Chapter 36: Clean Slate.
"You hit on your counselor?"
Sam groaned and blushed. "I did. If you saw him, you would too." Remus gave her a look. She laughed. "Ok, maybe, you wouldn't. He didn't seem to mind though. Dr. Roberts seemed flattered."
Remus eyed her closely. "I don't know if I trust him with you."
She smiled and kissed him briefly. "He is a good guy. He is trustworthy." She sighed. "He gave me two assignments for next week."
"What are they?"
She sighed again. "The first one isn't so bad. I have to have talks with my other friends. I have to apologize for my actions towards them."
He nodded slowly. "What's the other one?"
Sam made an annoyed face and he stifled a laugh. "I have to spend the week with Sirius."
"What?"
She nodded. "He wants me to let go of my anger towards him. He wants me to become his friend again. Dr. Roberts has this crazy idea that Sirius is in love with me even after I told him about our break up. He wants me to keep a record of how Sirius acts around me."
Remus shifted uncomfortably. He knew that Sirius still loved Sam but he wasn't going to say anything. It was Sirius' responsibility to tell her. "That seems a little odd." She nodded in agreement. "I have to agree with him though. I think it will help you get better if you let go of your anger. Becoming friends with Sirius again isn't the worst thing."
"Says you."
He laughed. "You were friends with him before all of this happened."
"No, I wasn't. We were never really friends. I've always had feelings for him."
"What about when we were together?"
Sam sighed. "I still liked him then but I was in love with you."
Remus smiled. "Face it, Sam. The two of you were close friends despite your feelings for him. Don't you miss him being in your life?"
She awkwardly nodded. "I guess, I do. It's just going to be so hard to get past the pain he has always seemed to cause me. I don't know if I can do it."
He hugged her. "You are strong enough to do this. I have faith in your abilities to forgive. You just have to be open to let it happen."
Sam kissed him again and held him closer. She laughed. "I'm glad you waited for me. I promise I will try and be friends with him."
"That's all I ask."
They walked into the common room and Sam made a face at Remus when she saw Sirius smile at her. "I change my mind. I don't think I can do this." She whispered.
He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Yes, you can. Just take it one step at a time."
They sat down next to the others and smiled. "How'd your meeting with Dumbledore go?" James asked.
She smiled. "It went fine. It took a little longer than I thought but he just wanted to make sure I was ok."
"I'm bored." Sirius announced. "Does anyone want to play wizard's chess?"
Remus nudged Sam in her side. She gave him a look and he nodded towards Sirius. She inwardly groaned. "I-I'll play, Sirius."
Sirius beamed at her. She made a mental note to write that down. "That'd be great, Sammy. You can go first."
They played for a while and the others laughed when Sam continually lost. "This sucks! I've gotten worse!"
Sirius laughed at her. "Do you know what this reminds me of?"
Sam had a theory but she didn't say. "No, I don't."
"The night we were alone in your house over the summer. The night we got together."
Frank laughed. "You two got together over a game of wizard's chess?"
She sighed. "More or less."
Alice smiled. "That's so cute. To think, a game of chess brought you two together."
Sirius smiled at Sam. "Yeah, it did. That game gave me the courage to ask her out."
"Well, we all know how well that worked out, don't we?" Sam said coolly. Sirius' face fell and everyone was staring at her in surprise. "I-I'm sorry. I think I should go to bed."
When she left, Remus let out a sigh. "Mate, she didn't mean it."
He shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I think I'm going to go for a walk." He got up and left.
Lily looked at them and shrugged. "What the hell was that all about?"
James shrugged. "I have no idea. Do you know, Moony?"
Remus shifted uncomfortably. "N-No idea. She said she was going to try to be his friend again. I think the talk about how they got together was too much."
"I wish she would just get over it. It's been over two months." James grumbled.
Alice rolled her eyes. "She'll get over it when she is good and ready. At least she is trying to be his friend."
"Well, she obviously isn't trying very hard." Frank said.
"Yes, she is! He hurt her deeply! It's going to take a little longer than two months for her to get over it. You can't blame her for still being angry." Lily grumbled.
Remus looked between everyone. "Why don't we stop talking about this? They have to work it out for themselves. There's no use in arguing over something we can't control."
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Sam sat with her friends in the library. She had to apologize. "I'm sorry for the way I acted before I went away. You didn't deserve it."
Chris, the girls, and Michael smiled at her. "It's ok, Sam. We forgive you. We know that you were just hurt." Michael said.
She sighed. "That's no excuse. I was so in the wrong. I lashed out at everyone and you didn't deserve it. Chris, I'm sorry that I blamed my break up with Sirius on you. It wasn't your fault. I'm also sorry for lying to him about you."
Chris smiled. "It's alright. I'm just glad that you are getting better."
"Sam, I'm sorry for telling Bertha about that comment you made about Sirius…and for telling him that you were pregnant. I hope you can forgive me." Lilac said in a small voice.
Sam shrugged. "It's ok, Lilac. I had time to think about it and it was kind of funny. You don't need to worry." They hugged and Sam smiled. "Let's talk about something else. Are you excited about the Christmas Ball next week?"
The girls nodded. Chris shrugged. "It's just another ball to me. Monica is excited about it though."
"You're going with Monica Winston?" Patty asked.
He nodded. "Yeah, I am. I asked her out two weeks ago."
"Krista can't seem to stop talking about it. I love being with her but if she doesn't shut up about it soon, I'm breaking up with her." Michael said.
They laughed. "You're going out with Krista Michaels? Since when?" Mary asked.
"Since the beginning of term." He sighed. "I don't know for how much longer though."
Alice looked at him closely. "Why do you say that?"
Michael looked at Sam. "She seems to be obsessed with your ex-boyfriends. All she talks about, besides the Christmas Ball, is Remus and Sirius."
"She dated Sirius years ago. She can't still be infatuated with him." Lilac said.
He shrugged. "Well, she is. Ever since those rumors went around, she's gotten even more obsessed."
Sam sighed. "I'm sorry, Michael."
"It's not your fault, Sammy. Krista is just crazy!" They laughed.
"Who are you going with, Sam?" Alice asked.
She shrugged. "I'm not going with anyone. It's just a ball. It really doesn't matter."
"Are you waiting for Snape to ask you?" Chris asked as he winked at her.
Sam laughed. "No, I'm not. We are just friends. I'll go even if I don't have a date. I've done it before."
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Sam walked into the potions classroom and slightly smiled when she saw Severus setting up. This was their last tutoring session and a part of her felt sad about it. "Hello Severus."
Severus looked up and slightly smiled. She was surprised when he hugged her. "Are you ok?"
She nodded. "I'm fine. I'm sorry that I haven't spoken to you earlier. I've just been trying to catch up with everything."
He shrugged. "It doesn't matter."
