"You know…" said Lee, crossing his arms. "Sasuke didn't land a hand on Lil Lee so you can't get off saying that Sasuke is better than Lil Lee."
"Yes I can." Said Sasuke. "Because he IS."
Just when everyone was going to let their anger fly out of control…
"I THOUGHT I sensed a ninja battle over here!!" came a voice.
Everyone turned around to see some familiar faces that they hadn't seen for a long time!
"Don't lie, Gai, it was ME who sensed it." said Asuma.
"You're both wrong." Said Kakashi. "I sensed it."
"Shut up all three of you." Said Kurenai. "We were all just walking along and saw the battle."
Everyone didn't really know how to react. They didn't know whether to frolic up to their old teachers and give them a warm embrace or to ask them to have a spar to see if they could beat them.
"Hey Kakashi!!" said Naruto. "How about a SPAR?!"
"No." said Kakashi. "I'm not a ninja anymore." It was then that Naruto noticed that Kakashi was no longer wearing his forehead protector and in place of it was a patch. He still had practically his entire face covered, we just got to see a little more of his forehead this way.
Then Naruto flipped out. "I can't believe it!!" he yelled. "Why has EVERYONE quit being a ninja?!"
"I haven't!!" said Gai passionately. He looked the oldest and most out of shape out of all of them. His eyebrows were so enormous that they were sticking out of his face and he had on enormous glasses.
"For some strange reason…I doubt that." Said Neji.
"All right…I admit…I DID quit…" said Gai. "But I still have the glow of youth around me!"
Everyone coughed and turned away.
"It's too bad we lost touch with all of you!" said Asuma, staring right at Shikamaru. Instead of his cigarette, he now had a pipe that he was puffing little clouds out.
"Look!" said Kurenai. She had her gray hair up in a beehive hairstyle with tiny little glasses so she looked like a pleasant grandmother. "You all have children! Well, Kiba and Hinata, I knew you both had at least ONE child! Did it end up being a boy or a girl?"
"A girl." Said Kiba and Hinata at the same time.
"Is she a ninja?!" Kurenai asked.
"…Yes." Said Kiba and Hinata at the same time again.
"Oh and she's so adorable!" said Kurenai as she went over to Kajitsu.
"That's OUR daughter!" said Naruto, pointing to himself and Sakura.
"YOU TWO got married?!" gasped Kakashi as his old, frail heart almost stopped beating.
"YES!" said Naruto, latching arms with Sakura who only smiled slightly.
"Wait…" said Kurenai, looking around for another girl but only spotting Hana. "I know that's definitely not your kid. She looks exactly like Sasuke."
"No, she's my kid." Said Shino.
Everyone spun around and stared at Shino.
"What…" said Shino. "It was just a joke."
"That's even weirder…" said Kiba.
"Well, Shino, I see you haven't lost your sense of humor!" said Kurenai.
"Are you thinking of some OTHER Shino?" asked Shino.
"…Um…" said Kurenai slowly.
"This IS your kid, right Sasuke?" said Kakashi.
"Yes." Said Sasuke.
"So what's the grand total?" Asuma asked Ino.
"Including Sasuke and I, there are now eight Uchihas." Ino replied.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!" yelled Gai as he spotted Lil Gai. "I LOVE THIS CHILD!!"
"He's MY son!!" said Lee.
"REALLY?!" said Gai.
"YES!!!" yelled Lee.
"He is by far my favorite child here!" said Gai. "He's just bursting with youthful glow!!"
"YEAH!!" cheered Lil Gai.
"What's his name?!" Gai asked.
"LIL GAI!!!" screamed Lee.
Gai wasn't even able to respond. He just fainted.
"So…I can only assume that your daughter's name is…Lil Kurenai?" said Kurenai to Kiba and Hinata.
"Um…yes?" said Kiba.
"What are the names of your children?" said Kakashi to Sasuke. "There are six of them. One of them HAS to be named Kakashi."
