Chapter thirty six: Stoned

JPOV

July 15, Saturday

When I woke up, slowly, the first thought in my mind was "where's Nessie?".

"Right here baby." She grabbed my hand and squeezed in it. I groaned, and she let go a little. I was entirely encapsulated in some harness, so my hand was actually the only part that she was allowed to touch. She hovered over me so her face came in my line of sight.

I felt dizzy and weak. There was no room for emotions in my current state. Nessie had emotions enough for the both of us. Crying and whispering I love you's. I could hardly feel any excitement myself, but I did enjoy the sight of happy Ness.

The second clear thought in my mind was "am I still crippled?"

I tried to move my toes, but nothing happened.

"Not yet, honey. We need to wait for the swelling to go down. But Carlisle says that he managed to free the dislocated nerve. It was a very tricky operation with lots of complications. A human would not have survived."

At this she started crying again.

"Hush," I said, and lifted my hand to wipe her tears away. My voice was raspy and my mouth dry. She immediately gave me a wet cloth to suck on. I was fed by a tube in my arm, as I wasn't allowed to move my head.

"They had to break several neck bones, and now we need them to heal properly."

My dizziness was slowly turning into nausea.

"Carlisle, can you come over please. He's not feeling well."

The doctor stepped in and I saw him put something into my Baxter.

He took his flashlight and looked into both my eyes. I think he was pleased because he smiled. But I was dozing off again, so I didn't understand what he told Nessie.

Next time I woke up, the nausea was gone, but my entire chest and back were hurting. Badly. Again Nessie was with me in an instant. She now added the drugs herself and said into the air "Jasper, give me a hand here? Until the meds kick in." The pain was instantly fading, but I stayed awake. I looked into her worried face and wondered if I was doing worse now than the previous time I woke up.

"No baby, you're doing great. I just wish I could help you some more. I'm that kind of girl." She smiled, reassuringly.

I remembered a previous conversation. Did anyone call my sister and William?

"Of course. They've been here all day. We couldn't get him to leave so Esme went shopping for food. Lot's of food."

I smiled weakly.

"You want to see them?"

Not yet. I think the meds are…

"He's waking again."

"Any pain?"

"No not yet."

"He'll need to do the exercises again."

"I want to help with that."

"He didn't want you to do them last time."

"We'll ask him."

"Huh?" I uttered. I wasn't quite there yet. "Ask me what?"

"Nothing to worry about for now, honey. How are you feeling?"

"Stoned."

Several voices chuckled.

"That's good I guess."

"Could be worse."

"Actually I'm hungry."

"You can't be hungry. You are constantly fed intravenously."

"Hmmm."

As if on cue, my stomach growled.

Again people were laughing.

Told you I was hungry.

"We can't lift your head up to eat, but you can have some liquid food through a straw, fill your empty stomach."

"Sure sure."

"How's milk shake?"

"Great."

"I'll get it."

Who are all these people?

"Let's give him some rest. Nessie will take care of the food."

"Yeah. Rest. Nessie."

The milk shake was delicious. The meds were slowly fading in my blood, and some pain was moving back in. Not too much. I asked her not to sedate me right away. I wanted to be conscious for a little while.

"Nessie, can you do me a favor?" I want to test something.

"Of course. What is it?"

"Touch my legs, see if I can feel everything."

She moved her hand from my side over my hips to my thighs, my knees, all the way down to my feet. I was happy my senses were still in tact.

"Carlisle says that the breaks are starting to heal and the swelling is coming down slowly."

"Good."

"But it can still take several more days before you can use your muscles again. And even then you'll have to be careful. He thinks you should start your exercises again." She looked at me questioningly.

"Oh." I could see where she was going. But being able to help me was important for William.

She looked disappointed now.

"I tell you what. I'll let you feed me." Isn't that the most important part?

She smiled and shook her head slightly "Always the super wolf."

"That's me, babe."

"Can I stay?" she asked.

"You'll have to ask him, he's the physiologist." He's got the crush and you're a mind reader, so I'm guessing he won't want that.

"That's what I feared."

You don't trust him? Read anything wrong in his mind?

"No. He adores you. And he knows you're mine," she grinned. Something dawned on me.

"Baby, you're not jealous are you?" She looked insulted.

"What if I am? You've been with him constantly the last weeks."

I couldn't help but laugh "Honey, last time I checked I was straight."

"So was he."

"Well then, you're just going to have to trust me, aren't you?" I grinned.

"Guess I am."

Maybe I shouldn't have so much fun with this, but I thought it was pretty hilarious that she was jealous about a guy now. She was probably just insecure that I wouldn't be able to forgive her, although I have told her I already had. When I looked into her sad face, I felt sorry for her though.

"Come here honey, let me kiss you."

Her eyes brightened instantly, and she leaned over me, very carefully.

When her lips touched mine, I opened my mouth slightly and she tilted her head and softly licked my tongue. I sighed happily and her fingers gently combed through my hair. I thought to her: I love you baby, don't worry, everything is going to be fine. I can feel it.

She hummed her agreement, without breaking contact. It was hard to keep still, my hand went to her neck, to keep her a little closer to me. But she pulled back.

"We have to be careful with your neck. You just get better soon, okay?"

"Alright. Send my med staff in. I'm ready to work."

She gave me another soft kiss and stepped out of my vision, to be replaced by Carlisle and William.

The doctor gave me a quick check up. He took the bed remote and carefully lifted the mattress a bit, so I had a better view over the room. And then William could start with the now familiar pattern of exercises.

"Man, I can't believe the smell in here." He wrinkled his nose and I laughed, careful not to move.

"It takes some getting used to, yeah."

"How did you manage to survive around this for so long?"

"I was in love. So I endured it." Just like you are enduring it now, I thought.

He understood. Continued the work without further mentioning any annoying vampire habits.

I wanted to know if he was still okay. Feeling the way he did around mind readers and an empath. But by asking, I would reveal even more to their ears, and I didn't want that.

Instead I said "I hope I can go home soon." And with that I meant with Nessie or to the rez. Away from involuntary intruders.

"I hope so too," he said. His eyes rested on my face. "I can't really talk here."

"Is there something you want to talk about?" I shifted my gaze towards my cell.

"Not with the mind readers around. I'll wait."

"Alright."

He finished the exercises in a relaxed silence. I watched him as he handled all my tendons and joints with the most devotion. It was really a shame that the love of such a sweet and caring person would go to waste on a straight married guy.

I didn't think he was suffering too much though. I more believe that he was glad the first person he happened to fall for was somebody impossible to get. He's only just accepting feeling the way he feels, not ready for anything more. And with me he's safe for that.

After he finished up the last exercise, he covered me with blankets again and washed the remaining lotion from his hands.

"I'll go home now for a while. No offence to anyone who hears, but these vampires don't really remember how much young wolves can eat. I'll see you tomorrow." He stepped to the door.

"William?" he looked back at me "Thanks for being here."

He smiled and then went off.