"Thank you for the letter you sent me. That was really sweet of you."
He blushed. "It wasn't a problem."
"I have to talk to you about something." He looked at her closely and nodded. She sat on the top of the desk and sighed. "I've enjoyed the time that we spent together. You've become a really good friend."
"I've enjoyed it too."
She was surprised by his honesty. "There's something else that you are probably aware of but I have to say it anyway. When we did those things…a part of me wanted to because I liked you. Another part of me was using you."
"You were?"
"I was hurt and confused. I thought you would be the perfect distraction. Don't get me wrong, I do care for you. I hope you aren't too upset with me."
He was silent for a moment before speaking. "You were using me?"
Sam closed her eyes and sighed. "I partially used you. You have to believe that I do care about you. I really enjoyed the time we've spent together. I like being your friend and I did enjoy kissing you."
"Then why did you tell Black that I was bad at it?"
She knew that this was one of those times where it was ok to lie. "I told him it was not like you were bad at it. He was just jealous. Don't listen to him."
Severus nodded. "Why are you telling me this? Does this have anything to do with your heart condition?"
"How do you know about that?"
He blushed. "I saw you with your brother the night you came back. I heard you talking about it."
Sam looked at him. He was the one that was listening to them. She felt a weird sense of distrust toward him that moment and couldn't understand why she felt that way. "Yes, it has to do with that. That little incident that caused me to go to St. Mungo's made me realize that time is too short. I want to make amends with the people I've wronged."
"You didn't wrong me, Samantha. I used you too, at first. I wanted your brother and friends…I wanted them to suffer with the knowledge that you wanted to spend time with me and there was nothing they could do to stop it."
He expected her to be angry. He was surprised when she laughed. "We're quite the pair, aren't we? We used each other for such stupid reasons and became friends because of it." She smiled. "Do you enjoy spending time with me? Be honest. I'll know if you are lying."
"Yes, I do."
"Do you still want to be friends?"
"Yes."
"Do you have any romantic feelings for me?"
"No, I don't."
She smiled. "Good to know. Now, let's get to work. This is our last session together and I want to make it count."
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Sirius yawned loudly. He was extremely bored. Everyone seemed to be somewhere else. He left Sarah early because she wouldn't shut up about the ball. He really wanted to break up with her but he didn't want to deal with the tears. Sarah was a crier that he knew for a fact. He inwardly groaned when he thought about being forced to spend the entire night of the Christmas Ball in dress robes and attached to Sarah. He made a mental note to try and sneak in some fire whiskey. That would be the only thing that would help him get through the night. "Hello Sirius."
He jumped in surprise and sighed. "Hello Samantha."
Sam sat down next to him. "Do you want to play wizard's chess?"
He gave her a hard look. "I'm afraid that the last time we played was just too much fun for me. I don't think I have the energy for another joyous game."
He stood up but she pulled him back down. "I hate you."
"Thanks a lot."
Sam laughed. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry for what I said to you last night."
Sirius shrugged indifferently. "Is that all?"
She rolled her eyes and punched him in the arm. He glowered at her while he rubbed his arm. "Would you stop acting like a baby? I'm trying to apologize to you! Why do you have to be so damn difficult all the time?"
"Because it annoys you." He smiled. "By the way, that hurt!"
She laughed. "I'm glad it did. I'm sorry for what I said. You were trying to be nice and I was a bitch." He nodded eagerly and she hit him again. "Would you listen?"
Sirius groaned. "Only if you stop hitting me! When the hell did you get so strong?"
"When did you become such a wuss?"
"I'm not a wuss!"
"You can't take a punch in the arm from a girl! You are a wuss!"
"No, I'm not!"
Sam smiled evilly before punching his arm again. She laughed when he yelped. "See, you are a big wuss!"
He laughed as he rubbed his arm again. "I accept your apology. If I didn't, I'm afraid my arm would fall off from being constantly hit."
She hugged him slowly. "I have a lot of anger towards you still."
"So I've noticed."
She laughed. "I want to be friends with you again. I really do miss having you in my life. I think we should spend some time together as friends. I have to get over my anger and I think if we get to know each other again…do you agree with my idea or not?"
Sirius smiled brightly. "You've missed me? Do you want us to get back together?"
Her face fell. "Look, if you don't want us to be a friend, that's fine with me! I just thought that maybe we could put aside our differences for once and actually be friends! This time we don't have some stupid…love thing between us! We could honestly be real friends but you just had to remind me of that night! You just had to remind me what we had was just a big joke to you, didn't you?" She ran out of the portrait hole after punching him in the chest.
He groaned and ran after her. He saw her but decided to follow her instead of calling out. She walked around aimlessly for a bit before going up to the astronomy tower. She leaned against the wall and sighed as she looked up at the stars. "Fancy meeting you here."
Sam turned around and glared at him. "What are you doing up here?"
"I followed you."
"I want you to leave. Having you up here with me…can you please leave?"
Sirius stood next to her and sighed. "No, I can't. If you are serious about wanting to be friends, we have a few things to discuss."
"What do we have to talk about?"
He made her look at him. "What happened between us…what I did…"
She rolled her eyes and tried to move away but he stopped her. "Do we have to talk about it now? Can we just pretend that we did talk about it?"
"If we pretend anymore, I'm afraid you'll break off my arm." She rolled her eyes and laughed as she unbuttoned the middle of his shirt. "W-What are you doing?"
Sam rolled her eyes again and sighed. "Quit acting like such a girl! I'm not trying to seduce you. That's the last thing on my mind right now. I want to check and see if there's going to be a bruise where I hit you." She opened his shirt and winced at the bright red mark. He stifled a groan when she touched it. She frowned as she continued to lightly touch the mark. "I'm sorry about that."
Sirius put his hand over hers and slightly smiled. "It's ok. I deserved it after…making that stupid joke." She shrugged and he carefully brought her into a hug. "Do you think you'll ever forgive me?"
"I honestly don't know. I hope so." She awkwardly rested her head on his shoulder and sighed when he kissed her forehead. Sam pulled away from him and wouldn't look at him. "You really hurt me. I don't know what I did to deserve it."
He touched her arm but she pulled away. "You didn't do anything. It was all my fault. You were right about me, Sam. I was a coward." She opened her mouth to argue but he kept talking. "I was a huge fucking coward. I had someone who loved me and who would die for me, staring me in the face and I walked away. Actually, I beat it down and then set it on fire before walking away. I blamed all my fears on you and that's not who I am."
She stared at him curiously. "I wasn't myself when I was with either." She said in a small voice. "I was…someone I can't recognize. I took your crap, I begged you to love me, and the person I became afterwards…I don't even want to know."
"I promised you things that I wasn't ready for because I thought that was what you wanted. I started to feel trapped…I wasn't myself either. I let fear control me…I let it win. I'm truly sorry."
