Selfless love
Chapter 36: Loss
My eyes flutter open and the first things I see are bright lights and white walls. I look around and see my mum, Hana and Tobias in the room, which is clearly a hospital room based on the machine that is letting out beating sounds from the things that measures my heartbeats that are stuck to my chest. There is another machine that is attached to straps that are wrapped around my stomach, beating noises are coming from that too. I assume it shows the heartbeats coming from my baby, which is still alive, thank God. There is also an IV pole that has three bags on it. Two are half full of clear liquid, the other is blood. All of them are attached to needles in my arms.
My mum, Hana and Tobias are all asleep in their chairs, my mum and Tobias have a hand in one of mine each.
I squeeze Tobias' hand, trying to get him to wake up without waking the others. He wakes and I can tell by his bloodshot eyes that he has been crying. He smiles slightly when he sees that I am awake. He stands and sits on the edge of my bed, embracing me. Also trying not to wake the others up.
"I was so worried about you." He whispers with fear and sadness in his eyes.
"I'm sorry. I love you." I tell him.
"Is the baby all right?" I ask and he stiffens, not answering me. There's something wrong? "Is there something wrong?"
He pulls back and looks at me with more sadness in his eyes.
"Tris…" He says.
"Tell me what's wrong," I say.
"Tris, it turns out we were having twins, the ultrasound couldn't pick the other baby up because our son was blocking her, she was smaller than he was which is why you weren't showing like you should be for twins, and she was against your back. They weren't identical meaning they were in different eggs. When you were shot the bullet went through your uterus and into her egg. It hit her in the heart and she died. They took her out via C-section and sewed up the bullet wound in the uterus and then sewed up everything else. The bullet didn't hit any of your major organs or anything. I'm sorry." He tells me as tears trail down his cheeks.
I'm in shock. I don't know what to say.
I was having twins.
I was shot.
Our daughter is dead.
The daughter we didn't know about is dead.
She's dead.
What about our son?
Is he okay?
"Is our son okay?" I ask as tears fall down my cheeks as well.
"Yeah. Our son is fine. You are fine as well." He says.
That is when I break down into sobs. Tobias wraps me in his arms and I sob into him, clutching at his shirt. I feel his tears through my gown on my back.
I know that my mum and Hana wake up because my mum embraces us for a few minutes before leaving the room with Hana, giving us our space.
"I'm sorry. It's all my fault." I cry.
"No, it's not. It's Andrew's fault, okay." He says.
"But I started going over to Johanna." I say.
"Andrew shot you, he shot Johanna, he started all of this, it's his fault." He says.
I just nod.
That is when a nurse walks in and sees us crying. She walks over to us with a clipboard in her hand and a sad expression on her face.
"I know this is hard for you both but we need you both to figure out a name for her and fill out both of your details and her details on her birth certificate and her death certificate. I'm sorry for your loss. Take your time, but we need it done by the end of the day." She says as she puts the clipboard and a pen on the bedside table and leaves the room.
Tobias pulls away from me and wipes his face with the sleeve of his jacket before picking up the clipboard and pen.
"What should we name her?" He asks.
"Angel for her first name. She's our little angel after all." I say as tears continue to fall down my cheeks.
"How about Angel Rose Eaton?" He suggests.
"Why Rose?" I ask.
"Because it's a sweet name, and I think it goes well with Angel. Also, roses are your favourite flowers." He says.
"Okay. Angel Rose Eaton." I say.
He fills out her name on both certificates and puts his signature and details in the right parts before handing the clipboard and pen to me. I take some deep breaths, trying to steady my hands before I write anything.
When I get to her death certificate I see her time of death and almost laugh at how ironic it is. Not because it's funny, I mean I lost my daughter, the one I never knew about. My daughter is dead. Of course her time of death had to be 05:55. It's ironic because five is in between four and six, our nicknames, our number of fears. It got in between us having a daughter. Five got in between us having our little Angel.
I fill everything I need to out before giving the board and pen back to Tobias, who puts it back on the bedside table before wrapping his arms around me again.
I continue crying, and I know he does too because I feel the tears land on my shoulder and I hear him sniffling.
I cry so much it doesn't take me long to drift back into sleep.
Hey Ravens, sorry, had to do this. I know I kinda said she got shot in the chest but I had to change it so she got shot in the side.
I will update as soon as I can.
Please review!