Chapter 35

Crucify My Heart

"Hell is something you carry along with you,

not somewhere you go"

Neil Gaiman

"Mama," Celeste croaked. "I hear footsteps, drawing near." She said quietly.

"Celeste!"

"I love you mama, I'm sorry." Her daughter was sorry? Now, it was her that was to be apologizing on her knees. Her daughter had nothing to be sorry for.

"Celeste, wait, don't hang up, don't go!" Angela heard on the other line a rustling and Celeste screaming before the line went dead.

As I was taken up surprise, I hung up as I desperately tried to fight back whoever grabbed me.

It was dark and I was flaying and twisting around, screaming bloody murder. Even if the other person was saying something to me, I wouldn't be able to hear over the sound of my own scream and pounding in my ears.

I somehow managed to disorient the other person enough to get them to let me go.

I immediately allowed both of us to lose balance to get the other person onto the floor. To which, out of sheer desperation I began just beating said person with the cellphone I had in my hand.

Somewhere in the middle of my haze of survival, fear and bloodlust, I finally made out what the other person was saying.

"Stop, Amina-" The person underneath me yelped in pain as I managed to break their nose. "Stop! You're going to kill me!"

Then just like that, it was like the cloud I was under began to get lifted. My eyes adjusted to my surroundings once I realized that the voice was very feminine and familiar.

"Brianna?" Was that really her?

"Now you ask? When you almost beat me half to death?" Her voice sounded angry and strained. Then I realized that I was still putting all my weight on-top of her and that her face was smeared from blood.

I got off immediately. I didn't bother asking if she was okay, it was clear I did viciously attack her with a cellphone.

"Why did you surprise me like that? I would've killed you!" And I almost had. Had it not been that her voice was distinctly feminine, and caused me to question what I was doing. My next aim was going to be bashing her head in.

Luckily at most I only gave her a bruised face and black eye.

Out of the dimless night, I could now perfectly make out Brianna's feminine silhouette. "Is that the thanks you give when someone has been searching for you?!" She was glaring at me, while holding her nose in pain. "You said you would be back and you weren't. I have been searching for you ever since."

When I realized that she had a point, I felt like young child being berated. "You are right, I'm sorry." I softened then, realizing I was still on edge and treating her as coldly and distantly as if she were an enemy or a stranger.

"Thank you." And I meant it too.

"Also, what were you hitting me with?" Brianna asked, her pretty italian face twisting itself into a grimace. "A rock?"

"No, a cellphone."

"What!?" Brianna screeched, and there was something crazed and dare I say, worried, with that tone. She noticed that I still had the cellphone in my hand, quickly taking it before I had a chance to stop her.

"Hey!" I remarked angrily. "What are yo-" I wasn't even able to finish that sentence because Brianna had ripped it apart and effectively destroyed the inner delicate parts underneath the heel of her shoes.

It was a sudden and destructive thing. She looked at me again once that was over with, smoothing herself upwith dried blood on parts of her face. "You didn't make a call right?"

"Do you mind telling me, what in the world was that for?" I wasn't very appreciative of someone making decisions for me. Even if she had come back for me, she could've told me her intentions, and we could've discussed it. I wasn't really caring if this was done for the best, if she did it for the same reasons as my earlier apprehension with cell phones in general. But at the focal point of it, she had acted on her own, expecting me to just passively accept.

Maybe it was petty of me, maybe it wasn't. All I know is that as if to further get under my skin, she completely dismissed my question. "Did you make a call?" Brianna asked, her voice clipped.

"No." I lied automatically. Though I didn't know quite why. It wasn't like this time around a voice in my head had ushered me to do so, like other times. This wasn't Federico, nor was it the other flame. This was all me. But once it was out there, I wasn't taking it back or denying it. That, I figured, would be worse. "I wanted to," I made sure I put enough reticent disappointment in my voice. "but then I remembered that none of us use cell phones, but by then I had already mugged the town-drunk."

I saw a flicker of amusement flitter across Brianna's eyes. I knew what I had to say next, to solidify my partial lie.

"It was pretty ditzy of me. I'm not going to lie. I was desperate and scared, ever since we got split up-" I wish I could say the way I suddenly felt myself choke was because of my acting skills, and not because just remembering what just happened made me feel all over again.

Feel all that had occurred since I had separated from Brianna, running away from the cloud subordinates.

I remembered Federico, I remembered feeling hope and having it snuffed out in-front of my eyes. It replayed itself again, every brutal moment, every imposing emotion on my very soul.

I had thought living it was the worst thing possible. Now after everything that has happened, I know that it is not true. Living is the easy part, it's the re-living that damages your soul.

I didn't notice when Brianna finally hugged me, until I began to feel the body warmth from another body.

"Let's get out of here. There is a meetup point where Esposito said he would send a ride."

You shouldn't look the gift horse in the mouth was something I had often heard.

But because of my general curious, inquisitive nature, I was not only usually the one to look the gift horse in the mouth, I was also the type to start examining it and asking a bunch of questions.

Did it make me annoying?

Probably.

Has it ensured my survival?

Probably not, if seeing all the people so far who have wanted to kill me or who I have pissed off is any indicator.

Such a moment was unfolding right now. I was trying really hard not to question Brianna, more than I already had. I think it was really more my jealousy and general on edge nature that was making me dislike her at this point.

After all, I had originally disliked her when we first met. Then I continued to do so until after I spent more time with her.

Now I'm just back to where I started.

We had been walking for a while, and now we were nearing a place underneath a bridge.

"Is this the place?" If Esposito was going for a dark and desolate factor, then he got it down pat.

"Yes."

I looked around and felt unnerved. I already disliked small desolate towns, like the ones we have been in and now we come to quite possibly a place that screamed "rape". It screamed it more than it did "secretive meeting place".

It looked like the kind of place where you could scream and nobody would hear you. Or worse, they would but no one would come help you because people are used to it.

