Haley's house, the three of them went inside. Greetings were given and Charlie told her brother goodbye, but before they left, Hotch asked for a moment with his son. Haley agreed to spend a few minutes of girl time with his daughter as he helped his son with his bags.
"Jack." Hotch approached his son as the boy put their purchases on their bed. "Can I talk to you a minute?"
"Ok dad."
"I know there have been a lot of changes in your life lately, and I'm sorry for all of that." He apologized.
"It's ok daddy. Mom says that we have to adjust to change and I'm so good at it." That was just the thing, he shouldn't have to be so good at it.
"We're both very proud about the way you've handled it all." He ruffled his son's hair. "But I don't want to make any big changes before talking to you."
"Are you changing something dad?"
"You seemed happy that I might get a house. Would you be happy with that?"
"Yeah! My room's too small to share with Charlie. She should have her own. She's a girl."
"Ok." He laughed. "I'll make sure you both have your own room when I find a place."
"Cool. And a blue room? Can it be blue? Or green? Or green and blue?"
"We can pick out colors when the time comes."
"Yay!"
"Jack… Would you be ok if I dated someone? If there was a woman in my life the way mom used to be?"
"Would she be my new mom?" Jack asked with confusion. What did he mean?
"No, you're mom is your mom. No one and nothing can change that. I love your mom. You know that. I want to know how you feel about me dating." He should've asked before starting with Beth in the first place. Emily was right. Their decisions effected everyone, their children most of all. And it wasn't like Emily could just be cut from his life if things went sour. So Jack's permission before moving forward was necessary.
"Who are you going to date?"
"If it's ok with you, there's someone very special I want to go out with."
"Emily?" Jack asked plainly, not blinking an eye.
"How did you guess that?" Hotch was curious. Was it that obvious to everyone? Everyone but them…
"Don't be stupid dad. You stare at her and she stares at you and all the people in the movies mom likes always do that before they kiss. Do you want to kiss her?"
All the time. "Yeah, I think I do."
"Gross. Grownups kiss too much, but you can kiss her if you want. I like Emily. I don't want to kiss her, maybe on the cheek, but not like you want to. If you want to kiss her, you should kiss her."
"Ok…"
"I like her."
"Me too son, me too."
Happy with the way things went, Hotch kissed his son goodbye and told him to have lots of fun at camp. "I'll miss you." He added, but Jack assured him they'd be ok. His dad had Charlie to keep him company, so he wouldn't be lonely and he would be with his friends.
Speaking of Jack's little sister, Hotch noticed she hadn't said a whole lot that day and he had to wonder why. What was going on in that head of hers? Was she pulling away like her mother tended to do? Was she keeping her emotions in a box? What was she thinking about? Clearly, she got the overthinking genes from both her parents, not exactly a good thing.
"What's wrong sweetheart? Do you not want me to move?" He asked her after helping her ready for bed.
Instead of answering, she asked her own question. "Is mommy moving with you?"
"Into the new house? No… No, mommy has her own house."
"Am… am I moving with you?"
"As much as I would love to have you live with me all the time, no. You live with mommy."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why don't we all live together?"
"It's complicated."
She groaned. "I don't like when grownups say that."
"Ok…" It wasn't like he could blame her. No one liked that answer. "Not all parents live together with their kids."
"Don't you love us?"
Without thinking it over, he answered immediately, "I love you both very much." Wow, he did. He loved her. He loved Emily… "But, that doesn't mean we're going to live together." He was glad she accepted that answer and moved on.
"Are you going to move really far away?"
"I could never move far from you and Jack. Ever." He spent a little more time talking it over with her before Emily's call finally came in and, after a brief exchange, he left Charlie to talk to her.
The day in England started late. With the time difference, Emily's plane didn't arrive until the afternoon.
"Clyde!" Emily yelled as she exited the gate at London Heathrow Airport.
"Darling!" He responded immediately sweeping her into a hug. "Good to have you here."
"It's good to be here again."
"No faux accent this time."
"No need for that." She used the accent. "I'm not here for business."
"Ah, pleasure then." He smiled. "We should get on that. Let's get you to the flat."
"Bags first."
"How dare I forget?" They spent a good hour at baggage claim before they got everything and he chivalrously offered to carry them. "You really are a girl aren't you love?"
"I sure hope you knew that all along."
"Must you really bring so much for a week here?"
"A week here and a week with my mother, plus some of Charlie's stuff. And you've heard me talk about my mother. Who knows what she has planned. I need my options."
"Indeed you do."
Clyde paid close attention to her, giving her a good look over every now and again; nothing suspicious on his part, but just enough to gage where her head was. Arriving at his home and offering her some tea, the two settled down on the balcony to enjoy the summer evening. "Are we going to address that nasty little bruise on your face or am I meant to ignore it?" He finally asked.
She knew it was coming. "It's nothing."
"You got it on the job then?"
"Not really."
"Clearly you didn't punch yourself… Did someone do that to you?"
"There's something we need to talk about Derek."
"Uh oh. Am I in trouble?" He joked.
"It's not a joke Derek."
"Alright." His smile faltered. "What's going on?"
"I want you to hear me out ok? Without jumping to conclusions or making rash judgments. Just, just really don't overthink things."
"What's this about?"
"It has to do with me… and Charlie…"
"I'm listening."
In between their exchanges, not stopping their combat, Emily eased into the topic. "I told you we've been seeing her father lately…"
"Yeah, said you were letting that jack ass back into your life."
"Morgan. Seriously. He's a good guy."
"Forgive me for not being on board that train."
