"This is the full list?" Elizabeth accepted the tablet passed down the table.
"It is what the departments under me have come up with in the last couple weeks," Zelenka nodded, "I have separated it into three different categories as you instructed: things we need, things we want, and things that would be nice.
"You asked everyone under you?" Elizabeth skimmed the text quickly before handing it to D.
"Everyone suitable, yes," Zelenka straightened his glasses, "I have received new people recently that are not working out and will be returning to SGC soon. I asked people staying to each create their own list, then put everything together and separated them myself. The email instructions said to think like there was no budget, so that is what we have done."
"There's a lot of overlap here with Rodney's list," D scrolled quickly through the tablet, "But that's to be expected."
"That's the last of the supply lists, right?" Elizabeth looked over to D, "How much do you think, realistically, we'll be able to get a hold of?"
"Depends on who's currently the head of the budget committee," D added the tablet to the pile in front of her and reached forward to hit a couple keys on her laptop, "what means you use to acquire some of the items, and what method of persuasion you use to sell the idea. Assuming everything is obtained through strictly legal means, I'd say we could convince them to give us nearly ninety-five percent of the 'need' lists, about sixty-three percent of the 'want' list, and about fourteen percent of the 'would be nice' lists. Those percentages go up if you consider other methods of acquisition."
"Other methods of acquisition?" John drawled, "Would you like to be more specific?"
"Well," D sat back in her chair, "I'm assuming that whoever goes to speak with the budget committee is going to tell the truth about why we want certain supplies. For example," D turned to gesture at the flat-screen behind her, "Carson's want list includes some basic medical supplies and MRE rations for humanitarian missions. If that's the reason you give the IOA, they're going to say no. If, however," D turned back to the group, "the IOA were told that we need those supplies to replace the ones that have been lost or stolen over the last six months, they'd be more likely to let us have them."
"You're suggesting we lie to the IOA?" Carson raised an eyebrow.
"Not necessarily lie," D shrugged, "According to the security reports, a lot of things go missing in the City. Who's to say whether or not those supplies are really there or not?"
"The inventory reports would show differently though," Lorne hesitated, "The first inspection would show the 'missing' supplies were still here."
"Evan," D gave him an amused smile, "Your men are responsible for doing the monthly inventory. How hard would it be to adjust their paperwork? Or if that makes you uncomfortable," D continued easily at Lorne's frown, "How hard would it be for those supplies to be mysteriously moved into an uninhabited section of the City so they don't show up on inventory reports?"
"Not lying," Radek said thoughtfully, "More like…adjusting the truth."
"Exactly," D nodded, "This meeting is supposed to be about Atlantis' continued survival in the Pegasus galaxy. How far would you go to survive?"
"Are there any items on the lists that can be created?" Teyla wondered, "Either here in the City or perhaps somewhere in Pegasus?"
"That's a good idea in theory," Rodney replied, "But we don't have time to be manufacturing every little thing that we need and, no offense, but any society advanced enough to make what we need doesn't last very long in this galaxy."
"That's not necessarily true," D argued, "Colonel Sheppard's list included tactical vests and weapon holsters. If we provided the base materials and instructions, I'm almost positive the Pulooy would be capable of assembling them. That would cut the cost considerably."
"There are many societies that would be willing to trade food items as well," Teyla looked to Elizabeth, "Up until now we have only been trading for small amounts. If we were to rely more on food from trade here in Pegasus, we would be less dependent on supplies from Earth."
"Do you know of any societies that would be willing to trade such large quantities of food?" Elizabeth asked curiously.
"Only if we had something they value to offer in return," Teyla answered, "Perhaps manual labor to assist in planting and harvesting the additional crops or the medical supplies you spoke of earlier. Even something as simple as a guarantee of sanctuary should the Wraith attack."
"We're going to run into a lot of security issues if we start inviting everyone back to Atlantis," John pointed out, "We could end up with Genii spies or Wraith worshippers in the City."
"They wouldn't have to come here right away. We have a number of suitable alpha sites," D suggested, "If we were to offer sanctuary, we could send them there until a risk assessment is completed."