That right there, was an even worser reality to deal with. I already experienced it in the mansion in the past, so I knew it wasn't something told in novels to scare people off. Oh no, it seems that people across time have learned that there are some things you aren't meant to get yourself in the middle of.

It took a certain amount of courage to care about others, not everyone was capable of that.

Then I heard footsteps. And out appeared the cloud subordinates. Clenching my teeth I tried to look around for the easiest way to escape.

I couldn't run back from where we came. I was too tired by now to run and there were more of them than there were of us.

Drat, us. There was an us, as in more than one person I had to be mindful of.

I had forgotten I had Brianna with me. I couldn't just abandon her to the wolves. Who knows what they would do to her?

Then how would I explain that to Esposito? Or even look Coach in the eye?

Like hey, I got the girl you loved killed, and now I let Esposito face a similar fate with Brianna.

Just goes to show that having others isn't necessarily a good thing. Sometimes survival is best done when you only have to worry about yourself. Survival after all more often than not, is a selfish thing.

I could see that Brianna had noticed them too. She must be just as scared or even more so than me. She's never have to directly deal with the enemy or ever really fight.

Not that I've done much fighting but I could probably last longer than she would. Courtesy of having so many beatings, near death experiences, and training with Coach. It really is true that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Now it was my turn to offer Brianna solace. Even if it wasn't much.

Even if it wasn't much.

Just as I was debating what would be the best defense strategy while fighting against the current of panic began to rise up, threatening to over-power me; making me useless.

I saw that the cloud subordinates were standing still. That made me even more on edge than I already was. What were they waiting for?

Did that mean that Alphonse is nearby?

"Are you waiting for an invitation? Get her already."

That sound, that voice, that tone.

I turned my head back, so slowly you would think that it took massive amounts of effort to do such a simple task. I wasn't afraid of what I would see, but rather I think a part of me deep down wanted to be in denial for as long as it could.

And when I turned back and saw the owner of that voice I felt that shock become a catalyst for something deep within me to coil and snarl.

Because in that instant I knew the truth. "You bitch." I seethed at her.

There was a level of incredulity, revulsion and anger seeping through my every pore. I must have shown it well that Brianna laughed and came towards me and grasped my chin, forcing me to look at her.

"What's wrong miss know it all? Didn't see this one coming? Isn't it your job to see things like this, as the brain-child behind the planning of the uprising?"

"Why did you do this?" Though the real underlying question was how did she do it? How could she have possibly have done that to Esposito?

Brianna caught on to where my thoughts were heading. "Why not? Esposito was easy enough to manipulate. He's crazy if he thinks that he could ever have a future together with me. What could he have ever offered me?" There was a sneer then on her face as she moved her straight honey locks all onto one shoulder.

I couldn't help it. Amongst all my differences with Esposito he didn't deserve to be dismissed like that. To be talked about as if he was worthless.

"What wouldn't he have offered you? He's in love with you! What more did you want?" I yelled, wanting nothing more than to be able to distort that face of hers. Perfectly symmetrical and beautiful, belonging to such a twisted soul.

Something snapped for Brianna then. "Why can't I want more? I'm beautiful, the world is meant to be mine. Why would I possibly conform myself, lower myself to the love of some low class grunt within the Cinquemani! Already a lesser famiglia to begin with."

It clicked then, even in this situation, the analytical part of me now saw her.

I saw then, what I hadn't noticed before about Brianna. For all that perfect makeup, for all that flawless skin, and straight honey brown locks. Underneath that all lay the ugliest thing of all, the envy and resentment, the feelings of unfilled superiority that made up her very being. All one had to do was listen to her to talk to finally see it.

Now it was my turn to scoff distastefully. "So all this time you were just another empty gold-digger," I stopped as I saw the flash of fury in her eyes. "Sorry, a beautiful empty gold-digger." My voice dripped sarcasm.

The sound of a cracking slap, like echos of a whip, filled the space as the cloud subordinates left us to our spat. My cheek singed, I didn't need to look in a mirror to know it was red.

It burned, but it paled in comparison to the anger I felt. A lot of it towards her, but another part towards myself.

I should've known, I should've seen, this is my fault.

"Shut up. You are the only thing standing in our way." She hissed, yanking on my hair. I couldn't help that flush of berate, the sheer humiliation that rose and crashed in my chest. How could I have not noticed this whole time? Didn't I always make such a big deal on being able to read people? Didn't I have a great intuition?

What in the world wasn't I doing that I let this get on this far?

"Once amore, is done with you, we can finally get our future." She chimed, a blissful look appearing on her face.

As if this couldn't get any worse. Now there are two traitors?

"Amore?" I gasped, my mind quickly connecting the dots even as the word left my mouth.

No.

No, it can't be.

But it was.

"Yes, you heard that right. Alphonse loves me and I love him, and you are what is standing in our way of being together." She smiled then, a genuine one. One of picturing my demise, or whatever it was Alphonse wanted me for.

Then I thought of Esposito. How he looked at Brianna, like she was the reincarnation of the divine and he would worship the very ground she walked on. If only he knew the twisted, deluded person she had been all along. Or her horrible taste in men, because there had to be something clearly missing for someone to have some sort of affection for Alphonse.

You sure know how to pick 'em Esposito.

"You're wrong you know, he doesn't love you." I said flatly. "Such a man doesn't even know what love is."

He was twisted, and awful and the reason why she was here. Why everything bad in her life had happened, because of him. He was past the point of saving, even reaching. It was confirmed when he so easily killed Federico, and took great pleasure from it. He knew nothing about honor, pride, loyalty or family.

Why would anyone choose someone who knew nothing of such things? What could one ever possibly hope for in a future, if they didn't have that clear foundation?

It didn't matter that I was young, it doesn't take a classic old sage man to figure out how to differentiate between manipulation and lies versus love. Anyone can know what is necessary for love to form.

"No!" She denied though she probably didn't realize she had. Had she truly felt that he had, had Brianna truly known, she wouldn't have to be screaming and yelling so hard. She wasn't trying to convince me anymore, she was still convincing herself what she never wanted to face. "What could you possibly know about love!?"