"What I'm trying to say is… He is…"
"An ass." Derek finished.
"No… Look I know you have these ideas about him and I did nothing to fix that…"
"He upset you. He hurt you. How does that make him a good guy?"
"Because he is… I hurt him too… a lot more than he hurt me. I didn't tell him about her. He didn't know to be there. That's on me."
"And he still messed with your head after he knew. I don't know why you're defending him."
"Because…" She said as he threw a hard jab… "He doesn't deserve your ridicule. And I can't tell you who he is if you're going to be a dick about it."
"Oh, so now you're going to tell me who he is?" He laughed, just continuing with their bout. "What changed?"
"Honestly… so much." Their sparring was slow and not at all to their usual high geared pace, just enough to keep them going as they talked. "I know I've kept… a lot… from you in the past, but I don't want to do that anymore. I feel like we lost so much of our friendship. And it's my fault. But I don't want it to be that way. I want us to be like we used to be."
"We can get there."
"Right… I'm glad you think so too. That's what I want. So how do we get there?"
"You have to start letting me in. Next time I ask you to trust me and let me help you… let me."
"I'll do my very best." She promised. "I want you to know, Derek, that I didn't keep everything from you because I didn't trust you. I wanted to let you in, to let you all in."
"Then why didn't you."
"Because… Because it felt like I had to."
"Why? To protect us?"
"Yes." She could tell the answer wasn't what he wanted. The conversation was hitting a nerve with him, evidenced by his increased speed.
"Maybe we didn't want protecting."
"No, maybe not. But I did. I had secrets… I'm going to have secrets that I can never tell. That's part of my past. But I want to tell you what I can."
"What I don't get, Em, is keeping her a secret. I heard your song and dance about protecting her and the father not knowing… But what did telling us have to do with that? It's not like we saw the guy. Us knowing had no effect on him."
"But it did." She said quickly.
"Yeah? How's that?"
"Because… Because we work with him." She said weakly. The moment of truth was approaching and she was nervous. She was realizing, while the gym may have been a place they both found comfortable, a place they used to go to together all the time, it wasn't the ideal situation for the conversation. Flying fists and surprise information catching you off guard spells disaster.
"Very funny." He laughed. "That ass hole's no agent."
"Stop calling him that!" She said in the heat of things. "He's your boss!" That wasn't how it was meant to go.
"What?!" He exclaimed. Her words came out just as his hand went for a head shot. And, in the shock of the words that left her mouth, both parties stunned, he couldn't stop it and she couldn't block it.
"Damn it Derek!" She whined, her hand on her face. "When I said bring it, I didn't mean your fist to my face."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you ok?" She pushed him away. "I'm fine."
"Crap. You're bleeding." If he didn't feel guilty before…
"I am? Is it bad?" She didn't want to have to explain that.
He gently took ahold of her chin and looked closer. "I don't think it'll need stitches, but you'll have a nice bruise."
"Great…" She allowed him to guide her to the benches so he could help her out.
"I'm sorry…"
"I know…" She said quietly, searching for his eyes to add, "Me too."
Tight lipped, he looked her over. "Are you alright?"
"I'm ok… Are you?"
"I don't know."
"Please talk to me Morgan."
"I don't know what to say."
"Tell me you don't hate me for keeping this from you… Tell me you can forgive me. Just tell me where your head's at. Tell me nothing has changed." That they were still a team…
"Are you dating him?" He asked as he took the offered ice from a gym attendant and applied it to her face.
"No… No, we never dated."
"Do you want to?" She shied away from him.
"If I did, what would you think about that?"
"You can't do that."
"Wh-why?"
"When did you become this liar Em? I love you but I don't know how to trust you anymore. I want to, I really do… I've known you for a long time, but after this year, I feel like I don't know you at all."
"I'm sorry." She was holding it in. Her face hurt. Her heart hurt more.
"Hotch Emily… It's Hotch…" He couldn't wrap his mind around it. "This team is hanging by a thread with Strauss. We've been thrown one hurdle after another with you. And we roll with it because we love you, but when is it going to end? What's gonna come out next?"
"Derek…"
"No, you know what…" He paused. He didn't want to say anything he'd regret. Everyone involved was still someone he cared about and worked with. He didn't want to hurt them, but he was hurting. "You should go."
"I don't want to leave things like this."
"Go take care of yourself and I'll see you at the recital."
"Morgan…"
"You need to go Emily. I need to work this out and calm down. I don't know what hurts more; that I trust you with my life and you can't trust me with anything or that I'm the last to know. That's what last night with Reid was about right? JJ and Rossi obviously knew. He doesn't miss a beat and JJ did know about Charlie before any of us. I'm guessing Garcia found out somewhere along the way. And if she's keeping a secret…" There was no need to finish that. The blonde didn't know how to keep secrets… unless she felt she really had to or it was no one's business (but hers of course). He shook his head, clearly angry and upset. "Are you actually telling me because you trust me or is it just a necessity?"
"Derek I've always…"
"No." He knew what she was going to say. "You didn't. If you did, this wouldn't be happening right now. Everybody has their secrets… But you… You're a vault. I don't know if half the things you've said over the years are true anymore."
"Derek…"
"I come to you time and time again asking you what's wrong, asking you to trust me, to let me be your friend. It's all a lie."
"It wasn't… It's not. I love you Derek. You mean so much to me."
"Yeah? Well it doesn't feel like it."
"I'm sorry." Her voice pleaded for his forgiveness.
"You should go. I need to work this out before I get to the recital."
"You… You're still coming?" Did that mean he forgave her?
