37.
After she finally figures out the right key to her apartment, she enters it with a look of wonder on her face. I do my best to act as if it is all new to me, but she doesn't really seem to be paying attention to me.
She is looking around, her eyes scanning walls and bookshelves and any sign at all from the part of her life she can't remember. I never noticed before but now I realize she really doesn't have anything like pictures or other things to remember people or events by. No post cards, no memorabilia from trips to places in the US like New York City three years ago, nothing.
She goes off to check out her bedroom and bathroom, leaving me behind in the living room. For a brief moment I get to drop the façade and swallow back a couple tears of frustration and sadness as realization hits me once again that this is not the Bella I know and love. This is a completely different person, who doesn't know anything about who she is now and what happened in her past that broke her and made her become the person I got to know.
Will I have to let her go so she can find out again?
The pain in my stomach tells me I won't be able to. I sincerely hope I won't have to.