"I want to believe you but it's hard. If only there was a way that we could start over."
Sirius smiled brightly. He held out his hand and she reluctantly took it. "Hello, I'm Sirius Black. I'm a first year at Hogwarts."
Sam laughed. "Sirius, what the hell are you doing?"
"We are starting over…in a way. Now, as I was saying! Hello, I'm Sirius Black. I'm a first yeah at Hogwarts. How about you?"
"Hello Sirius. I'm Samantha Potter. I won't be starting there until the next year. My brother James will be starting with you. I know for a fact that the two of you will be best mates." She kissed his cheek.
He laughed. He quickly kissed her three times. "That's what will happen between us in my third year."
She nodded slowly. "Ok, that's true. I will be ignoring you for months until the summer when I introduce you to…that git, Patrick. Now, I'm dating one of your best mates, Remus Lupin. I sleep with him and you get upset but quickly recover."
"I'm sorry to say that I meddle in your relationship with him in my fifth year. He hurts you because of it but I help get it back together."
Sam rolled her eyes. "Sadly, he cheats on me after a pregnancy scare and we break up at the Christmas Ball. I briefly date my good friends but I'm crazy about you and those relationships don't last long."
He shifted uncomfortably. "During that time, I finally get my head out of my ass and realize that I have feelings for you. We get together but I was a git and break your heart." She sadly smiled. "Now, Samantha, can I call you 'Sam' or 'Sammy'?"
She laughed. "Yes, you may."
Sirius smiled at her. "You briefly act like a git because of the way I treated you and I'm sorry for that. Now, Sam, this will be our future together. Even though we have no idea this will happen in the future, do you want to be my friend?"
"Yes, I do. I'd be honored to be your friend despite the unknown future."
He bent his knees and leaned forward. "Now, get on my back."
"Excuse me?"
"Sam, remember during my first year when I spent Christmas at your house?" She nodded. "That Christmas, I always gave you piggy back rides. If we are going to start over, we have to do it."
She shook her head and laughed. "You're crazy! Sirius, you don't have to do that. I only let you do that because it was the only way a stupid ten year old girl with a crush could get next to you in some way."
"That's so cute." She rolled her eyes. "Get on my back, Sam!"
Sam grumbled and cautiously got on his back. She held on to him tightly as he started to move towards the door. "Sirius, where the hell do you think you are going?"
Sirius let out a small laugh. "We're going back to the common room."
"This is crazy! You can't carry me all the way down there! There are a lot of stairs and long hallways and even more stairs! You can't take a few punches from a girl! How are you going to be able to go that long holding on to me?"
"I can manage! Don't worry about it! If I trip, you are in the perfect position to put me in a choke hold. I know how much you'd love to do that."
She giggled. "That's true. Just promise that you won't let me go."
He smiled. "I will never let you go, Sammy." They left the astronomy tower and by the time they were a few feet away from the portrait hole, Sirius was gasping for air. "When the hell did you get so heavy? I don't remember you being this hard to carry."
"Watch it, Black. This was your brilliant idea. I was ten when you last did this!" She thought about his comment and gasped. "Did you just call me fat?"
Sirius let out a weak laugh. "I'd never do that!"
"You better not have. Remember, my feet are by your special area and my arms are around your throat! I'd be careful with what you say!" They walked into the common room and he didn't let her down. "Aren't you going to let me go?"
"I said I would never let you go. I meant it."
She groaned. "Sirius let me go before you have a heart attack!"
"No, I won't!"
"Fine, be that way!" She sighed. "Can I ask you something?"
Sirius nodded. "Of course you can."
Sam sighed again. "You have to answer honestly." He nodded again. "Was it all a lie? Did you ever love me?"
"What the hell are you doing, Sam? Why are you on his back? Do you have him in the choke hold?"
Sirius let her down and they turned around. Remus was staring at them in disbelief. "No worries, Moony! We were just starting over. I was giving her a piggy back ride like I used to. She's a lot heavier than I remember." She glared at him and punched him in the arm. He winced and rubbed his arm. "And she's a lot stronger too."
She smiled brightly. "A year and a half of being a beater will do that! By the way, stop implying that I'm fat or I really will hurt you!"
He held up his hands in defense and laughed. "I wasn't implying anything! I swear that I wasn't! I'd never be stupid enough to say that! You aren't fat!"
Remus shook his head in confusion and sighed. "Sam, can I talk to you for a moment in private?" She nodded and walked away from Sirius. "What the hell was that all about?"
Sam lightly laughed. "Sirius had this crazy idea about starting over. That's all."
"You seem to be on friendly terms with him."
She shrugged. "I said I would try and I am."
"That's good to hear." He smiled. "I wanted to ask you something."
"What is it?"
"Do you want to go to the ball with me? As friends, of course."
She smiled and kissed him. "I'd love too, Moony." He sighed in relief.
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James sat down on his bed across from Sam. "What's this all about?"
San smiled at him. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you before being sent away."
"You already apologized for that."
"I know but I wanted to do it again. You were just trying to look out for me and I treated you like crap. You didn't deserve it and I'm sorry."
He hugged her. "It's ok, Sammy." He looked at her closely. "You really scared me with the way you acted. I was afraid that I lost you for good."
"You could never really lose me, James. Even when I acted like an ass, I still loved you."
"Sammy…I was terrified that night. You were screaming so loud and you looked so scared. When they put the restraints on you…I never want to go through that again."
"Neither do I. That's why I've wanted to apologize to you. I was so scared that night and you were right there, trying to protect me."
"I'll always protect my little sister. No matter what, I'll always protect you."
She started to cry and he held her tightly. "James, I want you to know that I love you. You may be the only brother that I will ever have but I love you very much. You've always been there for me and that means more to me than you will ever know. You are the best big brother in the world, Jimmybean."
He blushed and laughed. "You are the greatest little sister, Sammabelle. I love you, Sammy. You never have to doubt that."
"Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "What happened between you and Mama?"
James sighed. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."
"Tell me, James."
"She has known about your…condition since she was pregnant with you."
Sam was utterly shocked by this. "What? Are you sure?"
He nodded. "Dad and I found out the night we took you to St. Mungo's. Dumbledore and that woman I used to call mum knew what you were and they did nothing to help you! They knew that you'd probably be hospitalized one day and they still did nothing!"
"James Igniaus Potter! You never disrespect our mother like that again! She couldn't have possibly understood anything about my condition! Dumbledore tried to warn me but I didn't listen! Don't blame this all on her!"
"Did you know that our grandmother was a dream seer, Samantha Eugenia?"
She sighed. "I did. I found out while I was away. You can't blame this all on her though. It would have happened regardless."
James stood up and paced. "That may be true but she should have warned us! We could have found some way to help you!"