"You may not be my favorite person right now and I don't know how I feel about seeing him, but I love that little girl. I told her I'd be there and I don't go back on my word."
"I know you don't. Thank you."
"I don't get it Em."
"Get it?"
"For years, you kept her from us. We forgave that. In your world, it made sense. You were even trying to protect her. With Doyle out there, I guess I understood that. But then you kept her father from her… Hotch is a lot of things… But a bad dad? I don't think so."
"I never said he was…"
"I didn't think he was… Until I saw how much he hurt you. All the times you cried over his actions."
"It was my fault… I made a mess and… How was he supposed to react? How would you?"
"If one of my one night stands told me she had my kid, I'd be skeptical, but I'd handle it like a man. I wouldn't run away or push her away, I'd make it work. I sure as hell wouldn't look at her like trash for raising my kid all those years. I'd be pissed as hell, but I wouldn't take it out on the kid."
"You think he looks at me like trash?" She felt a pang in her heart. She was afraid he'd look at Hotch differently, and he did, but she didn't put much worry into him looking at her differently. She felt she'd deserve whatever came her way. But she didn't expect his words to hurt so much. Was that how he saw her?
"Come on Em… Don't you?" Once he cooled down, he's realize he didn't mean it. It was just a culmination of left over feelings about her time spent with Doyle and now this…
"No… No I don't. And I think I'm going to go before either of us say anything we regret. He's the father of my daughter. And he's our boss. I had my reasons for doing what I did. Were they good ones? Probably not, but it felt that way at the time. I trapped myself in a corner and that was the only way I could try to get out. What I did was wrong, the way he reacted could've been better… But really put yourself in his shoes. No matter what, we're still a team Morgan. He's still our boss. Remember that when you see him."
"Some boss he is. Drill sergeant at work, ass at home. This team is so fucked. Do you have any idea how messed up this all is?" He was trying to understand it all and not doing it very well at all. He was angry, of course, and upset with both involved. They didn't tell the team, which was understandable for a little while. But she had years to do what needed to be done. He talked to her, told her things, and she kept everything from him. And, he thought as he searched his brain, neither party looked very good in the situation. Both appeared to have made many mistakes and it all added up to faults and blaming. It formed opinions; strong opinions.
Sadly, knowing that it wasn't going to be resolved in one sitting, Emily "I better go."
"Wait, Em." He called.
"What Morgan?"
"Answer one thing for me."
She stopped. "Anything."
"Do you love him?"
"What?"
"Do you love him? Is he worth breaking this team apart? Because that's what you'd be doing. Maybe you could get past the rules. No one listens to it and people fraternize within the bureau, but if things go wrong… If you guys don't work, we break. That fit we have now just stops fitting. Is it worth that?"
The sad thing was… She couldn't answer. Was it worth it? Was there a choice? And he didn't get the answer, just the back of her head walking away. There'd be brief apologies shared later that day, but the things said would stick with both of them.
"You let him land a shot Love? I thought I taught you better than that." Clyde poked fun.
"I wasn't expecting it. I let my guard down." She explained. "It will heal."
"Ah, never an easy thing for you, letting go, exposure."
"And now I kind of wish I didn't do it."
"I don't believe that." He said whole heartedly. Much like himself, she was a very closed off individual. The job they had forced them to get close fast and rely on one another. Eventually, that became a lasting open friendship. But that was a very secluded bubble they found themselves in. Not just anyone could come in.
"No?"
"No. Care to know why?"
"You'd tell me either way."
"Because I know you. You'd hate yourself for keeping it from them any longer. If I know you like I feel I do, you likely aren't happy with yourself as is."
"You got me there."
"You can't change what has already happened. You can't redo what's already done. You taught me not to dwell in my regrets Em. Perhaps you should heed your own advice. We live in the present, not the past. Don't beat yourself up about that which you have no control over. " He handed her a liquor glass to replace the tea. The night called for something stronger. "Don't overthink it all. Forget about all the rest and simply figure out what would make you happy."
"And how do I do that? My decisions can affect so many other people and so many other parts of my life." She stopped. "And…"
"And what?"
"Do you think it could ever really work Clyde?"
"Could what work Darling?"
"Aaron and me… as a couple? Do you think that has any chance of ever working out?" She asked quietly, her eyes searching out at the London skyline.
"Do you doubt it could?"
"I don't know." She told him. "It could, I suppose… But it could go terribly wrong too. At what cost is it to even try?"
"Why are you thinking so negatively? You were never all that bright and shiny, but never such a pessimist either."
"I just… worry."
"About?"
"Everything."
"Someone say something to you? Should I put on my boxing gloves and, what is it they say, put him through the ringer?"
"A lot of some ones said a lot of things Clyde."
"Care to be more forthcoming? Was it Morgan?"
"Him too, but mostly Reid."
"Ah, the genius. What did he say?"
"When I told him about Charlie, he took it very well. He asked me why I didn't tell him before and asked if I trusted him, so I explained things as best I could. It wasn't a perfect reaction, but it wasn't horrible… Then he goes with what he knows."
"And that would be?"
"He tells me all the statistics on interoffice relationships and all about our dysfunction. And I don't think he meant it as anything more than him being him talking with me… But he asked what would happen with the team. He asked what problems it could cause… what happens to the rest of them? It's just he brought a lot up that I need to think about and consider."
"All you need to consider is whether your happiness is important. If they truly love you, they'll all support it, whether they approve or not."
"Do you support it?"