If I had been punched in the gut, even that would've hurt less.

I did know what love is, was.

I felt it in the moment Federico looked at me. I knew it in the way he held me, I knew it through every memory he shared with me before Alphonse took him away from me.

Federico loved me, and as I looked at Brianna, I felt that resentment rise again. You were part of who took him away from me. Before I got to truly know what we could've been like.

The wisps of his being lay inside me, Federico wasn't talking to me anymore, but he was still there connected to my soul with his flame. His mere presence and the way he held on proved it, with no words.

Because I'll never know what kind of love it truly was or could've been. It could've just been simple adoration, simple affection born out of knowing someone for so long and loving their existence. Or it could've been more, it could've been as my betrothed, more than a simple covenant between families.

It could've have been the sort of love that makes you grow, forces you to grow and open up your world while providing a steady anchor through the whole metamorphosis. And with each scenario, each what-could've-been, should've-been, my bitterness grew as my pain deepend.

And the cry threatened to burst from my throat, but we will never know.

Instead of bringing it forth and having it pull me asunder. I shot it down, and amplified it within my soul; hardening it into an ammo and my drive. I sucked in a breath and did what I had to do.

I raised my heel and aimed it quickly behind to kick the knee of the cloud subordinate who was holding me. He let go then out of instinct and I bit the other arm still gripping me.

I tasted blood in my mouth but I wasn't stopping until he let go . With a groan of pain, he did. As he instinctively went for his injuries, I grabbed the dagger he had strapped to his belt.

He went to reach for me out of anger and Brianna stopped him with a haughty laugh and a hand in mid-air.

"No don't grab her yet, let her feel how powerless she truly is. Or are you going to explain how you, a rag tag little girl playing pretend, is going to defeat all those here and escape?"

The others then had the audacity to laugh at her words. I felt my neck bend slightly as I closed my eyes.

She wanted to see that defeat in my face, to destroy me. But she didn't know that she couldn't. Not now, not ever.

I'm not glass, I don't break.

Brianna laughed a dark and malicious sound. "Seems like you've been in the Varia too long, filling yourself with ideas of grandeur." It was disgustingly reminiscent of Alphonse. Guess bitches do take after their masters after all. "You really think one knife is going to be enough to defend yourself?"

She was mocking me with the truth. She was right, but what she didn't realize was that it wasn't my truth.

There was another truth I had startling clear as I held that dagger in my hand.

I remember those months ago, when I first met Xanxus, after Leviathan had pried me off of attacking Alphonse, I still remember telling him that I regretted not being able to rip Alphonse's throat out.

I had said it drlyly then, my sarcastic nature getting the better of me. But I never knew how prophetic those words would become. I have never forgotten how I held that chance, how I could have taken my destiny into my hands in that moment. No one will ever know much I have deeply and painfully regretted not being able to have stopped everything that has ever occurred since then.

Because I could've, had I just hit the right place when he wasn't expecting it.

Esposito's voice rung in my head. A flashback to the day I saved Xanxus from the fire out of instinct.

"You're naive and soft, and you are going to bring us down."

"What are you talking about?"

"The fire."

"Oh what, because I didn't let myself become a barbeque, suddenly that makes me soft?"

"No, what makes you soft is the fact that you had a perfectly good chance to get rid of one of the biggest obstacles we have, our biggest enemy and you didn't it. Instead you saved him and that makes you weak."

Now I stood here before Brianna, a girl who just hours ago, I was beating into the ground with a cellphone. Had I continued a few seconds further, we wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be here right now at the hands of these cloud subordinates, or even Alphonse himself.

"This is where you are naive little brat. You can't afford to waste any opportunities. Get your stuff together. Our enemies are your enemies now."

Back then, Esposito had known full well what I had overlooked. And I continued to do so again, again and again.

I was just damn sorry it took me this long to finally learn my lesson.

Damnit it. She hadn't even had time to get the soot off her body and remotely cleaned up and he had already found out. These people were good. Amina bit her lower lip. "He's your biggest enemy not mine." It was a weak defense, she wasn't a lawyer but she could feel the condemnation even before she finished speaking.

Esposito chuckled darkly. "How the hell do you think you are going to get to Alphonse? Politely asking? Or do you think that the Varia Boss is going to give up to you one of his best men? He's the cloud guardian for a reason."She bristled at the vitriolic tone. He stepped closer to her, closing in on her threateningly. "Or what, wasn't Camilla and Giovanni example enough?" At that her eyes widened like a

deer caught in headlights. And this time she truly felt the guilt crash down upon her. Her eyes burned, vulnerability threatening to spill. She felt like she had disappointed someone, let someone down. She wasn't sure if it was someone else or herself right now.

I rose my head then, and looked at her dead in the eye. My fist clenched hard around the dagger.

"Who said anything about defending myself?"

I knew better now. I hated myself, but I hated them more for making me this way.

Her look of momentary confusion would've been something i deeply relished, if it hadn't later on have been replaced by an even better face.

Her face of complete and utter shock as my dagger went into her head.

There are some moments that seem to last forever, this one was one of them. I ended up learning something the hard way, once again. It was easier to say or think, as I had been doing, about what should've been done. It's easy to finally take that impulse, that rush of adrenaline to finally act.

But it was those seconds in between finally acting and seeing if what you did turned out well that ruined me. Stabbing someone was a a lot harder than it looked, and pushing in a dagger into someone's skull was the nastiest thing I have ever done.

Never had I put so much force into my hand, as I forced that knife deep inside until I reached what I presumed to be the brain. Because it went from jamming really hard, to finally reaching something squishy.

She probably screamed but I didn't hear it. But I couldn't really hear her over the crushing chorus in my brain screaming oh my god, oh my god, over and over again.

I think I'm going to throw up.

Blood splattered, and I even some got on my glasses, partially clouding my vision. But it was the least of my problems as I struggled with the rising bile.