"James, she didn't understand. She must have been terrified when she found out that her only daughter would possibly have the same fate as her crazy mother!"
"Don't say that! You aren't crazy!"
Sam hugged him and smiled. "No, I'm not. I've been clearing my mind and taking the potions Dumbledore said to. I'm going to be fine. Please, forgive Mama for not saying anything sooner."
He made a face. "Why should I?"
"Because I'm asking you to. Think of it as my last request."
"Y-Your last request?"
She rolled her eyes. "It's just a saying!"
"Think of a better one!" He sighed. "What did you see in that dream, Sam?"
Sam smiled. "Forgive Mama and I'll tell you."
"Tell me, Samantha."
She sighed. "I-I saw my future. It doesn't look good." He gulped. "I wind up…looking like scary Aunt Virginia."
James let out a loud laugh. "Stop messing with me!"
She giggled. "I'm not! Anyone would be scared if they knew they'd wind up looking like her!"
"You're such an ass!"
"I've learned from the best!"
He rolled his eyes and smiled. "One more thing."
"What is it?"
"If you ever tell Lily my middle name, I'll have to kill you."
Sam laughed. "I won't. Don't tell anyone my middle name either." He nodded. "What were our parents thinking when they came up with these names?"
James laughed. "I like to think that they were drunk as hell. That's the only comforting thought I could come up with."
"I like that."
"There's something else that I have to tell you."
"Yes?"
He sighed. He looked so nervous that she almost laughed. "I'm going to Lily's house after Christmas dinner." She nodded slowly. "Her parents met me before and they seemed to like me, right?"
Sam nodded eagerly. "Of course they do! She told me that they wanted her to start going out with you in your fifth year after they met you."
James looked slightly relieved. "I'm going to ask for their permission to marry her."
Her mouth hung open and let out a loud gasp. "A-Are you serious?"
He smiled. "Yes, I am."
She tackled him to the ground. "James, this is amazing! This is beyond amazing! I can't believe it! You're getting married?"
James laughed. "I hope so. I hope she reacts the way you did!" He sighed. "I'm nervous as hell though."
"Of course you are! This is a huge step! Are you sure?"
He nodded. "I've always loved her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Do you think she will say yes?"
Sam smiled and nodded. "Yes, I do. The night after your first date, she said that she knew you were the one for her."
"She did?" She nodded. "That's good to know."
"When are you going to ask her?"
James grinned. "Let me get her parents permission first." She nodded again. "You can't tell her, Sam. I know she is your best friend and all but you can't tell her."
"James, I would never ruin this special moment for the two of you! This is amazing!"
"I know. I still can't believe she loves me."
"I can. You two are meant to be."
"Like you and Sirius?"
Sam's face slightly fell. "I-I don't think so. You and Lily are really meant to be."
"Sammy-"
"James, don't. Sirius and I had our chance and it didn't work out. We are trying to be friends. Maybe that's all we were really meant to be." He sighed. "Don't take away from this happy moment with talk about such depressing things. You're going to marry your dream girl, big brother!"
He laughed. "Yes, I am!"
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Sam was alone in the familiar white haze. Everything seemed to look the same as it did the last time she was there. She was wearing the same white wedding gown and her hair swept her back as she walked around. There was complete silence as she walked around looking for a sign of someone else being there with her. "I'm not afraid. I am not afraid." She muttered to herself.
"There's no reason to be."
She jumped in surprise at the voice. She turned around and gasped. Patrick was standing there with a bright smile on his face. "P-Patrick, is that really you?"
Patrick's smile grew as he nodded. "It's really me."
"What are you doing here?"
"I came here to see you. There's something you need to know. There's something that we have to help you with."
Before she could ask any questions, Remus, Sirius, and Michael appeared out of thin air. They smiled at her and she was confused as hell. "What's going on? Why are you all here?"
They laughed in an eerie way. "You have to know that I'm sorry for the way I've treated you, Sam." Patrick said. "You were good to me and I hurt you. I really wish I could take that back. I've changed. I'm not the same person that made that stupid bet. I've grown up a lot and I just thought that you should know how sorry I am."
Sam nodded slowly. "T-Thank you, Patrick. It doesn't matter anymore." He nodded. "I still don't understand what's going on."
The others stayed silent while Patrick spoke. "We are here to help you decide."
"Decide what?"
He smiled. "You need help letting go. You need help deciding who the right one is for you."
"I don't understand. Why do I have to make this decision right now?"
They sighed. Patrick gave her a grave smile. "Time is running out, Sam. It's time to make a choice. You need to know for sure. It's time to know."
She gulped. "It's too soon. I'm not supposed to decide."
Remus smiled gently at her. "Don't be scared, Sammy. You won't hurt us if you make a choice."
Patrick nodded. "He's right, Sammy. One of us is the right one for you. The rest of us are here to help you make the choice."
"H-How do I choose?"
Michael winked at her. "It's easy. Just forget about the past and follow your heart."
Sam looked at Patrick and sighed. "I never loved you, Patrick. I'm sorry but that's the truth."
"I know, Sam. It's okay."
Michael hugged her. "I've loved you for a long time and you will love me one day." She nodded slowly. "It will be fine, Sam."
"I'm scared, Michael. What if I make the wrong choice?"
He smiled. "We're here to help you."
Remus hugged her when Michael walked away. "I love you, Sammy."
She held onto him tightly. "I love you too, Remus."
He caressed her cheek and smiled. "Don't be so scared, Baby. You know who to choose."
"I choose you, Moony."
He lightly laughed. "As much as I want to be the one for you, I'm not. You're choosing out of fear."
Sam kissed him. "I'm not choosing out of fear. I love you! I always have!"
"I know you love me. I love you too. We will always have a special place in our hearts for each other but I'm still not the one."
She went over to Michael and kissed him. "You said that I will love you one day?" He nodded. "I choose you." She closed her eyes and kissed him again. When she opened her eyes, she let out a loud gasp. Sirius was holding her. "Sirius, what are you doing? I chose Michael!"
Sirius laughed. "He isn't the one, Sam. You know that."
Sam tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't loosen his hold on her. "It can't be you! It just can't be!"
He kissed her and she felt like she melted into him. "You know I'm the one, Sam. You've always known. You can't fight it."
"Why does it have to be you?"
Sirius whispered in her ear. "You will always love me. Wherever you are and whoever you are with, I'll always be the one you love."
"Why do I have to love someone who doesn't love me?"
"I've always loved you, Sammy. I was just scared to let you in." He kissed her. "There's no one else for me. Just say the words and we can be together."
"What words?"
He smiled. "You know what words to say."
She opened her mouth but quickly shut it. She looked at him closely. "My choosing you is selfish, isn't it?"