"Oh Darling… I've been supporting this long before you realized it was what you want. My life should become much easier now that you have." He kissed her cheek. "I'm glad you're here Love. Unfortunately, I have a meeting I must attend in the morning. I just couldn't get out of it. So, I will be turning in for the night. As always, make yourself at home. I love you. Don't say up all night thinking either."
"I won't."
"You lie."
"I won't, I promise." And it was a promise she'd keep. She would think, of course, but for the first time, what she wanted was becoming clear. And apparently, her subconscious would be sending signals her way too in the coming days. Long after her late, on her part, call to Charlie and into the wee hours of the morning when her body finally caught up with the time zone, Emily fell into a peaceful sleep. The rest of her week in England, she hoped, would consist of easy days where clarity would come easy and stress would melt away. She'd see how close to that she came.
As for Hotch, his time with Charlie was going well. On Wednesday morning, he got up nice and early, packed a small bag for both of them, threw it in the trunk of his car, and prepared an easy to go breakfast before waking Charlie. "I sleepy daddy. Go away." She grumbled. It was much too early for her liking.
"I know sweetheart. But we have to get you dressed and ready. You can sleep in the car."
"Where we going?" She asked, her voice muffled by the pillow.
"You'll see."
The idea of a surprise was enough to get the tired child up and about. She zombied her way through getting dressed and all the normal routine before Hotch helped her get strapped into her booster seat and on the road they went. They travelled for a few hours, a trip made a little longer by the several bathroom and food stops they had to make along the way. By the time they arrived it was mid-afternoon and the nerves he'd been ignoring finally hit. Taking a deep calming breath, he went to pull his sleeping daughter from the backseat.
With her securely in his arms, he made his way to the door. His finger lingered over the doorbell before he finally pressed it. Waiting, the nerves just wouldn't calm. It would be ok, he reminded himself. "Aaron! You're here." She greeted excitedly, almost waking Charlie. When she saw the child, she felt confused her brows furrowing, but she held off on questions. "Come in. Come in. What are you waiting for?"
"Is the room ready?"
"Yes, you know where it is." He excused himself to go lie Charlie down and let her nap. It was a long ride.
"Hi mom." He finally greeted her properly. "Sorry." He apologized. "She made it through the entire ride wide awake, but ten minutes from the house and she conks out. I was hoping she'd be awake when we got here."
"Aaron." She stopped him, signaling for him to join her on the couch for a cup of coffee. "That wasn't Jack."
"No, no that wasn't Jack." He agreed without going into further detail.
"When you called and said you were coming for a visit and asked if I could get Sean's old room ready… I assumed you were bringing Jack or even… Maybe a significant other and you were just trying to placate me with the second room. That's a child."
"She is a child." He confirmed.
"Aaron." His mother scolded. "Not that I mind… but why? Who?" She asked
"I've been meaning to talk to you about this for some time now. Actually, I'm glad she's napping so I can do this."
"Do what Aaron? Who is she?"
"She's… She's your granddaughter." He didn't know whether to look away or look for her reaction. He was just putting it right out there and that would be that.
"My… my granddaughter… But how? Who? What?"
"There's a lot I need to tell you. But… She's my daughter."
"Oh Aaron…" She was taken aback, her body flooded with a sense of euphoria. Another grandbaby… a granddaughter. She finally had another and one of each to boot. So, clearly it didn't happen quite the way she imagined it to, but it did. And the happy feeling was stronger and more persistent than anything else. "A little girl Hotchner… Tell me everything." The smile on her face washed away any and all nerves he may have had. "Everything there is to know about her." And how she came to be in his life.
"She's… she's absolutely amazing."
"Any girl of yours would be amazing. Tell me more."
"She's so beautiful and funny and curious. The way she sees the world is… it's so fascinating… And God, she couldn't be any more like her mother if she tried. Smart as a whip and… she just…" As a mother watching her son talk about his child, Helen couldn't have been more proud. The smile he had when discussing her was infectious. She knew, in that moment, no matter what the story was, that child and her mother were family. They'd be as much a part of her life as her children were, just like Haley and Jack were. And she could listen to the details forever. "You should see Jack with her. They took to each other better than I could've hoped. He's so protective of her already."
"You were the same way with your brother." She informed him. Already, he told her stories about the girl and facts, but he seemed to glance over some of the most basic information. "How old is she? What's her name?" Helen had yet to see more than the dark hair on the girl's head.
"You've met her before." He answered, this time looking away.
"I did? When?"
"Actually, twice now."
"Twice?"
"That's… She's Charlie. She's five, and she's my daughter with… with Emily."
"Emily? The one I met on your team? The one that was in the hospital? The one at Sean's opening?"
"Yeah, that's her."
"But… Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't she?"
"I know it's confusing, but we had a lot of sorting and figuring out to do on our own before we told everyone. Somewhere along the line, I just lost track of my plan to tell you." He looked and sounded sincere, as he was, but the truth she saw was enough to want to cut him some slack. Who was she kidding, the fact that she finally got another grandchild was enough for her to grant him that. "I'll answer any questions you have the best I can."
There was a give and take session where she asked what she needed to ask regarding the situation and how it all came to be. And he answered with what he could. There were still some things a guy just didn't talk about with his mother, but he was forthcoming and truthful.
"Emily seems like a good woman who made some bad choices." She told him. "And I'd like to be mad at her for keeping this sweet little girl from her family, from you and me, your brother, hers… but, from what you tell me they were the wrong choices made from a good thought. I'm choosing to accept that that's the past… I just want to get to know this blessed child as my granddaughter. As your daughter."
"You're going to love her mom."
"I already do son. I already do."
