Chapter 35

Trapped in the Music

This was just brilliant(!). Fan-blumin'-tastic(!).

Hey, up. It's Emily. I wasn't feeling to good at that moment in time. Yet again, I found myself all alone because I was different. I was the only one with sensitive hearing and the only one who wasn't dancing. I hated dancing anyway, it doesn't exist where I come from, (not this kind of dancing).

So, all alone I was. In Angie's reception box was where I was. I just stayed on that seat and I daren't look round the corner. I knew I would either see madness or happiness. I didn't want to look either way. I knew it would just make me even more miserable.

My only motivation at that moment for staying put was the hope that Lenny would turn up soon. But there was a little problem about that; his dad and the rest of the mob would be coming too.

Oh no. I didn't want any of them seeing me like this. If they did then they'd know what I'm really afraid of. Loud noises was just one of my problems, I don't want to list them all. I just hoped that Lenny would defend me. But the only problem there was that I wouldn't be able to hear him speak. And the fact that I couldn't read didn't help either.

So, when Lenny came things were difficult because I couldn't talk or hear anything.

"Emily! You're here!" At least Lenny was surprised and happy to see me. "I never thought you'd come! You said you wouldn't, but you have!"

(Though I could hear him at the time, the author can fill in for me in what Lenny actually said).

"What made you come back?" He asked me. But I of course couldn't hear him. "Emily, what have you got your hand over your ears for?" [Because it's too quiet(!) Duh!]

But Lenny wasn't the only one who had come to see me. His dad was with him when he came over to see me and Lino wasn't too impressed with my cowardliness. I mean, I was supposed to be this tough little fish who once had the guts to face up to him. But he saw me there with my hands over my ears with this worried look on my face.

"What the shell's the matter with you?" He frowned at me. "Take your hands off your ears! What cha doin'?"

I of course couldn't hear his commands.

Lino sighed and shook his head, I obviously couldn't hear him.

Lenny tried to save me from getting into trouble by gently trying to take my fins from covering over my ears. But as soon as I knew what he was doing I pulled away and rather violently shook my head.

Lenny gave his dad a nervous smile. "It's just a little too loud for her."

"I can't believe it!" Lino was astonished. "Little-Miss fearless is scared of a little noise?"

"You're not afraid are you, Emily?" Lenny asked me. But I just looked at him as he talked. I watched his mouth move, (from my point of view), with no sound coming out.

I wasn't sure what was going on. I just looked at Lenny as he was trying to communicate with me through helpless gestures. I couldn't understand what he was trying to tell me.

I decided to look back to Lino. I expected him to be angry with me. Because Lenny had tried to get me to uncover my ears and I pulled away I thought Lino would think of me as a coward. But instead, he was leering. Grinning with malicious intent.

"Looks like I've finally found something you're afraid of." He grinned towards me as he knew I couldn't here him. "I'll bear that in mind."

I could hear him, but I could tell from his leering at me that I was in trouble, and that it had something to do with my fear of noise.

"Lenny, leave the baby with her pacifier." He chuckled.

"Pop, please don't be so mean to her." Lenny tried to stick up for me.

"Just come on."

Lenny took one last sympathetic look at me before swimming off with his dad to the club where the rest of the guys were.

Once again, I was alone. But I didn't just feel lonely this time, or afraid. I felt like a coward.

I knew that Lino was leering about. All this time he thought of me as this tough little kid who has no fears what so ever, someone who's not even afraid of him! And now, I'd just accidentally revealed my true fear. Lino now knew I was afraid of something after all, I knew he would use that against me if I didn't do something to prove him wrong.

But he was right. I was scared of loud noises. It felt like a drill going through my head. It wasn't just uncomfortable, it was painful. I know I'm use to pain by now, I've been through so much pain before. But this wasn't anything like that.

My ears are really sensitive, I can't help it! In the Twilight Zone when you can't see anything you have to rely on another sense when you can't rely on your eyes. The second sense of a glassfish is our sense of hearing.

I was scared of loud noises. They hurt. And now, Lino knew it.

I had to do something, I wanted to keep my reputation of a tough kid, fearless and determined. I couldn't let a little noise get the better of me.

I tried to take my hands off my ears…

All I hear was: SSSSKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRR!

I quickly covered my ears back up. It was too painful.

My heart was pounding. I could feel my pulse in my head and I knew it wasn't just he boom, boom, boom, of the club. I wasn't even on the dance floor, I was away from the clubbing area and even here it was too loud for me.

I had to do it. I hated being alone, it was last month ago all over again. (That's before Lenny first found me). I didn't want to go back in the dark, I wanted to stay in the light.

I uncovered my ears again.

SSSSSKKKKK… I held my hands there for a few seconds which was as long as I could. I then covered up my ears again.

I took deep breaths. 'Come on, don't be a coward' I though to myself. 'You're fearless. FEARLESS!'

"I fear nothing!" I said to myself as I faced the volume once again.

I kept my fins there and bared the pain. "You can't scare me!" I said. "You can't keep me in the dark!" I endured the pounding in my head. "I fear nothing! I fear NOTHING!"

"Emily, what are you shouting at?"

I looked behind me. "Angie!" I was so please to see her checking on me, I hated being left along like this.

"Ha, ha…" Angie giggled. "You can hear me!"

I only just realized. I wasn't covering over my ears. "Oh. I am." I sounded a little surprised at myself.

"See, it's not that bad." She smiled.

I smiled back nervously, I guess I didn't know what I was capable of.

"So, do you feel like joining the fun yet?" Since I was feeling better already Angie was eager to see if I was up to joining the club.

I nodded and held out my fin, (I didn't want to go out there alone, I wanted and escort).

Angie took me by the fin and guided me into the music.

This actually wasn't so bad. I guess I really could face the music after all. This actually wasn't bad at all. Even when I swam closer to the source of the music I still didn't falter.

Alright, I'll give this party thing a go. After all, I wanted to be part of this world and I knew how much this club meant to them. If I wanted to be once of them, I would have to like it too.