Sirius shrugged. "It might be. Say the words, Sammy. You know you want to."
"How can I trust this? How can I trust that you feel the same way?"
"You just have to believe. You know in your heart that you believe me. Just say the words, Sammy."
She gave him a pathetic look. "I'm scared, Sirius."
He kissed her forehead and brought her closer. "I know. So am I. We can be scared together." She lightly laughed. "You'll feel better if you just say the words."
"I…I love you, Sirius. I choose you." Sam felt a weird twinge in her chest. Sirius smiled as he held her tightly to him. She kissed him and felt a sense of relief. "I finally made the right choice, haven't I?"
Sirius smiled and nodded. "Yes, you did. You always knew I was the one. We are meant to be. We were just scared for a while. We don't have to be scared anymore."
"Do you think the others are mad at me?"
"Take a look for yourself."
Sam looked away from him and smiled at the others. They smiled back at her. Remus stepped forward and hugged her. "You've made the right choice, Sammy. He will make you happy one day."
"You aren't mad at me, Remus?"
He smiled slowly. "I'm not mad." She sighed happily. "It's almost time for you to wake up now."
She looked scared and hugged Sirius tightly. "I don't want to leave."
Patrick sighed. "You can't be here forever, Sam. You have to live your life."
"I just got him back! Why do I have to leave him? I don't want to leave him!"
Sirius kissed her temple. "We will be together one day, Sam. It's time to wake up now. You need to live."
Sam kissed him. "Promise me, Sirius. Promise that one day we will be together."
He smiled brightly. "I promise we will, Sam. One day, we will be together. We will love each other forever."
Sam smiled. "Ok, I can wake up now."
Remus stopped her. "Before you go, I have to tell you that Lily knows about my condition." She was about to speak when he cut her off. "Wake up, Sam!"
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Sam woke up in a cold sweat. She looked around the room and sighed. Her roommates were sound asleep. She laid back down and let out a soft groan. "This can't be happening." She muttered to herself.
She got out of bed and snuck into his room. She made sure to be as quiet as possible so she wouldn't wake the others. She sat down on his bed and sighed. He looked so peaceful and she smiled in spite of herself. She brushed some hair off of his face and kissed his forehead. "I still love you but I don't know why." She whispered. He smiled and sighed. He was whispering something but she couldn't hear him. "What did you say?" She muttered.
He whispered again and she leaned in closer. He reached up and kissed her. He rolled over and trapped her underneath him. "This is not good." She groaned. He moaned and started kissing her again. Her eyes widened in surprise but she quickly started kissing him back. She ran her nails down his bare back and sighed when he kissed her neck. She knew this wasn't right. She was annoyed at herself for going to his room for such a stupid reason and for getting caught up when he kissed her. She was annoyed at him for…just being him. Sam had enough and punched him in the back. "Wake up, Black!" She grunted as she punched his back again.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?" Sirius glared as he tried to rub his back. He gasped in surprise when he realized that she was staring up at him. "Sam, what are you doing here?"
"Be quiet! You don't want to wake the others!" She whispered.
He sat up and helped her up. "What are you doing here?" He whispered.
"Can we talk downstairs?"
Sirius nodded and quietly followed her to the common room. They sat on the window seat and he shivered. "What did you want to talk about?"
Sam smiled. "I forgot that you slept without a shirt on. Are you cold? Do you want to sit by the fire?" She noticed the look on his face and she let out a nervous laugh. "I guess not."
He blushed. "What happened in my room? Why were you under me?"
She blushed at his questions. "I had to talk to you about something. When I …tried to wake you up, I got trapped underneath you."
Sirius slowly nodded. "Did anything else happen?"
"You rolled over, trapped me, groped me, and tried to kiss me. Sorry but I had to punch you to wake you up." She said as she pushed her hair to the side.
"Is that a hickey? Did I do that?"
She blushed and let out a groan. "Yes, it is and yes, you did." He gave her a look and she rolled her eyes. "Ok, I let you kiss me for a few moments. Don't judge me."
Sirius laughed loudly. "I would never judge you."
"Oh shut up! I stopped you before anything serious happened."
He struggled to keep his laughter in but failed miserably. She groaned as she put her face in her hands. He pulled her to him and she rested her head on his shoulder. He held her hand and their fingers entwined. "Don't be embarrassed. I would have done the same thing if I was in your position. Actually, I would have let things get serious." He laughed.
Sam shyly smiled. "I really wish I stayed in my room."
Sirius wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple. "I'm glad you didn't." She blushed. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
She sighed. Having his arms around her like that made her want to hold on to him forever. "I had this weird dream. You were the last person I talked to when I had that last weird dream. It just seemed to make sense to talk to you about it now."
"Was it about those kids again?"
She shook her head. "It was…just weird. All my ex-boyfriends were there. They were telling me that I had to make the right choice."
He sighed. "Was I there?"
Sam nodded and lightly laughed. "You were so damn annoying."
Sirius laughed and squeezed her to him. "I've been accused of that before. What choice did you have to make?"
She gulped. She couldn't tell him the truth. He would most likely make fun of her for being stupid enough to hold on to something that was never real. "Career choice! Each of you were career choices. I had to choose one of you for the perfect job. It was…uh…really weird."
He gave her a weird look and slowly nodded. "Well, who did you choose?"
"I kept trying to choose the others but it was…you that turned out to be the right choice for me." She sighed. "I mean, the career choice you represented was right, not you specifically."
Sirius smiled. He understood that there was definitely a double meaning in what she was saying. He decided to play along anyway. "What career choice did I represent?"
"Curse breaking. The type they do in Egypt for Gringotts. Michael told me all about it. He went there last summer for an internship. He convinced me to apply for one but I wasn't completely sure I should until now."
"Why wasn't Michael the choice then?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. He just wasn't you." He smirked and she glared at him. "Don't you dare use this against me! This doesn't mean that I love you!"
He continued to smile as he nodded. "I understand. We are just friends."
Sam nodded. "Yes, we are. If we have to start over everyday just so I have to prove to you that I don't love you anymore then we will!"
"That's fine with me. I know you don't love me anymore." He winked at her.
She rolled her eyes and laughed. "You're such a git sometimes."
"That's why you love me." He groaned when she punched his chest. "Do I have to be your personal punching bag?"
Sam gently touched the bruise on his chest and smiled. "Yes, you do. No one else makes those funny noises when I hit them like you do." Sirius rolled his eyes and shivered. "Sirius, its December! Why aren't you wearing a shirt?"
"I like to show off the manly bruises I got from you kicking my ass." She let out a loud laugh. He sighed. "Sam, can I ask you something?" She nodded. "The night you went to St. Mungo's…the dream that caused you to…was it my fault?"
She stared at him for a moment. "What are you talking about? Why would you think that?"