"And who's going to do that assessment?" Rodney scoffed, "We don't have enough people for that."
"He's right," Lorne agreed, "Unless we get more security personnel, that's not really a viable option."
"Actually, at this point in time, the number of personnel is irrelevant," D spoke evenly, "There are only two people in the City would could do an in-depth assessment without additional training."
"What are you talking about?" John gave her a small frown, "We have some of the best trained military that Earth has to offer."
D looked to Elizabeth uncertainly, "Ma'am?"
"Go ahead," Elizabeth nodded once and leaned back in her chair.
"I'd like to preface what's about to happen," D looked around the room, "by saying that I mean no disrespect to anyone here. I'm merely trying to demonstrate a point. I'm going to ask a series of questions and I want your answers to be as honest and specific as possible. If you need further clarification, ask for it," D's gaze settled on John, "Colonel Sheppard, how many weapons are in this room?"
"What?" John looked at her curiously.
"How many weapons are currently in this room?" D repeated the question patiently.
"Two guns, mine and Lorne's," John answered carefully, "Ronon's blaster and however many knives he's carrying today."
"Specialist Dex," D turned to Ronon, "How many weapons are currently in this room?"
Ronon glanced around the room, "Define weapon."
"Any object where the primary purpose is causing harm to a living being," D clarified.
"Teyla has a small hunting knife in her left boot; straight, four inch, single-sided blade. No weapons on Dr. Beckett," Ronon looked at each person as he spoke, "Lorne has a nine-millimeter handgun on his right thigh, fifteen round magazine capacity, no bullet in the chamber. Sheppard has a forty-five caliber handgun on his right thigh, seven round magazine capacity, additional round in the chamber, and a second clip on his belt. He has one of those military knives in the holster on his belt, currently on his back right hip; straight, seven inch, single-edged blade. Dr. Zelenka has one of those knife things with all the tools in his right pants pocket. Dr. Weir has a small folding knife clipped to the inside of her pants on her front right hip; curved, three inch, single-edged blade. Another one of those knife tools on McKay; also in his right pants pocket," Ronon paused when he looked at D, "I have seven knives on me, but I'm not telling you where they are or what kind they are. My gun is on my right hip. There's more but…"
"It's all right, kunane," D encouraged, "Please finish."
"You have only two knives today, but I won't say where they are," Ronon continued, "Both curved, four inch, double-sided blades. You've fitted your watch with a thin wire, but I'm not sure how long it is since I've never seen you use it. Another knife-tool thing in your left pants pocket. Two collapsible batons, one inside each boot. You started carrying those yesterday."
"The knife tool you're referring to is called a Swiss army knife. Thank you, Ronon," D smiled warmly at him before she turned to Lorne, "Major Lorne, who is the most dangerous person in this room?"
"Ronon, I guess," Lorne shifted in his chair.
"Why?" D questioned.
"Because I'm pretty sure he could kick all our asses," Lorne admitted dryly.
"Dex," D looked back to Ronon, "Who is the most dangerous person in this room?"
"Under what terms?" Ronon narrowed his eyes.
"Biggest potential for casualties," D leaned back in her chair comfortably, "Don't forget to tell us why."
"McKay," Ronon answered easily, "He can build the big bombs faster than anyone else."
"Dr. Beckett," D looked to Carson, "Who is the strongest person in this room and why?"
"Well, Ronon, I suppose," Carson replied uncertainly, "because he has the largest muscle mass."
"Dex," D folded her hands over her lap.
"Teyla is the strongest," Ronon spoke quietly, "Because she shows compassion even to her enemies."
"Dr. Zelenka, who is the most powerful person in this room?" D asked calmly.
"I would say Dr. Weir," Zelenka responded, "She makes the rules for the rest of us. I suspect, however, that is not the answer you are looking for."
"Dex," D prompted.
"I agree. Dr. Weir," Ronon stretched out in his chair, "But not for the same reasons. She makes the rules but she doesn't enforce them. She is the most powerful because she commands the respect and loyalty of everyone here. Because every single one of us would kill and die on her orders."