And then it was over. I felt my hand muscle cramping as I had the dagger impaled in Brianna's skull. Eventually I got my hand off of it. Not because it bothered me but because a part of me felt that I was supposed to let go. I wasn't functioning anymore though, I wasn't even thinking. I was simply there, breathing and staring.

Blood pooled around her, her mouth open in a scream. And I just stood there, with blood on my hands, on my glasses and the taste of vomit on tongue. Feeling empty and numb, like by finally doing what I should've done ages ago, I finally finished what little part of my soul hadn't been damaged yet.

Wasn't I supposed to feel good? Wasn't I supposed to feel righteous? Ready to scream in victory and keep on killing others until I exacted revenge like a heroine in a series?

"How pathetic." An arm went around my shoulders, as the man came to be next to me, looking down at the same scene I was. I thought he had meant me, because I agreed, but then I heard him speak as he looked down at Brianna. "She couldn't even handle a girl years younger than her though she grew up in the mafia. Well, at least she knew what to do with her mouth. That much can be said about her at least."

My ears burned from the ignominy of it all. I knew that light male voice.

"Alphonse, yo-" With a hand on my mouth, covering me with a cloth; my eyes grew heavy and it all faded to black .

Cinquemani Residence

Sicily

Cassandra walked the halls of her famiglia headquarters. Even now it seems foreign to her. Which sounds stupid. A girl who was as pureblood italian as she could get through countless generations, the daughter of the Cinquemani Don.

She has spent most of her time studying in the states. Barely coming to Sicily or the Italian mainland for that matter, unless it was summertime. She held her poker face as she walked through the halls. The only movement she continuously made, was making a point of slowing down upon coming across a window. Upon which she would look outside, shades of wistfulness entering the blank slate of her face.

It soothed her to be able to look outside. Giving her the temporary illusion that should she so desire, she could open up a window and leave.

As opposed to being inside this cage of a headquarters and the shackle people call "famiglia".

A face appeared in her mind's eye, a familiar face, one she knew better than her own. Always smiling eyes, the color of a good italian espresso. Her fingers twitched as she felt the soft dark hair, mimicking the feeling of moving through it, until reaching the hard part towards his alabaster face, where he used gel.

The petite brunette put a hand over her heart, and clenched a fist as she simultaneously clenched her eyes shut. Her heart cried out in pain, and with her eyes tightly shut she wasn't sure if she wanted to keep him alive even if it was only in her mind. Or if she wished for his image to disappear, to see if she could gain some sort of stability.

"Pupetta," She heard a voice call out. Her soul rose from it's depths and she opened her eyes turning around to see him. He was back!

"You must eat." Only to be met with one of the men who worked for her father, who had been assigned to look for her well being. And as quickly her soul rose, it fell, and it fell down hard.

He was dead. She knew that. She buried him. Even so, she only looked at the grunt shook her head in disagreement. "Leave me."

"But your father," He began, she halted him with an arrogant look and a tilt of her chin. "I said, leave. My father isn't here right now, I am. So that puts me in charge. And I am ordering you to leave."

Unable to disagree with the teenage daughter of the Cinquemani Boss, with a respectful tilt of his head, he bid her goodbye.

As his footsteps echoed away, in the desolate hallways, Cassandra "Pupetta" Cinquemani fell to her knees, in her black mourning dress, and wept. All the while wishing it had been her who had died instead.

Time passes, it blurs away. Months have passed and it still hasn't gotten any easier. Cassandra wanted to hit whoever said time heals all wounds.

But there was someone she wished to harm even more so.

The Vongola.

With her eyes burning from her tears, a dark and dangerous burn flushed through her. A familiar burn, that has kept her warm every night since Antonino was killed.

It was that name, coupled with her resolved that has been the only thing getting her up from her bed every night.

The Varia killed Antonino, on Vongola orders. And all would pay who had a hand in that.

Though it was true this feud had been going on for far too long. It's begun to take it's total on father as well as our resources. Not to mention our allies keep on dwindling. It's hard to go up against the Vongola, much less over a prolonged period of time.

Even with Alphonse as a boon to the cause; it's been tough. He has been integral aide from what Pupetta garnered through her father, by being in the Varia and helping them.

As her mind wander to thoughts about the dark blond haired male, she saw him from the window arriving in a car and heading towards the back. Why wasn't he going towards the front? And why was he going straight without first coming to her?

She didn't like that and quickly sent an order for him to be halted.

She was going to have a word with him. He may be a great aide, but this was still her house.

When Pupetta got around to Alphonse, she saw dried blood on his clothes and looked on in distaste at his state. But what gathered more attention for her was the girl he was dragging along in the back in a barely covered sheet.

Pupetta knew that girl was alive, and for the first time in a long time she smiled. But it was not a happy smile, it was a cold one. "Hand her over Alphonse."

Alphonse clearly did not agree with that statement. She shot him a commandeering look, even though she was much shorter and younger than him. Her guards flanking her, ready to attack if necessary. It wouldn't be though. Alphonse wouldn't, not with witnesses and in the heart of Cinquemani territory. Not this close to the end.

"You need to get back to the Varia, or else they will get suspicious if they aren't already. And you can leave with all of your insubordinate, the ones my father has left me with are more than sufficient. I don't want more people crowding around."

She didn't want his men around to later report back what she did or didn't do with the other girl. Pupetta hated people who undermined her actions.

Pupetta didn't even wait for his consensus as she instructed her guard to carry the girl out of Alphonse's reach. Alphonse could not openly disobey her without causing a scene and he was very close to getting everything he wanted, so he had to play along with this stupid girl's whims. He fought against killing her right then and there.

In the end, the greater picture, and the reminder that this would all be over soon won out. He regained his composure. Gave the proper respects that were expected of him towards her, not meaning it one bit but having learned by now to put on a show; he left her with Celeste. He had nowhere else that he could trust to keep her after the incompetence of his men. And he hadn't wanted her near in enough the Varia mansion for her to find her way back there somehow. Alphonse learned by now with much chagrin that he couldn't underestimate her surprising ability and drive to survive.