Sirius looked away but she forced him to look her in the eyes. "We were fighting a lot. We weren't getting along and I had made that stupid assumption about you being pregnant. If all that didn't happen, would you have been fine? Would you have still been sent away?"
She smiled at him. "Sirius, even if that whole stupid thing didn't happen, I would have still had that dream. I still would have been sent away. It wasn't your fault. I passed out because I stopped taking care of myself-"
"Because of me!"
"No, because I was weak. You were right about me. I was weak and let myself get caught up in my own pain."
He looked at her with a pained expression on his face. "I was wrong, Sammy. You aren't weak."
She shrugged slightly. "The point is that I wasn't taking care of myself and that caused me to pass out. The dream would have come anyway. It wasn't your fault. You shouldn't think that."
Sirius hugged her tightly. "I can't help it. All I've thought about was if that stupid rumor didn't happen then you would have been fine."
"Sirius, stop it! It wasn't your fault! There's no reason to blame yourself. I don't blame you."
He sighed. "Can I ask you something else?"
"Of course you can."
"What made you so scared? What did you see in your dream that made you have to be sent away?"
Sam smiled gently. "I saw…my parents naked!"
Sirius let out a barking laugh. "Sam, that's disgusting!"
"I know! Wouldn't you be scared if you saw them naked too?"
"Stop messing with me!"
She hugged him. "Sirius, your friendship means a lot to me. I want you to know that. I want you to know that I do need you in my life. You keep me on my toes. I'm really sorry that I acted the way I did towards you. It was no fun not being around you."
He kissed her. "It was no fun not being your friend either. I need you in my life too, Sammy."
"Sirius?"
"Yeah?" His eyes widened when she kissed him. He held her tightly to his chest. He pushed her hair out of the way and kissed her neck. He started to unbutton her shirt but she stopped him. "What's the matter? Why'd you stop?"
"You're with Sarah." She kissed him briefly and started to move away but he held onto her tightly. "What?"
"What was that?"
She blushed. "A kiss."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "I know that, Sam. What was that?"
Sam shrugged. "I guess I needed it." He smiled. "I better go back to bed. Tomorrow, we have to start over again." He nodded. "Goodnight, Sirius."
"Sam?"
She turned and faced him. "What?"
"Are you wearing Remus' shirt?" She nodded. "Have you been sleeping in his bed again?" She shook her head. "Did you steal it?" She laughed and shook her head. "Why are you wearing it?"
She smiled and shrugged. "It brings me comfort."
He sighed. "He gave it to you?" She nodded. "Do you ever wear anything of mine?" She shook her head. "Why not?"
"You never gave me anything of yours." He sighed again and looked away from her. "Remus let me have this because he knew that I liked having him near me." He nodded solemnly. "I better get some sleep. You know what happens if I don't." She winked at him and laughed.
"That's not funny, Sam."
Sam hugged Sirius tightly. "It has to be. That's how I deal with it. It helps me to make it into a joke. Sweet dreams, Sirius."
Sirius smiled. "Goodnight, Sam. Try to have good dreams." She nodded and left. He sighed when he was alone. He had a dream that he was with Sam in the abandon park again. This time instead of yelling at him and hitting him, she said she would always love him. She said that she would love him forever. When he woke up and saw her looking up at him, he thought his dream came true. When she said that he was right about her being weak, he felt a pain in his chest. He knew that when he broke up with her, the way he broke up with her, he took away a part of her sense of self and her strength. No matter what she said, he knew it was his fault that she acted that way. Sirius wanted her back with him but first he had to make her believe in herself again. He needed to help her realize her true worth.
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Sirius sat down next to Sam, who was whispering something into Remus' ear which caused him to blush, at breakfast. He nudged her with his shoulder and winked at her. She smiled brightly as she nudged him back. He stuck out his hand and she took it. "Hello, I'm Sirius Black."
Sam giggled. "Hello Sirius. I'm Samantha Potter. It's nice to meet you. Are you going to be a first year at Hogwarts'?"
He smiled. "Yes, I am. Are you?"
She shook her head. "No, not until next year. My brother is starting this year though."
The others gave them weird looks. They were honestly confused by Sam and Sirius' behavior. "You have a brother? How wonderful! Do you think your brother and I will be best mates?"
"Yes, I do. I bet that he will think of you as a brother. I'm sure you'll be closer than brothers."
They shared a laugh while the others continued to stare at them, completely confused. Lilac leaned into Lily's ear and whispered. "Do you think they got into the fire whiskey?"
Lily nodded slowly. "That's the only rational explanation."
"Yeah, I'm the black sheep of my family." Sirius said with a wink.
Sam laughed. "Nice play on words."
"Thank you." Sirius smiled. "I think I will leave my sorry excuse of a family and live at your house. I hope you don't mind."
She giggled. "No, I don't mind at all. Just remember that my brother is a loud snorer who drools too much." Sirius laughed and nudged her in the shoulder. She nudged him back.
"What the hell is wrong with the two of you?" James asked while eyeing them closely.
"Are you two drunk?" Kevin asked.
Sirius smiled. "No, we're not. We just decided that we had to start over to be friends."
"I thought you already did that?" Remus asked as he rubbed Sam's back.
Sam smiled at him. "We had to start over again."
"Why's that?" Patty asked.
Sirius and Sam shared a look and blushed. "No reason." Sirius muttered.
James groaned. "You didn't sleep together, did you?"
Sirius laughed. "No, we didn't. She was begging me for it though." They laughed and Sam punched him. He groaned loudly. "You've got to stop punching me!"
"Stop being a wuss!"
"You hit too hard! You saw the bruises!" He opened his shirt and lifted up his sleeve. The others gasped in surprise. "She's freakishly strong!"
Sam blushed. "Ok, I promise to stop hitting you…so much. I'm sorry Sirius."
He shrugged. "It's quite alright."
The post cam and an unfamiliar owl swooped down in front of Sam. She looked at it closely before untying the package and giving the owl some food off of her plate. "Who sent me a package?" She muttered to herself.
James rolled his eyes. "Open it up and find out, you git."
She rolled her eyes at him and opened the package. She stared at it in surprise before smiling brightly. "I can't believe it."
"What is it, Sammy?" Frank asked.
Sam took the old dark green shirt out of the box and held it up to her nose. She bit her lip and sighed happily as she took in its scent. Sirius slowly smiled as the others looked at her oddly. "You're excited over an old shirt?" Mary asked incredulously. "Whatever does the trick, I guess."
Sam looked at Sirius in amazement. "I can't believe you did this." He blushed and shrugged. "Did you put your cologne on it?" He shrugged again. She smiled at him. "This was very sweet of you."
Sirius wrapped his arm around her neck and squeezed her to him. He kissed her temple and smiled. "It was nothing. I just thought you could use another option about what you wear to sleep."
