Chapter 37
One month later...
Sherman was careful in his examination of Tim's program. He said nothing and Tim stood behind him, worrying at a fingernail while he waited. What if there was a bug that he'd missed? What if it was a fluke that everything had worked the ten times he'd run it before telling Sherman he was ready for a review of its capabilities? What if the test run was dead on arrival? Never mind the fact that if it had been DOA, Sherman would already be done. He was nervous.
It went on and on, seeming to take forever. Finally, Sherman sat back from the computer and started making notes.
Except for the hum of the machinery and computers in the room, it was silent. Tim really wanted to break that silence and beg Sherman to tell him what he thought, but he was trying to be patient. This was what a doctorate built up to. One single project that would let you get your degree...or not. One project that had to meet the approval of three people, plus the outsiders who also had to approve it. It was stressful to say the least, and Tim was, again, glad that he had listened to Gibbs and finished this first.
"Okay, Tim. I won't leave you in suspense. Have a seat."
Tim sat down.
"Okay. What?"
Sherman chuckled.
"Relax."
"Just tell me, Sherman," Tim said. "Then, I'll know how to react. Telling me to relax right now isn't going to happen."
"All right. There are some bugs in it, as you would expect at this stage, but, Tim, I have to say that I'm very impressed with your work. It took a little longer than you wanted it to, I know, and you'll need to fix the bugs before you submit, but I don't see any reason to hold you back a lot longer, definitely not another year. Maybe a month or two at most."
Tim's eyes widened. "Really?"
"Really. I'll want to go through the coding a little more in-depth than I did here. It might take a few days, and I'll show it to Roger and Jaye as well. I'll give you a list of things you'll need to fix before you submit it officially. We'll have to set things up so that you can defend without breaking confidentiality, of course. Your external already knows about that restriction and it won't be an issue since he does work for the NSA. For now, I have something I'd like you to do."
"What?" Tim asked, still reeling a little from the idea that his project was actually good.
"Take a break."
"Huh?"
Sherman laughed.
"I said that you should take a break. It will be at least a week before I'm ready to give you the list. All you have to do is wait. So take a break. Go on a little vacation. Have some down time. I know you're still having therapy and I know that you have some things you struggle with in keeping your focus on the task. This means that you can give your brain a break. Relax, take a breath, whatever."
"A week?"
"At least. But you can be secure in the knowledge that you're at the end of the road and you're going to make it."
Tim smiled. "I...almost can't believe that I'm hearing it. It's...like...a dream."
"It's not a dream. It's real, and that should let you relax."
"Okay. I think I can."
"Good. Go do it. Now. Get out of here."
"Will do."
Tim left the basement and let out a relieved breath. He felt like he hadn't taken a deep breath since he'd told Sherman he was ready for the program to be evaluated. He walked out of the department. He could have gone up and told his friends about the good news, but he wanted to wait to tell them. Right now, there were other people he wanted to tell.
The ones who had been in his corner for a long time in their own unique ways.
He pulled out his phone.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
"Okay, so what's up, Boss?" Tony asked.
Gibbs didn't say anything in reply. He figured that Tim was going to tell them that he was done, but that should be something he got to say. Gibbs wasn't going to steal his thunder.
"I'm all excited now, Gibbs!" Abby said. "What's up?"
Gibbs just smiled.
"Gibbs!" Abby protested. "You can't lapse back into being mute again! Not now!"
Ziva was sitting, almost primly. Gibbs had said to wait and she was going to demonstrate how waiting was done, providing a stark contrast to Abby and Tony who were interested and curious and not afraid to say so.
Ducky and Jimmy were simply waiting, secure in knowing that they'd eventually be told.
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Tim got off and hurried over, just shy of running. It was the first time he'd been back at NCIS since the night of the attack, but his excitement wasn't because of that.
"Hey! McGee! You're back!" Tony said, happily.
Tim shook his head.
"No. Not yet, Tony, but...you'll never guess."
"You're done!" Abby guessed.
"Well...almost."
"What does that mean?" Ziva asked, furrowing her brow.
"Sherman is going over the program and he'll give me a list of bugs to fix next week, but he says that as soon as I do that I'll be ready to defend!"
"So...you're not done," Tony said.
"But I'm so close now!"
"But you're not done!"
Tim sighed in exasperation.
"Tony, these are small things I have left to do. The program works! It just has a few bugs in it! Most of the work is done. All that's left, really, is jumping through hoops! It'll only be a month or so." Tim almost scowled. "I thought you'd all be happy for me."