He got back in the truck and yelled at his men to come along. Peering a backwards glance at Pupetta who had already walked away, he felt his hand twitching for his knife at her actions.

All in due time he told himself, all in due time.

Soon Celeste would be killed, he would get the flame he rightfully deserves. Now to be even more enhanced now that he absorbed Federico, he was soon to be unstoppable.

Then the Varia would be toppled over and he would claim his rightful spot as Boss as everyone else who was unnecessary died. Both Cinquemani and Vongola.

Life was finally clearing up.

When I awoke once more the first thing I felt were chains ebbing into my skin. I didn't need to look to know it would leave a mark.

I tried to gauge what situation I was in before I thrust myself into an uncertain reality. I kept my eyes closed, expanding my senses to gather anything. Knowledge was power afterall.

I was sitting with my hands chained behind me to what feels like a wooden chair. The absence of noise or movement bothered me. It disturbed me lately, anything could be awaiting me when I opened my eyes and I didn't like that. The tick, tock of a nearby clock was nailing itself into my head with each thrum. I wanted nothing more than to stop that insufferable noise.

Was I alone?

Wherever this was, it was too quaint, too normal of a setting. I was indoors, I could feel carpet underneath me. Huh, interesting, all my senses and nerves were in perfect order. I could still feel. I was sure that I was going to die once I saw the black haze or that if I somehow did wake up; I would wish I hadn't.

My body wasn't worse for wear, which considering the circumstances was perhaps one of the best news I've gotten so far. During the time I was unconscious, nobody took advantage of me.

The fact that I was not only alive but relatively well, had me even more on edge. I wasn't thanking any lucky stars yet. The last thing I saw was Alphonse's face. And that man was a sick son of a bitch whose quest for me knew no bounds. I was sure I was a goner.

Since I'm alive it means that he wants something from me. Or someone at least, because after that incident with Brianna, I'm not making that mistake again of assuming that it's just him and his goons I need to worry about.

Is that what we call killing someone now? An incident?

The image of her bleeding, screaming, and getting on me was almost enough to get me to open my eyes. I fought the urge to shake my head to try to get the image out of my mind.

Focus, that's all I could do now. I could ponder morality and all the unnecessary psychological damage that ensues from killing someone later. I couldn't afford falling back into that numb state now. That shock I got from killing Brianna was what had left me vulnerable to this predicament in the first place.

I was in the worst case scenario right now. Alphonse has me now. What if he tortures me? I've never been tortured before. Sure I've been beaten, pretty badly, both emotionally and physically. But torture was a whole other ballpark. I am completely unprepared for this kind of situation. How would I fare if questions were asked that I couldn't answer or didn't know?

If I ended up dying and to boot I ruined everything for everyone back in the mansion, everything the rogue regime has worked for, my soul would never find peace.

"You can open your eyes." A monotone voice spoke. " I can tell you are awake." Damnit. I thought I was being careful. "You are doing that thing you do when you are deep in thought. You bite your lower lip slightly to the side and scrunch your eyebrows." The voice finished as I out of surprise opened my eyes to look at the speaker. As I did I let go of said traitorous lip that I hadn't been aware had even been between my teeth.

I looked at the person in-front of me and found not Alphonse but another person, another girl. Great, was this one also in love with Alphonse and did she bear some sort of deep rooted resentment against me?

I guess in Italy, women really dig the whole sick bastard with no future thing. Which was a pity really.

She was a petite brunette sitting across from me. Poised and had a bearing that spoke of a good education. There was also pride that was borderline haughty that exuded from the curve of her perfectly arched eyebrows and curve of her neck. Her legs were impeccably crossed as were her dainty pale hands.

Everything about her was precise and impeccable. Not a hair out of place. Her face was stoic as she looked at me, a perfect poker face.

It wasn't that she was intimidating per say. In fact, she has the countenance of an executive board member, nothing like the psychotic assassins I've been dealing with left and right. To be brutally honest, by body mass alone I could probably overpower her. If I could get out of these chains that is. She was skin and bones, not an ounce of fat or curves.

Even so, I didn't feel like I had the upperhand, and it hand nothing to do with my immobility in an undisclosed location.

There was simply something about the way she looked at me. It wasn't with malice or even care. A perfect poker face that gave nothing away.

But her eyes. A cold indifference shone from them so strongly, it had me flinching. I didn't know why it affected me so deeply. It was like it hurt me to see her look at me like that. I had an overwhelming urge to want to know what I did wrong and apologize. To do anything, anything at all, to make amends. For us, no, for her, to be happy.

I wanted her to be happy.

Why?

Who was this girl, and I say that deliberately, because she couldn't have been older than me, if not the same age as me. Who was she to have such a profound effect on me?

This apparently plain girl, with the straight mundane chestnut locks and eyes. My mind shifted in a nanosecond to the painting in the Cinquemani villa.

That oil painting and now this girl in-front of me, there was no mistaking it.

"You're Pupetta aren't you?"

At first it seemed like she didn't hear me. I actually thought about repeating myself. Then like water that drips and builds, slowly but surely until it crashes so did the enmity that appeared.

"So you knew about that too, huh?" She clicked her tongue and grimaced. "I should've known. Why didn't I see this coming?" Her mouth molding into an expression of deep disappointment and chagrin.

I didn't even see her stand up before I felt the blow. A quick and hard pounding. Much weaker than what I was used to. But since I wasn't in an optimal state, I felt it more than I should.

It was clear from the way she hit me that she wasn't the fighting type. And her lack of muscles or callouses denoted her privileged and sheltered life style.

And she kept saying those words, over and over again. I didn't understand where they came from, but I knew what they meant. I had said them minutes before I killed Brianna. How I should've known, how I should've seen this coming.

Before I realized it, I laughed. It was a bitter laugh but it must've sounded like I was mocking her. But I wasn't. I was laughing at myself for suddenly feeling envious of the hands that hit me, that were still hitting me. For their soft and submissively feminine nature.