She hugged him tightly. "This means a lot to me. Thank you, Sirius."
He stared at her closely and smiled. "I just wanted you to have something else of mine."
"What did I have of yours?"
Before he could answer, Lily smacked James upside his head. "You disgusting git!"
James rubbed the back of his head and stared at her in surprise. "It was only a request! There was no reason to get violent!"
"I haven't shown you my violent side yet!"
"I think this is a preview into their wedding night." Sirius whispered into Sam's ear.
Sam struggled to keep her laughter in and poked him in the ribs. "You're terrible!"
He rubbed his side and poked her. "I thought you said that you would stop hitting me?"
She pushed his shoulder and laughed. "I said that I wouldn't hit you so much and I didn't hit you. I poked you. There's a difference."
Sirius tickled her but he stopped and let out a loud yelp. Everyone stared at him but quickly went back to their conversations. Sam turned her head and whispered something in Remus' ear which caused him to blush again. Sirius saw James smiling at him and he rolled his eyes. "What are you smiling at?"
James continued to grin. "Are you two getting back together?"
He smiled and shrugged. "No, we're just friends." James rolled his eyes. "I'm serious, mate! She just wants to be friends!"
"What do you want?"
Sirius smirked and winked. "I'm working on getting what I want."
James laughed but quickly groaned. "Sam, do you have to do that in front of me?"
Sam looked at him in confusion. "What the hell did I do?"
"You were snogging Moony!"
She rolled her eyes. "I was not, you dick! I kissed his cheek!"
Sirius laughed as they continued to argue but it quickly stopped when he yelped again. The others stared at him in surprise. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Kevin asked.
He looked at Sam. "Did you just pinch my bum again?"
Sam stared at him like he was crazy. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Someone…you…pinched my bum twice!"
"I did not! For your information, I've been busy rubbing Remus' bum for the last ten minutes!"
Everyone looked at Remus in amusement. He smiled and nodded. "It's true."
Robin Lynch walked by and winked at Sirius. "Looking good, Black."
"I see we've found out who's been pinching your bum, Sirius." Patty said as everyone laughed.
Sam smiled brightly at Sirius. "What?" He asked.
"I think you owe me an apology."
"I'll give you an apology!" He pulled her to him and started tickling her. She was gasping for air as she laughed. "There's your apology!"
Their fun quickly ended when they heard Sarah's voice. "What the bloody hell is going on here?"
Sirius made a face and rolled his eyes. The others stifled their laughter as he turned around. "What do you mean?"
Sarah rolled her eyes and glared at Sam. "I know what you're up to, Potter! You want to shag my boyfriend!"
"They were just joking around! Aren't you being just a bit paranoid?" Frank said.
"Is his reputation making you nervous, Sarah?" Lilac asked with a smile.
Sirius pretended to look offended. "I'll have you know that my reputation is of being a complete and perfect gentleman!"
"Sure it isn't." James laughed. Sirius smirked.
"She wants to shag my boyfriend!" Sarah yelled.
Sam rolled her eyes. "Actually Sarah, I don't. No offense to Sirius but I'm not in the mood to shag him. Plus, he bruises too easily." They laughed while Sarah continued to glare.
Remus leaned into Sam and whispered in her ear. "She's a bit annoying, isn't she?" Sam nodded and laughed.
"What the hell are you laughing at, Potter?" Sarah glared.
Sirius groaned. He really wished that she would go away. "Sarah, leave her alone! She was just joking around with you! We are just friends! Stop acting so damn crazy!"
Sarah stared at him in shock. "You think I'm acting crazy!" Everyone eagerly nodded. "You can go to hell, Potter! I'll watch you all day if I have to! Just to make sure you stay away from him!"
Sam groaned. "Well, I should warn you that after classes, I'll be really busy. I've made plans to shag Remus senseless."
Remus smiled at Sarah. "It's true. We did." Everyone laughed. "It wouldn't be appropriate if you watched us."
Sarah was fuming. "You all would just love it if she got her hooks into Sirius again, wouldn't you?" They rolled their eyes. "Well it won't happen! He never loved her! We had a good laugh over how he used you, Potter! You are a complete moron for believing you ever had a chance with him!"
Lily stood up and glared at Sarah. "You better shut your face, Rudolph! If you don't, I'll hex you all the way back to the womb!"
"Why should I? I'm only telling the truth! Sirius told me how he never loved her and used her for sex! He told me he only wanted me!"
Sirius stood up and faced Sarah. "Shut up, Sarah!"
"W-What did you just say to me?"
"I told you to shut up! Leave Sam alone! We're just friends and there's no reason to attack her!"
Sarah stared at him closely. "I can't believe you're defending her after what you told me!"
He glared at her. "Leave her alone!" Sarah huffed before stalking off.
"Aren't you going to go after her, Sirius?" Lily asked.
He rolled his eyes. "Hell no! This is the best start to my day! I love it when she's angry! She'll leave me the hell alone and I don't have to hear her whiny voice!" They laughed. He turned to Sam and sighed. "I'm sorry about that, Sam. Don't pay any attention to her."
Sam quietly ate her food and merely shrugged. "I wasn't really listening anyway. Whenever Sarah speaks, my ears automatically turn off."
Sirius lightly laughed. "So do mine."
Lilac looked at her closely and noticed how hard Sam was trying not to cry. "Hey Sam?" Sam looked up and Lilac casually winked at her. "Did you remember to take your Transfiguration essay off your dresser? You wanted me to remind you just in case you've forgotten."
She smiled. "No, I didn't. I better go get it before class. Thanks, Lilac."
She winked and nodded. "Anytime, Sammy. I forgot mine as well. I'll go with you."
The girls got up and walked to the door. Sirius ran over to Sam and awkwardly smiled. He handed her the shirt he gave her. "You don't want to forget this."
Sam nodded. "Thanks, Sirius."
He pulled her away from Lilac and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry about what Sarah said. She's just a jealous shrew."
She laughed as she pulled away. "It didn't bother me. I put up with her because she makes you happy. If she didn't, I'd hex the bitch." Sirius laughed and she left with Lilac.
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Lily and Sam walked down the hallway after classes. Sam was listening to Lily complain about James. He was staring at her all day and trying to apologize to her for what he said at breakfast. "To think he actually had the nerve to say that to me! What he asked me for…was gross!"
Sam smiled at her. "What exactly did he ask you for?"
Lily blushed. "I can't tell you! It's too embarrassing!"
She rolled her eyes. "Just tell me, Lily. I can't possibly judge anyone after what I've done with Severus." Lily sighed and whispered in her ear. Sam let out a loud laugh. "He didn't ask for that!"
"He did! It's too gross!"
"Lily, that's not gross!"
"How can you say that!"
Sam shrugged. "I can say that because I've done that."