"Teyla," D turned her head to look at the other woman, "If you were stranded on a planet and you could choose only one person in this room to be with you, who would it be and why?"
"Is there any hope of being rescued from the planet?" Teyla asked carefully.
"No," D shook her head, "You are the only two survivors of the human race in the galaxy."
A pensive look came over Teyla's face, "What type of planet?"
"Uncultivated but habitable," D replied easily, "Temperate climate, a mix between heavily forested and open fields. Large oceans, plenty of rivers with fresh water."
"Do we have any supplies with us?" Teyla inquired.
"Only what you can carry between the two of you," D gave the other woman a small smile, "No jumper, but anything else you would find in the survival kits inside, minus the advanced technology and the weapons."
"I believe I would choose Ronon," Teyla answered calmly, "He has the necessary skills we would need to not only survive, but to live. Between the two of us, we would be able to hunt or forage for food and build shelters to shield us from the elements. He would also be a wise choice to father children. He is physically capable, intelligent, and pleasant company. He has the temperament and determination needed to continue living."
"Ronon," D turned her smile to him, "Same question."
"What she said," Ronon grinned at Teyla.
"Final question," D turned to Rodney, "Dr. McKay, who is the biggest threat in this room?"
"I'm not even going to try to answer that," Rodney huffed, "It's obviously a trick question."
D turned to Ronon and raised an eyebrow.
"You are the biggest threat, Dr. Vaughn," Ronon's expression grew serious as he straightened in his chair, "Because you have no mercy. You would destroy this entire planet and everyone on it, without hesitation, if it meant succeeding in your goal."
"Now for a practical demonstration," D stood and walked around the table to stand in front of Lorne, "May I have your sidearm, Major?"
Lorne slid his gun out of the holster and held it out to D across the table.
"Dr. Weir," D narrowed her eyes at Lorne as she took the gun from his hand, "What are the first two rules when dealing with guns?"
"Never point a gun at someone you aren't willing to kill," Elizabeth answered calmly, "And never hand someone a loaded gun because it can be used against you."
"Even if it's someone you trust?" John looked between Elizabeth and D.
"Two things, Colonel," D ejected the clip and laid it on the table in front of Lorne, "First, things change, people change. Just because you trusted someone yesterday doesn't mean you should trust them today"
"And the second?" John leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Second, I am the last person you should ever trust," D disassembled the gun and laid the pieces in front of Carson, "Hypothetical situation, Dr. Beckett. I'm a Wraith. You have one minute to kill me before I kill you."
"But I don't…" Carson frowned down at the pieces.
"Starting," D looked at her watch, "Now."
"I'm a bloody doctor," Carson grumbled as he picked up two of the pieces and turned them over in his hands, "not a soldier. I don't know how to…"
"Forty-five seconds," D kept her gaze on her watch.
"Damn it," Carson swore as he slid the pieces he held together.
Carson continued swearing under his breath as his shaking hands put the gun back together.
"Ten, nine, eight," D started counting down as Carson slid the last piece into place, "Think you're done?"
"Yes, yes," Carson took a deep breath as he looked down at the reassembled gun, "There. I put the damn thing back together."
"Time. Sorry, Carson," D finally looked away from her watch, "You're dead."
"What?" Carson protested, "But I put the gun back together in the time you gave me."
D picked up the gun and moved over to Elizabeth. She disassembled the gun again, dropping the pieces onto the table in front of Elizabeth.
"Same instructions," D instructed as she looked down at her watch, "I'm a Wraith. You have one minute to kill me before I kill you. Your time starts now."
Elizabeth started reassembling the weapon quickly. She put the last piece in place, then stood, gun in hand as she walked over to pick up the clip in front of Lorne. She slammed it into place before she raised the gun to aim at D.
"Bang, bang," Elizabeth announced dryly, "You're dead."
"Seventeen seconds to spare," D smiled and held out her hand.
"Now wait a minute," Carson complained, "That's not hardly fair."
"Yeah," Rodney agreed, "And what happened to not pointing a gun at someone you're not willing to kill?"