To think it was possible to be envious of such petty things on the verge of death.

My laugh made her angry, and it made her movements much less controlled. To the point that a hit that was aimed at my face, I dodged. Causing her diamond bracelet to get stuck in my hair.

I felt a rise of irritation at the familiar tug at my head.

"CC, for the love of god!" My sudden outburst halted her movements, but I was nowhere near done as that damn bracelet hurt my head. "Is it too much to ask that you get that thing fixed?! Get Antonino on it, the boy worships the very ground you walk on! Why have a boyfriend who is like a love sick puppy if you can't get a decent use out of him? If he has the money to gift you such a thing, surely you can afford to get it worked upon. That damn gap gets stuck in my thick hair every single time. And I'm not getting the scissors out this time, mom almost killed me last time."

She just stayed there frozen, as she looked at me. Her dumb-founded face only served to raise my irritation. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I snapped at her, feeling my eyes narrow. Then my eyes finally realized her attire. "Also, why are you wearing black? You never wear black. I'm always the one wearing black, school uniform included."

"Celeste?" A whisper, a question, and a sob all in one.

"Yes, Cinquemani?" I asked, pronouncing her last name as I always did. A special emphasis on each unique syllable, dragging it out in a sing song fashion.

Seriously, what was up with that hesitation? Was it possible that she did not recognize her best friend?

Surely I didn't look that different since last we saw-the silence between us harshly halted my train of thought like a screech of brakes.

I suddenly realized the conversation that just occurred, the very words that burst forth from me.

We looked at each other with such loss and confusion, perfect mirrors of one another.

My eyes widened so much that they burned from the strain. I was opening and closing my mouth so much, I must've looked like a fish. As i tried to put into words what i was unable to even comprehend. I had tried so hard, grasped at air for so long, pleading for my memories. Feeling anxious about recovering them.

"I have spent so long, trying to get my memories back." I choked out, my lips chapped, my voice hoarse. "Cassandra, Cinquemani, CC." As I felt my world unsteady, I used her name, and her eventual nickname as my nickname I gave her. It's all I could do as, I remembered her.

From the look on her face, it was clear that she didn't know I had lost my memories. How could she have known? I saw uncertainty appear, as her mask and walls began to crumble.

And here they were, memories appearing effortlessly at the beckoning of irritation at my scalp. I looked at her in a new light, I saw everything so differently now. I didn't know where to turn first, where to look first at these sudden memories and images that were simply cascading onto me.

They were specific things, things about the both of us. Yes, there was an us.

"How in the world did I manage to forget you?" I cried out in wonder, tears burning in my eyes from the sheer emotions as I looked at the familiar face of the girl I've been friends with since 7th grade.

Since the moment of my outburst, I had shattered that perfect composure that CC zealously striven to maintain, as a part of me ached that she had to use such an expression, such a defensive act on me.

That struck a chord in me. Breaking through my reminiscent, school day haze. She was acting defensively and offensively. Why was the person who was my best friend doing this to me?

"I didn't know you lost your memory." She said softly but as with people you've known for ages, you pick up the nuances others wouldn't be able to. It is my many years of going through middle and part of high school with her by my side that I noticed that edge hidden in that soft tone. I knew that edge from a mile away, it was an edge seeped in distrust.

I probably should've seen it before, but the most likely reason was that I didn't want to believe it. CC didn't trust me. And I felt that deep within my soul, disbelief coupled with a sense of betrayal. My nostalgia gave way as I felt that wound throb, and my present situation took precedent in the fore-front of my mind. I gaped at her with the betrayal and hurt that I was trying to come to terms with as I struggled into the chains that bound me. Those chains didn't help the situation nor did the physical reminder of the blows she was dealing me earlier.

I didn't say anything. I just kept on staring at her.

"You have no right to look at me like that." CC seethed at me. She knew what I was thinking, what I was feeling. "I'm the one who has been betrayed, not you."

I blinked once, then I blinked again. And still I saw the hard set of her jaw, and I knew I had not just imagined the words that had just come out of her mouth.

"I can't believe you are serious. You're the one who has been betrayed?" I was flabbergasted. "I'm the injured and chained up one!"

CC bristled as she crossed her arms. I had a point, there was no way I didn't.

Even so, she had the audacity to respond back in a self righteous nature. "It's because you are dangerous and cannot be trusted."

She said it. She actually said it. I could've defaulted back to hurt and pain, or jumped to the growing sense of anger inside me. Anger was winning. "I'm dangerous? I'm not even in my own goddamn country! This is your country, not mine. I'm the one here against my will!"

"That doesn't change the facts-" Was she dismissing what I just said? What a classic CC rhetorical tactic. Minigate the point made by the other team. Well, I wasn't letting it go.

"Facts? You want to talk facts? I'm in a country an ocean away from mine. I haven't been home in months, my mother probably thinks I'm dead. I've been beaten more times than I can count, I've lost my memory and the looming sense of my impending demise has been my constant companion."

What the hell did she know about what I was going through? Who was she to say that I'm the dangerous one? The one who is not to be trusted?

"Do you have any idea what that is like? Going through all that and all the while not even remembering your own name? Even now all I know is that my first name is Celeste and that you are my best friend." I scoffed at the last thing I said. "Minus the last part, that one is clearly up for debate right now."

CC was at a loss for words at what to say with this new development. I could see her waging the internal war. She didn't have an adequate amount of time or perhaps even energy to try to mask that she was having doubts.

Then as if the elephant in the room just became a hot pink color, I realized that I hadn't even mentioned another crucial detail I had been overlooking. "Also, don't think for one second that I'm letting go anytime soon of the fact you never once mentioned in all our years together that you were mafia. Or that you were a mob princess. And you want to talk trust and danger. Ha!"

"Antonino." She cut through my diatribe, with that one solemn word. As if she had heard the word of the heavens, and that one word was the end all, be all. CC also looked at me like she expected to me to have some sort of reaction to his name.