"What! With who?"
"With Patrick, Remus, and Sirius. It's not a big deal. I mean, if you have a problem with it then you definitely shouldn't do it but don't treat him like he's a pervert."
Sirius snuck behind them. He wrapped his arms around Sam's waist, picked her up and spun her around once. "What are you beautiful young ladies talking about?" He asked while rubbing his cheek against Sam's.
Sam laughed as he continued to hold her around the waist and briefly kissed her neck. "Lily was just telling me what James requested at breakfast."
Remus walked over to them and smiled. "What's going on?"
Sirius moved around and put his arm around Lily's shoulders as Sam held Remus' hand. "Lily told Sam what James said to her at breakfast."
"What did he say?" Remus asked. Sirius shrugged in response.
Lily was turning bright red. "Sam, don't tell them!"
She giggled. "They won't make fun of you! They'll make fun of him!" She whispered in their ears and they laughed. "See, I told you! It's perfectly normal!" They continued to laugh as they nodded. "I told her it wasn't gross! If it was, I wouldn't have done that with you two and Patrick."
They stopped laughing and stared at her. "Patrick!" They yelled in unison.
"Obviously, it's not a big deal." Lily said with a smile.
Sam rolled her eyes. "It's not a big deal! So what if I did that with Patrick? Why do you two care so much?"
"Because he is an unworthy git!" Sirius grumbled.
Remus nodded in agreement. "He's right, you know. I can't believe you never told us."
She laughed. "It never came up." They rolled their eyes. "Lily, you should just talk to James. Tell him that you don't think it will happen."
Lily sighed. "I'm not saying it won't happen ever." They smiled at her and she rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up! I just wasn't sure…I can't talk to you about this with them here!"
Sam took her to the side and made the boys walk away. "What's the problem?"
Lily blushed again. "How do you…what I'm asking is…can you…explain it to me?" Sam smiled and whispered in her ear just in case the boys were trying to listen. Lily nodded slowly. "So, that's it?" Sam nodded and whispered in her ear again. Lily's eyes grew wide and she nodded again. "He has to do that?"
She shrugged. "It would be nice of him to do that for you."
Lily slowly smiled. "That doesn't sound too awful."
Sam laughed. "It's not, trust me." She started hysterically laughing. "Do you want to know what is awful and gross?"
"What?"
"Me giving you advice about this for my brother!" Lily laughed out loud. "I think this is a sign that my brother and my lives are too closely entwined."
Lily laughed again. "I think you are right about that but what can you do? You've dated two of his best friends and you're best friend is dating him."
Sam shrugged. "Maybe I need a new best friend."
Lily gasped in shock and pushed Sam. "I'm the best thing in your life, Potter!"
Sam laughed. "That's right, you are. You and my brother are the best people."
"Damn straight!"
Sirius and Remus cautiously walked over to them and smiled. "Are you two finished?" Remus asked.
Sam smiled and hugged him. "Yes, we are."
Sirius hugged Lily and winked at her. "How'd it go? Did she convince you?"
Lily blushed and smacked his arm. "That's none of your business, Black!"
"Don't worry, Lily. James will tell us all about what his Lilykins does."
"'Lilykins?'" Sam asked.
Remus laughed as he wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulder. "That's his cute nickname for her. Do you want to know her nickname for him?"
Sam laughed and nodded eagerly as Lily's eyes widened in embarrassment. "You better shut your face, Lupin!"
Sirius smiled evilly at Lily. "Why shouldn't we tell Sam that you call him…your little cuddlebum?"
Lily groaned and blushed. "I really hate you lot!"
Sam was laughing hysterically. "Lily, ew!"
Lily looked at her with a smile. "What about your nicknames for these two?"
"Lily, shut up!"
"What nicknames?" They asked in unison.
"Lily, I'm sorry. I'll never make fun of you again! Please, don't say anything!"
Lily sighed. "Ok, I won't." Sam let out a sigh of relief. "Remus was her conquering hero and Sirius was her madman."
Sam blushed and groaned. "I really do hate you, Lily."
"'Conquering hero?'"
"'Madman?'"
Lily laughed. "See, it's no fun!"
"You're pure evil, Evans!"
"That's why you love me!"
Sirius gave Remus a serious look. "Moony, did I ever tell you that you're my conquering hero?"
Remus shook his head sadly. "No, you haven't, Padfoot. It takes some of the pain away now that you have. Besides, you are my favorite madman."
Sam shook her head in disbelief. "I really do hate you three. You are so damn evil!"
They laughed. "Why didn't you ever tell us these nicknames?" asked Remus.
"And why do we have these specific ones?" asked Sirius.
"I'm not saying a word!" Sam said.
Lily laughed. "I can tell you!"
She whispered in their ears and they smirked at Sam. "Oh really!" They said in unison.
Sam sighed. "You're all bastards, I hope you know." They laughed.
Remus smiled at her. "It's funny!"
She smiled and laughed. "It's a little funny." Remus whispered in her ear and she blushed. "Why should I?" He whispered again. She nodded. "We'll see you two later. We have something to do."
Sirius and Lily watched them leave and saw Sam kiss Remus briefly on the lips. They ran down the hall laughing and Sirius sighed. Lily hugged him. "Are you ok?"
He shrugged. "Of course I am. Why do you ask?"
She rolled her eyes. "Sirius, come off it! Talk to me! We are friends, aren't we?"
Sirius smiled at her and hugged her tightly. "Yes, we are." She smiled brightly. "It's hard to see her with him."
Lily shrugged slightly. "Well, she is single and so is he."
He sighed. "I've made a terrible mistake, Lily."
"Yes, you did."
"I know she just wants to be friends but it's hard." He groaned. "What the hell is wrong with me? I'm Sirius Black! I have most of the girls in this school following me around and I'm too busy pinning away for someone who doesn't want anything to do with me!"
"You're arrogant!" Lily rolled her eyes when he looked offended. "Sirius, you broke the girl's heart! You're lucky she still talks to you! You need to respect her wishes and just be her friend!"
"I love her, Lily!"
She glared at him. "You did a real nice job showing her that when you broke up with her!" He looked shocked. "You know she showed me your break up! What you did to her was completely cruel! You're lucky you still have friends, Sirius!"
"I made a mistake!"
Lily sighed. "Do you remember when you begged me to help you get her to go out with you?" He nodded. "You promised me that you really loved her. You promised me that you wouldn't hurt her. You lied to me, Sirius. You lied to James and you lied to Sam. You should consider yourself lucky that we even talk to you!"
Sirius looked away from her. "I'm sorry, Lily. I hurt the people that I care most about because I was scared. I am lucky that I still have you all in my life; I know that much for sure. I just want her back. I need her back."
"You are just going to have to wait until she is ready. That's all you can do."