"Daddy?!" Charlie called out for her father. Waking up in an unfamiliar place was frightening. But her voice alone, no matter the tone, warmed the older woman's heart.
"Go get your baby. Bring her to me." The excitement in her voice couldn't be missed. The situation didn't matter, the past had no influence, all that she cared about was making that little girl comfortable and happy and part of her family.
Hotch responded to Charlie's calls telling her he was coming pacifying her as he rushed to her. "Hey sweetheart. Have a good nap?"
"Are we here? Are we at your mommy's?" He let the cat out of the bag at some point during the ride. She was persistent in her pursuit of truth; a little agent in the making, already a skilled interrogator.
"Yeah." He picked her up off the bed and wiped the sleep from her eyes. "She's in the other room and excited to play with you again."
"Does she still like me?"
"Oh sweetie, she already loves you." She smiled and nestled herself into his body. "Ready?" Charlie nodded into his shoulder as she shyly hid there. She was nervous and she didn't know why. "Mom." He called out as he walked into the living room. "This, is Charlie. I know you've met her, but this is my daughter." He said it with so much pride that it didn't even matter that he was repeating himself.
"Hi Charlie." She went to greet her. "Do you remember me?"
"Uh huh. You played with me and Jack on his birthday."
"I did. And you know what?"
"What?"
"I had a lot of fun. Maybe we can talk a little and you can tell me what kind of things you like so we can play some more."
"Ok." She warmed up, finally separating herself from her father. "Do you like tea party? Or, or drawing?" Her eyes widened with a hopeful wonder. "Those are my favorite."
"Then you're in luck little lady. I just so happen to have a vintage tea set I was saving for a special child that came into my life. And I think that girl is you."
"Me?"
"Yeah. Want to see it?"
"Yes please."
In no shock, the two got along very well. As much as Helen loved her grandson, she loved having a girl in her life. Her entire life was spent around mostly men. Her mother died when she was a teen leaving her to be raised by a father, she married her husband not long after high school, she raised two sons, and she was blessed with a beautiful grandson. But, there were things you just couldn't do with boys. You couldn't braid their hair or play dress up. You couldn't do the tea parties and fun frilly things. Sure, it happened from time to time with boys, but it wasn't often, and it didn't happen with any of her boys. So she jumped at the chance to finally do all of that with Charlie. She wasn't going to waste a second.
"Daddy, play too?"
"Yes Aaron, join us." She also wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to see her tough guy son break out his feminine side. That would be a waste of an opportunity.
The three of them spent the next few days really bonding. He loved watching two important people in his life interact as more than a friendly acquaintance kind of way, but as a family should. He didn't have the easiest childhood, what with his father's philandering and abusive tendencies and then his eventual death from cancer, but his mom was always there for him and his brother. He was happy he was the one that gave her, her first grandchild and then her first granddaughter as well. He was happy he was the one that could help bring some life back into her aging body. And Helen, well, she was just happy her son was happy. She hadn't seen anyone besides Jack bring back such a smile to his face for some time now, but Charlie did that for him. She had a feeling there was another someone who helped with that too. But that was something for her to get into later. Until then, she was enjoying getting to know this new little being more, and the more she did, the more family resemblance she saw.
"Do you like cooking Charlie?" She could always pass on a few family recipes to a willing learner too. That always made her happy.
Emily couldn't say her time away was going quite the same way. She was enjoying it, of course, but she missed her girl. She missed her friends. She missed it all. At the same time, she loved being around Clyde. He was her original family, the first person who helped her understand what that meant and gave her the sense of belonging. The two worlds, one in London and one in Virginia, just didn't seem to mesh. To have one constantly meant little of the other. It just wasn't fair. All her family should be one, but it all felt like she had to choose favorites.
Clyde though, like he usually was, was being great to her. He took her out to pubs and for fancy dinners. He shopped with her, a dreaded pastime for him, but something he'd do for her. "I'll be your bellhop, your bag boy." He told her. Who was she to turn him down? That was what she called excellent service.
Midweek, she joined him for a very special meeting, thinking going in there, that she'd find clarity. In the end, it just made her more confused. She was being given the chance of a lifetime, but that would mean giving up something she worked so hard to build. But wasn't this chance the ultimate goal? …Career wise. What was more important? What was she to do? Could she pass it up? She didn't see who would. She was basically being wooed. The money, relocation costs, the perks… Who would say no?
"That went swimmingly." Clyde whispered in her ear as he guided her out of the restaurant.
"It did. I didn't expect… any of that."
"You're a wanted woman Love." Too wanted maybe.
"Yeah…"
"I told you not to come, to say you were busy."
"I thought it would help me decide."
"But it only made you more confused."
"Exactly." Which was what the guy wanted. He wanted to make the offer so perfect it was near impossible to say no. Clyde tried to warn her.
"You'll figure it out. Your heart just has to catch up with your mind. You know what you want Darling. When you stop analyzing it all, it will become clear."
"I hope you're right."
"You shall see."
She went to bed that night overthinking, wondering if making the leap, whichever one she chose, or not making any at all, would prove best. What was the fallout of each choice? The benefits? The everything… everything had a cause and effect and she tried to figure it all out. Needless to say, she didn't find answers that night. She, instead, fell into a restless slumber and even found herself in a nightmare or two. She swore her ulcer was going to eat a hole through her stomach.
But there was no time limit on figuring things out. Clarity could come at any moment, in any form.
"Mama!" The small voice called. "Dada!"
The whine that followed really pulled them out of bed. "I got it." She turned to her partner.