What she wanted, I didn't know.

I knew who Antonino was. There was no way I could remember her, and not remember Antonino. In school, they were always together, I'm pretty sure they've been together since they were in diapers. Though they only began dating a year after I became friends with them.

"What about him?" Great, was he involved in this too? Are all the people in my friend group also consorting with Alphonse and plotting against me?

And apparently he's mafia too.

Just where have I been going to school?!

"Don't act like you don't know."

I didn't. And I wasn't faking it either. That was the last straw for her.

"How the hell can you pretend not to know?" She grabbed me by the shoulders and began shaking me violently. Tried to at least, like I said, CC was never known for her strength.

"Antonino is dead!" She cried out. Losing whatever momentum she had, fighting the urge to cry.

She fought it by lashing out and holding onto to the anger she had towards me. "You were the last one with Antonino before he was killed," CC pointed an accusing finger towards me, and I knew I wouldn't like what she was going to say next. "You're the reason he's dead! Alphonse saw-"

I stopped listening right then and there. I didn't even dwell on the fact that another one of my friends is now dead. She said that man's name and I just snapped.

"You're kidding me right?" That's the last name I was planning on hearing.

I could not believe my ears. This just keeps getting better and better. "Alphonse?" My voice rose in crescendo. "You mean to tell me that whatever image you have of me is because of that guy? The very same guy who has been trying to kill me, who made me lose my memories in the first place and kidnapped me, that's the guy you trust over me!? What the hell is wrong with you!" I screamed. If it weren't for these chains, I probably would've scratched her face off.

"How in the world did you manage to believe such a guy, no beyond that, how could you have ever allowed your opinion of me to get devalued so easily? To shatter so easily that you would place in higher regard what some lunatic said, someone you barely know, over me?"

"WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE?" CC howled out getting on her knees, tears of rage and sadness intermingling. This was all too much for her to handle.

"Antonino's dead, the Varia killed him, you're alive and have been living with the Varia, you were also the last person seen with him. Do you have any idea how that looks like?" She sobbed. A twinge sympathy appeared against all odds in my heart, but that did not justify how easily she turned against me. The one who had more than enough reason to be going on her knees and bawling her eyes out, was me. And I wasn't breaking anytime soon, this was neither the time nor the place.

"In that case, what are you waiting for? Kill me."

CC stared at her oldest friend, clearly taken aback by what I said. "What?"

"If you truly think me capable of doing such an atrocious thing, Cassandra, if you think that I could plot and carry out Antonino's death then pull out your weapon. If you believe with every fiber of your being that I am such a horrible person and I lied when I said I loved you and him, then go on ahead and end it."

The girl who who once said she was closest friend began to break at the seams. But she needed that, Alphonse and god knew who else has been clouding her mind. Its time someone helped her snap out of it and made her start thinking for herself.

"But if there is even a shadow of a doubt in your mind, then realize that its not your mind trying to fool you, its your mind trying to help you. Wake up CC, thats your intuition talking, listen to it."

They stared at each other then. She had said her case, now it was time to see if their friendship could withstand the test of adversity. If CC faith in her could move mountains or be crushed by them.

Her grief has clouded everything. Put her in this pathetic state, and I have no doubt Alphonse has taken advantage of it. What a disgusting excuse for a human being, manipulating someone in their worst moment. It just keeps on piling up, all the harm that man has done.

That man has to be eliminated, for the sake of peace for everyone. And as much as it pains me to think, even while not knowing the full story. I wouldn't think it beyond Alphonse to have been the master puppeteer behind this whole state of affairs. He was probably the one who killed Antonino and framed the Varia and then manipulated both sides to enter this Vongola-Cinquemani feud.

In fact, I'm pretty sure that's what has happened.

The capacity and depth of that man's evil nature and his abilities seems to know no bounds.

It's like the more I learn, the more confused I get. I'm still not sure what this all has to do with me. Where I fit into this whole macabre equation.

Then the sounds of gunshots, thuds and screams filled the area around us. "What is that sound?" CC asked in panic, getting her communicator device near her.

"That would be the sound of people dying." I said dryly. It was rather sad how desensitized to the sound of people dying I had become.

There was static on the other line of her reciever. Until a voice in gruff italian told her to run, then a groan followed. There was silence for a couple of seconds before a smooth and husky voice echoed on CC's receiver.

"Now, now Cinquemani principessa. Surely you won't run. It's already been rather rude to attack a guest entering the house, and now you would try to leave? And here I thought you had gotten better equitique classes than that."

"Oh no it's you!" CC glared venomously as she heard the voice on the other line, I hadn't even known she could give such a hateful look.

The man on the other line remained nonplussed.

"I'll see you in a little bit. I don't know where your father is, but I suppose you will have to do for now."

Then the line went dead.

"He's one of them, probably here to finish us off. I knew Alphonse hadn't been pleased when I forced him to hand you over to me, but even if he did send someone here for you, I never thought it would be him. I'm not surprised that they have been working on this together." CC clenched her jaw. "My father was right when he said we couldn't trust that man."

I really wanted to also echo her father's sentiment by saying I told you so. But I shut up, I needed her to untie me. First I had to make sure I didn't fall into whoever else was working with Alphonse's reaches.

I hated being kept out of the loop. Especially in a moment that could determine life or death. "But who is this he, you speak of?"

"He is Alphonse's father."

Oh crap. That's no good. I had a tough enough job dealing with Alphonse. Lord only knows how much worse his father is. The apple tends to not fall far from the tree.

"CC, I know we clearly have a lot to discuss, and work on. But right now it's clear that whoever is coming this way is no good for either of us. Untie me. Let me help. I know you don't fully trust me right now, but at least trust that I want us both to live."

I saw she wasn't a big fan and didn't have whole-hearted trust in me, but she was willing to try and that was good enough for now. She quickly undid my chains with a key and they fell to the ground with a clang. I winced as I felt how sore my arms were.