"We are, Timothy," Ducky said. "I think that I can speak for most of the people in this room in stating that we did not realize how many steps were involved in getting your degree. Since you say that this step is a cause for celebration, then I will offer my congratulations."
Tim seemed a little deflated by the lack of enthusiasm in the room, but he still mustered a smile and allowed Ducky to shake his hand. Abby hugged him and there were more congratulations, but it was clear that Tim thought he'd had great news and that he hadn't had the reaction he'd expected.
"So what now?" Tony asked.
"Now, I wait. Sherman told me to take it easy for the next week while he goes through everything."
"Now, that is something to celebrate!"
Tim laughed, regaining some of his good humor.
"What are you going to do?" Jimmy asked.
"I thought I'd go home for a few days. I haven't spent much time with my family since I started working on the program again. Maybe I'll sleep in. Haven't done that in a while."
"Party, Probie! You need to party!"
"No," Tim said. "I'm not interested in partying right now. Like you said, I'm not really done yet. I was just excited because this is the biggest step that I had to take. The rest of it will be so much easier than what I've been doing so far. Anyway...I guess I'll head home now. See you guys later."
Tim left fairly quickly.
"Oops," Tony said. "I think McGee was a bit miffed at us."
"He probably should be," Ziva said. "We should have known more about what would be required. I thought he was just done and that was it."
"Me, too," Tony said. "How many steps are there?"
"From what he said, at least two," Abby said. "He has to fix whatever bugs Sherman tells him about, and he has to do the defense. Oh, wait, three, because he'll have to fix whatever the defense committee finds, too."
"So...he'll be done about four or five times before he's actually done."
Ducky chuckled. "That seems to be the case. If you're still planning on surprising him with a celebration, you should probably wait until the very end...or perhaps after he finishes his defense. That might be the best option."
"I think you're right," Abby said. "We should also make sure we're happier for him next time."
"Ya think?" Gibbs said, raising an eyebrow.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Tim went home and let himself into his apartment. Jethro started leaping all over him as soon as he opened the door.
"Hey, Jethro," he said. "Guess what? I'm almost done. Are you happy for me?"
Jethro was thrilled. ...or at least, he was thrilled at having Tim home sooner than usual. Tim chose to think it was because he was happy at Tim's success.
"Okay. We'll celebrate by going to the park. I'll even let you chase the pigeons to your heart's content."
Jethro jumped around even more enthusiastically. He understood park even if he didn't understand anything else. Tim smiled at his antics and changed his clothes quickly. It was so nice to have the energy to take Jethro out for a run rather than being worn out by sitting in front of a computer all day. He still was getting back to full form, but his physical therapist had told him that going to the park with Jethro was a good way to get some exercise that wouldn't be too much.
He took Jethro to the park and watched him chase the pigeons for almost an hour before finally calling him back. When he got back, he called home and arranged to visit. He wasn't allowed to drive still, but his mother decided to drive to DC and pick him up. The next day, he went to Ohio, after dropping Jethro at a kennel. He spent a few days there, basically lazing around. It was nice to have his mom doting on him and to talk with his dad about literature. He enjoyed his time there, but when it was time to head back to DC, he ran into a problem. Naomi had two men who couldn't drive, and Sam suddenly needed to make a trek in the opposite direction Tim needed to go. So, Tim had to decide who he was going to call for a ride. Sure, he could probably take a bus, but he didn't want to if he didn't have to. Greyhound wasn't exactly fun.
He didn't think he could take Abby's exuberance for hours on end. He didn't want to ride in Ducky's old car. Ziva's driving would terrify him...as would Gibbs'. He didn't want to take Jimmy away from Breena...but if she came along, it would be weird. That left Tony. He could ask one of his grad school friends, but they were all in the middle of a semester. All in all, Tony was the best bet, even if Tony had the extraordinary power to drive Tim absolutely bonkers one second and shock him with sincerity in another.
So he swallowed his pride and called Tony.
"Probie! How's Ohio?"
Tim grimaced. Tony sounded too eager.
"Fine. I have a favor to ask."
"Oh...really?"
Way too eager.
"You know that I can't drive yet."
"Yeah."
"My mom has to drive my dad to New York and I need to get down to DC. It's a long drive, but could you give me a ride?"
"A ride? You're asking me for a ride?"
"Against my better judgment," Tim said darkly.
"Hey, you want a ride or not, McInvalid?