"Uh…no." said Sasuke.
"Don't worry, Shikamaru, I don't expect any of YOUR children to be named Asuma." Said Asuma, putting his arm around Shikamaru. "You DO have children, don't you?"
"I have one." Said Shikamaru, pointing to his son that looked like Vash the Stampede.
"Wow!" said Asuma. "He looks just like you! Are you raising another Hokage?!"
"…No." said Shikamaru.
"Oh." Said Asuma. "Okay…"
"What are the twins' names?" said Kakashi, still stuck on the fact that he wanted a kid to be named after him.
"Um…Kakashi and…Asuma?" Ino tried.
"That's good to hear." Said Kakashi.
"Those aren't our names!" said Shika and Cho.
"Yes they are!" said Ino as she gave Shika and Cho a LOOK.
"Wow!" said Gai who had regained consciousness when no one was looking. "There are so many children around here. How many…six? Wow!"
"Actually…considering the fact that there are only three Uchiha children are present, we can probably assume that there are more." Said Kakashi. "How old is Sasuke the second anyway? It seems like just yesterday that I read about him being born in the newspaper."
"Fifteen." Said Sasuke.
"FIFTEEN?!" yelled all the teachers as they clutched their hearts. They could also remember reading about that in the paper and it suddenly made them feel very old.
"Tasho…I mean…Lil Kurenai is almost sixteen!" announced Kiba.
"And guess what, Gai?!" said Lee. "Tenten and I have another kid too!"
"TENTEN IS YOUR WIFE?!" screamed Gai as he fainted again. Then he woke back up since he was just pretending to faint for attention anyway. "How old is your other son?"
"Fifteen!" said Lee. "His name is Lil Lee and he's a chuunin!!"
"WOW!!" said Gai.
Just then, Senjou, Inoshi and Hichou came out of nowhere!! YAY!! Well, they didn't come out of nowhere, they just sort of… came out of the house! After they had changed their clothes!
"This…" said Sasuke to Kakashi, gesturing for Senjou to come over. "This is Senjou. He's the token genius of the generation. He was using the Sharingan before our oldest learned how. He's a great fighter and rivals my skill when I was his age. He's also very smart, aren't you Senjou?"
Senjou had been mesmerized by the patch. "Are you a pirate?" he asked Kakashi.
Sasuke slapped his forehead.
"Yes." Said Kakashi. "I am a pirate."
"Really?" said Senjou, getting a certain twinkle in his eye.
Kakashi nodded in a very matter-of-fact fashion.
"I know he's not really a pirate!" said Inoshi.
"And who's this?" asked Asuma.
"Um…Inoshi." Said Ino.
It kind of went silent after that.
"And?" led Asuma.
"He's…yeah." Said Sasuke.
"Do pirates really say 'arrr'?" Senjou asked Kakashi.
"They do sometimes." Said Kakashi. "If you're good."
"You don't have to tell Senjou to be good!" said Ino, glad to change the subject. "He's ALWAYS good! Except when he doesn't eat his vegetables!"
"Hey, you're supposed to be talking about me!" said Inoshi.
"Where's Sasuke anyway?" Sasuke asked, referring to Sasuke Jr.
"He's inside." Inoshi answered. "Waiting for Tashoku who's waiting for Kobiru who's waiting for Lee."
"Kobiru…" said Kiba as a shadow covered half his face. "I hate her."
"We all know that, dear." Said Hinata, putting her hand on his shoulder.
"What's this?" said Gai, pointing directly at Hichou. "Did I fail to notice that there is another small child running around?!"
Hichou looked curiously at Gai for a minute and then back at Neji. "Dad, who's that ugly guy who looks exactly like Lee and his hideous offspring?" Hichou asked.
Neji looked at Hichou and then at Gai who was looking questioningly at both of them.
"Kids." Said Neji finally.
"RIGHT!" said Gai, giving the thumbs up. He wasn't really all that interested in Hichou anyway. He just wanted to play with Lil Gai and also meet Lil Lee.