It got eerily quiet in the hallway. I could hear footsteps and I was filled with a quiet resolve.

"CC, do you have any guns here?"

CC nodded. "Yes, daddy always keeps a gun loaded in that drawer there."

She handed me Don Cinquemani's gun and I cocked it, pointing it at the door. "I'll be damned if I go down without putting up some sort of a fight. You won't get me here like a sitting duck."

All I can hope for is a lucky shot, maybe hit his balls or something equally painful. I probably won't get a head shot, I'm too much of a novice with guns. I'm going solely on instinct, TV and video games right now. Not that the other guy, or CC for that matter, needed to know that.

My plan right now was to do the above distract him, leave with a broken arm in a best case scenario and then make a bolt for it. I would like to kill him, but judging from the way he already took down so many Cinquemani agents; I'm not aiming high right now.

When it opened, and the man stepped in he froze in his tracks as he saw me.

"Don't you dare move, or I will shoot, you hear me!"

"I'm not here to harm you." He answered, a certain accent that wasn't quite italian in the undertone of his words.

"Yeah right" I glared at him. "How stupid do you think I am?! You are that man's father, of course you say that so we let our guard down and you finish us once and for all!" She spat at him. It was getting tiring having all these males underestimate her. "After all, your entrance wasn't exactly friendly."

"That was actually more for your sake." He said easily, in direct contrast to the hard edge and bite in my words. "Put the gun down. Trust me."

"Trust?" I laughed incredulously. "You want me to trust you?" Even as I angrily said this,

A part of me wavered. Why? It's like I wanted to trust him. No, it was more than that. I lulled by his voice. Like a child would to his favorite lullaby, taking comfort in it. Why was that? Did I know him, why did he seem so familiar?

"What is your name?" But the way he asked the question was not like he didn't know the answer. But rather that he wasn't saying it for his benefit, but someone elses.

Was it for me?

I paused a moment, gun unwavering. My eyes flickered slightly to see CC out of my peripheral vision then back to the man in front. "Celeste." Deciding that nothing could be used against me, I answered hesitantly.

"What is your full name?" He asked, in an almost condescending and yet somehow placating manner.

"I don't know," I spat out. "If it hadn't been for that son of yours, this wouldn't be an issue! Hell, I wouldn't be here in the first place."

CC saw the flicker then of some unknown emotion cross the countenance of the man in front of her. Unknown not because she had never seen a varying amount of emotions in her life to be able to discern between them. But unknown, because for all the years that CC had seen him around their world, around her father and other important mafia individuals; she had never seen such clashing emotions on him.

No, it simply wasn't possible to see anything affect the usually impassive or aloof older male.

Because if she didn't know any better, CC would've said she saw something akin to pain or even guilt at the threshold of his emotions.

"Try." He stated simply as he moved closer to Celeste, she cocked the gun at the face of his actions. "You can shoot me afterwards."

CC was behind Celeste, peering over the other girl's shoulder cautiously. Why was he doing this? As much as it frightened her to think about, CC knew this man was not one to be held at gunpoint.

Even her own father, a mafia Don, Don Cinquemani; feared this man who was trying to placate the inexperienced much less threatening girl pointing a gun at him. He could end their lives in a matter of seconds.

Was he toying with them for some kind of information?

Meanwhile, Celeste was in an internal struggle of her own. Ultimately deciding that there was no way this could possibly harm her she decided to actually try. Never keeping the gun unwavered, she tapped deep into her mind, envisioning herself opening every door, every window to let memories flooding back.

She wasn't quite sure it would work, but she attempted the same thing Federico had guided her with a while back, when she was first calling her mother.

Her head began to throb, and she silently pleaded to the inner presence of Federico and the flame she had often seen in her subconscious to lend her a helping hand.

Ask and you shall receive

And like that, the flood gate opened and Celeste almost fell to her knees.

"Celeste" she began, as if summoning the rest to follow. They were there on the tip of her tongue. "Celeste Gloria-" She stopped abruptly, something within her stopping against this rushing sense of emotion.

His eyes said go on, giving silent encouragement.

"Celeste Gloria Valencia Guerrero"

Her grip on the gun wavered, no no no no.

She looked up at him finally remembering the long lost voice.

And then she laughed, and CC could only look on in confusion at the crazed and sudden laughter. Why was she laughing?! But then, the more CC heard it, the more she realized it wasn't a sound of joy or even relief. It was a choked and crazed scratch against vocal chords. Then as quickly as she started laughing, she stopped. Her mouth silently worded that which she could not say, looking at him in abject shock and horror.

The salt and pepper haired male had understood what she could not say. Gave voice to the very cross she bared.

David nodded gravely. "That's right florecita, I am your father."

To Be Continued

Im sorry I couldn't resist this ending, slightly cliche, but it was too beautiful to resist. And out of curiosity, how many of you saw this coming?

Now I don't know about you guys, but I think this is gearing up to be a killer of a family reunion.

I broke a record with this chapter, it is my longest chapter to date. Originally this was supposed to be two different chapters. But I figured it might be best to keep it all to one. Hence also why this took longer. I promise I wasn't just lazying around not doing anything, abandoning this story. This was my hardest chapter, because it's one of those pesky important bulk chapters.

Oh and for those of you wondering where those flashbacks came in, they are from chapter 28. I would also like to take this moment to mention, that I tend to build off a lot of stuff I say in previous chapters so please be sure to keep that in mind as you are reading forward; in the event you get confused or may already be confused.

I'll have the list of awesome back up for the next chapter. I haven't been able to do a proper update recently and list through. So for those who have reviewed, I have not forgotten you! I try to respond back via PM but just know you will be officially inducted later.

Also, I would also like to mention what a wonderful coincidence that one of the soon to be appearing revelation chapters is concurrent with 360 reviews. Just like a circle coming round. :D

..Clearly I've been hanging out too much in the math department. Nerds unite!

Your thoughts and reviews are always lovely! Thanks so much for your continued support!~

TMM