"I'm not an invalid. I just can't drive until I'm cleared by my doctor."
"Because?"
"Will you give me a ride or not, Tony?" Tim asked.
"You know I will, Probie."
"It's a long drive for you, and you know that I won't be allowed to spell you at all."
"I know. Are you trying to talk me out of it, now?"
Tim laughed.
"No. Just making sure that you know what you're getting into."
"I know. Do you?"
"I'm getting an idea."
"Since we're now on the same page, when do you want me there?"
"Well, I need to be back in DC for a meeting with Sherman on Monday. Otherwise, it's really up to you. You're driving; so I'll go along with whatever timetable you want."
"Even if I chose the middle of the night?"
"If you want, then, you'll have to deal with my snoring."
"If you put it that way... I'll be there Sunday afternoon."
"Thanks, Tony."
"I'll make sure you express your gratitude appropriately."
"That sounds like a threat. Should I take the Greyhound instead?"
"Nope. Too late. I'm giving you a ride. You'll just have to grin and bear it."
Tim hoped that he could.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Tony showed up around two on Sunday afternoon. Tim's parents had already left and Tim had just been waiting alone for Tony to come. They loaded up and left. The first couple of hours were generally silent. They talked a little bit, but neither had much to say. Mostly, they listened to the radio.
"Hey, McGee, I'm sorry that we weren't more...excited about your little announcement."
Tim shook his head. "It's okay. I was a little irritated, but I probably should have waited until I was actually done to tell you guys about it."
"Why were you so excited?" Tony asked. "I mean, we figured that you have at least five times that you're done before you're done."
"Because...after so much work and no definite end planned out...to have a defined timetable...it feels so good. And...I've really been wondering if I could do it. I've been wondering if it would be too much for me, especially because I couldn't do everything at once again."
"You don't need to do everything at once. You probably shouldn't have been before, you know."
"Whether I should have been before or not, I can't do it now. I just hope that...in the future, I'll be able to do more than I can now. I'm actually a little worried about that."
"Because you can't do everything?" Tony asked, sounding surprised. "Welcome to the rest of the world, McGee. Most people can't handle doing everything at once. Some of us do well to get one thing at a time done."
"Maybe."
"No, McGee. Not maybe. You apparently wrote a program almost from nothing and in a couple of years you got it done! That's pretty amazing whether you were running around like a headless chicken or not."
"I guess. I still struggle, Tony," Tim finally admitted. "I have days where I just can't get my mind in gear. It's kind of scary."
"What do your doctors say?"
"That it'll take time. Even when I come back to NCIS, I'll be on desk duty for a while. Physically, I'm probably as good as I'm going to get, but mentally...no one knows for sure, and being distracted...that's not really a good thing in an agent."
"Oh, I manage it all the time, Probie."
Tim shook his head.
"No, Tony. It's not that simple."
"Okay, I'll be serious. You'll be fine, McGee!" Tony said. "It hasn't even been a year since you had a close encounter with both a paperweight and a desk! You're still trying to get back to full form? That doesn't surprise me, and I don't think that you should focus so much on whether or not you're...better. Just...live your life and if you don't stress you'll be happier."
Tim laughed. "Even when you're serious..."
"I know. I'm not serious, but I'm sincere. That counts for something, right?"
"Yeah. It does. I wasn't going to say anything about it, but you asked...and...out it came."
"Hey, if it's bugging you, I'm glad you did. You're almost there, McGee, and we'll be thrilled to have you back at NCIS, even at your desk."
"I'll be glad to be back there, too."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Did you think I was suddenly going to become an academic?" Tim asked.
"We were wondering. You've enjoyed so much of it."
"That's because there's always more to learn, Tony. I love to learn, and it's been great getting so many new skills...but that's so that I can do my job at NCIS better. It's not so that I can become a professor. I'm just not interested in that, not with the life I have. The life I have is the one I chose and I don't want to give that up. So...whether you like it or not, I'm coming back."
"Right on, McGee," Tony said.
He held out his fist. Tim hesitated and then did the fist bump. Tony did the explosion motion and Tim copied him...somehow not feeling like an idiot.
As if that conversation had removed some kind of awkward wall, Tim and Tony talked easily, if not volatilely at times, all the way back to DC. Tony dropped Tim off at his apartment and made him promise to tell them when his defense was so that they could make him regret it. Tim wasn't sure what that meant, but he tried to forestall it by saying he didn't need a party. Tony's grin was not comforting.
...but Tim still felt a lot better when he went into his apartment.