"You sure? You didn't sleep much last night."
"Neither did you." She said suggestively.
"True, you go. I'm beat."
Smiling, she walked down the hall and peered through the other doors on the way. No one else was awake, yet thankfully. "Hi baby."
"Mama!"
"You couldn't sleep huh? Too excited for your big day." She walked over to the crib where the baby's hands opened and closed.
"Up." He told her.
"Yeah, come to mama big boy." She pulled the little boy into her arms, his little head resting on her shoulder as she ran her hand through his thick, dark mane. "Happy birthday. I can't believe you're one today, can you?"
"I know I can't." Both heads moved to follow the voice. "Happy birthday buddy!" He kissed his son. "He's getting so big."
"I know. It makes me sad. I miss him being so little before he could walk and throw things and love you more than me." She joked.
Wrapping them both in a hug from behind, his mouth at her ear, he whispered, "We can always work on having another."
"He turns one and you want me to pop out another. I'm not a baby machine."
"But we're really good at making them."
"Mmm… We are." She cooed. "Really good."
"So we should get on that."
"You mean you want to get on me."
"That too."
"I think he's hungry." She told him. "And we already have three kids."
"Then what's one more?"
"You really want another?"
"I'd love it. Wouldn't you? Maybe Charlie and Jack could get a little sister this time. And our little boy here would have a sibling closer to his age. It would be great."
"You just want to see me pregnant again."
"You're always beautiful, but even more so when you're carrying my child."
"You're possessive."
"I'm in love with a gorgeous woman, living the dream. I should be possessive."
"When did you become such the charmer?"
"About the time I married you."
"Smooth." She put her son down in his play pen. "I'll tell you what." She smirked and walked over to him. Kissing him, she seductively told him, "I'm going to get him a bottle. When I come back up, a shower will be running and there will be room for one other person."
"Oh really?"
"Really, and if you're really good, we might even have time to work on the next little Hotchner. At the very least, we can practice."
"I like practice."
"Me too." She stepped away and playfully swatted his butt. "Better go get that shower ready huh? Only so much time before the others wake up. No practice with the kids running around."
Thousands of miles and several time zones apart, and they both awoke from similar dreams. It was a good dream. They could both see a future like that; them and their kids. Happy. They could be happy.
But there was an alternative to that. There was a broken dream and a family torn apart after a nasty split. He was lucky with Haley. They were amicable. He wasn't lucky enough to get that twice. Really, who was? Even though there was a lot to think about and just as many reasons not to, they realized their feelings were real and strong, and also kind of powerful. As a team, as a family, all their lives were intertwined. Their decisions, their choices acted as dominos, but not all dominos were bad. In any game, there was a winner at the end. And the losers didn't have to come up empty. That was something they were just coming to grasp.
It didn't have to end the world if things didn't end with the perfect image of happily ever after. That wasn't how the world worked. There could still be happy though. Imperfection was more perfect than any idea of perfection ever could be in the first place.
No matter what the outcome would be, they both realized they wanted something to happen between them. They just had to get there and make everything else work too. There was a lot in their lives they didn't want to lose. So, there was still some consideration to do. It was just a dream and there was no guarantee their futures would look anything like that or that they'd have any future together at all. And even if they did, what did the rest of their life look like? Were they happy? Did they still have their jobs?
It was safe to say though, the good dream had Aaron wide awake in the middle of the night. It was their last night there. He wanted to get an early start and have a quiet few days at home with Charlie before his race on Saturday and Charlie's departure after that. But that vision of the future made him want it more. To, hopefully, clear his mind a little and get back to bed, he left to fetch some water. Maybe that would help.
"Aaron?" She startled him.
"Mom, what are you doing awake?"
"Me? I heard someone prowling my kitchen. I thought it might be my little sweetheart and needed to check. But it's you." Ouch mom, he thought. "What are you doing up?"
"Just… had a weird dream and couldn't get back to sleep."
"Want to talk to me about it?"
"It was really nothing. It was a good dream actually."
"I can tell by that little grin. You used to do that all the time as a boy. It's how I knew you were having a good dream when you tossed and turned rather than a bad one." Helen pinched his cheek. "Was it about her?"
"Her?"
"Emily." She stated and before he could protest, she continued, "I don't want to hear about it if it's one of those - those sex dreams… but it was about her, wasn't it?"
"I… Why would you think that?"
Without answering, she joined him at the table. "Tell me about Emily. I've spent all this time getting to know your daughter with her, but very little about the mother herself."
"What's there to say?" So much. "She's what I imagine Charlie to be like when she's older. Though, I sincerely hope she's not nearly as stubborn and pigheaded and fiercely independent as her. You've seen Charlie and you've met her, you know she's a beautiful woman. Charlie had to get her looks somewhere, right?" His dimples flared. "She's the type of person that runs herself into the ground trying to take care of everyone else and forgetting to take care of herself unless someone steps in to remind her. She's loyal and so annoyingly independent, but once she lets you in, you never want to do anything to change that…"
"Oh, my boy… You love her… I saw it when you first brought her up after that danger she found herself in, and I see it now when you talk about her. You really love her." It was something she hadn't seen in her son for some time. There was happiness there, buried under the tough exterior and baggage.
"I… I think I do…" He admitted. "If you saw that before, why didn't you say something?" Save him from the mental mindfuck he put himself in.
"Oh Aaron. I'm your mother. If I told you that you were in love with this woman, would you take my word for it? No, no you'd deny it and suppress it just to prove me wrong. This was something you needed to figure out on your own… But I think you did, and I'm glad."
"Me too."