"I'm learning how to do the Heavenly Spin!" said Hichou.
"I bet." Said Gai.
"I go like this!" said Hichou as he started spinning around in circles.
Neji put his hand on Hichou's head and stopped him.
"I see." Said Gai, slowly backing away from Hichou and Neji.
"Lee, I didn't mean to pull out so much of your hair!" came Kobiru's voice from the house area. "I just wanted a little piece so my shrine to you at my house could be more authentic!"
The four oldest kids suddenly stopped, all standing in a line and looking at the four old people who were there.
"That's Sasuke." Said Sasuke, pointing at Sasuke. Jr. "He's like me only blond."
"I can see the resemblance." Said Kakashi. "Hi. I was your father's teacher a long time ago." Sasuke Jr. didn't reply for a moment. Actually, no one really said anything. "And…yes…I am a pirate."
"I wasn't going to ask." Said Sasuke Jr.
"I can remember the huge party when young Sasuke was born!" said Kurenai out of nowhere. "We all just took turns holding the new Uchiha! My, how you've grown!"
"Fifteen years will do that to you." Said Sasuke Jr.
"And THIS…this is Lil Kurenai!!" said Kiba, walking up to Tashoku and whispering the current situation to her in a voice that only her Inuzuka ears would be able to hear.
"Oh right!" said Tashoku. "Lil Kurenai. That's me."
"Lil Kurenai?" said Kobiru. "That's crazy! Her name is—"
"SHUT UP KOBIRU!!!" yelled Kiba as he obviously just suppressed the urge to smack Kobiru into next Tuesday.
"Who is that?" asked Asuma. "I hope it's not that horrible daughter that you don't like as much."
"Don't even SAY that!" said Kiba dramatically. "Kobiru?! My daughter?! I would rather DIE!"
"Oh Mr. Inuzuka!" laughed Kobiru. "That would be funny, wouldn't it?"
"No." said Kiba. "It would be devastating."
"Lee, I thought you said you had another son." Said Gai, changing the subject.
"I do." Said Lee, pointing in the direction of the four oldest kids that were just standing there like knaves.
Gai went down the line. "Let's see…" he said slowly. "Sasuke the second… Lil Kurenai… Lil Kurenai's friend… and… Neji's…other kid?"
"No you silly!" said Lee. "That's MY kid! That's Lil Lee!"
"Oh." Said Gai as he leaned over to Lee and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Did you…adopt?" Of course, everyone could hear him anyway so Lil Lee only gave a heavy sigh.
"Gotta love those recessive genes, huh Shikamaru?" said Asuma.
"Um…I guess." Said Shikamaru, not really knowing how else to respond or why that question was even directed towards him in the first place. Then he remembered! Oh yeah. Asuma's in love with me.
"Oh Shikamaru, I love you." Said Asuma and Chouji at the same time. They both looked at each other and glared.
"I'm going to stand over here…" said Shikamaru, backing away.
"I didn't mean it in a sexual way!" said Asuma. "I was just meaning that I loved you in a sort of fatherly way because of all the things you were able to accomplish in your lifetime!"
"…Me too!!" said Chouji quickly.
"Still…I think I'll explore my personal space." Shikamaru insisted, backing away further yet.
"Have it your way, Shikamaru." Said Asuma.
"What are you four doing in Kokomo anyway?" asked Shino suddenly.
Once again, the only reaction he got was people staring at him.
"Hey guys, I've got the best idea ever." Said Kurenai. "Let's go out for lunch and that restaurant we saw on our way over here!"
"Do you mean that really fancy place?" asked Kakashi.
"That's a great idea!" said Gai. "You should all put on some nice clothes and we'll meet you over there!"
"YAY!!" cheered everyone as they jumped up and punched the air. The oldest folks left to go and get seats for their abnormally large group while everyone else dashed into the house to get into their nice clothes.