"I am willing to kill her," Elizabeth ejected the clip from the gun and set it on the table in front of Lorne before she handed the gun to D.
"As you should be," D walked over to Ronon as Elizabeth sat back down, "One more."
D disassembled the gun once more, setting the pieces in front of Ronon as a grin spread across his face.
"I'm a Wraith. One minute to kill me before I kill you. Actually," D tilted her head to the side, "Hold on."
She unzipped her jacket, pulling it off and leaning over the table to drape it on the back of her chair.
"For the purposes of this demonstration, we're going to pretend you don't have your gun," D stepped back into the middle of the room as Ronon set his blaster on the table, "Colonel Sheppard, if you would time this one please."
"Sure," John looked at his watch, "One minute, starting now."
Ronon shoved his chair back and leapt over the table, drawing a large wicked looking silver knife from his belt. He sliced towards D and she brought her left arm up to block him. Ronon grabbed her raised arm and tried to twist her away, but D shoved her right arm forward, palm open and aimed at the center of his chest. Just before her hand made contact, Ronon sliced through the fabric of her uniform at the inside of her right bicep. D shifted her stance to yank her left arm out of Ronon's grip but he moved around her to hold the knife against her neck. D stilled as the cool metal laid against her skin.
"Time," Ronon grunted.
"Forty-three seconds remaining," John stated evenly.
"Damn it, Ronon," D twisted his arm to jerk the knife away from her neck and elbowed Ronon hard in the stomach. He grunted as his body was forced back a step. D poked a finger in the hole in her sleeve, drawing a bloody finger out, "I know you have better control than that."
"Sorry," Ronon grinned as he slid the knife back into the holster on his belt.
"You're not sorry, asshole," D scowled at Ronon's back as he started putting the Lorne's gun back together, "You did it on purpose because I made you talk so much."
"You all right?" Elizabeth asked lightly.
"I'm fine, ma'am," D sucked the blood off her finger, "Minor scratch."
Ronon clicked the last piece of the gun in place and walked over to hand it to Lorne. Lorne slid the clip back in and leaned back to put the gun back in his holster as Ronon and D took their seats again.
"So what was the point of all this?" Rodney questioned, "Other than embarrassing all of us."
"It wasn't meant to be embarrassing, Rodney," D insisted, turning to face John again, "You are correct in saying that Atlantis has some of the best trained military that Earth has to offer, Colonel. You are incorrect in assuming that training is adequate for the Pegasus galaxy."
"Explain, please," John asked calmly.
"Nearly every military on Earth trains their soldiers to follow orders," D responded, "They teach you a specific set of tactics and skills, a way of thinking that helps you stay alive in battle. You forget that we are not on Earth anymore. We're not even in the Milky Way. You cannot assume that those tactics and thought patterns will serve you well here. Before we started, I told you to answer as honestly and specifically as possible, but I also said to ask for clarification if you needed it. None of you asked me what I meant. I asked how many weapons were in this room. You answered assuming I meant guns and knives. Ronon asked me to specify what I meant by the word weapon. Technically, everything in this room can be used as a weapon. Not only that, but he gave me the location and type of each weapon, with reasonable accuracy. If you don't even know if someone is carrying a weapon or not, how can you determine whether they are a threat?"
"What about the rest of the questions you asked us?" Lorne wondered, "Who was right?"
"Both sets of answers were correct," D stated calmly, "The questions further illustrated the difference in thought patterns between the Milky Way and Pegasus populations. You assumed I meant physically dangerous. Ronon asked for clarification and responded accordingly. Carson assumed I meant physical strength, Ronon assumed I meant the strength in the broadest sense of the word. Both Radek and Ronon agreed that Elizabeth is the most powerful person in the room, but they each had different reasons. Radek thinks it's because she makes the rules, because on Earth you're taught from birth to follow those rules. Ronon thinks it's because she holds our lives in her hands, because in Pegasus, life is the most important thing. When I asked Teyla about being stranded on a planet, she asked me for more details, thinking carefully about her response before she gave it. When she did answer, she took it a step further, explaining that she would not only survive on that planet, but flourish – including enough foresight to consider repopulating the human race."