"Does that mean you're together? Is there a future Mrs. Hotchner? Some wedding bells coming your way?"
"Mom…" She was pushing it.
"Alright, alright. So when do I get to see her again? Why didn't you bring her with you this time?"
"She's in Europe, and we're not together. I just wanted to officially introduce you to your granddaughter."
"And I couldn't be happier that you did."
"What's on your mind mom?"
He could tell there was something on her mind. There was something in the way she said that. "You, Aaron, are an incredible man. I remember in high school when you joined that ridiculous play and did some horrible acting just to win Haley's heart… And I saw the heartbreak that came when years later it didn't work out. I love Haley dear. She is a great woman and she gave my son and my grandson happiness. But she was never going to understand your work. You two, for all the love and memories you shared, out grew each other. I so hoped the two of you would make it, but she wanted you to do the 9 to 5 life with no travel and no bad guys. And that just wasn't my boy. This woman though. This Emily, she has to get it because she lives it too. She is with you on the daily grind and understands why you do what you do. So don't be afraid of what could happen. Don't be afraid to put your heart on the line for her and fight for her. Be the romantic I know you can be and win her heart. That little girl deserves to see her parents happy. Jack deserves to see you happy again, to understand that love is more than his the arguments his parents had. And I have a feeling she will do that for you. Maybe you for her too. The way you interact with her is so natural. I saw it in New York. You're drawn to each other and, for whatever reasons, you're fighting it. But instead of fighting each other, fight for each other." She stood and moved to her son. "Think about that my boy. This old woman needs some sleep. I love you."
"I love you too mom."
His mother sure was an enlightened woman. Where was she when the whole mess began? He could've used her wisdom. Taking her words to heart, he felt he could finally get some rest. He turned in for a few more hours before it was time to go. He was sad to leave his mother. Charlie was too. They took to each other the first time they met, and it was only natural they still got on so well.
"Remember what I said Aaron. Do what's best for you. You can get a new job. You can't get a new love. Make that work first. Your family will still be there." She spoke quietly as she squeezed him tight. "And you." The aging woman slowly made her way to Charlie's eye level. "It was very nice spending time you. Don't be a stranger with Grandma, you hear?"
"I had fun Grandma."
"How 'bout a hug for this old lady?"
"You're not old." She said as she easily slid into Helen's arms. "You're pretty."
"Oh Aaron. Isn't she a doll?" She smiled. "I love you both. Have a safe trip home."
A few final goodbyes and one last hug, and they were on the road again. As planned, the rest of their time together was quiet, just the two of them having some father daughter time and playing games. That kind of thing. Saturday morning, came and it was time for race day. The whole team agreed to be there except for Emily. After their incident – or whatever – and her semi impromptu fleeing of the country, it was clear she wouldn't be able to make it there.
"You're going to do so good daddy! I made you a sign with Jack!"
"You did! Thanks sweetheart."
"Is Jack going to be there? Or Grandma? JJ and Will and Henry? Penny? Or, or Derek and Spencer and Dave?"
"Jack's still at camp and Grandma can't make it, but everyone else should be there." Now that they were on speaking terms again. It was amazing what not avoiding things could accomplish.
"Awesome."
"You're going to stay with them while I race, ok?"
"Ok." She agreed with a nod. Shortly after their arrival and his check in, the rest of the team appeared in one big group. "Penny!" Charlie immediately ran to them, Garcia greedily wrapping her in a hug and engaging her.
"Hey now. Don't forget about Mr. Handsome here."
"Derek!" She switched arms. "I finally get some chocolate."
"I see Miss Garcia here has been teaching you some nicknames." She nodded vigorously. "Be careful with that kid." He winked and set her down.
"Spencer." She hugged him, and as he usually did, he awkwardly returned the gesture. "Mommy read me a story all about the different stars. I'm as smart as you now!"
"Smarter I bet."
They all gathered together, Hotch making his rounds of greetings and everyone wishing him luck. Finally, Garcia saw her opportunity.
"Here's some money." Garcia handed a bill to each of the kids. "Why don't you see if one of these big men will take you to the concession stand and buy you some treats while simultaneously protecting you from those steroid filled gigantamos who clearly ate their Wheaties and don't need to be filling up on whatever junk they have there?" She needed them gone, and, thankfully, Will volunteered himself. The techie waited for Will to depart with the kids before she pulled out her serious face. "Why is Emily not in France?!" Garcia, not so calmly asked JJ.
"What do you mean?"
"Why is she in London?"
"She's in London?" It seemed like a collective question, several voices melding into one.
"And why is she calling me about some guy who turns out to be the head honcho at a different alphabet agency asking me for the deets?" JJ squirmed a bit hoping no one caught it. But they did. "Oh no. You know something. Spill right now missy or I… or I… I max out all your credit cards and take out a second mortgage in your name!" She threatened, but the blonde was still hesitant.
"I don't know…"
"Don't lie to me! I did some digging. Her passport dinged in Heathrow. London has some of the most surveillance cameras in the world. I checked video feed. She met with that guy." She flashed her phone which had a picture of Emily shaking hands with a man they didn't know. "Why?"
"I love him JJ. I can admit that. But I also have to think of the team and what I've already done to us. I can't just demolish us completely. That can't be on me… Sometimes…"
"Sometimes what?"
"Sometimes I wonder if the team would be better off without me on it. We're a family, but not all family is meant to work together…"
Quickly, she assured her friend that wasn't the case. She didn't think too much of it then though, the job offer slipping her mind. She knew Emily was confused and that talking with the guys had her wounded, but she didn't think it would be enough to make her want to leave… It was just something she said; a thought spoken out loud. It wasn't supposed to be more than that, or she hoped.
"Oh no!"
"Oh no? Oh no what? I don't like the sound of that at all."
"She said something before she left… I didn't read between the lines. I thought she was just venting." The group all crowded around her.
"What? What is it?! Speak Sunshine! Speak!"
"She's going to kill me for saying this…"
"But?"
"But she got a job offer… To work for Interpol again… overseas."
"No! She said no right?! She had to have said no. Tell me she said no. Why are you not telling me she said no?!"
"It didn't look like she was going to take it… But…"
"Why is there always a but?"
"But she seemed really confused lately. And… And after what happened with Morgan and Reid…"
"What happened with them?!" Garcia stared them both down. Morgan looked a little guilty, Reid oblivious. If Morgan didn't tell her about it, it had to be bad.
"I think she might be thinking about it… I think she might really do it." The blondes both deflated, a somber note hitting them all.
Hotch's mind was racing with what he heard. What?! He… he couldn't lose her… He couldn't lose either of them… And he wouldn't. He wouldn't allow it. It wasn't even an option. Overseas… He'd never see them. How would he survive that?
"Look." Morgan pulled Hotch aside, but not far enough away to keep the prying ears from overhearing. He was just grateful the kids were getting a slushie with Will. "I know she told you what happened with us. And I know I said some things to you when I stopped by…" They may have patched things up enough to be civil, but there were still issues between them that would just take a little time to blow over. "But you can't let her go. We don't want her to leave. We work because we're a unit. All of us… Together. It doesn't work without her. You need to stop her. You need to… You need to tell her how you feel man."
"Where's this coming from? Is this just because you don't want her to go or do you actually mean it?" It was a far cry from the words he spoke not that long before,
"I'm sorry for my outburst with her. And I'm sorry for the way I handled things with you. I was wrong. I was seeing red. All I could see was that Emily kept another thing from us and so did you. And then she… It was like she was… it was like the team was being threatened and… It doesn't matter. I was worried about me and how I felt. But… I was wrong. You don't need it, but if you want to be with Emily. You have my permission." A chorus pronouncement of "all of ours" rang behind them. "You deserve to be together. To be happy."
"What changed your mind Derek?"
"Charlie." He answered plainly. "I heard her call you daddy… And suddenly, it made sense. She deserves a father in her life. For the most part, you fit the bill. You're a pretty good dad. You have your faults, made your mistakes, but I've known you long enough to know you don't do stupid. You don't make choices without thinking them through, so those mistakes you made with them… I know they weren't to hurt her. It's their business to forgive you. I'm just not going to stay in the way."
"Thank you."
"But remember Hotch. They're our family too. We all love her, just like you. We've got eyes on all of you."
"I got it."
"Good. Now go do your thing and we'll be here cheering you on. But then come up with a way to keep her here. We all have to keep her here."
How was he supposed to run and bike and swim for hours after that? He could be losing his family!
He needed to fix this. He needed to make her see what she had there… with him and their family.
He wouldn't let her run. And he wouldn't run either. She wouldn't be closing off from him. Not this time, not ever again… He wouldn't allow it because none of them could lose her, not even to another continent.
"I have a better idea. But I need your help." He told them. There was no way he'd be able to do the race with that news hanging over him.
And so the quest to keep the team together and their family strong began. What they didn't know was that Emily's mind was already made, with or without whatever came next…
What's the plan? Oh I can't wait for you to find out. The next chapter makes me happy. It'll be a little bit of a wait, but you'll know when to expect it. If I find time in between everything to write more, I might upload earlier.
I'm also sad to say there are only a few more chapters left. Maybe five or so. Knowing me, we can't be sure, so probably a little more. My fingers just get away from me when I type. I'm thinking about a sequel though. I already have an idea, which I happen to love, but I don't know. Anyone interested?
Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.
Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…
greengirl82 Sorry for your loss. I didn't expect a review from you, though I tend not to expect them from anyone so I'm always pleasantly surprised. I appreciate you taking the time to write one. I'm glad you caught up and have enjoyed it. JJ probably should've gotten more heat for that. If there was room to fit it in in my endlessly long chapters I would've added it. Actually, I did writ out a little scene but it got cut out.
Guest Thanks so much. They really do need to kiss and get together. That supply closet idea's looking pretty good huh?
HPforever-after Come on now, if they told her that, what would there be to think about? I'm pretty sure my mind automatically goes to "what's more dramatic" so when thinking ahead, go with that. They really do need to get their shit together though, don't they? Soon…
Guest Thank you! Junk shall be figured. I swear. Scout's honor. That will be explored to some extent this chapter.
finolagrace Thank you. Glad you liked it. More has arrived.
sourgummycandy Aww, that's sweet. Thanks so much. If only it could never end. Bu, soon it will. Thee may be a sequel though if people want it. If not, I may use my ideas as a new story it just won't have Charlie in it, which would be a little sad, no? Honestly, I'm with you on that, sometimes I don't know what to do with those two either.
123a456e Thank you. New chapter that didn't take months. Yay me.
Celina79 Don't worry about it. Any review is a nice one and very appreciated whether done religiously or sporadically. They can be frustrating though, I agree. I think it makes for a good story though. That may just be me. I love it. Life is frustrating sometimes. Now time to step away from frustrating and work on molding their hearts to one yes?
SouthunLady Very violent there huh? Should I run and hide so you don't want to punch me? They're both kind of screwed up. They love each other though. They'll figure it out.